This is so sad that I cried

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

The Baby Doll and the Rose

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back."The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."

"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

If you cried while reading this or it touched your heart and changed your lie, copy this into your profile.

My Name is Katie

My name is Katie

I am but four

I have bruises

And tonight I’ll get more

My daddy hates me

He wants me dead

He doesn’t care

If he hurts my head

My mommy doesn’t care

She ignores my cries

As I beg for help

And she sprouts lies

“You deserve it,”

She hisses

Then throws a bottle

And misses

I don’t know

What I did bad

But when I ask

He just gets mad

I try to be good

I try to be kind

But he doesn’t

Seem to mind

I hear his car

And try to run

But he grabs me

And has his fun

He leaves me

Under the backyard tree

As I let go of the pain

And finally become free

To meet the relief

I leave the pain

To greet my father

I feel no bane

Girls

are like apples

on trees. The best ones

are at the top of the tree.

The boys don't want to reach

for the good ones because they

are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Instead, they just get the rotten apples

from the ground that aren't as good,

but easy. So the apples at the top think

something is wrong with them, when in

reality, they're amazing. They just

have to wait for the right boy to

come along, the one who's

brave enough to

climb all

the way

to the top

of the tree

Bella: Yeah, I've got to incredibly hot guys wanting me! Help me! What do I do? Life is so unfair!

Me: Really? look at my cup of care. \_/

Oh yeah, IT'S FUCKING EMPTY YOU WHINEY BITCH!

Copy and paste this to your profiles if you believe that Isabitch should be GRATEFUL for what she has got!

Cheeky sod has a loving vampire and a loving, sexy werewolf ...

(\)_(/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination!

║██║ Music is my life. Put this if u listen

║(o)║to REAL music

Call me dumb, because I read all day.

CAll me a slut, because I made out with one guy.

Call me a freak, for pushing you out of the way.

Call me a bitch, for telling you off.

Call me a girl, because I scream when I see a spider.

Call me lazy, for watching a TV show.

Call me a vampire, because I stayed in my room instead of going outside in the sun.

Call me a Twilight freak, because I have the books.

Call me sarcastic, and I will sure make a snappy comeback.

Call me a nerd, but I'l be the one that gets into the best colleges.

Tell me again why I even listen to these comments, OH RIGHT because I don't give a shit about what people think about me. I have my own life, they don't like it, then they don't have to be apart of it.

The 10 Commandments of Twilight

1. I am the best book out there, you shall have no better ones than I.

2. You shall not take Edward Cullen's name in vain.

3. Remember to keep release dates calendared.

4. Honor the Cullen's for gracing you with their presence.

5. You shall not kill humans or shape-shifting wolves.

6. You shall not love both Edward and Jacob equally.

7. You shall not steal Twilight books from your friends to see how they will react when they can't read them anymore.

8. You shall not lie, for Edward will know that you did anyways.(Unless he can't hear you...)

9. You shall not covet Edward or Jacob! Edward is married and Jacob is MINE!

10. You shall not covet Edward's Volvo, or various Cullen cars.

I am NOT trying to use God's name in vain or making fun of the Ten Commandments when I copied and pasted this.

10 REAS0NS T0 L0VE JAC0B BLACK

10. He didn't leave.
9. He fights for the girl he loves.
8. He has a pulse.
7. He has a sense of humor.
6. He isn't a bloodsucker.
5. He isn't icy cold.
4. He is a good friend.
3. He doesn't give up easily.
2. He runs around half-naked all the time.
1. He looks freakin' hot without a shirt on. :D
Don't save a wolf! SAVE TAYLOR!!

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. 'If I had an Apple, and Edward Cullen had a Banana, would that make me his lemon?'

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, 'Holy crap, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

IF YOU LOVE JASPER HALE... COPY/PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE... AND SCREAM!

IF YOU LOVE SETH CLEARWATER... COPY/PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE... AND SCREAM!

IF YOU LOVE JACOB BLACK... COPY/PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE... AND SCREAM!

Admitting you are weird is normal. Admitting you are normal is odd. Different is odd and different is not good. If you are weird and proud of it, put this in your profile.

If you've ever had a really (and I mean really) obvious revelation, such as "my gosh, I get it, it's called fall, because the leaves fall from the trees!" copy and paste this into your profile.

If you truly believe that there is an Seth Clearwater out there somewhere for you (his name doesn't have to be Seth...) copy/paste this into your profile.

If you belive in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

IF YOU HAVE REREAD TWILIGHT OVER 11 TIMES COPY AND PASTE THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are guilty of doing a British, Irish, Australian, Southern accent or Elvis impression, copy this in your profile

Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your bio.

Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers has drank alcohol or done drugs. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this into your profile.

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're part of the two percent who hasn't, copy this, and paste it in your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile.

If you think disclaimers are the most annoying thing ever copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have WAY too much time on your hands and your on fanfiction.net with that time, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give the God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you believe PREPS TRAVEL IN PACKS, copy this to your profile.

If you are a proud stalker of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and Jacob Black, put this in your profile.

92% of teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch or American Eagle or Hollister said it was uncool to breathe. if you are part of the 8% that would stand there and laugh, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.

IF YOU'VE BEEN ON THE COMPUTER FOR HOURS ON END, READING NUMEROUS FANFICTIONS, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this into your profile

If you think that Global Warming is real, and that it should be dealt with, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have read three 300+ books in a day, copy this into your profile.

If you think that TWILIGHT is the best book known to man...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are a walking, talking Twilight series encyclopedia and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you went to sleep at around 2 am reading Twilight and/or New Moon and/or Eclipse, copy and pastes this onto your profile.

If you believe some teachers are seriously prejudiced, copy an paste this in your profile.

If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

Don't Like My "Twilight" Obsession? Bite Me.

95 percent of teenagers would be crying if Miley Cyrus was on the edge of the Rialto Tower.
Paste this to your profile if you are 1 of the 5 percent saying "JUMP BITCH!"

Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumb-war with yourself (I find that I am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, WhiteWinged Alchemist, DeiDei-kunsgirl, Deidaras-Flower,Sakurakunoich, LiveUrLife2013, Stargazer1364

If you have ever stared at a computer screen for hours and hours reading stories that people who have no lives whats so ever and have enough obsession with something to write a story about it and you are one of those people, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, WhiteWinged Alchemist, DeiDei-kunsgirl, Deidaras-Flower,Sakurakunoich, LiveUrLife2013, Stargazer1364

Ninety-five percent of people out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, Kailover 2006, Iluvbeyblade, Lamanth, DioRaRi, softball91, Icecream Skittles Addict, xnarutoxrocksx, Deidaras_Flower,Sakurakunoich, LiveUrLife2013, Stargazer1364

I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on Facebook, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.
Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone- Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, Skittle.Rocke, Silent_Broken_Heart, St. Fang of Boredom,rainbowstrike, iKate, fangalicous08, FangsTrashcanOfDoom, LukexThaliaxFan23, iggy-is-my-imprint, ImDaMnShOrTaNdPrOuD, HunterofArtemis1136, DoYouHaveToKnow, Stargazer1364

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up.

He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong...help do your part to end it!!

Month one . . .

Mommy, I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.
Month Two
Mommy, today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me, you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.
Month Three
You know what Mommy? I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too, and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.
Month Four
Mommy ,my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine, but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes, and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.
Month Five
You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?
Month Six
I can hear that doctor again.I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!
Month Seven
Mommy, I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.
If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you cried post this in your profile.

PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE IF YOU'RE AGAINST JUDGMENT AND STEREOTYPES

Bold the ones that fit you

I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun. (Just cause I'm black doesn't mean I have to be armed...)
I GOT SICK so I MUST be bulimic.
I WEAR GLASSES so I MUST be a nerd. (I'm just near-sighted and far-sighted)

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm POPULAR so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm FRIENDLY so I MUST be fake.
I DO SCHOOL CLUBS so I MUST be a suck up.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm MEXICAN, I I MUST steal everything I don't have.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals. (I'm just undecided. So sue me.)
I ACT DIFFERENT so I MUST be a show-off. (Bull shark. I just love being me.)
I DON'T DO FASHION so I MUST be poor. ( I love having my own swag by shopping at thrift stores, Goodwill, and other places.)
I HAVE NO FACEBOOK so I MUST have no friends. (Facebook can get people killed. I refuse to use it.)
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash. (...No comment, whatsoever.)
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm TALENTED so I MUST be a conceited show-off. (I love doing what I do, so haters can BACK OFF!)
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I LIKE A "LOSER" so I MUST be one too.
I WEAR MAKEUP so I MUST be a slut.
I DON'T WEAR MAKEUP so I MUST "think i'm all that". (I don't wear makeup because I have bad skin and tend to forget to take it off.)
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm an HONEST PERSON, so I MUST be a bitch. (If you lie, it just hurts more in the end.)
I'm an ACTRESS so I MUST be a liar.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm A WRITER so I MUST be crazy (Are Stephenie Meyer, James Patterson, or Richelle Mead crazy?... I didn't think so.)

I LIKE SCHOOL so I MUST be a loser. (Gandhi said 'Live like you'll die tomorrow. Learn like you'll live forever.')
I like DANCING, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I TALK TO BOYS so I MUST be a slut.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo. (Black makes me feel outgoing and courageous and sexy.)
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I WRITE SAD POETRY so I MUST be emo. (I write sad poetry to release emotions.)
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK

I LIKE TO READ so I MUST have no life. (I have a life and use it, but reading is a part of my life.)
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. (...No comment.)
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention (I LOVE BEING ME!)
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
Im a girl and I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all. (Nope. I just like having connections.)
Im a girl and I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay. (Look above.)
I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe. (Haters!)
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. (...No comment.)
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude. (I'm too young to have anything but my v-card.)
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid. (Stupid stereotypes.)
I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I LIKE TO LOOK GOOD so I MUST be insecure. (I like to look good just because.)
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. (I eat lunch so I don't die.)
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly (I'm single cause I'm single. Nothing more, nothing less.)
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.
I LIKE TO SING so I MUST be some "pop star". (Singing makes me me.)
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA. (I don't know what Jesus is...)
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm sort of GOTH so I MUST worship the devil. (Is wearing black a crime? If so, the law needs to be changed.)
I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.
I'm an OG so I must be Mexican.
I DO STUDENT GOVERMENT so I MUST be a class-act suck-up.
I TRY so I MUST be an over-achiever (I try because if I don't, I'm saying 'I give up' to all of those who said I couldn't.)
I act freaking CRAZY so i must be craving attention.
I LAUGH ALL THE TIME so i must be a party girl. (I laugh all the time to keep things bright. =D)
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. (Shoot yourself if you think this is true.)
I'm british, so I MUST be either a football (soccer) obsessed drugee/alcoholic or a rich and snobby with high society english.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I GO TO A NEEK SCHOOL, so I MUST have no social life.
I'm a neek, so I MUST not swear or talk about sex
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. (I've been through more in my short life than most have been through in almost a full century.)
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't. (I don't; actually I try to help them get as good as me.)
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak. (The pen is mightier than the sword.)
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant. (First off, I'm shy as heck. Second off, I'm only loud-mouthed when someone tells me off FIRST. Third off, I'm only SLIGHTLY overweight.)
I'm a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo. (I just love to write. It's not my fault if it's true.)
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. (I refuse to stereotype people. It's just wrong.)
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I MUST be a VAMPIRE.
I'm WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I'm not the MOST POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser. (SCREW THIS!)
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy. (I want my great-grandchildren to have a wonderful planet to live in.)
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE and IMMATURE. (Sometimes.)
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. (I love to read because it makes me feel like I'm someone else.)
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST. (It's a conspiracy, man!)
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have no clue. (I have a clue...I just lost it.)
I am QUIET and POLITE, so I MUST be a pushover. (sometimes)
I use GOOD GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a snob. (How are you going to get a good job if you say "AYE! YO, HOMIE! I wanna job in dis place!"?)
I prefer FANTASY and SCI-FI, so I MUST be out of touch with reality. (It makes me feel alive, like I'm actually doing something.)
I don't act DEPRESSED, so I MUST be weird.

Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love.

My mother taught me . . .

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

YOUR GUY SIDE:

x You love hoodies.
x You love Jeans
x Dogs are better than cats.
x It's hilarious when people get hurt.
x You've played with/against boys on a team.
x Shopping is torture.
x Sad movies suck.
x You own/ed an X-Box.
x Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
x At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
x You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.

x You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.

x You watch sports on TV.
x Gory movies are cool.
x You go to your dad for advice.
x You own like a trillion baseball caps.
x You like going to high school football games.
x You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
x Baggy pants are cool to wear.
x It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.

x Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
x You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
x Sports are fun.
x Talk with food in your mouth. (Its rude to talk with your mouth open when people do that I don't wanna eat anymore)
x Sleep with your socks on at night (I didn't even know that was a dude thing!)

TOTAL:12

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

x You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
x You love to shop.
x You wear eyeliner.
x You wear the color pink.
x Go to your mom for advice.
x You consider cheerleading a sport.

x You hate wearing the color black
x You like hanging out at the mall.
x You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
x You like wearing jewelry.

x Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
x Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
x You don't like the movie Star Wars.
x You were in gymnastics/dance.
x It takes you around/more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
x You smile a lot more than you should.
x You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
x You care about what you look like.

x You like wearing dresses when you can
x You love the movies.
x Used to play with dolls as little kid.
x Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
x Like being the star of everything.

Total: 13

Okay, this is the 14 trails game. All you do is simple. Go to the number where the number tells you to go to. Example: Your on the number 1, It's says "Look at 13!" So you go to 13. Keep doing this and 1 number will have a message.

1. I have to tell you a secret look at 5

2. HI! Go to 11

3. Shh don't anyone.. look at 15

4. Okay you broke me down, go to 13

5. First look 2

6. ... Go to 12

7. I just wanted to say... I Love you

8. Don't get mad! Look at 14

9. It's private, look at 4

10. One more time, go to 7.

11. Shhh okay? Go to 6

12. Uh uh, 8's got your story

13. Okay, no more! Go to 10!

14. Breathtaking, look at 3.

15. Umm, Go to 9.

Copy and paste on your profile if you played this. Also, put your username on the list!

XxRoxy-ChiixX, XxNashxX, jEzzy mISt-miSSy, Fashion-girl101, Stargazer1364

A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a "slut"; no one knows she was raped at age 14.

People call another guy "fat"; no one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight.

People call an old man "ugly"; no one knows he experienced a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war.

Re-post this if you are against bullying and stereotyping. I bet 88% of you won't...

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday. His wife would fly down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile...somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: 16 May 2003
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is not as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!

AU = Alternate Universe. Story does not follow the plot of the Twilight saga.

AH = All Human. There will be no vampires in the story.

AN = Author's Note. A notice, question, or other comment that the author of the story needs their readers to see.

POV = Point Of View. The eyes that we read through as we follow a fic. (EX: The Twilight saga is Bella's POV.) If written in the third person, no specific POV must be declared.

Ship = It means that you support a specific pairing.

OOC = Out Of Character. The actions or personality of a specific character will be different from what we deem normal for that specific character. (IE: Rosalie might be super nice to Bella right away in an AU fic, which would mean Rosalie was written OOC.)

OC = Original Character. A person not from the books will be featured in the story.

HEA = Happily Ever After. Rather self-explanatory.

Non-canon = This is used mainly for pairings. If, for example, you read a Jasper/Bella story you are reading a non-canon story; because it does not feature in the books.

Canon = It DOES feature in the books. This is often used both for pairings, and for plot. (Ex. for plot: Stories that take place pre-Twilight or post-Breaking Dawn are nearly always acclaimed canon stories.)

Lemon/Smut = Any non-kid-friendly material, always in a sexual reference. A lemon is most always R rated, while smut can be hidden in between the lines in something K rated.

Slash = Male and Male smut.

Femmeslash = Female and Female smut.

PWP = Porn Without Plot. Graphic lemons written for the sake of being a lemon.

Outtake = It's technical definition is a chapter which has been taken out. However, it's universally used as a term for a chapter written in another character's POV. Usually posted at the end of the fic.

WIP = Work In Progress. The fic is not yet finished.

Darkfic = This is a fic where dark themes and events are strongly present. It deals with situations like slavery and misuse of sex. Very often includes some sort of physical abuse towards another person. Drug use or graphic death can also constitute a darkfic. (IE: The majority that I have seen are in the HP fandom. In particular, Draco Malfoy buying Hermoine Granger to be used as a pleasure tool.)

R+R / R&R = Read and Review. It means, basically, that if you read you should be nice enough to review. Us authors love feedback, it is half the reason we write. We like to try and grow as writers.

OTP = One True Pairing. This is the ship that an author has declared their favorite. It can be crack or canon. An OTP is usually very natural-feeling and easy for an author to write. Though unusual, an author can have two OTP's per fandom. (EX: I, myself, cannot decide between Jasper/Bella and Alec/Alice for the Twilight fandom.)

Fluff = A type of fic which has a generally happy atmosphere, rather than loads of smut or angst. Of course, one could always write a specific type of fluff and change that. (IE: Tragic Fluff will be all angst and someone dies.)

WAFF = Warm and Fluffy Feeling. It's super fluff! lol. Usually-K-Rated things that just make you gush with happiness induce WAFF.

Songfic = A fan fiction based around or inspired by a song. The contents should have something to do with the lyrics. Usually a one-shot.

Favorite Quotes

"Scars remind us where we've been; they don't have to dictate where we're going." ~David Rossi, Criminal Minds

"You should see what pops up when you type 'death' into a search engine." ~Spencer Reid, Criminal Minds

"I don't know everything. I mean, despite the fact that you think I do." ~Spencer Reid, Criminal Minds

What if I'm not the hero? What if I'm the bad guy?" ~Edward Cullen, Twilight

"I will fight for you until your heart stops beating." ~Jacob Black, Eclipse

"Go home, and don't come back. Or you're gonna get hurt." ~Jacob Black, New Moon (Jacob grew a backbone!)

"Look at me! Without a gun I look like a teacher's assistant!" ~Spencer Reid, Criminal Minds

"Are you hacking into the government's HMO database? Is that legal?"
"Of course not. We'll both go to prison and you'll become someone's bitch." ~Spencer Reid and Penelope Garcia, Criminal Minds

"Hotch, repetitive thinking is a death knell for the brain. For complete brain usage, diverse stimulation is the key." ~Spencer Reid, Criminal Minds

“Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all. “ ~William Goldman, "The Princess Bride"

"Stand up to be seen, speak up to be heard" ~Unknown

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

Life is a test- I didn't take very good notes

I asked my teacher if I'd get in trouble for something I didn't do. She said of course not, so I told her I didn't do my homework

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!

Drugs are bad news. Spread the word.

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it annoys enough people to make it worth while

If drama was vodka, my whole school would be wasted... except for me of course

I intend to live forever... so far so good

So what's the speed of dark?

Old enough to know better, young enough to do it again

Embrace the inner rebel- don't sit up straight

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history

In order to get to heaven, you have to make a little hell.

If you try and don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Never go to bed angry, stay up and plot your revenge.

You know you're in love when you don't wanna go to sleep at night because your life is better than a dream.

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away from their annoying ass and you still have their shoes.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Dear Heart, I met a boy today; prepare to shatter.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

Having the love of you're life say "we can still be friends" is like having you're dog die and your mother saying you can still keep it.

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might wanna offend you later.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

I put the FUN in DisFUNctional :)

I dream of a better tomorrow--when chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

I dont have a short attention span, i just...oh look, a kitty!

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' and 'l' in it?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?

I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms. (especially on Monday)

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

'It's always the last place you look'. Well of course it is! Why the heck would I keep looking after I found it!

When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really, who likes lemons?

When Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.

When Life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Life is all about ass. Everyone's either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece of it, or simply just being one.

Love your enemies. It pisses them off.

Nobody is perfect. I am nobody.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried.

Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide.

I was uncool before uncool was cool.

Why get high when there are other ways to achieve a smug sense of superiority?

Sarcasm: my anti-drug.

I used to see a shrink... until she said life isn't for everyone.

All those who have telekenesis, raise my hand.

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

Boys are like slinkeys. Completely useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Children... you spend 2 years teaching them how to walk and talk, you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up

I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.

I was going to take over the world but got distracted by something sparkly

My knight in shining amour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems...

Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get me!

I live in my own little world, but it's ok, everyone knows me here

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit

When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

Has anyone else ever wondered how Alcoholics Anonymous stays Anonymous?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

I agree with the dictionary. girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because you're all the same.

The closer you get to the light, the bigger your shadow becomes.

Don't take life too seriously, it's not like you're getting out alive.

someone should seriosly sue walt disney for making every girl believe she has a prince charming

the dinosaur extinction wasn't an accident - barney came and they all commited suicide

The difference between humour and tradgety is that humor is when it happens to someone else

Always forgive your enimies, nothing annoys them more

Remember, God made men first because you always need a rough draft before you make perfection

I'm the froot loop in a world of cherrios.

You want to know who your real friends are? Screw up and see who's still there

Don't tell me the sky's the limit, when there's footprints on the moon

Silence is golden, duck-tape is sliver

"MENstrual pain, MENstrual cramps, MENtal anxiety, MENopause... all of our problems start with MEN!"

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

Somebody needs a happy meal.

I find the phrase "Good Morning" an oxymoron.

"Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable. But that is called 'cannibalism' my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies." ~Willy Wonka

Hey, people. Here are the characters in Eternal Night:

~Ebony~ http://madamenoire.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/brandy.jpg

~Onyx~ http://teenchive.none18.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/keke-palmer-visits-rob-dyrdeks-fantasy-factory.jpg

~Edward Cullen and his Family (If you don't have a clue what they look like, please watch Twilight)~ http://www.stepheniemeyer.com/img/movie_cullens4.jpg

~Jade Whitelock, Ebony's and Onyx's Mother~ http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llaw0xOWp91qihvyro1_500.jpg

~Robert Whitelock~ http://www.eurweb.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/idris_elba2010-headshot-med-wide.jpg

~Wolf Pack~ http://screencrave.frsucrave.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/taylor-new-moon-16-11-09-kc.jpg

~Jacob~ http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2009/database/taylorlautner/taylor_lautner300.jpg

~Chelsea~ http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-W-H9d1F2YrY/TWjtBuMvr9I/AAAAAAAABag/cmlMRNz5eB4/s1600/Brown-Hair-color.jpg

~Christian~ http://s.wsj.net/media/lermanphoto_EV_20100205205229.jpg

~Diamond~ http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4089/5009023904_935acce364.jpg

~Andrew~ http://www.mtv.com/onair/taking_the_stage/images/photos/cast/Tyler/XV3J1997.jpg

~The Volturi~ http://images.wikia.com/twilightsaga/images/6/6b/The-Volturi-the-volturi-7940833-1024-768.jpg

An Imprint with a Tail (in the order of appearance):

Talia~http://images.askmen.com/galleries/actress/raven-symone/pictures/raven-symone-picture-2.jpg

Ivory McKenzie~ http://image.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/78251/78251,1266178509,11/stock-photo-beautiful-green-eyed-redhead-girl-in-stylish-sexy-silk-corset-46671121.jpg

Adam Sinclaire~ http://www.manhairstyles.net/resimler/paul-walker-hair-styles-0.jpg

Keane~ http://www.comingsoon.net/nextraimages/beastly1tease.jpg

Nina Angelica Uley~ http://images.zap2it.com/images/tv-EP01107208/tyler-perrys-meet-the-browns-denise-boutte-1.jpg

Luna, the goddess~ http://images.sodahead.com/polls/000549421/polls_greeneyes004PHlg_1310_111054_answer_6_xlarge.jpeg

Paul Kaydell~http://api.ning.com/files/hznr9QCKmdXAMCy87ZLfTcABebtN0XQN3pvLure9j20isC8sCNza3k*jK8AhsCnOjrySP4hlyEl*k*tlz3NaVcXjf0stfj9V/paul2.jpg

Paul in wolf form~ http://images.wikia.com/twilightsaga/images/4/43/Paul_Wolf.jpg

Sam Uley~ http://images.wikia.com/twilightsaga/images/f/f6/Normal_013.jpg

Sam in wolf form~ http://momwatchtwilight.com/images/Darkwolfv.jpg

The Pack~ http://screencrave.frsucrave.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/taylor-new-moon-16-11-09-kc.jpg