Mostly Harmless III
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since: 08-20-02, id: 255978, Profile Updated: 11-30-11
country: USA
Author has written 51 stories for Pirates of the Caribbean, Trigun, Harry Potter, Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy VII, Batman, Supernatural, Superman, Xenogears, Merlin, and Green Arrow.

:Marginally Deranged:

:Mostly Harmless:

11/30/11

I am starting a "Fic Amnesty" project. I have so many fics that I have pulled down because they were of poor quality. I have even more that I just never finished. I have a ton that just too short to be considered fics at all. And so, I say, "Be gone, fics! Be gone!" I am starting to upload these fics, give them some air, if you will, because they have been stinking up my hard drive for YEARS. I hope you enjoy them, or at least get a laugh out of some of them. I mean, some of these are, literally, about ten years old and it shows. That's hilarious. Fics that are part of the Fic Amnesty are labeled with "Fic Amnesty" before the actual title. If you enjoy any of them or have a comment, question, or suggestion, please drop me a message or send a review. I would love to hear what people have to say about the skeletons in my closet. (^_^)

6/5/2011

Well...uploading old smut is better than not uploading smut at all. I guess...? I just posted "On the Danger of Impulse Buys" which was maybe mostly finished two years ago, but just sat on my hard drive. I probably wanted to spare the universe the pain that is the smut of this thing. It's pretty pointless, but I get a tickle out of it. I seem to have an endless supply of short, kinky FF8 fics I've written that I've never finished and uploaded. Some of them I don't remember writing. I also have 15,000 words of an epic Batman and Superman slash fic that I started in 2008 that I don't know how I intended to end. Don't get me started on the next chapter of "Transcripts," which, according to my computer, was created on April 7, 2009 and last updated on December 9, 2010. That's...sick. Like...who abandons a story 10 chapters in? In my defense, I have been crazy busy, but I do miss writing. I feel like I still have stories I want to tell. Ah, well. So, well...anyway, if you're reading this and are bored, drop me a line! I reply to messages, even if I can't seem to finish a fic. :)

1/3/2011

Happy New Year!

So, even though I haven't written in about a year and a half, um, I'm alive. That has to count for something.

Just uploaded a short and kinky FF8 story. I don't know why the first thing I'm able to write in a very long time is non-con incest in a fandom nobody reads for anymore, but I guess I can't complain. I'm lucky I could write at all.

Please send along all complaints about the stories I've abandoned. They make me feel nice and guilty. (^_^)


1. Before a Live Studio Audience » reviews
Lois Lane is a terrible boss. Network lackey Clark Kent has to film a TV show in Gotham, but he's stuck with Matches Malone. The worst. Detective. Ever. There's a killer on the loose and Clark keeps dreaming of flying. At least Matches' partner is sexy...
Crossover - Batman & Superman - Rated: T - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 12 - Words: 50,655 - Reviews: 84 - Updated: 1-29-13 - Published: 9-9-08 - Bruce W./Batman
2. Through the Noble Prowess of Himself reviews
Arthur had given them hope. Arthur had been the better world they fought for. Warnings: Violence, some language, adult themes.
Merlin - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,079 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 7-31-12 - Arthur & Merlin - Complete
3. Fic Amnesty: General Lawlessness reviews
Will, Jack, a piccolo, a stuffed rabbit, and a garter belt. A secret, grand adventure that neither man really remembers. Slash. Will/Jack. Adult themes.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,474 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 1-11-12 - Will T. & Capt. Jack Sparrow - Complete
4. Fic Amnesty: Control
Kahran Ramsus wants to be in control. He needs it. Badly. Kahr/Hyuga one-sided . Slash, mentions of non-con and BDSM. Adult themes and language. Disturbing imagery. Not-beta read. Part of my fic amnesty project.
Xenogears - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,598 - Published: 11-30-11 - K. Ramsus & Citan U. - Complete
5. Fic Amnesty: Innocent Tea and Sinful Rum reviews
Will would take the taste of Jack's sin over Elizabeth's innocence any day. Will/Jack, Will/Elizabeth. Slash, adult situations, angst, not beta-read. Uploaded as part of my fic amnesty.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,956 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 11-29-11 - Will T. & Capt. Jack Sparrow - Complete
6. Fic Amnesty: Every Wicked Thought reviews
Will doesn't take what he should. Slashy. Will/Jack. Set just after the first movie. Not beta-read. An oldie I'm re-uploading for giggles. Enjoy.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 409 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11-29-11 - Will T. & Capt. Jack Sparrow - Complete
7. Fic Amnesty: Winning
More than anything, Cloud wanted praise. Zack/Sephiroth implied . Cloud/Sephiroth one-sided . Violence, slash themes, adult situations, angsty, not beta-read. This is a very old fic, but I'm uploading it once again for giggles.
Final Fantasy VII - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,681 - Published: 11-29-11 - Cloud S. & Sephiroth - Complete
8. Fic Amnesty: Coffee and Donuts reviews
It was coffee and donuts, greetings all over again. And though nothing had changed, nothing was quite right either. Slashy. Wolfwood/Vash. This is a very old fic. I'm uploading it again for giggles.
Trigun - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,674 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 11-29-11 - Vash & Wolfwood - Complete
9. Fic Amnesty: Tough Choice reviews
Wolfwood takes the day off and Vash has sweet dreams. AU fluff, PWP, slash. OOC. Vash/Wolfwood. This is a very old story.
Trigun - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,251 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11-29-11 - Vash & Wolfwood - Complete
10. Fic Amnesty: Marked reviews
The world is safe, but Squall is still marked. Zell/Squall. Slash, fluff, adult situations, not beta-read. This is an oldie I am uploading again to give it some air. It was starting to smell on my hard drive. Ahem.
Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,284 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11-29-11 - Squall L. & Zell D. - Complete
11. Fic Amnesty: Unwanted of God
Krelian at the end of everything. A very short story set at the end of Xenogears. Spoilers.
Xenogears - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 174 - Published: 11-29-11 - Krelian - Complete
12. And Kiss your Sassafras reviews
Lovin' it up 'til I hit the ground...Oliver Queen is spontaneous and impulsive. Clark gets dragged along for a ride. Ahem. Slash, PWP, adult situations. ClarkxOliver.
Crossover - Superman & Green Arrow - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 382 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11-29-11 - Complete
13. Fic Amnesty: Improvise reviews
Sirius isn't young anymore. Harry compromises. HarryxSirius. Slash, smut, PWP, adult content, adult language. Not beta-read.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 691 - Reviews: 16 - Published: 11-29-11 - Harry P. & Sirius B. - Complete
14. A Uniform Intermittent Rotary Motion reviews
A powerless Clark Kent falls into bed with Bruce Wayne. Slash Bruce x Clark , PWP, sexual content, adult language.
Crossover - Batman & Superman - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,151 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 9-18-11 - Bruce W./Batman - Complete
15. On the Danger of Impulse Buys reviews
Laguna misses Squall. A lot. The toy he buys to keep him company while Squall is away doesn't quite FIT the bill. Ahem. Can connect to the "Domestic" story line, but can also stand alone. Incest, AU, OOC, PWP smut, not beta-read.
Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,041 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 6-5-11 - Laguna L. & Squall L. - Complete
16. There is Little Danger reviews
Bruce and Clark are trapped in an elevator on New Year's Eve. What happens when the clock strikes midnight? SLASH, fluff.
Crossover - Batman & Superman - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,600 - Reviews: 28 - Published: 1-12-11 - Bruce W./Batman - Complete
17. A Quiet Division of Guilt reviews
Squall decided long ago what he wanted. What Laguna wants doesn't matter. AU, non-con, incest.
Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,474 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 1-3-11 - Squall L. & Laguna L. - Complete
18. Domestic » reviews
Squall and Laguna have sex on every piece of furniture in the house. This chapter: a celebration leads to kinky sex against against a couch. Mirrors are involved. Dirty talk is exchanged. INCEST, PWP, OOC, AU.
Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,651 - Reviews: 18 - Updated: 7-4-10 - Published: 10-1-06 - Laguna L. & Squall L.
19. You've Got to Change Your Evil Ways Baby reviews
Superman is visited by three ghosts. They've made a terrible mistake. Comedy, crack fic! Not beta-read.
Superman - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,769 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 3-20-09 - Complete
20. Wayward Sons reviews
Crossover. A test for the experiment. A challenge from the Gods. A battle royale between two video game badasses. Sephiroth vs. Kratos. 'Nuff said. Violence, language. Written in an hour and not beta-read.
Final Fantasy VII - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,771 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 3-18-09 - Sephiroth - Complete
21. Hubris reviews
Clark Kent is a student just trying to finish his dissertation. His maddeningly arrogant and handsome jerk of a noisy upstairs neighbor isn't helping things. Sparks and furniture fly when Clark meets one Bruce Wayne. AU, slash, lemon. Based on "Beowulf."
Batman - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 20,857 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 3-15-09 - Bruce W./Batman & Barbara G.
22. Sometimes You Just Have to Punch Superman reviews
A dangerous parasite plus the most powerful man on earth. You do the math. Not a comedy, but with funny bits. Warnings: Violence and language. Characters: Batman, Superman, Green Arrow, Black Canary, Flash, Wonder Woman, Hawkman
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,312 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 2-27-09 - Bruce W./Batman - Complete
23. Four Seasons reviews
Four angsty drabbles, one for each season of the show. Some spoilers. Adult language.
Supernatural - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 690 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2-7-09 - Dean W. & Sam W. - Complete
24. Semi Permanent Couplings reviews
Two strangers meet on a train, but when it's stalled because of the weather, will they find more than just company for the night? SLASH, Clark x Bruce. Warnings: PWP smut, adult language and situations, AU, OOC.
Batman - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,864 - Reviews: 20 - Published: 1-29-09 - Bruce W./Batman - Complete
25. Up on the House Top Thud, Thud, Thud reviews
Clark Kent, universe-traveling journalist, gets to interview Santa Claus. An incredibly hot, tank-driving, vigilante Santa. Who knows kung-fu. They spend a white Christmas together and things get steamy. AU. SLASH. Clark x Bruce
Batman - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 20,658 - Reviews: 18 - Published: 12-22-08 - Bruce W./Batman & Alfred P. - Complete
26. Shockwave Pulsar reviews
Gen. Quistis at the Final Battle. The things that really matter at the End of Time. SPOILERS. Angst. re-post
Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,633 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 12-2-08 - Quistis T. & Squall L. - Complete
27. Relationships for Dummies » reviews
SLASH Laguna Loire does things by the book. A pesky relationship with his son isn't going to get this president down. Quite the opposite, actually. Spoilers, INCEST, angst. You have been warned. Sequel to "Atmosphere" but can be read independently.
Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 15,263 - Reviews: 31 - Updated: 12-2-08 - Published: 3-11-06 - Laguna L. & Squall L.
28. Like the Next Will Never Come reviews
We've all gotta go. Dean plans on doing it with a smile.
Supernatural - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,031 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9-9-08 - Dean W. & Sam W.
29. Ghosts reviews
Wayne Manor is haunted. Clark doesn't mind. Clark/Bruce. Some language, creepiness. Not beta-read.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,262 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 6-8-08 - Bruce W./Batman & Timothy D./Red Robin - Complete
30. Old School reviews
Batman and Superman fight to the death to save their cities from giant pandas and lime Jell-O! Whisky Tango Foxtrot...? Comedy with explosions, just the way you like it. Slash. Not beta-read. Violence, adult language.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,572 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 5-30-08 - Bruce W./Batman - Complete
31. Porridge reviews
If there was no Batman, he would just have to create him. No matter what the cost. Batman/Superman SLASH. Future-fic. Dark with hints of humor.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 20,318 - Reviews: 24 - Published: 5-6-08 - Bruce W./Batman & Jason T./Red Hood - Complete
32. Ten Things that Go Boom reviews
It's Christmas in Metropolis and a new supervillain strikes! Can Superman and Batman disarm the bomb and manage romance at the same time? And what IS the mysterious power of Mayo? Adult themes, language, silliness. I own nothing.
Batman - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,206 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 12-19-07 - Bruce W./Batman - Complete
33. needful » reviews
A twisted serial killer chooses a new play toy: the detective in charge of his case. Detective Nicholas D. Wolfwood hunts the killer, but his own dark past surfaces to haunt him. SLASH, AU, adult themes, sexual content, strong language.
Trigun - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 278,777 - Reviews: 320 - Updated: 8-25-07 - Published: 4-26-05 - Complete
34. Spoiled reviews
Bruce always gives him what he asks for. Slash. Sex, violence, strong language, not betaread.
Batman - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 987 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 7-17-07 - Bruce W./Batman & Jason T./Red Hood - Complete
35. Inflexible reviews
Bruce without his cowl always made him stare because it was half of everything and the closest thing to right. Jason Todd finally wins. Preslash. Language, violence. Not betaread.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 476 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 7-17-07 - Jason T./Red Hood & Bruce W./Batman - Complete
36. Established reviews
Batman and Superman have an established relationship only in the sense that they're not together at all. Throw in an invincible machine army and things get really confusing. SLASH.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,835 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 4-2-07 - Bruce W./Batman
37. Wealth and Taste reviews
Sometimes jealousy, blood, and the weight of the centuries mean more than love. Laguna and Squall are torn apart by a mysterious man, determined to have what he wants at any cost. And what he wants is Laguna, to himself, for eternity. Incest, slash, AU.
Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 43,079 - Reviews: 21 - Published: 11-8-06 - Laguna L. & Squall L. - Complete
38. Protect Me From What I Want reviews
Wayne Manor has windows of every shape, size and dimension. The ones on Bruce's windows just so happen to be larger than the rest. Tonight, the curtains aren't drawn. Clark and Bruce never can seem to get things right. SLASH.
Batman - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,482 - Reviews: 20 - Published: 9-2-06 - Bruce W./Batman - Complete
39. Say Yes reviews
Snape always has the answers. Harry X Snape. Slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 283 - Reviews: 20 - Published: 7-6-06 - Severus S. & Harry P. - Complete
40. Optional reviews
He doesn't have to be perfect. Fact is, the only thing he has to do is stay a cowboy and die. Everything else is optional. Quistis X Irvine? Gen? You tell me.
Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 792 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 3-31-06 - Irvine K. & Quistis T. - Complete
41. Destroying Christmas reviews
Knives is going to destroy the world. And Christmas, too. The minute romance gets out of the way, he's whipping out the Doomsday Device. No, seriously. Don't you dare try to stop him. AU, SLASH, OOC.
Trigun - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,524 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 12-26-05
42. Proof reviews
If Sephiroth wanted to know, to be sure, Cloud would oblige him. In every way. YAOI. SxC.
Final Fantasy VII - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,525 - Reviews: 25 - Published: 3-24-05 - Cloud S. & Sephiroth - Complete
43. Atmosphere reviews
SLASH. Time has a little accident and Fate takes advantage of the situation. Only problem is that Squall and Laguna get caught up in her game. Incest.
Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,832 - Reviews: 19 - Published: 3-9-05 - Laguna L. & Squall L.
44. What Remains reviews
HPxSS. Once passion dies, you're left with what remains. And sometimes, that's not much at all. An angsty little ficlet about holding on when letting go would be the lesser evil.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,377 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 10-21-04 - Severus S. & Harry P. - Complete
45. Writer's Block reviews
Crossover.Kinda.Laguna Loire from FF8 has to write a PWP Trigun smut story before deadline to keep from starving to death. How hard could it be? The answer? Very, very hard. Typos and cliches abound in this comedy fic written in praise of all things smut.
Trigun - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,742 - Reviews: 31 - Published: 10-6-04
46. Rust reviews
Apples, the metal grid, and a dose of pain to make the pleasure better. How can Knives deal with a less than perfect brother? SLASH, INCEST, SPOILERS. Darkfic. Not for the easily squicked.
Trigun - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,615 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 6-30-04 - Complete
47. Not Tired Yet reviews
[yaoi] WolfwoodxMidvalley. Midvalley can't sleep and Wolfwood needs music, and maybe something else. In homage to music and nighttime.
Trigun - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,023 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 3-25-04 - Complete
48. Paradise reviews
[Mangaverse, very short] Knives does indeed create paradise, and it's almost perfect. Almost...
Trigun - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 377 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 1-6-04 - Complete
49. Angel's Song reviews
[YAOI] It doesn't snow on Gunsmoke, yet Wolfwood has dreams of snow and of Vash. Then an unexpected present makes his dreams come true. A Christmas fic, or my best attempt.
Trigun - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,661 - Reviews: 23 - Published: 12-18-03 - Complete
50. Chocolate reviews
[Yaoi] Just in time for Halloween! Wolfwood has some self control issues when it comes to Vash and Chocolate. His mind is in the gutter and he might pull Vash along for the ride! OOC, very suggestive, very bad language.
Trigun - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,136 - Reviews: 31 - Published: 10-28-03 - Complete
51. Apples and Ash » reviews
Trading the taste of apples for ash, and one hell for another. Bootstrap Bill and living on after death. Captain Jack Sparrow and revenge. Short stories based on the film, not necessarily connected to each other.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,943 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 9-10-03 - Published: 7-20-03