Blah blah blah, Zeromaru, bringer of destruction and all that crap. I've mellowed out a fuckload since i first started, though you wont notice by the rants below. I'm into gaming, my girlfriend, anime chicks (cause fuck, they're made to be perfect) anime, some books and mostly gaming. No, i dont have a PS3. Birthday's March 14th, same day (supposedly) as Albert Einstien. Great man him.

My setup includes my girlfriend's TV, which is old, and i cant be assed to check the measurements (it's not big at all), a PS2, a Cube, A WII, an Xbox, a shitton of Cube controllers, a DS (fatass for me, skinny bastard for my woman) an SP...somewhere, and a PSP. my damn 360 red ring'd on me, so i'm out one system, and i'm TRYING to gather money for a ps3. Yes i have Pokemon laugh if you want, but everyone with a brain knows the game is fucking hardcore. Just look up the phrase EV Training and you'll see why it's no longer a kiddy game...fucking metagamers.

i work at a Genuardi's in Warwick Square in Jamison PA, and yes, i gave you the location for a reason, if your there, i'm the zoned out black dude doing the carts. Word up and all that shit. That might change though. i've got a girl, she's hot, though she could stand to lose some weight (so could i for that matter). basically normal average damn near ninteen year old kid who's really got no fucking clue what he's doing with his life.

I also go by the names Kai, Xenmaru and Zero, depending on what medium i'm using. I dont go out much (lack of a car...I GOTS MY LICENSE BITCHES!, tends to kill movement) so i'm kinda stupid. Well, obviously not i mean fuck, look at the hits on my fics man.

No i didnt complete high school, yes you can laugh at me (i'll just launch a Gali at you, i think i can steal Norman's Phanto for a bit...) yes i'm gonna get a GED later on (money first bitch), no i dont know what i want to be when i immerse myself fully in the working world. though now i'm starting to get an idea. obviously, if you've read anything i've written, you can tell i'm good. not THE BEST, not OH MY GOD I WANT YOUR BIOGRAPHY good, but good. I'm thinking of possibly going into writing character backgrounds or story bases for possible new video games. i've got a few ideas...and maybe if i got the money and a crew together, we could make an MMO or something...

i'm not religious in the slightest, but you could say that i believe that anything is possible, and yes i mean ANYTHING. even flying space monkeys with shark heads and lasers shooting out of their asses riding giant green penisdemons surrounded by walking tentacle vagina monsters seeking to drain the semen of young female boys (you read that right, go watch bible black, then talk) to further their master's race of underground fish-dog fairy horses running around with fig-leaved underpants singing about hugging and love and giant sun babies giggling at flaming shit piles with TVs in the center which are really gateways to the Meat Dimension where everyone's missing socks are found.

no, i'm not high, nor am i drunk. insane? ...well you would be too if you found out at thirteen that everything you've lived was a lie.

yes, i'm bitter, yes, i know people have lead worse lives, well guess what, they arent me. am i an asshole because i feel no pity for them? Possibly. humans are worthless creatures, seeking to make themselves feel better about themselves and the world by beliving they actually give a shit. oh some of them do, and gods bless them, for they are the few "pure" beings in the world, but at the same time, damn them too. you're still ignorant, but keep it up, you might actually change someone's life around, and that's always an interesting thing to see.

In short, i dont care. but at the same time, i do. Dont you just hate walking the middle? no you dont, you cant even SEE the middle. and if you think you can, by all means, make words to me. i might find you interesting enough to have a plesant debate with you. tha'd be fun, i need to find more open minded people.

Hope, Courage, Wisdom, Intelligence, Purity, Desire, Comprehension. These are the seven "virtues" of humanity. everyone has at least one. Many have more. Few have most, and someone with all is damn near impossible to find. Read my fics, most of them involve further descriptions of these aspects. if enough people complain that i need to put those meanings here, i will.

Also, flamers (no, not gay people, the asshole reviewers that have nothing better to do than to bash a fic just because they can) are the most moronic creatures ever. You know why? Because they already failed. We got them to read it, we pissed them off SO much they just couldnt leave it at just clicking the X on their tab or window, they HAD to say something.

Guess what, retards? We win. Because we managed to catch your attention so strongly you just HAD to speak. That's a victory for us writers. Keep 'em coming, your stupidity simply fuels our stories.

That all your questions? Oh wait no, sexuality and all that.

Fine, i fucked a dude, but i'm dating a chick. Happy? I was bored, he was bored, i was on top (cause i'm like that) we're cool, we both preferred women at the time though (in the end i think he fully embraced his homosexuality, but hey, good on him.) So yeah, i've played both sides of the field, prefer the one WITHOUT shit dangling between their legs though. Plus, boobs. Big bouncing sacks of fat, juices and muscle that are for some ungodly reason alluring to straight men and bi/lesbian women everywhere. I would honestly like to know why the FUCK those things are so damn...interesting.

You done with the questions now? No? Fuck you too. Just...email me them or something i dont give a crap what you do.

oh yeah...FUCK YAOI!!

That is all.

Anyone know of any good Harry/Luna fics? I'm trying to find some big ones to take a look at. and a mother fucking NON-SYMBOL GIVING English to Japanese translation site would be a fucking GODSEND as well. I've got a friggin dictionary with a kana chart, i dont need the damn symbols. i need the damn romaji.

I promised i'd assist anyone needing the songs in my fics, so here's the link to the best game music MP3 site i've found...IT'S FREE!

http://gh.ffshrine.org/soundtracks.php

Alright, because i promised some people, and i've been mentioning them a shitton in my fics, here's the link to one of my favorite things right now, the Something Awful LP Archive hosted by From Earth.

http://www.letsplayarchive.com/

Read and enjoy...for they play it so we wont have to. God bless them all...

Personal reccomendations are:

Anything done by TheDarkId
Anything done by RedChocobo
Alice In Wonderland by FredMSloniker
AccountingNightmare's Let's Play Devil May Cry (and soon to come ) Devil May Cry 2 threads
Final Fantasy VIII by Leovinus
Kaizo Mario World's 1 and 2 (for sheer hilarity)
Rez by Rin
Sonic Advance by Volcano Style (follow those to Trin Tragula's Sonic the Hedgehog 1/2/3&Knuckles videos)
Kingdom Hearts Chain of Memories by Mistaya
Monster Rancher's 1 and 2 by Mr. Swoon
LETS PLAY SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 2006 THIS IS REQUIRED WATCHING.
Sonic Unleashed by Pokecapn
Worms Armageddon Tournament
F-Zero GX by MaxwellAdams
oh fuck it, ANYTHING done by ANY of the Freelance Astronauts (Which includes Zelda Twilight Princess, Master Quest, Majora's Mask, CONTRA, Tetris, KICKBOAT and more)

Lyrics...yes, my latest completed fic has a few...odd...songs in it.

...unfortunately the site i used to link them vanished into obscurity. wonderful. and i, in my infinite wisdom FORGOT to save the damn lyrics.

Rants on Characters:

Alright, though in most of my fics it's clear what characters i can't stand, i figure it's best to put it here exactly what my gripes are with ceartain ones.

Starting with Naruto:

Sauske: I fucking HATE HIM. He really needs a reality check. His entire LIFE is based on what he found out through a GENJUTSU used by his brother, who claimed to kill the clan "to test his strength." Ok, i get he was a kid when it happened, so he wouldnt have been able to see things too clearly, but come on, as he gets older, you'd think that he'd realize "Hey wait a minute...fuckin Itachi used a Dojutsu against me...could he have been...lying?" No. He doesnt. Anyone who thinks Sasuke is sooo cool or sooo smart needs to be shot. Repeatedly. And then strangled with their own intestines. He DID have potential. that he did. He had skill, that he did. But rather than being SMART and gaining his strength through true work, like Itachi did (note, Itachi was Anbu at what, 11? 12? Sasuke JUST hit Genin by 12, already he's FAR behind), he goes and gets it the cheap way through the curse seal. And before anyone bitches and says "well naruto uses the fox's chakra!" USE YOUR BRAIN! Naruto was practically BORN with that ability. It's like saying Sasuke is cheap for using the Sharingan (which he is, but that's a matter of the ability itself, not the user, for once). As soon as Naruto was born BAM there's Kyuubi in him. Not to mention, Kyuubi will act on its own! The curse seal requires Sasuke to want it's power to activate, wheras if Naruto's getting owned (or Big K is bored) Kyuubi will throw some chakra at Naruto.

Overall, Sasuke COULD have been damn good a character. But his stupidity, ignorance and sheer worthlessness denied him such. And NOW the bloody bastard magially has the power to supress Kyuubi. That's like saying some random nobody can kill God. BULL MOTHER FUCKING SHIT!

Naruto: Dont have as many gripes with him, but fuckin A man! Fuckin TALK TO THE MOTHER FUCKING KYUUBI! Even if the bastard lies at LEAST you're getting information! You've got a bloody God-Level being sealed in your gut! TALK TO THE BASTARD! Maybe, just MAYBE, you'll find USEFUL shit out! Fine if you dont want to use it's power, i understand it can kill you if you go to far with it, but fucking CHRIST! The bastard's got nothing to do but watch and sleep! Give it something to do dammit! It may be a demon but nobody said it was PURE EVIL! And even if it was, sometimes pure evil can be useful!

Konoha as a Whole: Needs to be destroyed. Seriously. What group of idiots finds out that the thing that tried to blow their village to hell is sealed in a CHILD, and then calls for the child's death? What. The. Fuck. I hope Kishimoto blows that place to hell. I really do. They didnt need to pamper him. That they did not. But treat him like an equal. He neednt be treated like a savior, or a god, or anything. Just a normal kid. People are stupid. I mean look at Gaara. They feared him, but that was justified, he killed shit. Naruto didnt. they had no right to treat him as they did. And they still did. Thus, they need to be destroyed. Ichiraku and his daughter, the rookie nine, and one or two other people deserve to escape, Konohamaru Corps included. Everyone else, bye bye.

If i ever write a Naruto fic, i'm going to probably end it with Konoha's destruction, or someone casting a mass genjutsu on the entire village that causes them to be placed inside Naruto's shoes, and treated as he was. Those that truely, wholely regret what they've done will be freed, while everyone else will slowly rot.

More later as i figure shit out.

MOAR RANTAGE! Shit just got real. Also, if you havent been following the manga, FUCK OFF. And i mean that in the nicest way possible. thar be spoilers below.

On the Demon Containers: Alright, i've got a theory. The closer to "synchonised" the demons and their hosts are, the more powerful the jinkurichi or whatever way it's spelled. (cant be assed to look it up right now.) Thus: NARUTO IS THE WEAKEST ONE. Here's why: Going by my theory, the stronger the link between demon and host, the more power without backlash can be obtained, therefore the more potent the power. with Yugito and Nibi, it seemed that the two were pretty much alright with one another, so she went down fighting, and fighting hard. with whoever had the Yonbi, i heard somewhere that he and his demon are basically in complete harmony, which lets him wield a crapton of strength.

now for the meat of it, and the key to my theory. Killerbee and Hachibi. Let's compare him with say, Naruto and Kyuubi, Hachibi being one tail of strength less than Kyuubi itself. When Naruto hits a "tailed state" he wields a "Fox Shroud" which varies in power and number of tails depending on how much power he draws forth. So far, he can "safely", that is to say, he can retain his mentality, go up to three tails. any higher and not only does Kyuubi start taking over, but his own body begins shredding itself from the amount of power being channeled.

Alright. That kinda makes sense. it IS demonic chakra, and Naruto IS a human. It's been said ALOT that humans arent meant to wield demonic chakra. So kyuubi's chakra hurting Naruto after a certain level of potency makes sense. HOWEVER.

Killerbee. Against sasuke, Killerbee whipped out full power. Meaning he went All Eight Levels of power available to him. Translation, his "Ox Shroud" hit eight tails, his demon's max level of power...WITH NO DAMAGE TO KILLERBEE WHAT SO EVER. After the fight, we find KB and his demon doing a back and forth like old war buddies. THIS LENDS HEAVY EVIDENCE TO MY THEORY. Naruto loses control at four. that's half the amount of tails Killerbee is able to wield. Hell even Gaara was stronger than naruto. Why? Because even though Shukaku was manipulating the bastard, Gaara and Shukaku were in Synch, sharing the same thought. Kill it until it dies. then kill it some more. Gaara never technically summoned a "shroud" but he did change his physical form to one matching the Shukaku at one point, along with letting the beast himself free. Gaara had more control over his demonic powers than anyone else. Yes, it can be reasoned that it's because he had the weakest one, therefore, like Sakura, it was easier to control because there was less of it. But then the counter to that is thus: SHUKAKU WAS AN INSANE MOTHER FUCKER. Sanity, or lack thereof, can be a major factor in one's power. Take Broly for example. He's one crazy fuck. But he's strong enough to be on par in his full state, with an SSJ3.

Anyway, back to the rant. Everyone in Naruto is like "oh no, dont use Kyuubi's power." Or "I dont want to depend on the Fox." or crap like that. NARUTO WAS PRACTICALLY BORN WITH THE DAMN FOX'S POWER. THE POWER IS TECHNICALLY HIS. HE HAS EVERY RIGHT AND LOGICAL REASON TO USE IT AS HE SEES FIT. Yet he doesnt. Blah blah blah, he's the hero, he doesnt need evil power blah blah, he's got Sage Mode blah blah SHUT UP. He has the strength of a near GOD-class being inside him. But rather than reasoning with, or speaking with, or even just sitting there staring at, the fox, he antagonizes it, irritates it, and decides to only use its power as a OH FUCK I"M GOING TO DIE thing. Naruto went Eight tails recently. simply going six made the fox's skeleton appear around his "shroud." going eight brought back the damn MUSCLE SYSTEM. All that was left was the damn body. Meanwhile Killerbee goes MAX (read: eight) and only gets a shroud. without personal damage due to the power being channeled. And you know what? That makes sense. why? Because two like powers clashing creates problems. KB and his demon are generally in synch. Naruto and Kyuubi arent, so when naruto goes past a certain level, Kyuubi's power hurts naruto because kyuubi and naruto dont like each other in any way, shape or form.

Rockman.exe: The act of Cross-Fusion requires both Operator and Navi to be in synch, at the very least on good terms with one another. If they arent, the Cross-Fusion breaks, or doesnt activate at all, leaving the Operator in a dangerous situation, and dealing massive corruptive damage to the navi. The same principal can be applied here. Naruto and Kyuubi are NOT on good or even tolerable terms with one another. Therefore Naruto gets weakened by using kyuubi's power. KB seems to just wield the power, with no problems whatsoever.

Also, FUCK YOU KISHIMOTO. Seriously. Whenever the manga starts dealing with Uchiha's again, it gets shitty, and naruto acts like the complete opposite of what he usually does. Naruto was ON HIS KNEES BEGGING. ON HIS GODDAMN KNEES! NARUTO DOESNT KNOW THE CONCEPT OF BOWING BEFORE ANYBODY! HIS WAY WAS TO EITHER REASON WITH YOU, OR KICK YOUR ASS AND THEN REASON WITH YOU, OR REASON WITH YOU BY KICKING YOUR ASS, OR REASON WITH YOU BY SAVING YOUR FUCKING LIFE AND CHANGING EVERYTHING THAT WAS SHITTY ABOUT IT AROUND! HE DOESNT BOW ON HIS FUCKING KNEES! yes, naruto will show respect if SOMEONE DESERVES IT. Otherwise, the biggest thing you'll ever get out of him is a bow of the head!

YOU HAVE RUINED THE AWESOME THAT IS NARUTO. FINISH THE MANGA THEN GO DIE.

On Harry Potter:

Dumbledore: You fucking twatbucket. My GODS man what is your PROBLEM?! You put the world's savior with a bunch of bloody animals who HATE him, IGNORE all the bullshit he goes through, and sends him back EVERY YEAR! Mother FUCK! Did you not SEE the fucking adress on the letters?! CUPBOARD UNDER THE MOTHER FUCKING STAIRS! That ALONE should have sent warning bells through your head! I mean SHIT, the boy went through a near death experiance at 11! TELL HIM SHIT DAMMIT! Even if it was the slightest thing, even if it was mere speculation, telling the bloody prick something other than "I will tell you when you're older" could have saved LIVES you asshole! You fucked up so many god damn times, and then went and purposfully got yourself KILLED, so you wouldnt have to explain shit! You fucking COWARD! Honestly, any dumbledore supporters need to be beaned in the fucking head with a massive shovel. The man may be powerful but he's a fucking IDIOT! Didnt want him to grow up with a big head? GIVE HIM TO FUCKING SQUIBS! I mean JESUS! You have an entire GROUP of beings that were born from magical families, but cant use magic themselves! He could learn the best of BOTH WORLDS! He learns how to apreciate Muggle talents and abilities, and also learns how to function in the magical world. WIN MOTHER FUCKING WIN! But no, you wanted him to be your weapon, you effing WANKER! Your fucking buggery lead to such needless CRAP! I mean bloody fucking hell man! Toss the boy to some squibs that will take good care of him, pop a fidelius over the sods and be done with it! Check in every year or so to make sure shit's all hunky dory and you've just saved the mother fucking world without doing jack SHIT!

Not to MENTION, even though you couldnt permanently rid the world of Voldemort, the LEAST you could have done is blast the bloody wanker's body back to hell and give Harry some more time!

Dumbledore, you FAIL!

Harry Potter: You're a puppet. Dammit harry you're a sodding PUPPET! You hate your fame, but it can be used as a weapon against people. You're so afraid of alienating your friends you literally dumb yourself down just so they stick around. I mean come on, you're Harry Bloody POTTER! Do you REALLY think the wizarding world would have allowed for them to snap your wand before second year? HELL NO! I mean you've had maybe, five times in your life, where you actually grew a pair. Honestly Harry...stop being such a bloody puppet...so much potential...wasted...

Hermione Granger: She's such a snobby little bitch isnt she? First off, go get laid. Seriously. No, better yet, go get gangbanged. By all the Weasely brothers. Just for the hell of it. BOOKS ARENT EVERYTHING. YOU ARE NOT GOD. GRADES DONT MEAN SHIT IN A FIGHT. You are PATHETIC. You cling to the information in your books, claiming that if it's written it is. You refuse to have someone do BETTER than you. You cant accept anything that isnt in a book-WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THAT SWEET LITTLE GIRL FROM BOOK ONE?! You fucking LAUGHED at Harry when he said you were amazing, citing the very things that you've now become the staplegirl for, as NOT MATTERING! That was your most brilliant moment. back when you were 11! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?! You actually sounded WORTHY then! You were fucking AWESOME! You knew the difference between book knowledge and instinctual knowledge! And then it VANISHED!

AND WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR FETISH WITH FREEING HOUSE ELVES?! HONESTLY! Do you like, get off on that shit? I mean GOD! You dont even bother gathering information from THEM! You just assume, assume, assume! And what the hell is your deal with accepting everything a teacher says as gospel?! So the fuck WHAT?! If Dumbledore said to you "Go jump off the north tower. I assure you, you will survive." You'd fucking do it. Why? Because dumbledore says so. No wonder so many people pair you up with insane shit like Snape, and Lupin and teachers in shit. You OBVIOUSLY have a Schoolgirl fetish. And guess what happens when something that was written in a book stating "impossible" proves possible? YOU FREAK! You are SO CLOSED MINDED IT"S NOT EVEN FUNNY! I mean JESUS! You treated Luna, a poor virtually friendless girl, like a LEPER, just because she believed in things that couldnt be proven in books. Fucking Hypocrate...really.

Molly Weasley: God woman what the fuck is wrong with you? Get it through your head, THEY"RE IN A FUCKING WAR! You may not like the things happening but it's THEIR generation that will be the new soldiers, they NEED TO KNOW! and what RIGHT have you to talk to Sirius like that in HIS OWN GOD DAMN HOME?! Someone should have killed you. No, that would have been too easy. Someone should have tortured you, broken all your bones into a fine dust, re-grew them, all while forcing you to watch images of Ginny being gangraped, and the boys getting ripped to shreds over and over again. BY YOUR COMMAND. Really woman, what is your terminal malfunction? Yes, we know, you dont want to lose your family. But jesus woman, you're doing more harm than good trying to keep them away from all forms of this. Let them get at least the bare minimum information. Keep them informed, keep them busy, keep them safe by letting them KNOW.

There's more i wanna say about her and hermione but it's kinda elsewhere now.

New annoyances!!

Tales of the Abyss:

FUCK YOU ANISE! That's right i said it. MOTHER FUCK YOU. I hate you i hate you i hate you. my GOD you're annoying! I mean WHAT THE FUCK! I USED to like her. i really did. I mean, she's got some badass spells, but FUCK! You greedy little lying whorish money grubbing twat basket fourteen year old SLUT! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY do you NOT FUCKING GET IT! TELL THEM! You fucking RETARD! Mohs was a fucking ASS, and you had a DUDE WHO COULD WIPE OUT AN ENTIRE FUCKING CONTENENT ON YOUR FUCKING TEAM! You had Jade MOTHER FUCKING I"M A BADASS CURTIS with you! INDIGNATION! BOOM PROBLEM SOLVED! Mother of FUCK! So WHAT if your parents are in debt! THE GUY IS TRYING TO KILL PEOPLE! KILL HIM INSTEAD! That way GASP! not only will you save lives BUT YOUR PARENTS WILL NO LONGER BE UNDER HIS THUMB! BRRRRLAFGOEGNOEG QEOGOWGNOWNGVOGAAAAAAAAAHHH!!

Yes. she pisses me off that much.

AND ANOTHER THING! WHY THE FUCK DIDNT YOU TELL ARIETTA?! She was on her fucking death bed. and you didnt tell her the guy you inadvertantly killed WASNT THE MAN SHE LOVED!

and no, i dont blame her for Ion's death. That's right, i DONT blame her. Why? Because Ion was going to die anyway. After reviewing the game three times, seeing that sequence THREE TIMES, and watching him die three times, i have concluded that Ion was going to end up dying for some noble reason anyway. Original Ion was pure badass. I mean come on, he was so awesome that Arietta BIT HIM. Yes, that's right, before she became a fon master guardian, she bit Ion. It was awesome. But yes, Replica Ion intended to die. He was probably gonna kick the bucket anyway, so why the fuck not go out in a blaze of glory no? So no, i dont blame her for Ion's death...BUT I BLAME HER FOR ARIETTA'S!

Jade Curtis: Jade. Jade Jade Jade. You fucking asshole. You knew. you FUCKING KNEW. And you didnt say anything. "Oh, i prefer not giving my opinion until i'm ceartain of what i think." FUCK YOU. TELL THE BASTARDS ANYWAY! At least THEN they have an idea of what might be happening. You knew he was a replica. you knew he had some wierd shit going on. but no. you say NOTHING and then DARE. you fucking DARE blame him for Akzeriuth?! MOTHER FUCK YOU JADE! You pathetic worthless piece of shit! Oh dont get me wrong. He's badass with his Indignation and Pac-Man belt. But he's still a fucking piece of shit.

Natalia Kimlasca-Landalvear (FUCK YOUR NAME): What is your terminal malfunction? I mean really? ASCH ASCH ASCH. THAT"S ALL YOU FUCKING SAY! I swear you're like a reverse pokemon. WHO THE FUCK CARES?! He's managed DAMN well on his own, BY HIS OWN CHOICE MIND YOU, he doesnt need you fucking shit up. and how DARE you call him the "real" Luke?! You are fucking LUCKY i'm not part of that game or i'd fucking SMACK your bitch ass SO FUCKING HARD...You are fail, and that is all i have to say about you, you are not worthy of my words.

"Luke Fon Fabre" (quotation marks used to indicate the Replica Luke not that emo pansy Asch.): Stop being a pussy. Seriously. They push you, you push back. you're mother fucking Luke Fon Fabre for Yulia's sake. you can summon a Hyperresonance ALONE, at ANY TIME. They shouldnt be fucking with you. By the way, it wasnt your fault. You were a tool. Van was the hand using the tool. Anyone who blames you for Akzeriuth needs to be shot repeatedly. But seriously. Stop being a pussy. You've got power, you've got skill. You can summon forth an atom smasher in the blink of an eye when you damn well feel like it/Loreli decides to start talking. They should respect you. You were a fucktard at the beginning, but considering you'd not left your house in seven years, you're entitled to it. That is my only complaint. Stop being a pussy.

Tear Grants: You knew as well. Therefore you need to be smacked in the face with an iron pole, violated rectally with said iron pole, then violated orally with said iron pole. Oh, and go fuck Luke. it's obviously you want to ride the bastard. Just make sure to shove one of those random knives of yours up Natalia's cunt before you do. She might think he's Asch and try to rape him or something. Oh and while your at it, do the same with Anise, only make it her asshole. Just for shits and giggles.

And why the HELL are you such a shitty melee fighter in battle when you're like Speedy Gonzales in cutscenes? Really, you should have been a fucking ninja. We need another Sheena Fujibayashi.

Guy: no complaints. you're badass through and through. though one thing, if you touch Noelle i will chop off your dick and feed it to you personally. got it? She, and Arietta are MINE! Though i wont mind sharing Arietta with Master LL...not gonna fuck with that guy, he's too fucking good at those RPGs...

Asch: GO DIE. Oh wait you did.

Nebilim: HOW THE FUCK DO THOSE THINGS STAY ON YOUR CHEST?!

That is all.

Brawl FC: 0559-6736-5069 BRING IT BITCHES!!

this is a quote from an author on this site: muggledad. he wrote this at the end of his first chapter of Partners, and it struck a chord in me: Looking at my own life, it seems like it’s all about relationships. My relationship with my wife, my kids, my boss, my co-workers, and so on. Within the context of these relationships, my life happens. These are words that i've been trying to come up with every time i get into an arguement about my life with my girlfriend of four years. muggledad has managed to put into words, what i've been feeling since the day i finally understood myself.

From Chibi Soma's Rockman EXE 5 (Team Protoman) walkthrough:

Chippy the Wondergoatee isn't too happy anymore. But he does have
something called the Hikari Report. And then he laughs as insanely
as anyone wearing purple CAN.

Taken from Feinne's "Because the ESRB doesnt give a crispy shit, Let's Play Soul Nomad and the World Eaters" Thread:

Feinne: I actually just came up with a good analogy for the Demon Path, by the way.

So, in the popular game Knights of the Old Republic, the Dark Side path has you poison a giant fish that produces a healing liquid in the name of expediency, hosing an entire planet.

What would the Demon Path protagonist do, faced with such a situation?

Well, first, they'd take the giant fish hostage. They'd demand all the planet's wealth for its safe return. Upon getting the money, they'd kill the fish and skip town, then blow the city up from orbit and find the star map after everyone was dead, because that underwater part was long and boring and someone's gotta pay for that.

Then they'd punch a baby, one they keep around just to punch.

Me and my friend:

IcyFresh232 (8:59:32 PM): you know what I noticed?

IcyFresh232 (8:59:49 PM): all the team members have Personae that look similar to mecha in a very xenosaga/gears fashion

IcyFresh232 (9:00:08 PM): and you could compare the evolution of some of them (ESPECIALLY Ken's) to the upgrade from Gear to Omnigear.

Xenmaru00 (9:00:22 PM): I have pink rice

IcyFresh232 (9:00:31 PM): ...that was like, the perfect response

(On naming Ayla from Chrono Trigger:)

Xenmaru00 (11:35:04 PM): so what would you name a blonde cave woman with just enough clothes NOT to be naked?

gaia61789 (11:35:59 PM): Carmen Electra

(Greeting out of nowhere)

Xenmaru00 (7:04:21 PM): shibidowa pop shimshimminey shimshimminey sharoo EYYYAO!

gaia61789 (7:04:26 PM): Uh...hi?

gaia61789 (7:04:27 PM): xD

Xenmaru00 (7:04:52 PM): closest textual interpretation i could get to Ace Ventura's greeting to that fat black dude in When Nature Calls

Xenmaru00 (7:04:58 PM): i forgot the leg slapping though

a really awesome typo:

zander 354 (11:08:08 PM): FFIX and beat in 12hrs

Xenmaru00 (11:08:12 PM): hahaha

Xenmaru00 (11:08:27 PM): with savestates that'd be a cynch but i wanna get as much as i can

Xenmaru00 (11:08:38 PM): fuckin Billy's got river chocobo...on the first fucking dick

Xenmaru00 (11:08:51 PM): ...

Xenmaru00 (11:08:57 PM): god...dammit

Zander354: lol ya i hate make up
Xenmaru00 7:09 pm
it's like, little touches can help
maybe a SLIGHT amount of blush, some girls look really hot with a bit of eye shadow, but that's basically it
they dont need to turn their face into a gay pride parade
and i'm now laughing my ass off at what i just said

A line from a favorite fic of mine, a Naruto fic by the name of People Lie by Nugar:

I woke up to the sound of a rock bouncing off my window. Repressing a groan, I rose and grabbed my clothes, intending to slip out the front while the annoying person stared at my window.

No such luck.

“Hey, Sasuke! Wake up!”

Oh, it was Naruto. Well, it certainly could have been worse. Last time this happened, it was some brown haired academy girl in glasses, with a scroll of poetry she’d written about me.

Creepy.

It wasn’t even that bad of poetry. Kunoichi training or not, it took some talent to have a passage with the line ‘I want to bathe you with my tongue’ in iambic pentameter. Was even kind of sensual.

But creepy. Yes, definitely creepy.

Personally, i'd be creeped out for like, an hour, and then i'd go hunting for that girl. Seriously, someone with THAT type of talent and imagination must be FUN in the sack.

Taken from Shinji and Warhammer40k by Charles Bhepin:

TITANICUS (fifteen stars)

-one scary mother-

PRINCIPIO ETERNUS

ATK 45000
DEF 45000

Invoke using Magic Card; Shinji Ikari and sacrificing 15 Power points.

If attacked in Defense position, take -everything- on the field except it into the
Graveyard as it demolishes ALL armies and cities around itself in just five minutes.
Return it to the deck after next turn.

If attacked while in Attack Position, laugh at your enemy for his stupidity and reduce
his lifepoints by half. Return it into the deck after destroying the attacking card.

It may attack only once before being returned to the deck, but will utterly destroy
all enemy forces in the field and all magic cards (yours and the enemy). Your cards
in attack position must also be returned to the deck as collateral damage.

I want that card.

Nabbed this from DarthBill

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile

Well shit...that IS friggin cool.