Hey Everybody, although I've been an avid fanfiction reader since November of 2005, this is the first time I've made an account. I don't post stories often but when I do know that I put a lot of time and effort into making them the best I could. Also note that my stories will almost always contain non-sexual spanking, so if that's not your thing, then please don't bother reading or flaming me. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or comments. I always enjoy hearing from fellow writers and readers!

MY STORIES:

Drunken Consequences: Complete. Basically a father/daughter Bella/Carlisle discipline story. I've only read three of these types of fics, so I thought I'd give it a try. Bella basically decides to be reckless and attend a college party, getting drunk in the process. Daddy C is not pleased when he has to pick her up from the police station and makes his displeasure known. Got a lot of good father/daughter fluff, so please take a look.

Insomnia: Complete. This story is about Bella suffering from nightmares that cause her to doubt her place in the Cullen family. She doesn't take care of herself and almost gets killed. This is when Daddy C has to step in and pick up the pieces. Lots of father/daughter fluff. Focused more on the hurt/comfort aspect, than discipline, so it's a got a bit of a different feel than my previous story. Hope you enjoy!

Fathers and Sons: Edward: Complete. Finally, after several months I've finished this story. This is about the first time Edward gets spanked by Carlisle, and how their relationship changes to father and son. Focuses a little more on Carlisle, and how he reacts to spanking Edward. Hope you enjoy!!

Sleepless Nights (HP): Complete. Basically a trio friendship piece. The trio are at Shell Cottage and one night they can't sleep. While comforting each other they remember one night of their first year.

Fathers and Daughters: Rosalie: Complete: This one is about Rosalie's first time getting spanked. Takes place a year and a half after she's been turned and she's been a total bitch to everyone. One day though, things go crazy and she takes it too far and our favorite vampire dad decides enough is enough.

Fathers and Sons: Emmett: Complete: Third in my first time series. In this one Emmett is grounded for causing some mischief. Fed up with having so many rules, he breaks his grounding. When Carlisle catches up with him things go downhill really quickly and Emmett lands himself in a world of hurt.

Cullen Paranormal Society: Complete: This is a scary story dealing with the Cullen kids, including vampire Bella going on a ghost hunt at a local sanatorium.

The Vision: Complete: One shot concerning Alice's vision of the battle in BD part 2. She is haunted by what she has seen, so Carlisle steps up to help her overcome her guilt and sorrow. Father/Daughter fic. Not related to any other of my stories.

Fathers and Sons: Jasper: Complete: Jasper wallows in self-pity as he believes he is only a burden to the family, but the more he wallows the shorter his temper becomes until he lashes out one day at the wrong person. Carlisle is then forced to show his son how wrong he has been.

Drunken Consequences: Alternate Version: Complete So, this went from a rewrite to a complete alternate version. I'm keeping the same premise, but aside from that there will be major changes. Will explore Carlisle/Bella developing relationship more than the original.

The Pastor's Son: Update: Actively working on. Just starting chapter 11. Things took a bit of a surprising turn at the end of Chapter 10 so I estimate total chapters now to be at 14. This is an Esme spanking Carlisle fic.

Fathers and Daughters: Alice: Update: In the planning process. Will not start working on it until The Pastor's Son is done with. This is the final installment of the Fathers and Sons/Daughters series. Basic summary so far is Alice abuses her gift and lies to her father.

You know you're a 90's kid if...

You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember Ring Pops.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies
Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
Carebears
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the play place.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the My Space frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walk mans.
When game boy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket.
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!

Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Frito's! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

An Interesting Poem

Ladies and Gentlemen, skinny and stout,
I'll tell you a tale I know nothing about;
The Admission is free, so pay at the door,
Now pull up a chair and sit on the floor.

One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight;
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.

A blind man came to watch fair play,
A mute man came to shout "Horray!"
A deaf policeman heard the noise and
Came and killed those two dead boys.

He lived on the corner in the middle of the block,
In a two-story house on a vacant lot;
A man with no legs came walking by,
and kicked the lawman in his thigh.

He crashed through a wall without making a sound,
into a dry creek and suddenly drowned;
The long black hearse came to cart him away,
But he ran for his life and is still gone today.

I watched from the corner of the big round table,
The only eyewitness to facts of my fable;
But if you doubt my lies are true,
Just ask the blind man, he saw it too.