Poll: should i continue any of my stories? Vote Now!
Author has written 8 stories for Pokémon, X-overs, Wizards of Waverly Place, Ironman, Calvin & Hobbes, Kane Chronicles, and Avatar: Last Airbender.
GO TO THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE!!!!!
Because We All Have Some of These...
I know at least one person who would love to push me down the stairs.
I have started laughing for no reason.
I have tried to explain why I was laughing, but was laughing too hard.
I have tried to stop laughing uncontrollably, and ended up laughing harder.
If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.
My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend than copy this to your profile.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (But, when else will I be able to do my hair?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (Ohhh...see, I thought different soap had different methods of use.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (I'd say that method of ironing works very well.)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (That is correct, we need to stop them five year olds from driving them fancy cars.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (Well, isn't that the intention?)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (I had no idea there was an in-between use.)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (..I have no idea what that means..)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Go figure...I wanted almonds!)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (Good to know.)(Too bad about the other guy who everyone now calls 'Stumpy.')
On plastic wrapping: "Do not put on head...may result in suffocation." (But...suffocation is fun!)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity. Copy and paste this into your profile! XD
female come backs
pick up line comebacks, add to it
Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together.
Man: Have we met? Woman: I hope not, if we have I want to die.
GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks" GUYS REPOST THIS AS "don't let this happen"
Ellen DeGeneres: My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
Unknown: "When life gives you lemons, make applesauce. Then sit back, relax, and watch as everyone tries to figure out how the hell you did that."
37 Things to do in an Elevator
1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."
19 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. Sneak up behind someone and poke them on the neck. Then run away, laughing hysterically, while saying something about injecting some venemous mixture as an an experiment, and that you hope that that someone won't melt into a pile of fleshy goo.
15 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"
If you dislike, hate, despise or have any negative feelings at all for Harry Potter, copy and paste this into your profile.
God totally owns fanfiction, everyone on it, every thought concerning it, every thought otherwise in the world, every particle in the world and universe, Is and loving and amazingly forgiving (takes a dramatic gasp of air and continues) has power and wisdom beyond even our wildest dreams, and DOES EXIST . If you agree, please, do copy and paste
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up.
He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism
Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb-war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny. Crazy is when you crack up if someone says "Oatmeal!". Crazy is when you forget what you're saying in the middle of a sentence. Crazy is when you take the time to write down stuff like this and memorize it. Crazy is when you are going through this as a checklist. Crazy is when you quote Charlie the Unicorn at random moments. Crazy is when you eat twenty pixie sticks in one day. Crazy is when you're crazy. Crazy is when you start talking nonsense every day during gym. Crazy is when you convince the nearest adult that you're having a breakdown. Crazy is when you trip up the stairs, and laugh all the way back down them. Crazy is when you get up in the middle of the night and rearrange your entire room out of boredom. Crazy is when you can talk to yourself for twenty minutes about nothing at all. Crazy is when you tell everyone you are a figment of their imagination, then your little brother believes you for a whole week, then he figures it out that you're not (or are you?...) and then you change your mind and tell everyone you're Jimmy Page...and your little brother believes you. Crazy is when you argue with yourself and lose. Crazy is when you start crying and laughing at the same time for no apparent reason. Crazy is when you try to stamp your foot on the ground dramatically and end up stubbing your toe. Crazy is if you laugh at Obi-Wan Kenobi's accent!! Crazy is when you can do persoality 360s!! Crazy is when you feel someone pull your hair and turn and yell at your best friend only for her to point out to you that you did it to yourself.(Yes...I really did this)Crazy is when you freak out when someone mentions Star Wars!! Crazy is when you talk to action figures of your favorite tv characters and mourn them if they break!!! Crazy is when you imitate Master Yoda using slices of cut bread for your ears!!! Crazy is when you tell everyone that you are Padmé Amidala's twin sister, and your little brother believes you!!! Crazy is when you dress as a Jedi and bring your lightsaber to school and use it to threaten people with (especially when they belive you!)!!! If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raaped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?
If you believe in God and Jesus Christ his Son
then copy and paste this in your profile.
Try Not to Cry
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Please if you would,
If you pass this on,
Maybe people will cry,
Just keep this in your heart,
For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".
Now you have 2 choices,
1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
Its ok to cry, I cried, so can you
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
If you're against abortion, re-post this
Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...
He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...
He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...
He had no army, yet kings feared him...
He won no military battles, yet he conquered the World...
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today
Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us...
If you believe in God and Jesus Christ his Son
then copy and paste this in your profile
If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...
" If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."
I love being different. I love being abnormal. I like standing out from the crowd and following my own music. Everyone has their own music. If you know your music and follow it, copy and paste this into your own profile!
A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, THAT WAS AWESOME , LETS DO IT AGAIN!!
Friends will ask you why you are crying but best friends already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry.
She's my best friend, break her heart and I'll break your face!
A best friend is the one who can look at you with the biggest smile on your face and still knows something's wrong.
A friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
Friends will always be like "Well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days."
Inside jokes midnight calls crazy nights = Best friends
A friend would call you a retard but a best friend would call you one and act like one with you.
A best friend is a girl you can call in the middle of the night and say you killed someone and she would say "where should we hide the body?"
Friends are Gods way of apologizing for our families
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile.
You may be obsessed with Star Wars if...
... your favorite book of the Bible is 'Luke.'
... you refer to children as 'younglings,' elevators as 'turbolifts,' and bathrooms as 'refreshers.'
... you have looked for Ewoks when entering a wooded area.
... you address your teachers as "Master."
... I you have attempted to use a glowstick as a miniature weapon.
... when an object was out of your reach, you have extended your hand toward it and expected it to come to you.
... you wave you hand in front of you to open automatic doors.
... you have quoted lines from the Star Wars movies unintentionally.
... you have ever attempted to perform a jung ma.
... you even know what a jung ma is.
... you have ever been surprised to open a refrigerator and find that the milk is not blue.
... you know how to write in Aurebesh.
... you have ever insulted someone by calling them 'sleemo.'
... you have painted or drawn a picture in which there are at least two suns in the sky.
... you understand any of this.
This is all for now!
TRY NOT TO CRY:
I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.
The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.
She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'
His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'
'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''
'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'
Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''
'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
'My mommy loves white roses.'
A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.
I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.
Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.
And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:
1) Repost this message, or
Hi! I'm Leoni Liponscovi (not my real name by the way), and here's a little bit about me: I love reading on this site, Warrior Cats, Lionboy, The Wormling, Redwall, The Door Within trilogy, Star Wars, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, playing on my XBOX 360 or Nintendo DSi XL, skateboarding, bycicling, scootering, Pokemon, nature, imagining, dancing, martial arts, a lot of computer games, a lot of other online games, cats, dogs, basically all animals escept spiders (don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to offend anyone if you like spiders, it's just my personal opinion), gardening, writing, talking (I can jaber on and on sometimes), some stuff on TV, reading, I'm a Christian, I'm pretty friendly, I try to be open-minded, and my IQ is 130 or more. I make up a lot of words in my stories, and will always have an explanation for them (though maybe not if their names). :-] :-] :-]
By the way, my family name is Corse. The Decourcey family, to be exact. I'm related to Charlemagne (pronounced; : Carolus Magnus or Karolus Magnus, meaning Charles the Great). I'm sure at least one person reading this has read about him in history if you havn't, just google his name if you want to. I'm also related to John Decourcey, whose strength was legendary. You can read about him in The Prince and the pauper by Mark Twain, or just google his name. The Decourcey family is gonormous, we came to America from Ireland, where we built at least two castles, we went to Ireland from England, England from France, and France from Germany, Germany from Scandinavia, and before Scandinavia, probably Vikings, though i'm not certain.
Can anyone send me a PM telling me a native american cherokee language translation for "the tornado with ice, fire, water, wind, lightning, gold, silver, diamond, ruby, sapphire, emerald, and Great Sicamore trees captured in it raging near a waterfall of fire in the midst of a thunder storm" as a name?
Unsafe External Link