Name: Jared or Llama XD

Age: 19

About Me: I Am From The Uk. I Love Animals, I Have Many Pets and the list grows everyday XD my elder sister runs a reptile rescue center called WildThings :) it's still in contruction but she's slowly getting there. :3 I Love Wolves And Llama's (Which Is Why My Nickname Is Llama) I Love Yaoi :) My Fav Fanfiction Couple Would Have To Be Drarry (DracoXHarry For Those Who Don't Know) :P I Love Writing And Have Been For About 5 Years Now XD But I Only Started Writing Yaoi Recently.

Pairings I Support: Draco/Harry(HP)((my fav couple ATM)), Snape/Harry(HP), Snape/Lucious(HP), Lucius/Harry(HP), Sirius/Remus(HP), Aragorn/Legolas (LOTR), Jacob/Jasper (Twilight), Jareth/Toby (Labyrinth), Captain Jack/Will (POTC), BeVin(Ben T/Kevin L) And Many More (Until I Can Think Of More Obviously) ;)

In Remembrance:
In Remembrance to Severus Snape,
A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor,

In Remembrance to Fred Weasley,
Who fought bravely to the very end,
And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half,
And will loyally await his soul mate and brother,
With many jokes,
He's got forever to think of them, right?

In Remembrance to Dobby,
Who was more free and full of love,
Than any elf, and most humans.

In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin,
The last real Marauder,
Who was not just a wonderful father,
An incredible husband and a brave hero,
As well as an awesome werewolf,

In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks,
Who died for the greater good,
And would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora,

In Remembrance to Alastair 'Mad Eye' Moody,
Who's motto 'Constance Vigilance' kept him alive,

In Remembrance to Tom Marvolo Riddle, A.K.A Voldemort,
Who was pretty cool and cute when he was younger,
But who got his ass kicked thoroughly in the end,

In Remembrance to Albus Dumbledore,
Whose past and wisdom confused us,
Whose seeming betrayal shocked us,
But who actually turned out to be an okay guy in the end,

In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange,
Because it was awesome how Molly Weasley got her with the Avada Kedavra,
She deserved everything she got in the end,

In Remembrance to Colin Creevey,
Who we really didn't know too well,
But took a lot of pictures and died fighting in the war,
So he must've done something good...
Besides stalking Harry,

In Remembrance to Hedwig,
Harry's first real friend,
Who lived and died soaring.

this is my deviantart where i will post pictures from my stories XD (nothing on it yet though lolz)

http://fuzzyhyperllama.deviantart.com/

If Life Gives You Lemons, Squirt Them In Your Enemies' Eyes

Hand Over The Chocolate, And Nobody Gets Hurt
Sanity Is Overrated
When I Told Your Boyfriend That He's Gay, He Hit Me With His Purse
I'm Not Strange! I'm Different!
I'm Not Short, I'm Vertically Challenged
I Have Lots Of Talents, I'm Just Not Good At Any Of Them
Don't Knock On Death's Door. Ring The Doorbell And Run. He Hates That
Life Isn't Passing Me By, Its Trying To Run Me Over
Stress- The Condition Brought On By Overriding The Body's Desires To Kick Someone's Ass
If Santa, An Honest Lawyer, And A Nice Politician Were Together In A Room, And There Was A Cookie, Who Would Get It? Santa, The Other Two Don't Exist
People Used To Call Me Names. But That's Okay, They're Dead Now
My Knight In Shining Armor Turned Out To Be Some Loser In Aluminum Foil
Don't Piss Me Off, I'm Running Out Of Places To Hide Bodies!
Is It Just Me, Or Do Automatic Doors Make You Feel Like A Jedi?
I Don't Suffer From Insanity, I'm Enjoying Every Minute Of It
People Fear The Strange And Unusual. I Am The Strange And Unusual
If At First You Don't Succeed, Destroy All Evidence That You Tried
I Ran With Scissors... AND LIVED!
That, My Children, Is Called A Wall. But Beware, The Wall Is Solid. Yes, Be Afraid! Be Very Afraid, For We Cannot Walk Through It! Believe Me Children, I Have Attempted This Many Times Before
My Imaginary Friend Thinks You Have Serious Problems
If You Think Losing Your Mind SLOWLY Is Bad, Try Losing It QUICK- I'm Sorry, What Were We Talking About? And Who Are You?
If Stupidity Got Us Into This Mess, Why Can't Get Us Out?
There's Nothing Wrong With Arguing With Yourself. Its When You Argue With Yourself And LOSE When Its Weird
You Know Its Gonna Be A Bad Day When You Fall Out Of Bed And Miss The Floor
All Things Considered, Insanity May Be The Only Reasonable Alternative
I Reject Your Reality And Substitute My Own
Tell The Truth And Run
One Night, I Lay In Bed, Looking Up At The Stars, And Thought, "Where The Hell Is The Ceiling?"
I've Got ADD And Magic Markers. Oh The Fun I Will Have!
Officer, I Swear To Drunk, I'm Not God!
Come To The Dark Side... We Have Cookies!
Right Now, I'm Having Amnesia And Deja Vu At The Same Time. I Think I've Forgotten This Before...
I'm On A Quest To The Deepest, Darkest Corners Of My Room In Search Of What Some Would Call A "Floor". A Long And Difficult Task Awaits Me. Wish Me Luck My Friends, For I May Not Return Alive
I'm Not Paranoid... WHICH OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!
Stupidity Killed The Cat. Curiosity Was Framed!
Get Off Our Planet Alien Scum!
I'm A Black Belt In Origami!
I Did What They Said And Chose The Road Less Traveled... Now Where The Hell Am I?
When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Apple Juice, Then Laugh While People Try To Figure Out What The Hell You Did
Why Do Adults Teach Kids That Violence Isn't The Answer, And Then Have Them Read About Wars In Schools That Solved America's Problems?
It Doesn't Matter If The Glass Is Half Empty Or Half Full, Just Drink It And Get It Over With
the Surest Sign Of Intelligent Life Out There Is That None Of Them Has Ever Tried To Contact Us
Why Is It Necessary To Nail Down The Lid Of A Coffin?
Why Don't We Ever See The Headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

if you ever want to see this handbag alive ever again, come with me! -burlesque.

annoying things to do on an elevator: read this!:) very funny!!

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

On a Myer hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of
Chips:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside."
(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how??)

On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But, it's just a suggestion).

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought...??)

On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head
colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause
drowsiness."
(And I am taking this...because?)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
curious.)

On packet of Nobbys'
Peanuts:-
"Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for
this one:
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly".

On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions:
"Put on fork and eat."
(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

19 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In".
5. Put Decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For Smuggling Drugs".
7. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".
8. dont use any punctuation
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme?
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"
19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the Economy, we are going to have to let one of you go

50 Things I must NOT do at Hogwarts …

(Please NOTE. NONE of these are mine. They're from someone else's profile, but I forgot to copy the pen-name (sorry))

1. I will NOT sing “We’re off to see The Wizard” when I am sent to the headmasters office.

2. I will NOT feed the first years to Fluffy.

3. The Giant Squid is NOT an appropriate date to The Yule Ball.

4. Dobby is NOT Yoda is disguise.

5. He is NOT Gollum either.

6. I will NOT bring a magic-8-ball to Divination Class.

7. Shaving Mrs. Norris is NOT a public service.

8. My homework was NOT eaten by a werewolf. Especially when my teacher is Professor Lupin.

9. I will NOT tell the first years to make a tree-house in the Whomping Willow.

10. House Elves are NOT suitable replacements for bludgers.

11. Growing marijuana and/or hallucinogenic mushrooms does NOT count as Herbology extra-credit.

12. I will NOT give Lupin a flea collar.

13. Nor will I leave dog-biscuits on his desk.

14. I will NOT shout “FIRE!!” when I am near the Bowtruckles.

15. If a classmate falls asleep I will NOT take advantage of this and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

16. Starting a betting-pool on the fate of this year’s Defense against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky. It is NOT a clever money-making concept.

17. I will NOT lick Trevor.

18. I do NOT have a Dalek Patronus.

19. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.

20. I will NOT offer to prepare ‘Tandoori Owl’.

21. I will NOT teach House-Elves to impersonate Jar-Jar Binks.

22. Shouting “To Infinity and Beyond!” was only funny the first time I took off on a broom.

23. Saying “Remember - Save a Broom, Ride a Quidditch Player” is NOT an appropriate way to end a Quidditch practice.

24. When being interrogated by a member of staff I am NOT allowed to wave my hand in a casual manner and say “These are not the Droids you’re looking for”.

25. I will NOT refer to the summoning charm (Accio) as “The Force”.

26. First years are NOT toys; therefore I must NOT teach the Giant Squid to fetch them.

27. Spiking the school’s supply of pumpkin juice is NOT allowed, no matter how much we enjoyed ourselves that night.

28. “Springtime for Voldemort” is NOT an appropriate title for the school production.

29. I am NOT allowed to attempt to breed a ‘liger’.

30. I will NOT use Umbridge’s quill to write “Told you I was Hardcore”.

31. I will NOT greet Prof. McGonogal with “What’s new Pussy-cat?”.

32. There is NOT, nor will there ever be a fifth house at Hogwarts. I am not a member of aforementioned house, nor am I its founder.

33. I will NOT send shampoo to Snape’s office, no matter how badly he needs it.

34. "Potter 6, Voldemort 0", is not a valid T-shirt slogan.

35. Even though they are easier to use and probably more effective, I will not use guns against the Death Eaters.

36. I will not charm Firenze pink and call him "My Little Pony."

37. No matter how funny it is I will NOT leave kitty litter in Prof. McGonogal’s office.

38. I will NOT attempt to recreate “The Cornish Pixie” incident.

39. I will NOT attempt to convince Snape the color pink would “suit his complexion more.”

40. I will NOT dress up as Lord Voldemort for Halloween.

41. I will NOT ask Harry Potter if his “Scar-Senses” are tingling.

42. I will NOT call Dumbledore Santa Claus. Even if it is Christmas.

43. I will NOT tell Voldemort to “Get a life”.

44. Charming the Brooms to hum “Disney’s: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” is annoying and NOT even remotely amusing.

45. I will NOT ask Pure-Blood students – “If your Mum & Dad got divorced, would they still be brother & sister?”

46. I must NOT mock Lupin about his "Time of The Month".

47. My Headmaster's name is Albus Dumbledore, NOT Gandalf.

48. I will NOT refer to new Defense against The Dark Arts teachers as "Lambs for the Slaughter".

49. Whenever I see a dementor I must NOT hiss "Sssssssshire, Bagginsssssss".

50. I must NOT sell Horcruxes on eBay.

If you cried when Fred Weasley died (in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows), and not afraid to admit it, copy, paste this on your profile.

If you love Harry Potter, copy this into your profile.

If you always mentally make the Sirius "serious" pun whenever somebody says, "I'm serious!" copy and paste this into your profile.

If you wanted to punch Remus Lupin in the gut for thinking that he was "too old" for Tonks, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you agree that Tonks is a way better nickname than Dora (as in Nymphadora), copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you agree Pansy Parkinson should be sent to a Dog Kennel, copy and paste this to your profile.

My YouTube Account (Just Incase) http://www.youtube.com/user/fuzzyhyperllama?feature=mhee

Love You All My Truffle Muffins xx O_o

J.