Author has written 6 stories for Harry Potter, Hobbit, and Lord of the Rings.
The Narwhal Song: Narwhals, narwhals, Swimming in the ocean, Causing a commotion, Because they are so awesome!
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to "magically wrap around" Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody! A rock would tear that shiz up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "oh shiz, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!"
Don't follow in my footsteps... I run into walls.
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity" – Edgar Allen Poe
"A paradox is truth standing on it's head to attract attention" - Nicolas Falletta
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you. - Rita Mae Brown
You're twisted, depraved, and rotten to the core... I like that in a person!
When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that person is crazy. - Dave Barry
When I'm old, I don't want them to say of me, "She's so charming." I want them to say, "Be careful, I think she's armed."
I didn't slap you, I high fived you in the face.
Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
Life is a tragedy to those who feel, a comedy to those who think - fortune cookie
It wasn't attempted murder...I missed.
Ever noticed that "studying" is the word "student" and "dying" put together?
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice and watch the world wonder how you did it.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for my kick boxing.
"A truth told with cruelness beats all the lies you could imagine" - William Blake
Join the Marine Corps, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them.
Never tickle a sleeping dragon.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car.
If I could get a firm grip on reality I'd choke it.
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like heck.
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz
Screw you and the horse you rode in on!-anonymous
They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people.' Well, I think the gun helps, because if you just stood there and yelled, "BANG" I don't think you'd kill too many people.
Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
"Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?"
"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking leeches?
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
"I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died."
Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable. But that is called 'cannibalism' my dear children, and it is in fact frowned upon in most societies.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. - Mark Twain
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
Come to the Dark Side... we have cookies!
"I only know how to do things 3 ways: the WRONG way. the RIGHT way. and MY way.which is really the WRONG way, only faster."
You Know You're Obsessed With Harry Potter...
1. When you bump into walls, saying "Maybe they moved it... it HAS to be around here somewhere..."
2. When you go into your basement or bottom apartment and you see a pot filled with water and spices. What, it's Potions!
3. When you call your least favorite teacher Snape
4. When your friends have had to subdue you after one of them said "Harry Potter isn't real"
5. If you're younger than 11, you are convinced you will go to Hogwarts. Eventually.
6. If you're older than 11, you proudly call yourself a "Muggle-born Squib"
7. When your parents have actually banned you from reading Harry Potter(Thankfully no)
8. When you read them at school anyway
9. When you've been Harry Potter for Halloween
10. Even if you're a girl
11. When you own all 10 Harry Potter books.
12. When you know what 10 books I was talking about
13. When you're a brunette, you crimp your hair to become Hermione
14. Even if you're a boy
15. When you see redheads and immediately think 'Weasley... lets go say hi!"
16. When you've made a wand.
17. When you go outside, you look up, and think "Geez, that spell to see the sky had worked really well!"
18. When you hold the escalator very tight in case it moves sideways... what, it moves up why can't it move in other directions?
19. When you see someone with a huge beard you think 'Hagrid"
20. When you keep waiting for your strictest teacher to turn into a cat.
21. When you wave a twig you randomly picked up to see if sparks come out of it.
22. When you've written at least 2 fanfics of it.
23. When you haven't written any fanfics... they're biographies!
24. When you're mad, you mutter "poxie droppings" or something of that sort (Look up 'Wizard Swears' on Youtube!)
25. When you are able to quote long passages of Harry Potter aloud as if it were shakespeare
26. When you've been to jkrowling.com
27. When you turn on a light, you think "Lumos"
28. When you turn it off, you think "Nox"
29. When you are able to draw the Dark Mark
30. When you've memorized the Tale of the Three Brothers
31. When you have deeply reflected on the Tales of Beetle the Bard and found morals and values of ancient wizards.
32. When you have gotten a friend deeply obsessed with the series
33. When you immidiately think of magic when you get a tough problem
34. When you want to "Crucio!" your math/reading/spanish/science/etc. during a boring lesson
35. When you have actually yelled Crucio/Avada Kedavra out loud in the middle of class.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin, The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Empress Caroline of Tamaran, monkyluvr, Darth KenObi-Wan, JediWolfMaster,EwanLuvr4Ever, xXJedi Knight BlazeXx, JaneVolturi, LOSTSOULOFTHEUNDERWORLD, DarkAngel620, Dithinus, Wetstar, Kitty Burglar
46 Ways To Annoy a Non-Harry Potter Fan:
1) Relate everything they say to the Harry Potter books or movies.
2) Crowd their in box with Harry Potter related emails, make the subject misleading.
3) Give them Harry Potter merchandise for their b-day and demand they cherish it 4-ever.
4) Pretend you can do magic.
5) Yell "CRUCIO" whenever they insult Harry Potter.
6) If your late for something blame it on your broken time turner.
7) Sort every person you meet in to one of the four houses.
8) Say "Lumos" every time you turn on a light.
9) If your asked to retrieve something shout "Accio" loudly.
10) Refuse to wash your hair and explain you're going for the Snape look.
11) Spend hours at a time trying to make your broom fly.
12) Tap all brick walls you encounter with an umbrella.
13) Demand to know what exactly the function of a rubber duck is.
14) Carry around a hip flask and refuse to drink anything anyone else offers you.
15) Hum the Harry Potter theme all day long.
16) Talk to animals and insist that they're animagi.
17) Walk up to random people and ask if their initials are R.A.B.
18) Tell them that they're almost as smart as Grawp.
19) Refuse to tell them who Grawp is.
20) Whenever it gets foggy outside scream "The Dementors are coming!" and hide for days at a time.
21) Point at modern electronic devices and say "Look at that! The things these muggles come up with!"
22) Point and grunt and insist that your speaking troll.
23) Take them to a CD store and make them look for the new Weird Sisters Album.
24) Always speak with a British accent, especially if your not from th
25) Draw round glasses and a lightening bolt scar on every poster you come across.
26) Constantly compare them to Mrs. Figg.
27) Laugh evilly if they ask who Mrs. Figg is.
28) Complain loudly about how your pictures don't move.
29) Break any awkward silences by saying "How 'bout them Chudley Canons."
30) Say "Alhomora" every time you open a door.
31) Every time you see them demand an explanation of why they don't like harry potter.
32) Say everything in a sing-song voice like Luna Lovegood.
33) Shriek loudly and say that you're speaking Mermish.
34) If they ask you about the weather solemnly say, "Mars is bright tonight."
35) Pretend your under an invisibility cloak and shout "You can't see me!"
36) Knit them a maroon jumper every year, especially if maroon isn't
37) Draw the sign of the Hallow on every surface in the house.
38) While playing chess with them, stare at your pieces and give them verbal commands.
39) Throw the chess board across the room when the pieces don't move.
40) When one of the movies is on TV remind them every five minutes.
41) Refer to random people as "You-Know-Who."
42) Start swatting at the air saying there's a wrackspurt around.
43) Ask them to help you study for your O.W.L.'S
44) Walk around bumping into walls explaining your looking for the Room of Requirement.
45) Run up to random men with long dark hair and scream "SIRIUS! I always knew you were alive!"
46) Tell them that You-Know-Who was defeated today. When they ask who's you-know-who pretend to be offended and don't tell them who he is.
Homophobia and You: They're people too! Stop the hate and spread the love!
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
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