|Theodora Helena Miller|
Author has written 11 stories for Ranger's Apprentice, Maximum Ride, Harry Potter, Knight and Rogue series, Merlin, Warriors, and Sherlock.
Dear Wizarding Community:
It has come to our attention that a Dark Wizard or Witch unknown has made a Inferi of Cedric Diggory, now going by the name of Edward Cullen. He is known to be running around with an unregistered Animagus, Jacob Black. If you have any information about their whereabouts, send an owl to the Ministry of Magic and we will dispatch Aurors immediately.
Minister of Magic.
Name: Theo (duh)
Age: 13 years, 11 months, 4 days
General: I'm a nerd. A fantasy nerd, to be specific. Questions on: magic lore; legends, especially King Arthur and Roman; faeries; elemental magic (right down to the very sciences of it); English Literature (Fantasy); word origins, synonyms, usage, and definitions; grammar; medieval warfare? I'm your gal.
I'm also totally insane *Estella voice in my head "you can say that again"* "Shut up, Estella." *People in room turn to stare at me talking to midair* *oops* "I can explain... Imaginary friend?" *okay, Theo's crazy. What were you saying?* *Quinn voice in my head "haha fail."* *sigh*
No, really, I do not have a life outside of fanfiction and my manuscript.
Other: I spend my free time protecting Araluen, honing my Ranger skills, and performing epic Broadway musical numbers! Why? Because I'm a member of Ranger Corps: Men in Cloaks, founded by Hibernian Princess. Want to join in this fanfiction phenomenon and figure out what it's all about? Contact Hibernian Princess and read her story Ranger Corps: Men In Cloaks!
Jace: "Mom and Dad won't be pleased you traded your brother to a warlock who looks like a gay Sonic the Hedgehog."
Simon: "What do you want?" Clarissa Fray: "Just coffee. Black... Like my soul." Simon: "It's a far better thing that I do now than it ever was that I did before."
Gazzy: "I VILL NOW EAT DUH SNICKUHS BAHRS!"
Jace Lightwood: "If you wanted me to rip my clothes off, you could'd just asked."
Molly Weasly: "NOT MY DAUGHTER YOU B*!"
Dumbledore: "I take my hat off to you-- Or, I would, if I wasn't afraid I'd shower you with spiders."
Vernon Dudley: "Godfather? You haven't got a godfather!" Harry Potter: "Yes I have. He's a convicted murderer but he broke out of jail and now he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch. See if I'm happy..."
Will Treaty: "They call me Chocho." Evil General guy: "Butterfly? Then die, Butterfly!"
N'1: "I now pronounce you..." *scowls* "Man and elf."
Mulch Diggums: "And watch out for plasma snakes." Artemis Fowl: "There are plasma snakes?" Mulch: "No,"
Magnus Bane: "Your wards are down, your city is under attack, and you want to know why I haven't called you?" Alec Lightwood: "I want to know why you haven't called me back."
Arthur: "I just wanted you to know, I never doubted you." *Merlin raises eyebrows* "Okay, so maybe a little. But it's not my fault. You've got a suspicious look about you. Like you've got something to hide." Merlin: "I'm an open book." *awkward silence* *Arthur reaches out to slap Merlin on the back* *Merlin starts to hug him* Arthur: "What are you doing?" Merlin: "I thought you were going in for a hug." Arthur: "Nooo..." Merlin: "No..."
Arthur: *throws pillow at Merlin as Uther walks in* *stares at Uther* Merlin: *turns, sees Uther* Uther: *I'm not going to ask...* "Arthur. I need to speak to you." Merlin: *Ah, okay.* Uther: "ALONE." Merlin: *oops* *picks up pillow and scurries out*
Merlin: "You've had your fun, my friend." Arthur: "Do I know you?" Merlin: "No." Arthur: "Yet you called me... friend." Merlin: "That was my mistake." Arthur: "Yeah." Merlin: "I could never be friends with someone who could be such a prat." Arthur: "Tell me, Merlin... Do you know how to walk on your knees?" ... Merlin: *tries to punch Arthur and fails* Arthur: "I could put you in the stocks for that." Merlin: "Why, who do you think you are? The King?" Arthur: "No, I'm his son. Arthur."
Clarissa: *answers phone* "Hello?" Caller: "Hi, I'm one of the knife carrying hooligans you met last night in Pandemonium? I'm afraid I made a bad impression and was hoping you'd give me a change to make it up to -" Clarissa: "SIMON!"
Jace: "I don't want to be a man, I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead." Luke: "Well, you're doing a fantastic job."
Jace: "...in fact, don't touch any of my weapons without my permission." Clary: "Well, there goes my plan for selling them all on ebay," Jace: "Selling them on what?" Clary: "A mythical place of great magical power."
Clary: "So when the moon's only partly full, you only feel a little wolfy?" Luke: "You could say that." Clary: "Well, you can go ahead and hang your head out the car window if you feel like it." Luke: "I'm a werewolf, not a golden retriever."
Jace: "Well, you'll have to wait till tomorrow. I'm out of commission." *points to shirt* "Look. Jammies."
Magnus: "As for this," *slides knife into Jace's jean pocket* "keep it in your pants, Shadowhunter"
Isabelle: "Investigation? Now we're detectives? Maybe we should all have some code names." Jace: "Good Idea, I shall be Baron Hotschaft Von Hugenstein."
Luke: "Jesus!" Simon: "Actually, it's just me. Although I've been told the resemblance is startling."
Couples I support:
Caskett: Need I say more, Castle fans?
Horace/Cassandra: I'm all for the stereotypical knight/princess thing here. It gets Cassy out of my hair for when I steal Willers... And Horace deserves happiness.
Halt/Pauline: Whatever makes Halt happy.
Ron/Hermione: What are you whining about the war for, Harry? It's about dang time!
Holly/Artemis: "No more elf kissing for you." WHAT?! NOOOOOOOO...
Holly/Trouble: Okay, an amazingly bad@$$ couple.
Minerva/Artemis: Oh, the things these two could accomplish. Bonny/Clyde with super high IQs...
Max/Fang: They get into fights, but you can't deny there's a spark there that do more than ignite arguments.
Maya/Fang: Maya's just trying to prove she isn't Max and Fang is trying to prove he can live without Max. It's elementary.
Max/Dylan: They're so cute, what with Max trying not to fall for him and Dylan trying to make her happy anyway.
BramblexSquirrel: YOU HYPOCRITE BRAMBLECLAW!!! You defended your brother against Squirrelflight and you didn't even know him; you didn't tell her about meeting Tigerstar. How can you hate her for lying about the kits, hmm?
Couples I want to break up:
Willyss: Okay, so there's nothing wrong with them, but what about short girls with blonde hair and gray eyes? Don't they get hot Ranger boyfriends?
Jacob/Bella: Brat and jerk.
Iggy/Elle: She's a bit wacko "I was born to have wings!" and Iggy deserves SO much better.
Couples that never have been together and never will be:
Shassie (that's Shawn and Lassiter): Lassie RESPECTS Shawn because of his success, but he hates that Shawn is popular for his success and how he's losing the police force's respect to someone who's never put any real work into becoming an actual cop. And despite Lassie's dislike of that popularity and never-ending campaign to get rid of Spencer, Shawn helps him out when he really needs it because he's actually a good person who wants to be liked every bit as much as Lassie and yet doesn't want to be friends with Lassie because he recognises that Lassie respects him as a crime-solver, not as a jokester and that scares Shawn to death just as much as it scares Lassie that he respects Shawn. Shawn doesn't make fun of Lassie because of that ages old tradition of immature boys making fun of their crush, but because of his own need for the attention his father never gave him--Lassie isn't very well liked, reacts badly, and yet doesn't hold long-standing grudges for minor problems such as wounded ego. He's the perfect butt of jokes. Mostly because Lassie is striving to be the best to make up for what he found to be an unsatisfactory life so far. Your layman relationship analyser would tell you that's an angsty bond between them, but it's really self conflict that is presented by the other's presence. There's a brief psychological analysis of fictional characters for ya.
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