|I Wish I Had A British Accent|
Author has written 1 story for Nine Lives of Chloe King.
so, as you can see by my pen name, i do not live in England, Or have a british accent (which makes me so sad).
i have a wide taste in music. on my ipod you can find anything from led zeppelein to one direction, from alex day to taylor swift. yep. uhm, i'm pretty good at french, but i'm dreadful at speaking it. i've lived near the ocean my whole life and am proud to say that when i go to bed in the summer, i can hear the waves crashing. i call sunrises sunsets a lot by accident and i have a really bad stutter when i talk to people. i love to siing and act and was once a lead role in a play. i'm ADHD and cannot pay attention to anything. i can't spell, so please excuse all of the mistakes :) i have no idea what i want to be when i grow up, and that's really scary to me. i'm tall curly and pale so you can basically find me in a crowd. if youre at the beach, i'll be the one who is blinding you with my floresent legs.
you can find me at scintillatingsmile.tumblr.com
now for the stuff that is actually funny
92% of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie & Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. If you are part of the 8% who were laughing your head off, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you keep convincing yourself that your Hogwarts letter is still on it's way, the owl just got lost, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with them. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would just laugh and say, "Oh, jeezum, where do I even start?"
98% of teenagers do/have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.
93% of teenagers would have a total mental breakdown and go completely emo if someone called them a freak. If you are part of the 7% that would roll their eyes and say, "Um, yeah, no freakin' chiz, Eintstein. What was your first clue?” copy this onto your profile.
If you have sometimes walk into walls at completely random times, then announce to everybody who asks if you're okay or if you hurt yourself that you SO did not just walk into that wall, and you're completely fine, no need to be worried, you were just saying hello to it with your face, but thanks for your concern, copy this onto your profile
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you just stood there and yelled BANG! then I don't think you'd be able to kill very many people.
The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that stuff up in two seconds. That's why when I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!"
MOBILE FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATE: standing on the side of the road with a sign that says "I bet you can't hit me with a quarter" to see how much money I can get for people's idiocy!
The next time you're in Walmart, hide in a clothes rack and when someone is looking through the clothes come out and say "WELCOME TO NARNIA" :)
Need more proof that humanity is one day going to kill itself out of sheer stupidity? Here are a few label instructions that can be found on various consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping (darn, that's the only time I have to work on my hair)
A bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (maybe it's the shoplifter special?)
A bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap (which is how...?)
Some Swanson frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost (but it's ONLY a suggestion)
Tesco's Tirasumi dessert (printed on the bottom): Do not turn upside down (little late for THAT, don'chya think?)
A Korean kitchen knife: Keep out of children (this is either a minor translation mistake or Koreans have more issues than we originally thought)
Marks & Spencer bread pudding: Product will me hot after heating (I hoped it'd be frozen...darn you, nuke powered microwaves!)
Packaging for a Roweneta iron: Do not iron clothes on body (but that would save so much time...)
Boot's Children cough medicine: Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication (yes, if only we could get those 5-year-olds with nasty head colds off the forklifts, the rate of construction accidents would go down dramatically)
Child's Superman costume: Wearing this garment does not enable you to fly (I don't blame the company, I blame the parents. I mean, sure, let's just go ahead and totally destroy a universal childhood belief!)
Nytol Sleep Aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness (and...you think I"m taking this because...?)
Most brands of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only (is there another type of "doors" I don't know about where I might be using them?)
A Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use (okay, i have no clue what this one means. anybody mind helping me out here?)
Sunsbury's peanuts: Warning: Contanins nuts (NO CHIZ!!!)
American Airlines peanut packet: Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts (step 3: avoid elephants, perhaps?)
Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chains with your hands or genitals (O_0 uh...do Swedes do this often?...)
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever wanted to just SLAP someone, copy this into your profile.
(O) WICKED is on my ipod!! 92% of teens have moved on to rap! if your still one of the 8 that still listens to REAL music then put this on ur profile
If you are able to see how beautiful green skin really is, copy this into your profile.
If you're Defying Gravity, and no one can bring you down, copy this into your profile.
If you think Elphaba really is beautiful, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you talk to yourself or fictional characters copy/paste this into your profile
If you ever wondered who made up all the 'copy this into your profile' thingies then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!
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