I LOVE YOU MY READERS!!!!!! *3*

This is an interesting story.

Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent.)

Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor: Where does satan come from ?

Student : From … GOD …

Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student :Yes

Professor: So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer.)

Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who created them ?

(Student had no answer.)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smell your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn’t.

(The lecture theatre became very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.

Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?

(The class broke out into laughter. )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.

The students name was Albert Einstein

There was a professor of philosophy who was a deeply committed atheist. His primary goal for one required class was to spend the entire semester attempting to prove that God could not exist. His students were always afraid to argue with him because of his impecable logic.

For 20 years he had taught this class and no one had ever had the courage to go against him. Sure, some had argued in class at times, but no one had ever really gone "against him". No one would go against him because he had a reputation.

At the end of every semester, on the last day, he would say to his class of 300 students, "If there's anyone here who still believes in Jesus, stand up!" In 20 years, no one had ever stood up. They knew what he was going to do next. He would say,"because anyone who does believe in God is a fool". If God existed, he could stop this piece of chalk from dropping to the ground and breaking.

Such a simple task to prove that he is God and yet he can't do it! And every year, he would drop the chalk onto the tile floor of the class room and it would shatter into a hundred pieces. All of the students could do nothing but stop and stare. Most of the students were convinced that God couldn't exist. Certainly, a number of Christians had slipped through, but for 20 years, they had been too afraid to stand up.

Well, a few years ago, there was a freshman who happened to get enrolled in the class. He was a Christian and had heard the stories about this professor. He had to take the class because it was one of the required classes for his major. And he was afraid but for 3 months that semester he prayed every morning that he would have the courage to stand up no matter what the professor said or what the class thought. Nothing they said or did could ever shatter his faith, he hoped.

Finally the day came. The professor said, "If there is anyone here who still believes in God, stand up." The professor and the class of 300 people looked at him, shocked, as he stood up at the back of classroom. The professor shouted, "You fool! If God existed he could keep this piece of chalk from breaking when it hit the ground!" He proceeded to drop the chalk, but as he did, it slipped out of his fingers, off his shirt cuff, onto the pleat of his pants, down his leg, and off his shoe. As it hit the ground, it simply rolled away unbroken. The professor's jaw dropped as he stared at the chalk. He looked up at the young man then ran out of the lecture hall.

The young man who had stood up proceeded to walk to the front of the room and share his faith in Jesus for the next half hour. 300 students stayed and listened as he testified of God's love for them and of His power through Jesus.

Don't start a fight with me; I'm a girl that can read. That also means I can think, which also means I can out think any boy stupid enough to try and fight me. ;)

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies.

You love jeans.

Dogs are better than cats.

It's hilarious when people get hurt.

You've played with/against boys on a team.

Shopping is torture.

Sad movies suck.

You own/ed an X-Box.

You played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.

At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.

You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.

You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.

You watch sports on TV.

Gory movies are cool.

You go to your dad for advice.

You own like a trillion baseball caps.

Baggy pants are cool to wear.

You love to go crazy and not care what people think.

You talk with food in your mouth.

You sleep with your socks on at night--sometimes. (Well, yeah, but they're fuzzy, hot pink socks...)

TOTAL: 13

*A/N: OMG I'm such a duuuuuuuuude!

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/chapstick.

You love to shop.

You wear eyeliner.

You wear the color pink.

You go to your mom for advice.

You consider cheerleading a sport.

You hate wearing the color black.

You like hanging out at the mall.

You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.

You like wearing jewelry.

Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.

Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.

You don't like the movie Star Wars.

You were in gymnastics/dance.

It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.

You smile a lot more than you should.

You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.

You care about what you look like.

You like wearing dresses when you can.

You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.

You love the movies.

You used to play with dolls as little kid.

You like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.

You like being the star of every thing.

TOTAL: 14

*A/N: OMG YAAAAAAY! I at least know now that I am CORRECTLY a girl. >3

PREP

You own a cell phone.

You own something from abercrombie.

You own something from pacsun.

You own something from Hollister.

You own something from American Eagle.

You love/like going to the mall.

You own an iPod/MP3 player.

You love Starbucks.

You have been called a brat. (by my big brother, duh)

You hate buying things that are on sale.

You have more than one house.

total: 4

*A/N: Yay! I'm not a priss!!!!

GOTHIC

Black is one of your favorite colors.

You have thought about death.

You wear chains.

You like heavy metal.

You've shopped at Hot Topic.

You have worn black lipstick.

Your hair was/is dark.

You dislike preps.

You're an athiest/ satanist/agnostic. (I'M A CHRISTIAN!!!!!)

total: 6

*A/N: Well, duh, I knew that. -_-

PUNK

You can skateboard.

You've worn plaid.

You like Converse.

You hate MTV.

You have/had blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair. - (highlights count)

You dislike pink.

You hate/dislike preps.

You wear/wore skateboarding shoes. (What are skateboarding shoes? O.o????)

total: 5

*A/N: totally understandable... >D

GEEK

You love the computer. (FANFICTION MOTHA'*- JK! I don't cuss. :D)

You like Harry Potter.

You are supposed to wear glasses/contacts.

You get straight A's.-(most of the time, not always)

You love/like reading.

You were/are in band.

You don't care what you look like.

You have a curfew.

You always do your homework.

You never miss school unless you're sick.

total: 7

*A/N: FOREVER ALONE.

ATHLETIC

You watch/watched the Superbowl.

You own track shoes or other sports related shoes.

You collect your jerseys.

You have a wall or shelf dedicated to your trophies / awards.

You have posters or plaques of famous athletes.

Your garage consists of sports equiptment.

You belong/belonged to a school team.

You are going/did go to a sports summer camp.

You have a specific number.

total: 5

*A/N: Wow. A bit more than expected.

HARDCORE//SCENE

You like loud music.

You love/loved the Ninja Turtles.

You never walk anywhere.

You wear slip-on shoes. (do flip-flops count? O.o)

You wear/wore Vans.

You like the band panic! at the disco.

You wear band t-shirts.

People have called you a freak and meant it.

You love to "hardcore" dance.

Your hair has been died more than 1 color--dark red, orange red, black, blue, and purple

TOTAL: 6

*A/N: Wow! Way more than expected!!!

NEW HUMOR:

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

Be a loser! Because being cool is soo overrated!

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

Who ever said that words don't hurt never got hit by a dictionary.

Don't let your mind wander. It's too little to be let out alone.

The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

NEW LOVE:

You know you're in love when the hardest thing to do is say goodbye.

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.

STORIES TO DO:

Lie (sequel to Secret)

The Mild Misadventures of Hana Martha Wayne (Damian and Irey Wayne's daughter)

STORIES ON HAITUS:

Brothers of the Bird

Where Do Babies Come From

Month one

Mommy I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favourite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy I am okay. I am in Jesus’ arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?

ME

by: Scotty1609

I have Tourette Syndrome. I shake sometimes, I grunt, I blink.

You tease me.

I have ADD. I day-dream, I doodle, I hum.

You get mad at me for not listening.

I have depression. I cry. I cry. I cry.

You don't hear me.

I have Tourette Syndrome.

No, I don't spout out random cusswords. And, no, people who have Tourettes are not 'spazzes', thank-you-very-much, some kid from my science class.

I have ADD.

No, I'm not high-and-mighty. And, no, people who have ADD are not 'too-good-not-to-listen', thank-you-very-much, people in general.

I have depression.

No, I don't cut myself. And, no, people who have depression don't wear all black and are always crying and drawing pictures of blood and gore.

I am a teen. I am me.

So deal with it.

My name is Scotty1609. You can call me Scotty. (call me Scotland, and I will rip your eyes out and shove them up your nostrils, down your throat, and out you butt, only to repeat the cycle)

My favorite color(s): Blue, Black, White, and Silver

My favorite cartoon(s): JLU, YJ, and Batman

My favorite superhero(s): Robin (& Nightwing!!!!!!), Batman, Flash (W.W.- JLU-verse), Flash (B.A.), Martian Manhunter, Green Arrow, Speedy (& Arsenal & R.A.), and Black Canary

My favorite villain(s): Joker, Poison Ivy

My favorite animal(s): Snake, Shark, Lion, Tiger (anything dangerous!!!!)

My favorite book(s): DragonKeeper Series (Donita K. Paul), the Bible, Dragons in Our Midst (Brian Davis)

My favorite T.V. show(s): Psych, Criminal Minds, Animal Cops Houston, All in America With Larry the Cable Guy

My favorite movie(s): Batman Begins, Far From Home, Tangled, Night at the Museum, the Borne Series, the Soloist

If You Are A CyberBully:

STOP. You might not even know you're a CyberBully. But, if you make fun of someone online, or egg someone else on to bully someone online, YOU ARE A CYBERBULLY. So stop it. People are scared to say how much it hurts, how much they wish you'd stop. So, I'm saying it.

S.T.O.P.

People are scared to say that it hurts. People have commited suicide because of people like you: CyberBullies.

If You Are Being CyberBullied:

It's okay to admit it hurts. It is okay to admit you need help. YOU ARE NOT A FREAK. CyberBullying is common- as terrible as it is. If someone is hurting you, TELL someone. Tell your parents/guardian to start. Then, tell your favorite teacher. Then, your principle. Then, your best friend.

Then, tell the Bully to stop.

Don't bully back if you are being CyberBullied. Because, then, you are the same thing as what you hate.

If you are being CyberBullied, STICK UP FOR YOURSELF.

As cliche as it sounds, the masses will rise. People WILL back you up. But, even if they don't, let the Bully know that what they are doing is terrible and that they NEED TO STOP.

And, if you are thinking about taking your life, DONT!!! You are a beautiful soul. You are you. No one else can be you. You are another soul, another heart, another life, another brain in your twon, city, community, another soul, another heart, another life and another brain in your WORLD.

NO ONE CAN BE YOU FOR YOU.

God created you to be YOU.

YOU ARE NOT A FREAK.

You are a beautiful person, and your light cannot be extinguished. Words hurt, they do. But YOUR LIFE is worth so, SO much more than those words. TRUST ME.

TRUST GOD.

If you kill yourself, you are stealing away another life that can change the world, another brain that can help the world, another soul that can inspire the world, another heart that can beat for the world.

STICK UP FOR YOURSELF AND FOR OTHERS THAT ARE BEING CYBERBULLIED.

-- God bless you all,

Scotty.

A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a slut. No-one knows she was raped at 13. People call a girl fat. No-one knows she has a serious disease which causes her to be over weight. People call an old man ugly. No-one knows he had a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war. Repost this if you're against bullying and stereotyping. 95% of you won't. "

To describe myself in twenty quotes (from my life):

"You are the stupidest smart person i've ever met!" (thanks, my BFF)

"Yeah. You're booksmart, not street-smart." (every other day)

"Don't go to Vegas. You suck at dealing cards." (While playing the family game of Uno)

"There was a little girl with a curl, right in the middle of her forehead- when she was good, she was very good, when she was bad, she was HORRID!!!" (im a drama queen- this quote is also an inside joke)

"You're Artsie-Fartsie" (i have a 15-year-old older brother. nuff's said.)

"You look nothing like your brother!" (V)

"You look exactly like your brother!" (um... yeah.)

"I'm not scared about your brother driving- I'm saving up for you." (thanks, mom.)

"Yeah, I'm gonna be busting you outta' jail for speeding one day." (I WANNA GO FAST!!!! Talladega Knights movie reference, peoples...)

"You should be a teacher- you're good with kids." (i work every other friday night at my church with preschoolers.)

"With your age, media, and talent, I'd say you can get 120 for every face you draw." (My art teacher gave me an estimate of how much money I can get- and he was dead serious.)

"You do realize that it's off?" (so many things...)

"OMG! What the HECK ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!" (same as above comment.)

"Yes, when you get to college, you can get a nose-ring and blue highlights- but NO MOTORCYCLE." (overprotective parents... blech.)

"Yeah, so that's how you use a tampon." (tee hee- long story involving five good friends and a cabin- not even kidding.)

"Well, you placed my thongs all around the room, so i dumped your suitcase out on your bunk." (same cabin, different friend.)

"Puppy Kibble." (that's my dad's nick-name for me. suffice to say, i've not had very good expiriences with Boxers and Jack Russells...)

"For that, you get 5000 points for your team!" (same cabin, same camp, and, you don't want to know... * shudder * it involves a corn-dog, ultimate frisby, dirt, and puke.)

"You have or haven't seen a therapist?" (you've read my stories, right?)

"God has big plans for you." (i know he does- with all the stupid stuff i've done, he's kept me alive for SOME reason! :P)

Children don't care whether a person is a girl or a boy, black or white, pretty or ugly, different or the same. They will be friends simply because they get along. Children don't care about politics or religion. And yet they say adults are wiser.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, when I grew up I was BLACK, when I'm sick I'm BLACK, when I go into the sun I'm BLACK, when I'm cold I'm BLACK, when I die I'll beBLACK. But you sir, when you're born you're PINK, when you grow up you're WHITE, when you're sick, you're GREEN, when you go in the sun you turnRED, when you're cold you turn BLUE and when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?

30 things to do in an elevator!

1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead while muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there."

4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go 'plink' at the bottom.

9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no, not now, bleeped motion sickness!"

11. Meow occasionally.

12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to the other passengers 'through' it.

16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"

17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.

18. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push the red buttons.

19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your 'personal space.'

21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

23. Wear 'X-Ray Specs' and leer suggestively at other passengers.

24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.

25. Make farm animal noises

26. Start talking to the wall

27. Carry a stuffed animal with you and talk to it

28. Carry a small object and start petting it while saying "My precious." in a demonic voice then laugh like a maniac

29. When one person is on ask them if they want to pet your cat and then purr at them.

30. Rip your clothes and stumble on to the elevator and tell them that you just escaped from the mental ward and then laugh like a maniac

Me: Can I use the bathroom?

Teacher: I don't know, can you?

Me: When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher, you would know that. Oh well, i guess I'll do it your way. May I go to the bathroom?

Teacher:...

if you can raed tihs, cnorgadluatoins! you are one of the samrt peploe who dno't need to look at the wrod idniviudlaly, but as a wolhe! Olny samrt poelpe can raed tihs bceuase tehy are good raedres. Msot good raedres can raed wrdos wehn the frist and lsat ltetres of the wrod are the smae, and tehre are the smae auomnt of lteters in the wrod...if you could read that, copy and paste this onto your profile

ALL ABOUT GIRLS: By, Scotty1609 ('BY' means I put it together w/diff quotes.)

Everyone thinks a girl's dream is to find the perfect guy... pfffttttt! Yeah right! Our dream is to eat without getting fat!

Okay, now I'm going to ask a question millions of girls all over the world want to know... boys, when did it become a high fashion to show us your stupid ugly boxers?!

Hi, I’m a girl. I don’t spend hours on hair and make-up in the morning. I don’t always wear the color pink. I don’t flirt with every guy I meet. I don’t think it’s cool to fail a test. I thank you when you compliment me instead of denying it and putting myself down. Yes, I exist. Have fun meeting all the other girls who do the exact opposite.

I'm sorry I don't have glamorous hair, perfect skin, the straightest teeth, or the best body. I'm sorry I don't doll myself up all the time and that I wear those baggy shirts around the house. I'm sorry that I like to eat junk food once in a while and I'm sorry that I'm not a fitness guru. I'm sorry I'm not like some of the other girls. But the funniest thing of all is that I'm not sorry at all.

Things like these are what keep me with my head held high. Yes, I am diagnosed depressed. No, I don't hate the world.

INSPIRATIONAL

Keep saying those words. My head is held high. You wanna bring me down? I dare you to try.

People will hate you, rate you, shake you, and break you. But how strong you stand is what makes you.

I'm sorry I don't have glamorous hair, perfect skin, the straightest teeth, or the best body. I'm sorry I don't doll myself up all the time and that I wear those baggy shirts around the house. I'm sorry that I like to eat junk food once in a while and I'm sorry that I'm not a fitness guru. I'm sorry I'm not like some of the other girls. But the funniest thing of all is that I'm not sorry at all.

Hi, I’m a girl. I don’t spend hours on hair and make-up in the morning. I don’t always wear the color pink. I don’t flirt with every guy I meet. I don’t think it’s cool to fail a test. I thank you when you compliment me instead of denying it and putting myself down. Yes, I exist. Have fun meeting all the other girls who do the exact opposite.

Teenagers: the most misunderstood people who are treated like children but are expected to act like adults

You have enemies? Good. That means you stood up for something sometime in your life.

I'm original and unique. I'm my own person and if you don't like me... screw you. I'm awesome.

I love irony. You know what's ironic? How the people who know the least about you have the most to say.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

I'm sorry you don't like me. I'm sorry you think I suck. But most of all, I'm sorry I don't give a crap.

Emotional without all the emo... it's called being human.

Children don't care whether a person is a girl or a boy, black or white, pretty or ugly, different or the same. They will be friends simply because they get along. Children don't care about politics or religion. And yet they say adults are wiser.

The difficulty is not so great as to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for.

Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead.

HUMOR

I dream of a better tomorrow--when chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

I dont have a short attention span, i just...oh look, a kitty!

I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous.

How is it possible to have a civil war?

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Guns don't kill people. People kill people. Well I think guns help because if you just stood around saying "BANG" it wouldn't do much.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

When.I.Read.Stuff.Like.This.The.Voice.In.My.Head.Takes.Pauses.

It doesn’t matter what it is, it’s automatically cool if it glows in the dark!

Some people were dropped as a baby…. You were clearly thrown at a wall.

Every time I see the word “Explain” on a test, I die a little inside.

Dear Teacher, I understand you have to talk to the person in front of me but could please remove your fat butt from my face? Thanks.

According to parents, we're too young for love, too old for fun, too smart to play dumb and too immature for certian movies. It's no wonder teens are so rebellious! There's nothing else to do!

I wish life was like a musical. and in the middle of math, i could just jump out of my seat, throw up my papers and start singing. And then the whole math class would pull this dance routine out of their butt, and we would all know the song we were spontainiously making up... then sit down like nothing happened.

No matter how old you are, no matter how much of a ganster you think you are, if a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it.

Learn the rules so you know how to properly break them

Dear McDonald's Cashier, Stop looking at me like that. Last time i checked, there were no age limits for Happy Meals. Sincerely, Don't Forget The Toy

Flying is easy, just throw yourself at the ground... and miss.

It's a beautiful day! Now watch some idiot screw it up -_-

If you're gonna embarrass yourself, do it right!

Get the facts first, you can distort them later.

Is it just me or does everything seem funnier when you’re suppose to be quiet?

Don't steal. The government hates the competition.

If at first you don't succeed, change the rules.

Tell the truth and run.

Smile! It makes them wonder what you're up to.

Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.

Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye mad.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts.

If you can't beat them, join them. Then take over.

Education is important. School, however, is another matter.

BRAINLESS STUFF THAT YOU SHOULD PROBABLY JUST SKIP OVER

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..じしf,)ノ

This is Kitty. I got him from someone else. Copy and paste Kitty into your signature to help him gain world domination!

SUPPORT THE KITTY!

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Hetalia: Axis Powers Fanfiction Number Pairing Quiz

00. Randomly list 12 of your favorite characters.

1) America

2) Canada

3) England

4) France (J MICHAEL TATUM- nuff said, betch. XD)

5) LEICHTENSTEIN

6) Sealand

7) GERMANY

8) Romano

9) PRUSSIA

10) Belarus (XD)

11) Austria

12) Sweden

01. Have You Ever Read a 6/11 Fanfic?

No. Never even heard of one. It'd be an awk pairing...

02. Do you think 4 is hot? How hot?

France is the definition of smexiness. Plus, J. Michael Tatum. Nuff said.

03. What would happen if 12 got 8 Pregnant?

Finland would have a hissy fit.

04. Can you recall any fics about 9? Can you recommend any?

YES! This one called 'Ribbon'. It's a Leichtenstein/Prussia and EXTREMELY fluffy! >3

05. Would 2 and 6 make a good couple? Why or why not?

No. I don't go for incest. -_-

06. Do you like 5/9 or 5/10?

LEICHTENSTEIN AND PRUSSIA FTW!!!! And: Leichtenstein and Belarus... -_- Friendship fics are cute, but yuri creeps me out... NO OFFENSE TO YURI LOVERS!!!! It's just... wierd to me...

07. What would happen if 7 walked in on 12 and 2 having sex?

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! He would blush, walk out slowly and shut the door silently, then probably have a nosebleed and go read some of his hardcore porn. XD

08. Make a summary for a 3/10 fic.

Belarus is tired of Russia not loving her back, so she falls into the arms of a gentleman willing to help her bounce back. But England never even dreamed of falling in love... and especially not with a masochist and homicidal maniac.

09. Is there such a thing as a 1/8 fluff story?

There CAN be such thing. I can imagine America struggling to help Romano come to grips with Germany and Italy's friendship.

"THAT POTATO BASTARD-"

"Yoooooo, dude! Calm down! Potatoes are awesome!... or at least french fries are..."

O.o I WANT IT NOW!!!!!!

10. What title would you give a 7/12 Hurt/Comfort fic?

Stoicism

11. What kind of plot would you use if you wanted 4 to de-flower 1?

I can totally see that, just because France is a pedo-bear. I can imagine colony!America being raped by france and Iggy walking in and being all "WTF!?!?!" and cursing France. XD

12. Do any of your friends read 7 slash fics?

No duhr, Sherlock.

13. Do any of your friends read 3 het fics?

I don't think so, but my fav pairings with him are fem!America and Leichtenstein...

14. Do any of your friends draw or rp as 11?

No.

15. Would anyone you know write 2/4/5?

NOBODY IS GOING TO DO THAT TO MY BABIES!!! Leichtenstein and Canada are too innocent for that perverted French man!!! TT_TT

16. What might 10 scream in a moment of passion?

"BRUDER Y U NO LOVE ME?!?!?!?!?"

17. If you wrote a song fic about 8, what song would it be?

Anything angsty. Romano is just like that.

18. If you wrote a 1/6/12 fic, what would the warning be?

I don't go for that crap -_-... but it would be incest. O.o

19. What would a good pick up line be for 10 to use on 2?

"You. Me. Bed. Now."

20. When was the last time you read a fic about 5?

Today. XD SHE'S MY BABBBBY!!!!

21. What's 6's Super-Kink-Secret??

Chains. O.o

22. Would 11 shag 9? Drunk or Sober?

Yes. Sober.

23. If 3 and 7 got together, who would top?

Germany. Duh.

24. "1 and 9 are in a happy relationship until 9 suddenly runs off with 4. 1, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with 11 and a brief, unhappy affair with 12, then, follows the wise advice of 5 and finds true love with 3."

What title would you give this fic? Name one person who should write it.

OKAY! Lotsa names, sooooo...

"Fem!America and Prussia are in a happy relationship until Prussia runs off. Fem!America, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Austria (O.o) and a brief, unhappy affair with Sweden, then, follows the wise advice of Leichstenstein and finds true love with England."

>3)

I would call it: "Don't Cry, Love". (Iggy comforting Amelia! >3

IDK. A fan of fem!America/England...?

25. How would you feel if 7/8 was cannon?

O.o...

26. What would 12 and 1 be like in a relationship?

NEVER.

27. How about 10 and 1?

Chains and rope. Nuff' said.

28. 2 and 10. Totally crack or totally canon?

Hrm... Probably Crack, b/c Bel is stuf on Rus

29. Is 4 het or slash better?

I don't really read slash, but I have NEVER heard of France het... and it would suck. >3

30. Have you ever read fanfiction of 5 and 11?

Yes. It's a cute pairing b/c of the awk!

31. Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is after 8 and 9!

Why was Sealand afraid of Germany? Because Germany is after Romano and Prussia!

Tru dat, brotha.

32. If 8 was to cosplay, what would they be?

Ironman.

33. How many beers would 1 have to chug to have a go at 12?

Not many, cuz Alfie can't hold his alcohol.

34. Would 3 make a good couple with 6? Or a better couple with 2?

NEITHER!!! >:(

35. 6 and 7 have to go on a fishing trip together. Would they end up getting "distracted" halfway through?

Not in THAT way, but Germany would constantly be saving Sealand's butt. Cute! It's a crack idea, but I'd like to see a fic of this! XD

36. Pick a Disney film to represent 10 and 2.

Beauty and the Beast, with Bel as the beast.

37. If 3 and 11 are doing s & m, who's the sadist?

What's s & m?

38. Pick a song to describe a 7/12 fic.

Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off. Why? B/c. XD

39. Is there any evidence for 4/2?

No duhr, Sherlock.

40. How hot would 7/3 be?

O.O

41. If 7 walked in on 2 and 8 performing, shall we say, "interesting" activities, what would their reaction be?

Ludwig: o.o...

42. What's 1's secret kink?

Slushies. :D

43. How about 12?

Anything to tie Finny to the bed.

44. Or perhaps 10?

Knives... o.O

45. What title would you assign a 1/3/5 threesome?

I don't like threesomes. -_- Buuuuuut... "Vash Is In a Murdersome Mood." I wonder why!!!!

46. How about 2/4/6?

No.

47. Or even 7/8/9?

No. I don't go for incest or threesomes.

49. So. 1 has a relationship with 6, but secretly wants 2. 6 knows this, and breaks up with 1 to go pursue 3, who's with 11. 11 is also with 10, however, who's cheating on 11 with 8. 8 finds out, and cheats with 7, who is, in turn, cheating on 4. 1 pursues 2, who just broke up with 5, who's now after 9. 1 gives up on this, and ends up with 12, while 6 finally ends up with 3.

So, America has a relationship with Sealand but wants Canada. Sealand knows this and breaks up with fem!Ameriac to go pursue England, who's with Austria. Austria is also with Belarus, however, who's cheating on Austria with Romano. Romano finds out, and cheats with Germany, who is, in turn, cheating on France. America pursues Canada, who just broke up with Leichtenstein, who's now after Prussia. America gives up on this, and ends up with Sweden, while Sealand finally ends up with England.

O.o

Just... no.

50. Title a 6/7 western fic. Yes, western. As in, cowboys, desperados, and such.

"Babysitting Billy the Brat"

51. If 8/1 became canon, how would you react?

O.o

52. If 2 and 9 became a couple, who would top?

Prussia.

53. What if it was 3 and 9?

Prussia.

54. 4 and 9?

Still Prussia.

55. Do you know anyone who reads 9 slash?

Just about everyone.

56. Or 2 het?

YAY! Canada is cute with Ukraine. >3

57. Write me a little ficcy for 5/9.

"G-Gilbert..." Lily groaned as the German trailed kisses down her neck. He stopped right on her pulse, and Lily could feel him smiling into her skin. Slowly, he licked her pulse. Lily let out a loud cry, and Gilbert grinned before sucking on the spot tightly, pulling the younger nation to straddle his lap on the chair in which he sat. She moaned, and Gilbert pulled away to see a perfectly shaped circle turning a brownish-purple. He grinned.

"You're mine now, leibling. I marked you."

She giggled softly, kissing his forehead tenderly. "I was always yours, leibste."

He groaned, smiling. "Oh, I like it when you speak German to me."

She giggled again. "Kuss mich, Dummkopf."

He frowned. "Don't call me Dummkopf."

She blushed. "Alright then, O awesome king of mine."

He grinned. "Much better-"

"LILY! I'm home!"

Lily's eyes grew wide. "Verdammt!" she hissed, pulling Gilbert up by his collar. Lily was oddly strong for her diminutive frame and young age. She opened her wardrobe, throwing the German in and shutting the door just as Vash walked in. He frowned when he caught a glimpse of silver in the wardrobe, but ignored it.

"Lily, I have pastries-" he froze, eyes growing wide. "What the Hell is on your neck?"

Lily winced, trying to cover up the spot with the collar of her dress. "It's nothing-"

"Is that a knutschfleck?!?!"

Before Lily could react, Vash threw open the doors to her wardrobe, revealing a shirtless Prussian with a small, nervous smile. "Heeeeey, Switzy- ACK!"

The nation was barely able to avoid the bullets send his way as he fled the mansion. "I'll see you later, leibling," he called to the blushing and waving Lily.

"YOU WILL NOT, YOU SCHIEBE GESICHT!!!!"

Hope you liked it! ;)

58. Write a possible summary for a fanfiction involving 2/9/7.

Again, I don't go for incest, buuuut...

'Germans like their beer, which becomes painfully obvious to poor Matthiew in the morning when he wakes up between the two of the people he most feared. "How much did I have last night?"

59. Quick. 3 and 7 are cosplaying. What as?

England is Harry Potter, DUH, and Germany can be Draco Malfoy. XP

60. Have you ever seen Fanart of 11 and 12?

No, and I hope not to ever in my life...

List 10 Random Characters!

1. Matthew Williams

2. Vash Zwingli

3. Alfred F. Jones

4. Ludwig Beildschmit

5. Gilbert Beildschmit

6. Lili Vogel

7. Arthur Kirkland

8. Antonio Fernandez

9. Francis Bonnefoy

10. Feliciano Vargas

What would you do if:

Number 1 woke you up in the middle of the night?

I'd be all like, "WAZ WRONG MATTIE U HAVE NIGHTMARE?!?!?!?"

Number 3 waked into the bathroom while you were showering?

O.o... "GET THE * OUT!!!"

Number 5 cooked you dinner?

I don't care for wurst, and I'm too young to drink beer... -_-*

Number 6 was lying next to you on the beach, sleeping?

So? We're both girls, and she's little. She's probably cold.

Number 7 suddenly confessed to be part of your family?

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Number 8 got into the hospital somehow?

Sexually harassed Romano again.

Number 9 made fun of your friends?

Kick his butt. :D

Number 10 ignored you all the time?

Make him pasta!!!

Two serial killers are hunting you down. What will 1 do?

Beat them with his hockey stick. :D

You're on vacation with 2 and manage to break your leg. What does 2 do?

Freaks out a bit, but then calms down and splints it, then contacts a hospital, all the while teaching Lili that I'm a bad example of coordination.

It's your birthday. What does 3 give you?

A hamburger.

You're stuck in a house that's on fire. What does 4 do?

Carries me out in his strong, masculine arms... *sigh*

You're about to do something that'll make you feel extremely embarrassed. What will 5 do?

Laugh and videotape it.

You're about to marry Number 10. What's 1's reaction?

"Congradulations..."

"Thanks! Um... who are you again?"

"I'm Canadia..." D:

You got dumped by someone. How will 7 cheer you up?

Bake me scones... -_-

You compete in a tournament. How does 9 support you?

Makes a banner that says, "You can do it, Angleterre!"

You can't stop laughing. What will 10 do?

Cry, terrified.

Number 1 is all you've ever dreamed of. Why?

He's sensitive, sweet, and kind.

You're dating 3 and he/she introduces you to his/her parents. Would you get along?

Probably not with 'Daddy', because I'd kick his butt too often for being a perv... But I'd get along well with 'Mommy' for kicking 'Daddy's' butt so much. :D

Will 5 and 6 ever kiss?

OTP ALERT! OTP ALERT!

me: O.o... YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Number 6 appears to be a player, breaking many hearts. What do you do?

Confront her, because she's probably doing it to be noticed by her crush. *coughcoughGILBERTcoughcough*

You had a haircut and 7 can't stop looking at you. What goes on in your mind?

ohmahgosh he's looking at me... *MOE!*

Number 8 thinks he/she'll never have a girl/boyfriend. What will you tell him/her.

"Nope, probably not." :D

Hetalia meme challenge!

1. Your favorite character: PRUSSIA!

2. Your least favorite character: If I HAD to pick, I'd say Canada. I don't hate him, he's just annoyingly submissive.

3. Character you'd date: GermanyGermanyGermanyGermanyGermanyGermanyGermany...

4. Character you'd like to go shopping with: POLAND!

5. Character you'd like as your child: Liechtenstein. SO CUUUUTE!!!

6. Character who would probably be your rival: Romano. He's everybody's rival.

7. Character you have most in common with: Italy. We're both crazy, both love pasta, and are both artists!!!

8. Character you look like the most: Hungary

9. Character you'd bring home to your parents: Germany... maybe England...

10. Character you'd never bring home to your parents: France, Spain, Prussia, Denmark...

11. Character you'd become best friends with: France, Spain, Prussia, Denmark...

12. Character with your favorite voice/seiyuu: Germany. XDDDDD

13. Character you'd go camping with: Germany or Sweden...

14. Character you wouldn't mind being roommates with: Hungary or Ukraine...

15. Character you'd want to cook for you: Italy or France!!!

16. Character you wouldn't mind prancing naked for you: *blushes* none... that's awkward...

17. Your OTP: PRUSSIAxLIECHTENSTEIN!!!!!!!!!! (and Nyo!AmericaxEngland)

18. Character you wouldn't mind having as a parent: Sweden

19. Character you'd like to go karaoke with: France, Spain, Prussia, Denmark...

20. Character you wouldn't mind having as your butler/maid: Hungary

21. Five characters you'd invite to a party: France, Spain, Prussia, Denmark... hrm... and America. :D

22. Another OTP of yours: Nyo!ItalyxGermany! *MOE!!!*

23. Your favorite character of the opposite gender: America or Italy...

24. Character with your favorite uniform/outfit: Denmark

25. Character who would be your band-mate if you were in a band: PRUSSIA!

26. Character you wouldn't mind having as your boss: America! :D

27. Character you wouldn't want to run into in a dark alley: Turkey... *shivers*

28. Character you'd want personified into a dog: GERMANY!!!!

29. Character you'd want personified into a cat: JAPAN!!!!

30. Character you'd want to cosplay as: NYO!GERMANY!!!!!!

Which Robin are you most like?

Dick Grayson (1st Robin)

You are in gymnastics/know some acrobatic moves

You are flexible

You love the circus

You have lost someone precious to you in death

You are caring and kind

You are very intelligent

Your first language was not English

You live with one parent/guardian

You say “Holy _” a lot

You have your own catchphrase.

You are a leader

You have had many girlfriends/boyfriends

You have quit a team before

You have made a name for yourself

You are a very positive person.

You have blue eyes

You have black hair

TOTAL: 9

Jason Todd (2nd Robin)

You are male

You own a gun

You have failed at something

You have had a near-death experience

You are headstrong and moody (sometimes...)

You make rash decisions

You have inner turmoil no one understands

You have a grudge against someone

You aren’t afraid to get your hands dirty

You are out for revenge

You prefer to work alone

You have blue eyes

You have red hair

TOTAL: 6

Tim Drake (3rd Robin)

You are male

You come from a wealthy family

You idolize someone

You have lost someone close to you in death

You think things through

You are intelligent and quick to think

You are good a figuring out puzzles

You get good grades (most of the time...)

You fight with your younger sibling(s) a lot

You lose your temper easily sometimes

You are somewhat anti-social

You prefer not to show your emotions

You don't like to show off

Your favorite color is red

You have blue eyes

You have black hair

TOTAL: 5

Stephanie Brown (4th Robin)

You are female

You don’t get along with your father

You father has been in jail

You are impulsive

You have dated someone from your same team (job/sports/etc.)

You always feel you have something to prove

You have had a child

You change your appearance often

You can play with the boys just as easily as with the girls

You have seriously thought about faking your own death

You have blue eyes

You have blond hair

TOTAL: 4

Damian Wayne (5th Robin)

You are male

You belong to a wealthy blood-line

You are short

You are mature for your age

You are always angry easily annoyed

You fight a lot, whether verbaly or physically

You have been called a demon or mean

You curse a lot

You live with only your father

You like cats

You have your own catchphrase

You have blue eyes

You have black hair

TOTAL: 4

SCORE:

Dick Grayson (1st Robin): 9

Jason Todd (2nd Robin): 6

Tim Drake (3rd Robin): 5

Stephanie Brown (4th Robin): 4

Damian Wayne (5th Robin): 4

... well then... YAY! I'M MOST LIKE DICK!!!!!!! XDDDD *fangirling*