NAME: Ceu Praca (Not really, but I'm never gonna tell you my real name...NEVER!)

GENDER: Female

AGE: Sixteen (Though subject to change as time passes)

CURRENT OCCUPATION(S): Amateur herpetologist, hobbyist herpkeeper, volunteer at a professional breeder's reptile farm.

MENTAL STATE: 10% unstable, 30% filled with reptiles, 20% filled with the Legend of Zelda, 40% obsessed with knives, swords, dagger, and the like. 1% thinking about the future.

ALIASES: VoadorChama, Morena Seio, Dakota Malkyn, Mariel, Veloz Lume, Mica Torris, Itaris, Ralyna, Aivi Celeste, The Lizard, Sandfire, Rana.

LOVES: God, writing, reading, well-written fanfictions, words, novels, bounty hunters, spaceships, the Reptilicus, chocolate, superheroes, Winston Churchill, dragons, lizards, snakes, music, August Rush, Metroids, photography, the Freedom's Call, dictionaries, deviantART, the Legend of Zelda, Monstrous Nightmares, Terrible Terrors, Mandalorians, history, herpetology, archaeology, swords, daggers, bows(the weapon not the ribbon), concealable weapons, rats, homeschooling, treehouses, backyard forts, homemade weapons, beanbags, slinkys, art, Tannin Starflare, horses, the Dragon Sword, bubble wrap, balloons, tinfoil, the Shadowmaster...

STRONGLY OPPOSES: Evolution, centipedes, bad grammar, bad punctuation, bad spelling, the decline of the English language, Space Pirates, Fyer and Falbi, FantasyFiction, lack of reviews, yaoi, yuri, slash and fem!slash, math, moronic behavior, bad morals, dishonesty, cowardice, Kaepora Gaebora, bullying, murder, stupid ideas, people shouting 'hey, watch this!', plastic wrap, opossums, Uther Pendragon, rabid Fem!Sheik people...

IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE; DO NOT SKIP OVER THIS:

It is now summer. Which means green fields, blue skies, and reptiles slithering about outside. Meaning that I will be spending as much time as possible outside. I will be doing volunteer work, hunting for reptiles all over the place, getting into breeding reptiles, hopefully getting a paying job, doing a lot of photography, hiking through the woods, having campfires, laying in the grass and stargazing, and other such awesome activities. In case you haven't figured it out yet, I am telling you that I will be spending far less time on the computer because the season of hibernating indoors is now officially over. Days of inactivity may occur. The only time I will have to get on the computer will be either if I'm sick, or at nighttime after the sun does down, and even then it's iffy, because I love stargazing and campfires, which only occur after twilight. Other than that, hurricane weather and days when it's thundering and lightning-ing outside are likely going to be the only days I'm gonna be able to get onto the computer. So...if I have a story that you really like, be patient. If said story happens to have last ended with a cliffhanger coughTheSmallestShredcough, then I beg of you to please be patient. It's a story, not real life. For instance, no one is actually dead. It's fictional. So don't freak out. Just wait patiently. And if you have any ounce of respect for yourself, you'll stop nagging me to update, get off the computer, and follow my example and go outside to get some fresh air and sunshine.

-=O=- _-=O=-_-=O=-_-=O=-_

First of all...music that I highly recommend:

If you love the Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, and loved the music to the game as much as you loved the game, then follow this link: http://twilight-symphony.com/music

I found amazing lyrics to the Stone Tower theme song from Majora's Mask! Check it out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QIkemjO5Ko

The most incredible lyrics for Midna's Theme song ever!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwLgLFn5t_k

Lyrics for Saria's Song; just ignore the spelling errors:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2ikKsMAvxU

Lyrics for the Serenade of Water:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RziHTCMUqw

The Song of Storms:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrB9kR81mI8

Kakariko Village Theme Song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2eG6H3kcbw

Midna's Desperate Hour lyrics; serious made me almost start crying; you'll love this if you love Midna!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDK1z8zNTmg

Gerudo Valley Theme lyrics:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwNs3Cr8DC4

Zelda's Lullaby:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3fWxqafpto

Song of Time:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6ZpZVKbFWg

Nocturne of Shadow lyrics; sadly they are short:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ATzoVfsoSc

Okay, music time is over...

I also exist on deviantART under the username 'VoadorChama,' where I am an awesome photographer. You can check out my stuff there at this link:

http://voadorchama.deviantart.com/

From here on out, I'm going to phrase my profile like it's a questionaire. Okay? I'll pretend that I'm being interviewed, to make reading my profile more fun and easy for you.

WHAT FANDOMS DO YOU WORK IN?

I am currently am obsessed the Legend of Zelda and Metroid, but I have Star Wars and How To Train Your Dragon WIP's. I also have a few stories on the backburner that have yet to be published, such as a Wii Sports Resort fanfic, a Person of Interest story, and a Slender fanfiction, but they will not be available for quite a while, because I'm trying to finish my LoZ stories first. I published my Metroid stories once, but then I grew to hate how juvenile they were, so I deleted them from this website and am currently working on revamping them.

DO YOU EVER DO CROSSOVERS?

Yes, and I've done a number of them, but...I discontinued one of them because of severe writer's block. It was a Metroid/Spider-man crossover called Spider meets Hunter. It was kind of random, and I'm currently debating whether or not to delete it permanently. It's no longer on this website, but I do still have the file for it, so I might do something with it eventually. I also did a Metroid/Legend of Zelda crossover called Tale of the Twilight Huntress that was quite popular with my readers, but it's riddled with errors and inaccuracies that bug me, so I'll be revamping that as well. TotTH has a sequel, called Winter's Dark, but that's on the backburner right now due to writer's block. :P

HOW GOOD ARE YOU AT WRITING?

Well...I've been writing stories, poems, and songs for most of my life, so I experience, and as such, all of my stories are as good a quality as I can possibly make them. It helps that I was homeschooled, so I know the importance of good grammar, punctuation, and spelling. My early stories weren't that great, I'll be the first to admit. Such stories as Tale of the Twilight Huntress and Trouble on the Horizon were written back when I was brand-new to fanfiction, and I had no clue what I was doing, and Dragon Sword, while it's been quite popular and it's one of my most dearly loved stories, it has a lot of inaccuracies and errors that I want to fix at some point, though probably not anytime soon.

DO YOU HAVE ANY RULES AND/OR GUIDELINES?

I do have rules...very strict rules about allowing anything profane or vulgar in my stories, which includes any readers of my stories to make any profane or vulgar comments in their reviews. Yes, that include curse words. So please, just obey my simple request, and we should get along with each other just fine.

As for guidelines...if you review one of my stories, then please, please write something more descriptive than 'I like this,' or 'Really nice fic so far.' As a writer and crafter of words, nothing irks me more than people not letting me know what they thought of one of my works. I like to know what made you laugh, what made you sad, what made you smile or frown. In other words, just review descriptively. Offer details. And if you're on this website, then chances are, you are thirteen or older, and know how to spell, capitalize and punctuate. In other words, use the English language correctly, and please don't mutilate it with 'text talk.' Please! For the love of 3rd grade English, write properly!

WHAT DOES YOUR USERNAME MEAN? HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH IT?

My username is Brazilian Portuguese, and, roughly translated, means 'Sky Soldier.' I originally came up with it as the name for a character in a novel of mine. This character was a massive golden eagle, partnered with a knight who could command the wind and clouds. When I joined this website a year later, I was wracking my brain for something unique and inventive, so I went through all of my book characters and finally decided on the golden eagle's name. Actually, I almost settled on the name 'Ralyna,' which means 'Stealth,' but I decided that 'Sky Soldier' sounded awesomer. XD

HAVE YOU EVER COME UP WITH ANY ORIGINAL CODES OR LANGUAGES?

I have four languages of my own: Iltna, Tilgua, a written form of Ancient Hylian, and Shaekar. They're still incomplete, though, so don't be asking me to give you the full grammar and sentence structures of those tongues. I also once made up a code, but I never use it unless I want to write a document that I don't want anyone else to be able to understand.

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE PRIVATE MESSAGING SYSTEM?

Well...if you're curious about the name of a character in one of my stories, then PM me and ask how I came up with it. If you spot any inaccuracies or spelling errors in ANY of my stories, then PM me and tell me, and tell me where it is so that I can fix it. You can just copy-and-paste the sentence that the misspelled word is in and tell me which story and chapter it's in, if you want, unless you like being super-specific. RedNemi does that a lot, so I'm used to it. Also PM me if you spot a spelling error in this profile that you're reading. You can also just PM me if you're bored and want to talk, though I can't guarantee that I'll be able to sound perfectly sane while communicating with you. I'm kinda...abstract. XD I do have a real life outside of this computer, and that requires that I get a sane amount of sleep, which means if I abruptly stop replying to you, it's probably because I went to bed. I try to keep friendly relations with the people on this website, but I can't stay up past midnight to talk to people who, for all I know, are on the other side of the world. Just remember: it might be midday or the afternoon where you are, but it might be midnight where I am.

WHAT ANIMALS DO YOU LIKE?

I love all animals. Even spiders and creepy-crawlies have their own form of scary, scream-worthy beauty. snakes, lizards, turtles, crocadilians, frogs, toads, salamanders, newts, cats, otters, dragons, rats, and birds. Especially snakes and lizards. Wait, didn't I already mention lizards at the beginning of this thing? As you may have guessed, I'm a huge lover of all herps.

WHILE WE'RE ON THIS SUBJECT, HOW MANY ANIMALS DO YOU HAVE?

Um...a dog, two cats, a rabbit, three lizards, a snake, a lot of fish(I never bothered counting them), a mouse, and six chickens. My house is known for being a zoo. XD

DO YOU REVIEW THE STORIES YOU READ? DO YOU LIKE GETTING REVIEWS?

I do try to review all stories that I read, yes. However, due mostly to a twisted time schedule on my part, I tend to just read as far as possible, then provide a good, sensible, and constructive review at the last chapter. I will review as much as I can, but sometimes, I simply don't have enough time to provide you with a good review on every chapter, and I absolutely refuse to just write something lazy like 'good job' or 'really nice fic so far.' I prefer to provide details. As you've probably noticed while reading my crazily long profile. Do I like getting reviews? What writer doesn't? If you read one of my stories, then please, by all means, review it! I don't appreciate flamers, though, and I will report any flames as abuse or spam. No, I'm not being a wimp, I just don't feel like putting up with that kind of crap every time I check the reviews that I get. Sometimes, if I find an excellent story, but I don't have time to read it, then I'll just favorite and follow that story, then return to it another day. I did that with a Robin Hood fanfiction. I STILL haven't read it due to business, but I'll get around to it...someday. So if I've faved or followed one of your stories, but I haven't reviewed it yet, then I WILL get around to it, I just haven't had enough time to read through it and provice a good, constructive review.

WHAT'S YOUR WORLDVIEW?

...I dislike politics. I actively oppose evolution and promote creationism. I will be glad to talk to you on the subject, and no, I will not start insulting anyone. I always stay strictly professional in my conversations on Creation/Evolution so as not to hurt anyone's feelings. I am also a Christian, and willing to talk to anyone about God, but no, I'm not going to ram my beliefs down your throat.

WHAT BOOKS, TV SHOWS, AND MOVIES DO YOU LIKE?

Favorite Book Series: Fablehaven, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, The Hobbit, Merlin's Dragon Trilogy, Lost Years of Merlin Series, Redwall, Guardians of Ga'Hoole, Homelander Series, Dragons In Our Midst, Warriors, The Last Dragon Chronicles, Newpointe 911, Glint...more to come soon. XD

Favorite Movies: How To Train Your Dragon, Legend of the Guardians, Wreck-It- Ralph, Megamind, Ratatouille, Tangled, The Lion King, The Lion King II, Treasure Planet, August Rush, Titan A.E., Pirates of the Caribbean, Meet the Robinsons, Piglet's Big Movie, The Amazing Spider-Man, To Save A Life, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, The Hobbit, iRobot...more to come soon. XD

Favorite TV Shows: Person of Interest, Merlin, No Ordinary Family, Elementary, NCIS: Los Angeles, NCIS, Hawaii Five-O, and Stargate: Atlantis.

WHO ARE YOUR FAVORITE AUTHORS?

My favorite authors are: T.A. Barron, Brandon Mull, J.R.R. Tolkein, C.S. Lewis, Brian Jacques, Terri Blackstock, Karen Kingsbury, William Paul Young, Kyle Idleman, Francis Chan, David Platt, ect...

WHAT ABOUT YOUR FANFICTIONS?

Concerning my noble profession of storytelling: I tend to write a lot throughout the week. However, if I spend too much time focused on one particular story, I will get severe writer's block mainly because I've been focusing on it too much. I'm usually working on quite a few different stories at once, so please, if you have found a story of mine that you like, but it isn't complete yet, then wait patiently. Trust me, I always finish what I've started, but sometimes it may take me a while to do so. Occasionally, I'll discontinue one of my stories, which pretty much just means that it's on hold for now, but I plan on finishing it someday. I never trash a story unless it is actually deserving of the title 'trash.' If you have found a story that I discontinued, then know this: I WILL finish it some day. I just have more pressing matters to do first(Or a severe, crippling form of writer's block). And sorry, but because of my crazy, psychotic brain, I am always working on at least three stories at once, so forgive me if I take forever to complete the one. On the bright side, at least I can focus without screwing up the timelines and stuff.

DO YOU EVER DEDICATE YOUR STORIES TO ANYONE? DO YOU PUT DISCLAIMERS ON YOUR STORIES?

Well, all of my stories are dedicated to various people, yes. Most often it's the person I was thinking of when I began that story, or the person who's helped me with my story the most. Or it could be dedicated to someone completely random, heh heh. XD I put disclaimers on the first chapter of my stories only. I see no need to keep repeating stuff every time I start a new chapter; if you need to reread the disclaimer, then just go back to the first chapter. Although, if you're even reading fanfiction, then chances are, you already know who owns what. So sometimes I get kinda lazy and forget to put a disclaimer and dedication on the front of my book. Sorry about that. I'll try to do better. :o)

SEE IF YOU CAN GUESS WHAT THIS IS EXPLAINING:

"...it's about this ten-year-old green kid, no, it's not the kid that's green, he wears a green tunic-thing with a pointy hat, looks kind of like an elf with a tiny sword and a wooden shield. Well, yeah, basically he gets kicked out of his home by a talking tree who wants him to save the world and he gets stuck with a blue fairy that never shuts up and he has to endure everything from living skeletons to ghosts so that he can fight this ugly dude who laughs a lot and rescue the moronic princess who can't fend for herself and he eventually becomes the greatest hero who ever lived and after that gets sucked into another realm by an imp-thing and has to save yet another universe...did I mention that he can time-travel?"

MY VIEWS OF THE SHEIK/ZELDA GENDER DEBATE; PLEASE DO NOT SKIP OVER AND READ WITH AN OPEN MIND:

I firmly believe that Sheik and Zelda are two, separate people. I have reasons to believe this. However, rather than struggle to explain, I shall copy-and-paste the argument of another person who supports the theory of Sheik and Zelda being two separate people who were raised together. These are her/his words, not mine, but I agree wholeheartedly:

1) The canon evidence is very, very ambiguous. You cannot forget this - if it wasn't ambiguous, there'd be no argument! Zelda's statement after she appears at the Temple of Time? "I apologize for meeting you in disguise" - the way it's worded isn't specific on whether it's just this one time or whether it had been the entire time. Quite frankly, it can be either.

There are a few different possible scenarios based on what little canon we do have.

1) Zelda is just wearing drag and changes cosmetic differences (why I think this isn't possible is in the next point).
2) Zelda transforms herself entirely in to a male body (which means that, no, 'Sheik' will not be hiding a pair of boobs under that skintight bodysuit).
3) Sheik is an entirely separate person from Zelda and the only time Zelda disguised herself is at the Temple of Time.
4) Sheik is an entirely separate person from Zelda and magic is used to hide Zelda's soul in his body for a time.
5) The manga canon - it's a magical transformation, Sheik is a construct of some form, and Zelda's mind is sealed away (or, alternatively, aware). Which begs the question, if her mind is sealed away like in the manga - whose mind is in control?

I've stuck with explanation number three.

And finally, within the scope of the game, Sheik is clearly meant to be seen as a male character by others. Ruto refers to him as male both in the English and in the Japanese, and so the common rebuttal is, "Well, Ruto must be wrong or lying". What's the point? Link clearly sees Sheik as male, since he didn't exactly look astonished at Ruto's statement. Sheik is hardly a feminine figure to other characters, then.

2) Sheik has a masculine body. Zelda has a feminine body. There's no room for interpretation here - the four official artworks featuring Sheik show muscled arms and legs, broad shoulders, and narrow hips. The official art for Zelda shows slim arms (it doesn't show her legs, but I doubt they're as muscled as Sheik's) and a far smaller hips-to-shoulders ratio.

Additionally, binding? Not a good idea, and not realistic, either. It does not give you the build Sheik has. Not to mention the fact that binding only with ace bandages is actually extremely dangerous for long periods of time (distorting ribs, producing severe breathing problems, and even potentially causing heart failure if worn for too long, and wearing bandages when sleeping can cause them to tighten and cause sleep apnea), and should only be done with bandages at least six inches wide (otherwise, they are prone to slipping frequently - like every ten minutes or with pretty much any arm movement - and Sheik jumps around too much for slippage to be an issue). They're also pretty ineffective, even for chests as small as A-cups, with people who bind describing the final look as 'weird', 'lumpy', and that they 'hurt.'

Additionally, they have clear physical differences in terms of skill - quite aside from appearance, we can see that Sheik is capable of either a) jumping some height, or b) instantly teleporting somewhere high up (evidence: the cutscene at the lake, where he ends up at the top of a tree in about a second). When Link and Zelda are running from the castle at the end of the game and the castle is collapsing around them, Zelda gets trapped in a ring of fire. If she was simply Sheik in drag, then how come she can't simply jump/teleport out and free herself? It makes absolutely no sense her to stay in that ring unless she can't free herself, not when her - and Link's - life is at stake.

3) They show differing behavior when facing danger. Whenever a monster approaches or a boulder falls near Link when they're escaping the castle, Zelda gasps and yelps a little. She is not very composed - and nothing wrong with that. Not everyone is a warrior, and she's had a rather harrowing seven years. But Sheik, during the Kakariko cutscene, attempts to take on an invisible monster that threatens Link with his bare hands. The fact that he fails is a moot point - he still tries it. No gasping and yelping involved. (Well. Until he gets thrown head first down a flight of stairs, and then I challenge you not to yelp!)

In a harrowing situation like both of those, there's no time or sense for pretense. If Sheik truly was Zelda, 'he' would have reacted in the same way Zelda reacts to danger in the castle. What we see at the well is Sheik's behaviour, not Zelda's.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been
with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth
records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: "Knowing
when to come in out of the rain," "Why the early bird gets the worm," "Life isn't
always fair," and "Maybe it was my fault."

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies(Don't spend more than
you can earn), and reliable strategies(Adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing
regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual
harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using
mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student
only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that
they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It
declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to
administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student, but could not inform
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband,
churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their
victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar
in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize
that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and
was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife,
Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility, and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers, I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To
Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized
he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the
majority and do nothing.

Rest in peace. We shall remember.

I TOOK A PERSONALITY QUIZ. IT WAS ABOUT 99% ACCURATE. WHICH FREAKED ME OUT.

Apparently, I have been classified as an "Analytical Thinker." Well, yes, that does describe me perfectly. XD

It said that I'm logical, original, and a creative thinker, and can become very excited about theories and ideas. That's true enough. It also said that I'm exceptionally capable and driven to turn theories into clear understandings, and I highly value knowledge, competence, and logic. That is also very true. Apparently I'm quiet and reserved, and hard to get to know well. That was also totally accurate. It also said that I'm individualistic, having no interest in leading or following others. I can say that that was not correct. I am perfectly fine with following. As for leading...nope. I'm not much of a leader. It also said that I'm highly analytical, and can discover connections between two seemingly unrelated things, and that I work best when I'm allowed to use their imagination and critical thinking. That was also correct. So it only got one thing wrong about me. Hello, Harold Finch. :P

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more.

I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird either behind her back or to her face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on Facebook or Twitter. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. But I am also the girl who knows and is proud of who she is, who doesn't care if people call her weird, who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do anymore, who can express herself better with small, subtle actions than with words, and who knows the importance of the little things. I am me, not just another faceless clone in the crowd.

You're a 90's kid if you remember when it was actually worth getting up on a Saturday to watch cartoons. If you remember when everything was settled with rock-paper-scissors or eenie-meenie-miny-moe. If you remember when we used to obey our parents. If you used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your favorite song of all time on tape. If you remember when Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis became popular. If you always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos...but were never able to actually tape anything funny. If you remember watching The Magic Schoolbus on PBS. If you remember when yo-yos were cool. If you remember those Where's Waldo? and I Spy books. If you remember watching the 1st Batman and Aladdin. If you collected those Beanie Babies. If you even know what an orignal Walkman actually was. If you remember playing on merry-go-rounds as a kid. If you remember when light-up sneakers were cool. If you remember when you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs. If you remember when we recorded stuff on VCRs. If you had slap bracelets. If you actually played outside until it was dark. Way back...before we all realized that this stuff would eventually disappear...I miss those days...

WHAT MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into next week!"

3. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.

4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

5. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

6. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

7. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

8. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

9. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"Your room looks like a tornado went through it."

10. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"I've told you a million times! Don't exaggerate!"

11. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world and I can take you out."

12. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

13. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

14. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

15. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

16. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; I know when you are cold."

17. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

18. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

19. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

20. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

21. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (A lot meaning all the time...)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask myself random things?')

When you talk to yourself, you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs!" (Not quite...)

You live off of sugar and caffeine. (The two greatest things ever discovered!)

Your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. (My poor friends...they gave up trying to understand my e-mails a long time ago.)

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it. (Again, I pity my friends.)

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper. (Well, no matter where I am in the house, I never have to leave the room to find a pen/pencil and paper. Sometimes I have to get up, although it's rare.)

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. ('Tis true! Heh heh heh!)

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome. (True, that.)

People think you have A.D.D. (Sometimes. It kinda depends on whether or not I've had my coffee and sugar yet.)

You think it'd be really cool to have A.D.D. (No comment)

You know you have A.D.H.D. (Almost.)

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense. (I talk in past tense, and occasionally third person. I despise present tense.)

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason. (I'm giggling as I write this. I think I will make a list like this! Hee hee hee!)

Your friends stopped looking at you funny when you laugh for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago. (Yep, my poor family thinks I lost my mind years ago.)

HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? (A really good point...)

Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed? (I'm not one-hundred-percent sure that this one is true, because I've never worn makeup.)

Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’? (Uh...because psychics don't exist?)

Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word? (There is an abbreviation for 'abbreviation' It's abv.)

Why is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’? (Ok, now I'm getting scared...)

Why is it that to stop Windows 7, you have to click on ‘Start’? (Hmm...I shall test that...wait, no! *crash*)

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons? (I have no idea)

Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker? (Exactly why I hate banks. My money is always nice and safe in a hidden vault inside my own house. Never trust a banker!!!)

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? (I dunno. Never tried driving through it.)

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food? (Because then the cat would feel the need to chase the food.)

When dog food is new and improved, who tests it? (The dogs. Duh. They have a bunch of them all locked up in little white cages in an insane asylum. Just kidding.)

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? (Why do they do injections at all? Beheading is so much quicker and less painful. Although it is messy...just ignore me, people. I've gone crazy.)

Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes? (Actually, insects can live through floods easily, so I don't think those two skeeters were even on the ark.)

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of the stuff? (Because then the plane would be too heavy to get off of the ground. Duh.)

Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains? (Because it's not hot water, it's cold water.)

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? (Because the people who live in them WISH that they were apart.)

If con is opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? (YESYESYES!!!!)

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? (I hereby resolve to NEVER fly in a plane.)

Why is it that, when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if there is a 'wet paint' sign somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure? (I've never done that myself, but I do know people who have.)

Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead? (Because we're all idiots.)

IMPORTANT ADVICE:

I would like to say something to all of you who read not only my stories, but other author's also. We, the authors that write FF, are not paid for it. We have no publishers, and no one to help us to make the publicity of our work. And that means that we have no sales statistics or critic's comments to know how good or bad the story is. We write because we love to do it and we love to share what are imagination can conjure. The only way we have to know if our story is good or bad is for you to let us know what you think about it. And for you to do that you have to leave us a review.

Review if you think the chapter is bad.
Review if you think the story sucks.
Review if you think the author needs to go and learn how to write.
Review if you love the story, or if you are in love with the main character.
Review to give your opinion and to make it known.
Review if you can't wait to know something, or to make the author answer a question.
No matter your reason, or how you do it, just leave a review. We all love to have your feedback.

BEST CONVERSATIONS OF ALL TIME:

The Lion King

"Yeah, be prepared! We'll all be prepared...for what?"
"For the death of the king!"
"Why, is he sick?"
"No, you fool, we're gonna kill him. "
"Hey, what a great idea!"

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

"Luke, I am your father."
"Nooooooooo!"

The Lion King

"Asante sana Squash banana; Wewe nugu mimi hapana."
"What's that supposed to mean, anyway?"
"It means 'You're a baboon, and I'm not.'"

THE BEAUTIFUL SPELLING OF JESUS

Before U were thought of or time had begun,
God stuck U in the name of His Son.
And each time U pray, you'll see it's true,
You can't spell out JesUs and not include U.

You're a pretty big part of His wonderful name,
For U, He was born; that's why He came.
And His great love for U is the reason He died.
It even takes U to spell crUcified.

Isn't it thrilling and splendidly grand
That He rose from the dead, with U in His plan?
The stones split away, the gold trUmpet blew,
And this word resUrrection is spelled with a U.

When JesUs left earth at His Upward ascension,
He felt there was one thing He just had to mention:
"Go into the world and tell them it's true
That I love them all - Just like I love U."

A NOTE TO GOD:

Even though my breakfast table never looks like the pictures in magazines, and the menu is at times unbalanced, thank you, Lord, for the food I have. There are many who are hungry.

Even though I clutch at my blanket and growl when the alarm rings, thank you, Lord, that I can hear. There are many who are deaf.

Even though I keep my eyes closed against the morning light as long as possible, thank you, Lord, that I can see. Many are blind.

Even though I huddle in my bed and put off rising, thank you, Lord, and I have the strength to rise. There are many who are bedridden.

Even though the first hour in my day is hectic, when socks are lost, toast is burned, tempers are short, and people are so loud, thank you, Lord, for my family. There are many who are lonely.

Even though the routine of my job is often monotonous, thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to work. There are many who have no job.

Thank you, Lord, that I have food in my pantry, ears to hear, eyes to see, strength to rise, family, and work.

Since the Pledge of Allegiance and the Lord's Prayer are not allowed in most public schools anymore because the word 'God' is mentioned...a kid in Arizona wrote the NEW School prayer:

"The New Pledge of Allegiance"

Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.
If scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.
Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That's no offense; it's a freedom scene..
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.
For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state.
We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks...
They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.
We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.
It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong..
We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles...
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.
It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!
Amen

Things That God WON'T Ask On The Last Day:

1: God won't ask what kind of car you drove. He'll ask how many people you drove who didn't have transportation.

2: God won't ask you the square footage of your house. He'll ask how many people you welcomed into your home.

3: God won't ask about the clothes you had in your closet. He'll ask how many people you helped clothe.

4: God won't ask you how high your salary was. He'll ask you if you compromised your character to obtain it.

5: God won't ask what your job title was. He'll ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability.

6: God won't ask how many friends you had. He'll ask how many people to whom you were a friend.

7: God won't ask what neighborhood you lived in. He'll ask how you treated your neighbors.

8: God won't ask about the color of your skin. He'll ask about the content of your character.

9: God won't ask what it took you so long to seek salvation. He'll lovingly take you to your mansion in Heaven, and not to the gates of Hell.

WOULD YOU RUN? IMAGINE THIS HAPPENING TO YOU:

One Sunday morning during service, a 2,000 member congregation was surprised to see two men enter...both covered from head to toe in black and carrying submachine guns.

One of the men proclaimed, "Anyone willing to take a bullet for Christ, remain where you are."

Immediately, the choir fled...the deacons fled...and most of the congregation fled.

Out of the 2,000 there only remained 20.

The man who had spoken took off his hood...then looked at the preacher and said with a smile, "Okay, Pastor, I got rid of all the hypocrites. Now you may begin your service. Have a nice day!"

And the two men turned and walked out.

It's funny how simple it is for people to trash God, and then wonder why the world is in the condition it is today.
It's funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.
It's funny how everyone wants to go to Heaven...provided they do not have to believe, think, say, or do anything the Bible says
It's funny how someone can say 'I believe in God," but still follow Satan, who by the way, also 'believes' in God.
It's funny how you can send a thousand 'funny jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, you think twice about sharing.
It's funny how the lewd, crude, vulgar, and obscene pass freely though cyberspace, but the public discussion of Jesus is forbidden in the school and workplace.
Funny, isn't it? Are you thinking? Will you share this with people you care about? Or not? I picked you!

The Good Samaritan:

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class, in detail, the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"

A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence. "I think I'd throw up."

Did Noah Fish?

A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?"

"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms."

The Lord Is My Shepherd

A Sunday school teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible: Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous.

When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."

Being Thankful

A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?"

The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"

The Bible

Did you know that...

When you carry the Bible, Satan has a headache.
When you open it, he collapses.
When he sees you reading it, he faints.
Let's read the Bible every day so that he keeps on fainting.
Maybe one day he'll have a stroke and never wake up!

Question...

A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the boy asked.

"He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied.

The boy thought for a moment, then said, "Did God throw him back down?"

Dinner

A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"

"I wouldn't know what to say, Mommy," the girl replied.

"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.

The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on Earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

100 Questions

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? I was working at the animal shelter, cat freaked out because of some dogs and gave me a perfect, crescent-shaped scar on my elbow. XD

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? Posters and paint.

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP? I only snore if I happen to have a cold. Other than that, the answer is no.

4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? Any genre but screamo.

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN? Around 9:00 in the morning, exact time unknown.

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? A female corn snake.

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS? Sanity.

8. WHAT ARE YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSIONS? My Bible, my brain, my reptiles, and my notebooks.

9. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5 foot something...maybe five foot three?

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC? Sometimes. Depends on whether or not there's an escape route.

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK? Nope. I'm a confirmed nocturnal.

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY? Does my evil math textbook count as a person?

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PERFUME FOR A GIRL? Not my area of expertise. The idea of spraying scented chemicals onto my body mades me shudder.

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX? I really don't care about physical features on anyone. I care more about someones personality than their looks.

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO? Nowhere, really. I don't even have a boyfriend. Besides, I'm only a teenager. :P

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK? Coffee. It's healthier.

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING? Cheese.

18. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Chocolate? Please?

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED? My Bible, as far as I can remember.

22. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY? I kinda fell in love with Lorian from The Transformation and Allegiance. XD

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED? Nah. If I was, I'd have fun freaking out my friends.

24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND? That brand that makes clothes.

26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW? Yes: Aylah, Arius, Henry, Maticus...

27. WHAT KIND IS IT? A female high yellow lavender leopard gecko, a male banana blizzard leopard gecko, a male wild type corn snake, and a male Savannah(Bosc's) monitor.

28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING? If he was leaving for a good cause, then most likely.

29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU? Walk up to that someone and tell them bluntly in plain English, Spanish, French, German, or whatever language you both speak...

30. CAN YOU SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED? I can. That doesn't mean I will.

31. BLONDS OR BRUNETTES? Brunettes, because that's my hair color. Oh, looky, you just learned something new about me. How fascinating.

32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL MOST OFTEN? I hate phones. But that number would be my mom's number.

33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST? Bad grammar, punctuation, spelling, ect.

34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA? No.

35. YOUR WEAKNESSES? Lizards and snakes. I melt whenever I see them.

36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS? I've never personally walked up to and talked to anyone famous, no.

37. FIRST JOB? I work with a reptile breeder, but that doesn't really seem like a job so much as fun. XD

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL? No, as I've mentioned before, I don't like phones.

41.WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE FILLING THIS OUT? Writing.

40. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY? Nope.

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST? I'd say the thing people compliment me about the most is my knowledge.

43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? No, thankfully.

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? A female corn snake.

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT? Uh...I'm only sixteen, people. Not planning THAT far ahead.

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Yes, but I'm not telling you who...

47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? No.

49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE? I have no idea. It gets my hair clean; that's all I care about.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Well, I can read it well enough, but I dunno about anyone else...

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Balogna. :P

52. ANY BAD HABITS? I tend to flick my thumb and index finger against each other when I'm bored or impatient. I also bite the inside of my cheek when I'm deep in thought or concentrating.

53 WHAT CD ARE YOU MOST EMBARRASSED TO HAVE ON YOUR SHELF? Can't think of any right now.

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Only if that other person liked reptiles as much as I do...

56. DO LOOKS MATTER? No. I care more about character and personality.

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER? By doing extensive training with my sword.

58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME? Wherever Lorian is. XD

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? Does my backyard count?

61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE? I'm not answering that.

62. WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A KID? I'll kill you, you'll kill me, let's tie Barney to a tree. With an arrow to his butt and a gun to his head, let's all hope that Barney's dead.

63. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Depends on who I'm talking to.

64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE? Mashed potatoes.

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL? Uh...not answering that.

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? My sister-in-law dubbed me The Lizard, for obvious reasons. My best friend calls me either Slicker or Sandfire, both due to games we played as kids. My sister calls me Shortstop, even though neither of us like sports. My mom refers to me as the Snake Girl because I like to do my school with my corn snake wrapped around my neck. My dad calls me 'Wikipedia,' also for obvious reasons. My great uncle refers to me as Walking Trouble.

67. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE BAND/SINGER? I have multiple favorites. Main ones are Thousand Foot Krutch, Tobymac, Lecrae, David Crowder, Hearts of Saints, Chris Sligh, and Anthem Lights.

68. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? Person of Interest.

69. WHAT WAS YOUR ACT/SAT SCORE? Over 90%.

70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? White Lightning!

71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES? Well, let's see, my right index finger was cut off by Ganondorf, and my big toe was eaten by a Blue Chu Chu; my pinkie was severed by an angry Moblin...

72. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT? Sword training yesterday morning.

73. DID YOU NOTICE THAT THERE WAS NO #64? Where did you learn to count? #64 was there; it was the mashed potatoes and macaroni question.

74. WHAT'S THE FASTEST YOU HAVE GONE IN A CAR? I honestly don't know.

75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS? I really do not care. It's be cool if some of my friends on this website did, but I don't care either way.

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO? The Lightning Strike, by Snow Patrol, from their album "A Hundred Million Suns."

77. LAST THING YOU DRANK? Ice coffee.

78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Sheik.

79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX? Their eyes.

80. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG? Probably would be 'Emmanuel,' by Hearts of Saints. One of my newest favorite bands.

81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE? Neglectful reptile owners. I HATE it when people get bored with a pet and decide to starve it to death so that they won't have to take care of it anymore!

82. FAVORITE MONTH OF THE YEAR? April or September.

83. FAVORITE CONSTELLATION? Orion the Hunter. Probably because I'm so obsessed with Samus Aran and Luke Cardassia and Nero Chase and Arita Seyana and...

85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? Kind of a dark chocolate brown color...

86. EYE COLOR? Sigh...do I really have to answer that? It depends on the lighting.

89. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT? Wendy's, because you can trust them to not give you food poisoning.

90. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI? Sushi can give you tapeworms, you know.

91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED? The Bourne Identity. The soundtrack for that movie is really cool.

92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? Probably any day in May, June, September, or October

93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS? A harmonica.

94. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT? I'll vote for whoever I think is the most moral, intelligent person who can run this country without crashing it into the ground. So I'm not strictly either, but I tend to lean more towards Republicans.

95. KISSES OR HUGS? Neither. My preferred greeting is a shoulder-punch. I'll tolerate hugs, but only from family members and closest friends. I rarely initiate one myself, though.

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? Relationships.

97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? A seven-month-old, banana blizzard, male leopard gecko. XD

98. WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU HAVE? I don't drive yet.

99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? Martin the Warrior, by Brian Jacques

100. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE: I have none. Yes, that sounds stupid, but it's hard to find a guy who's willing to put up with a talkative nerd who comes with two leopard geckos, a Savannah monitor, and a four-foot-long corn snake.

MOST HATED LEGEND OF ZELDA CHARACTERS:

1: The Great Fairy (Ocarina of Time version. She's not so bad in Wind Waker or Twilight Princess, though.)

2: Ilia (Did you guys know that Ilia is a boy's name, not a girl's name? I'm firmly against any Link/Ilia ships.)

3: Kotake (With the Twinrova raising him, it's no wonder Ganondorf became as messed-up as he was.)

4: Koume (See above explanation.)

5: Deku Princess (I know there's no real reason to hate her, but her lisp or whatever it is gets on my nerves.)

6: Makar (The spud is always getting himself eaten. And the rattling sound he makes when he walks gets on my nerves.)

7: Medli (Her wings are cool, but that's about it. She's kind of a ditz.)

8: Princess Zelda (I know, I've got about a dozen people thirsting for my blood after this one, but I'm unrepentant. She's not so bad in Twilight Princess, but I didn't like her in Wind Waker or Ocarina of Time. And she looks stupid in Skyward Sword.)

9: Tingle (I swear he's a pedophile or something. Why else would he follow Link around Termina while tied to a balloon?)

10: The Postman (That's either underwear or spandex that he's wearing, but either way, it's a big facepalm. And he's irresponsible with the mail. Honestly, feeding letters to goats, dropping mail into water...)

11: Ingo (His eyebrows scare me.)

12: Talon (I just get annoyed at how you have to wait a day and a night every time just to wake him up.)

13: Beth (She's creepy. Twilight Princess Beth, not the Poe Sister Beth.)

14: The Doctor (Whatever his name is, that dude in Twilight Princess who's a quack and a ripoff.)

15: Falbi (THE most terrifying LoZ character ever created! *shudder*)

16: Wind Waker Ganondorf (He's fat and creepy.)

17: Telma (She just...scares me.)

18: Ruto (WHY would a Zora fall in love with a Hylian? That makes no sense!)

19: Rauru (He's not really that bad, except I have a suspicion that he's really Kaepora Gaebora in disguise, and Tannin Starflare hates him, so I hate him.)

20: Link (I'm referring to Darunia's son here, not the green-clad Link that we all know and love. You do NOT name a Goron after a Hylian. You just...don't.)

21: King of Red Lions (I think he's really Sean Connery in disguise)

22: Midna (Only when she's in her true form. She's okay as an imp, though.)

23: Niko (His 'challenges' are so easy that it's pathetic. All this guy really does is waste your time.)

24: Valoo (That dragon is seriously out of proportion. And since when do dragons have tiny fairy wings?)

25: Fyer (He scares me.)

26: Jabu-Jabu/Jabun (Only in LoZ would a whale be a dungeon. *facepalm*)

27: Bokoblins (They're kind of the most pointless enemy in every LoZ game. I swear, Nintendo just sticks them in various places all over Hyrule Field/Great Sea just to annoy us.)

28: Malo (Beware of a two-year-old who can run his own franchise and invent brainwashing music.)

MOST LOVED LEGEND OF ZELDA CHARACTERS:

1: Sheik (I firmly believe that Sheik is male, and a separate entity from Zelda. Zelda impersonated him to give Link the Light Arrows, but every other time you ever see him, it's Sheik, not Zelda.)

2: Link (Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask version. He's too serious in Twilight Princess.)

3: Dark Link (I love exploring his character in-depth, but no, I don't believe that he's just some lost, demonic soul. He's something...far more complex.)

4: Death Mountain Trail Guard (AKA, Tannin Starflare. XD)

5: Japas (I love his bass guitar and his punk-rock attitude.)

6: Impa (Scariest ally ever. XD)

7: Grog (He's just...awesome. No reason why, really. Actually, JesusLover13 is the reason. XD)

8: Malon (For some reason, she's adorable.)

9: Keaton (This fox is epic. He needs to be in more games.)

10: Navi (Yes, I know, most people hate her, but she's hilarious.)

11: Auru (I have a sneaking suspicion about him...)

12: Rusl (I love how he and Link are like brothers, and yet at the same time they have a father/son relationship.)

13: Colin (I don't know why, but I like him. He's adorable)

14: Kafei (Darn kid's sidequest is so darn hard to complete that I admire him for it.)

15: Tatl (I used to hate her, but now I love her because of my 100-Themes story.)

16: Romani (Who doesn't love someone who refers to themselves in third-person and has a fascination with aliens? XD)

17: Cremia (I like her conversation that she has with Link on the milk cart. For some reason, I like her personality.)

18: Evan (The bandleader. His personality kinda bugs me, but I like to enter his room and listen to him playing the piano. It's very relaxing.)

19: Skull Kid (You have to respect someone who almost destroyes an entire world and is good at playing the flute.)

20: Majora (I don't know why, but this mask creeps me out in a humorous way. I like his whip attacks.)

21: The Five Froggy Tenors (I love frogs. 'Nuff said.)

22: Stalfos (For some reason, they are scarily cool enemies.)

23: Darknuts (The Twilight Princess versions.)

24: Ralis (He almost dies, and then helps you catch a giant, smelly fish. I think he's cool.)

25: Rutela (The Zora Queen. She's so graceful, and I love how you hear the Serenade of Water playing while she's present.)

26: Talo (I love how, at first, he's a bratty kid, but then he grows and matures and genuinely does his best.)

27: Ashei (I have my own theories about her origins and stuff, but she's also a really cool, hard-core swordmaster.)

28: Shad (He's kind of adorable. To be honest, I have my theories about his origins, too. XD)

29: Fado (At first, I couldn't care less about him. I just thought his minigame of herding the goats was fun. Then I read Hasenpfeffer's story and got hooked on him. XD)

DO YOU RECOMMEND ANY FANFICTIONS?

Event's In Fado's Barn, by Hasenpfeffer (A humorous and endearing tale of Fado's mishaps with various visitors.)

Trampled, by GeminiGemelo (The Lion King, an AU fic with Scar/Taka & Mufasa)

Spying On Cucco Boy, by JesusLover13 (Legend of Zelda, a humor fic with Grog, Link, & Romani)

Shadow of the Hero, by Bookwrm389 (Legend of Zelda, a canonical, multi-genre fic with Link & Female Sheik)

The Hanging Tree, by BadLuckCat (The Lorax, a semi-canonical romance with the Once-ler & an OC)

The Curse, by Roderik (Legend of Zelda, an adventure fic about the origins of the Garo)

Tenacity, by Kabrex (Legend of Zelda, an adventure/romance fic of epic proportions with Link & an OC)

Fablehaven reads Fablehaven, by 1238904756 (Fablehaven, a humorous, yet astonishly accurate fic showing the reactions of the book characters)

I Need A New Lock, by White Belt Writer (Elementary, a realistic humor fic with Sherlock & Joan Watson)

Love In A Hopeless Place, by LegendOfThunder (Legend of Zelda, a serious, kind of melancholy, astonishing AU fic with Link & Zelda)

LOL, by TheMoonclaw (Legend of Zelda, a humor fic showing oneshots of random moments in all the LoZ games)

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, The Novel, by zeldamaster8472 (Legend of Zelda, THE best novelization of the OoT game I've ever seen. And trust me, I've read literally hundreds of versions)

Sessions with Madness, by wouldyouliketoseemymask (Batman Begins/Dark Knight, a horror fic that made my hair stand on end about Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow & an Arkham doctor)

Parks, Cereal and People Watching, by eclecticdinosaurs (Elementary, a well-written, serious, yet humorous oneshot with Sherlock & Joan Watson)

The Woes of the Eternally Bored, by FancyFreeThinker101 (Megamind, an awesome romance fic with Bernard & an OC)

Protegit Ergo Amat, by Clever Lass (Pirates of the Carribean, a romance fic with Jack & Elizabeth, really well-written & realistic)

A Metroid Parody, by TheMostRandomOfRandomWriters (Metroid, a humorous account of what SHOULD'VE happened on the Bottle Ship with Samus, Adam, & Anthony)

Dark Horse, by abrynne (Person of Interest, an epic fanfiction with Reese, Finch, & an OC. Make sure you read all of the Dark Horse series by abrynne)

Her Prodigy, by Wrinkled Fabric (August Rush, a really sweet and well-written fic from Hope's point of view about August/Evan)

Believe me, there are many more I'd like to recommend, but this list is getting long, so just look at my favorites tab beneath my profile for the full list. :o)

"The Melody of Souls," written by Ceu Praca, copyrighted to the aforementioned author, to the tune of "Ancient Words" by Michael W. Smith:

"Ever clear, ever bright,
Stars burning through the night.
Heroes rising, evil falling,
Fairies laughing, spirits dancing.

Light is flooding, darkness fading,
Children singing through the ages
When those who have long been gone
Return again to lead us on.

Guardians of the farthest hills
Bring us hope when we cry.
Silver lights do guide our paths
To water's flow of sacred life.

Fire's shadow, watching us,
Forest child, protect us all,
Desert paths open now
To guide you ever ever on.

Crimson eye now stained with tears,
All of them now slowly fade.
Guide of darkness, watch him now,
Keep him safe through every day.

One born under flaring star
Brings certain death to evil some way.
Dragon's breath burns dark one's power,
Dragon's wings deal final blow."

A place is worth a thousand pictures...

It was once said by a wise man, "A picture is worth a thousand words," but photographers have experienced the epiphany of "A single place is worth a thousand pictures." We don't have to go on a safari to take awesome pictures. If you can't see the immense beauty in the here and now, neither will you see it where you want to see it. Wherever you are right now, take a moment to meditate on your immediate surroundings, observing everything around you. Beauty is all around us, but most of the time we are blind to it. Again, photography is about appreciating the beauty of your own reality rather than appreciating someone else's beauty. A photo that says "I'm too good for you" has hijacked the art of photography. Don't take your camera on 'an adventure' until you've exhausted the beauty of your here and now.

A photo shouldn't be better than you...

Photography as an art form? It's not merely aesthetic. The purpose of photography is to magnify beauty, of which you can only appreciate a speck of it without the perspective of a mystic. Photography RESPECTS beauty, it doesn't seek to rape it. Photography seduces you into the ecstasy of the here and now, and it can't do so if the photo is better than you. A photo isn't supposed to portray a reality that you yourself can't experience. A photo that's too good actually sucks...it belittles your own daily experience. Good photography shares with you a perspective of your here and now that you've never seen before. A good photo gives you a more whole experience of your daily reality. Next time you look at a photo, give notice to how that photo makes you feel. Does it make you feel good about yourself, or does it make you feel terrible about yourself?

THE COPY-AND-PASTE SECTION:

If you've ever stayed up WAY past midnight to finish a book...copy and paste this.

If your the kind of person who gets home and immediately runs to your bedroom to give your pet snake a hug, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are STUPID, then copy and paste this into your profile. (STUPID: Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand)

If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

98% of authors confuse "you're" and "your." If you're one of the 2% who knows how to tell them apart, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you tend to talk to yourself, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.

If you have an exceedingly long profile because of copy-and-paste items, copy and paste this into your profile to make it even longer.

If people think you are mentally hilarious...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wanted to go into a book and slap/scream at a character copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are one of the 99% of people who copy and paste stuff into their profile 'just because,' then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love Legend of Zelda and are 100 percent proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hear the voices of your characters in your head, please copy and paste this into your profile.

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientist's likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, kailover 2006, Iluvbeyblade, Lamanth, AnimeGirl329, Kathleen-chan, Life is a Highway66, moviemanic122893, Ham-Kelly- now Chibi Corn Chip, DolphinInsomniac 15, Cosplay Chan, Umbreon Mastah, Mind Seeker, Dewdrop13, Medalis, Starrgrl24, The Great Mikey Weston, Ceu Praca

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you are guilty of doing a British, Irish, Australian, Southern accent or Elvis impression, copy this in your profile. (With me, it's Southern, Irish, and Australian.)

If you like reading fanfics, copy and paste this.

If you've ever copied something from someone else's profile, copy this onto your profile!

If you're one of those people that gets excited with just two reviews, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're anti-social sometimes, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe spelling and grammar are important, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you and your friends have nicknames, titles, or anything else for each other copy this to your profile.

If you think rainbows are wonderful, post this in your profile.

If you fix typos in copy and pastes, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have music in your soul, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've read other people's profiles to copy and paste things, paste this into your profile.

If sometimes your fanfics seem to write themselves, copy this into your profile.

If you think it's stupid that girls are associated with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile.

If you are a Nintendo fan to your very core, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you find yourself making fanfictions of other fanfictions in your head, post this in your profile.

If you absolutely hate it when someone posts a sad, heartfelt, or cool story and then says that you must be heartless or something if you don't repost or forward the story, then copy and paste this on your profile. And by the way, guilt-tripping me into reposting something is actually a really good way to get me to NOT repost something.

If you don't fit the description of the non-existent word of 'normal', then put this into your profile right now!

If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because your a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you threaten inanimate objects, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile. (Although with me, it's more like two novels a day. :) My favorites are the books by Terri Blackstock.)

If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventilated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever written stuff on your car windows when they're covered in condensation, copy this to your profile.

If you read your own stories or profile just for the heck of it,copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have authors you respect, copy and paste this to your profile. (Brandon Mull, T.A. Barron, Terri Blackstock, Ted Dekker, Brian Jacques)

If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you weird, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess. She was kind, caring and polite like all princesses were. She lived in a castle far away. One day, while she was picking flowers, a dragon captured her and took her to his lair that was hidden far from the kingdom. She stayed with the dragon for months. Then one day a handsome knight in shining armor came and shouted "FEAR NOT FAIR MAIDEN! I AM HERE TO RESCUE YOU FROM THIS FOUL BEAST!" 95% of girls would scream "MY HERO!" If you're one of the 5% who would say "No thanks, I'm good here" paste this onto your profile.

If you're a girl who loves all reptiles and is proud of it, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that Uther Pendragon would accuse a rock of sorcery if he tripped on it, paste this on your profile.

If you are hardcore obsessed with a show, movie, or book, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever tripped over air, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste onto your profile.

If you want your favorite fictional characters to exist, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hear the voices of characters in your head, put this onto your profile.

If you've ever been called a bookworm and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile.

If FanFiction to you is what Facebook is to other people, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both... copy and paste this on your profile.