It was time to revamp this profile a bit. Seriously.
Facts: Girl. Born 1986 (updating it once a year was too much for me. Count).
I read Harry Potter fanfiction mainly (you should've figured that by now), mostly because it exist in such quantity that the chances of finding a quality one is higher.

Harry Potter-fanfiction I enjoy:

- Independent Harry Potter: These are not always good, oftentimes Harry becomes waaaay overpowered. I like the more subtle approach with Harry being quite clever (not necessarily book-clever) and surprising people.

- Fanfiction with a little bit of romance, a little bit of drama, and a little bit of adventure: I like them to be a good mix of genres. Plain romance can easily get too sappy, plain drama just gets dramatic (often repetitive), and plain adventure has me scrolling through the spell-exchanges just so I can get to the good bits.

Harry Potter-fanfiction that I try to avoid:

- Affair fics - This has something to do with my own outlook on life - affairs, and generally being unfaithful is something I don't like. At all. Also it becomes far to emo for me when Harry and Hermione can't just fess up their feelings, get a divorce and deal with it in an orderly, sensible fashion.

- "I'm so terribly sorry I wasted three days of our lives by snogging Ginny in a corner, Hermione! /cry!"
When you were sixteen... did you ever crush on two different persons in the span of half a year? I know I did. I never had a boyfriend back then, but I'm sure if I had I'd be exploring the activity named 'snogging'. And I'm sure I'll never, when I meet the man I'm going to marry, going to APOLOGIZE! for NOT noticing him when I was sixteen!
IF the guy was my classmate back then, or the neighbour next door, I might comment and say 'Damn it's odd how things turn out!' but I'm not ever going to spend a chapter, an evening, or a lifetime saying sorry. It's ridiculous and pretty unrealistic, not to mention boring.
I recently stumbled on a fanfiction where the author spent an ENTIRE chapter where Harry was crying into Hermione's lap, apologizing for being so stupid and not notice her before. It was sad, because it was well written and the resume looked really promising.

- Harry/Ginny fanfiction - It's not that I dislike Ginny. Most people just don't write her well. Most Ginnys turn out to have a terrible temper, and Harry is just a guy she keeps around, but he's really fairly stupid and it takes ages for him to realise that Ginny loves him. He's also terribly afraid of aforementioned temper and has to walk on eggshells all the time. Also Molly Weasley is far too smug about getting the two of them married. Preferrably before Ginny is out of school.
In my oppinion, 16, 17, 18 is far too young to get married in the first place.
(Ofc this is true for a lot of Harry/Hermione fanfiction as well. I try to avoid those too, but admittedly I'm more forgiving of these. Sue me.)

-'Our beloved potions professor' - Sorry, but Severus Snape is not beloved. Despite his thorough redemption in Deathly Hallows, which lasted all of, say, three lines, he’s not beloved in any way. He’s a snarky, narcissistic, psychopathic git, who cares for himself and himself alone. Ok so he died like a martyr - that doesn't necessarily mean he was ever a good guy. And just because he’s starred by Alan Rickman in the films does not redeem him in any way. If you want to redeem Severus Snape, feel free - but make it believable (and kill him off before anyone else find out).
As to the fanfiction which deals with the non-romantic relationship between Harry and Snape I have enjoyed several. However the twentieth time Snape thinks about how much Harry is like his father (after it has clearly been proven that he's not) I start searching for the close-button.

-'A certain someone' - Once upon a time this could mean any of the females in the Harry Potter story. Now it always means the following: Harry/Draco, strange rules about veelas, magical bondings between men, emo, mentally unstable and horribly abused Harry Potters, and male pregnancy. What's really disturbing about this? Every second story on fanfiction.net has this plot! Please, you writers need to change psyciatrists! (And this is actually not about the gay issue, believe it or not - it's about the sadomasochistic issue and male pregnancies)

As with everything else, I sometimes find those pretty little pieces that I love despite everything. On that list I even have a Harry/Draco fanfiction and a Harry/Sirus fanfiction - and that's saying something.
At other times I just have to eat my words. One day I stumbled across this gem, Harry Potter and the Soul Gems by shedoc. This fic contains male pregnancy, and it's done really well. And I mean really well. The story is an AU, and the plot has Harry being exiled after killing Lord Voldemort. As such he has to start anew, with only Hagrid as a connection to his old life, forbidden from contacting any of his other friends. During the story he creates a new life, with new friends, and yes he does get pregnant (five times, no less) but you are eased into it and it's tactful and tasteful and well written. As of this story he is not in a relationship with anyone, though it became obvioius to me pretty early on that he is in love with someone he left back in England, and that this person is a guy, even if you get no hints as to who.
The second story, Harry Potter and the City of Tents brings his English family (the Weasleys and Hermione) back into the picture, and as such contains a slash relationship between Harry and another male. I heartily recommend both, and I will most certainly be checking out any other works of this author.

If real life was a story, it would have no heroes or heroines.
If real life was a story, it would be short of good helpers.
If real life was a story, the old wise guy would be my dad.
If real life was a story, there would be no happy endings, because only the tragedies make headlines.
If real life was a story, I would be the girl who walked down the street, and went unementioned because her existence did not affect the plot.

- by no one of consequence

The following contains some quotes from fanfiction I've read and enjoyed.

'He reached out to me, opened up to me, and I... I rejected him. Where's a dog to kick when I need one? Oh, wait. Did that.' - Severus Snape, Never Alone, Never Again by Bored Beyond Belief

'For the past ten years I have been reaping in abundance that which I did not sow.' - Harry Potter, Betrayed by kateydidnt

'See? Never doubt me. I'm usually right... Remember the 'usually' part in case I'm ever wrong.' - Tom Riddle, Elemental Genesis by Raven Dragonclaw

'Excellent, it's about time we got a large gun capable of mass amounts of destruction and chaos. Can I have one?' - Hiroshi the Harbringer, Elemental Prophecies by Raven Dragonclaw

'How is it that in less than two weeks after your arrival seventh year Slytherins are taking your orders, certain Muggleborn Gryffindors sleep in Slytherin dorms - private quarters no less, and no one mutters 'Mudblood' without first making sure you are on the other side of the castle?' - Severus Snape to Harry Potter/Horatius Snape, Forlorn Hope by Elssha

'I've always liked destroying spider-webs.' - Harry Potter, The Dragonmasters by Naia

'Was his situation inconvenient? Yes. Highly annoying? Definitely. A desperate emergency? Nah, not really. He wasn't hurt, nothing was chasing him and nobody was trying to kill him. Life was good.' - Harry Potter about being abandoned by his relatives, Realizations by Wishweaver

'I know you are an eminently capable witch, but I would think... I would hope that you would trust me enough to depend on me.' - Harry Potter, Seasons of Love by Fuyumi
(Awww. He's just such a cutie...)

'Yes, I rule a country in my spare time.' - Éomer King (upon being asked if he had a hobby) The only Love Gods by Melyanna

'Harry seemed to have wrapped a possessive arm around Hermione’s tiny stomach, while Hermione placed her miniature hand over Harry’s heart. Both were rather close to each other and sleeping.' - Remember by Facade

'Y'know what? You need to lose the gel, Malfoy. That look is so five decades ago.' - Rachel Dragonrider, The Awakening of a Magus by the-dreamer4

'And if you were wondering how Harrison reacted, it's really quite simple. He laughed. But if it was about the content or the image of Headmaster Dumbledore 'tiptoeing through the tulips', I'm not sure.' - Elissa Fowler, Celestial Requiem by Raven Dragonclaw

'Before I used to forbid myself from having such improper thoughts about boys, but with him its like I can’t regulate my own mind to maintain a state of decency! My mind has a mind of its own, a separate entity from myself. And this entity has unanimously decided that it's in love with Harry Potter, and thinks he is very good looking.
I think it has good taste.' - Hermione Granger, Challenge by Cliodna

'If he truly had no choice but to fight, he choose to fight for all the mythical creatures he had once upon a time dreamt about in a dreary cupboard.' - Harry Potter, Reigns of Power by Fayr Warning

'And Severus, might I remind you that Harry, whatever his actions, is still in Gryffindor. As such, he's mine.' - Minerva McGonagall, This Means War! by Jeconais

'When you are nothing but a forgotten, unmarked grave, we shall be remembered throughout time as heroes. You will be nothing but a footnote to our place in history.' - Pansy Parkinson to Voldemort, White Knight, Grey Queen by Jeconais

'You are growing up.' - Minerva McGonagall
'It happens to the best of us.' - Harry Potter
White Knight, Grey Queen by Jeconais

'If this Quirrell so much as breathes funny in Harry's direction then all bets are off. We'll level that fucking castle to the ground.' - Naroku McKnight, Potter by Water Mage

'She braced herself for the shame of having one of them assist her, but instead had to endure a worse embarrassment when King Elessar himself picked her up. Did the man not yet completely grasp what it meant to be king? That he had no business hauling around an injured woman?' - Lesswyn, Heart of the Horselord by rynogeny

'Harry was tempted for a moment to just tell them (Fred and George) that one of their heroes was locked up in Azkaban then stand back. On the other hand, they might need that prison again some day.' - Harry Potter, The Nightmares of Futures Past by S'TarKan

'Just because I don't flaunt it, doesn't mean I don't have it.' - Harry Potter, The Order of the Phoenix by Ruskbyte
(The only fanfiction with the name "The Order of the Phoenix" worth your time.)

'I'm not sure that I'll forgive them for making us be the sensible ones.' - George to Fred, This Means War! by Jeconais

Thanks to J.K. Rowling for finishing the wonderful series of Harry Potter. I've enjyed every minute.
~ Rachel