Author has written 2 stories for Naruto.
There is only one thing to know about me, I . Love . Manga . Anime . Japanese Music . And . Fanfiction . That . Is . All . LOL . :D
Put this on your
I am only 8 inches long
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile(Almost Okay!)
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
-If you hate (or close to hate if you're a non-hater) those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
-If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
-If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
-If you hate child abuse and want it to STOP, copy and past this on your profile.
-If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.
-If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
-If you have ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this into your profile
-If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile!
-If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
-If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai,AkatsukiFan, Elmocrazy,XxKimimaro's-little-stalkerxX, xxlonely-avengerxx, XxItachi's-Little-StalkerxX, XxMadara's-Little-Stalkerxx, xXFallenSakuraXx,freak-4-God, HiHi-Ai,animemusicnut,
-If you wish to see the Akatsuki take over the world at the end of Naruto, copy and paste this into your profile.(Its gonna be hilarious)
-If you love rain(weather), copy and paste this into your profile.
-If you have ever stared at a computer screen for hours and hours reading stories that people who have no lives what so ever and have enough obsession with something to write a story about it and you are one of those people, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, WhiteWinged Alchemist, Yasu Uchiha,ramenlover4, Gaara's_Pandachan101,Evilfangirl ,Mood-chan, xxlonely-avengerxx, XxMadara's-Little-StalkerxX, xXFallenSakuraXx,freak-4-God, HiHi-Ai,animemusicnut
-If you believe Itachi has secret laughing fits when no one's looking, copy and paste this into your profile(Hell yeah!!!)-/_\-
-If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought impossible to choke on), copy this in your profile.
If your part of the WE HATE KARIN CLUB post your profile and add your name to the list: Pink Crescent Moon, Miyako-hime, XSakuraHarunoX, I'm in love with a Uchiha23, Angel of Cherry Blossoms, Cherrilatina, CherryBlossoms16, Rayray, Sakura the lover, Sasusakufan2357, Lina Mistress of Elements, xnarutoxrocksx, uchihasakurah26, Nokas-Kokas, NorthernLights25, KunoichruleALL, kawaiiblossom94, dera-chan, Mai-'-Kawaii-Ai, Ebil Chameleon you.broke.a.promise., XweaponsXmistressX, Sakura-Sasuke-love-em', SASUXSAKUFREAK, PinkBlossem, Shadow Princess, CherryBlossoms, Hinatakura, Sakuranata, uchihasakura285, KuroHime27, fumiko-chan, Dangerously Emerald, Kawaii Chibi-kun,animemusicnut,
If you want to learn Japanese, copy/paste this into your profile.
Number your 12 fave Naruto characters (In no order) and answer the questions!
5.Itachi(The weasel tree)
7.Hidan(I love cursing and swearing! Its a habit for me-)
10.Kakashi(Anti Gravity Hair!!!)
12.Shikamaru(For being a lazy-ass like me,not for the smartness)
1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?
Not yet... XD
2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
I'm not lesbian.. But she's a very sweet and pretty girl (:
3) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
O_O Shikamaru getting Konan pregnant... That is soo unexpected... Well,Pein will be pissed. :D
4) Do you recall any fics about Nine?
5) Would Two and Six make a good couple?
Why not? :)
6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten?
Itachi/Pein and Itachi/Kakashi? Both are pretty hot ;)
7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?
Hidan walking in to Temari and Shikamaru having sex!? Bet he'd hide somewhere and continue watching
8) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten Fanfic?
Writer's block! @.@
9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff?
Why not? (:
10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.
The Cow Jumps Over Da Moon XD
11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?
12) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?
What does het mean?
13) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?
Unfortunately I'm the only Naruto fan around my friends TT
14) Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five
They don't even watch anime TT
15) What might ten scream at a moment of great passion?
16) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?
Playing God by Paramore X3
17) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
18) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?
I swear I will never be late for any date, sooooo, will you date me?
19) How might Eleven describe a relationship between Two and Eight?
I'd never thought I'd be interested in this O.O
20) How emo is Seven?
If you consider Hidan loving pain, than he is really emo, but a more cheerful emo than duck-ass that is.
1) Who is your favorite character(s)? Sakura!
2) What is your favorite pairing(s)? Sakucentric!
3) Are you a Naruto yaoi or hentai fan? None,I'm underage =.=;
4) Ever cosplayed Naruto characters? No, never. (Shyness OVERLOAD)
5) List your collection of Naruto junk and merchandise. Too much to count :D
6) Have you ever felt you were destined to be with a Naruto character? If so, who? Sometimes... Probably a hot guy, not sure yet
7) NaruHina or KibaHina? NaruHina
8) SasuSaku or SasuNaru? SasuSaku (Better than Yaoi)
9) Which team is your favorite? The New Team 7
10) Do you support the Obito theory? (Tobi=Obito) Why not?
11) Do you support the 'Yondaime is Naruto's father' theory? Yeah.
12) Your favorite Akatsuki member? Konan - So pretty and elegant
13) Are you Pro-Sasuke or Anti-Sasuke? Anti-Duckass
14) Have you seen all of the Naruto episodes so far (including Shippuden and fillers)? Yes!!!!!!
15) Have you read all the chapters so far? Uh huh!!!!!!
16) Do you believe Naruto has ADD? Totally.
17) Sub or dub? Suuuuuubbbb!!!!! Dubs are plain weird ==
18) Pro-Sakura or Anti-Sakura? Pro, forever
19) Tobi= Annoying or funny? Both
20) Do you even know who Tobi is? No shit sherlock.
21) Gai= Sexy beast or ugly nerd? Ugly nerd.
22) Which character would be the best cross dresser? Deidara
23) Rock Lee= Weird or awesome? Weird.
24) Which character would be the best OOC? Who and how? Hinata. She is actually an evil genius
25) Do you like Naruto fan fictions? I'm completely obsessed.
26) Do you write Naruto fan fictions? Am starting now
27) Do you like lemons? Nah
28) Do your parents know about the Naruto characters? No.
29) Have you ever watched the Naruto Abridged series? Yes.
30) Have you seen the Naruto Ultimate fan flashes? YES!
31) Have you ever got someone else hooked on Naruto? YES!!!!!!My BFFS!!!!
32) Have you ever been drawing Naruto in school and someone recognized it? No, I'm a good hider of my drawings.
33) Have you ever been in class drawing Naruto and your teacher came up to you and say 'WTF is this?' No
34) Has Naruto affected your life and grades? YESSSSSSS to both,it improved everything!!
35) Are you broke thanks to Naruto? Nope
36) Do you want to read Icha Icha Paradise? Nope
37) Do you support the 'Yondaime is the Akatsuki Leader' theory? Nope,never did
38) Do you draw Naruto fan art? All the time
39) Is Sasuke still sexy in the second stage of the curse seal? He never was sexy
40) Do you have a Naruto OC? I have like 10.
41) Looking back at some of your answers, do you think Naruto has taken over your life? HELL YEAH!!!!!!
Characters Favorite: Sakura FTW
Least favorite: Karin and Ami
Favorite girl: Sakura
Favorite boy: Idk
Favorite Kage: Tsunade and Gaara
Favorite villain: Akatsuki
Least Favorite Villain: Oro-I rape little boys with my tongue-chimaru & Kabuto
Person most like you: Hidan without religions
What do you think of Sakura: AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What you think of Choji: I love barbeque too!!!
What do you think of Ino: Don't be such a slut!
What do you think of Sasuke: I haven't got my cootie shot yet,duck-ass bitch
What do you think of Lee: L0Lz, Pretty Youthful :)
What do you think of Neji: 50m stick up his ass, but still awesome, anyway
What do you think of Naruto: Baka, but you got me hooked on ramen
What do think of Oro: Disgusting
What do you think of Hinata: She should really ask Naruto out TT0TT
Ino or Sakura: Sakura.The answer's pretty obvious
Kiba or Shikamaru: Shikamaru
Neji or Lee: Neji
Tenten or Temari: Temari!!!
Naruto or Sasuke: Naruto
Gai or Kakashi:. Kakashi
Hinata or Hanabi: Hinata.
Sasuke or Itachi: Itachi!
Sharingan or Byakugan: SHARINGAN!!!
Mind or shadow control: Mind control
Fire or Water: Water
Air or Earth: Air
Favorite Element: Water & Air & Lighting and pretty much all the elements
Summon frog, snake, or slug: Slugs are the best!
Genjutsu, Ninjutsu, or Taijutsu: Taijutsu and Genjutsu And Ninjutsu
Weapon: Minato's Awesome Teleporting Kunai
Chidori or Rasengan: Both combined
Shadow clone or Transformation: Transformation!
Who should Naruto be with: Hinata
Choji: Hid Potato Chips and BBQ Food *Drools*
Shino: Sakura ( I Just Read A Sweet Fic About This,Totally KAWAII!!!!)
Are Ino and Sakura too obsessed with Sasuke? Ino is,Sakura just acted
Best Sensei: Tsunade (Though her training looks pretty scary)
Should Sasuke die: HELL YEAH!!!!
Which girl looks better post-timeskip: Sakura
What girl looks worst post-timeskip: Ino
What guy looks best post-timeskip: Idk
Which guy looks worst post-timeskip: Sasuke
What's the best episode: All the episodes of the Sakura VS Sasori fight. Every episode with Sakura kicking ass in it.
What's the worst: Bitches appearing ; Eg. Karin...
Funniest: When Sora came in and started a huge fight with Akamaru, Kiba and Choji and Naruto got into it then Lee randomly came in and was all 'What? I wanna friendly fight too!'
Weirdest: Same answer as previous question.
Do Fillers suck: Yuppy
Dubs or orginal: Original
Anime or Manga: Manga but Anime is a close second.
Favorite manga chapter: Explained already with anime
Least: No kick butt action
Have you seen the movies: All of them.
Are you a Narutard: Addict
Have you cosplay-ed, if so, as who: No
Do you own any Naruto items: ALOT
Have you read every manga: I think so.
Have you watched every anime: Yes.
Was this quiz troublesome: A lil'
Did you understand that "joke": Uh huh *Shikamaru*
Karin is so fat, not even Naruto can believe it!
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "DAMN!" we messed up!
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won’t tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you’re not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!
I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up,
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear,
7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less
16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll
And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll
You know you're an ANIME OTAKU when...
1. You head to the library every second day to find another manga
2. You listen in on people's conversations to see if they speak of anime
3. You accidentally swore in japanese and everyone asked you what the hell you were saying
4. You heard that a new episode of an anime is coming out and put off everything including your daily shower to watch it
Translations: Japan - English (((not by me!)))
Jobun = Foreword
Ichi = One
Haru = Spring
Sayonara = Goodbye
Moshi moshi? = Hello? ("Moshi moshi?", is something they say everytime they answer the phone)
Oh dear Kami-sama = Oh dear Lord / Oh dear God
Nakama = It can mean friend, but has a much stronger meaning to it like: Super-duper-bestest-friend-in-the-whole-wide-world-where-nothing-can-ever-ever-ever-EVER-tear-us-apart...
Koibito / Amate = Lover
Anata = means 'you' but also can mean 'dear'
Koi = Love
Koishii = Dearest / Sweetheart
Ichizoku = Family or Clan, ex. The Uchiha Ichizoku (The Uchiha Clan)
Otou-sama, Otou-san, Otou-chan, Tou-sama, Tou-san, Tou-chan, Chichioya (Chichiue),'Oyaji' = Father, dad, 'Old man'
Okaa-sama, Okaa-san, Okaa-chan, Kaa-sama, Kaa-san, Kaa-chan, Hahaoya (Hahaue) = Mother, mom
Onii-sama, Onii-san, Onii-chan, Nii-sama, Nii-san, Nii-chan, Aniki, Ani, (Name, ex. Naruto)-nii = Older brother, Big brother, (Ani) brother equally, big brother (Naruto)
Onee-sama, Onee-san, Onee-chan, Nee-sama, Nee-san, Nee-chan, (Name, ex. Sakura)-nee = Older sister, Big sister, big sister (Sakura)
Otouto-sama, Otouto-san, Otouto-kun, Otouto-chan, Otouto, (Name, ex. Sasuke)-otouto = Younger brother, little brother, baby brother, little brother (Sasuke)
Imouto-sama, Imouto-san, Imouto-chan, Imouto, (Name, ex. Hanabi)-imouto = Younger sister, little sister, baby sister, little sister (Hanabi)
Ojii-sama, Ojii-san, Ojii-chan, Jii-sama, Jii-san, Jii-chan, 'Oyaji' = Grandfather, 'Old man'
Obaa-sama, Obaa-san, Obaa-chan, Baa-sama, Baa-san, Baa-chan, Sobo = Grandmother, Granny, 'Old hag'
Oji-sama, Oji-san, Oji-chan, Ji-sama, Ji-san, Ji-chan = Uncle
Itoko-sama, Itoko-san, Itoko-kun, Itoko-chan = Cousin
Ossan = Old man / Mister
Onna = Woman
Gaki = Brat
-sama = For higher status, ex. Hokage, Clan Head, ex. Tsunade-sama, Hiashi-sama
-san = For people you respect, ex. Kakashi-san, or with surname only: Hatake-san
-kun = For a boy / man you are familiar with, ex. Sasuke-kun
-chan = For a girl woman you are familiar with, also refered to cute, ex. Sakura-chan
-sensei = For a teacher, doctor, ex. Iruka-sensei, Tsunade-sensei
-taichou = For a captain, ex. Hatake-taichou (Captain Hatake)
-shishou = For boss or a teacher in a job, ex. Tsunade-shishou (By Sakura)
-senpai = For a senior in school or in a job, ex. Neji-senpai
-kouhai (Sp?) = For a junior in school or in a job, ex. Naruto-kouhai
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmaun mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs rpsoet it.
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What Makes 100 percent? What does it mean to give MORE than 100 percent? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100 percent? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100 percent. How about achieving 103 percent? What makes up 100 percent in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while HARDWORK and KNOWLEDGE will get you close, and ATTITUDE will get you there, its really the BULLSHIT and the ASSKISSING that will put you over the top.
AQUARIUS- The Sweetheart (Jan 20-Feb 18) Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but can be original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality. That's ME! XD
PISCES- The Dreamer (Feb 19-Mar 20) Generous, kind and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secrative and vague. Sensitive. Doesn't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Symathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful.
ARIES-The Daredevil (Mar 21- Apr 19) Energetic. Advernturous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse (easily angered). Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.
TAURUS- The Enduring One (Apr 20-May 20) Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their own way. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to furious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.
GEMINI- The Chatterbox (May 21-June 20) Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptible but needs to express themselves. Arguementive and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial and inconsistent. Beautiful physically and mentally.
CANCER- The Protector (June 21-July 22) Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from everyone. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.
LEO- The Boss (July 23-Aug 22) Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Likes to help others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to the Leo's. Attractive.
VIRGO- The Perfectionist Dominant (Aug 23-Sept 22) In relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Arguementive. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hard working. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.
LIBRA- The Harmonizer (Sept 23-Oct 22) Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.
SCORPIO- The Intense One (Oct 23-Nov 21) Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hard working. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secrative. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and emotional. (Holy shit that's me alright!... Hehe I'm attractive :3)
SAGITTARIUS- The Happy-Go-Lucky One (Nov 22-Dec 21) Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up. Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsiblities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out.
CAPRICORN- The Go-Getter (Dec 22-Jan19) Patient and wise. Practiacl and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimistic. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be unfriendly at times. Hold grudges. Like competitions. Get what they want.
LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES (I Find This Extremely Funny As I AM A Chinese)
These kittens look so kawaii, ne? What about this one:
Kittens don't look right when they're beat up and have black eyes. Help stop animal abuse.
101 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I think we’ve got a Code 3 in Housewares,” and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to “10″.
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi! I haven’t seen you in so long!…” etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, “Who BUYS this junk, anyway?”
15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you’re taking it for a “test drive.”
17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, “Wow. Magic!”
20. Put M&M’s on layaway.
21. Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can “catch” from the other aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,”…I’m Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!”
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell “hello” upside down.
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, “Why won’t you people just leave me alone?”
30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., “Do you have any Shnerples here?”
31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
32. Take bets on the battle described above.
33. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from “Mission: Impossible.”
35. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him ” I need some tampons!!”
36. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.
37. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Say things like, “Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?”
41. Set up a “Valet Parking” sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: “Marco Polo.”
43. Leave Cheerios inand , pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
44. “Re-alphabetize” the CD’s in.
45. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms
46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
47. Relax in theand open the until you get kicked out.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, “No, no! It’s those voices again!”
49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don’t get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
51. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible “sex and candy”
52. Try putting different pairs of women’s panties on your head and walk around the store casually.
53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
54. Nonchalantly “test” the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, “Red Rover!”
56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
57. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)
58. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
59. While no one’s watching quickly switch the men’s and women’s signs on the doors of the rest room.
60. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone’s jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
61. In the auto department, practice your “Madonna” look with various funnels.
62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like “the fat man walks alone,” and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them
63. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Ex: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying “How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling.” Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.
64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying “Good girl, good bessie.”
66. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
68. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. “hi!!!! (giggle) What’s your sign?(giggle).” When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. “hi!!!! (giggle) What’s your sign?(giggle).”
69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don’t realize it!
70. Walk around the perfume department with a bottle of super strong perfume and spray people as they walk by. Lean in and sniff them then jump back and wave your hand in front of your nose and saying “Oh god, your over powering the perfume!!”
71. Hit on the elderly.
72. Hit on 5 year olds.
73. In the food aisle, pretend like there’s a little bug, slowly move your head to the right, then swing your head to the left as if your trying to follow it. Slowly lower your head to the ground, then start spinning around in circles stomping like crazy. Then finally yell out “Yes!!! I got it!!! Wow, that was the biggest Cockrouch I’ve ever seen, i think it was pregnant!!! Hey look, there’s another one!!!” Then Repeat.
74. Repeat 73 with a can of bug spray.
75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat. Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc.
76. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a prissy English Man. Say things like “Cheerio, good man.” to people who walk by. And don’t forget to have perfect posture.
77. Start grunting like Beavis and Butthead while chasing your friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don’t know you.
78. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if your on a hoarse, then pretend that your a cowboy, etc.. And If a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start barking at them until they run away crying.
79. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind customers and “accidentally” hit the people instead of your friend.
80. Excesively use anything thing that says “Try Me”.
81. Start pocketing any and all free samples.
82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.
82. Walk up to the customer service and when they say “Hello, how may I help you?” say “Yes, I’ll have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of french fries and a diet coke.” And when they start to talk, say “Oh, to go”. Then when they say that they can’t give it to you say “Oh, This is because I’m gay isn’t it? I’d expect this from Caldors, but not Walmart. People who are gay are just like everyone else your know. You disgust me” Then walk away mumbling to yourself. If your a guy, try to act as valley-girl-like as you can
83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream is because your family and all your friends seem to have a rash too.
84. When your alone, have loud conversations with your “multiple personalities”. Have an English man, a Southern person, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old girl all at the same time. You have to use accents. They should sound like this: “Great idea good fellow, we shall have a jolly good time.(English)” “Look, oall I wanna do, is wok ta Stawbucks and git a cawfee(New York)” Etc.
85. Start “dancing” like mad. Basically, just wail your arms and legs around like your having some kind of massive seizure.
86. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store.
87. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as your walking through the doors As if your suspecting the alarms to go off. Then when it doesn’t go off, let out a big sigh. Then quickly look around you to see who’s watching and run away as fast as your can.
88. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song.
89. Put jockstraps in the lingerie department
90. Put lingerie in the men’s department.
91. Put super sexy lingerie in old men’s carts when they turn around.
92. When your alone, start screaming help and yelling that someone istrying to rape you. Then when everyone runs over, start crying and saying “All I ever wanted was a little attention” Then run away crying.
93. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while, start saying blink everytime it blinks. Don’t look away, just stay mesmerized.
94. Walk up to a lady and calmly say “Help me. The voices in my head are telling me to do naughty things.” Then clap your hands over your ears, fly yell head around and start screaming “NO!!! I DON’T WANT TO HURT THE NICE LADY NO NO NO NO!!!!” Then suddenly stop, look her straight in the eyes, and Calmly say “I…will start…a fire…” The pull out a zippo and start laughing hysterically in an evil way. But don’t light the zippo, just hold it closed.
95. Light a match under a sprinkler.
96. Walk up to someone and say “Oh, so your back for more. I warned you never to come back here. Wait here while i go get my shot gun”. Then walk away.
97. Walk up to a guy and say “Oh my god, is it you? Oh my god it is!!! I haven’t seen you in so long!!!!” Then kiss him. Then slap and him say “Why didn’t you ever call me??” Then walk away. Much more affective if you’re a guy.
98. Stand next to a maniquin and pretend that your a mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check your watch and say. “Finally, my shift is done. I really don’t get paid enough to do this”
99. Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone.
100. Act like your about to cry and ask people “Have you seen my mommy?”
101. Steal a Walmart shirt. The possibilities are endless.
BONUS* Attempt all of the above during the same visit.
DADDY'S TEN RULES OF DATING*
Rule One:If you pull into my driveway and honk
you'd better be delivering a package, because
you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of
me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not
peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep
your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will
Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered
fashionable for boys of your age to wear their
trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling
off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult,
but you and all of your friends are complete
idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded
about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You
may come to the door with your underwear showing
and your pants ten sizes to big, and I will not
object. However, in order to ensure that your
clothes do not, in fact come off during the course
of you date with my daughter, I will take my
electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely
in place to your waist.
Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in
today's world, sex without utilizing a "Barrier
method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate,
when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will
Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order
for us to get to know each other, we should talk
about sports, politics, and other issues of the
day. Please do not do this. The only information I
require from you is an indication of when you
expect to have my daughter safely back at my house,
and the only word I need from you on this subject
Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow,
with many opportunities to date other girls. This is
fine with me as long as
it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you
have gone out with my little girl, you will continue
to date no one but her until she is finished with
you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway,
waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an
hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to
be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.
My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than
can take longer than painting the Golden Gate
Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't
you do something useful, like changing the oil in
Rule Eight: The following places are not
appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places
where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than
a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness.
Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or
happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is
warm enough to introduce my daughter to wear
shorts,tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything
other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down
parka -- zipped up to her throat. Movies with a
strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided;
movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey
games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine:Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a
potbellied,balding, middle-aged, dimwitted
has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I
am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe.
If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you
have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole
truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a
shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not
trifle with me.
Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very
little for me to mistake the sound of your car in
the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice
paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting
up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to
clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my
daughter home. As soon as you pull into the
driveways you should exit the car with both hands
in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password,
announce in a clear voice that you have brought my
daughter home safely and early, then return to your car
--There is no need for you to come inside. The
camouflaged face at the window is mine.
39 Creative Ways to Say Someone is Stupid:
1)A few clowns short of a circus.
Please . Send . Me . Some . Watermelons . Gakuen Alice . FTW .
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