Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once.
-Lillian Dickson

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
-William Shakespeare
Macbeth, 5. 5.

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.
-Mother Teresa

Girls Don't Relize These Things

I'm sorry That I brought you roses To tell you that I like you

I'm sorry That I was raised with respect Not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry That my body's not ripped enough To satisfy your wants

I'm sorry That I open your car door And pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry That I'm not cute enough To be your guy

I'm sorry That I am actually nice Not a jerk

I'm sorry I don't have a huge bank account To buy you expensive things

I'm sorry I like to spend quality nights at home Cuddling with you, instead at a club

I'm sorry I would rather make love to you then just screw you Like some random guy

I'm sorry That I am always the one you need to talk to But never good enough to date

I'm sorry That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car But when we went, you went home with another guy

I'm sorry That I am there to pick you up at 4 AM when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere But not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a doormat Only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours Instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry That you don't realize I've been the one all along

I'm sorry If you read this and know somebody like this but don't care

But most of all...

I'm sorry For not being Sorry anymore

I'm sorry That you can't accept me For who I am

I'm sorry I can never do anything right and nothing that I do is good Enough to make it in your world

I'm sorry I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it I thought that was what friends were for

I'm sorry That I told you I loved you And actually meant it

I'm sorry That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you Instead of spending time with my family

I'm sorry That I cared

I'm sorry That I listen to you at night talking about how you wish You could have done something different

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you''re complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head 'Why won't you give me a chance?' because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this, copy and paste this in your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If you're one of the few girls with enough balls to copy and paste this in your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste this in your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Sugar is sweet and so are you!

But sadly,

The roses have wilted,

The violets are dead,

The sugar bowl's empty,

and my dagger's stained red.

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

One night Dracula and Tinker bell fell in love and had a child, that created Edward Cullen

Just because I shut up doesn't mean I gave up. I’m just trying to think where I put the duct tape.

My "Esc" seems to be broken on my keyboard. I keep hitting it, but I am still here and not on a beach!

i may not be as beautiful as a rose or as delicate as a lily, but i am pure as a wildflower :)

Dear "Cool People",
They didn't name a candy after you, did they?
Sincerely, Nerds

would like you to know that my sarcasm is only one of the many services I provide, I also mimic, poke fun, and generally undermine. Am available for weddings!

Has A.D.O.S.D (attention deficit Ohhhhhh Shiny disorder) lol

Had a long talk with myself . . . it did not end well.

you are one step away from making the duct tape, bleach, rope and rubber gloves in the trunk of my car necessary! This is your first warning...

I do not believe I could actually slap the stupid out of someone, but I do believe I could have a whole lot of fun trying to slap the stupid out of someone

I'm a ninja! Waaaaah *falls* See? I attacked the floor for the 10th time today!!!

16 ways to maintain a Healthy level of insanity.

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their Caffeine addictions, switch to expresso.
6. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance to the Prophecy".
7.Don’t use any punctuation.
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Specify that your drive thru order is "To Go"
10. Sing Along at the Opera
11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON I WON!!"
14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they’re loose!!
15. Tell your children over diner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
16. Send this to your friends to make them smile, It’s called therapy.

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

-Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

-Please select from the following options menu:

-If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

-If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

-If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

-If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

-If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

-If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

-If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

-If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

-If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

-If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

-If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

-If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won’t be crazy forever.

-If you are blonde, don’t press any buttons, you’ll just mess it up.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE is when it's weird.

"Curiosity killed the cat, but I'm not a cat so that's not my problem."

"Who ever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door."

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
"'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"

Facts

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

THINGS TO PONDER:
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate? Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Few women admit their age. Fewer men act it

Don't steal! The government hates competition.

Be nice to your kids, they'll be choosing your nursing home.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back!

They told me I was gullible...and I believed them

>:( Dont interrupt me while I'm talking to myself

i love you is spelled with 8 letters

Even i'm eatable but thats called CANNIBALIZIM my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies!

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.

You say you hate me, but deep down, you know you love me.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same.

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we fucked up!

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Bitch, hiccup drink the rest of that...! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
BEST FRIEND: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

FRIENDS: Will watch my pets when I go away
BEST FRIENDS: Won't let me go away

FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with me
BEST FRIENDS: Will kidnap the band with me

FRIENDS: Hides me from the cops
BEST FRIENDS: is probably the reason they're after me in the first place

FRIENDS: let me make an idiot of myself in public
BEST FRIENDS: are up there with me making an idiot out of themselves too.

FRIENDS: Fade
BEST FRIENDS: Are forever

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this 'ice ice _'

You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, Neopet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies
Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movie
Carebears
Gak was the coolest stuff invented.
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
You had to read Weekly Reader's in class.
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before MIKE JONES . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkmans.
When a gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket.
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things.

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check
Again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough

.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart.

Men's Group - la computer
The men's group decided that computers should definitely be female: la computer' because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval.

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay cheque on accessories for it.

Women's Group - le computer
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be male: 'le computer' . Here is the ladies reasoning:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves.

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realise that if you' d waited a little longer, you could have got a better model.

Who do you think won the gender argument?
Should it be Le Computer or La Computer?

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot.

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself.

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else.

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffeine.

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

You have strange nicknames and can tell a detailed story about how you got them.

You know most of the keyboard shortcuts so that you don’t have to ‘waste’ your time reaching for the mouse.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions

You know you live in 2011 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years.

3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen-name or facebook

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.

6. Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7. As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8. As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9. And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10. You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11. Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12. Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did. --

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever watched TV, got to a commercial then completely forgot what you were watching, copy and paste this to your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.

If you sometimes absolutely have to write something, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever written something, loved it, but then next time you read it you hate it and completely rip it apart and completely rewrote it, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you ever felt like just randomly running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects...copy this into your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

1.)A B-25 bomber cashed into the 79th floor of the Empire State building on July 28,1945

2.)Albert Einstein married his first cousin

3.)India has a Bill of Rights for cows

4.)There are 318,979,564,000 possible combinations of the first four moves in Chess

5.)The "57" on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of pickle types the company once had

6.)The US dollar bill is made of cotton and linen

7.)Orcas kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach causing it to explode

8.)About 200,000,000 M&Ms sold each day in the United States

9.)There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos

10.)Coconuts kill about 150 people each year, that's more than sharks

11.)Half of all bank robberies happen on Friday

12.)The first bomb the Allies dropped on Berlin in WW2 killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo

13.)If you put a drop of liqour on a scorpion it'll intantly go mad and sting itself to death

14.)More people are afraid of open spaces than tight spaces

15.)The Guiness Book of Records holds the record of being the book most stolen from public libraries

16.)$203,000,000 are spent on barbed wire each year in the US

17.)Every US president has worn glasses(just not in public)

18.)Bats always turn left when exiting a cave

19.)Every continent name ends with the same letter they started with

20.)The electric chair was invented by a dentist

SO CUTE! (sooo meee)

Girl: What's wrong?
Boy: I like her so much...
Girl: Talk to her!
Boy: I don't know. She won't ever like me.
Girl: Don't say that.. You're amazing.
Boy: I just want her to know how I feel.
Girl: Then tell her...
Boy: She won't like me...
Girl: How do you know that?
Boy: I can just tell.
Girl: Well just tell her.
Boy: What should I say?
Girl: Tell her how much you like her!
Boy: I tell her that daily..
Girl: What do you mean?
Boy: I'm always with her. I love her
Girl: I know how you feel. I have the same problem. But he'll NEVER like me!
Boy: Wait. Who do you like?
Girl: Oh some boy.
Boy: Oh... She won't like me either.
Girl: She does..
Boy: How do you know...?
Girl: Because, who wouldn't like you?
Boy: You.
Girl: You're wrong, I love you.
Boy: I love you too.
Girl: So are you going to talk to her?
Boy: I just did!