Hi. I'm Anna Ride, but you can call me Anna, APE, Gucci, Great One, Master, or APP. Chrisylikestoeatmangoes kept bugging me about getting a account, so ta-da, here I am! I don't really know how to make a profile, so don't criticize this, please.

If you click my homepage, it will take you to my website, where I have posted a story!

ATTENTION, ALL WHO READ MY STORIES:

Fluffy Bunnies Are So Cute, Unicorns Bubbles AWESOMENESS and I created a new account to post our TWO JOINT STORIES on. Our pen name is SACA BAF. Look us up, please!

Also, Fax Is Forever and I are on a new account, too. Wolfson And GG. We're posting TWO STORIES (FOR NOW) as well. Destiny and Tangled. Look it up, please!

Okay so, a little about me.

Status: Single!!! :D

Location: I'VE MOVED OUT OF MY MIND WITH HANK. :) We're so happy.

Addictions: Choco chip cookies, Maximum Ride, Moose Tracks and waterfalls.

Mood: HAPPY WITH HANK!

Religion: I don't have one, but I like the Quakers. No wars.

Siblings: One sister.

Gender: GIRL. DUH.

Favorite color: Silver, then red, then black. (No, I'm not Emo.)

Sane-o-meter: I'm insane. No doctors have ruled it yet, but I am.

Emo-Elmo-Emu's thoughts on me: Bipolar Insane Chick.

Best Friend's thoughts on me: Quiet, book worm, good writer, someone to copy notes off of and funny.

My thoughts on me: Don't gots none.

Hates: Dr. Wonderful, RHW, Mr. Chu, Dr. God, all evildoers in general, Dylan, Justin Bieber, Never Say Never and Bieber Fever.

Likes: Chocolate ANYTHING, I'M FANG (Iggy, Max, Fang, Angel, Nudge and Gazzy), FANGirls, Fax, books, California and my friends and family.

Warning: I'm bipolar, insane and have anger issues.

I'm the girl that walks into things, yells at them, and then says sorry and that I was having a off day.

QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU:

Name without vowels- Grgnn

You single?- NO. LIKE I SAID, I’M DATING HANK. (Our three year anniversary is coming up. _ )

Favorite number?- 1234567810. :D

Color you wear most?- Black.

Least favorite colour?- MUSTARD.

Favorite candy?- …Is this a trick question?

What do you smoke?- PIXIE STIX!!!!

Are you happy with your life right now?- Eh. I’m in it. So yes. ;) Haha, kidding, but still, yes.

Anyone ever said you resemble a celebrity?- Oddly enough, yeah. Carly Rae Jepson. O.o

What is/was your favorite class in school?- LUNCH.

How do you make money?- I don’t have a job

Are you outgoing?- Of course I am!!!!!!! I, am the GG. *Sticks nose in the air.*

One word to describe you?- Indescribable. ;)

Favorite pair of shoes- MY BLACK AND WHITE CONVERSE ALL STAR THAT I WROTE ‘ARCH VENOM’ ON AND MY FRIEND STARFISH SIGNED.

Do you own big sunglasses?- No…*Sad face.*

Where do you wish you were right now?- Eating pasta in Verona with Giacomo and Benno.

What should you be doing right now?- Sleeeeeppppinnng. @_@

1) Have you ever been asked out?
Yeah. But I think the first few times it was a joke, but then I don't know if this counts, but a guy was GOING to ask me out, but I turned him down before, and oh yeah, my almost boyfriend twice...so yes. Yes I have.

2) Where did you get your default picture?
Erm. It was taken at a party. He's my dorky kind-of-brother.

3) What's your middle name?
I SHALL NEVER TELL YOU. IT'S TOO EMBARRASSING.

4) Your current relationship status?
SINGLEEE!

5) Does your crush like you back?
Erm. No crush ATM.

6) What is your current mood?
Blergh.

7) What color of underwear are you wearing?
PERSONAL QUESTION.

8) What color shirt are you wearing?

Purple. (Is it sad I had to check?)

9) Missing something?

Yessss. My sanity.

10) If you could go back in time and change something, what would you change?
Erm. When I was in first grade and insulted this guy because I stood up for him and my friends said I liked him and then I had to apologize during lunch because it, apparently, really hurt his feelings...It was soooo awful.

11) If you must be an animal for one day, what would you be?
MAMMOTH. DUH.

12) Ever had a near death experience?
Yes!

13) Something you do a lot?
Overreact.

14) The song stuck in your head?
Headache.

15) Who did you copy and paste this from?
CakeIsAGoodFriend.

16) Name someone with the same birthday as YOU?

Talia.

17) When was the last time you cried?

Erm...month ago?

18) Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
Oh, God, yes. I forgot the entire performance afterwards. O.o

19) If you could have one super power what would it be?
The ability to go back in time and fix all my embarrassing moments. (There are many.)

20) What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

Hair. The hair tells the whole story, people.

21) What do you usually order from Starbucks?

Chunk chocolate chip cookie and hot chocolate. (Coffee is gross. *Makes face.*)

22) What's your biggest secret?
I went to a cheer camp. D: OH, THANK GOD THAT IS OFF MY CHEST. WOO.

23) Favorite color?
I already put it up there but alright. Red, then silver, then black.

24) Do you still watch kiddie shows?
DUH. Wait. You mean Disney movies, right? O.o

25) What are you?
Erm. A Time Lord. DUH.

26) Do you speak any other language?
Pig Latin and Sarcasm! :D

27) What's your favorite smell?

Hmmmm...my mom's perfume.

28) Describe your life in one word what would it be?

Insane.

29) Have you ever kissed in the rain?
Nope. Virgin lips.

30) What are you thinking about right now?
Cake's Cinderella story and how AWFUL THAT CLIFFY WAS. T_T

31) What should you be doing?
Eating my food.

32) Who was the last person that made you upset/angry?
Erm. My kind-of boyfriend kind-of-not, my ex-best-friend who is my friend again, my best friend, and my ex-best-friend who is my friend again's girlfriend, who is also my friend. All in the same time span. Which is why I listed all of them.

33) Do you like working in the yard?
We have someone who works on our yard for us...WHAT? The tractor broke! Don't judge!

34) If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
Hmmm...Venom. Yep. Venom, definitely.

35) Do you act differently around the person you like?
I'm actually MORE violent around them. And sarcastic. And rude.

36) What is your natural hair color?
Well, my hair WAS red, and then it was red-brown, then brown-red-blonde, but now the red is fading away and since it's winter the sunstreaks are fading...

37) Who was the last person to make you cry?
Erm. Myself. Techinically.

HONEST SECTION:

Honestly, what are you doing right now?- I AM SINGING WITH A WALRUS. Duh. Updating my profile.

Honestly, have you done something bad today?- Probably. :D

Honestly, who is the last person you spoke to on the phone?- Grandmother.

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?- *Cough.* Uhm, no…what would give you that idea…*Cough, cough. Shifty look.*

Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time?- K.B and A.S.

Honestly, do you bite your nails?- *Hides hands behind back.* NO.

Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment?- Yeah. :3 *Sheepish.*

Honestly, do you have a friend you don't actually like?- TOTALLY.

I think that sums me up pretty well... @_@

Link to Loup's outfit in Rolling Home: http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTvNs4FHPXFRHPGw_n50y3RzOk1GIIp4rDAVLrOajr_tHc1VUYR4w

Link to Max's wedding dress in The Ultimate Fax Songfic Collection: http://www.google.com/imgres?hl=en&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-Address&rlz=1I7ADFA_enUS455&biw=1366&bih=536&tbm=isch&tbnid=YozKiTnXi8YbFM:&imgrefurl=http://www.nexteve.com/cms/p2108/nexteve-prom-dress-design-ne12036-by-jennifer-lu/&docid=cIuxp2pNfI_W7M&imgurl=http://www.nexteve.com/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/NE12036-Designer-Prom-Dress.jpg&w=378&h=600&ei=IrJrT_r1BPC20AG47JXLBg&zoom=1

Link to Fisherman At The Wheel: http://www.commercial-fishing.org/images/article-images/gloucester-man-at-wheel-small.jpg

Link to Fisherman's Wife: http://www.be.sgiandubhband.com/nh/cape/IMG_2701-FishermansWivesMem.jpg

If you wanted to know more about Gloucester, here's some info:

http://www.tworvgypsies.us/!USA-2011-trip-4/photos-20a-gloucester-mass.html

Want to see a picture of Taiga?

LOOK NO FURTHER!

http://img101.animecharactersdatabase.com:81/images/Toradora/Taiga_Aisaka.png

This is the picture of Lupo from Little Brown Book!

http://www.mycandylove.com/placard.kiss

Here's the link to this REALLY COOL BLOG THAT I DON'T WRITE!

A Fictional Blog From Heart of Diamond
Copy and Paste this onto your profile and follow 'Indi the Teenage Freak' on her blog at http://indithefreak.blogspot.com/

For all you single gals in a hurry to get married, here's a piece of Biblical advice: Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz. While waiting on YOUR Boaz, don't settle for ANY of his relatives: Brokeaz, Poaz, Lyinaz, Cheatinaz, Dumbaz, Cheapaz, Lockedupaz, Goodfornothinaz, Lazyaz, Marriedaz, and especially his third cousin Beatinyoaz. Please, wait on your Boaz; make sure he respects Yoaz! (That was a funny thing I found on YouTube!)

Love Quotes My Friend And I Wrote:

I cried today...not because I miss you, or I need you...or even because I want you...but because I know that I can live without you...And that is the most painful heartache of all, because I don't want to.

Once you told me I was beautiful, that you loved me, that you'd never hurt me, that you'd listen and help me out when I was angry, spewing things I didn't mean. So why won't you answer my emails, or talk to me now? Why are you walking away? And, even more...Why do I still care? (Yeah, idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I loved you, but I guess it didn't mean anything to you and your stupid friends.

I missed you...

But now you're laughing at me and taken by HER.

I hugged you when you were sad,

But now she's hanging off your arm and whining to you.

I kissed you, but you just 'loved me' and then, the minute I turn, even for a second, you left me alone.

So when you come back, which I know you will...

I'll shoot you a look that I swear could kill.

Because nobody breaks my heart,

Without making a war start. (So True!)

I hate your stupid clothes,
I hate the way you smile.
I hate your cheesy compliments,
I hate your pick-up style.

I hate the way you talk,
I hate the way you breathe.
I hate the way you walk,
I hate it when you leave.

I hate the way...you're so sweet.
I hate the way you laugh.
I hate the way you wink at me.
I hate that when you eat my favorite foods, you offer me half.

I hate that you're untouchable,
I hate that you're not mine.
I hate that you're my best friend,
And I hate that you act like that's fine.

Last of all, I hate the way you love me,
I hate how you're so sure that I'm the girl you want,
I hate that you can't see...
That I don't hate you, in fact I love you more, with each tease and laugh and taunt. (UGH. SAPPY.)

We used to talk at three am, we used to laugh all night. We used to tell each other everything, and almost never fight.

Now...we never talk at all, we never laugh at night. We never say anything, and we almost always fight.

What a twisted world we live in, where no one stays the same. I bet you forget how we met, and you even forgot my name...

You jerk. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

On a girl's birthday, you give her a charm bracelet and say that she's perfect.

On Fourth of July, you surprise her with a picnic, arm around her shoulder.

On Halloween, you hold her hand and tell her she's the prettiest ghoul you've ever seen.

On Thanksgiving, you help her with the dinner because you know she'll burn it black, and then tell her that she didn't need the help.

On Christmas, you give her a necklace and whisper in her ear, 'I'm so glad that I'm spending Christmas with you this year.'

On New Years Eve, when she's waiting for the ball to drop, you smile at her and say, 'I'm just glad that I have you this year.'

And on Valentines, bring her to her favorite place and give her the prettiest ring you could find, and when she gasps, smile at her and whisper in her ear, 'Will you be my Valentine?'

(...AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! CHEESY, CLICHE, AND A BUNCH OF ICKY STUFF, BUT...AWWW!)

SAD QUOTES I LIKE:

I know how it feels to sit on the edge of your bed, head in your hands wishing it would all just end... -Poem I read on internet

For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been.'- John Greenleaf Whittier

I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of crying. I know I've been smiling, but inside I'm dying. -Again Internet

Remember, you are braver than you believe,

You are stronger than you seem,

You are smarter than you think,

And you are prettier than you feel.

Just because her eyes don't tear doesn't mean her heart doesn't cry, and just because she comes off strong, doesn't mean there's nothing wrong.

There's gonna be some things in life that are going to make it hard for you to smile, but through all you see, all the rain and all the pain, you have to keep your sense of humor and keep on smiling.

Sometimes the pain's too strong to bare...and life gets so hard you just don't care. You feel so alone you just sit and cry...every second you wish you could die. Then you start thinking who would care...if one day they woke up-and you weren't there.

You Know You're Obsessed With Maximum Ride When...

1. You're friends think you're crazy for being obsessed with six flying kids and their talking dog.
2. You see someone in a white lab coat then run off screaming.
3. You've called one of your siblings/friends/family members Max, Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, or Angel.
4. You refuse to talk to anyone who's named Ari.
5. You claim you have wings.
6. You drool when you hear the word 'Fang'.
7. You daydream about meeting the flock.
8. You've reread Maximum Ride about 3 times or more.
9. You look for the flock's theme songs and get excited when you find one that fits perfect.
10. You study about birds.
11. You hate science class/refuse to dissect any type of animal.
12. You have a crush on Iggy or Fang or both.
13. You read Fang's blog daily. Even though you know it's JP talking.
14. You're waiting for your 'Nick Ride'.
15. You are counting down the days for the next book. (Which came out, ironically, in 2012.)
16. You will go to the first opening for the movie, even if it's at midnight.
17. You look in the mirror cautiously to make sure your reflection is not an Eraser.
18. You hate dog crates.
19. You think scientists are evil.
20. You argue with people if Max is a girl's name or a guy's.
21. When your spending the night at a friend's, you say you'll take first watch.
22. You've found a new respect for blind people.
23. You think MR is the best series ever and you want to meet James Patterson, author.
24. You say 'U and A' a lot.
25. You think you have a Voice like Max.
26. You've gotten your Online Friends hooked on it.
27. You use sarcastic remarks from MR.
28. You know what 'Fax' is.
29. You were one of the characters from MR for Halloween.
30. You claim to have brain attacks.
31. You protect your thoughts. Angel might be reading them.
32. You give a crazy look to people who don't know what MR is.
33. You daydream of flying.
34. You love chocolate chip cookies.
35. You seriously felt like you were in the book.
36. If you want to become a writer because of MR
37. If they make a poster, shirt, key-chain, button, anything MR you will buy it.
38. If you love Fan-fiction.
39. In school, it's hard to concentrate because you're thinking of Maximum Ride.
40. You want a talking dog.

Things Maximum Ride has Taught Us:

1. Being different is okay.

2. Even the little things can help save the world.

3. Red-heads are evil! (EXCEPT MY BABY CUZ AND OTHER REDHEADED FAMILY MEMBERS. Grant, yes, you do count.)

4. Love always makes itself known. Even if it takes you five books and fourteen years of your life to see it, it's there.

5. 6-year-olds do have the ability to take over the world.

6. Duct tape is a handy tool if you have a mimicking 8-year-old.

7. The loss of a vet would be a tragedy.

8. Dressing in dark clothes and never talking does not make you emo; it makes you Fang-like.

9. French is the universal language.

10. Fang-sized is an acceptable form of measurement.

11. Count your blessings.

12. Teen magazines don't help you in life or death situations.

13. Nachos and Moutain Dew are proper mind controlling devices.

14. Fang has the power to sum up your life story in nine words.

15. Even a kick-butt, leader of a merry band of mutants like Max can make mistakes.

16. Never get hooked on Valium.

17. The best breed of dogs are talking Scotties!!

18. If one cannot be corrupted by power or money, there's always Snicker's bars.

19. It is okay to sell your soul for a chocolate-chip cookie.

20. Kids are better than adults.

21. You'll know the Apocalypse is coming when Max is wearing a dress.

22. The best cooks are blind pyros.

23. Submarines are tiny tin cans of doom.

24. Desert rat should always be cooked to well-done.

25. School really is an evil place.

26. Teachers really are out to get you.

27. Remember to flap.

28. Only one bird kid could pull off preppy Top-Siders.

29. GIRLS KICK BOYS' BUTTS!!

30. The order of power: Chuck Norris, Max, Fang, Angel, Iggy, Gazzy, Nudge, Total, humans, animals. Brigid, Sam, Dylan and Lissa don’t make the list.

You know you're addicted to MR when:

1. You know what MR means first of all.

2. When someone says “the School,” you think of an experimentation building in Death Valley. Not an educational facility.

3. Max is a girl’s name.

4. You have a newfound respect for blind people.

5. You half-expect dogs to talk and sprout wings.

6. Looking out to the sky, you want to so badly spot six flying bird kids.

7. You’d kill to be a bird kid.

8. You’re neither Team Edward nor Jacob. You’re Team Fang.

9. You hate the name Brigid, Lissa, and Dylan.

10. You wish to own an E-shaped house in the Colorado mountains one day.

11. You’re still single because you want someone like Fang to come and sweep you off your feet. Literally.

12. You start to like Avan Jogia JUST because he’s going to play Fang in the movie.

13. Erasers are wolves, not school supplies.

14. You wish your mom was as cool as Dr. M.

15. You start to be skeptical of office buildings.

16. You develop claustrophobia.

17. Anything that is called “The Institute” makes you think it’s sketchy.

18. You only WISH you’re friends were pyros.

19. You automatically think of Fang when you see a kid dressed in all black.

20. You make a list of ways to kill Lissa and Dylan slowly and painfully.

21. WHY CAN'T FANG JUST BE REAL???? *coughs awkwardly*

You know you lived in 2010 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have a screen name or myspace.
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5.
11.) & now you're laughing at your stupidity.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for it. And you know you did. I did.

Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

Who calls you back when you hang up on him,

Who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat,

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead,

Who keeps your picture in his wallet,

Who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,

Who holds your hand in front of all his friends,

Who thinks your beautiful without makeup,

One who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,

The one who turns to his friends and says THAT'S HER!

(The guy I like does all these things, except the kissing, obviously. HE'S SO AWESOME.)

Sweetness

This is really sweet...

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl wants to see you everyday, she just wants to be cared for.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Everyday,

I fight the urge to text

Or call you,

Telling myself that if you wanted to talk,

You would.

(This is something I found online, and I thought it was kind of sweet, so...)

-Oops, I appear to have fallen on your lips.
- My heart is not a playground
- I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
- Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.
- To a guy love is only a chapter but to a girl its her whole book.
- I hate it when people say: "When life give you lemons, make lemonade." Well, you know what, life never gave you water and sugar, so you can only make lemon juice.
- "It's always in the last place you look" Well duh, who keeps looking after they found it?

Ask me out and I'll laugh.

Ask me if I like you as more than a friend and I'll ask, "Are you serious?"

Ask me if I'm dating someone and I'll say, "Yes, my computer. We have a three-year-long relationship. Our anniversary is on Friday."

Ask me if I'm busy this weekend and I'll think it over and say, "Well, I have a date with Ben on Friday. Then Saturday I have a date with Jerry. And on Sunday I have a date with Exercise. Mom set us up after she found out about Ben and Jerry. So, dangit, I guess I'm booked."

Ask me if I want to go to the school dance with you and I'll say, "Sorry, but I already have a date with my T.V."

Why? That's just how I roll. ;)

If you believe that Kristen Stewart and Robert Patterson would make a terrible Max & Fang, copy and paste this on your profile. (If you don't agree with this, you're INSANE.)

If you like to read fanfiction more than you like to read books, copy and paste this on your profile.

If your addicted to your iPod, copy and paste this on your profile.

If your parents loves to embarrass you, copy and paste this on your profile.

If your profile is waaaaaaayyyy too long, but you keep making it longer, copy this and put it on your profile.

If you have ever spent too much money at Barnes and Noble, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't do drugs and never will, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get too excited for books, movies, etc. to come out, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you feel the need to read through someone's profile even when you don't know them, copy and paste this into your profile

30 percent of kids go to college. The other 70 either drop-out or don't have the proper skills to. If you are in the 30 percent that you know you're going to go to college, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie or read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word, and do so at random moments, copy and past this to your profile.

If you believe some teachers are seriously prejudiced, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever invented your own "copy and paste" thingy, copy and paste this into your profile. (Last two ones.)

If keyboards hate you, copy and paste this.

If you have ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this into your profile. Cats, dogs and goldfish count.

If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this on your profile! (I'm insane. This is a hands-down truth for me.)

If you have ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. (I talk to myself daily. Usually talking about a book I'm reading/writing because my friends don't listen.)

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like chocolate, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you support werewolf rights, copy & paste this into your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If 2 gooses are geese, then why aren't moose meese, or when 2 foots are feet, why aren't 2 footballs feetballs? Milk tastes funny if you leave it out for too long. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If your random and proud of it, put this on your profile!

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you were going to say it, put this on your profile. (I hate it when that happens!)

If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes or more, place this on your profile.

If you have ever tried to lick your elbow even though you knew it was physically impossible, paste this on your profile.

If you and/or your best friend are insane, put this on your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you could easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever eaten something none of your friends would try, copy/paste this in your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever insulted someone so stupid that they didn't get the insult, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever ran into a door, copy this into your profile

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever walked into a wall before copy this.(DUH. I'm a klutz!)

If you think that life without computers is useless, copy this to your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever spent too much time of the computer, copy and paste this to your profile.

If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. (My friends sometimes say I read and write TOO much.)

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile. (Do the cars in front of you, about to kill you, count?)

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. (How else would I be reading this and not have any fangs or missing limbs or rotting teeth?)

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or visa versa, copy this onto your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile. (Duh. Flying would be SO awesome...)

If you have laughed so hard that you couldn't breath and ended up laughing silently while half crying due to lack of air, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing while reading a book and people look at you funny, copy and paste this into your profile. (Every time I react to a book character, actually...)

If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV...Copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. (If you've ever stayed up ALL NIGHT reading, raise your hand.)

1F Y0U C4N UND3R574ND 7H15 M355463 C0PY 17 4ND P4573 17 1N70 Y0UR PR0F1L3.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. (Since I met my best friend that's a guy.)

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile. (Is it EVER going to come out? They said it would LAST YEAR!)

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you run into inanimate objects...and then blame them for it copy and paste this in your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile. (That so is impossible. I felt totally shocked when I read this.)

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever thought about something while you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are totally confused right now copy this onto your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do drugs and alchohol. If you like bagels, copy this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If FanFiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. (Did you READ the ones above this?)

If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this onto your profile. (Wait, some people HAVEN'T?)

If you're searching for 'the Max to your Fang' (or vice versa) copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you wish school didn't exist, copy and paste it onto your profile.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...Don't you hate when people act like this? I love this guy's reaction, though! ;)

If you ever been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep), Alleyanna Cullen,hugz.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6 (hoo yeah), GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc.(:D), Ice wolf13, AlyxtheDarkWanderer, BellaSwan321, Bookworm614, MelRose520, Anna Ride

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who would rather someone ask them to marry them by taking out a Green Lantern Ring and saying, "I chose you, Max," who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, XXForrestStarXX, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, Skittle.Rocke, Silent_Broken_Heart, St. Fang of Boredom, flyaway111, MyNameIsCAL, SareRide9, MelRose520, Anna Ride

93 percent of teenagers would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you are part of the 7 percent that would say "What was your first clue?", copy this onto your profile then add your name to the list:Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A, Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A.,Evil Genus of the C.O.C.A., Invador Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, BellaBookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, Spottedlilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.for.all.the.emo.boyz, I'll have some stupid Cliche, rainxface, maximumride24,FangsGirl24601, A Silenced Angel, UNDERLANDERfromtheOVERLAND, sunshine2006578, SareRide9, XXForrestStarXX, MelRose520, Anna Ride

To every girl out there who thinks they're not pretty (I was one of them): I'm not going to spew some crap about inner beauty, becuz, even though it's true, we all know that it's not what 99.9 of today's teenage girl population wants to hear. I can guarantee that everyone has someone who thinks they're beautiful, and everyone has someone out there for them. I know it's the truth. I mean, there are like, nine billion people on Earth. There's always someone out there! Sometimes it comes out of nowhere, and sometimes it was there all along. Everyone has something about them that would make someone like them, I assure you. And, hey, you don't have to believe me! But, let me tell you, life's a whole lot brighter when you do. Copy and Paste this onto your profile if you agree.

(Put this on your page if u like music)
(o) music

Put this in your profile
if you love to laugh!

AND FINALLY... if you actually took the time to read all these, copy and paste this into your profile!

People are like slinkies; basically useless, but ever so amusing to watch fall down the stairs.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous.

I had amnesia once--or twice. You know what? I don't really even remember.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is my ceiling?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!

Don’t mess with me. I've got a stick.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

One day, your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!

I'm not afraid of death! What's it going to do? Kill me?

Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real. You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie!

Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. (No Mom. I really don't want to keep Skippy.)

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch them!

I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

I used up all my sick days...so I called in dead.

Stressed is Desserts backwards :)

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

You're laughing now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

There's a light at the end of every tunnel...lets just hope it's not a train.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

I am in shape...round is a shape.

I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, and I laugh even harder.

Boys are like trees – they take fifty years to grow up.

Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is.

Forecast for tonight: darkness.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die.

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the heck are you scared?!

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drank my water!

Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking.

Woman have to work twice as hard as men to get the same amount of credit. Luckily, this isn't hard. (A quote I saw in my ELA classroom.)

I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy!

When life gives you lemons throw them back and demand vodka.

Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened last week.

"God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns

“When there's a will, I want to be in it.” – Unknown

Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words.

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.

Borrow money from pessimists- they don’t expect to get it back!

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that can’t.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything that you say will be misquoted and distorted, and then used against you.

A friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend laughs, trips you again, and laughs harder.

A man’s room is where he can be alone with his manly things. His razor for instance.

Questions to Ponder...

Why can pizza get to your house faster then an ambulance?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

Where's the good in goodbye?

Why are they called apartments when they all stick together?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Am I the only one who finds it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?

When the guy first discovered milk...what do you think he was doing?

Stupid Lables:

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(But I don't have any other time to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(I thought we were AGAINST criminal activity...)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And how do I do that?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(That's just a suggestion! You CAN eat it frozen! Whatever floats your boat.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Oops...)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(No! Gasp! You heat it and it actually becomes heated? The wonders of modern society...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(Darn. How will I be able to take ten minutes to get ready for school NOW?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(You hear that? Keep those toddlers with colds away from the heavy machinery...)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(No! I wanted to stay AWAKE by taking a SLEEPING PILL.)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(Duh. I'm not a murderer.)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to what?)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Curiouser and curiouser...)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(But not ice cream? I WAS PROMISED ICE CREAM.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Who's the genius behind this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Wait. I've been doing it wrong this whole time? Dang it.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(What? Everyone lied to me!)

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you udnresotod taht werid ppragarh, tahn put it on yuor pofrlie! I DID!

Walmart- things to do

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Run up to an employee while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "I need some toliet paper!!"

6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

8. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.

9. While walking around the store, sing an annoying song in a loud voice.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this stuff, anyway?"

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.

17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

26. Toilet paper as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

33. Take bets on the battle described above.

34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red Lipstick vs Facial Hair...)

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission:Impossible."

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

41. Two words: "Marco Polo."

42. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.

43. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

44. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.

45. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Ex: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.

46. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

47. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

48. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

49. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."

50. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

51. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

52. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

53. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

54. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

55. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."

56. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

57. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

58. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

59. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

60. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

61. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

62. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

63. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

64. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."

65. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

A good or best friend!

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you.

A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall.

A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, idiot?"

A good friend helps you find your prince.

A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

A good friend will offer you a soda.

A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend will get angry at you for calling them late in the night.

A best friend will ask why it took so long for you to call.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain.

A best friend takes yours and says, "Run bitch run!"

A good friend will help you move.

A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail.

A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry.

A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.

A good friend asks you to write down your number.

A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

A best friend will kick the whole crowd's butt that left you.

A good friend knows a few things about you.

A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

A good friend tells you she knows how you feel.

A best friend just sits down and cries.

Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost

Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

Friend: Will help me learn to drive

Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away

Best Friend: Won't let me go away

Friend: Will help me up when I fall down

Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me

Friend: Will bail me out of jail

Best Friend: Will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we messed up...Wanna do it again once we get bailed out?"

Friend: Will go to a concert with me

Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me

FRIENDS: Tells you she knows how you feel.

BEST FRIENDS: Just sits down and cries

Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs."

Best Friend: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad"

Friend: Asks me for my number

Best friend: Asks me for her number

Friend: Hides me from the cops

Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.

Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public

Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

A friend hates your ex-boyfriend;

Best Friends flirt with him just to annoy you.

A friend will push you in a spinny chair;

Best Friend steals the chair sits in it and demands you to spin them.

A friend asks for the cookie,

Best friend steals the bag and says PLEASE?

A friend asks for the cookie,

A best friend gives me the puppy dog look, holds out her hand and says "Cooooookiiiies?"

A friend laughs with you;

Best friend laughs at you.

A friend says "I love your dogs!"

Best friends are secretly plotting on how to steal them.

A friend will encourage you to go after a guy you like.

A Best Friend will throw a chip at his head, point at you, and scream, "IT WAS HER!" to get you to talk to him.

A friend doesn't say anything when your boyfriend cheats.

A Best Friend tells you everything, cheers you up, and then helps you plan his demise.

A friend will shrink away from you when you start singing along to a song on the radio of a store.

A Best Friend will make people pay money to watch you.

A friend will borrow your things, and then give it back.

A Best Friend will wreck and/or lose what they borrowed, say "Oops." and give you a tissue.

A friend will take away your drink when they think you've had enough.

A Best Friend will watch you stumbling around, scowl, and say, "Finish that up! You know we don't waste, girl!"

Friends: Disappear after graduation.

Best Friends: Are there when you're 90 at the local Senor Center talking about the nutty things you've done together.

Things I am not to do at Hogwarts

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it

16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast

18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day"

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways

20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling

26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate

27) I will not steal Gryffindor sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways

28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion

35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"

37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions

48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet

49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice

50) I will not attack my fellow classmates

51) I will not make an impossible riddle for people to give an answer to enter the Ravenclaw area.

1. Do not introduce self as a role-playing character in public.

2. Do not talk to fictional characters in public.

3. Do not answer fictional characters in public.

4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.

5. Do not go out in public.

6. Disregard above note. Perform numbers 1 to 4.

7. Note expressions.

8. Don't die alone. Take many people with you.

9. Floor is slippery when wet.

10. Lake is slippery when dry.

11. Only talk to strangers you know.

12. Strangers you don't know are spies. Kill them all.

13. For legal purposes, be sure to delete above note.

14. Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.

15. Kill them for security purposes.

16. Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings.

17. Make a scene whenever humanly possible.

18. The men in white coats are not your friends.

19. Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects.

20. When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.

21. Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning.

22. Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.

23. Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.

24. Always remember, um... um...

25. Train an army of flying monkeys.

26. Goldfish don't like milk.

27. Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.

28. Find out who invented the word "pianist."

29. People are staring at you.

30. So act insane.

31. People are weird, but not as weird as me.

32. Do not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... and teeth.

33. The Tiny Children are aggressive. Stay away from them, and do not give them candy, even on Halloween.

34. Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experience. Do this as much as possible.

35. You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... bonding.

36. Never pet a burning dog.

37. Never make eye contact with a naked man - especially not if you are wearing a parka.

38. Naked men dig parkas.

39. Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.

40. You know what would look good on you?

41. Immolated cockroaches.

42. Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.

43. The size of Danny DeVito.

44. Making an amusing facial expression. Like this.

45. Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.

46. Stalking is fun. Do it more.

47. Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gum nut tree!"

48. No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world.

49. That way is rum.

50. Constipated people don't care.

52. You cannot kill the snow.

53. The snow can kill you.

54. Grass can also kill you.

55. The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms...

56. Catch and destroy leprechaun. Take charms and gold.

57. HE is real - no matter what the men in white coats say.

58. Staple paper in the middle of the page.

59. In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.

60. You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that.

61. Pretend to be so around teh n00bs.

62. Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul-sucking demon.

63. Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?

64. Ask Senor Diablo for a bigger pitchfork.

65. Remember to kill HIM...

66. Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.

67. Note reactions. Avoid parents.

68. The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.

69. Scream - the doctors don't like it. They'll give you a shot of something nice.

70. Hide the bodies. Otherwise, people ask embarrassing questions.

71. Eat the evidence.

72. But not if it's broken glass.

73. When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run.

74. Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids.

75. Disregard last note.

76. Note reactions.

77. On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year.

78. Stock up on ball point pens.

79. Learn to fly. Tell no one.

80. The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.

81. Do not stick fingers into blender.

82. Blender... bad... ouch…

83. Blood loss is bad.

84. Find way to re-attach fingers.

85. Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.

86. Answer every question with a question.

87. Ask people what gender they are.

88. Note reactions.

89. Refer to people as "mortal."

90. The Seagull from Hell is out to get me.

91. Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.

92. Start by drowning them in fire ants.

93. Find the creators of pop-up messages.

94. Kill them.

95. Brutally.

96. Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.

97. Dunk head in boiling water.

98. Disregard last note. It was written by Voice #7.

99. Gullible IS written on the ceiling!

100. Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down...

101. Find out who invented "Barnie."

102. Kill them.

60 OF THE WORLD'S HAPPIEST (/weirdest) FACTS.

1. A group of flamingos is called a flamboyance.

2. If you fake laugh long enough you’ll start to really laugh, really, really hard.

3. Thebook cover to the prize winning short story collection, Spellbound, was chosen because author, Joel Willans, bought his wife’s engagement ring with poker winnings.

4. The Beatles used the word “love” 613 times throughout their career.

5. The chances of you (as opposed to someone else) being born is about 1 in 40 million.

6. Every year, millions of trees grow thanks to squirrels forgetting where they buried their nuts.

7. On the day of his assassination, Martin Luther King Jr. had a pillow-fight in his motel room.

8. The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We’re all made of star dust.

9. Cancer death rates are down 20% in past 20 years.

10. The miles travelled by the Apollo 11 crew to the moon were greater than every single exploration mission to the New World combined.

11. Penguins only have one mate their entire life and “propose” by giving their mate a pebble.

12. Cows have best friends.

13. Despite high infant mortality rates and lower life expectancies, not one of your direct ancestors died childless.

14. Cuddling releases Oxytocin which helps speed healing and recovery from physical wounds.

15. Otters hold hands when sleeping so they don’t drift away from each other.

16. Apollo 17 astronaut Gene Cernan, the last man to walk on the Moon, wrote his daughter initials there. They’ll last at least 50,000 years.

17. There’s a type of jellyfish that lives forever.

18. Wayne Allwine (the voice of Mickey Mouse) and Russi Taylor (the voice of Minnie Mouse) were married in real life.

19. We now have less crime, a lower death rate and longer life expectancy than at any other time in human history.

20. The clitoris has 8000 nerve fibres, double that of the penis, and is the only organ in the body, which has evolved purely for pleasure.

21. Butterflies can taste with their feet.

22. For someone, somewhere in the world, today is the most amazing day of their life.

23. When you die, your body decomposes, and the atoms that contained “you” are recycled into Earth to be used again.

24. Every year the Netherlands sends 20,000 tulip bulbs to Canada to thank them for their aid in the Second World War.

25. Rats giggle when you tickle them. Their voices are so high-pitched you need special equipment to hear them, but when you do, their laughs are immediately evident.

26. Sea horses mate for life, are completely faithful and travel together by holding on to each others tails.

27. The guy at the end of this video exists.

28. If you say “my cocaine” you sound like Michael Caine saying his own name.

29. Male puppies, when playing with female puppies, will intentionally let the female win.

30. The next Star Wars will not be directed by George Lucas.

31. It takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty-three to frown.

32.The kingdom of Bhutan use ‘gross national happiness’ as a key national indicator.

33. The majority of European children born in 2013 will live to see the year 2100.

34. There’s an animal called a Dik Dik. And it’s the cutest antelope you’ll ever see.

35. Neurologically speaking, seeing somebody else smile actually makes you happier.

36. Every human being spent about half an hour as a single cell.

37. There are people, ombrophiles, who have a passionate love for rain.

38. Once your brain realizes that you’re dying, it releases DMT, one of the most powerful known psychedelics. This dilates your perception of time and allowing you to live inside your own mind for hours or even days.

39. No matter how long you live there will always be an amazing new food for you try.

40. A group of porcupines is called a prickle

41. Aside from a sample in a lab, Smallpox is completely extinct. No one else will ever die from it again.

42. A pig’s orgasms last thirty minutes.

43. We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born.

44. Sloths only leave their tree once a week, to pee and poo.

45. Spinner dolphins sleep in pairs, one with the left hemisphere asleep, the other with the right. They each keep watch with one eye and half a brain. They are known to sleep-mate for life.

46. At the time of your birth, you were, for a few seconds, the youngest person on the planet.

47. Cows produce the most milk when listening to the song Everybody Hurts by REM.

48. Somewhere, someone is losing their virginity right now.

49. If you spell out numbers in order, the first time you get to the letter “a” is at one-thousand.

50. We’ve all been here forever. Every bit of matter we see has been here since the beginning of time and it always will be.

51. A monkey was once tried and convicted for smoking a cigarette in South Bend, Indiana.

52. Happiness is a skill. You can learn it and it’s not hard.

53. Except when breeding, the Common Swift spend their entire lives in the air, living on the insects they catch in flight. They drink, feed, and often mate and sleep on the wing

54. Baby rabbits are called kittens.

55. Baby puffins are called pufflings.

56. Costa Rica is statistically the happiest nation on Earth.

57. Worms communicate by snuggling.

58. 2013 is the first year since 1987 that consists for four different digits.

59. With our horseless carriages, flying robots, space travel, long-distance communication at the speed of light, cloning, lasers, connection to people all over the world, we are living in the future people dreamed of.

60. If you blend a sea sponge, it will re-form back into a sea sponge.

PREP

X You own a cell phone.
X You own something from Abercrombie.
X You own something from Pac sun.
X You own something from Hollister.
X You own something from American eagle. (Hate. Preppy. People.)
X You love/like going to the mall. (To go to a book store, watch a movie, and pig out at the cafeteria.)
X You own an iPod/MP3 player. (Duh. I would literally go insane without music.)
X You love Starbucks.
x you have been called a brat. (I have a sister who calls we a brat once a month, if I'm lucky.)
X You hate buying things that are on sale.
X You have more than one house.

Total: 4

GOTHIC

X Black is one of your favorite colors. (I'm not goth, but black is a awesome color. Goes with everything, makes you look thinner...)
X You have thought about death. (Not my own. My best friend I mentioned earlier...We're not always on good terms.)
X You wear chains.
X You like heavy metal.
X You’ve shopped at Hot Topic. (Heard of it, but I've never been myself.)
X You have worn black lipstick. (What? I dressed up as a Goth for this thing at school...)
X Your hair was/is dark.
X You dislike preps. (Sure, they can be nice, but they usually just try to befriend me because I have a lot of friends.)
x you’re an atheist/ Satanist/agnostic.

Total: 5

PUNk

X You can skateboard (My cousin tried to teach me once, but I fell over all the time.)
x you’ve worn plaid. (Pajama pants count.)
X You like Converse.
X You hate MTV.
X You have/had blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair. (Streaks count, and I went to a spa thing and they streaked my hair.)
x you dislike pink.
X You hate/dislike preps.
X you wear/wore skateboarding shoes. (Does Converse count?)

Total: 5

GEEK

X You love the computer.
X You like Harry Potter.
X You are supposed to wear glasses/contacts
x you get straight A's.
X You love/like reading.
X You were/are in band. (My friends are in band.)
X You don't care what you look like.
X You have a curfew.
X You always do your homework.
X You never miss school unless you're sick.

Total: 7

ATHLETIC

X You watch/watched the Super bowl.
X You own track shoes or other sports related shoes.
X You collect your jerseys. (I collect my Dad's old jerseys, if that counts...I wear one to school sometimes.)
X You have a wall or shelf dedicated to your trophies / awards. (Only have one bowling trophy that a little boy stole from me in kindergarden. Still hate him for it...)
X You have posters or plaques of famous athletes.
X Your garage consists of sports equipment. (A little baseball stuff, a little basketball stuff, a little softball stuff, all bought by my Dad and in one corner of my new garage.)
X You belong/belonged to a school team.
X You are going/did go to a sports summer camp.
X You have a specific number.

Total: 3

HARDCORE//SCENE

X You like loud music.
X You love/loved the Ninja Turtles.
X You never walk anywhere.
X You wear/wore slip-on shoes.
X You wear/wore Vans.
X You like the band Panic! At the disco.
X You wear band t-shirts.
X People have called you a freak and meant it.
X You love to "hardcore" dance.
X Hair has been died more than 1 colour

Total: 4

Your guy side

X You love hoodies.
X You love jeans.
X Dogs are better than cats.
X its hilarious when people get hurt.
X You've played with/against boys on a team.
X Shopping is torture.
X Sad movies suck.
X You own/Ed an X-Box. (I don't have one, and I can't play one, but I want one.)
X Played with Hot wheel cars as a kid.
X At some point in time you wanted to be a fire-fighter. (Who doesn't?)
X You own/Ed a DS, PS or Sega.
X You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
X You watch sports on TV.
X Gory movies are cool.
X You go to your dad for advice.
X You own like a trillion baseball caps.
X You like going to high school football games.
X You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
X Baggy pants are cool to wear.
X It's kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
X Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favourite colors.
X You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
X Sports are fun.
X Talk with food in your mouth.
X Sleep with your socks on at night.

Total: 19 (Great! NINETEEN. I'm a girl, by the way.)

Your girl side:

X You wear lip gloss/Chap stick. (Make-up is not natural, so I don't wear it, and my lips never get chapped unless I'm REALLY REALLY sick, which is once in a blue moon.)
X You love to shop. (I'm guessing books, gory, funny movies and food don't count...)
X You wear eyeliner. (My sister does.)
X You wear the color pink. (Hand me downs.)
X Go to your mom for advice.
X You consider cheerleading a sport. (Don't tell my friends!)
X You hate wearing the color black.
X You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
X You like wearing jewelery. (I like wearing my charm necklace, A Heart 4 Charlie wrist band, my mood ring and my .mustache necklance.)
X Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe. (Not a big part, but I still own some because of the whole hand-me-down thing.)
X Shopping is one of your favourite hobbies. (I don't count it as a hobby, and I don't like it, so no.)
X You don't like the movie Star Wars. (No way! Luke Skywalker rules! Down with the Sithe!)
X You were in gymnastics/dance
x It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
X You smile a lot more than you should.
X You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
X You care about what you look like.
X You like wearing dresses when you can.
X You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne. (NEVER!)
X You love the movies.
X You used to play with dolls as little kid. (Power Rangers count, right?)
X Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it. (Of course! Making people look like clowns is my fave hobby!)
X Like being the star of everything.

Total: 8 (This is just sad.)

Max: Do I ever cross your mind?

Fang: No

Max: Do you like me?

Fang: No

Max: Do you want me?

Fang: No

Max: Would you cry if I left?!?

Fang: No

Max: Would you live for me?

Fang: No

Max: Would you do anything for me? At all?

Fang: No

Max: Okayyy...Choose--me or your life

Fang: My life

Max knees him, glaring, and runs away in pain and anger. Fang runs after her, wincing, and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

Max bites her lip and says, "Ohhh...You need some...er...ice?"

If you find this to be incredibly Faxish, copy and paste it into your profile.

What a guy means sometimes, when he says some stuff-

"You know how bad my memory is!”
"I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned…but I forgot your birthday."

“Oh, don’t fuss, I just cut myself, it’s not big deal.”
"I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

“Take a breath honey. You work too hard."
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner." (He he. I do this...)

"It‘s a guy thing."
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical." (This, too...except I say, 'It's a nerd thing.')

"Can I help with dinner?"
"Why isn't it already on the table?"

"It would take too long to..."
"I have no idea how it works." (This, too...)

"I can't find it."
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless." (He he...do I need to say it?)

Really Random...

1.Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say?

A: Mom and Gem-Mama. "Hiya! Whatcha doin'?" Me. "We're watch-" Mom. "Just go. You don't want to watch this." Gem-Mama. "Okaaaay...? Bye?" Me.

2.What's the last thing you ate/drank?

A: Ate grilled cheese; drank: Diet Pepsi.

3. What was the last thing you thought?

A: Why the heck am I updating my profile right now? Aw, what the heck.

4. What are you eating/drinking RIGHT NOW?

A: Err...nothing...

5. Have a conversation with the nearest living thing by you.

A: *Looks around.* No one's near me. I scared them off.

6. Find a book. Turn to page 56, line 18, and word 6.

A: "Tea."

7. If you could be anybody from Maximum Ride, who would you be?

A: Nudge. She can talk SO FREAKING FAST. And the hackingness is awesome. ;D

8. Type your name with your elbow.

A: Anna.

9. Stand up. Close your eyes. Start spinning around for three seconds. Open your eyes. What's the first thing you see?

A: My dishwasher. (I'm in the room next to the kitchen and we only have doors on the bedrooms, bathrooms and living room.)

10. Where are you?

A: My dining room...

11. Look up, now look back. What did you see?

A: A small crack on the ceiling...Should I be nervous?

12. What's your personality like?

A: Sarcastic, weird, funny, pessimistic.

13. Say 'George Bush'. What was the first thing that came to your mind?

A: Sha-Sha was wrong.

14. You have a million dollars. What do you do first?

A: BUY MAXIMUM RIDE! BWAHAHA!

15. Find the third letter of all your answers. Underline them. What do they spell? What does it remind you of?

A: ME Y ROAD ND D MR A Y! My wicked road and the Maximum Ride angst, why?

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em. If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em. If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em. If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em. If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.

I'd be this girlfriend

When she walks away from you mad

Follow her.

When she stares at your mouth

Kiss her.

When she pushes you or hits you

Grab her and don't let go.

When she starts cussing at you

Kiss her and tell her you love her.

When she's quiet

Ask her whats wrong.

When she ignores you

Give her your attention.

When she pulls away

Pull her back.

When you see her at her worst

Tell her she's beautiful.

When you see her start crying

Just hold her and don't say a word.

When you see her walking

Sneak up and hug her waist from behind.

When she's scared

Protect her.

When she lays her head on your shoulder

Tilt her head up and kiss her.

When she steals your favorite hat

Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night. (Hah! The guy I like glares at me and takes it back!)

When she teases you

Tease her back and make her laugh.

When she doesn't answer for a long time

Reassure her that everything is okay.

When she looks at you with doubt

Back yourself up.

When she says that she likes you she really does more than you could understand.

When she grabs at your hands

Hold hers and play with her fingers.

When she bumps into you bump into her back and make her laugh.

When she tells you a secret keep it safe and untold.

When she looks at you in your eyes don't looks away until she does.

When she misses you she's hurting inside.

When you break her heart the pain never really goes away.

When she says its over she still wants you to be hers.

When she re-post this bulletin she wants you to read it

Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.

- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

- When she says she's OK don't believe it, talk with her

- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-

Call her before you sleep and after you wake up

- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

- Tease her and let her tease you back.

Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid

.- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes.

- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.

- Let her know she's important.

- Kiss her in the pouring rain.

- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

The toothfairy teaches kids it's okay to sell body parts.

Show me a girl with both feet planted firmly on the ground and I'll show some one who can't put her pants on

I'm not crazy. My reality is just different then yours.

Backstabbing is fun... the look on your face is priceless

I snap crackle and pop rice krispies.

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

Workin' hard or hardly workin'?

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

I believe 'die bitch' conveys my feelings properly

Almost everybody hates me, but I dislike them too, so it's even.

Relax. Nothing is ok.

I love deadlines. I like to wave at them as they pass by.

Always forgive your enemies... nothing annoys them more.

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you.

If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk off the occasional cliff.

Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...

Kid, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

Got a problem with me? Solve it.

The voices in my head may not be real but they still have pretty good ideas...

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n’ slide.

Smile. It confuses people.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

Help, I've fallen and I can't...hey, nice carpet! It's soo pretty!

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

The cops never find it as funny as you do.

A friend will tell you that you’re a great singer even if you're terrible, a best friend will tell you that you suck.

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid butt.

Good friends will pick you up when your fall, BEST FRIENDS will push you back down and laugh.

Good friends ask why you're crying, BEST FRIENDS already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry.

Good friends will say you can do better, BEST FRIENDS will call him up and say, "Write your will, you have seven days."

A good friend will say that you are over reacting, a BEST FRIEND will be laughing their butt off saying "Someone’s going to get it!"

1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry jerk.

2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused, I will use little words.

7. When you are sick, stay the heck away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(Just when they’re distracted.)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(Why not?!? UNCLE BOB DOES!)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Giant Eagle has alcohol.)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(Not vandalism. Only destruction.)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(Why would I? Grandma’s loaded.)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Okay, I’ll just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(Well, we can’t skip class…Just school!)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(That’s Star’s thing! Why would I be a bad friend and take that from her?)
9) Thou shall not think about sleeping with anyone.
(…Wasn’t gonna. But YOU, apparently, ARE. Hmmm???)
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(Not all the way, anyways. Just leave ‘em in the middle.)

"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no freakin’ way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the heck can't paper do this to scissors? Stuff scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating student as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that thing up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, ‘Oops, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you idiot.’"

This is the stupid test! 100 stupid things that people do! (BOLDED)

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails (...*Sheepish look.*...)
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion (…I was young and easily mesmerized.)
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or football with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.
23. Have run into a closed door
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. Walked into a pole
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it (Sadly.)
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do. (ALL THE TIME.)
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. Have poked yourself in the eye
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on (Uhm, and my glasses…)
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair. (…I know. I’m a freak.)
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny or a movie
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions
67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out.
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. Ran into a door jam
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. Have purposely licked playground sand. (DARE! IT WAS A DARE!)
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't (Haha, yeahhh…)
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back.
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone.
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird (WTF?)
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at (*Awkward cough.)
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it. (DON’T ASK. GRR.)
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper.
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth

…92? Sad.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot.

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself.

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (Totally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffeine

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (Hehe. Some are fully worn.)

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason.

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. "

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. I am Weird and PROUD OF IT!

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Don't hate yourself in the morning- sleep till noon.

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile, but only 4 muscles to reach out and biotch slap someone.

It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just drink it and get it over with!

Toes aren’t needed for balance. They are just a helpful tool for finding items in the dark. Painfully.

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone.

If you know me, chances are you hate me.

Sometimes, people just build walls up not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break through.

The cracks in the cement are a reminder that no matter how strong you may be, you can break.

Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot.

I can't change the world. Only sit back and criticize it.

He broke my heart. So I broke his jaw. :D

Barbie teaches your kids it's ok to dress like Lissa as long as you're made of plastic.

You can look at life in two different ways; You either wake up late and it’s time to get up, or you wake up really, really early and it’s time to go back to sleep.

You say I’m impossible, and that I need to let down my walls and open up. But if you don’t understand that I’m just waiting for the right person to find a way through them, then you aren’t them.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried... The list is getting shorter.

Stuff happens. But mostly to me, so don't worry.

Don't get me mad, I am running out of places to hide bodies!

You know you're stressed out when you can hear mimes.

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods; Because Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

I intend to live forever... so far so good.

Old enough to know better, young enough to do it again.

Embrace the inner rebel - don't sit up straight.

Sure I have super powers! I just don't wanna show you.

You're awesome... but when the zombies come, I'm tripping you.

I am not weird... just plotting.

I don't obsess! I think intensely!

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

I'm not a complete idiot - some parts are missing.

I see regular people! Run for your lives!

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

If you always stop to smell the roses sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.

If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete.

You say pscyho like it's a bad thing (some people just don't understand.)

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!

I hear voices, and they don't like you.

Normal people worry me.

A good girl is just a bad girl who's never gotten caught.

Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid?

If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, And so are you, But the roses are wilting, The violets are dead, The sugar bowl's empty, And so is your head.

Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART

Must press the Red button!

Bad stuff happens, mostly to me, so don't worry.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

You can't fix stupid.

I'm an angel honest... the horns are just there to keep the halo straight

Darn! I thought I had hidden the pitch fork, and did anyone notice the tail.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

When in doubt...throw a chair.

Even though he's gone, you can still hear the stupid.

Wake Up, Read, Eat, Read, Go to School, Read, Eat, Read, Go to Sleep, Repeat

Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot.

Watch out for the idiot behind me.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

The reason your mama told you not to hit girls is they hit back harder, and sometimes repeatedly.

When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout

STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand

When life throws you lemons... throw something harder back!

On a scale of one to crazy, I'm a penguin!

I did not hit you...I simply high fived your face.

Happiness is just around the corner; too bad the world is round!

The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.

Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate.

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones

If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.

I know the traffic signals by heart; green means go, yellow means speed up, and red means check for cops.

Boys are like wine; They need to have the mess kicked out of them and be left to mature for a while before they become something you are able to have a meal with.

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!!

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.

When in doubt, push random buttons!

You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft!

'Curiosity killed the mutant bird kid.'

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

I didn't say it was your fault...just that I was going to blame you

My attention span is just short enough to annoy you and ignore you at the same time.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me!

There are all kinds of art. There's the art of drawing, the art of dancing, the art of science, and of course the refined art of being an idiot

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

The light at the end of the tunnel is a freight train headed your way.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

The only way to make my PC faster is throwing it out the window.

Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way; wisdom is looking both directions anyway.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and witch slap someone.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

Why don't you slip into something comfortable; like a coma. I will gladly help you.

Define 'normal…'

Knowledge is power; Power is the root of all evil. Therefore study evil and excel at it.

If the opposite of pro is con, what's the opposite of Progress?

Only two things are infinite: 1) The universe. 2) Human stupidity

There are few problems that cannot be solved with large amounts of explosives.

Boys don't fall for me; I trip them.

If you think I'm normal, you need to go to a mental hospital.

What is this 'kindness' you speak of?

I say we shoot Cupid and see how he likes it.

I believe that dragons, unicorns and sporks do exsist.

The first time I was chatting with someone online, they asked me "asl?" I tried to sound it out and got realy ticked of and started warning them because I thought they were calling me an asshole.

Behold the mighty...chihuahua?

When you look at the sky do you see a cloud or a dinosaur in a tutu?

Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron.

Snot is brain juice leaking out of your nose.

If you're really my friend, I'll probably make jabs at you. It's all in good fun. But don't confuse jabs with insults. Insults involve actual dislike.

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

"All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies." (TOO FREAKING TRUE!)

"He who laughs last thinks slowest and he who laughs first doesn't get it."

"Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought"

"Welcome to the Ool. There's no "p" in it, lets keep it that way." (Lol...)

Every time a guy ignores me, I know it’s just because he’s a avian-human hybrid and doesn't want to envolve me in the crap he is in.

Did you know that they have Bill Nye the Science Guy under T.V. shows and that ten people have written stories for it?

What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding.

I'm an optimistic pessimist.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

Your multiple personalities are freaking out my imaginary friend!

It takes 48 muslces to frown but only 14 to flip some one off.

I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it.

I'm going on a quest, to the deepest, darkest corners of my room, in search of what some would call a "floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me my friends, wish me luck, for I may not return alive

I'm the kinda girl who always falls for the sidekick, always.

Who ever said 'nothing is impossible' never tried to slam a revolving door.

(Like you don’t gasp every time you see three fourteen yearolds, an eleven yearold, an eight yearold, a six yearold, and their scotish terrier.)

I wish my lawn was emo... then it could cut itself.

Strangers have the best candy.

You stare because I’m different...(0.0) ('.') ('.') ('.')I stare because you're all the same.

Free hugs.

Your epidermus is showing!

I do what ever my rice Krispes tell me to.

You dropped your pocket.

I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out.

I was about to take over the world, but I got distracted when I saw something shiny.

Its all gouda.

My imaginary friends are jealous of my voices.

When Edward goes to bed at night, he checks his closet for Harry Potter.

You cry. I cry. You laugh. I laugh. You jump off a bridge. I laugh.

I'm not fat. I'm just short for my weight.

Your chances of being struck by lightning go up if you stand on a hill beneath a tree raise your fist to the sky and shout, 'Storms Suck!'

'We're gonna kick Luke and Titian arse.' 'What? Luke has a tight arse?'

Can I borrow your pen? I need to stab you in the eye.

Your year book picture still haunts me.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is GOING somewhere.

Don't try to out-weird me--I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast ceral.

Don't you look at me with that tone of voice.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

You don't like me, well it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.

Shakespear must have had a lot of one-night-stands because anyone who can make suicide romantic had to be a smooth talker.

Love can be so boring.

Many a grandchild was spoiled because you simply cannot spank Grandpa.

Ociffer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

Ahh pure love (smiles wistfully) It makes me sick.

You're a special kind of stupid aren't you?

I never wanted a prince to save me from a dragon and whisk me away. I wanted a dragon for a best friend that would help me destroy the idiot that pulled on my braids in class.

Fanfictions aren't everything... but they're right up there with oxygen.

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Colin.

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Never argue with me, I'll drag you down to my level and beat you with a bat.

You say crazy like it's a bad thing...

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor...

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

They laugh because we're losers...We laugh because they just figured it out.

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

(said during baseball game) Anything going that fast should have seatbelts and a flight attendant

Stop with your premeditated spontaneity.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, drop the fruit.

If it wasn’t for physics and law enforcement I'd be unstoppable.

How come we drive on a parkway and park on a drive way?

A computer password is like a toothbrush: Change it every six months and don't share with anyone else

On the down side I now am registered for things I don't want to be and I find my self paying for things I didn't buy and the up side I won Aol's most creative password

I trippped over a wireless phone

Remember students, all Voldemort really needs is a hug.

They say ignorance is bliss; I would rather be blissfully ignorant then know THAT.

Never say 'things couldn't get any worse.' God takes that as a personal challenge

The world is big enough for Werewolves AND Wizards.

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx

Why are the Force and duct tape the same? Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.

I'm easily distrac- Look, shiny!!

Emily is not the wolf girl. I am.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I'm a big fan of letting my imagination run wild. There's always a chance it won't come back, but it always has, and usually with an odd scent attached to it.

If you're looking for sympathy, it's right between 'sh!t' and 'syphilis' in the dictionary.

I will temporarily rule the world, forever.

Aww heck no, I didn't kill him.

Every day I think people can't get any stupider. Every day I am proven horribly wrong.

Life is all about arse. Everyone's either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece of it, or simply just being one.

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

If life gives you lemons, throw them back at the jerk who gave 'em to ya and demand chocolate.

In an average room there are about, 120,496 objects a Ravenclaw can use to kill you. Including the room itself.

I wanted to be a warrior like you, not a damsel in this dress.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

You break it, you buy it, and, Honey, my heart is priceless.

"Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork."

Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in your face?!

So what if we act like imature idiots? We're having fun.

If you cry, I cry. If you laugh, I laugh. If you fight, I got your back. If you trip, I'll catch you when you fall. If you jump off a bridge... Oh heck ,wait for me!"

I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.

If I asked for your oppinion, I'd take the tape off your mouth.

I am a peaceful person that is filled with violent rage.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends. (Too. Freaking. True.)

I know at least one person who would love to push me down the stairs

Music is my boyfriend.

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have!

I'm here because Heaven wouldn't take me, and Hell was afraid I'd take over.

Fanfiction...Beacuse it's cheaper then therapy.

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they've seen me laugh, and they've seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

Ohh look its a bird, it's a plane, it's... an egg salad sandwich

Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and lose that's weird.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls.

Slinky Escalator = Endless fun

Palm Reader: -gasp- "You're going to die. But don't worry, you'll live through it."

Do not attempt to follow my footsteps. I walk into a lot of walls.

Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal.

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

You can't spell awesome without ME!

A Minneapolis company has come out with a credit card size shotgun that fits in your wallet. The inventor says he invented it to give people a sense of security. Oh yeah, what makes you feel more secure than sitting on shotgun? Now how does this work? What's the first thing a thief steals? Your wallet, oh, now he's got your gun too!

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

The only way to make your PC go faster is to throw it out a window.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

'If you are first you are first. If you are second you are not in first.'

I was normal before I met you!

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I say, when life gives you lemons, make apple juice and laugh at the looks people give you.

'I'm not moving backwards, I'm just moving forwards in another direction.'

You break it, you buy it, and my heart is pretty damn expensive.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Wrinkles merely show where smiles have been.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties.

You think you're all that and a bag of chips. Well I'm all that and a bag of skittles. So taste my rainbow, bitch.

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit just a little bit harder.

Every time you open your mouth, you get in trouble. Alternatively, just stick up your middle finger under the table.

I have reviews from teens and you don't. In your FACE James Patterson.

There's nothing wrong with taking to random objects, its when they start to talk back that you need to worry.

Who ever said that words never hurt obviously has never got hit by a dictionary.

Nine of the ten Voices in my head think I'm sane. The tenth is undecided.

Growing older is manditory. Growing up is optional.

When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.

You say I've lost my sanity. Well I have news for you. You can't lose what you never had.

Yeah, Im a loser. but the coolest loser you'll ever meet.

"We may not make good decisions, but hell, we make good stories."

I'm not lying! I'm just blowing up the truth!

"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. "

"I didn't lie! I just created fiction with my mouth! "

"Some people are like Slinkies: not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face, when you push them down a flight of stairs. "

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells."

"Imagination is more important than knowledge."

"The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.""

HE : Can I buy you a drink?
SHE : Actually I’d rather have the money.

HE : I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.
SHE : I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.

HE : Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE : Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE : I must’ve been given your share.

HE : Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE : Sorry. I’m having a headache this weekend.

HE : Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE : Go on, don’t be shy. Ask me out.
SHE : Okay, get out.

HE : I think I could make you very happy.
SHE : Why? Are you leaving?

HE : What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE : Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

HE : Can I have your name?
SHE : Why? Don’t you already have one?

HE : Shall we go see a movie?
SHE : I’ve already seen it.

HE : Where have you been all my life?
SHE : Hiding from you.

HE : Haven’t I seen you some place before?
SHE : Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.

HE : Is this seat empty?
SHE : Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE : So, what do you do for a living?
SHE : I’m a female impersonator.

HE : Hey baby, what’s your sign?
SHE : Do not enter.

HE : Your body is like a temple.
SHE : Sorry, there are no services today.

HE : If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.
SHE : If I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.

HE: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
SHE: Was it relieving when you escaped Hell?

HE:Your eyes...they're amazing.

SHE: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

HE: I'd like to call you. What's your number?

SHE: It's in the phone book

HE: I know how to please a woman.

SHE: Then PLEASE leave me alone.

HE:I can tell you want me.

SHE:Ohhhh, you're so right, I want you to leave.

HE: If you were a hamburger at McDonalds you would be McGorgeous!

SHE: Would that be under your McLame Burger?

HE:Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven

SHE: Not nearly as bad as when you fell on planet rejection

HE: Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

SHE: No, but sure...next time just be sure to keep walking

HE: I want to give myself to you

SHE: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts

SHE: It's a good thing I have a library card because I'm checking you out.

SHE: Sorry, I'm on reserve for someone else

Love sucks sometimes.

I mean.

You can love someone who doesn’t know you exists, or hates you, or has you in the friendzone.

You can love someone that loves you, but isn’t into commitment.

You can love someone who abuses you.

You can love someone who you can’t trust.

I wonder why there’s so many different kinds of love, when all can end in heartbreak.

Except fairytale love.

But that’s fairytale.

Love makes you want to cry,

To smile,

To be stupid,

To be crazy.

It can make the world brighter,
Or darker.

Heck, in fairytales, a kiss from someone who loves you a whole freaking lot can save your freaking life.

Your first kiss, you always imagine is perfect, with sparks and dizzy feelings and someone who loves you.

Of course, I wouldn’t know about the real thing.

After all. I’ve never BEEN kissed.

But I wonder…

Why make so many different kinds of love if there’s only two paths it can take?

Heartbreak…or happiness?

I swear, people are fnicking morons.

Falling in love is for suckers.

But.

I guess I’m one too, then, huh?

But what lucky suckers some people are

FAVORITE QUOTES:

'“I hate you! You’re a pig trying to convince himself he’s a human!”' Max Martinez, written by yours featherly.

'“What did you do?” “I fell for the most stubborn girl in the universe.”' Anna and then Fang, my book.

"Come here!" "Uhm, no thank you. That's what the Big Bad Wolf said." My sister and then me.

'"Do you think that one moved?" "Oh my Iggy, that fried worm just moved! Don't touch it! Yeah, the one near the soy bean pod..."' T and then me at lunch, staring at her brown noodles.

'"What are you looking at?" "An idiotic Psycho."' Frootloops and I at lunch after I looked at him for spazzing out.

'"Can I have your pickles?" "NO!"' Ty and I at lunch after I was talking to Max and Nudge, my two best friends.

'"I'm not the Rock anymore...I'm the trashcan." "No way! I'm the trashcan!" "No, you can be the garbage bin, I'M the trashcan!" "FINE."' Un and I during recess as Emo Elmo Emu watched us.

"If I just stuck out my tongue...I'd be able to lick his chin." Max, Life's Rough.

'"I shall nov eat de shickhars bahrs!"' Gazzy, Maximum Ride.

'"What are you ON?" "Wouldn't you like to know."' Gem-Mama, my sister, and I, sitting on the couch. Gem found this totally hilarious.

'"That's the first step to becoming a QP!" "What's a QP?" "A perky, preppy, peppy, poppy."' My friend and I at lunch. I was the one talking about the QPs.

'"Do you think I'm Bipolar?" "Yes, I do." "Why are you even here? I don't even like you." "That's my emo corner." "That's a shadow. Go away." "No. That's my emo corner."' Me and Emo-Elmo-Emu at recess.

'"Hey, Shorty." "I'm taller than you." "No. It just seems that way because you have two inches of tall, fluffy hair on top of your head." "You have one too." "No I don't. My hair is flat." "Than you just have a big head." "No, wait, I think it's only one inch of fluff, the rest is YOUR big head."' Me and Total, my best guy friend, bickering on the way to lunch.

'"Oh my god. Your curls! They are so gorgeous. Can I touch them?" "No, you may not." "They're so smooth!" "Please stop touching my hair." "Your curls are like Nick Jonas'!" "I don't care if I lose! Get away from me!" "I WIN! I AM VICTORIOUS!"' Me and Dillie at his house, the last two playing the game as I won.

'“Come on. There’s Ben and Jerry’s in the fridge. They’re the only men who aren’t rats other than uncles, grandfathers and dads.”' Anna, in afore mentioned book, soon-to-be FanFic.

'“That’s my line, Idjiot. Maybe you’d remember that if you weren’t playing tonsil hockey with Lissa 24/7. Honestly, I hope one of you chokes due to lack of air. Or, better yet, BOTH OF YOU.”' Max, my FanFic, to Fang.

'“Yeah, guess you hit my head a little too hard.” “Yeah, you ended up losing your brain.”' Fang (1) and Max (2) in my FanFic.

'"C'mon, Nicky, we should go before we catch a disease." "What, like BRAINS?!"' Lissa, then Max and Tami in my other book.

'Do I open it? Do I open it? OF COURSE I FREAKING OPEN IT!' Max, ending part of Fang.

'The funny thing about facing imminent death is that it really snaps everything else into perspective.' First line of the first chapter of the first book of Maximum Ride.

'"Have you been playing in the toxic waste recently? Been bitten by a radioactive spider?"' Fang, Maximum Ride, after Iggy and Nudge each got new powers.

'"I believe in you, Max. I'll always believe in you."' Angel's 'last words' to Max in the latest Maximum Ride book, Angel.

'"Woody Dean, you are a idiot and a philistine."' Nell, It's A Boy/Girl Thing.

'"OW! What was that for?" "For thinking that." "Thinking what?" "You know what."' Me and Un after I whacked her for thinking that Total liked me. Everyone gets a glint in their eyes when they think it, so I knew. She tried to play innocent, though.

'"Go die in a hole." (Nudge) "Make me." (Frootloops.) "We could. We'd need a bag and a fishing net, and then we could dig a hole, dump him in and leave. Ooh, and make sure it's six feet deep." (Me.) "You hear that? Anna and I have a plan." (Nudge.) Nudge, Frootloops, and I.

'"Olive! There's a boy here! He mentioned something about your hand in marriage!" "Oh, Mother! I was thinking I would have to spend my diary on pills and cats to numb the pain!"' Olive and her mom, Easy A.

'"Wow-Wow-w-w-wow!" "That was beautiful." "Never had a single lesson." "That boy from yesterday dropped this off for you." "Well, put it in the pile of gifts from my other suitors!"' Once again, Olive and her mom.

'"Olive has a boy in her room." "A boy?" "A boy." "A boy?" "A boy." "A boy?" "A boy." "Wow."' Olive's Mom and Dad.

'"Listen, Son, even when two people love each other the way your mother and I used to..."' Olive's dad.

'"That was smart. You must be related to me." "Only by marriage." "Give me something."' Olive and her dad.

'"You are so weird." "Thank you. Weird means different and different means unique."' Un and I, many times a day.

'"I am awesomesaucetastic sprinkles!"' Me, walking to school with Bayls of Hay.

'"OW! WHAT THE HECK?! WHO THE FLIP JUST STEPPED ON MY FREAKIN' KNEE?!"' Me, at my friend Max's birthday slumber party, at the same time her mom appeared at the doorway. The universe hates me.

'There you have it, folks, the twisted logic of a teenage boy.' The Universe Hates Me, chapter 17, Fang.

'"I don't get you sometimes." "You're not supposed to."' Un and I over email.

'"We must recruit the Terminator as part of our army to rule the world." "Of course. And Captain Kirk." "Let's not forget Voldemort." "Ermmmm...I'm not sure..." "He's the Dark Lord, Dude!" "Yeah, but he can die..." "Not unless you destroy his crap!" "Fine."' Emo-Elmo-Emu and I planning our fake world domination.

'"They're just trying to be cooler than our none-club-group." "YEAH, but they can't be. We're going to take over the world with awesomesaucetasticness and a army of ants!"' Un and I talking about the 'Miss-fits.'

'This time I didn’t refrain. I shot him a flipping HAWK.' Max in my book, Boring Is Better, written by yours featherly.

'"Are you making fun of me, Riz?" "What?"' Me and then Chalaey. And a lot of other people, sadly, because I only say that when someone makes fun of me.

'"Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke-Pokemon!"' Me, right now, really bored because I'm weird enough to be awake at 4:35 am...but, shh...Don't tell my Mama!

'"I'm NOT a dumb blonde! I am simply a DIM blonde!"' Me to my friend after she looked at me like I was dumb.

'"Brown and blonde hair is impossible, right Anna?" "Um...Hell-ooo?!" Nudge and then me, as I twirled my DIRTY BLONDE hair around my finger.

'"You have de-clared war on the Cyber-men." "This is not war. It is pest control." Cyberman and then Dalex from Doctor Who.

"Every human knows about Utopia, where have you been?" The Master. "I'm a bit of a hermit." The Doctor. "A hermit with friends?" The Master. "Hermit's United. We meet up every ten years. Chat about top caves and such. Quite fun...For a hermit." The Doctor. The Doctor and The Master from Doctor Who.

"Humankind. It's amazing. Television in their stomach. That is evolution." The Master, watching Teletubbies.

"Ugh, CHIVALRY IS DEAD. FACE IT, EMBRACE IT!" Me, watching NetFlix.

"BUT THEY NEVER LISTEN TO ME! They always go into the closet or the basement after I scream at them not to! I even throw popcorn!" Me, watching horror films and getting annoyed.

"Are you afraid of ME?" Random kid, puts scary look on his face. "Naw." Adam. "Then why are you scared of her?" Random kid. "HEY! Wait, why ARE you afraid of me?" Me, looking down at Adam, who looks scared. "Cause I know you." Adam. "HURTFUL!" Me again. This is at Natures Classroom as we got ready for lunch after I beat Adam and Anthony's butts in basketball.

'"Not cool, Man." *Snort from me.* "If he's a man I'm scared for mankind."' Chalaey and then me, talking about Jack.

'"Oh my god I think my dog has red eye! Wait...nope that's just his blood around his eye."' Me on the phone with my friends.

Giggle. '"If someone was staring at me right now they'd think I was a crackhead. Because, you know, I'm staring at the ceiling fan and giggling."' Same phone call, still me.

Singing. '"I'm putting Spongey in the MIIIIICRO-WAVE! I'm putting Spongey in MIIIICROWAVE! Wait...Is that thing still on speaker?"' Me, same phone call, making Spongebob Mac and Cheese. Yuperooni, I'm special.

"Anna, do you like Ryan?" Random kid in my art class I don't know. "No..." Me, trying to remember where I'd heard Ryan's name before. "But you're dating him." Random kid I dunno again. "No I'm not! I don't know the guy! I don't know most of the people at this school!" Me, disgusted and flabbergasted. "Who am I?" Random Kid. "I DON'T KNOW!" Me, having a freak attack because this kid is asking me all these questions while I'm trying to paper mache my pathetic excuse of a toucan. "Who is he?" Random Kid, pointing at a guy I talk to at my table. "I DON'T KNOW!" Me. "Brian!" Jess, next to me. "BRIAN!" Me, screaming, pointing at the kid, trying to get other kid to LEAVE ME ALONE. "Brian?" Random kid, laughing. "That's what she told me..." Me, pointing at Jess.

Later, same art class...

"Anna, are you really dating Ryan?" Random chick I don't know. (HOW DO ALL THESE PEOPLE KNOW MY NAME???) "WHO IS HE?! REALLY, WHO IS HE?!?" Me, going ape on poor girl asking me about a rumor. "Well, there's a rumor going around that you are." Random chick, leaving. WHO IS RYAN?!?!?!?!

"Did you know dolphins are just gay sharks?" Britney, Glee.

"Haha, no, I'm not planning my dream wedding. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Right now I'm just planning on how to find out if my future-fiance loves me or not in the most embarrassing ways possible. You should try it." Me. "Uhm, what's your plan?" My friend. "Oh, he has to propose on a train, have them play the musical 'Red Riding Hood' in the background, order The Sub, use my proposal speech-yes, I have one written-, sing something embarrassing and unsappy, and then take out an onyx engagement ring, no diamond crap." Me. "Wow, you've really planned this out." Friend. "Totally. Now all I have to do is wait for the idiot who actually goes through with my ridiculous plan." Me.

"I wanted to see the universe, and so I stole a Time Lord and left." The Tardis, Doctor Who.

"Borrowed shows the intent of bringing it back. Why would I return you?" The Tardis, Doctor Who.

"Hey, Honey. I'm home." The Doctor. "And what sort of time is this?" River Song.

Now, my favorite authors and books, and my fanfics!