Hello, and thank you for visiting my profile, for what it’s worth here’s a bit about me:

Name: Just use my pen-name please

I write comedy, crack, silliness, daft fight scenes and fluff with the occasional foray into angst. Trying to put the HET in Hetalia (although I do like a bit of Yaoi - I just can't write it...)

Feel free to PM me - I don't bite and I love a good debate!

I don't beta (I worry too much that I might accidentally steal someone else's plot and I'm a bit lazy so I wouldn't want to commit myself) but I will comment/review your story if you ask me to. I don't read much hetalia fanfiction lately as I got so bored of all the abusive Russia fics, but I will read my reviewers/favouriters' stories if I get chance (I'm nosey like that) and I always review if I like it. I also have a secret guilty pleasure for bad Star Wars/LOTR/Harry Potter fanfics but that's another story - maybe there should be a Fanficcers Anonymous?

Gender: Female

Age: Older than you think

Nationality British! (and proud)

Acknowledgements: My avatar was drawn by Tamaratuca - it shows Russia and fem Latvia during the 1944 Baltic Offensive as a reference to my fanfic The Baltics Secrets - here's her deviantart link - http://tamarutaca.deviantart.com/art/1944-Baltic-Offensive-271201591 - brilliant - real talent. Please check out her other art. She also drew this - http://tamarutaca.deviantart.com/#/d4neof8 inspired by Chapter 26 of the same story. She also drew this - http://tamarutaca.deviantart.com/art/Long-lost-beloved-287939554 - inspired by chapters 5 and 6 of A Day in the Life - where Russia is doodling his 'beloved' - fem Latvia.

Favourite Books: Harry Potter series, Skulduggery Pleasant series, any history books (how geeky eh?), Game of Thrones series, Dracula, Artemis Fowl too many mention - all the teenage stuff even though I'm past my teenage years (I think sometimes they are better written - teenagers are more discerning than adults), but will read just about anything (apart from slushy romance)

Favourite TV shows: Battlestar Galactica, Twin Peaks, Star Trek, Friends, Two and a Half Men, Buffy, Angel, BBC Horrible Histories, 24, Doctor Who.

Favourite Anime/Manga: Axis Powers Hetalia, Deathnote, Black Butler

Favourite Pairings:

Hetalia: FrUK, USUK, GerIta, DenNor, RoChu, PruCan, SuFin, AusHun, RusLiet (as long as its fluffy) – just about any really - but not the abusive ones - they make me cringe especially when a character is written as an abuser to justify a pairing. And I hate, hate, hate rapefics... urgh - why, people, why?

Fave characters to actually write for (and my emphasis on my interpretation of them)

England - I find him the easiest to write a scene/dialogue for (probably because I can relate to him). Sarcastic, deluded, irritable with everyone and himself, cannot handle his drink (very much like canon but perhaps I write him a bit softer). I adore his swearing and perhaps I use that too much... but hey that's how English people speak.

Russia - his character has such depth and he's so unpredictable he's a joy to write for because you could literally have him reacting any way you like in a scene and it would make sense (just about). I think he's like a big kid, awkward, clumsy, doesn't know his own strength. Strength and power to him means he won't be invaded again and he thinks in his own little head if everyone is 'one with Russia' there'll be no more wars. I also reckon he has so many mental problems from the wars and bloodshed that he has memory problems, concentration lapses. But this doesn't mean he's a pushover and when he gets angry he's unstoppable.

France - there's so much crack potential especially with his dialogue - I think he can be such a bitch, but a clever bitch. When he tries to seduce someone he does love that person at that time, and for every 'no' he gets, he gets at least three 'yeses'. In my head canon he literally wants to spread love around the world/Nations so that there is no more fighting (which actually seems logical - until you realise his definition of love)

Poland - not just a cross-dresser/gay, a clever, quite hard as nails character when he wants to be. If you think about the history of Poland and what this character has been through, it's no wonder he's unafraid of Russia - Russia's threats would just bounce off him. In my head canon he cross-dresses as a way of expressing himself and also to keep himself out of trouble - Russia and the other male nations wouldn't hit a woman - hence Poland can get away with his barbs at 'Braginski' and other nations simply by wearing a mini-skirt.

Denmark - it wasn't until I wrote Baltics Secrets that I really got to like this character - well my interpretation of Denmark that is. He's like the annoying older brother but is totally oblivious that his actions annoy other people (especially Norway who I write as being akin to his carer).

The Baltics - I've tried to make them more ballsy and certainly not the little 'yes, no, three bags-full' that most writers portray them. I reckon if you've survived 40 plus years (over a hundred in the case of Lithuania) living with Russia, you've got to have balls of steel. You'd also find some way of dealing with him - psychologically, physically, mentally. In my head-canon they are wary of Russia (who wouldn't be?) but not to the extent that they're trembling when he enters the room. I also reckon they've gotten quite fond of him - in the way you would if you lived with a large bear. Sorry guys though, I don't subscribe to Russia abusing Baltics - particularly Lithuania who was a superpower along with Poland in the Polish-Lithuanian commonwealth. We're talking about someone who beat Prussia, held Moscow for a few months and also beat Sweden. He ain't no frail little flower. In my stories they pull the wool over Russia's eyes quite a bit and it's Lithuania who runs that household (although Russia thinks he does).

Ukraine - I think Ukraine is a clever woman. Her crying and spaciness is a ruse to get out of things. Also I reckon she uses her womanly assets to get what she wants out of the male Nations. Her 'weapons' if you like. I also think she's one of the few people who can stop Russia in his tracks - she's his older sister, has practically brought him up, gave him his scarf - in exchange for a huge slice of land - I don't think she's some innocent, weak cry-baby and she probably has lots of embarrassing stories about Russia when he was a toddler...

Belarus - my interpretation is that she wants to become 'one' with her big brother because in her head he'll protect her from invaders. If you look at the history of the country, she's been under the dominion of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth and Germany (in both world wars). But she's also bat-shit crazy. But I write her as having a softer side - when she's not totally deranged and in 'marry me' mode - nobody could keep that up for long.

Austria/Hungary - I write the former as a crotchety older Nation who's bad-tempered, mean and really can't be bothered with the other Nations' idiocy most of the time. Hungary I reckon is probably the toughest character (as Himaruya said) in the whole series. Even Russia thinks twice about tackling her. I like to think of them both as a kind of divorced couple - who had to divorce for political reasons, so still quite close, still in love (but wouldn't admit it to each other), quite bitter after all they've been through, sometimes stinging towards each other (particularly Hungary about Austria) but woe betide anyone who attacks either of them and they'll face the wrath of the other.

Prussia - just awesomeness personified - he thinks. I'm sorry guys but I don't get the Rus-Pru pairings. He hates Russia so much he pukes blood if Ivan so much as touches him. And the feeling is mutual. What is he? East Germany? Kaliningrad? (two different things, people). Who knows. I don't think he cares any more. In my stories his reasons for living are pranking Austria/Russia/England, bedding as many women as he can and drinking beer. End of.

Well, those are my head canons - and they won't tally with other people's - or indeed Hiimaruya's. So don't bother flaming (or flamming!) cos I'll just laugh hysterically.

Like most writers, I adore reviews - they're my bread and butter and although I can tell how many hits/visitors each story has had, reviews give me the spur to keep writing. PMs/Faves and Alerts etc are also treasured - it just means someone out there is reading... And I always review if I've liked someone else's story.

Likes: Chocolate, coffee, cake, alcohol, fluffy animals, Youtube videos (the dafter the better), reading.

Dislikes: Sexism, racism, ageism, homophobia, cruelty to animals and small children (all these things make me very very angry and I'm not very nice when I'm angry), bananas, liquorice, getting into a fanfiction story and it doesn't get completed and you're left hanging, bad drivers, people who say 'Oh My God' every five minutes, food shopping... my list could go on and on.

Current stories:

The Baltics Secrets -COMPLETE! Fluffy anti rapetruck!Russia fic starring just about every Hetalia character. Loads of sillness, fluff, random swearing, violence, cross-dressing and drunkenness - all the product of a deranged mind. And it was only supposed to be a short story...

Fan art of my stories (I'm so honoured that someone took the time to draw Russia and fem Latvia) - please check them out:

Tamaratuca has drawn a fantastic line drawing of Russia and fem!Latvia - http://tamarutaca.deviantart.com/art/1944-Baltic-Offensive-271201591 - brilliant - real talent. I wish I could draw (sigh). She also drew this - http://tamarutaca.deviantart.com/#/d4neof8 - wonderful line drawing of Russia x Latvia inspired by Chapter 26. Please check out the rest of her artwork, she's really good.

Also a reviewer called Ano asked if I would like them to do a drawing of the Nation's children from Chap 32 Epilogue of Baltics Secrets. I would be deeply honoured and would love to see it. When it's done I'll put a link on here (if that's okay with them.)

Secret Diary of Arthur Kirkland - just started (a mad cross between Secret Diary of Adrian Mole/Bridget Jones Diary and James Bond - but perhaps without James Bond). Probably to incorporate multiple pairings and lots of fluff. A bit of a departure into first person writing for me. If anyone can guess the reference to Diane, please PM me - I will be awesomely impressed if you guessed correctly where I got 'Diane' from.

A Winter Night - RussxFemLatvia fluff - the night they first meet - (anyone who doesn't understand what I mean it's a side chapter to Baltic Secrets - Winter Nights to be exact - the full uncensored version). And although its got a sex scene in there I’ve kept it realistic so anyone hoping for raunchy no-holds bar romantic sex had better jog along (hey this was war). I also had to shove humour in there...

Revelations - COMPLETE! Sequel to Baltics Secrets. All the usual crack pairings (Belarus x England, Russia x femLatvia, Austria x Hungary, America x Belgium etc) and some serious drama (kind of), some angst (darker than my usual fics), car chases, a dash across Europe and some surprising alliances. A secret that if revealed could change the Nations' lives forever. Can the Nations stop it? Or will love and amnesia get in the way. Again, hetero ‘most’ of the way... (apart from PolxLiet, Francexanyone). Jog along if you’re looking for Russia raping Baltics/hard-core yaoi...

White Wedding (I think) - in production - a wedding (obviously). The premise being: why is England naked, gagged and in a large box in the back of a Royal Mail van driven by Russia dressed as a postman? Why are the female nations all eating custard and chips? Why is Romano sneaking the Mafia into the back of a church? Why is Denmark dressed in priest's robes? Why is Austria dancing around a lamppost in his underwear? So many questions so little time... the clock is ticking.

A Day in the Life - writing at the moment - what's it really like living in Soviet Russia's house? Abuse, torture and bullying? Or leaky roofs, lost kittens, floral curtains and random parties? Fem Latvia has to keep her secret and stay one step ahead of her boss. Anime/manga episodes from a different perspective. Lots of canon and non-canon stuff. Mostly in character... Prequel to the Baltic Secrets coming soon, maybe.

An Awesome Christmas - COMPLETE! While Santa/Finland and Sweden are out delivering presents, the task of cooking Christmas dinner is left to Denmark and Prussia. What can possibly go wrong? Lots... various guest stars including Russia, Latvia, Lithuania, England, France, America, Austria, Sealand, Norway and... some trolls. A Christmassy sequel/addition to Baltics Secrets/Revelations.

Thousand Years of Dude Den - writing at the moment - everyone's heard of Prussia's journals, but not many people have had the dubious honour of reading the diaries of the King of Northern Europe. Follow our favourite Viking through history as he recounts his most awesome moments. A cast of thousands... well, okay then, dozens. Guest stars including Russia, the Baltics, Sweden, Finland, Norway, Iceland, England, Austria, Prussia and others.

Mini-Me - in production - a small boy with vertical blond hair with a penchant for axes and boats turns up at Sweden and Finland's house. Who is he, where did he come from, who is his father and why am I asking all these questions?

Cirque du Hetalia - possible future story a cross between Cirque de Soleil and Hetalia - all your favourite characters in the Greatest (ahem) Show on Earth.

Amnesia - what happens when all the Nations have their memories wiped and are relocated to the small English village of Little Snoring-by-the-Sea? Who does what and how can they regain their memories and their lives?

My advice to other fanfiction writers? Write the story you would like to read.

Also another fave story not on fanfiction.net:

The Great Elevator Massacre 2010 (Hetalia) - vv funny (unfortunately not written by me) - author is Kay cricketed

http://hetalia.livejournal.com/6919302.html

Also this one:

Hetalia meets Maury (be warned though it's very rude, lots of swearing and sexual themes but very funny - Prussia, Germany, Austria & Hungary on the Maury Show) not written by me alas

http://marketgarden.deviantart.com/art/Hetalia-meets-Maury-Part-1-189413853

Please take a look at my favourite authors list - all excellent writers - far better than I will ever be.