IMPORTANT NOTE PLEASE READ: I WILL NO LONGER BE WRITING ON HERE, I AM ON WATTPAD IF YOU WANT TO READ ANY OF MY ORIGINAL WORKS. MY ACCOUNT IS: @HannahJ18 THANKS AND SORRY

It's been awhile since I updated this but here goes:

I'm 18 and live in England, at the moment I'm looking for a job. I read anything that's put in front of me but I prefer Terry Pratchett, Harry Potter, Twilight and the Eragon books. My favourite films involve anything marvel; Daredevil, X-men 1, 2 &3, Wolverine origins, Thor, Iron man 1 & 2 and Captain America. I also like Van Helsing and the Pirates of the Carribean series.

Favourite quotes

"Did everybody see that because I shall not be doing it again?" Captain Jack Sparrow.

"Do I look like a man who exaggerates?" Wolverine AKA Logan.

"You big trouble, you lighten up, you get in the car" Rick O'Connell (the mummy returns)

"Hey Stinky," Hellboy

I'll add some when I remember some more funny ones

Things my mother taught me

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

.••) .•) .•.•) .•)
(.• (.•Pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has SURVIVED, died, or is living with cancer!

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a ditz
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I must be a slut.
I'm BRITISH, so I MUST use funny words all the time.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST say "Eh" every other word.
I'm a GIRL AND I LIKE SPORTS, so I MUST be a total tomboy.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be doing them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE, so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER, so I MUST do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK, so I must only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm ASIAN, so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.
I draw ANIME, so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL, so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD, so I MUST be spoiled. (Dude, I wish!)
I'm INTELLIGENT, so I MUST be weak.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE. (no, it just doesn't strike my interest)
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT, so MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND, so I MUST be Lesbian.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I like YURI, so I MUST be a lesbian.
I like YAOI, so I must be gay or perverted.
I don't wear MAKEUP, so I MUST look ugly.

I wear makeup, so I must be a slut.

I'm in ORCHESTRA, so I MUST be a geek.
I like SCREAMO music, so I MUST worship the devil.
I play PIANO, so I MUST know how to play every instrument.
I have GLASSES, so I MUST be smart.
I'm QUIET, so I MUST be anti-social.
I don't like CANDY that much, so I MUST not like sweets.
I like TECHNO and INDUSTRIAL, so I MUST go to raves.
I'm SHY, so I MUST be insecure.
I play the VIOLIN, so I MUST be ASIAN. (What the fuck?)
I can wear a SIZE 0, so I MUST anorexic.
I wanna be a DOCTOR, so I MUST love blood and guts. (well i want to be a vet, an animal doctor so does that count?)

I have a great MEMORY, so I MUST be smart.

I have STOLEN, so I MUST be a THEIF.(Who hasn't? I know you have, don't lie to me!)
I have a DEVIANTART, so I MUST want to get discovered.
I hate MYSPACE, so I MUST have no life or friends.
I like to CUSS a lot, so I MUST I have anger issues.
I don't like SCHOOL, so I MUST be STUPID.
I like to CLEAN, so I MUST be a neat freak.
I like to BUY everything I see, so I MUST be a SHOPAHOLIC.
I wear VANS, so I MUST be a SKATEBOARDER.
I wear CONVERSE, so I MUST be PUNK.
I don't go to the MALL, so I MUST not have a LIFE.
I don't like to EAT A LOT, so I MUST be BULIMIC.
I hate CHOCOLATE, so I MUST hate all sweets.
I watch OLD SHOWS, so I MUST be stuck in the past.
I like RAINBOWS, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm OPEN MINED, so I MUST do everything.
I hate RAIN, so I MUST not like water.
I think MILK is disgusting, so I MUST be lactose intolerant.
I like going to RESTAURANTS, so I MUST be fat.
I hate the subject of SEX, so I MUST be prude.
I actually LAUGH during HORROR MOVIES, so I MUST have no SYMPATHY. (Well just Sweeney Todd; The Demon Barber of Fleet Street is that even a horror?)
I like to BAKE and COOK, so I MUST be FAT.
I think ANIME BOYS are better than REAL BOYS, so I MUST be CRAZY.
I can't stand TWILIGHT, so I MUST be a loser.
I love VAMPIRES, so I MUST be WEIRD.
I have BRACES, so I MUST look like a nerd.
I dislike my BODY, so I MUST have poor SELF IMAGE.
I love KID MOVIES, so I MUST be CHILDISH. (Disney rules!!)

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you’re cool... and a lot of the songs fit with the setting

Opening Credits: Hero of the day Metallica S&M version

Waking Up: Radiosurgery New Found Glory

First Day at School: Thriller Fall Out Boy

Falling In Love: Loverboy (Live) You Me At Six

Fight Song: Geek Stink Breath Green Day

Breaking Up: Fuel Metallica S&M version

Prom night: The Carpal Tunnel Of Love Fall Out Boy

Life: The Call of Ktulu Metallica S&M version

Mental Breakdown: Ride The Lightening Metallica

Driving: The Ecstasy of Gold Metallica S&M version

Flashback: El Paso Taking Back Sunday

Getting back together: 2 x 4 Metallica

Wedding: Who Knows Avril Lavigne

Birth of Child: Armatage Shanks Green Day

Final Battle: Metal Militia Metallica

Funeral Song: Feelin' way too good Nickelback (Ironic much?)

Final Credits: If Today Was Your Last Day Nickelback (Funny... Not!)

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that has stayed loyal to either rock or metal, put this in your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever sung a song you hated so much, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventilated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If you avoid teen fads and don't live your life according to others copy and paste this.

If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile (usually when they won't do what i want them to do, Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix for the Wii on easy. DON'T DO IT)

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile. (Usually soaps, i've got to stop watching them)

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room for no reason copy this into your profile (especially when people tell me to be quiet)

If with no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, copy this into your profile. (Sweeney Todd, when he's killing everybody left, right and center)

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just one review, paste this into your profile.

If you have ever stared at a computer screen for hours and hours reading stories that people who have no lives whatsoever and have enough obsession with something to write a story about it have written, and you are one of the aforementioned people, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could have clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile. (Yesterday at college i walked into the side of the door frame)

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you're easily confused or confuzzled add this to you're profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

I LOVE CHRISTMAS AND ESPECIALLY THE SNOW!!!

Christmas songs rock, it's the only time artists can get away with being totally cheesy and over the top