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| Card Carrying Villains |
Author has written 24 stories for G. I. Joe, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe, Hellsing, Battlestar Galactica: 2003, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Homestuck, Parks and Recreation, Sherlock, Inglourious Basterds, D.E.B.S., Avengers, and Harry Potter. The Card Carrying Villains are a group of five writers: Spades - A bit of a weirdo with a tendency to ship pairings where the characters hate each other in canon. Has no sense of what is and isn't going to squick out the rest of the planet. Has the unfortunate luck of being short and cute and as such, a lolita (this is often made fun of). Has a Napoleon Complex the size of Asia. Has a slightly solipsistic tendency and believes she is the god of any world she imagines in her mind. Likes Homestuck, Katekyo Hitman Reborn!, Durarara!!, D.Gray-Man, Discworld, Harry Potter, drawing, yaoi and blood. Dislikes spelling or grammatical errors on billboards/public property/restaurant menus, windshield wipers that are out of sync with one another, un-alphabetized books, most humans, things that are monochromatic, grape medicine, needles, and weather hotter than 85 degrees farenheit (or Celsius. Kelvin's fine though). (I have my own separate account on here, so if the name Forte Nox means anything to you, then Hi. Quit stalking me :D ) Hearts - The only of the Card Carrying Villans to recently be in any sort of romantic relationship, thus the name. Also the resident vampire (pale, creepy girl who doesn't like sunlight, likes the taste of blood--Hey! I'm iron deficient!). I suppose I'm actually a bit of a hopeless romantic, but not often outwardly. I adore math, science, sci fi, reading anything at all including ancient philosophy, and poetry. I can seem much more snarky and cynical than I actually am, and most people peg me as "general extreme nerd" and so are surprised by my periodically bubbly and occasionally morbid (sometimes at the same time) moods, as well as my sense of humor which makes sense to no one (including myself). Some people are surprised at how often I swear. Others are surprised at how often I self-censor. As for fanfic, I like Doctor Who, Torchwood, Harry Potter, Firefly, Wicked, Hitchhiker's Guide, Battlestar Galactica, Good Omens, Monstrous Regiment, The Millenium Trilogy, Hellsing, Parks and Recreation, Sherlock and quite a few other's I'm not remembering right now. Oh, and I'm lesbian as hell and so write/read femmeslash. I like femmeslash stories that are nice combination of plot and sex (too much sex is just a bit gross) from any fandom. I dislike warm weather, humid weather, idiotic grammar and spelling mistakes, horribly written books (ie, Twilight), crazed caffeinated fangirl stalkers, and stereotyping. I'm now struggling to end this on a positive note...I love theater. There, that's positive! I'm also here as Impossible Cherry Blossom, so if you'd like that account: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2810137/Impossible_Cherry_Blossom Diamonds - A frequent loner and accomplished troll with more talent for drawing/illustrating stories than writing them. Likes Doctor Who, Torchwood, Reborn!, the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Durarara!!, Hellsing, and Homestuck. Also up there is annoying people (siblings especially) for the hell of it. Dislikes hot weather, bad spelling and grammar in fanfiction or otherwise, Twilight, and stalkerish fangirls. Most of the rest are tolerable. Tends to be verbose and occasionally forgets about contractions, though if given a word requirement she usually won't be able to meet it. So it goes. Clubs - A hopeless romantic (when it comes to fics, that is. In everyday life is pretty much indifferent), who has a tendency to start long, sometimes complicated storylines and never finish them. Or random and strange one-shots. Also has a tendency to become obsessed with newly discovered pairings to the point of writing nothing but stories about that pairing for weeks. Likes Hellsing, Harry Potter, Invader Zim, Star Wars, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Supernatural, Glee, and Death Note. Dislikes bright sunlight in the morning. NOTE: If you're looking for a story that Clubs has written and cannot find it, I have probably posted it on my personal account instead, found here -- http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2588682/cheetorion24 Jokers - A snarker with a talent for sarcasm, angst and coming up with crackitycrackcrack story concepts. Likes GI Joe, X-Men, Harry Potter, Dragon Age and Star Wars. Dislikes suddenly a romance! fics, misspelled fic summaries, Sues/Stus and Twilight. The book, not the time. The time is quite enjoyable. Also, unable to meet word limits. Tell me to write a page max, I write five. Tell me to write 700 words minimum, well...I'll get you around four hundred. Maybe. If you give me a loooooong time. See, look, my description already falls far behind the standard set by my fellow writers. A list of who wrote what, last updated on 5/28/12: Spades - Crazy Eights, Hopeless, Misery Pities Company, Not Too Late to Live, Only Half Hearts - Changing Names, Dubious Breathing, Faith, Love and Irene, Tears of Notlovers, Grateful Diamonds - Clarity, Promise, Sightless Clubs - Behind These Emerald Eyes, Death of the Immortal, Over and Over, The Man Who Knew Too Little (With Jokers) Jokers - A Little, In Which the Timeline Becomes Confused, Once Upon a Dreambubble, The Man Who Knew Too Little (With Clubs), The Water A note on reviews: The villains would appreciate reviews but, as Jokers is a bit of a pyromaniac (and Hearts likes to stand in the distance and laugh maliciously at bonfires), flames are discouraged. Alternatively, flames are used to power Spades' quantum transducer, which is used to convert random crap into plot. Which you don't really want if you think our stories are stupid, so really, flames are just counterproductive. This account is occupied by a group of people who are good friends who have a lot of fun together. None of use mind PMs, just don't get too creepy! | |||||||
1. Simple Song » reviewsNatasha falls in love, Clint is an asshole but a great friend, and the world spins on. Natasha/PepperAvengers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,176 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 3-6-13 - Published: 3-3-13 - Black Widow/Natasha R. & Pepper P. - Complete2. Love and War reviewsIt is a well established fact that love is harder than crime. Or war. Or as it turns out, crime-fighting. Most days, that's okay. Because most days, love is better. Today is not one of them. Lucy/Amy. Written by HeartsD.E.B.S. - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,063 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9-1-12 - Amy B. & Lucy D. - Complete3. The Man Who Knew Too Little » reviewsDeath agrees to help the Winchesters deal with Castiel after the S6 finale. But then the angel shows up in person, and everything changes. Destiel and other assorted pairings. By Clubs and JokersSupernatural - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 15 - Words: 37,744 - Reviews: 17 - Updated: 6-3-12 - Published: 9-21-11 - Dean W. & Castiel4. Grateful reviews"I told you that you could use my office, I didn't say you could murder beautiful women in my office." AU from Bridget's death on. Bridget/ShoshannaInglourious Basterds - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,376 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5-28-12 - Shosanna D. & B. Von Hammersmark - Complete5. The Water » reviewsThe Leviathans disappeared into the resevoir. When they next reappeared, Castiel was not with them. Instead, his Grace, his very essence, appeared in a place called Lake Silencio on April 22, 2011. Fic by jokers, T for safety. By Jokers.Crossover - Doctor Who & Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Supernatural - Chapters: 12 - Words: 17,573 - Reviews: 40 - Updated: 4-30-12 - Published: 10-1-11 - River Song/Melody P. III & Castiel - Complete6. Love and Irene reviewsPerhaps love had been her downfall in an old life, in the new one, it was her salvation. Irene and Kate post "A Scandal in Bohemia." By HeartsSherlock - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,272 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 4-29-12 - Irene A. - Complete7. Promise reviewsShe killed the friend he never met. By DiamondsHomestuck - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 877 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 3-11-12 - Terezi P. & John E. - Complete8. Once Upon A Dreambubble reviewsYou are Nepeta Leijon, and being dead is great, Aka the shenanigans of dead trolls. By JokersHomestuck - Rated: K - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,369 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 2-2-12 - Karkat V. & Nepeta L. - Complete9. Dubious Breathing reviewsIn the end, Ann wound up running Leslie's campaign again-Leslie/Ann fic, sort of a high T, borderline M. By HeartsParks and Recreation - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,932 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 1-17-12 - Ann P. & Leslie K.10. Changing Names reviewsYour name is ROSE LALONDE. Tonight, that will no longer be true. Rose/Kanaya Written by Hearts.Homestuck - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 890 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12-1-11 - Rose L. & Kanaya M. - Complete11. Sightless reviewsYou are Terezi Pyrope and you have taken it upon yourself to help Sollux learn how to see, your way. If only he'd listen to anything you have to say. T for swearing. By DiamondsHomestuck - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 833 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 11-15-11 - Terezi P. & Sollux C. - Complete12. Not Too Late To Live reviewsSollux is half-dead and on his way to full-dead. Aradia can't bring herself to tell him. But maybe things will work out anyway. Sollux/Aradia By SpadesHomestuck - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,160 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11-1-11 - Aradia M. & Sollux C.13. Crazy Eights reviewsLove is love, pity is pity. You can't help that you've fallen flushed for a sociopath. Really, it's not your fault.Homestuck - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,281 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 10-26-11 - Kanaya M. & Vriska S. - Complete14. Hopeless reviewsYou are Eridan Ampora and you are about to make a very painful choice. Warning: Major character death, serious angsting. By SpadesHomestuck - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,998 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 10-24-11 - Eridan A. - Complete15. Only Half reviewsThe realization that Gamzee has voices in his head and, when sober, is prone to bipolar personality issues catches the attention of Sollux, who decides that the last thing Gamzee needs right now is to be alone. He should know. Sollux/Gamzee. By SpadesHomestuck - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,894 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 10-23-11 - Sollux C. & Gamzee M. - Complete16. Clarity reviewsYou are Gamzee Makara and this is your real life. Welcome to the dark carnival... By DiamondsHomestuck - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,419 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10-16-11 - Gamzee M. - Complete17. Misery Pities Company reviewsYou are Kanaya Maryam and you have been unceremoniously dropped into the position of deciding whether to become Eridan's new moirail or leave him alone to commit genocide. It's an easier decision than you think it should be. Rated T for swearing. By SpadeHomestuck - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,760 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 10-12-11 - Eridan A. & Kanaya M. - Complete18. Over and OverOver and over Dean has fallen for Cas. And that's why he can't let himself hope that there may be a way out when the angel goes all vengeful God on them. But being the stupid bastard he is, he just can't help it. Destiel, T for language. By Clubs.Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,629 - Published: 9-29-11 - Dean W. & Castiel - Complete19. Behind These Emerald Eyes reviewsCas is just...gone. He disappeared after defeating Raphael, and try as he might, Dean just doesn't know what to do anymore. He's lost another friend, another person he considered part of his makeshift family. He's just...gone. Spoilers for 6x22. By ClubsSupernatural - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,695 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8-31-11 - Dean W. & Castiel - Complete20. In Which the Timeline Becomes Confused reviewsBecause really, there is no good reason to steal a bagpipe. By JokersCrossover - Doctor Who & Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,278 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 8-25-11 - 10th Doctor & Barty C. Jr. - Complete21. Tears of NotLoversIt had been a bad breakup, in the past. There wasn't enough time, in the present. Cain/Starbuck, Cain/Roslin. By HeartsBattlestar Galactica: 2003 - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,034 - Published: 7-13-11 - H. Cain & L. Roslin22. Death of the Immortal reviewsAlternate ending to Hellsing TV series with Incognito . Seras, fearing she may die trying to help her master defeat Incognito, shares her true feelings for the other vampire. AXS By ClubsHellsing - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,222 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7-5-11 - Alucard & Seras - Complete23. Faith reviewsIdgie was not one for prayer. Except sometimes. Maybe. One-shot, slightly fluffy. By HeartsFried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 375 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6-26-11 - Complete24. A Little reviewsOr: four ways the Hard Master didn't survive, and one way he did from a certain point of view . Rated T for a little bit of swearing and death. By JokersG. I. Joe - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,080 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 6-20-11 - Storm Shadow & Snake Eyes - Complete
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