Author has written 23 stories for Glee.
I just feel stuck. All the time. It's like I'm under water and I'm looking frantically for a source of air but no matter how hard I try and get to the surface, more and more water is just thrown on top of me. I can't get out. I just need to get out. Out of everything. Out of life. I need to be able to breath again. Please just let me breath. Please. Please let me out of this hell. I'm fed up of constantly drowning, I want to feel air in my lungs and the sun of on my skin. Everything is just so dark and heavy. Let me out into the light.
I want to smile again. Really smile. The battle between my appearance and my emotions as gone far too long. While outside I'm smiling inside I'm screaming for help. It's hard to get away from what's wrong when the problem is you. When you hate yourself, there's no escape...
Apart from when I write. When I write I can get away from myself and tumble into someone else's life for a while. I can chose to go and see whoever and whatever I want. It's my break. My way out. Just for a small amount of time, I'm free. It's more than just a hobby, or a possible job in the future. It's the only way I'm able to breathe. When I write, I'm in control. And it's the only time I am in control. I can control where people are, who they meet, where they go, what happens to them.
It's my greatest and only escape. And one of the only reasons I'm still here, still fighting. Who knows? Maybe one day I'll reach the surface of the water. But until then, for a short amount of time, I'll be searching through distant and imaginary lands, thousands of light years away. Away from my life and away from myself. Away from worries and cares. And away from drowning.
And I couldn't do it without all of the support and comments I get from you guys. So thanks for saving me.
If you don't like gay relationships you might want to turn away now, as all of my fictions so far about two gay males on the TV show 'Glee'...and I don't think that's going to change anytime soon.
And you guys are honestly the most amazing people I've ever had the pleasure to meet.
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