27.2.13

Hello. This is Emily (my name oddly enough), back from the dead.

I went on a hiatus that was 100% accidental. Okay, make that around 10%. The other ninety was this odd thing named P. R. O. C. R. A. S. T. I. N. A. T. I. O. N. That's a long word. Especially when typed like that.

Anyways, I'mma trying to catch up with my writing and I'm gonna be revising some of my stories and all that lark, so, for now, I think I'm gonna go back to my hole...

Sarcastic jerk with a sparkling personality and a low tolerance for Homo Sapiens.

Disclaimer: I own barely anything I write. Except for the plot. And a few characters. And settings. And...

Favorite Books:

Gallagher Girls - Ally Carter

Harry Potter - J.K Rowling

Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins

CHERUB - Robert Muchamore

Ways to Live Forever - Sally Nicholls

The Fault in Our Stars - John Green

Favorite pairings:

Zammie

Drarry

Destiel

Johnlock

Merthur

25 Reasons To Thank My Mother:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

(\_/)
(O.o)
/o o\O

Join the dark side, Mwuhahahaha!!
(we have cookies)
This is Bunny
Copy Bunny to your Personal
text to help him achieve
world domination.

We’re always together, we’re one of a kind, 3 words describe us - 'partners in crime'.

Anagrams.
Whoever came up with these either has too much spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters you get:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters you get:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the you get letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the you get letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the you get letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the you get letters:
HE BUGS GORE For anyone that didn't know this is the guy that ran against him the first time he ran for president.

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the you get letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the you get letters:
CASH LOST IN 'EM

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the you get letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the you get letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the you get letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the you get letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the you get letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the you get letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

MOTHER IN LAW

When you rearrange the you get letters:

WOMAN HITLER

TOM CRUISE

When you rearrange the you get letters:

SO I'M CUTER

CONVERSATION

When you rearrange the you get letters:

VOICES RANT ON

THE TITANIC DISASTER

When you rearrange the you get letters:

DEATH, IT STARTS IN ICE

Bella: You're pale white and ice cold. I know what you are. Edward: Say it...Out loud...Say it! Bella: A Snowman..

You: Teacher! Teacher: Yes? You: Can I ask you something?Teacher: Sure, go on. You: Would you punish me for something that I didn't do at all? Teacher: Of course not. You: Good, I didn't do my homework

I've been in 2 milleniums, 2 centuries, 3 decades, seen the 1st black president of the USA, the falling of the twin towers, Bin Landen killed, a royal weding between at prince and commoner and the end of the world. I'm not even 20 yet

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we were born... and only stops when we take exams.

"I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse."

"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous- everyone hasn't met me yet."

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."

"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."

"If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?"

"I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"There is one thing my wife and I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that."

"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash."

"The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits."