This account has been a lie since the day it was first conceived. First of all, though I did write the stories posted here and did/do have the pets mentioned, I am not a female. I am a man. A gay man who, until recently, has been afraid that my career peers may discover my online identity. However, I have grownweary of pretending to be something I am not both online and in the real world. I may have to continue the act in real life but no longer shallI do so online. I am, now and forever more, known as Pirate Turner, and you may check out the stories my lover, Pirate Sparrow, and I write under Pirates Sparrow & Turner. We will also shortly begin posting our old fics there. If you are a fan of any of the shows I've written about previously or of Disney, Elvira, The Pirate Movie, Pirates of the Caribbean, Salem Saberhagen, Shrek, or even just Pirates in general, both I and he invite you to check us out at http://www.fanfiction.net/~PiratesSparrowandTurner. Farewell forever from this account, and thank you to all my past reviewers.