*4/14/13: Hey guys, I know I've completed all my stories and I informed you that I'll be on hiatus for awhile. And that's still true, it's just taking a little longer than expected especially since it's been hard to find inspiration. Hopefully when Season 4 premieres I'll be able to get some of that Lomille drive back and continue writing the stories in progress I have right now and eventually post them as well. As always, hope you are all doing well as the nicer weather sets in and love you all.

-xoxo happygirl57

Twitter: lovesintheair57

Tumblr: alwaysdreaming57.tumblr.com

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Hey guys!!!! I've developed a love for writing and I've always loved reading so... here I am. :) I'm pretty crazy once you get to know me. Lol. :)

I love to swim, dance, play soccer, draw, read and of course, write. I love Big Time Rush with all my heart. I think they're sweethearts and I don't know what I'd do without them. No matter how horrible things get, I can write about BTR and drown myself in their music. Katelyn Tarver too. They help me get through everyday and I just love them.

Clearly based on my stories, I love Lomille and Jendall. I love it. I have no love life but that's perfectly fine with me as long as I can live out my fantasies in their relationships. Haha. :) But most of my stories are packed with angst, hurt/comfort, romance, friendship and I'm still working on this one but... drama.

To everyone who has ever reviewed, favorited, alerted my stories, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! I love you all so very much and even though I can't reply to anonymous reviews, I reply to everyone else. Please don't be afraid to talk to me, I reply to everything everyday... All of you, you've given me something I've never had before. Confidence. I was so afraid when I first posted a story- whether anyone like it or not, what they would think of it- and you guys were amazing. You have given me confidence and allowed me to continue writing knowing that you were at my side. That' amazing and I really can't thank you enough.

How many of you have seen Rachel's Challenge? It's the most touching thing ever and I cried. If you don't know what it is, look it up of Google. I ACCEPT RACHEL'S CHALLENGE!!!!!! Do you?

This is my "attempt" at CheekyBrunette's challenge. Mine is nowhere as good as hers, but go check out her stories- they're awesome!

She's pressured to be perfect. Smart. That's all she needs to be to please anyone. It doesn't matter if that's not what she wants. All that matters is she studies to no end, becoming smarter. But she does as she's told, because if they are happy, she is.

It doesn't matter that they think her dreams are pointless, that she should do as she's told. They want her to grow up and become a doctor or even a pharmacist. It doesn't matter that she want to work with children as a teacher, it only matters what they think.

Her friends see her as someone who always tries to over-achieve. It doesn't matter that she's forced to study grades ahead. All that matters is that she's pleasing others.

Who cares when she gets a low A, it's not a "Good job" but a "Why not a 100?" When it's a hundred, it's always, "Was there any extra credit?". It doesn't matter that she doesn't love school, she tries her best at everything.

Her friends see her as a coward. Always scared to take the risk, never breaking the rules. It doesn't matter that she has never gotten in trouble by anyone other than her parents, that she's scared of them.

They don't know that she takes everything to heart. That she has trouble forgetting mean words and words of hatred. She can still remember all the people who teased her, she never forgot. They joke around, insulting her, but they don't know it bothers her so much that it keeps her up at night.

It doesn't matter that her relatives treat her differently because she's the older sibling. They expect her to know everything, do everything even when she's not told to. So why does it matter anymore? It's not like people will like her for who she really is. She'll always be known as the smart girl who everyone likes. But, that's not her.

She's never herself. She's always what everyone else wants to be, never herself. She tries hard to please everyone, but it's hard. Being smart, athletic, sweet. It's hard to be what everyone else wants her to be. But she's making everyone else happy and looking around at the happy faces, she feels happy as well.

The girl walks past a mirror, briefly glancing at the reflection, not even getting the chance to look at the whole reflection. But, what she does see is me. I am that girl.

Peace-Love-Star-Girl:

There was this girl I saw one day. She was hard to understand. She seemed tough, yet over-sensitive. Quiet, yet very, very loud. She was pretty and ugly, sweet and sour, nice and mean, and funny and annoying, all at the same time. She seemed to be opinionated, but when you tried to work a point of view out of her, her lips were sealed.

Everyone judges her. She's the super smart girl, who finishes the whole week's math homework on Monday and always gets A's. But, she's also the drama queen, who takes everything too seriously. Sometimes you hear of her as the rebel, who always does things different, when in reality, everyone has already done what she does. She's be called Ke$ha, for sparkly converse, or sporty, for wearing sweats, tennis shoes, and no makeup when she felt tired. She is also seen as the artist or musician, always creative and imaginative. Everyone knows she isn't the sportiest, but she's o.k. with that. If people are lucky, they will see her as a writer, but that's the closest to her true self that even her best friends have seen of her.

She tries to keep herself guarded. She tries to be strong, unbreakable, with guarded eyes, and a guarded heart and soul. She doesn't even fully trust her two closest friends, because she did once, and they've both betrayed her. But sometimes her cover, her protective shield, slips and you can see the raw emotions swirling in her dark chocolate eyes.

None of her friends try to truly understand her. If they actually tried, they would know that she's a dreamer, someone who wants to be able to change the world with just one word written by her pen. She wants to be someone who can make a difference, not just a random face in the crowd. But, no one in the whole world knows this side of her. The real girl is buried under the only half-real personality she has put up as her armor. This is the side of her that signed up for FanFiction without her mom knowing, and spends late nights reading and writing FanFiction stories after she smuggles her laptop into her room. She finds a way to get lost in the characters and starts to feel like she knows more about them then she knows about herself. But this is her most guarded part. She hates it when people read her personal writing, the sort of writing that comes from thinking about the world, or just what life means in general. This is her true self, the one that she hides away from the world during the day, but the personality comes out at night.

One day after school, she saw a girl sitting against the outside school wall, leaning her head on a guy's shoulder, while he rubs her back. She's heard about the couple, and everyone says they are really happy. But when she looks at them, she feels like someone stabbed her with a knife and then twisted it. She aches to be wanted like that, to be loved like that, and to be needed like that.

She hates injustice. It just doesn't seem right to her. She can't look at someone she knows that is bullied without feeling guilty about being a bystander. She wants to go tell the teachers, but she knows that she will never, ever, ever have the courage for something like that.

She tries to fit in, she really does. And it works. But somehow, conformity doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel real. She has to watch her back all the time and be careful of what she says. She starts getting sick of lying to try to fit in, because it makes her feel horrible to lie to all the people she knows.

She feels like letting the tears flow when she hears her parents argue. Every day, they fight over something. It could be anything, even the smallest things set them off. It breaks her heart to hear her mom say, "I regret marrying her father." Whenever those words reach her ears, she grows more desperate, and has less faith in true love. People don't realize that her home is so broken.

Do you know where I saw this girl?

In the mirror.

That girl is me.

And I don't like what I see.

So, I put on my makeup—foundation, eyeliner, and lip gloss, and try to use it as a shield so no one can see the real person inside, or hurt me with their poisonous words.

Isn't it better to just hide who you really are, and then hope and pray for someone, anyone to find you?

I want you all to do the same, and accept Cheeky's challenge. Take a minute and think deeply about yourself and simply write/type it and post it on your profile. If you don't want to post it on your own, pm it either to me or Cheeky. I know that the both of us are posting them on our profiles when someone asks us to.

(.• (.•pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer. This is for both of my grandmothers who lost their battles but never their hope. I love you. Forever and always. It's also for my aunt who beat her battle, teaching me that anything is possible. I love you also.

Touching Quotes/ Inspiring: (By the way, some of these are copied and pasted from other profiles only because I was too lazy to write it all out.)

"There is no substitute for hard work." - Thomas Edison

"Find your passion and run with it. Anything is possible.” - Kendall Schmidt

“It’s a shame that cancer has been something that’s been accepted in society as something that’s always going to be there.”- Kendall Schmidt

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Mahatma Gandhi

''You can take everything I have. You can break everything I am, like I'm made of glass, like I'm of paper. Go on and try to tear me down, I'll be rising from the ground. Like a skyscraper''Demi Lovato.

"I won't be labeled as average." - Rachel Scott

“I have this theory that if one person can go out of their way to show compassion, then it will start a chain reaction of the same. People will never know how far a little kindness can go.” -Rachel Scott

“Compassion is the greatest form of love humans have to offer.” -Rachel Scott

“I will put honesty before the risk of humiliation.” -Rachel Scott

“Tomorrow is not a promise, but a chance.” -Rachel Scott

“Trust and honesty is an investment you put in people.” -Rachel Scott

"Don't let your character change color with your environment. Find out who you are and let it stay its true color." -Rachel Scott

"I want people to expect more from me because I expect more. If you don't set goals high, you're not trying."- Todd Helton.

“You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.” -Winnie the Pooh

"It's tough. I mean the thing is that people don't realize how much people are looking at you and judging you and constantly try to, I guess, watch you fail, and hoping you do fail."- Logan Henderson. Kendall Schmidt added, "Everyone wants to watch a train wreck."

"Be who you are, love is all you need." If I Ruled the World by Big Time Rush

"If we never flew, we would never fall. If the world was ours, we would have it all. But the life we live isn't so simplistic you just don't get what you want." Halfway There

Funny Quotes:

"Life is too short to be organized"- Kendall Schmidt

"He's wrong. We would've written an awesome song with like rhymes and stuff." -James, Big Time Songwriters

"Now everything looks blue!"

"Well what color do you want?"

"Oh, I don't know ALL OF THEM!" -Logan, Big Time Pranks

"This looks weird, right?" -Kendall, Big Time Demos.

"Is the bad stuff over?" -Carlos, Big Time Fans

"Look I just want my butt back. I don't want my friends in Minnesota seeing it because...it's my butt!" -Kendall, Big Time Reality

"Logan, you may not beileve this but, I've never been asked out before."

"No, I believe it." -Logan and Camille, Big Time Dance.

"You know what, I think you want Carlos to go out with Kandi because you think she's hot."

"I don't wanna date a hot girl I wanna date you!"

"Wow that came out wrong, but Kandi is coming on the double date." -Kendall and Jo, Big Time Crush

"Please don't stay another moment, we don't wanna hear more words spoken, walk out through the door, oh look IT'S OPEN! And you snore in the dark, and it's creeping us out." -Kendall and James, Big Time Terror

"I thought he was loud when he was awake!" -Logan, Big Time Terror.

"I'm not good at double dating!" -Carlos, Big Time Crush.

"Darn you're cute." -Camille Big Time Prom Kings.

"What he really means is maybe somebody at the Palm Woods has seen Camille...I mean uh, James." -Logan, Big Time Concert.

"That when you leave your house, your toys come alive." Carlos, Big Time Demos

"Sorry. I don't have any photos of me and Jo making out. OR SOMETHING!" -Kendall, Big Time Sneakers

"Oops... This isn't Root Beer"- Kendall Knight (Schmidt) Welcome Back, Big Time

"Let's all just calm down and think nice happy thoughts about kittens"- Carlos Garica (Pena) Big Time Audition

"Me Kendall. You go away P.S fire bad."- Franken Carlos (Carlos Pena) Big Time Halloween

"Yeah, uh, no. He's nuts, and orange."- Gustavo Roque Big Time Fever.

"Mistletoe...BAAAAAD!"- James Diamond (Maslow) Big Time Christmas

"P.S I KNOW FIRE IS BAD!" Jo Taylor (Katelyn Tarver) Big Time Halloween.

"Everybody chill out and hop on board the Logan train, WOO WOO, to mellowville. BING!!"- Hippie Logie Big Time Fever.

"The friend zone is a dark, cold, place filled with ex-boyfriend talks, rides to the airport, and helping her move."- James (Big Time Rocker)

ø„"ºø„„øº" „øº"

"ºø„ Big Time Rush „øº"
„øº" ROCKS!! "ºø„
„øº"„øº""º ø„"º

Amazing Friends and Amazing Authors:

poeticjustice13- Wow, this girl simply blows me away. She was like the first author that I read a Logan and Camille fic from, and she had me hooked from the very start. She's actually a good friend of mine on this site, and she is... amazing. She been here for me through my darkest days and my brightest and I can't thank her enough. She's an incredible writer, even though she never admits it, and is so supportive of both my stories and me. I highly encourage you to go read her stories just cuz they're awesome. She has helped my soooo much on my stories, and I love her, I'm so lucky to have a friend as helpful and sweet as her. Love ya Nessa!

prettylocks111- This girl, this girl... She, too, is one of one of my awesome friends on this site, and she's so super amazing. She's like one of the best authors on this site and you HAVE to check out her stories. She's so sweet and she never fails to support me. She helps me so much on my stories, and she's always there for me... I'll always wonder why, but I love her, and I'll forever be thankful for her. Please, please go read her stories, they're amazing. Love you Kaylia!

asdfghjklblah- MY LOGIE TWIN!! Why does this girl have to be so sweet? But no, seriously, she's like the nicest person I've ever met and she definitely doesn't give herself enough credit. Her stories make me cry- and yes, they're THAT amazing. She's so fun-loving and whenever I talk to her, she always manages to bring a smile on my face no matter how horrible I might be feeling. AND we have the most amazing conversations. Please, please, please go read her stories because they're just as amazing as she is. GO! Love you Caitee.

GhostGirlMD- This girl is a sweetheart and she always listens to my rambles and she's always there for me. Plus, she's an awesome writer. She blows me away with whatever she does and trust me, she's amazing. I'm so glad that I've gotten to know her so well. I love her so much, like I said before, she's a sweetheart. Love ya Em aka our little actress.

BTR'slovesong- She's my buddy. Haha. :) But so seriously, our conversations are never boring. Plus, she's super nice and cool! Did I mention that she's one of the best authors on this site? Well she is. I can't thank her enough for being there for me and cheering me up though she doesn't even realize it. RAWR. We're dinosaur buddies too and one day we're going to kidnap Big Time Rush and make them sing and dance for us. lol. Just kidding. But we love our boys, right Channy? Love ya!

PizzaTop21- Aww this girl's so sweet. I love her stories to death and her too. She's awesome and I'm happy I've had the chance to know her better. Not going to lie, her stories have made me cry before. They're that amazin'! Go check out her stories! Love ya Jessy.

BTRhpgeek21- She's gives me my weekly dosage of Jendall. I wuv her. She's super cool and nice and did I mention that she's an amazing writer? And she's my desi friend. Lol. Our talks about that can never end... So go check out her stories and her cuz she's awesome like that! Love ya Tak!

These are just about the most amazing people I've ever talked to. I'm so blessed to have them in my life. They've made this journey worthwhile and I can't thank them enough for that. Without their incredible support and friendship, I would be nowhere. So thank you and I love you.

And to all my readers, I love you too. I may not know you personally but you don't know how much it means to me that you even take the time to read my stories. Thank you.

ALWAYS REMEMBER:

You only live life once, so grab the bull by its horns and go BIG TIME! :) Keep smiling, nothing can bring you down unless you let it. :)

"Be who you are, love is all you need." If I Ruled the World by Big Time Rush