Contrary to popular belief I do not hail from the mystical land of Whore Island. I believe in being co-people, not just co-workers, but more than that I believe in supporting my fellow Visigoths (long story). I love a man who owns leather books, sings thinly-veiled songs about sexual activity in the midle of the day, and wears Sex Panther cologne. It's made with bits of real panther so 60% of the time it works every time. I like to hang with Dorothy Mantooth because she is a saint. And I always, always think that milk is a bad choice on a hot summer day.

If you read my stories, please post a review, even if it's negative. Since writing shouldn't take place in a bubble feedback is the best way to grow, to learn, and to connect with readers. Though my moniker suggests otherwise I am neither a pirate nor am I smelly. But I will write more for reviews, so I suppose the third part of my name might be true in a purely literary sense.

Random fact: I absolutely give a @*#! about the Oxford comma.

Update: I am taking a short break from my stories to finish another project.

However, I have a longer, original piece of fiction that I am publishing on the sister site, Fictionpress, under the same name I use here. This story has been completed for a long time so I'll be posting regularly, probably Mondays and Thursdays, and it is a complete 180 from what I've written here. So if you're up for a change pay me a visit and leave a review and I promise to respond.

I also have a blog at www(dot)highschoolpoetryslam(dot)com where I recount my high school experience through my old journals and [painfully bad] poetry. It is currently on hiatus but there is still a wealth of barely-focused angst and unintentional hilarity there for general consumption.

Thank you for your time and your presence on my profile. You stay classy, world.