Wow, it's been forever (literally) since I've last been working with this account. I can't promise any new updates to my older fics, but I can promise I will work on any new ones I post. So far my recent DBZ one, Hit the Floor, and FFX one, Love Pentagon (if anyone can think of a better name, leave it in a review), are the only ones I'm going to be updating any time soon.

Still friends with eTRINITYs11 (even though she's never on either, her other name she works more often on is Found and Lost), captainkittygundam, and Charon the SaberCat. Still hail Chuquita and valeyard-sensei.

I am on http://www.mediaminer.org
as this name, but I only have one DBZ fic.

I DO work on my xanga whenever my comp lets me on it. It's under my webpage.

If Amy is reading this, hiiiiii Ammmyyyy...

Ja fellow writers~

Some quotes before you leave and never return to me:

"It's not stopping is it?" - Rikku
"Don't tell me you were hoping it would." - Auron
"-lightning flashes and she squeals-" - Rikku
"Fine. Stay here." - Auron
"All right, already. But! You didn't have to say it like that, you know! You could be more comforting or something! You know, try to cheer me up? You just don't get me at all, do you? Hey, are you listening? -lightning flashes and she cringes- I'm not scared! I'm not scared, you hear?" - Rikku

"Wakka's head is as hard as a rock." - Tidus

"I'm Yuna's guardian, that's all I want!" - Rikku
"And that's all she needs." - Auron

"Enough! Dwelling in the past is futile." - Auron
"Hey! You don't have to say it like that!" - Rikku
"You want to waste time listening to her regrets?" - Auron
"You don't have to say it like that." - Rikku

"Will you come with us?" - Yuna
"I am the troublemaker, after all." - Auron
"Yeah, that's right! You can always count on Auron to complicate things!" - Tidus
"Yeah! Kimahri roars, and Auron runs off, and..." - Rikku
"I never asked you to follow me." - Auron
"Hey, but that's what friends are for. Right?" - Tidus
"Yep!" - Rikku

"Yes, it's digusting. And, uh, thanks for pointing out the obvious." - Vegeta

"Wow, if they're that big, just imagine how big their father must be!"-Goku
"Digusting! No, I do not want to imagine not even one more slimey little...worm. "- Vegeta
"Wow, now that's what I call a worm!"-Goku
"Kakarot, I think I'm gonna puke..."-Vegeta

"Son of a Namek! What is that?"-Vegeta

"Each time a man stands up for an ideal, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope."- Robert Kennedy (1925-1968), American Politician, brother of President John F. Kennedy

(...is it right that I have Goku and Vegeta quotes near Robert Kennedy's? O.o;;; lol)

-----Come to think of it the entire race of Guados resembled gruffy alcoholics who in desperation had mated with sea otters.

Auron relieved some tension at the thought of some old bum soliciting the poor mammal for relations and chuckled.-----
Stories from the Farplane by LM11

-----(The bugs are being flung from the pit into the audience for souvenirs as Auron throws Tidus the other sword, which he immediately drops.)

Auron (helping Tidus get a grip on the weapon): A gift from Jecht.

Tidus: My old man?

Auron (exasperated): No, your sister! (He ignores Tidus's apparent confusion at his sarcasm as he continues.) I hope you know how to use it. (Tidus drops the sword again and picks it up by the sharp end. Auron looks up at the ceiling, muttering.) Hope really IS comforting.

(The frantic females from the orchestra run across the stage and cling to Auron.)

Frantic female musicians: Save us!

Auron (prying random female hands from his muscular arms): These ones don't matter. We cut through!

(Glad to finally make himself useful, Tidus starts whacking the girls with Jecht's sword. They shriek and start running off the stage again, Tidus in pursuit.)

Auron: Don't bother going after all of them. Cut the ones that matter, and run! (Realizing how perverse that must sound, Auron reddens.) Erm, scratch that.

(Jecht is offstage, laughing his fat head off.)

Tidus (returning from chasing the women): What are you laughing at, old man? Auron! Let's get out of here!

Auron (aside): If only it were possible. -----
FFX: The Musical? by Alexis Rockford

-----Tidus (offstage): I thought about a lot of things...like where I was, what I'd got myself into. I started to feel light-headed... and then, sleepy.

Jecht (aside, also offstage): Yeah, Auron does have that effect on people.

Auron (likewise): Oh, shut up! At least I get a real part in this thing before the finale.

Jecht: Grr

Tidus: I think I had a dream: a dream of being alone. I wanted someone--anyone, beside me... so I didn't have to feel alone anymore.

Jecht: Even me?

Tidus: I'm not THAT desperate.

As the curtain opens, there is a dull thud. We see what appears to be someone's legs being dragged off the stage. Apparently Auron has had enough of Jecht's smartass comments and has knocked him out in the wings. -----
FFX: The Musical? by Alexis Rockford

-----Tidus: You mean I'm sick?

Rikku: Of course! No one could be as good-looking as that man you described. What was his name?

Tidus (confused): Me? Tidus?

Rikku: No, no, no, the OTHER guy. The one with the badass sword.

Tidus (muttering): I don't believe this...

(Auron is heard chuckling offstage.)-----
FFX: The Musical? by Alexis Rockford

----- When the lights come back on, the curtain is closed and Tidus is asleep in front of it, tushy in the air. YOUNG AURON is standing on the stage with a woman, Tidus’s MOM. The fog machine and an eerie bluish light signify that this is a dream.

Young Auron: But, it's been nearly... It's been nearly a year already.

Mom: Perhaps you could go look for us.

Young Auron: People are still searching for him out there, but they won’t find him.

Mom: We can still try. (Young Auron shakes his head, looking depressed. She puts her hand on his shoulder.) You’ve done so much, Auron Thank you. (He nods and tries to leave, but she won’t remove her hand from his shoulder.)

Young Auron: Let go!

Mom (rubbing his back): Don’t you like this?

Young Auron: One minute you’re heartbroken about your husband and the next you’re coming on to me? Why are you so fickle?

Mom (giggling): Cause I’m a woman, silly.

Young Auron: I had to ask-----
FFX: The Musical? by Alexis Rockford

-----Tidus: Er, is the summoner all right?

(Lulu turns toward Tidus, noticing him for the first time. A light of recognition flickers in her eyes, she shakes her head, but then stares again.)

Lulu (confused): Who are you?

Tidus, mistaking her bewilderment for starstruck adoration, grabs her and kisses her full on the lips. Lulu screams and starts hitting him. Suddenly, the door at the top of the stairs opens and a beautiful female summoner steps out. This is YUNA. Yuna appears to be very exhausted. She stumbles down the stairs and starts to fall when Kimahri runs to catch her. Unfortunately, Yuna is deadweight and both come tumbling down the stairs towards the others. Everyone ends up in a heap. When they finally disentangle themselves, Yuna stands up.

Yuna: I've done it. I have become a summoner!

Tidus: (to the audience, while smoothing his mussed hair) Man was I surprised. And here I was thinking summoners were all old geezers.

Braska (offstage): Thanks a lot! (Jecht baps him with a stick.)---
FFX: The Musical? by Alexis Rockford

-------“…” Bardock sat nervously in the waiting room at the hospital. He hadn’t meant to hurt his son THAT badly…

“Sir?” a nurse timidly stepped out from a door and tapped the Saiyajin on the shoulder. “Sir, please follow me.”

He did so with a slight sense of dread. The tone of the woman’s voice wasn’t exactly a positive one. Bardock found himself getting more and more anxious as they made their way through the long, and, one had to admit, exceptionally sanitized hallways.

Finally, the nurse stopped at door “2098QL-03” and swung it open. She led the way to a bed, where Bardock found Raditsu, still unconscious.

“Sir,” the nurse began, “I’m…I’m sorry to inform you…that your son…” she glanced down toward the Saiyajin on the bed, but suddenly gasped as the halo over his head faded away, “is…ALIVE!”-----
He Means Business by ShiningMoon

-----Bulma then stood up and handed a piece of paper to Vegeta. “I’d like you to pick up some of this stuff for me.”

“Why can’t you do it yourself?”

“Because.”

“Because you know I hate going to the grocery store.”

“Yes.”

“Because you're friends with the checkout lady, who stalks me and tells you all the apparently humorous things I do while picking out your food.”

“You were swearing at the lobsters and ordering them to let you talk to some guy you used to hate while you served under Freeza!”

Vegeta went red. “But I—well—I—” he sputtered. “Well, you know, he did look almost exactly like those ‘lobster’ things! What was I s—hey—quit laughing!”

Bulma fought to overcome her fits of laughter, clutching at her stomach with one hand and using the other to cling onto the table to keep her balance. “And you—and you started waving your fingers at them like antennae—that was—that was—that was so hilarious!”

“How did…”

“She showed me the tape from the security cameras…” she managed, before collapsing onto the ground with a renewed burst of laughter.

Face about as scarlet as a cherry and mood about as sweet as a grapefruit, he snatched the list and stomped out the door.-----
He Means Business by ShiningMoon

-----"Oh, all right." He dropped his hand. Snow White and the remaining dwarves retreated hastily backstage, except for Grumpy, who paused. He and Vegeta exchanged a glance of mutual respect. "Those three always did get on my nerves," Grumpy said as he, too, left.-----
Short, Dark, PointyHaired Man Banned From Disney by Elbereth in April

-----"Hey!" said the tattooed biker man who should have been next. Vegeta slowly turned around and gave him a nasty smirk and his "your death will come with excruciating pain and I shall enjoy it, so come on and try something" stare.

"After you," the man gulped, turning pale.-----
Short, Dark, PointyHaired Man Banned From Disney by Elbereth in April

-----"Be quiet, brat," Vegeta huffed. "There's nothing in here worse than me." He smirked cockily at the startled child.

The little girl stopped crying and appraised him as he stood there, arms crossed, radiating power and majesty. "You can defeat ghosts?"

"I can defeat anything."

"Can I ride with you then?"-----
Short, Dark, PointyHaired Man Banned From Disney by Elbereth in April

-----The boat moved off. The ride, and the song, began. They passed smiling, singing chibi figures from various countries. "It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small, small world," they sang. Over and over and over.

Piccolo ground his teeth together. Vegeta clenched his fists.

Suddenly the boat stopped. "What's this?" Piccolo cried.

A voice came over a loudspeaker. "Your ride will resume momentarily. Do not get out of your boat."

"We're broken down! We're stuck!" Vegeta turned pale.

He and Piccolo looked wildly around. Not only was the song still playing, but they had stopped in a section of the ride that had happy chibis in a jungle. A couple hyenas were cackling on their right, a mad little burst of repetitive, annoying laughter.

"I can't take much more of this!" Vegeta moaned, gripping the side of the boat so tightly Bulma was afraid he'd break a hole in it.

Several more minutes crawled by. Piccolo was desperately trying to meditate. 'Take deep, calming breaths.' All around them, "It's a small world after all. . ." and "He he he he!"

A little boy behind them began to whistle along. His younger sister joined in.

"Gah!" Piccolo slammed his hands over his ears. "No more!" He stood, powering up.

Vegeta instantly joined him, rapidly progressing to Super Saiyan status. Their boat, and those of the other tourists, began to rock back and forth. Water spouts burst around them. People began to scream.

"Stop it! You guys!" Bulma and Chi-Chi were ignored, however.

Electricity began to crackle around Piccolo and Vegeta. The chibi animatronic figures started to crack. Limbs and heads broke off and rose into the air. The water sprayed higher. Chunks of ceiling started to fall around them.

Goku grabbed the two and teleported them out of the ride. They materialized back out in front of the building.

Piccolo and Vegeta looked around. They were sweating and gasping for air.

"It's OK," Piccolo panted. "We're safe now. Thank Dende!"

They abruptly relaxed and powered down. Piccolo collapsed to sit on the ground in a limp heap.

Vegeta threw his arms around Goku. "Arigatou! My faithful subject! That place was worse than HFIL!"

Taken aback, Goku patted Vegeta on the back. "Um, glad to have helped."

Vegeta pulled away and pointed back to the inside of the ride. "Go rescue Trunks!" he commanded.

"Yeah. OK." With one last look at the two of them, Goku shook his head and disappeared.

A couple moments later he returned with the rest of the group. Vegeta scooped up Trunks and hugged him.

"Papa, you're really scaring me."

Vegeta drew another shaky breath, patted him on the head, and set him down. Then he cleared his throat and looked away. "Shouldn't the parade start soon?" he asked, fiercely pretending as if nothing had just happened.-----
Short, Dark, PointyHaired Man Banned From Disney by Elbereth in April

-----"Can you tell me what time the 3:00 parade is?"

The worker smiled bravely. "3:00, sir."

Goku grinned, placing a hand behind his head. "Oh. Thanks!"

The worker watched him walk back to his group. Then the young man sighed, rolled his eyes, and made a mark in a notebook. "Thirteenth person to ask me that today."-----
Short, Dark, PointyHaired Man Banned From Disney by Elbereth in April

-----The brave young custodian saw him. "Excuse me, sir, I'm sorry but you'll have to get down for your own safety."

Vegeta hadn't fully recovered from his earlier scare. With an evil glare, he turned and blasted the guy.

A wife nudged her husband. "Honey, is that part of the parade?"

"Sure!" he replied, clapping. "And very well done, too."

Meanwhile, Bulma screeched and planted herself in front of Vegeta. "What do you think you're doing?"

Goku hurridly examined the body. "It's OK!" he said with a sigh of relief. "He's not dead. Hang on, I think I've got a senzu here somewhere. . ."

Vegeta got off the ledge and stood nose-to-nose with Bulma. "He was trying to tell me what to do! I'm the Prince of all Saiyans! No one tells me what to do!"

Trunks grinned and hummed the Small World song.

Piccolo clapped a hand over the boy's mouth as Vegeta screamed and started to quiver. Bulma's whole demeanor changed. "Oh, you poor baby, you're still all tense, aren't you? Let me give you a back rub." He relaxed as she did so.

Goku revived the worker, who hid in the bathroom mopping the same spot over and over for the rest of his shift.-----
Short, Dark, PointyHaired Man Banned From Disney by Elbereth in April

-----Finally the tour guide said they would visit Catastrophe Canyon, where a movie scene was being filmed. It was made to look like a rocky mountain, with oil drilling going on. A semi truck was parked underneath a water tower. The tram stopped and they looked it over. Then suddenly, with a great rumbling, the ground began to shake. "Oh no!" the tour guide exclaimed. "They're testing the special effects!"

The quaking grew more violent. All at once, the semi erupted with a great ball of fire. "Cool!"

"I didn't do it!" Goku held up his hands.

Then the water tower broke open and gallons of water dumped down over the mountain, putting out the fire. "Neat!"

Vegeta grinned; Bulma wasn't here. Pointing one finger, he discreetly sent a spark of ki to reignite the truck. More fire billowed up.

The tour guide squeaked. The first part was all staged, but this was new. Had someone changed the tour and not told her? Or should she fear for her life?

The heat grew as the fire reached out toward them.

"Drive!" the tour guide cried. The tram pulled away with a lurch as something on the ground began sparking. They sped away at 30 mph as more explosions rocked behind them.

Vegeta smirked. Gohan glanced at him suspiciously, but. . . maybe that was all supposed to happen? He wasn't sure.

They got off the ride and met back up with the ladies, Goten, and Roshi. They could still hear muffled explosions in the distance.

Bulma looked them over with narrowed eyes. "Did something happen?"-----
Short, Dark, PointyHaired Man Banned From Disney by Elbereth in April

-----Vegeta started laughing, then stopped abruptly. "Why am I laughing? This moron is the last of the full-blooded Saiyans! What a pathetic representative of our race! Kakkarot, get out of there before I kill you!"-----
Short, Dark, PointyHaired Man Banned From Disney by Elbereth in April

-----Vegeta froze, then slowly turned his head to see Goku staring at him with a puzzled expression. "What are you doing?"

Vegeta thought fast. "Looking for Yu Yu Hakusho?"

Goku scratched his head. "That's just Hello, Kitty."

Vegeta gave a very fake laugh. "Oh, you're right, Kakkarot! My mistake!" He hurried over to Bulma.

"Wow," Goku mumbled. "I never thought I'd hear Vegeta say those words, ever." He brightened. "I knew it! He really does like me! Hey, Vegeta, look, we're action figures!" he called, following him happily.

"Buy one of those, too," Vegeta told Bulma.

"Papa. . ."

"And buy the brat a sword." His son had to keep ahead of Kakkarot's.

As they headed for the store exit, Goku took out the action figure of himself that he'd bought. "Look, Vegeta! I press this button and power up to Super Saiyan!"

Vegeta immediately pulled his own action figure out of Bulma's bag. His figure did not have this feature. "Blast you, Kakkarot!" he shouted. "You're always one step ahead of me!"

The others eyed him strangely. Goku grinned impudently and used his doll to knock Vegeta's doll to the floor. He knew he was going to have a long, grueling search for the dragonballs because of this, but the look on Vegeta's face made it all worthwhile.

As Vegeta turned an interesting shade of red, the others slowly backed up. This could only have one result.

Not even the Hello Kitty collection was safe now.

Vegeta reached down and picked up his action figure. He raised its little hand. He powered up. "Big Bang Attack!" he cried, holding the doll up as if it was firing, too.

Everyone dived for cover.

The roof and the walls exploded up and out, pieces raining down, along with the occasional fortune cookie (there had been a restaurant directly above them), and merrily blazing little origami animals. The bonsai trees outside went up in flames.

"Vegeta!"

Goku pressed the button to light up his action figure, stuck out his tongue at his Prince, and raised the doll's hands. "Kame hame ha!"

Vegeta and his doll dodged away, leaving a 3-story pagoda to take the blast. The tall, imposing tower tilted to one side and majestically toppled over into the World Showcase Lagoon.

"Goku!"

Vegeta reappeared and kicked Goku in the face, raising his doll's leg as he did so. Goku responded in kind.

Chi-Chi turned to Bulma. "I've seen my husband do some strange things, but this just goes beyond anything I've experienced."

Bulma smirked. "Watch this. Hey, Prince Vegeta! I didn't know you played with dolls!"

The punch he'd aimed at Goku's head went wide, smashing through a statue of a samauri, as he spun to yell at Bulma.

"Ack! Onna! What are you insinuating?"

"It looks like you're playing with dolls to me, Papa," Trunks put in mischievously.

"Yeah, Dad, you, too," Goten and Gohan added almost as one.

"It's an action figure!" Goku protested, hiding it behind his back.

Vegeta slunk over and threw his Vegeta-figure back into Bulma's bag. "I didn't even buy any Hello, Kitty," he mumbled.

Bulma smiled at him and pulled the bag open wider so he could see inside. Lo and behold, a Hello Kitty backpack was half-hidden at the bottom. "I'll give it to you when we get home," she whispered.

For a moment, he went so far as to smile back, then he turned and scowled at Goku. "You started the whole thing, anyway."

Goku grinned, and started to hand his doll back to Chi-Chi. Bulma intercepted it, then pulled the Vegeta doll out again. "Long live Prince Vegeta," she said, waving the Goku doll and having it bow to the Vegeta doll.

Vegeta smirked and preened visibly.

"Aw, Bulma come on," Goku whined, reaching for his toy.

"Ooh, Vegeta, I hear you're married to that beautiful genius who owns Capsule Corps. Why, yes, Kakkarot, she's the Princess of all Saiyans!"

Goku made another grab for his doll. Vegeta picked Bulma up by her waist and hovered a little ways in the air so Goku couldn't reach.

The others all sighed, and walked away, shaking their heads and pretending they didn't know them.---
Short, Dark, PointyHaired Man Banned From Disney by Elbereth in April

-----After they left the shop, he turned around and blasted it to ashes. Even the stones melted. "No more stupid hats," he declared in satisfaction.

"Vegeta!" Goku whined. "There were people in there."

"Buying hats. They deserved their fate."

On to Mexico, inside an ancient Mayan temple, where Bulma bought a pair of maracas and Vegeta narrowly escaped wearing a sombrero.

"That's it, Kakkarot! Your death is coming at my hands!"

"But Vegeta, you and the boys are the only ones still hat-less."

"You. Me. Your death."

"He's right, Vegeta. You and the boys should join in the spirit of hat- togetherness," Bulma grinned, eyes sparkling wickedly.

"At least my son has more sense than his mother!" Vegeta snorted. "Now, Kakkarot, about my killing you. . ."

"But Vegeta, you ducked. I didn't actually get that sombrero on your head. So I don't deserve more than serious injury." Goku put his hand behind his head and grinned.

"Well. . . oh, all right," Vegeta grumbled.

"And since that's no more than happens any time we spar, it's just another friendly match, right?" Still grinning, all sunny and innocent.

Vegeta blinked.

"And since it's almost time for the fireworks and we don't want to miss them, let's wait and have a good spar once we get to the hotel, OK?"

Vegeta blinked again. Had he just been outmaneuvered by Kakkarot? Drat it all! He did like fireworks; he didn't want to miss any. "Um, oh, OK." Drat! Drat!-----
Short, Dark, PointyHaired Man Banned From Disney by Elbereth in April

-----GOKU! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED DOWN THERE!”

Nobody responded.

“Umm, are you guys even listening?”

No response.

“IT’S BECAUSE I’M SHORT ISN’T IT!” With that said Krillen ran out of the room crying.

Goku looked up from where he was sitting and looked around the room.

“Did you guys just hear something?”

“Nah! It was probably just a bee!” Everybody replied.-----
Vegeta's night out by Clarobell

-----"Just call me J.D," he said offering Vegeta a hand and tipping his hat. "I'm an official spokesman for homeless people." Vegeta took his hand and they shook hands, still speechless. He just nodded.

"So are you really homeless?" Rusty asked. J.D nodded. "And you're o.k. with that?" He nodded again. -----
Lost by East Coastie 1500

-----“Sorry, we’re taken.” Goku smiled as Krillin and Vegeta try to tear off their wedding rings and Yamcha brushes his hair. “Hello everyone, this is Whose Line Is It Anyway, the game show where the points don’t matter. We just give them out as a gag and in the end the winner gets to do a little something special with me and the losers get to watch.”

Vegeta prays, “I’ve never asked for this before, but please make me a looser!”

Goku smirks, “Moving on, let’s start with a game called Weird Newscasters. This is for all of you.” Everyone gets up, Krillin and Trunks grab a chair as Goku gives out the instructions. “Trunks you’re the news reporter, Krillin you’re the co-anchor. You’re a dominatrix.” Krillin looks forward into the camera with confusion. “Yamcha you’re doing the sports, you’re in love with everyone.”

Yamcha stares blankly for a moment, “And you’re point is?”

“No that’s the character your playing.”

“Oh! …boy, I get the tough acting ones.” He rolled his eyes.

Goku continued, “And Vegeta, you’re doing the weather and you’re John Wayne. Start whenever you hear the music.” News music begins and the camera zooms to Trunks and Krillin.

Trunks clears his throat, “Good evening and welcome to the six o’clock news, I’m your host, Like I Giveadam. We have a breaking news story about the warhead invasion of Kreplakistan with my co-anchor Shabiqua. Shabiqua?”

Krillin stands up slowly and waves hand, making a whip sound as he turns to Trunks, “You’re a bad boy aren’t you.” Fake whips him. “You like that don’t you!” Fake whips him again. “You’re a nasty, dirty little man now aren’t you?” Whips a few more times before sitting down provocatively. “You like a little abuse don’t you?”

Trunks is puzzled for a moment, “I guess we won’t be hearing about Kreplakistan. Now over to our sports desk with Tad Sexington, Tad?”

Yamcha is looking around the room lovingly, “Oh those Lakers, they’re dam ass hot! Hot, hot, hot! I could just eat Kobe up, and oh man for a guy that can jump so far, just think how he goes in bed?” Everyone roots in the audience, Yamcha looks over at Goku. “Oh…. my… god… guys, look at his but?” Yamcha dashes over to Goku and sits on his lap.

Trunks wears a confused look, “We’ll get back to those two later.”

Krillin slaps Trunks on the but with his hand, “If there was a stupid and ugly contest, you’d surely win…. or loose, whichever hurts you more.”

“Let’s check in with our weather with John Wayne.”

Vegeta turns around to face the camera, “As you can see we have sunny days, ahead. Over the weekend scattered showers may be, in store.” He stops and looks around quickly, pulling out an invisible gun from his belt. “In the name of King Yemma, we’re under, attack!” He starts shooting wildly in the air and hits Krillin.

Trunks stands up, “I’m free, I’m free, I’m….” He turns to see Yamcha right next to him giving him the look, Trunks gulps and nervously turns to the camera. “That’s all for the six o’clock news, join us at ten with sexy results….” News ending music plays and everyone goes back to sit down.

Goku smiled to himself, “That was great, a thousand points a peace. Except for you Yamcha, your thousand goes to the incredible love we made during the news.”

Yamcha’s pretending to smoke, “Call me.”-----
Who's Line Is It Anyway, DBZ?by Y2J Chris Jericho

-----“Hey welcome back, tonight’s winner is Trunks!” Trunks waves to cheering crowd. “So we’re all going to do a game for you, our most favorite game in the whole world, and it’s…”

Everyone yells, “Hoedown!”

“That’s right.” Goku nodded. “Alright, somebody from the middle section, give me something that you might regret having.”

The audience yelled out random things, “Sex! Plastic surgery! A dog!”

“ Plastic surgery, ok we’ll do the plastic surgery hoedown.” Goku cued for the music.

Goku:
I'm trying to look much better, I’ve had a few things done,
I’ve had a breast enlargement, and had some liposuction.
You see I’ve had some specially sculpted hips,
And then I had the fat from my but injected in my lips.

Yamcha:
I remember the day that was some time last September,
I wanted to change my appearance like a Jackson family member.
Because I've wanted this all my life brother,
I'd be just like Michael Jackson, and lighten up my color.

“Scrape!” Trunks laughed from behind the desk, into the beat.

Krillin:
Get behind me Satan, get out of my life!
I'm a plastic surgeon for the Lord, you're going under the knife!
I'm gonna cut you up, and cut your heart, and cut your tail too,
Then I'll do something with your eyes, it'll take 50 years off of you!

Vegeta:
Living in America, oh boy, is it funny,
You can get the plastic surgery if you've got the money.
And if you don't like it when it's finally done,
Remember you're an American, you can kill your doctor with a gun!-----
Who's Line Is It Anyway, DBZ?by Y2J Chris Jericho

----- “Good evening and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway, here’s our contestants. Finish me and I’m free, Yamcha.” Yamcha smiles arrogantly, posing sexily. “Nothing on the side please, Tien.” Tien waves, pretending to pick up thrown flowers. “Soup or salad, Krillin.” Krillin points to the cameras. “And can I get a doggie bag, Vegeta.” Vegeta shakes head and scrunches nose in disgust. “And I’m your host Goku, let’s go have some fun.” He goes and sits down. “Hey welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway, a game show too hot for cable TV.”

“Dam strait!” Yamcha grinned

“Ok.” Goku arranged his cards. “Let’s start with a game called Home Shopping. This game is for Krillin and Vegeta. You’re a couple of paid programming announcers trying to sell these items.” Vegeta carries a box over to the stand where Krillin is waiting. “Ok, begin.”

Vegeta started, “Hi!”

“Hi!”

“Hi, it's 3 o'clock and it's time to buy, buy, buy. All you people at home get your credit cards out cause we've got some deals for you today, haven't we Krillin?”

“That's right.”

“Well, Krillin hasn't got much to say today.”

“What was our first thing we're going to sell?”

“Probably what you've got in your hand, Krillin.”

“Oh, yes. Now, what does this look like to you?”

“Hmmm. Looks like a book full of words to read at night.”

“No, and isn't it irritating every time you pick up a book you have to go through so many words?”

“And you know, when I fall asleep at night I find I'm reading and not even taking in what I'm reading, I'm asleep.”

“Exactly. That's why we have this.”

“A book with no words?”

“That's right. You save time. There's the title, you're finished! Bored? Look at this for three minutes, you're asleep!”

“Holy smoke, but you're bright and peppy for the next day!”

“You're bright and peppy. How much would you buy this for?”

“Fifty bucks?”

“You're crazy!”

“Thirty-two bucks, tax included?”

“You're crazy!”

“One hundred pesos?”

Krillin looks at back of the book, “Yea!”

“Wow, that's not a bad deal.”

“No.”

“Especially for you nice old folks living in Canada, that's only two hundred and fifty dollars. What's this look like to you, Krillin?”

“Why, that looks like a discarded banana peel!”

“The type you slip up on?”

“That's right!”

“The type you get hurt at?”

“Yea!”

“The type you use to meet that special someone?”

“What are you saying?”

“Ow, I've fallen, my leg hurts, lady can you help me?” Vegeta hums the wedding march. “I do, ooh honeymoon in Vegas!” He makes sex music sounds.

“It is a perfect matrimonial maker.”

“That's the plan. It’s how I met my mate and eventually ended up with a kid… or two.”

“Hey, we have one more thing.”

“Well, what is it?”

“Well we have it all backed up, we're backed up with thousands of them. Unflushable toilets. Complete with everything you see here.”

“Finally! Finally! I'm not one to brag, but sometimes I like to take a look at what I have, but I forget all about it, I can't see it, boom, it's gone. But unflushable toilet, it's there to see forever!” Beep!-----
Who's Line Is It Anyway, DBZ?by Y2J Chris Jericho

-----Vegeta does a potty dance, “I gotta go.”

“Better play the tape first.” Krillin inserts and plays the tape.

Yamcha speaks from offstage, “Gentlemen, welcome.”

“How are you?” Vegeta asks.

“He can't hear you…”

Vegeta yells this time, “How are you?”

Yamcha continues, “This week, I have a mission for you. Should you wish to accept it, then you must do it.”-----
Who's Line Is It Anyway, DBZ?by Y2J Chris Jericho

-----Vegeta stands confused, “I'm going to rub myself down with cooking oil.” He turns to see Krillin staring. “Just cause it feels good.”

“Quick, quick, quick! I'm going for the stairs.” Krillin runs for stairs, Vegeta pushes lift button. Krillin runs up many flights of stairs while Vegeta stands in lift looking bored so he starts rubbing himself down again. “Stop that! We've got work to do.”-----
Who's Line Is It Anyway, DBZ?by Y2J Chris Jericho

-----Krillin narrates, “I was hoping he had the kind of hardware I needed. I'm a hard woman to please, even harder to look at.”

”Can I help you?”

“Yes, I'd like a big hammer.”

Vegeta narrates, “I knew she wanted a big hammer, maybe a couple of nails and a good screw. I showed her what I had to offer.” He turned to Krillin, “Well mam, you might want to take a look along the shelves.”

Krillin narrates, “As I looked along the shelves, I could feel his eyes looking at every curve of my body. I could almost hear his heart scream ‘I want you’.”

“I hope you have a man around the house who can help you with those kind of things.” Vegeta narrates, “I knew she didn't because I'd gotten a look at that big but of hers. I knew there wasn't a man in the world that would go after her.” He turns back to Krillin, “That'll be sixty bucks.”

Krillin narrates, “He was charging me way too much. I knew that I would have to kill him. Kill him like all the other men who were just scum and treated me like dirt, not realizing that inside me was a beautiful person aching to get out and would never get...”

“Hey, sixty bucks!”

Krillin pulls a gun, “I'm sorry, big boy. That's the last overcharging you'll ever do.”

Vegeta narrates, “She pulled a gun on me. She didn't know that behind her was the store manager Tien with a shotgun.”

Krillin steps forward to narrate, Vegeta grabs the gun, “I fell for the old store manager Tien behind me with a shot gun gag. That was the eighth time this week. But he didn't know that Goku, my pet termite, was crawling up his leg ready to bite into his head

Vegeta narrates, “What am I? Stupid?” Beep!-----
Who's Line Is It Anyway, DBZ?by Y2J Chris Jericho

-----“Now then, let’s go onto a game called Show Stopping Number, it’s for Krillin and Vegeta, Yamcha will be joining them later.” At Goku’s instructions, Krillin and Vegeta take the stage and Yamcha goes off to the side. “Ok you’re trying to protect the last DragonBall from the Ginyu Force when you all of a sudden break into song and dance when I ring the buzzer.”

Vegeta starts, “Listen Krillin, you have to give me the DragonBall so I can wish for immortality. If you don’t then the Ginyu Force will destroy us all!”

“I can’t do that.”

“Then destroy it, that way they can’t make their wish.”

Krillin goes to destroy the invisible DragonBall but gasps, “Hu, hey what happened!”

“So, then it’s true what they say!”

“Well are you gonna tell us what they say?”

“Yes they say…” Beep! “Hu?” Vegeta freezes and looks at Goku a little confused.

Goku shrugs innocently, “Sorry, delayed reaction.”

The music begins and the two start to dance as Vegeta sings, “Simple and true what they say, a little bit goes a long way. Oh at the end of the day a little bit goes a long way.”

“Hey, they’re laughing at you, are you gonna take that?”

Yamcha rushes in:Oh hey sorry I’m late.”

Krillin is shocked and confused, “What are you doing here, I thought we wished Piccolo back.”

Vegeta gasped angrily, “You already used a wish!”

Yamcha grumbles and folds his arms, “Piccolo’s not the star.” Beep! Yamcha begins to dance around and sing, “Piccolo’s so lucky, he’s a star, but he die-die-died from Freeza’s death beam. If there’s one thing missing in his life, it’s another chance in the fight.”

“What, Freeza’s here?” Krillin looks around afraid. “How will we know what he looks like?”

“I do.” Vegeta raised his hand

Yamcha blinked at him, “Well, what does he look like?”

Vegeta pauses for a brief moment, then shrugs, “I dunno.”

“What! Can’t you see?” Beep! Krillin starts to laugh and marches around in circles, “Oh Vegeta can’t you see, you are so beautiful to me!” Beep!

“That was great, a thousand points to Piccolo.” Goku announced. Everyone is shocked.

Piccolo nods approvingly, “It’s about damn time.”-----
Who's Line Is It Anyway, DBZ?by Y2J Chris Jericho

-----“Alright let’s go onto a game called Superheroes, this is for all four of you. Piccolo, you’re a superhero about to save the world from a crisis and will later be joined by your colleagues. What I need from the audience is a name of an unlikely superhero.”

The audience yells out names, “Handy Man! Candy Man! Mr. Moo-moo! Don Da-Da Don!”

“Hey I liked that Mr. Moo-moo one. Ok and our crisis is….?”

Somebody in the audience yelled soonest, “The milk went sour!”

Goku smirked, “Nice, sounds like you’ve been planning for this one. Alright Mr. Moo-moo, the milk has turned bad. What, oh what will you do?”

Piccolo is getting cookies out of the oven, “Ah, nothing like some chocolate chip cookies at three in the morning.” Eats one and talks muffled, “Oh these cookies! Now I need some milk.” Opens the refrigerator, drinks a carton of milk and gasps, still talking muffled. “Holly Swiss cheese, Batman! The milk’s gone past it’s expiration date!”

Yamcha runs in, “I’m here, what’s the problem?”

Piccolo continues to talk muffled, “Oh thank god you’re here, Random Acts Of Violence Man!”

Yamcha decks Piccolo’s jaw, “Ha, ha, what’s the matter hu? Got milk!”

Krillin rushed in, “I came here as fast as I could, what’s going on.”

Yamcha punches him in the gut, “It’s Lice Boy!” He kicks his shin and runs away. “Don’t get them in my hair. Ah, they’re in my hair!”

Piccolo still speaks in a muffled voice, “The milk’s gone bad, it went sour.”

“What the hell is going on?” Vegeta walks over to Krillin and starts to itch.

“Hey, it’s the Passes Out In 30 Seconds Drunk man.” Krillin smiles back at him.

“Hey I resent that…” Vegeta fell over on the floor, Yamcha runs over and kicks him in the stomach, Vegeta gets up and staggers over to Piccolo. “Sorry I can’t stay, I have an AA meeting.” He walks to the door but passes out half way.”

Krillin’s scratching his scalp, “He’s had a whole keg, I’d better take him.” He walks away from Piccolo who starts itching.

Yamcha goes over to Piccolo and punches him in the stomach, “I have an anger management class to go to, I’m outa here.”

Piccolo still in a muffled voice, “But what about the milk…. Wait, I’m a cow!” Starts to drink from his pretend utter, “Ah, another crisis averted thanks to Mr. Moo-moo!” Beep!

“That was, uh, disturbing.” Goku thought as everyone sits down and drinks from their glass of water. “Hey are you sure you guys want water, we have milk.” He points to Piccolo.

“Hey I’m good for a go.” Yamcha opens his mouth in Piccolo’s direction.

Piccolo frowns in disgust, “Don’t you have to get a rabies shot?”-----
Who's Line Is It Anyway, DBZ?by Y2J Chris Jericho

-----“Hey welcome back, here’s tonight’s winner, Piccolo!” The audience cheers as Piccolo puts his finger and thumb on his forehead like an L. “Now the four of us are going to do a little skit. What will we be doing Piccolo?”

Piccolo reads a card inside an envelope, “You have to perform a soap opera, but with one condition. You're hamsters.”

Goku shakes his head, “What's wrong with you? Get some friends! …Hamsters.”

“The hamsters are my friends.”

“Alright, we’ll do the hamster soap opera.”

Yamcha runs on wheel then gets off, “Whew.”

Goku sighs with relief, “Thank god you're done on that wheel, I thought you were going to be on there all day.”

“Get off my back.”

“Mom liked you.” Krillin spoke up. “Mom didn't eat you.”

Vegeta enters from the side, “Sorry I'm late, I couldn't get here earlier. Hey, milk!” HE stands there lapping at drink dispenser, which so happens to be the desk with the cow, Piccolo.

“Mr. Hamster Water Hog, someone's been eating all the kibble round here.” Goku frowns.

Vegeta turns back around, “Not me.”

“Yea, yea, it's been you. We were in your area last night. You've got food hidden under your wood chips. We saw you with your cheeks all stuffed.”

Krillin turns from Goku to Yamcha, “What've you got to say about it Yamcha?” Yamcha has cheeks stuffed full of food, pauses, then tries to run away, on the wheel. Beep!-----
Who's Line Is It Anyway, DBZ?by Y2J Chris Jericho

-----“Good evening and welcome to another episode of Whose Line Is It Anyway. Today our contestants are: looks like my son, Yamcha.” Yamcha hides a beer can. “Is my son, Gohan” He looks around until finds the right camera. “Friends with my son, Krillin.” Krillin sits there blankly. “And wants to kill my son, Vegeta.” Vegeta gives a slow, solemn golf clap. “And I’m your host, Goku, let’s go down and have some fun.” Goku sits down, Gohan bows to the crowd as Yamcha prompts them to cheer, then Vegeta silences them immediately with his hand. “Hello everyone, welcome to the show where the points don’t matter.”

Krillin gasps in shocked gasp, “Really?”

Vegeta turns to Krillin, “Yes.” He speaks snootily, “You see, apparently they were just a gag prize.”

Yamcha wears a disappointed frown, “Humph, and here I was taking mine to the bank.”

“Alright, this first game is called ‘Film, TV and Theater Styles’ and it’s for everyone. The scene is, Gohan, you and your oh so lovely wife Krillin…” He pauses and looks up to see Krillin shaking his head with his arms folded, “…are greeting their new neighbors, Vegeta and his brother Yamcha.”

“Can’t I be Krillin’s husband?” Vegeta groans.

“Ha ha, very funny. But you didn’t let me finish Vegeta.” Goku continues to read the card instructions. “The twist is, you and Gohan were roommates back in college. Now, what I need from the audience is kinds of genres that you enjoy seeing.”

The audience yells out styles, “Action, comedy, dubbing, drama.

“Ok, that’s enough. Start off and I’ll buzz in with different styles.”

Gohan is smirking, “Where are you going, honey?”

Krillin gives him an angry look, “I’m going to give our new neighbors some casserole.”

“You haven’t even met them and already you’re trying to get rid of them?”

“Why must we be such the dysfunctional couple?” Krillin fumes.

“Maybe it’s because you can’t cook.”

Goku buzzes, “Comedy.”

Gohan continues, “Your cooking is so bad, bums would turn it away and rather starve.”

“You’re one to talk. Remember that old Saiyaman outfit from high school? And you thought my cooking stank.”

“Low blow baldy? I never would’ve guessed anything less from you, below the belt is as high as you can punch.”

“You know what? Forget this, I’m going to meet them.”

“Great, I’ll go with you.” Gohan skips after him, the two walk over to Vegeta and Yamcha. “Ding dong.”

Yamcha: opens the door, “Yes?”

Goku buzzes, “Action.”

“Hiya!” Krillin throws casserole on Yamcha.

“Ah, my eye! It burns, I’m in hell!”

“No, you’re our new neighbors.”

“Same difference!”

“Take this!” Krillin attempts a matrix but falls on his back. “Ow!”

“Oh no, my darling, you hurt yourself!” Gohan goes to Krillin’s aid.

Vegeta appears, “What’s going on here… Gohan?”

Gohan gasps and turns, “Vegeta!”

Goku buzzes, “Foreign dubbing.”

Gohan thinks Chinese and sticks out right fist, “I challenge you to thumb wars!” He continues moving mouth.

Vegeta moves his mouth before speaking, “I accept your challenge.”

He sticks out right fist and thumb wars begins as they both chant, “One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war!” They battle and Vegeta wins the game.

“Ah, no, you killed me!” Gohan pauses, then moves his mouth again.

“Why does my mouth keep moving?” Yamcha asks Krillin sadly.

Vegeta does Chinese dubbed laughter, “Aha, ha ah.”

Goku buzzes, “Drama.”

Gohan clears his throat, “Vegeta, it’s been so long, how have you been?”

“Well, not too good to be honest. But now, now that we’re together….”

Krillin cries out and Gohan turns to him, “What is it my dear?”

“I think I’m pregnant.” He replies, leaving Gohan, Yamcha and Vegeta confused with a large sweat drop on the back of their head.

Gohan speaks up again, “But we never….”

Krillin cuts him off, “Yamcha is the father.” Yamcha faints.

Gohan sighs, “I’m sorry I have to do this.” He turns to Krillin. “We can no longer keep this secret.” He turns to Vegeta and they make out, Goku laughs so hard he’s crying. Buzz! Yamcha gets up and they sit back down.

Goku wipes a tear, “Gohan, how is it possible that you’re my son! Ugh, I blame MTV. A thousand points to Yamcha and Krillin, the proud new parents of a four pound baby anteater.”

Yamcha beams, “I’m gonna call her Goku.”

“Ok!” Goku yells, disturbed. -----
Who's Line Is It Anyway, DBZ?by Y2J Chris Jericho

“Hello! And welcome back to Whose Line, tonight our winners is Gohan.” Gohan stands next to him on the stage.

Vegeta cups his hand around his mouth, “Boo, it was rigged!”

“Me and him get to do our favorite game in the whole world, ‘Hoedown’, but we have two very special guests with us today. Please welcome, the founder of our show: Drew Carey, and his partner Ryan Styles!”

The crowd goes nuts and gives a standing ovation as Gohan starts groveling at their feet, “We’re not worthy, we’re not worthy! We’re scum, scum I say! We suck!”

“Alright, and what will be our ‘Hoedown’? Audience, name something you’d like to keep secret.”

The audience yells out once more, “Sex change. Got arrested. Bigamy.”

“Bigamy, bigamy, I said bigamy, ok sh, now be quiet.” Goku looks over at Yamcha as he looks around nervously pulling at his collar. Goku smirks, “You got lucky this time my friend.”

“I know.” He nods, relieved.

“Alright then, the four of us will do the bigamy Hoedown, take it away Laura Hall.” Goku cues the music.

Gohan:

Bigamy’s a subject that I must digress,

Plainly it means to have unmarried sex.

But as for a bachelor I got it goin on,

Until I ran into none other than my mom.

Goku:

As a married man I must admit

I practiced bigamy, oops it slipped.

I’d gotten drunk in Vegas with my crew

It’s not considered bigamy to see Krillin nude.

Drew:

I’m back here on Whose Line for a ‘Hoedown’

Since I’ve been away I’ve been around.

As you can see Wayne and Colin aren’t here

They’re waiting for me back in my brand new Cavalier.

Ryan:

I’ve been practicing bigamy all my life,

That means for years I’ve been cheating on my wife.

One day she told me to look it up in a dictionary,

Bigamy’s defined as cheating with Drew Carey.-----
Who's Line Is It Anyway, DBZ?by Y2J Chris Jericho

-----"Don't bother with the food," I said gruffly. "Where's my sake?"

"You are NOT getting drunk right now, Sir Auron. "-----
Lovesong by crazycrazyme

-----"So, let me get this straight," Yuna said after nearly an hour of prodding me for answers. "You last remember drinking?"

"Oh yes," I said, then smiled at her. "I was drinking rather excessivly."

"For some reason, I don't have a problem picturing that."-----
Lovesong by crazycrazyme

----- “Bones!”

“Nami-san is so observant!”

“Human bones, Sanji!”

“Nami-san is so descriptive! I love her more and more!”

“Will you cut the crap, and think about this for a second!” ------
Hide and Seek by Quatrina Raberba