Yay! You've liked my writing enough to come to my profile! Success! :D

As you'll find out, I'm pretty slow at writing. So feel free to send me a message asking for a new chapter on a certain story. Sometimes it takes a kick in the pants for me to get new content up on your favorite story.

Real name: Hailey

Gender: Female

Birthday: January 11th 1996

Obsession: Transformers (seriously, any more obsessed and I'd either explode or turn into Optimus Prime. Which by the way the second would be awesome! :D)

Favorite Bands: Owl City, fun.

Likes: Friends, Transformers, hanging out, My iPod, Music (whatever sounds good), astronomy

Transformers series I've watched: G1, TFA, Movies, TFP, Rescue Bots

Notes on my progress:

Ok, so I'm trying to balance out my time on each of my stories. If I don't update for a while, don't kill me. That be all. =)

A note about "Mackenzie Culmann: A Life Story"

Ok, I have no idea where this came from. I'm a total Autobot Fangirl. I hate 'Cons! ... I BLAME THE PLOT BUNNIES!!!

(Oh, and just so I don't get sued, I don't own any of the pictures I use as my avatar or story covers.)

Random copy-pate-thingys

Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried to slam a revolving door.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!

They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly I think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," I don't think many people would be dead...

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.

'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUH! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

If several inanimate objects hate you, post this on profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. (both)

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or visa versa copy this into your profile

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

If you run into inanimate objects...and then blame them for it, copy and paste this in your profile.

.eliforp ruoy otni etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

If you ever said a line from Transformers copy and paste this onto your profile

AUTOBOTS! If you are on the side of the righteous Autobots paste this onto your profile!

Many people want very badly for fictional characters to exist. Little do they realize, That anything you can think of really can exist, in a different dimension. Considering the fact that there are an unlimited amount of dimensions, any kind of fictional character and/or universe really does exist! Copy and Paste this onto your profile if this made you have an amazing epiphany, and made you very happy (Also add your name to the list). District X, MISCrasyaboutfanfics, MoreThanMeetsTheEye231

97 percent of teens only see the Transformers franchise because of Shia La Beouf or Megan Fox. Copy and paste this into your signature if you're the other 3 percent that goes to see things explode and robots beating the slag outta each other!

Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dyslexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Boys are like slinkies, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Music = Life. :3

I'm not random I'm just--SALAD!

Random quotes:

"I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious."
-Adam Young (a.k.a. Owl City)

"On a scale from walnuts to Mikey Way, your awesome-o-meter is off the charts." --Scribble

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
-Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

"I DIDN'T LOSE THE GAME. I WAS THINKING OF PURPLE COWS." - Scribble

"My invisible pencil won't write on my invisible paper! D: wait..." -Zoe

"DIE BUGS DIE" -- Zoe

"Advice- I'm only a freshie, but here's what I have to say; never give up on yourself. People might tell you it's not worth it, but if it's what you want, then PROVE THEM WRONG!!!" --mcrlover96

"Well of course I like looking at cars rather than boys! And for two reasons; Cars will actually stay in one spot long enough to listen to what you have to say, and when a car has something wrong with it...well...at least THAT can be fixed." --OPGirl106 (on DeviantART)

"Let your actions speak for you." - Chromia

I copied this from MISCrasyaboutfanfics profile because I thought they were hilarious. x)

Made up outtakes from the '07 TF movie

Ratchet: The boy's pheremone level suggests he wants to mate with the female.
(scenery falls on top of everyone.)
'Sam' (groaning): Anyone know who did that?
(Various crew members start laughing)

Ironhide: Why are we fighting to save the humans? They're a primitive and violent race and it's not fair that we don't get a lot of screentime.
Jazz: Ironhide, stick to the script. At least--oh slag.
Director: Cut!!

Oprimus: Megatron.

Megs: Prime. (tosses Jazz's corpse aside) Who does Michael Bay think he is to make this kind of movie?

Director: Cut!!

Megatron: Humans don't deserve to live.
Optimus Prime: They deserve to choose for themselves
Megs: Then you will die with them, and get a new paint job, the one you have sucks.
Prime: Unfortunately, that was the only thing I couldn't choose...

Optimus: With the Allspark gone, we can not return life to our planet and fate has yielded it's reward; a new world to call 'home'. We live among it's people now...
(sometime later)
Random crew member: Great job, Prime, great job.
Optimus: Shia, Megan, you can stop 'making out' now.
(cast and crew start laughing)

How to Tell if You're a Writer

[x] If you talk to yourself.
[x] If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. ‘I wonder why I talk to myself so much?’)
[x] If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. ‘Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word ‘deliver’ could mean removing someone’s liver?’)
] If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’
] If you live off of sugar and caffeine.
] If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
] If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
] If, when replying to someone else’s e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
] If you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.
] If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
[x] If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
] If people think you might have A.D.D.
] If you think it’d be cool to have A.D.D.
[x] If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.
[x] If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason.
[x] If your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.
] And finally, the number one way to tell if you’re a good writer: If you failed English 10

Top 10 favourite Transformers

1: Bumblebee (TFP)

2: Blades (RB)

3: Optimus Prime (G1)

4: Wheeljack (G1)

5: Jazz (G1)

6: Arcee (TFP)

7: Prowl (TFA)

8: Ironhide (Movieverse)

9: Ratchet (TFP)

10: Sunstreaker & Sideswipe (G1)

What would you do if...

2 woke you up in the middle of the night?

Me: Whoever woke me up must have a death wish. *sees it's Blades* Oh. Hey Blades. What's up? (He's adorable enough to get away with it.)

3 walked into the bathroom while you're showering?

Me: GAH! GET OUT! I'M NAKED!

5 cooked you dinner.

Me: Jazz, how did you fit in my kitchen? O.o

6 was lying on the beach next to you sleeping.

Me: *is sleeping too*

4 announced he/she is going to marry 9 tomorrow

Ratchet: No.

Wheeljack: Uh...

Me: Um. No.

7 confessed they were related to you

Me: AWESOME I'M A TECHNO-ORGANIC. What up, bro?

8 got into the hospital somehow

Me: So, Ironhide. This is, what, you're millionth time being sent to Med Bay?

Ironhide: *glares*

9 made fun of your friends

Me: Well. Someone's grumpier than usual.

10 ignored you all the time

Me: They're too busy perfecting Jet Judo.

Two serial killers are hunting you. What will 1 do?

Bee: Beep be-beep! (I'll kick their afts!)

Me: I feel loved!

You're stuck in a house on fire. What does 5 do?

Jazz: Save your skin, of course.

Me: I am so protected!

You can't stop laughing. What will 10 do?

Sunstreaker: SHUT UP.

Me : *laughs harder*

Sideswipe: *is laughing too*

1 is all you ever dreamed of. Why?

Me: Um... wut?

2 tells you about his/her deeply hidden love for number 9. Your reaction?

Blades: I DO NOT.

Ratchet: Frag right you don't.

Me: *sigh* Sometimes, I hate my fandom.

Number 8 thinks he'll/she'll never get a girlfriend/boyfriend. What will you tell him/her?

Ironhide: What?

Chromia: *pops from nowhere.* He's taken. *drags Ironhide away.*

Number 9 gives you a bagel. Do you eat it?

Me: *nom nom nom* What was the question?

6 got high.

Me: Um...

8 buys a computer. What's the first thing he looks up?

Me: Guns. Big ones. Ironhide likes him some weapons.

Ironhide: *looks up from catalogue of machine guns* Huh?

1- WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE TRANSFORMER?

Bumblebee :D

2- WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU MET YOUR FAVORITE TRANSFORMER?

glomp his leg.

3- WHAT WOULD YOUR FAVORITE TRANSFORMER DO IF HE/SHE MET YOU?

Look at the new parasite on his leg. But once I finally detatched myself, he'd probably like me. :3

4- WHAT MUSIC DOES HE/SHE LISTEN TO?

Whatever sounds good I guess.

5- DO YOU HAVE AN OC?

Yup, Flair. She's my iPod that Wheeljack turned into an Autobot.

6- WHAT WOULD YOUR OC DO IF HE/SHE MET YOUR FAVORITE TRANSFORMER?

Say hi, she does see him pretty much daily after all.

7- WHO IS YOU FAVORITE AUTOBOT?

Bee :D (I love him in all universes, (except Shattered Glass of course) but TFP Bee has to be my favorite.)

8- WHAT CRAZY THING COULD YOU IMAGINE HE/SHE DOING?

I did see him in an amusement park in G1...

9- WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE DECEPTICON?

TFP Soundwave. He'd pretty much the only Decepticon that legitimately scares me. O.o

10- WHAT CRAZY THING COULD YOU IMAGINE HE/SHE DOING?

Soundwave doesn't do crazy.

11- WHAT WOULD YOUR FAVORITE AUTOBOT AND DECEPTICON DO IF THEY MET EACH OTHER?

Fight. Duh.

12- WHO IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE AUTOBOT?

Sentinal Prime from DOTM. I WANT TO KILL HIM.

13- WHO IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE DECEPTICON?

Galvatron. His character is stupid. Megatron was better. :P

14- IF YOU COULD MARRY YOUR FAVORITE TRANSFORMER, HOW MANY KIDS WOULD YOU HAVE?

No! I want to be friends with them. FRIENDS.

15- WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE TRANSFORMERS PAIRING?

I don't wanna read mushy stuff. But I'm happy for Optimus and Elita and Ironhide and Chromia. That's about it.

16- HAVE YOU EVER CALLED A TRANSFORMER HOT?

Adorable, yes. Badass, yes. Awesome, yes. Hot, no.

17- IF YOU COULD TRANSFORM INTO A CAR, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Blue 2010 Camaro with Black racing stripes. c:

18- WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE FEMALE AUTOBOT?

Arcee.

19- WHAT SIDE WOULD YOU JOIN?

Autobots! DUH!

You know you are obsessed with Transformers when…..

[x] You hug every yellow vehicle thinking its Bumblebee. (I want to hug every Camaro I see... Does that count?)
[x] You are afraid to go near a yellow Lamborghini for fear you might accidentally mess up its paint job and incur the wrath of the sun. (Don't mess with the paint! XD)
[x] You laugh uncontrollably when you see a red lambo and a cop car at once. (Haven't seen that yet, but I totally would!)
[x] You can never look at a mustang the same way again. (Fragging Barricade.)
[x] You are distrustful of any black and white saleen mustang. (Barricade again :L)
[x] You suspect every semi truck with flames is Optimus Prime. (More like hope.)
] You name your green Jeep Hound (Don't have a Jeep, but I totally would!)
[x] You don’t trust black cop cars for fear that it is Barricade. (Or maybe it's Prowl...)
[x] You constantly wait for things to crash from Decepticon attack. (I somtimes feel like I'm being watched. I always blame the 'Cons.)
[x] You cannot look at a boombox the same anymore. (If I ever saw a red one I'd have a total fangirl attack)
] You used to hate technology and now you love it. (Hate technology?!)
[x] You have read every bit of fan information to see what is going to happen in TF3. (I saw it a day early. BEST MOVIE EVER!!!)
[x] You see the title Deception and think Decepticon. (Always.)
[x] You mistake Auto body Repair with Autobot Repair. (All the time.)
] Radio Controlled robots are no longer good enough for you. (Never had those.)
] You go to the Hoover dam to make sure Megatron is nice and safe in layers of ice. (Stay frozen, ya fragger!)
] You write your congressmen and senators asking to stop Sector 7 funding. (How dare you hurt mah Bee?!)
[x] You start fights with Pirates of the Caribbean and Harry Potter fans and state a 200-page thesis why the Transformers are better then pirates and wizards. (Hey I love Harry! But I'll argue why TF is awesome any day.)
[x] You know more about the Transformers then the actors themselves. (I know a lot about Frank Welker and Peter Cullen too...)
] You get an Autobot tattoo. (No tattoos!)
] You get a Decepticon tattoo. (same as above)
[x] You see an ambulance and think it is Ratchet. (always)
] You claim one of the NASCAR’s is actually Hot Rod in disguise.
[x] You state that Jenny (XJ9) is sucky in comparison to Arcee. (Duh!)
] You know each song ever used in TF. (No, but i can name all the TF instrumental music by listening to the first 10 seconds)
] You think Stan Bush is hiding secrets to the locations of real TF’s.
[x] You think Darth Vader is a wuss and Megatron is the real Lord of the Sith. (Hells yes! XD)
[x] You want to join the Air Force or Navy just to fly a F-22 or F-15 or F-16. (Awesome plane! Not an awesome character, but awesome plane!)
] You write an essay for school about what you want to grow up to be and you say you want to be an Autobot when you grow up. (I doubt my teachers would appreciate that. XD)
] You call the White House and suggest sending Scorponok to Iraq to end the war. (Unfortunately, he'd never work for us. Stupid fragger.)
] You are a scientist and want to be called Dr. Jetfire, or Dr. Starscream, or Dr. Preceptor.
] You are known as General Jazz.
] You call your gun Ironhide. (I no has gun)
] You claim that the train you took last year was Astrotrain. (AAAAAHHHH!!! PURPLE SPACE TRAIN FROM HELL!!!)
] You are a boy and change your name to Sam, Spike, or Sparkplug.
] You are a girl and change your name to Carly or Michaela, or Maggie.
] You own every DVD, VHS, and Blu-Ray disk of TF. (No, but I keep both TF movies in my room)
] You write your college essays on the show and its mythological parallelisms.
] You pray to God for your very own Bumblebee. (Not a bad idea...)
] You pray to Lord Primus instead of God.
] You think your teachers attitude resembles that of Shockwaves. (I haven't got any bitchy teachers)
[x] You get your parents obsessed with it as well. (No, but I got my sister and my friend obsessed, does that count?)
] You give people headaches from constant babble on TF theories. (I babble, but not to the point of headache inducing.)
] You start calling all insects Insecticons. (Now that you've given me the idea...)
[x] You name old cassette tapes after Soundwaves. (I've got a mini cassette in my room. I've got a plan for if it starts to transform: Throw it out the window.)
[x] You cannot hear the word blackout without thinking of Blackout. (That also goes for when my dad says "Get me my ratcheting screwdriver." ...Heehee... Ratchet...)
[x] You start trying to talk like Blurr. (yup x])
] You name your other green Jeep Brawn.
] You say you are the real Prime. (Pfft, No. That's Optimus, silly.)
] You start allegiances at your school and cause a school wide war with the other side for power over the playground.
] You think your teachers are really Decepticons in pretender shells.
] You use Jetfire as a source for a science paper.
] You cannot call construction machines by their proper name. And you start calling them by Constructicon names.
[x] You think all UFO’s are Cosmos. (Again, more like hope.)
] You go to a museum on natural history and call the dinosaurs by dinobot names. (I will next time I go!)
] You call your twin brothers Frenzy and Rumble. (I only have a little sister. I do call her Sides though, and she calls me Sunny.)
] You start comparing Real political figures with Decepticons and Autobots.
] You run for class president under the saying “Peace through tyranny.” (I've never run for class president)
] You run for class president under the saying “Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.” (same as above)
] You separate your family by fraction and sub-group.
[x] You used to hate the color yellow and now love it. (Never hated it. Before, it was just a color. Now I love it cause I always think of Bee. :3)
] You are a boy and wear pink to advertise Arcee for TF2.
] You call Nasa and give them suggestions on improving technology based on Transformers designs. (If only I had NASA's #)
] You look at a map of astronomy and try to locate planet Junk or Cybertron.
[x] You play Prowl vs Barricade instead of Good cop vs Bad cop.
[x] You think Decepticons caused the California forest fires. (Damn 'Cons!)
[x] You claim every earthquake is caused by Rumble. (I've sometimes thought that...)
[x] You claim the oil crisis is caused by Megatron wanting Energon. (greedy fatass)
] You have reoccurring dreams where you are a Transformer. (I wish!)
] You tell your physics teacher he/she is full of it and that the Transformers have proved that you can travel faster then speed of light is a possibility.
] You covered your walls with TF pics. (I wish!)
] You call your computer Teletran one. (I will now! XD)
] You have the TF 2008 Calendar up on your wall and it is just 2007. (I had a TF 2010 calendar...)
[x] You are over the age 16 and still want Transformers bedding. (15, but close enough)
[x] You want to collect the Dreamwave Comics even thought they went bankrupt and are incomplete stories. (I want TF comics!)
] You do not call electricity; electricity anymore and call it Energon now. (My dad will be so annoyed. XD)
] You refer soda as Energon as well. (I've referred to pink lemonade as energon...)
] You call your local garbage man Wreck-Gar. (never seen my local garbage-man. he stays in the truck. ...Wait a minute...)
[x] You build a model of the Ark. (I drew a floor plan. Does that count?)
] You also build a model of the Nemesis. (thinking of doing a floor plan for that)
] You then stage battles between your two new models.
[x] You want to move to Iacon. (HELLS YES!)
] You think your local minister is really a member of the Ancients.
] You try to do Circuit-su. (Prowl! Teach me!)
] You try-and fail- to do Jet Judo. (That'd be awesome!)
] You state that Global Warming is really a Great Shutdown of the planet.
[x] You don’t say WTF anymore you say What the Matrix. (More like "What the frag")
] You call your soul a spark now.
] You think the head of congress is really a Quintessian.
] You try to build a space bridge.
] You think the end of the world will come from Unicron.
] You want Vector Sigma.
[x] You take to the shooting range to learn how to shoot moving targets. That way you can shoot down Decepticon Seekers. (I could only hit the stationary cans!)
[x] You join Transformer fanclubs. (2)
] You own a Transformer related site.
] You are the leader of a Transformers fanbase.
] You need to seek psychiatric help for delusional disorder from transformers induced hallucinations.
[x] You see anything TF and go fan crazy.
] You want every toy even if it means importing it.
] You want Takaras autograph.
[x] You want to be a truck driver because you might get to meet Optimus that way.
[x] You bought the DVD the first day it came out. (begged my mom to x])
[x] You saw the movie over 25 times. (I watched it almost every day over the summer x])
] You go and buy a GMC Topkick thinking it's Ironhide and always hug it.
] You hug a Pontiac Solstice thinking it's Jazz brought back to life.
] You scream and hide when you hear something like a siren thinking it's Barricade.
[x] You get a shirt with the autobot symbol.
[x] You buy a pinata with a decepticreep symbol on it and smash away. (I got a dart board)
] You sign up for the military hoping to see Lennox, Epps, and the Autobots.
[x] Every time you see a semi truck you yell "Optimus Prime!"
[x] You read this entire list and added to it.