The Introduction: Why You Don't Need To Know My Name, Age, or Location

Hello! I would like to personally thank you for visiting my profile page! But, unfortunately, that isn't possible because I don't have a special stalker device to see who has visited my profile page. (Or do I? *looks around deviously*) Well, I don't think you need to know my name. I mean really, why the hell would you care? That's what you have a PenName for. Duh! I am an exceptionally talented writer for my age (if I do say so myself), another fact about me which you also do not need to know. I'm definitely NOT telling you my location, because I don't want to die because some people just don't know how to shut up and they blab their mouths to someone who may very well be a killer. Yeah. That's right.

Talents: I am a writer, an artist, a singer, and an actress.I'm also not bad at imitating characters from AVPM and AVPS. :D

Likes: Heels (What? I like being three inches taller than I actually am! ^_^), dresses that aren't girly, tape, and boxes.

LOVES: TEAM STARKID, ANYTHING TO DO WITH TEAM STARKID, LAUREN LOPEZ, PEDRO'S ARMY AND EVERYONE IN IT, DOCTOR WHO, GLEE, Pancit Canton (the best instant Asian noodles EVER), Victorious, Harry Potter, AVPM, AVPS, Percy Jackson, violence, writing, singing, acting, making people laugh, my friends, my family, Just Dance 1 and 2, Fanfiction, FictionPress, my Language Arts teacher Mrs. Poko, Shakespeare, Ariana Grande, Madonna, Barbra Streisand, The Nanny, Guys and Dolls, Funny Girl, Criminal Minds, Hot in Cleveland, That 70's Show, Glee, Ariana Grande as Cat, karaoke, Oh! My Goddess, anime and manga in general, KITTIES!!!!, baby bunnies, funny quotes, Team Starkid, Redvines :), Sirius Black, cute shoes, Adele, Paramore, Green Day, The Beatles, Elton John, showtunes, Avril Lavigne, The Rolling Stones, Gwyneth Paltrow, Naya Rivera, DARREN CRISS!!!, Britney Spears, and a bunch of other stuff I forgot to mention

HATES (There aren't any "dislikes" here. I either like it, love it, or hate it.): When people are rude, stupid people, falling down, being wrong, gay canon pairings, Robbie on Victorious (I'm sorry, he just annoys me so much!!), the fact that Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends was canceled, places that are too hot, when people stall and don't spit it out already, waiting, patience, waking up before 8 unless it's a school day, being woken up and then can't go back to sleep, when my ears pop, stupid people, girls who are shallow and conceited, girls who have to do things to themselves to feel good, criticism, losing (Now before you judge me too harshly, I'm not one of those idiots who will do anything to win. No, I'll play fair (most of the time), I just hate to lose.), when my ice cream melts, when cereal gets all soggy, that more people don't like Redvines :), stupid people (did I say that already?), the fact that some people have no respect for others, Finkle, Otto, Sujay, Cameron, people who talk about Justin Bieber on a Britney Spears video, Justin Bieber, when my drawings turn out crappy, that 2-day waiting span when you first sign up for Fanfiction or FictionPress and you can't publish anything even though you have a good story all ready to go, flamers, being scared, the fact that I haven't become famous because of Youtube and Justin Bieber has, Finn on Glee (I'm sorry; I did say I hated stupid people, right??), Jesse on Glee, the fact that I don't have a twin sister, the fact that they have karaoke videos for all the songs that Victoria Justice has done but not for the song Give it Up by Ari and Liz, the fact that it's taking so long for Keiichi and Belldandy to get together, too much homework, extra tests, and stupid people.

And that's not even half of it.

I am an available beta-reader! Yay!

Proud to be a Starship Ranger

Proud to be Gryffinpuff

Proud to be a Gleek

Proud to be a member of Pedro's Army

Proud to be a Starkid

Proud to say no to the status quo

Proud to be a Whovian

Proud to be a fangirl

(Lauren and Lise are sitting in a classroom)

Lise-I can’t believe we’ve got double English.

Lauren- English is well dry

Lise- I don’t see what so great about reading anyways

Lauren- No, readings for loooosers.

Lise- Innit though. A’least we got a new teacher today

Lauren- yeah, right, that’ll be a laugh won’it

(Enter Mr. Logan/David Tennant)

Mr. Logan- Morning.

All- Allllright

Mr. Logan- As I’m sure you’re aware my name is Mr. Logan, I’m your new English teacher. Nice to meet you all. Hope you’re all ready to get to grips with some Elizabethan literature. Let all turn to page fifty three, in our poetry text books. I think we’ll dive straight in with the bard himself.

Lauren- Sir?

Mr. Logan- Yeah

Lauren- Are you English, sir?

Mr. Logan- No, I’m Scottish.

Lauren- So you ain’t English then.

Mr. Logan- No, I’m British.

Lauren- So you ain’t English then.

Mr. Logan- No I’m not but as you can see I do speak English.

Lauren- But I can’t understand what your saying, sir.

Mr. Logan- Well clearly you can.

Lauren- Sorry, are you talking Scottish now?

Mr. Logan- No, I’m talking English.

Lauren- Right. Don’t sound like it.

Mr. Logan- Okay, whatever you want. Now, let’s get on with Shakespeare.

Lauren- I don’t think you’re qualified to teach us English.

Mr. Logan- I am perfectly qualified to teach you English.

Lauren- I don’t fink you are though.

Mr. Logan- You don’t have to be English to teach it.

Lauren- Right, have we got double English, or double Scottish?

Mr. Logan- Is your name Lauren Cooper by any chance?

Lauren- Yeah. Why?

Mr. Logan- Your reputation precedes you.

Lauren- Innit though.

Mr. Logan- So, Shakespeare’s sonnets--

Lauren- Sir?

Mr. Logan- A sonnet is a poem--

Lauren- Sir?

Mr. Logan- --written in fourteen--

Lauren- Sir?

Mr. Logan- --lines--

Lauren- Sir?

Mr. Logan- -- the last two of which--

Lauren- Sir?

Mr. Logan- --must form a rhyming couplet--

Lauren- Sir?

Mr. Logan- Yes Lauren!

Lauren- Can I aks you a question?

Mr. Logan- Not just now.

Lauren- Can I aks you a question now?

Mr. Logan- Just wait.

Lauren- But can I just aks you a question? I only want to aks you a question. Can’t I aks you a question? I’m just aksing you a question. Can’t I aks you a question?

Mr. Logan- What is it?

Lauren- Are you the Doctor?

Mr. Logan- Doctor Who?

Lise & Lauren- It is you!

(All laugh)

Mr. Logan I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Lauren- You look like Doctor Who though!

Mr. Logan I’m not Doctor Who, I’m your English teacher.

Lauren- I don’t think you are though.

Mr. Logan- Lauren.

Lauren- I think you’re a nine hundred and forty five year old Time Lord.

Mr. Logan- Listen.

Lauren- Did you just pitch up from Mars?

Mr. Logan- Don’t be ridiculous.

Lauren- You know your house, right.

Mr. Logan- What?

Lauren- You know your house?

Mr. Logan- Yeah.

Lauren- Is it bigger on the inside?

Mr. Logan- Be quiet.

Lauren- Have you parked the TARDIS on a meter?

Mr. Logan- Can we please get back to Shakespeare!

Lauren- *fhuh* (sits back into chair)

Mr. Logan- Thank you. So--

Lauren- Do you fancy Billie Piper sir?

Mr. Logan- Right. (stands up) You are the most insolent child I have ever had the misfortune to teach!

Lauren- Thank you.

Mr. Logan- You’re pointless, repetitious and extremely dull.

Lauren- A bit like Shakespeare.

Mr. Logan- You’re not even worthy to mention his name, William Shakes -- William Shakespeare was a genius, you, little madam are definitely not. Now just sit there and keep your mouth shut or I will fail you in this whole module right now!

Lauren- *fhuh* Ammist I bovvered? Ammist I bovvered forsooth?

Mr. Logan- Lauren.

Lauren- Looketh at my face.

Mr. Logan- I don’t--

Lauren- Looketh at my face.

Mr. Logan- Stop it.

Lauren- Is this a bovvered face thou see before thee?

Mr. Logan- Right, I’m calling your parents.

Lauren- Are you disrespecting the house of Cooper?! Are thou calling my mother a pox ridden wench?

Mr. Logan- Enough.

Lauren- Are thou calling my father a goodly rotten apple?

Mr. Logan- Lauren.

Lauren- But he ain’t even a goodly rotten apple.

Mr. Logan- Listen to me.

Lauren- But he ain’t even a goodly rotten apple, though.

Mr. Logan- That’s enough.

Lauren- Face, is –

Mr. Logan- Lauren.

Lauren- --bovvered--

Mr. Logan- Lauren, enough.

Lauren- --Look at it--

Mr. Logan- Enough

Lauren- --Look at it--

Mr. Logan- --Stop, that’s it--

Lauren- But my liege--

Mr. Logan- -- No, stop--

Lauren- --My liege --

Mr. Logan- --Shh, enough--

Lauren- --My liege --

Mr. Logan- -- No--

Lauren- --My liege --

Mr. Logan- --Enough--

Lauren- --Bovverd, face, this, bovvered--

Mr. Logan- --Lauren--

Lauren- *Scottish accent* You take the high road and I’ll take the low. *normal voice* I ain’t even bovvered. I ain’t bovvered. Look, face, bovvered, bovvered, face, bovvered, I ain’t even bovvered. My liege, I be not bovvered forsooth, I be not bovvered. Face, bovvered, I ain’t even bovvered, face, bovvered, Shakespeare, sonnets, I ain’t even bovvered.

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun,
Coral is far more red than her lips' red.
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hair be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damasked, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfurmes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound.
I grant I never saw a goddess go:
My mistress when she walks treads on the ground.
And yet by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.

(Bangs desk) Bite me, alien boy!

Mr. Logan- (pulls out sonic screwdriver and uses it on Lauren, who turns into Rose Tyler action figure) That’s better. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

Lauren/Rose Tyler action figure- I still ain’t bovvered!

Rose: You're not a real human, you're just a bitchy trampoline!!!

Doctor: Bananas are good.