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Author has written 10 stories for Twilight, Hush, Hush, Darren Shan Saga/Cirque Du Freak, Chronicles of Vladimir Tod, Kingdom Hearts, Fallen, Bible, and Secret Life of the American Teenager.
Name: Elizabeth Faciane
Location: Wouldn't you like to know
Current Mood: Bored as hell
It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 muscles to flip someone off.
Roses are red, violets are blue, god made me pretty, what the fucking hell happened to you?
If you've ever talked to yourself put this in your profile.
If you burst out laughing during complete silence because of something that happened yesterday or last month, copy this into your profile
92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch or Holister said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you are one of the 8 who would be laughing their asses off
If u already lost ur sanity copy and paste this to ur profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy and paste this in your profile.
One day by the pool, some kid sticks his foot on my head, dunks me underwater, and says, "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here is some water for you!" I came back up and yelled, "KID! You could've drowned me!" And he says, "But, it's poetry!" So, I took my foot, stuck it on his head, dunked him under, and said, "The Oddessy, by Homer."
Note: The Oddessy is an epic poem, that is about a bagillion pages long... :3
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.
If you have sudden mood changes out of nowhere copy and paste this into your profile.
If you usually get glared at for being too hyper and saying stuff that doesn't make sense copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are guilty of doing a Brit
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
Check this out... Olny srmat poelpe can raed this. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.
Aoccdrnig to a rscheear
"When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand oranges."
"When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic."
"I think, therefore I get a headache."
"I smile because I have no idea what's going on."
"Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard, be evil."
"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."
"NATIONAL SARCASM SOCIETY: Like we need your support."
"Death is life's way of telling you you're fired."
"Suicide is your way of telling life you quit."
Your One and Only Wish
Do it one by one, don't look ahead!
1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.
2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, and yellow?
3. Your first initial?
4. Your month of birth?
5. Which color do you like more, black or white?
6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
7. Your favorite number?
8. Do you like California of Florida more?
9. Do you like the lake or ocean more?
10. Write down a wish (a realistic one.)
Are you done?
If so, scroll down
1. You are completely in love with this person.
2. If you choose:
3. If you're initial is:
4. If You were born in:
5. If you choose...
6. This person is your best friend.
7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.
8. If you choose...
9. If you choose...
10. This wish will come true only if you Re-post this bulletin in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday!
this is this cat
this is is cat
this is how cat
this is to cat
this is keep cat
this is a cat
this is retard cat
this is busy cat
this is for cat
this is forty cat
this is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on
This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
If you have a problem with it message me if you dare. Warning: what I say might (will) make you cry.
7 Ways to scare your roommates
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."
6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you’re hungry.
2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."
40 Things to do when your in Walmart! - UPDATED!!-
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15.Grab alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"
16. Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly when they take one.
17. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price.
18. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs.
19. Start a fish-stick fight.
20. Walk up to random people, give them bear hugs, and say very loudly that you missed them and they never really did get that dandruf shampoo you recommended.
21. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!"
22. Attempt to fly off a high shelf.
23. Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner."
24. Throw confetti on random people walking into the store.
25. Whisper "I know your 'little' secret" to people in the checkout lines.
26. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section.
27. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you away...to aisle eight..."
28. Ask the clerk to make a page saying "If there is an Edward in the store, Bella is looking for you at the main info desk". (this works b/c of fangirls...no offense)
29. See how many cans of frosting you can open and thoroughly lick without getting caught.
30. Go to a person with a shopping cart full of merchandise and demand a ride in the basket.
31. Practice your juggling with a few Grade-A eggs.
32. Squeeze the cream-filled doughnuts.
33. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back.
34. Bow to the display of T.Vs in the electronics section.
35. See if you can move the bottom can from the gigantic canned beet pyrami
36. Challenge people to duels in the back aisles with wrapping paper tubes.
37. Have a conversation with yourself loud enough so that people in the other aisles can hear you.
38. Throw things over one aisle into another one.
39. Mark out price tags with a sharpie
40. Hit some random Asain dude in the ass with a Yaoi paddle.
Bad Things to Hear on an Airplane Intercom
1. This is your captain speaking and I don't feel that life is worth living anymore
2. We're cruising at an altitude of... Ah hell I don't know
3. Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button does?
4. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Just kidding.
5. Would the fight attendant bring me a martini? And keep 'em comin'
6. This is... uh... This is... uh... your... Hmm, I seem to have lost my memory...
7. Passengers on the left side of the plane -- does that engine sound funny to you?
8. Good God Steve! We’re going to crash! Oops -- is this intercom on?
9. We'll be on the ground in ten minutes. One way or another...
10. This is your captain speaking: I'm depressed, suicidal, and I'm taking you all with me. By the way, I've already killed the co-captain.
11. Dammit, Steve! You're the father of my baby! You know what? I'm-- AAAAHHH!! OH GOD, I'M HAVING THE BABY!! DAMN YOU, STEVE!! IF I'M GONNA HAVE THIS BABY NOW, YOU'RE GONNA FEEL THIS PAIN WITH ME!! Oh shit... is the intercom actually on?
12. This is your captain spreaking: we're about to land, but... uh... does anybody know how? I was kinda weak on that in piloting school...
-If a stranger offers you a ride, only go with him if he has candy.
-BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom.
-Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS
Be nice to losers. one day they might be cool!
- There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
- Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
- I'm not crazy- I'm psychotic . . . There's a difference!
- There's nothing that can't be fixed with: duct tape, chocolate, or by running it over.
- My attention span is just short enough to annoy you and ignore you all at the same time.
- Dream as if you’ll live forever… Live as if you die today
- Don't get mad; get sadistic.
Dont worry, we'll get threw this with inexpensive therapy, bubble wrap, and chocolate.
- Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Common sense is the enemy of comedy.
- Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART.
- My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog thinks I am.
- Knowledge is power; power is the root of all-evil. Therefore studying is evil.
- I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it!
- You know what?! Earth sucks, I’m going home.
- Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity.
- If you laugh I will laugh. If you cry I will cry and if you jump out a window...I will laugh.
- your a great friend but if the zombies come I'm tripping you.
- Why don't you slip into something more comfortable; like a coma?
- What is this 'kindness' you speak of?
- Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking.
- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
- You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
- Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
- The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
- He who laughs last didn't get it.
- When there's a will, I want to be in it.
-Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.
-The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
- When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
- Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
Being weird is like being normal, only better!!
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me!!
Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.
Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs
Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.
One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car.'
' I am not crazy! U know what! The voices don't like u anymore!'
Death is life’s way of saying you’ve been fired.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask directions.
It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.
I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight.
The trouble with life is there's no background music
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Stupid kills, unfortunately not fast enough.
They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?
' The only thing standing between me and total happiness is reality.'
My night in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.
God made man, knew he could do better, and made woman.
At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote.
I was about to conquer the world but then I got distracted by something shiny
They laugh because we're losers...We laugh because they just figured it out.
Weather Forecast for tonight: darksometimes your knight in shining armor is really a retard in tin foil
Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.
'Everyday I think people can't get any stupider. Everyday I'm proven horribly wrong.'
Don't follow in my footsteps...I walk into walls.
"You're not drunk until you have to hold onto the grass to keep from falling off the Earth."
ok before i go, heres a little something for you all to try out...
say the following to yourselves out loud, nice and slow:
i am we todd it
sofa king we todd it
got the joke yet?
(patronising pat on the head)
now check out this rainbow:
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.
REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):
1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)
2. Meet the recruitment bunny!
3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!
4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me people: MWA HAHAHAHA *cough* *cough!*
5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guy!
6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life
7. Money Money Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?
8. (Reason I joined) Does there have to be a reason? The dark side is fun! -Flails arms
ch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile
If you hang out with the guys even though you're a girl, copy and paste!
If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination, copy and paste here.
If you, or someone you know, has ever stolen candy from little kids, post this on you profile
ish, Irish, Scottish, Australian, Southern accent or Elvis impression, copy this in your profile
"Mind over matter. If you don't mind; it doesn't matter.
"Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift, that is why it is called Present."
"Oh, don't worry, sweetie, everone's insane...they just don't know it yet.."
If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away then remembered, copy this into your profile.
If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
A friend helps you up when you fall; a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much, dumbass?"
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