The Narwhal Song: Narwhals, narwhals, Swimming in the ocean, Causing a commotion, Because they are so awesome!

Go Ori!

-000000000-

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to "magically wrap around" Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody! A rock would tear that shiz up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "oh shiz, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!"

Don't follow in my footsteps... I run into walls.

"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity" – Edgar Allen Poe

"A paradox is truth standing on it's head to attract attention" - Nicolas Falletta

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you. - Rita Mae Brown

You're twisted, depraved, and rotten to the core... I like that in a person!

When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that person is crazy. - Dave Barry

When I'm old, I don't want them to say of me, "She's so charming." I want them to say, "Be careful, I think she's armed."

I didn't slap you, I high fived you in the face.

Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

Life is a tragedy to those who feel, a comedy to those who think - fortune cookie

It wasn't attempted murder...I missed.

Ever noticed that "studying" is the word "student" and "dying" put together?

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice and watch the world wonder how you did it.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for my kick boxing.

"A truth told with cruelness beats all the lies you could imagine" - William Blake

Join the Marine Corps, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them.

Never tickle a sleeping dragon.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car.

If I could get a firm grip on reality I'd choke it.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like heck.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

Screw you and the horse you rode in on!-anonymous

They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people.' Well, I think the gun helps, because if you just stood there and yelled, "BANG" I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.

So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

"Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?"

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking leeches?

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

"I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died."

Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable. But that is called 'cannibalism' my dear children, and it is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. - Mark Twain

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Come to the Dark Side... we have cookies!

"I only know how to do things 3 ways: the WRONG way. the RIGHT way. and MY way.which is really the WRONG way, only faster."

You Know You're Obsessed With Harry Potter...

1. When you bump into walls, saying "Maybe they moved it... it HAS to be around here somewhere..."

2. When you go into your basement or bottom apartment and you see a pot filled with water and spices. What, it's Potions!

3. When you call your least favorite teacher Snape

4. When your friends have had to subdue you after one of them said "Harry Potter isn't real"

5. If you're younger than 11, you are convinced you will go to Hogwarts. Eventually.

6. If you're older than 11, you proudly call yourself a "Muggle-born Squib"

7. When your parents have actually banned you from reading Harry Potter(Thankfully no)

8. When you read them at school anyway

9. When you've been Harry Potter for Halloween

10. Even if you're a girl

11. When you own all 10 Harry Potter books.

12. When you know what 10 books I was talking about

13. When you're a brunette, you crimp your hair to become Hermione

14. Even if you're a boy

15. When you see redheads and immediately think 'Weasley... lets go say hi!"

16. When you've made a wand.

17. When you go outside, you look up, and think "Geez, that spell to see the sky had worked really well!"

18. When you hold the escalator very tight in case it moves sideways... what, it moves up why can't it move in other directions?

19. When you see someone with a huge beard you think 'Hagrid"

20. When you keep waiting for your strictest teacher to turn into a cat.

21. When you wave a twig you randomly picked up to see if sparks come out of it.

22. When you've written at least 2 fanfics of it.

23. When you haven't written any fanfics... they're biographies!

24. When you're mad, you mutter "poxie droppings" or something of that sort (Look up 'Wizard Swears' on Youtube!)

25. When you are able to quote long passages of Harry Potter aloud as if it were shakespeare

26. When you've been to jkrowling.com

27. When you turn on a light, you think "Lumos"

28. When you turn it off, you think "Nox"

29. When you are able to draw the Dark Mark

30. When you've memorized the Tale of the Three Brothers

31. When you have deeply reflected on the Tales of Beetle the Bard and found morals and values of ancient wizards.

32. When you have gotten a friend deeply obsessed with the series

33. When you immidiately think of magic when you get a tough problem

34. When you want to "Crucio!" your math/reading/spanish/science/etc. during a boring lesson

35. When you have actually yelled Crucio/Avada Kedavra out loud in the middle of class.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin, The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Empress Caroline of Tamaran, monkyluvr, Darth KenObi-Wan, JediWolfMaster,EwanLuvr4Ever, xXJedi Knight BlazeXx, JaneVolturi, LOSTSOULOFTHEUNDERWORLD, DarkAngel620, Dithinus, Wetstar, Kitty Burglar

46 Ways To Annoy a Non-Harry Potter Fan:

1) Relate everything they say to the Harry Potter books or movies.

2) Crowd their in box with Harry Potter related emails, make the subject misleading.

3) Give them Harry Potter merchandise for their b-day and demand they cherish it 4-ever.

4) Pretend you can do magic.

5) Yell "CRUCIO" whenever they insult Harry Potter.

6) If your late for something blame it on your broken time turner.

7) Sort every person you meet in to one of the four houses.

8) Say "Lumos" every time you turn on a light.

9) If your asked to retrieve something shout "Accio" loudly.

10) Refuse to wash your hair and explain you're going for the Snape look.

11) Spend hours at a time trying to make your broom fly.

12) Tap all brick walls you encounter with an umbrella.

13) Demand to know what exactly the function of a rubber duck is.

14) Carry around a hip flask and refuse to drink anything anyone else offers you.

15) Hum the Harry Potter theme all day long.

16) Talk to animals and insist that they're animagi.

17) Walk up to random people and ask if their initials are R.A.B.

18) Tell them that they're almost as smart as Grawp.

19) Refuse to tell them who Grawp is.

20) Whenever it gets foggy outside scream "The Dementors are coming!" and hide for days at a time.

21) Point at modern electronic devices and say "Look at that! The things these muggles come up with!"

22) Point and grunt and insist that your speaking troll.

23) Take them to a CD store and make them look for the new Weird Sisters Album.

24) Always speak with a British accent, especially if your not from th

e U.K.

25) Draw round glasses and a lightening bolt scar on every poster you come across.

26) Constantly compare them to Mrs. Figg.

27) Laugh evilly if they ask who Mrs. Figg is.

28) Complain loudly about how your pictures don't move.

29) Break any awkward silences by saying "How 'bout them Chudley Canons."

30) Say "Alhomora" every time you open a door.

31) Every time you see them demand an explanation of why they don't like harry potter.

32) Say everything in a sing-song voice like Luna Lovegood.

33) Shriek loudly and say that you're speaking Mermish.

34) If they ask you about the weather solemnly say, "Mars is bright tonight."

35) Pretend your under an invisibility cloak and shout "You can't see me!"

36) Knit them a maroon jumper every year, especially if maroon isn't

there color.

37) Draw the sign of the Hallow on every surface in the house.

38) While playing chess with them, stare at your pieces and give them verbal commands.

39) Throw the chess board across the room when the pieces don't move.

40) When one of the movies is on TV remind them every five minutes.

41) Refer to random people as "You-Know-Who."

42) Start swatting at the air saying there's a wrackspurt around.

43) Ask them to help you study for your O.W.L.'S

44) Walk around bumping into walls explaining your looking for the Room of Requirement.

45) Run up to random men with long dark hair and scream "SIRIUS! I always knew you were alive!"

46) Tell them that You-Know-Who was defeated today. When they ask who's you-know-who pretend to be offended and don't tell them who he is.

Homophobia and You: They're people too! Stop the hate and spread the love!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.