Story Ideas:

Letters to New Direction Members

Letters to Harry Potter peoples

If you wish you went to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, then copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list with you house of choice: FiyeroTiggular93 - Slytherin, Weirder Than You - Ravenclaw, Summer Sweetheart - Hufflepuff, Kataang2- Gryffindor, MoonlightSpirit- Gryffindor, NorthernLights25, I love Neville, In The Loft, Looneyrific-Ravenclaw

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

Quotes:

See children? Everything in this room is eatable. Even I'm eatable! But that, my dear children, is called cannibalism; and that is frowned upon in most societies. - Willy Wonka

I'm to awesome to fail.- a shirt from hottopic

Tottaly Awesome!- avpm

THAT'S IN CANADA!- avpm

RUMBLEROAR!- avpm

I don't know, man. Cedric Diggory, he's pretty awesome. NOT! He sucks! I'm totally gonna win, it's in the bag!" - Harry(Darren Criss) avpm

"Yeah, Hermione, I'm the boy who lived. Not died. God." - harry - avpm

"That's Lavender Brown! RACIST SISTER!" - Ron - avpm

"Accio Double Stuff!" - Ron - avpm

"That is a BOSS Zefron poster." - Ron - avpm

You know, I used to think looks weren't important and now I think they're more important than anything." - Hermione - avpm

"Actually I have heard those things, Harry, about a thousand times, but never have they been told to me with so much sass. Drop the attitude, Harry Potter. You are acting like Garfield on a Monday." - Hermione - avpm

Oh my Rowling! What happened Harry Potter?" - Ginny - avpm

"Dumbledore? Pfft! What an old coot! He's nothing like Rumbleroar. Rumbleroar is the Headmaster at Pigfarts. He's a lion. Who can talk." - Draco - avpm

"I can't GO to Pigfarts, Potter. It's ON MARS. You need a rocket ship. Do you have a rocket ship, Potter? I bet you do. You know, not all of us inherited enough money to buy out NASA when our parents died. Look at this! Look at this! It's Rocketship Potter! Starkid Potter! Moonshoes Potter! Traversing the galaxy for intergalactic travels to Pigfarts!" - Draco - avpm

"I WANT HERMIONE GRANGER and a rocketship..." - Draco - avpm

"Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders." - Cedric - avpm

"FIND!" - Cedric - avpm

"Lavender Brown: Professor...can, like, a person be a portkey? Snape: No, that's absurd. Because then if a person were to touch themselves (stares at Ron) they would constantly be transported into different places." - Snape - avpm

Glee:

1)Who's your favorite character? Why?: do I have to pick just one? Rachel- because she's just plain awesome, Kurt- He's like the bestest friend any person could ever had, Blaine - he's like a big brother or a giant stuff Sea Lion you get from Sea World that you just hug

2)Who is your least favorite character?Why?: Sebastian- he's the perfect evil doer,

3)What is your favorite paring? I don't have one

4)What is your favorite Glee song: America and Uptown Girl

5)Do you have a secret pairing that other people might not understand? nopeadoodle

6)What is your least favorite paring?Brittana, I like Bartie better

7)What is your least favorite Glee song? Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (Finn made it slow and boring (BOO))

8)What is your favorite Glee performance? Anything with the Warblers cause dem be so awesome

9)What is your least favorite Glee performance? IDK

10)What is your favorite Glee episode? oooh so hard um the one where um GOT IT, ever single episode with the Warblers in them

11)What is your least favorite Glee episode? Rocky Horror

12)You’re the new kid at McKinley. Who are you most likely to become friends with? well i actually would rather go to Dalton but since it's McKinley Kurt, Blaine, Rachel, Tina, Brittany, Artie, the scottish dude who's name I can't remember

13)You decide to audition for the Glee Club. What song do you sing? Everytime we Touch By Cascade or Butterfly (don't know the writer)

14) Most of the Gleeks are doubling up. What other extracurricular activity are you involved in? Creative Writing

15) Jacob Ben Israel has written a scathing review of your performance on his online blog! What do you do? I'll not care because I'll turn his negativity into positive feedback (it'll help when I become an author)

16) Sue Sylvester has dragged you by your ear to Principal Figgins’ office. Why? doing something Warbler or being to nice

17) April Rhodes has returned to McKinley! What terrible lesson does she teach you? I'm scared run away stay as far away as possible (not gonna take any chances of learning lesson from her)

18) Mr. Schuester is struggling to think of songs for the Glee Club to perform. What do you suggest to him? I don't Know not the best desicion maker probably agree with watever Rachel, Kurt, or Blaine has to say (team up with the Warblers)

19) Sue Sylvester has chosen you to be one of “Sue’s Kids”. What derogatory name does she call you by? Todler( on account that I'm as hyper as a four year old and am always yelling)

20) You eat some bad Chinese food before you go to bed and have a Glee related nightmare. What happens in it? I'm at Dalton and they're having a party and Sebastian and Blaine are dancing and Kurt is all alone (KURT NO GO GO STOP THAT EVIL DISNEY CHARACTER NAMED WANNABE)

21) After a few months of being in the Glee Club, you form a crush on a certain someone. Who is this someone? I guess Artie he's really awesome or the scottish kid who's name i Cannot remember because he has an awesome accent

22) It’s been 20 years since the Glee kids have graduated. What is (the character of your choice) doing? Rachel's living her dream on Broadway showing everyone who's the best oh and she's married to Finn who is a exterminator (Finn can't seem to catch a break)

23) Mr. Schuester gives the Glee kids the task of another mash-up. What two songs do you use? Dynamite and Party Rock Anthem

24) You think that’s hard? Try, that’s hard! YOU THINK'S THAT'S HARD, TRY GOING TO COMIC CON AND SEEING GROWN MEN FAWNING OVER LITTLE GIRL TOYS (I'm sorry Bronies, I didn't mean it I just couldn't think of anything)

25) You catch Sue Sylvester trying to sabotage the Glee Club. What is she doing? destroying the sheat music and instrument then baracading the door after leaving it full of explosives and rabid monkeys, racoons, dogs, cats, pandas, and Honey Badgers

Harry Potter

Female Character? Hermione, Tonks, Luna, Ginny, Rose, Victorie

Male Character? Harry, Ron, Draco, Neville, Lupin, Sirius, Snivelus

Professor? Lupin, Neville, Dumbledor

Death Eater? Draco, Snape

Pairing? Luna/Draco

Magical Creature? can it be from fanfiction? Nargles and LizardPlaytpus

Spell? aquamento I'll always have water and I can randomly spray people and trip them with the water like on Lego Harry Potter

Quote? "Dumbledore? Pfft! What an old coot! He's nothing like Rumbleroar. Rumbleroar is the Headmaster at Pigfarts. He's a lion. Who can talk." (you didn't say it couldn't be from AVPM hahahahahaha)

Movie? I like the books better

Hogwarts House? Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff

Place? do you need to ask that question HOGWARTS

Weasley? everyone except Percy

Couple? Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny, Lupin/Tonks

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you are Harry Potter obsessed, copy this into you profile and add your name to the list: Ga Nat Nat, Evil Older Sister, Frozenfan, Emerald Bear, Kyprioths Shadow, Ebony Rayne, lillypop, An-Jelly-Ca, In The Loft, Looneyrific

If you are Harry Potter obsessed, copy this into you profile and add your name: Ga Nat Nat, Evil Older Sister, Frozenfan, The Choco-Holic, Jade Snape-Holloway, psychotic me, LLAMAS WILL RULE THE WORLD, PrettyFanGirl, Cannotstopwriting,jasmineflower27, dork-with-glasses, Rhiannon da crazygirl. Fred-Weasley-Isn't-dead, cheesecake15, Gryffindor.girl.for.life, Marauder'sGirlCuzI'mUp2NoGood, carolinagirl2, In The Loft, Looneyrific

If you spend a lot of time wishing Hogwarts existed, copy and paste this into your account

If you liked Snape after Deathy Hallows, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you miss Fred Weasley more than all the others, put this in your profile (though it's a close call between Fred, Lupin, Tonks, and Dobby)

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Already have the shovel to bury the body of the person that made you cry.

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Can't catch me!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Have you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Lose your stuff and tell you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl, drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this!

Just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, ect, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions (or typing out a stupid fanfiction bio) copy this into your profile

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have you own little world, copy and paste this into your profile

If You Do NOT Ship Dramione, copy and paste this on your profile

If You Do NOT Ship Drarry then copy and paste this on your profile

If You Do NOT Ship Harmione (*shudders*) copy and paste this on your profile

If You Are Christian And Support Gay Rights Copy And Paste This On Your Profile

BOLD applies to me

I'm Irish so I must have/must of had a drinking problenm

I WEAR GLASSES, so I MUST be a FRIENDLESS, UGLY NERD.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CATHOLIC, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm of MIXED RACE, so I MUST be CONFUSED about my racial identity.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.

I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be sleeping with them all.

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool because that's how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude. . .or ugly.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7

I'm CATHOLIC so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in a BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm a BLACK WOMAN that has STRAIGHT HAIR, so I MUST have a WEAVE.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST be secretly gay.

I don't believe in EVOLUTION, so I MUST be a STUPID JESUS FREAK.

I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed, and arrogant.

I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear skirts.

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m PRO-CHOICE, so I MUST be an EVIL, HEARTLESS SINNER that HATES CHILDREN.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I care about the ENVIRONMENT, so I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I'm in an INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIP, so I MUST hate men/women of my own race.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.

I Am The Girl

- I am the girl who falls in love with book characters, 'cause the guys in my life just don't understand me.

- I am the girl who loves the dark, 'cause the light is just too bright for my liking.

- I am the girl who imagines she was someone else, 'cause her own life is too plain.

- I am the girl whose closest confidant is a person who exists solely in her imagination, 'cause I can't even talk to my friends about some things.

- I am the girl who is in the background of everything, 'cause who would consider putting me up front?

- I am the girl who can sit in an empty room for hours and not get bored, 'cause my mind is my only retreat from life. And a pretty darn good retreat it is.

- I am the girl who can't get rid of books, 'cause they contain my best friends, closet memories, and favorite places.

- I am the girl who rarely speaks, 'cause no one is able to listen anymore.

- I am the girl who is not afraid of anything, 'cause honestly, what is there to be afraid of?

-I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book.

-I am the girl that people look through when I say something.

-I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.

-I am the girl that people call weird, a nerd, and a freak either behind my back or to my face.

-I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to her best friend on a cellphone or regular phone.

-I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year.

-I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with magic, who can express herself better with words than without words, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and Paste this onto your account if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.

Cinderella walked on broken glass. Sleeping Beauty let a whole lifetime pass. Belle fell in love with a hideous beast. Jasmine married a common thief. Ariel walked on land for love and life. Snow white barely escaped a knife. It was all about blood, sweat, and tears, Because love means facing your biggest fears.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says "if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven"

If you love the rain, copy and paste this into your profile

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism.

Mommy I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy I'm a boy! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak

Copy and Paste this if you believe abortion it WRONG

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

How to shop at wal-mart

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look."

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

15.Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting, "I CHOOSE YOU PIKACHU!!"

16. Have a friend push you down the aisle in a shopping cart as you yell "THE REDNECKS ARE COMING! THE REDNECKS ARE COMING!"

17. Shout at the top of your lungs "WALDEMORT IS TAKING OVER!" and count how many people turn to look at you

If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the alphabet song and twinkle, twinkle little star have the same tune.

If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought impossible to choke on), copy this in your profile

If you think those kids should just give the Rabbit his cereal, copy this in your profile!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile

Even when you can’t see him God is there! If you believe in God, copy/paste this into your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid and obvious question, copy and past this into your profile

Annoying things to do on an elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "GROUP HUG" then enforce it

OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me. "

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you".

THE STUPIDNESS OF MANKIND

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) Someone told me someone actually tried to do this! that guy that tried to stop it has 9 fingers.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever almost fallen of the last step, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile

If you or your best friend is insane, copy and past this into your profile

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you sigh at the fact that because your profile is so long there is little chance someone would actually take the time and read it, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped over an article of clothing you were wearing at the time, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever started humming a song that you have absolutely no idea what it is put this on your profile

If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this to your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal! Saying that you are normal is odd! If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy and paste this onto your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself! It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE then it's weird! If you agree, copy and paste this and put it in your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie or show or read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know and fights the urge to slap those who don't, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you actually take the time to read other peoples profiles, copy this to yours.

If you agree that you have a problem when you start actually replying to yourself like there are two people in the room then copy and paste this in your profile.

Fancy a challenge? Try this: I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile.

If you think that animal abusers are jerks, copy this onto your profile

If you love reading, copy this into your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you have just two reviews, copy and paste this into your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you should be doing homework right now, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

If you think it's stupid that girls are automatically labeled with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your fashion sense is "is it comfortable", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're still reading this profile, you ROCK! Show the world I approve and put this on your profile.

If you have ever wondered why you exist and/or why your name is what it is then copy and paste this to your profile.

if you have ever gotten temporary memory loss and then suddenly remember at a total random moment, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever snorted whilst laughing copy and paste this to your profile.

(^(oo)^) This is pig. Copy and paste pig onto your page so people can be jealous of your pig.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If they are right... copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people PLEASE copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off it's orbit" for a couple scientists’ likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you’ve ever made faces in front of a security camera then paste this in your profile.

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are such a loser that you actually read all these 'If you ever blah blah blah, copy this into your profile' things, copy this into your profile.

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever get a random urge to start screaming at the top of your lungs copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever turned around and questioned how you got on those subjects after an entire conversation, copy and paste this in to your profile.

If you thought whoever invented music is completely AWESOME, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever put something very special in a very special spot just so you could remember where it is and then forgot where you put it, copy and paste this into you profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favourite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumb war with yourself. Crazy is when you enjoy making other people look at you like you're from another planet. So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy.

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever stared at a computer screen for hours and hours reading stories that people who have no lives what so ever and have enough obsession with something to write a story about it and you are one of those people, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you listen to and talk back to the voices in your head and find nothing wrong with it because you know they're there, put this in your profile.

If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it, copy and paste this into your profile

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk is good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have really bad memory, copy and...what was I doing again?

If you are insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile:D

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been watching a T.V show, and when the commercials came on you forgot what you were watching copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a random song pop into your head at the most completely and utter worst time but you sing it anyway copy this into your profile.

98% of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile

Just because we eat animals for food doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc. copy this into your profile! Did you know that to get the fur, they club, drown, and anal electrocute the poor animals. And why are they so cruel? Because they don't want to ruin the furs! Now copy this into your freakin' profile, dammit

I hate pop-ups. If you hate all the ads popping up while you're trying to read some story, copy this into your profileIf you want to see the world someday, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste into your profile.

EMBRACE THE WEIRDNESS! If you embrace the weirdness, copy this into your profile.

If you're awesome, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever said a word, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think sporks are cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are in La-La land most of the time copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If you are a chocoholic copy this into your profile.

If you are extremely obsessed with British boys, and their accents, copy this to your profile.

If your friends are considering torturing you to stop you singing an annoying song that you always get stuck in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile

If your friends are considering torturing you to stop you talking about a fictional character, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are in love with a fictional character, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten your or your families/friends name while introducing people, copy this to your profile.

If you're smart and proud of it, insert this in your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If there are times when you want - and proceed - to annoy people just for the hell of it, but not out of any personal animosity towards said people, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into something that you clearly could
have dodged but you just weren't paying enough attention, copy this into your profile.

If you ever purposely created an awkward moment...because it was funny, copy and paste this on to you profile!

If you think reading is sexy, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you have walked under something that is two feet over your head, but ducked anyway, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that those kids in the Lucky Charms commercial just need to get their own damn cereal instead of chasing a little leprachaun all over the place for it then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever spoken in a foreign accent without intending to, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are a procrastinator, copy and paste this into your profile. Tomorrow.

If you always say 'uhhh...' when someone questions you, instead of replying shortly, copy and paste this into your

If you have ever chewed gum that fell out of your mouth while talking, copy and paste this into your profile.

If this happened to you while you were NOT talking, copy this into your profile.

If you ever fell asleep in class, copy this into your profile.

If you're too lazy to copy and paste this stuff into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

Girls rule now and forever. Copy & paste this in your profile if you agree.

If you've used bold, italics, and underline all at once just to see what it looked like, copy this and paste it on your profile.

If you frequently use words that your spell checker says don't exist, put this on your profile. .

IF YOU'VE EVER TYPED A WHOLE SENTENCE AND THEN LOOKED UP AND REALIZED THE CAPS LOCK WAS ON AT THE WRONG TIME, PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE!

If you hate racism, copy and paste this into your profile:

The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...

When I was born I was BLACK,

When I grew up I was BLACK,

When I'm sick I'm BLACK,

When I go in the sun I'm BLACK,

When I'm cold I'm BLACK,

When I die I'll be BLACK.

But you sir,

When you're born you're PINK,

When you grow up you're WHITE,

When you're sick, you're GREEN,

When you go in the sun you turn RED,

When you're cold you turn BLUE,

And when you die you turn PURPLE.

And you have the nerve to call me coloured?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you made it to the end, copy and paste this to your profile