ATTENTION MICHELLE COLE: YES, ITS ME, YOUR FRIEND WHOSE NAME STARTS WITH A "K." IF YOU ARE READING THIS, STOP RIGHT NOW AND REMEMBER YOUR PROMISE. IF YOU VALUE OUR FRIENDSHIP YOU WILL NOT READ PAST THE BOLD SCRIPT AND WILL IMMEDIATELY PROCEED TO FORGET YOU EVER FOUND OUT MY PENNAME. IF YOU READ AHEAD ANYWAYS, AND IF I EVER FIND OUT YOU DID, THEN I SHALL BE SEVERELY DISAPPOINTED AND EXTREMELY SAD. IF YOUR NAME IS NOT MICHELLE COLE AND YOU HAVE JUST READ THIS ANGRY RANT... well, please ignore it, it was not meant for you. Continue on with your day. :)

ABOUT ME:

Where to start? Fangirl extraordinaire first and foremost. I’m around 16 years old. I’m of average height and build with very non-average short curly brown hair. Not that you care about my physical appearance, so let’s move on to the more interesting stuff. I joined a fencing class last year and I can honestly say it’s the third best thing that’s ever happened to me, second best being discovering fanfiction.net and first being discovering books. Not only have I found the first sport I’ve ever enjoyed in my life, I’ve made awesome new friends, fulfilled all the clichés in the book, and even fallen for a guy in the class. Not only that but it’s had a huge impact on my fitness and my lifestyle and been hugely inspiring in taking my life in a healthier direction. As for my personality… well… I can crave solitude and want nothing more than to curl up with a nice book one moment and the next be having a blast with my friends at the pool, it all depends on my mood. And that’s about it.

TELEVISION:

Okay. Settle in and prepare for a list the likes of which only a fan girl could provide. First off, I love watching TV. I’m obsessed with:
House MD. Devoted Hilson shipper. Still mad that the didn’t get together in the finale. I hate Huddy. Still gloating that they never made it and House went back to Wilson. That about sums it up for me.
Star Trek (Deep Space Nine, Voyager and Enterprise, I’ve never seen TNG or TOS). I worship DS9 and the ground it stands upon. (Or more accurately, the shelf space it takes up.) Currently on my second rewatch of the series. I also love Voyager and Enterprise, too. And I love Star Trek as a whole so much that I went with my fam to the Vegas convention last year and met Nana Visitor. Was I star struck? Oh yeah. Best day ever? No doubt about that.
Warehouse 13. Still waiting for the third season to come out on DVD. Delightfully kitschy and fun. Shipped Artie and MacPherson for a while, but now I think they’re just more like platonic soul mates. Still wish MacPherson hadn’t died though.
Lost. All I can say is WOW. I loved Lost, and I was totally bummed when the credits rolled on the final episode. (Which I enjoyed, despite popular opinion to the contrary.) I only wish Ben and Rousseau could have married in the parallel universe thingy and adopted Alex and they could have been all one happy family. Shipped Kate and Sawyer for the longest time and was vaguely disappointed that they didn’t work out. Also, Desmond and Lapidus are the bomb.
Once Upon A Time. Don’t even get me started. Oh, the theories I’ve spun, the ships I’ve shipped! Even having had a taste of the writers’ flair from watching Lost, I am still constantly side swiped by the plot twists they throw in. But as long as Rumbelle becomes a sure thing in season 2 I’m willing to forgive absolutely anything.
Big Bang Theory. Hilarious and not too dirty. Plus they’re all nerds and I get their Star Trek references. ‘Nuf said.
Top Gear (UK version, of course) James, Richard and Jeremy: my boys!! Almost as funny as the Big Bang Theory, twice as interesting, and add the British accents and the good looks and you have a recipe for success IMO. You forget you’re even watching a car show by the second time you’ve seen them blow something up, make a politically incorrect joke that everyone laughs at anyways, or buy yet another piece of shit car and go drive it through an equally piece of shit country. You haven’t witnessed British television in all its glory till you’ve seen this show. (Whovians and Sherlockians, I’m looking at you.)

BOOKS:

Thanks to tumblr, I haven’t been reading a lot lately, and that worries me slightly. But a new book will catch my attention eventually and drag me away from my computer screen long enough for me to finish it… they I’ll be drawn right back again like a moth to flame. So here’s a short list of my faves:
Discworld Series. It’s a bit of a strange story how I came across this series, but I thank the powers that be that I did. I’ve read all the City Watch, Death, and Moist Von Lipwig books, and any book with Vimes or Vetinari is my favorite. (Because Vetinari is a badass piece of awesome and I love him to death.) For a while I shipped him and Vimes, but I’m not so keen on it anymore. As for my favorite book, Soul Music (my first) would have to be a contender, with Night Watch and Going Postal challenging.
Harry Potter. I don’t think I need to say much here. I read Chamber of Secrets in third grade and became an instant devotee. Haven’t looked back since. Attended the midnight premiere of DH part 2 and cried at Snape’s memories. Don’t ask me to pick a favorite book or movie, because I won’t. The series is a whole and belongs together, I couldn’t split them up by differentiating.
Evil Genius. I passed this book up twice in Barnes and Noble before I finally bought it, some extra cash burning a hole in my pocket and the thought “Well, why not?” ringing in my mind. Best goddamn decision I ever made. Before I read this book I thought that Harry Potter was my favorite series. But Catherine Jinks picked me up, threw me across the parking lot, bloodied my nose and then drew me back in for more. I don’t think I’ve ever cried harder than when I read the ending of the third book. For me, this series is the epitome of all things. If I ever find something to equal it I shall be very surprised.
Sherlock Holmes. I read the canon all the way through in 8th grade and liked it well enough. Then I reread it a year later and loved it. It was the first fandom I entered, the first fandom I ever wrote fan fiction for, and the fandom that introduced me to my dear friend Hiding.in.the.cookie.jar, for which I’m doubly grateful. It’s led to movie obsessions with TV adaptations, movie adaptations, and countless hours of summer vacation that I spent systematically reading fanfiction like it was going out of style. Just one thing: I’m not a Holmes/Watson shipper. Their friendship is too sacred for me to ship them (I prefer to think of them as heterosexual life partners) but I totally understand the people who do slash them, so no hate here.
Good Omens. My discovery of this stemmed from my Discworld obsession, and my oh my what a discovery it was. Laughing till I cried, giggling till I choked at all the slashiness of Aziraphale/Crowley, and then MORE countless hours reading fanfiction. (I have honestly looked through the whole archive of fics for them on here. No joke.) Can I just say, to any fans out there, that Crowley/Aziraphale deserve to be together, in their totally-obviously-gay-but-not-gay-ineffable-frenemy sort of way?
Inkheart. The holy of all holies. Not because it’s my favorite book, not because it changed my life (well, indirectly I suppose,) but because whereas before I read this I was unsupportive of same sex relationships, thinking them unnatural in my ignorance. Then I read a single line in Inkspell, and all that changed as it sprouted a seed that turned into my first slash pairing: The Piper/Firefox. THIS is my OTP, my one one-true pairing, the first and the original and my most loved. And then I realized I couldn’t ship a slash pairing and still hold the opinions I did on homosexuals, and my way of thinking was suddenly altered for the better. I now have oodles of support for the LGBT community and if I was older would actively advocate for them. Plus, this is the pairing that led me to fanfiction.net in search of fellow shippers, and though I found only a couple it started a chain reaction that has led to here. And I will never regret it.
A Song of Ice and Fire. First of all, most explicit thing I’ve ever read. Second of all, one of the most riveting things I’ve ever read. Third of all, I ship Stannis and Davos like there’s no tomorrow, and if you hate me for it you can get your ass off my profile cus I don’t care. Where was I… fourth of all? Ah yes. GRRM, you need to hurry your bearded carcass up and write TWoW before you die or become senile or your fans abandon you in rage! Because we can’t wait another six years, dammit!

PAIRINGS AND MISCELLANEOUS:

I also cherish some slightly strange slash pairings... Count Rugen/Prince Humperdinck from Princess Bride, for example. Andre and Firmin from Phantom of the Opera delight me in their quirky relationship. I also firmly ship Barbossa/Jack from PotC. If you also ship these people, PM me!! I will happily fangirl with you about them any time! A slightly less strange pairing that I ship would be MorMor, or Moriarty/Moran for the uninitiated. However, I ship it most strongly in the Ritchie movie!verse, NOT the Sherlock series as is so prevalent. (Though I do ship it there too, I just prefer my MorMor to be hanging around in waistcoats and riding in hansom cabs. Plus Jared Harris and Paul Anderson totally sell the characters and Sherlock's Moriarty is just a bit creepy. Also, let's not forget my brief but passionate Suits ship period, where I ate, drank, slept, breathed and thought Marvey (Mike/Harvey) all day every day. Since the first season ended I've cooled off a lot from it, but I think if I ever got around to watching the second season I'd ship them just as hard again. Until that time, however, my Suits community for Marvey slash is stagnant and will remain so. I would really like to see someone take it off my hands for me. If you're interested in it and the work required to keep it up (I used to come home from school every day to sit down and read through the fics that had been posted since yesterday and pick out the ones that were slash to add them to the community) PM me (please!) and we'll work something out. Or if you don't want all that, just become a staffmember, it would be a load off my mind.

STORY UPDATES: (Only pertains to stories without a "complete" label)

Sherlock Holmes: Dinner At Simpson's, One Way or Another
This is on a permanent hiatus; I am out of ideas and haven't reread the canon recently enough to write Holmes and Watson in character. Probably will finish it eventually; exactly when eventually will come around is open to speculation. Besides, it's not that popular anyways, so I don't think anyone cares.
Sherlock Holmes: Pipe Smoke and London Fog
I am no longer actively adding new fics to this collection on account of my Sherlock muse having temporarily left me, and being devoid of new ideas. But I am not putting a "complete" on it just yet, because one day I will return to it. Eventually. (Ah, there's that damn "eventually" again. He's a dangerously unpredictable fellow.)
Sherlock Holmes: The Chess Set Rehabilitation
Chapter four is posted, FINALLY. Call it writers block or lack of inspiration, however, after that I've reached a standstill. Since so many people have it on alerts and I owe it to my dear Cookie, I will one day sit myself down and force myself to finish it... but that day is not today. Don't lose hope, though. Stories with "Incomplete" markers on them annoy me probably as much as they do you.

COPY AND PASTE QUOTES:

Ah, the obligatory drivel. Well, here you go, have fun:

If you love that Professor X and Magneto always call each other by their real names, Charles and Erik, put this on your profile.
WHETHER IT'S BETWEEN TWO MALES, TWO FEMALES, OR A MALE AND A FEMALE, LOVE IS LOVE!! ...if you agree, put this in your profile.
A large percentage of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you are one of the ones that do and want to deck 'em, put this in your profile.
If you love rain, the wind, and the cold copy and paste this in to your profile.
If reality is a foreign country you only visit in between books, put this in your profile.
"What moves those of genius, what inspires their work, is not new ideas, but their obsession... with the idea that what has already been said is still not enough." - Eugene Delacroix (I think this sums up the soul of a fanfiction writer perfectly, don't you?)

Did you really read all the way through my profile till the end? Well, I'm rather flattered! But enough of reading about me. Go read my stories! They are a lot more interesting, I promise you!