Hello peoples who actually bothered to look at my profile.

I joined to be able to favourite and reveiw on amazing stories other talented authors have written, I can't think up a decent plotline for a story and probably never will.. but I might upload some stories if I am bothered to instead of reading them!

my deviantart is http://satsumi-pineapple.deviantart.com/

When things look dark, hold your head high so it can rain up your nose.

You can't hear it, but the universe is laughing at you behind your back.

I'm going on a quest, to the deepest, darkest corners of my room, in search of what some would call a "floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me my friends, wish me luck, for I may not return alive

Never forget: 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.

Multitasking allows screwing up several things at once.

My Go this amn keyboar oesn't have any 's.

Hold on.. my train of thought just hit a cow.

dfghkjupih uiph12...ooops...sorry...fell asleep on the keyboard.

Did you expect mere proof to sway my opinion?

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

Best diet: Eat as much as you want, but don't swallow it.

Tell your voices to SHUT UP...I can't hear mine...

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions and your not afraid to admit it, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, Chocolate Chan, Staring.out.my.flooded.window, Hotaru Matsumoto, randomnessgirl, Double Princess, Little Sakura Blossom, roo17, the-pyro-princess13, BakaSatsumi

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

POST THIS ON YOUR BLOG IF YOU LOVE PIRATES!!

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

Things to do in Wal-Mart:

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Stalk someone and see what they buy and make a lifestory for them.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15.Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!!"

16. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.

17. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the toilet.

18. Go into the Butchers Department and start rubbing steaks up and
down on your face saying " oooohhhh that feels so good"

19. Go to the fruit and veg department - get two bananas' and put one in each pocket - walk around the store calling everyone pilgrim in your best John wayne accent sporadically whipping them out of you pocket - making gun noises and then slumping to the floor as if you've just taken several bullets to the chest.

20. Bring your own DVD, popcorn, sweets, drinks and nibbles and pick a nice spot on the floor in the electrical section. Sit cross legged and enjoy the film. (soap operas and kleenex are optional)

21. Take boneless chicken breasts out of the packet and throw them skyward whilst screaming" Fly my little ones, fly and be free!"

22. Randomly jump into people's shopping carts asking "Will you be my mommy?"
SMILE!! Do as the Captain says e_O

If you've ever threatened a computer repost this

I ran with scissors and lived!

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(I never work on my hair anyway.)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion, because, really, you want to break your teeth on a frozen pea.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(Whose body? Are you sure I can't do it to my stalkers?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...or they've had reports of people murdering thier kids...sad.)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious. Do they mean Putting people's fingers in there?)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(But no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

On a Butler Amusements Farris-Wheel
The cleanest show in the west!
(Does that mean that there's dirty ones in the East?)

On artificial bacon:
"Real artificial bacon bits".
(we don't get fake fake bacon. we get real fake bacon.)

On an American Flag:
Made in China
(OMG! We're Chinese!)

At Funplex:
Paintless Paintball
(So it's...ball?)

Next to a kid's place:
Adult Movies
(Yeah, do I even need to comment on this?

In a Parking Lot:
Do not park in the parking lot.
(That's okay, the streets are empty.)