Author has written 7 stories for Twilight, and Bleach.
RULES:(Updated 3/25/13 :P)
You must fill out EVERY question! No skipping!
Copy and paste this on your profile!
1. Perfect? Nope.
2. Tall? Yes.
3. In your pajamas? Yes
4. Left handed? No.
1. Friend you saw: Hannah
3. Person to text you: Christine.
4. Was today better than yesterday? Nah.
1. Number: 315, or 7
2. Color(s): Black, purple, blue, blue-green, and blood red.
3. Fruit: Apples or pears. Maybe oranges.
4. Place: Japan, Kentucky.
1. Are you missing someone right now? Yes.
2. Are you happy? No.
3. Are you sad? Yeah.
4. Are you bored? Yes
6. Are you nervous? No.
8. Are you tired? No. I wish, then I could sleep!
1.Real name? Destiny Marie Phillips. (There are hundreds of those. How in the hell can you find someone just by name? If you could, I would've found someone a loooong time ago. :P)
2. Nick names? Desi.
3. Eye color? A blue-ish green-ish grey-ish color.
4. Zodiac sign? Virgo(September 15, people!!)
5. Male or female? Female
6. Slut? No, but I have one in my family.
7. Smart? You could say that...
8. Hair color? Blonde with natural highlights.
9. Hair length? Medium.
10. Sweats or Jeans? Jeans
11. Phone or Camera? Phone.
12. Drink or Smoke? Ew. I'm not old enough. Gross.
13. Righty or lefty? Righty.
1. First best friend? Marissa.
2. First crush? Taylor.
3. First pet? Kitty, Blacky.
4. First big vacation? Not really a vacation, but I moved to New Mexico for two years.
1. Eating? No.
2. Drinking? Not thristy.
3. I'm about to: Bitch at my friend.
4. Listening to? The washing machine and my grandma's Soaps.
5. Plans for today? None.
WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
1. Shorter or taller? Taller.
2. Romantic or spontaneous? Spontanious and a little bit Romantic.
3. Sensitive or loud? Both.
4. Hook-up or relationship? Relationship.
HAVE YOU EVER:
1. Drank bubbles? Yes.
2. Lost glasses/contacts? Yes.
3. Ran away from home? No.
4. Broken someone's heart? Possibly, when I moved away from the first person that may have loved me.
5. Been arrested? Never.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
1. Miracles? No.
2. Yourself? No.
3. Heaven? I want to, I really do, but There just isn't enough proof.
4. Santa Claus? No
4. Love? Maybe?
5. Do you like someone? Yes.
6. Do you believe in God? See: Heaven.
7. Answered the truth on all questions? Yes.
AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! OH MY GOD WHATTHEHELLWHYINTHEFUCKDIDYOUDOTHATWHATTHEHELLISWRONGWITHYOUDAMNYOUTITEKUBO! TITE KUBO! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU KILL BYAKUYA??? WHAT THE FUCKING HELL??? FUCK. YOU.
(WAIT. He's now alive? :O And, apparently something to do with Kenpachi. XD I don't know, I stopped reading the manga, I get all my info from twitter. XD)
LISTEN UP! I DONT WRITE AU/AH STORIES ABOUT ANYTHING!
I'm sorry, but all my stories, except, like, 2, are on temporary/permanent hiatus. I've just... Lost my motivation for them for now.
http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs11/i/2006/166/4/b/The_Twin_Blades_by_crayishikara.jpg Mine and Christine's swordss. I have no clue if they're from something or just random swords. :P I don't own them at all. I just looked on Google Images for swords. XD
I'm The BOLD
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm Black so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PORTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND/ORCHESTRA, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT ,so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, so I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, andnot be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp
Quotes That I like
"Where are we going?" Stark asked again.
"Well, it feels like a dungeon. Smells like mold and kinda weird b.o., the institutional decor is suitable for either a prison or a hospital psych ward, and it makes Damien think he's died and gone to dork heaven. So take a guess."
"We're going back to human high school?"
-Stark and Aphrodite, Burned.
"If I shot an arrow and thought about an ass, would it surprise you if it hit Erik? (Tempted)" Stark
"That man is a damn turd-monkey." Grandma Redbird-
"I'm Choosing Good Over Evil, Light Over Darkness. I Choose My Humanity"- Hunted. Stark
If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you like to freak the hell out of people, just to see the look in their faces, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you don't give a damn about being popular, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever tickled the hell out of someone, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think a better world is possible, copy and paste this into your profile.
Only fteefin prenect of poelpe can raed this. fI you are one fo taht prenect, cpoy and pstae tihs itno yuor porflie.
Drugs are bad news. Spread the word. Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your profile.
If you like reading fics, copy and paste this into your profile.
If someone ever called you insane or crazy and you laughed, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever laughed so devilish that everyone around you backed off, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever gazed blankly at somewhere, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever had a cute pet, copy and paste this it into your profile.
If you watch South park, copy and paste this into your profile.
98 percent of authors confuse "you're" and "your". If you're one of the 2 percent who knows how to tell them apart, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your Profile.
If your playlist is 15 songs or longer, copy/paste this into your profile.
If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever felt bored at school, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you want a cookie right now, copy and paste this into your profile.
.eliforp ruoy otni etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI
If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you like to read what people put in their profiles, and you like Copy & Paste stuff, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
If you ever lived in a country with earthquakes, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever managed to steal cookies from the kitchen, without getting caught, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you like to wear hoods, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever played extremely bloody and cruel games, dispatching your foes with no remorse, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "cookie", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile. There's always lemons.
If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are the complete opposite of normal, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever yelled at the book you were reading because the characters did something stupid post this on your profile.
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy and paste this into your profile if you are one of the few people who would answer "where to begin?"
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you ever threatened a computer or video game console, add this to your profile.
If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.
If several inanimate objects hate you, post this on your profile.
If you actually take the time to read other people's profiles, put this in yours.
If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fanfiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.
If you want to learn Japanese, copy/paste this into your profile.
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.
Whether it's between two males, two females, or a female and a female, love is love! if you agree, put this in your profile.
If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.
If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have a tendency to talk to your self, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever crashed into a wall, then noticed that it was a wall then still apologized, copy/paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever been called eccentric/enigmatic copy/paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile.
If you don't watch Laguna Beach, Jersy Shore or The Hills, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that life without computers is useless, copy and paste this to your profile.
Mental Hospital Phone Menu:
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital!
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blond, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up .
19 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity:
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on you desk and label it "In".
5. Put decaf in in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For smuggling drugs".
7. Finish all of your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy".
8. don't use any punctuation
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "To go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sound all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friend you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have you co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!".
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives! They're loose!"
19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
1. Your reading my comment
2. Now your saying/thinking that's a stupid fact.
4. You didn't notice that i skipped 3.
5. Your checking it now.
6. Your smiling.
7. Your still reading my comment.
8. You know all you have read is true.
10. You didn't notice that i skipped 9.
11. Your checking it now.
12. You didn't notice there are only 10 facts.
8 Ways to scare your roommates.
8) Get alot of potatoes and draw faces on them and name them and make one your roommate. Then after a while eat your roommate potato. When your roommate ask why say "He just didn't belong".
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."
6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.
2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."
Answering Machine Messages:
1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya, We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right...really slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.
2. Hi. I'm probably home, but I'm avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't get back to you, it's you.
3. Hi. Now YOU say something!
4. Hello, if you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call you sooner.
5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.
6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have Lots of money!!
7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these plastic magnets.
8. This is not an answering machine...it's a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think your name, your number, and your reason for calling...and I'll think about returning your call.
9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number, and they will get back with you.
10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see that the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad.'
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing to you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.
I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.
But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a caravan in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.
Your son, Joshua.
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table!
There's three ways to do things:
The right way.
The wrong way.
And my way, which is wrong too, but faster!
If has anything to do with fire, I'm totally in!
Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.
If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable!
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
.:You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same:.
YOUR GUY SIDE:
You love hoodies.
You love jeans.(Honestly, they're a hell of a lot better than skirts. *Shudder* D: )
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt. (One of my life motto's: Laugh at stupidity first, check pulse later.)
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck. (Ahhh, this is kinda in between... I like them, but I HATE them... It's so weird... I love angst, buttt I dislike any types of movies... Fanfictions, however... :D)
You own/ed an X-Box.(Yep.)
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid. (When I get bored, I sometimes still do. Depends on the level of boredom, and whether I have access to them...)
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.(Who didn't, boy or otherwise?)
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega. (Yepp.)
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.(You have absolutely no idea just how obsessed... I was the power ranger's biggest fan. And so was my friend Savannah. XD))
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool. (I like blood, so what?)
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people. (The biggest one I've ever been to had only me and three other people...)
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.(Crimson is a shade of red... :D)
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.(And so does Christine.)
Sports are fun.
Talk with food in your mouth.(Hehehe...)
Sleep with your socks on at night.
YOUR GIRL SIDE:
You wear lip gloss/stick. (Of coursse.)
You love to shop. (Okay, I'm not that girly, buut I love shopping. XD)
You wear eyeliner. (Sometimes... Sometimes I'm too lazy to put any makeup on...)
You wear the color pink. (Well, I don't actually try to, I just grab whatever out of my closet. It doesn't really matter about the color.)
Go to your mom for advice. (Well, going to my dad about... Female probs would be very weird. JS.)
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.(Okay, no, I don't, but, seriously, who hates black? Idiots...)
You like hanging out at the mall. (When I get the chance to go, and actually have money, yes, I do.)
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures. (It's relaxing...)
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies. (What? It doesn't specify... Not necessarily for clothes, but...)
You don't like the movie Star Wars.(I have never seen it, nor do I want to.)
You were in gymnastics/dance? (When I was like, 5.)
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up. (30/40 minutes to shower, 5 to get dressed, and 30/45 minutes to put on makeup. What? It's not like I always wear makeup, but it's complicated...)
You smile a lot more than you should.(This... Has nothing to do with being a girl.)
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.(Who doesn't? If you don't... O.o I mean, Idgaf about looking absolutely perfect but I wouldn't wanna look like I just crawled out of a sewer... Know what I mean? >.You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies. (Sometimes...)
Used to play with dolls as little kid.(Hehe...)
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing
10 Commandments of a Teenager
1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(Why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(Destruction has a bigger effect)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(Everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Just start them)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(Just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "Just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(Just leave ‘em in the middle)
Paste the bunny on your profile and join the dark side!
This is Bunny. I got him from someone else. Copy and paste Bunny into your signature to help him gain world domination.
SUPPORT THE BUNNY!
If you want your army of killer bunnies to rule the world, copy this and paste this on your profile.
Ok, so WHAT!?
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole! Copy and paste this if you have ever wondered the same thing.
You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
There is no "I" in team but there is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...
Be a loser! Because being cool is so overrated!
It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?
Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
Guns don’t kill people. Bullets kill people. I mean, DUH
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why is there Braille on the drive up ATM machine??
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why do we park in the driveway and drive on the park way?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
Have you ever been captured by evil squirrels and taken to their secret squirrel hideout, but rescued by your vampire love, who ran around with a machine gun shouting die squirrels, die?
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear brighter before you hear them speak?
Why does an 'X' stand for kiss?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, how can it be good to 'quit while your ahead?'
Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
"Cute as a button." Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
Can you get cornered in a round room?
If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?
Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate? I mean DUH!
"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
Can mute people burp?
What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?
How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?
If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?
Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
If your sick for one week and on one of those days they had to cancel school because of snow, do you have to make up that day in June?
Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?
If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?
Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are? Do they lie?
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies. His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
A moment of silence.
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em. If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em. If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em. If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em. If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.
Truth of a reader
When you look at a reader you see a person thats smart and gets good grades.
A person who has a imagination greater than some and can come up with great stories.
But do you really know a reader?
A reader is someone who buries thier time in a book to be cut off from the rest of the world.
A reader is somone who put themself into a book to be cut off from the shit that the rest of the world gives them.
A reader is someone needs to see the pain of themself in another person to find the meaning.
A reader is somone who feels depressed and needs to be alone.
Now do you know a reader?
If you see yourself in these words copy and paste this on to your profile to let the world know who a reader is.
I am the girl...
I am the girl who locked herself in the bathroom at McDonalds and refused to come out until she'd finished reading Breaking Dawn.
I am the girl who got in a screaming match on the street over Team Edward versus Team Jacob.
I am the girl who burst into tears at Subway when she finished reading Bloodrose-Book 3 of the Nightshade series.
I am the girl who forced her mom to drive her to the mall so she could buy the 3rd Seekers book.
I am the girl who was once literally bored to tears in school.
I am the girl who never sleeps at night.
I am the girl who decided to kidnap Reth from Paranormalcy.
I am the girl who can fall asleep while listening to Disturbed at full blast on headphones on a school bus full of screaming people.
I am the girl on youtube who gets in comment wars constantly.
I am the girl with heavy metal in her blood.
I am the girl who held a funeral for her laptop.
I am the girl who is severely romantically-challenged.