Author has written 4 stories for Hot Wheels: Battle Force 5, Rio, and Resident Evil.
HELLO! and welcome to my profile. (well that's a very comon greeting... oh well XD)
My name is Julia and I'm from Mexico. I was born on January 21, 1997. There's really not much info to give, that's all you need, really
So, if you have read my stories then you might allready know this, but just to make it clear: I SUCK AT SUMMARIES! so if you read my summary, please give the story a chance! :)
Well since its my profile, I guess I should say something about myself... ummm... o.o'
I'm mexican, so any translations English to Spanish that you need you can ask me. But please, I'm beggin you, don't use Google translator. It changes verb tenses, and first to third person and OH MY GOD! It just looks awfull, and not even I can understand what you people write when you use it. It's just friendly advise, 'cause you guys trust in that thing and it doesn't work! Well, not in more that a few words at a time XD
As for reading, I read about a couple of things, that go from Glee to Alice in wonderland and from Rio to Hunger Games. What can I say? I like a lot of things.
Other than that, the only thing that I think is relevant (for me at least) are my music tastes. I LOVE my music, cause, well, it's MY music. My favorite artists are: Avril Lavigne, Glee, Bond, Cameron Mitchell (personal favorite X333), James Blunt, Vocaloid (OMG, Rin and Len are sooo cute X333), Maroon 5, B.o.B and P!nk. But those are just some names, I'm more of 'just like one song for each artist I discover', you know?
Movies are also important!!!!! Moulin Rouge!, Rio, Avatar, X-men (include the comics :D) Alice in Wonderland, any Johnny Depp movie, Tangled, Inception, any movie in which Joseph Gordon-Levitt appears (I love you Joseph!!!), Eragon, In Time and the Avengers. I can just watch those over and over and never get bored
So anything you want to tell me, just PM me, and I'll make sure to answer as soon as I can! :D
And now some funny things to read! Enjoy!
Going to McDonalds and asking for a salad, is like going up to a hooker and asking for a hug.
Its all fun and games until you realize your Capri Sun has no straw then s*t gets real.
Sometimes when I'm bored I lay on my kitchen floor and pretend I'm a crumb.
What i do when im hungry: ( ) get up and get food (x) moan like a dying whale until someone feeds me
That awkward moment when someone says "you two should go out", when you're thinking "dude im working on it!"
When I drop my phone, I act like I've let a new born baby slip through my hands.
Everybody has a girlfriend or boyfriend, and I'm just over here like "Look at that tree...I Like that tree. Ok fvck it, I'm about to climb that tree".
Low Battery Low Battery Low Battery Well apparently you have enough battery to remind me every 2 seconds
3AM text messages "Hey are you asleep?" “No, I'm freaking scuba diving”
Oh wow. You're really gonna fight me over the internet? What's the worst you can do, caps-lock my a$z?
The awkward moment when you hold the door open for someone then suddenly everybody in the building decides to go out.
Laughing so hard, no noise comes out, so you sit there clapping like a retarded seal.
Paranormal Activity, shootings, bomb attacks, robberies, all scary... But nothing is more terrifying than seeing 5 missed calls from mom.
I don't wanna sound like a bad a$z or anything, but I play the Wii without the wrist strap on
Want someone stop texting you? Send this SMS: SERVICE ERROR 305: MESSAGE DELIVERY FAILED. FURTHER MESSAGES WILL BE CHARGED TO YOUR ACCOUNT.
Once I put on my headphones, my life becomes a music video
Putting lmao, lol, rofl, and knowing damn well you're sitting there with less expression than a brick.
Step 1: Open fridge... Nothing to eat. Step 2: Open cupboard... Nothing to eat. Step 3: Lower standards and repeat steps 1 and 2
One of the hardest things in life is trying to plug in your charger in the dark
Has anyone noticed that the "&" symbol looks like a man dragging his a$z across the floor?
I hate when im singing a song and someone corrects me... Biiitch what if I was freestyling..
Having those weird conversations with your friend and thinking if anyone heard us we would be put in a mental hospital
Opens a pack of gum BAM. Everyone's your best friend
Lazy rule: Can't reach it, don't need it.
Adele: "I set fire to the rain!" Spongebob: "LOL, biiiitch please. I make campfires underwater."
Nicki Minaj: Pink Hair, Katy Perry: Blue Hair, Rihanna: Red Hair & Lady Gaga: Green Hair...THE POWER RANGERS ARE BACK!
"Talk dirty to me ;)" "Mud."
During Exams there is always one song, that stuck in my head when I’m trying to remember the answer.
Normal Person Flirting: "Hey babe what's goin on? ;)" Me Flirting: "Your face. I like that s#!t."
That epic moment when you almost drop something then catch it in mid-air.
That awkward moment when your walking down the stairs and think theres another step and you hulk stomp the ground.
Think of a number. Double it. Add six. Half it. Take away the number you started with. Your answer is three. Your Mind = blown.
() Single. () Taken. (x) Helping Mario get Peach back!
Teachers call it "going to the bathroom." We call it "I'm bored. I'm leaving."
Oh, you're dating someone else already? I thought the 5 second rule only applied for food.
Whoever said nothing is impossible... Never tried to staple water to a tree.
Ghost hunters: "Can you communicate with us?" Door creeks Ghost hunters: "Oh so your name is William?"
Raisin cookies that look like chocolate cookies, are the main reason I have trust issues.
Girls, there's a fine line between wearing make-up & looking like you just got gang banged by crayola
Checking the fridge every 10 minutes to see if any food magically appeared.
3AM text message "Hey are you asleep?" "No, I'm hunting zebras. What the fvck do you want?"
Teacher: Don't pack up yet we still have 2 minutes!!! Students: packs up slowly and quietly
Doing the "I'm thinking really hard face" when the teacher looks at you.
"Did you do your homework?" "Did you grade my test?" "I have other student's tests to grade." "I have other teacher's homework to do."
"I wasn't that drunk..." "Dude, you were in my bathroom begging my sponge for the krabby patty formula."
Getting mad, because your celebrity crush is cheating on you.
I don't care if your son is 2, Imm not giving up this swing.
I don't have a dirty mind... I just have a sexy imagination
Who says I can't cook? You obviously haven't tasted my cereal
"I dont need to write that down, I will remember it" = My biggest lie.
I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.
Back in elementary school, when you were line leader, everyone else was your biitch.
I do 5 sit-ups every day. It may not sound like much, but there is only so many times you can hit the snooze button.
Me? Weird? Biitch please, I'm limited edition.
I hate the nerds that cover up their answers. Like come on, let's work together bro.
I don't understand how Super Mario can smash blocks with his head but dies when he touches a turtle.
Teacher: "The test is very easy." Me: Sure it is, you already know the answers.
If you have a picture of a car as your profile picture, Im going to assume that you're a transformer
Annoying person: "You're cute when you're mad" Me: "Keep it up and Im about to get really fvcking adorable!"
S.C.H.O.O.L. = Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Life. C.L.A.S.S. = Come Late And Start Sleeping. F.I.N.A.L.S. = Fck I Never Actually Learned S*t.
When you start to hate someone , everything they do begins to annoy you .. them : "Cough*" you: "OOOOHHH MY GOOOOOODDDDDDD "
I text you a whole paragraph within 5 minutes and you text me back 40 minutes later saying "K"... Are you asking to be shot? -_-
My Graduation Speech: "I'd like to thank Google,Wikipedia, and Copy & Paste"
There's always one person in PE that acts like their competing in the freaking Olympics
Hold on a sec, I'm searching for a fck to give
"Po-po-po poker face!" "Grandma please, we're playing UNO!"
I always thought the "D" in the Disney logo looks like a backwards "G."
No matter how bad-a$z you were, when you were younger you also used to draw the sun in the corner of the paper.
'Love thy neighbor.' aka don't put a password on your WiFi.
Just stepped on a lucky charm, I'm officially a cereal killer.
Normally I can't dance to save my life. But after I step in dog crap, I can dougie, moonwalk and cha cha slide.
You cold? - Nope I'm on vibrate -_-
Dear McDonalds cashier, don't give me that look. There's no age limit on a happy meal. Sincerely, don't forget the toy.
Lazy rule: If it isn't on the 1st page of Google, it doesn't exist.
I hate smart a$z teachers. Me: Can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: I don't know, can you? Me: BIIITCH I WILL S*t ON YOUR DESK.
Teacher: "You're here to learn." Student: "No, we're here because it's the law."
Right before I die I'm going to say "I left a million dollars in the..."
"GET THE FVCK OUT MY FACE!" Me: "Grandma please! It's a 3D movie!"
FEAR: [F]uck [E]verything [A]nd [R]un
CLOSE YOUR LEGS YOU SLLUT "Grandma please, she‘s having a baby".
They say "don't drink and drive". Well... yesterday I was drinking a juice box while riding my tricycle. Yeah. Im a bad a$z
"Was that lightning" No... they're taking pictures for google earth
It's perfectly legal to kill someone in your dreams, that's why I wake up with a smile everyday!
I don't Insult people, I describe them!!
I have a sixth sense, I see stupid people
Downloading the motivation to give a s#it ... Download failed!
Lets face it, we all had our teachers a$z in our face when they were helping another student...
IF THIS IS YELLING!!! WhAt dOeS tHiS sOuNd LiKe?
"Are you athletic?" .. "Yeah I surf...the internet"
Im sorry, I didn't mean to look like I give a dAmn. I apologize for the inconvenience.
I'LL BURN THIS MOTHERFVCKER TO THE GROUND NOW WHERE IS IT? Sir, calm down your toy is under the McNuggets.
Can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: What for? Me: TO OPEN THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS, Why the eff do you think?
I don't want to sound like a bad a$z... but i ejected my usb without removing it safely!
Once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive. You: Look at this biiitch, eating those crackers like she owns the place!"
Me:"Coke please." Cashier: "Is Pepsi ok?" Me: "Is monopoly money ok?"
Me: I'll have a McDouble, McFries, a McNapkin,.. Employee: Sir why are you-… Me: McShut the eff up! Im not done! Employee: THIS IS WENDYS
Cashier: "Have a great day!" Me: "Don't tell me what to do..."
I am going to show my kids the movie "2012" and be like "Yeah, I survived that like a boss."
I gets Jiggy with it. ('.') (’.') \(‘-’\) (/’-')/ \(‘-’\) (/’-')/ \(‾‾)/ \(u)\ (u) \(u)/
If I stop my car so you can walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of yo a$z! Knees to chest biiitch! KNEES TO CHEST!!
Cuts hand "Ouch that hurt" Steps on lego barefoot "ARGH HELP! I'VE BEEN SHOT! MAN DOWN MAN DOWN!"
Teacher: "I'm calling your parents!" Age 10: Omg no! Please! Age 13: Whatever.. Age 15: Tell them I said Heyyy!
79% of people don't know opposite words for the following:
When you figure it out...
A Creative Writing professor from the University of Colorado told his class one day (an actual class assignment):
“Today we will experiment with a new form called tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting next to his or her desk.
As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e–mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.”
The following was actually turned in by two of his English students:
(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn’t decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said , in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
(second paragraph by Bill)
Meanwhile, Advanced Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent on sweaty night over a year ago. “A. S. Harris to Geostation 17,” he said into his transgalactic communicator. “Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far …” But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship’s cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
He bumped his head and died immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for physically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feeling for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. “Congress Passes Laws Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,” Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. “Why must one lose one’s innocence to become a woman?” she pondered wistfully.
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu’udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty had left the Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after passage of the treaty the Anu’udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them. They swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized even poor, stupid Laurie.
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are literally the equivalent of Valium. “Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F@#KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I’m such an air headed bimbo. I guess I’ve read too many Danielle Steele novels!”
F@#* YOU _ YOU NEANDERTHAL!!
In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
A – I really liked this one
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't.
this is this cat
this is is cat
this is how cat
this is to cat
this is keep cat
this is a cat
this is dumb-ass cat
this is busy cat
this is for cat
this is forty cat
this is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on.
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