Hey fellow Fanfiction fans. Dorky greetings aside, I'd like to first of all thank you for checking out my profile. YOU ARE AWESOME!!!! I promise to upload chapters as often as possible, but if I start to get a bit slow don't be afraid to give me a good kick in the but. Digitally of course. I don't like getting kicked by random strangers at my own home, or anywhere else for that matter. That is not fun. Not at all. Anywho, feel free to read and review anytime! =)

Here are some facts about yours truly

1. I love animals

2. Anyone who tries to put me down will find themselves six feet under. (pun INTENDED)

3. I LOATHE overly sappy, dramatic love moments. (No I am not a pessimist, I am a realist, there's a difference. Sorta.)

4. I basically run on sugar so... NO TOUCHY ME SWEETS!!!!

5. I luvers comedy/romance. IT IS DA BOMB!!! (But Remember rule #3! REMEMBER THE RULE!!!!)

this ish bunny!!!

...(\_/)...(\_/)..(\_/)...(\_/)...
...(o.o)...(e.e)..(^^)...(A A)...
.Q(v v)Q(o o)Q(>

15 Things to do when you're in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay-a-way.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look."

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

15.Grab alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

If you ever killed a joke, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you thing reading FanFiction stories is one heck of a great time, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever eaten something, and you didn't even know what it was, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished that dragons exist in our time, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR:

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral/Sergent Deathcas.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it

Now for Brookie's Zen of life rules ( and blackcat's too!!)

(no I did not create this, Though I wish I had because this is GENIUS! - Black Cat)

1.Do not walk behind me for i shall not lead. Do not walk ahead of me for i shall not follow. don't walk besides me either. just leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn... so if you're going to steal your neighbor's news paper thats the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember, you're unique... just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares you're alive, try missing a couple car payments.

8.before criticizing someone walk a mile in their shoes. that way when you criticize them you're a mile away, And you have their shoes.

9. If first you don't succeed, sky diving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish he'll eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he'll sit and drink beer all day.

11. if you lend someone a 20 and you never see them again, you probably made a wise investment.

12. Tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. everyone's normal... until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you're not learning much when your lips are moving.

20. Experiece is not something you get untill AFTER you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. NEVER, under ANY circumstance, are you to EVER, allowed to take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

You know you live in the 21st century when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or myspace

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

And now for some FUNNY QUOTES!!! (if you like, copy and paste on YOUR profile. If you don't like, just shut up I don't even care.)

"Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before."--Mae West

"A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."--Herm Albright.

"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."--one pissed off fellow

"I stopped fighting my dark side; we're on the same side now."--every teenager in the world

"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance?"--your role model

"The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory."--That smart guy

"I didn't do it." "Then why are you laughing?" "Because whoever did it is a frigging genius!"

"I can only be nice to one person everyday. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good either."--me to my annoying ex

"When life gives you lemons, freak them out and make orange juice and have them wonder how the hell you did it."

"I may look calm, but in my head i've killed you three times."

"I'm sorry problem, is there an officer?"

"Officer, I swear to drunk i'm not god!"

Immature: A word a boring person uses to describe a fun person :P

"SHUT UP!! I'M TRYING TO TELL A STORYY...Anyway..."

"Because I can!" :D

"Haha! Wait, what?"

"Do you think I'm Made Of Money?" "Isn't that what MOM stands for?"

Paraprosdokian: Something or other that comedians use, I wasn't really listening... AND YOU'LL SEE WHY!!!!

"I asked god for a bike, god didn't give me one so I instead stole a bike and asked god for forgiveness."

"Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down a street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they're sexy."

"Going to church doesn't make you a christian like standing in a garage doesn't make you a car."

"Always borrow money from a pessimist; they won't expect to get it back, muchless recieve interest."

"I always thought my goal in life was to have a career, now I realize my goal in life was to recieve paychecks."

"Dolphins are so smart: they've trained humans to stand real close to the water and feed them fish."

"It's funny how my volume of screaming is the same whether I'm being eaten by a shark or some seaweed touched my foot."

"The last thing I want to do is hurt you... but it's still on the list."

"If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong."

"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting a tomato in a fruit salad."

"We really never grow up, we only learn how to act in public."

"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research."

"How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, yet it takes a whole freakin' box to start a campfire?"

"Some people are like slinkies... not really good for anything yet you still smile when they tumble down stares."

"I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you."

"Why do people believe you when you say there are billions of stars in the universe yet still need to check when you say somethings covered in wet paint?"

"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."

"The voices in my head may not be real but they have some good ideas."

"A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and make you look forward to the trip."

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."

"There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away."

"I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure."

"I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a piece of lime, and a shot of tequila."

"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target."

"Nostalgia isn't what it used to be."

"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."

secret language of girls *

flippy hair = automatically hot
hey can we talk for a sec? = i'm confronting you about something
and i was like... = i said
period at the end of sentences = i'm pissed at you
haha it's fine = i'm too mature to keep bitching about it but i will never forgive you for this
uh okay = what the f●●k did you just say to me ?!
wait what = i know what you said but i'm giving you a chance to change it so i won't smack you
stop, that's so mean = you just said something mean about my friend but i'm not gonna say anything
haha cool = stop bragging...
or that's cool too = why did you just purposely do what i asked you not to
i miss you = hey let's hangout maybe?
wee needdaa haangg ouutt ! = i'm saying this to be friendly but it's never gonna happen
i have to go to bathroom = come with me. right. now.
do you have extra... um *widens eyes* = i need a tampon/pad.
that's soo mean = i may agree but i feel a little bad.
she's such a b●tch = how dare she be mean!!
i'm just tired or i'm fine = i want you to pressure me into telling you because I'm secretly dying to let it out
i don't care = it's killing me inside

16 ways to maintain a Healthy level of insanity.

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their Caffeine addictions, switch to expresso.
6. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance to the Prophecy".
7. Don't use any punctuation.
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Specify that your drive thru order is "To Go"
10. Sing Along at the Opera
11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON I WON!!"
14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"
15. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
16. Send this to your friends to make them smile, It's called therapy.

More Genius, Because We're Worth It!!

4. "Soldier: Sir, We're surrounded!
Major: Excellent, we can attack in any direction.
5. There is no age limit for stupidity
6. Heyes: The only thing that you have to earn in life is love. Everything else you can steal."
Kid: Heyes, I didn't know you were a poet."
Heyes: I'm not, I stole it."
7. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabirdge Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can stlil raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed tihs, cpoy it itno yuor sgianture too!
8. I have a shirt that says, "When I SNAP, You'll be the first to go!" But don't worry about it. I already buried the body.
9. Mum: *says something obvious*
Me: *turns to brother* Mum says some really facepalm worthy things these days.
Mum: whats facepalming?
Me: *facepalms*
10. When does cutting off someone's head mean anything?
If anything it means shit just got real
11. "Did you enjoy it? Your first murder? Of course you did. And why shouldn't it feel good? It does to God. Why, only last week in Texas, he dropped a church roof on the heads of 34 of his worshippers, just as they were groveling for him. He wouldn't begrudge you for one Journalist." - Hannibal Lecter
12. Geeze, what's got you in such a bad mood? Did you finally see yourself in the mirror?
13. You're about as subtle as a rock to the face
14. How do you get an Emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope!
15. ~We're Best Friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry.
You're hurt, I’m hurt. You jump of a bridge, damn, I’m gonna miss you~
16. Just remember: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.
17. Gohon: don’t kill me!
Nappa: just let me kill you. Everyone important to you is dead anyways.
Krillin: hey! I’m still alive!
Nappa: yep, everyone important.
18. In the beginning god created the universe, the heavens, the earth and everything in it…
And then all hell broke loose.
19. In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.
20. I am captain of TheMythicLegion. We are so mythical you wouldn't believe us even if we told you.
21. "He's doing fine, although peanut butter is a strange battle cry." ~Poseidon
22. 4 out of 3 people are bad at fractions.
23. There are three types of people: Those who can count, and those who can't
24. “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally."-- W.C. Fields
25. "Progress is made by lazy people looking for easier ways to do things"
26. “Bumblebee, do you have cancer? It’s always like that in Korean dramas…”
27. calling you an idiot is an insult to idiots everywhere
28. “I’ve got a bad feeling. The kind you get when your about to watch a friend go skipping of a cliff”
29. The wheel is turning but the hamsters dead.
30. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
31. Rectum? ... Nearly Killed'em!!!
32. "I'd give you a shovel, but you're digging your own grave well enough without one”
33. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway
34. What two words on a sign are guaranteed to terrify every person who sees it? “Student driver”.
35. Two magical words that fill a crowd with joy: “Open bar.”
36. "Nearly all of you need an English textbook upside your head."
37. Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
38. I could've eaten Alphabets and crapped out a better essay!!
39. The only bummer about the world ending is that you can't turn to the person next to you and say "WOW! Did you see THAT?!!"
40. After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. "No hablo ingles."
41. 'a smart man knows when to cut and run’
42. It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
43. I don't have a short attention spa- Hey look! A duck!
44. Yeah, well my astronomy teacher told me Pluto was a planet and I didn’t think that would change either…
45. Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
46. Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
47. Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
48. Never tell people how to do things: Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.
49. If there were no schools to take the children away from home, insane asylums would be filled with mothers.
50. Men are 44 percent muscle, 53 percent fat and 3 percent brain. This explains everything.
51. Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.
52. Children seldom misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said
53. Evil exists, I know that, and its name is Boredom, and ministers are the guiltiest crew of all
54. Okay, this is stupid, childish and dangerous…we start on 3.
55. Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare.
56. If I'm the only hope for the future we are so screwed.
57. when all else fails blow shit up