You'll never believe what happened to me!!

So, I was walking through the great Nevadan desert--hunting for my monthly thrill of desert tortoise chasing--when suddenly this pickup truck flagged me down. I had thought the driver wanted to see if I wanted any delicious ocean breeze candles when he grabbed me and bound my arms and legs in never ending layers of duct tape! When I tried to shout out, he gagged me with what looked—and tasted *blech*--like a rolled-up pair of musty brown socks. Then he threw me in the flatbed, got back in the truck, revved up the engine, and sped off.

The shady truck driver drove and drove for what felt like hours, going well over the speed limit, until we were pulled over by a cop on a zamboni. I guess he had been hiding behind a large billboard advertising bunion cream that we had passed several miles back. The cop dismounted from the great ice machine, saddled up to the driver’s window, and confronted him in some language I couldn’t recognize. Little did I know that the cop was really from the planet Zorgapathia and the truck driver was a missionary of the universe, who I later realized was trying to auction me to his planet as a slave or in pieces for meat. Or something like that. See, the cop had torn off the fake human flesh to reveal a slimy and vivid green skin stretched over angled features, giving off a foul smell like rancid meat. Kind of awesome, though, at the same time.

It was then that the “cop” reached out and pulled me up by the hair, still speaking in that weird, screechy language, when suddenly there was a loud bang and the screech of tires, and I found asphalt spiraling up toward my face. I ended up face planting the hot and sandy road so hard I got a concussion. I know, right? If I were going to be auctioned why would he bust my face first? The reason was clear when I looked up to see a worn-down DeLorean that had appeared inches from my face. It was all I could do but just stare at the guy who got out (because, well, I was still a duct tape burrito). This dude with crazy Einstein hair and a dirty lab coat stumbled out of the car and started gabbling in the same foreign language my kidnappers had used. Next thing I know the alien cop scrambled into the pickup and both high-tailed it out of there.

When the dust cleared, the truck was no more than a speck on the horizon. All I can remember after that was the crazy old dude bending over me before I passed out.

When I came to I was patched up in the hospital with major tape rash, a calendar turned to the month December, and a weird story to tell.

And that is why I haven't been on FanFiction lately.

Hi and Hello! DarkSeaRain's the name!

My name, you ask? You may call me DarkSeaRain. Didn't you see who's profile you were reading?

A few random things about me:

1) I laugh easily. Seriously, I'll smile at pretty much anything.

2) Favorite color: green

3) Birthday's in August

4) Love to read anything, especially fantasy, comedy, and mystery

5) I'll eat anything, so long as it is edible and not toxic; that, my friends, I would not recommend if you were to try. Foooood...

6) I'll talk to anyone for no reason at all simply because I want to see someone smile.

Blah Blah Blah. I'm sure you would much rather read my stories than listen to me ramble on and on... ( and yet I'm still writing)

So, I'll keep writing on one condition: Let me know what you think!

Stories in Progress:

Death Note:

I might lay off Death Note for a bit, since I've already written two stories for it. Buuuuut...I DO have stories in need of editing. One involves Misa and BB (won't say if they're paired or not), and I also have some comedies involving the task force. XD

Kingdom Hearts:

I actually have quite a developed story. Most of it is even written down, I just need to type it up. Should be expecting it to be up soon, and it might even be my next published story...

8/3/11: Wow. I've had this story written for over a year and have only edited the equivalent to about two chapters (I'm expecting the story will be around fifteen chapters long). Since I DO have about two chapters though, I should be able to post them vewwwwy soon. I missed a plane flight that has been rescheduled to next week, so I expect progress soon. Until then, I'm working on it.

Harry Potter:

I have story lines in mind, but I'm having trouble developing them into plots. As I'm sure many already published fanfics do, they take place after book 7. I really want to write one about Draco. Might do that, but I have to think of something to write about.

Studio Ghibli:

Spirited Away: I don't think there are enough background stories of Lin or Haku. Exactly. If I can, I'm going to write them, once I get my mind wrapped around them.

Howl's Moving Castle: Hmm...I recently got the idea of writing about Howl's past in more detail. Pfft, right, like there aren't enough of those. Won't say any more here.

...that's about it.(If you would like to request a certain story be published before the others, let me know!)

The lines that make the anime. Or the book. Or the movie. Or game...

Say what you want, but I will be taking the cake. (L, Death Note)

I too was once a rose petal...but now I am a thorn. (March, March Story)

I don't think anyone is born knowing the reason why they're here its just something you have to find as you go along. (Honda Tohru, Fruits Basket)

If you use your head, you won’t get fat even if you eat sweets. (L, Death Note)

I'll take a potato chip--pant--and EAT IT! (Light, Death Note)

Anything's possible if you've got enough nerve. (Ginny, Order of the Phoenix)

OH MY LORD FREDERICK. (Haruhi, Ouran High School Host Club)

If you can't win the game, if you can't solve the puzzle, then you're just a loser. (Near, Death Note)

Let's see here: "If the subject fails to respond, use aggression to liberate his true disposition." Right... Did they ever pick the wrong guy for this one. (Demyx, Kingdom Hearts)

Misa: I can't even imagine a world without Light
L: Yes, it would be quite dark. (Death Note)

In the end there is no greater motivation than revenge. (Mello, Death Note)

We just witnessed a classic example of what I call miss directed rage, I believe the technical term is being an ass. (Sohma Shigure, Fruits Basket)

My favorite Kidd's OCD drama in Soul Eater:

Liz: Then let's try this. We'll run back home really fast and check, and then we'll run even faster to go save them!

Kidd:...I don't want to...

Liz: WHY NOT!!?

Kidd: What'll I do if I really did forget to fold it...!? My entire being would be denied by toilet paper! I couldn't go on living!!

Liz: THEN JUST DIE!!

You are not alone Kidd...

Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropiate date to the Yule Ball

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office I HAVE DONE THIS (you know we did NoClueHere :D)

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"

8) I am not allowrd to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's tasteless, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus's "time of the month"

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it

16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room togther and bet on which House will come out alive

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Kinghts of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast

18) I am not allowed to declare an offical "Hug A Slytherin Day"

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways

20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor This one may be my favorite XD

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-ful"

25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell

26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways

28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge

30) I will not go to class skyclad

31) I will not use Umbridge's quiz to write, "Told you I was Hard Core"

32) If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm My friend did this

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the poition is acceptable as Body Lotion

35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"

37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearnig an orange anorak

38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine

39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts

40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"

41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck

42) I do not have a Dalek Patronous

43) I will not lick Trevor

44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey"

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself too seriously

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions

48) I am not the King of the Potato Poeple and I do not have a flying carpet

49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice

50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God O_o

Friends

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "THAT WAS FRICKING AWSOME"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'its because your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crappp!!

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."