|
| zuzuthezombie |
Author has written 17 stories for Doctor Who, School of Rock, Arrietty/借りぐらしのアリエッティ, Kingdom Hearts, Mysterious Benedict Society series, Invader Zim, Jhonen Vasquez, True Meaning of Smekday, Six of Hearts series, Misc. Books, and Web Shows. I'M NOT A NERD, I'M AN INTELLECTUAL BADASS. HAN SOLO SHOT FIRST. ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US. THERE AIN'T NO PARTY LIKE A TIME LORD PARTY BECAUSE A TIME LORD PARTY IS NOT BOUND BY TYPICAL TEMPORAL PARAMETERS AND THUS DON'T STOP. KILTS MAKE EVEN THE MANLIEST MAN EVEN MORE MANLIER. FAILURE IS FOR HUMANS.
Epic sax guy! Ollo! I'm zuzuthezombie! Okay, so, a little bit about me: TV shows: Doctor Who, Psych, Doctor Who, Spongebob, Doctor Who, Hey Arnold!, Invader Zim, The Colony, Fruits Basket, Death Note Books: The Mysterious Benedict Society Series, the Fablehaven series, Percy Jackson and the Olympians series, the Secret Series, Gregor The Overlander series, The Hobbit, His Dark Materials series, The Book Thief (read it, it will make you cry), Malice books, Leviathan, Dark Life series, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Ender's Game (can't wait for movie!!), Six of Hearts series, The True Meaning of Smekday, Color: red, blue, green, pretty much any color except for brown Food: spaghetti, meat, ketchup, chocolate, NUTELLA! NUTELLA NUTELLA! NUTELLANUTELLANUTELLANUTELLA! Games: Kingdom Hearts, Epic Mickey, Animal Crossing: City Folk Movies: Megamind (OH MY GOSH MEGAMIND IS MY MOST FAVORITE MOVIE EVER!!! (COPY AND PASTE THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE IF YOU AGREE.)), the Harry Potter movies, Lord Of The Rings trilogy, Despicable Me, Up, Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs, Kung Fu Panda movies, Coraline, Rise of the Guardians, District 9, Music: Mumford & Sons, Fun., Guided By Voices, The Shins, The Beatles, Chumbawamba, Elliott Smith, Burlap To Cashmere, MGMT, Oasis, The Postal Service, Mike Doughty Some of my favorite songs (In order by rank): Drops of Jupiter, Been Caught Stealing, Welcome to the Jungle, Little Lion Man, Kids, Grey Ghost, Your Misfortune, Roll Away Your Stone, Some Nights, Girls and Boys Important Note: Ahem! If I could gather your attention please! Thank you! Now, to begin-*someone coughs* yes, please get that out of your system before I begin...*cough cough cough coughcoughcoughCOUGH!!!* ready? Good! Now, as I was saying-*cough cough* again, please stop. Now, where was I? Oh yes-*cough* (sigh) SECURITY!!! Now! Without further ado, I would just like to say that I am willing to offer my betareading services to anyone who is writing stories about these topics: Megamind, Doctor Who, Spongebob Squarepants, Kung Fu Panda, The Secret World of Arrietty, and anything K through T. Please refer to my beta profile for anything else. Another Notice: Okay, my fictionpress name is BOOM Tuesday! PAAAIIIIRRRRIINGSSSS!!!! These ones are the only ones that I like, most others, NO WAY!!! Although, Rhondigan is okay, I just don't like it all that much. Megamind: Roxanne/Megamind Doctor Who: 9/Rose, 10/Rose, Amy/Rory, 11/River Invader Zim: ZaDr, ZaGir Mysterious Benedict Society: Kaynie, Milligan/OC, Kate/Sticky, Reynie/Sticky The Secret World of Arrietty: Arrietty/Spiller, Homily/Pod Psych: Jules/Shaun Fruits Basket: Haru/Tohru, Ayame/Shigure, Yukiru, Kyo/Tohru, Haru/Kyo, Yuki/Kyo Death Note: L/Light, Matt/Mello, L/Misa Six of Hearts series: Six/Kyntak, Six/Two, Ace/Two, KH/QH Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Ford/Arthur Sherlock: Johnlock, Mycroft/Lestrade Rise of the Guardians: Jack/Bunny, Jack/Pitch, Jack/Sandy Random: Dexter/Johann Yes, I have hair. Yes, I have colored hair. Colored as in splotches of red and reddish/purple. Yes, I have eyes. They see very well. I also have: face (nose, mouth, ears, etc.), head, body, legs, arms, feet, hands, fingers, toes, the usual stuff that a human has. And, yes, before you ask, I am female. If you find out anymore about me that I don't tell you and I don't know you... STALKER!!! The only people who I know on this site are heavenseed, what IN THE WORLD is ToVo, Kuoni Hakuto, and shadow13579. The reasoning behind my name: My sister calls me Zuzu, and my mom was like "If you start a band, you have to call it Zuzu and the Zombies." so my name is zuzuthezombie. Simple. "It's better to have regretted you did it rather than regretted you didn't do it." "Make your life full of "oh, well"s, rather than "what if"s." You're never abandoned as long as you have each other. In a kid's yard, a tree without a tire swing is like a proper gentleman without a monocle. That is to say, HE CAN HARDLY BE CONSIDERED A TERRIBLY PROPER GENTLEMAN AT ALL. Homestuck A person asked his 11 year old autistic brother what he would do if he saw two boys holding hands. He said "People think it's weird, but I don't, I hold hands with cats. If you love something you should be able to hold its hand." We have a winner! 10: Look at the hairs on the back of my manly hairy hand. Tenth Doctor, Doctor Who, Fear Her Peter: I don't think I'm drunk enough for this. Peter Vincent, Fright Night Megamind: Ollo? Gir: I was the chubby lady hidin' in the bushes! 10: OF COURSE!! What girl? L: I'm a... pervert? Light: I'll take a potato chip... AND EAT IT!!! Q: BOOM! I'm eatin' your grapes, bro! BOOM! These grapes are delicious! Sal: Hey, are those grapes? *looks in shopping cart* Sal: Grapes are my jam! *takes grapes out of cart, eats one* Lady: But... those are mine. Alex: He's scared to death of everything. The Doctor: Decision: Should we open the cupboard? Dex: HOLY- *falls over* Six: ... Kyntak says his DNA is identical to mine. I think he's telling the truth; no human being could've done the things we did this morning. Kyntak: What do we do now? Kyntak: Your torture methods suck. It's like water torture, but with questions. Kyntak: Give me some boots. I'd like to shake in them. Kyntak: I would blush if you hadn't already taken all of my blood. (girl) am I pretty? Last night I looked up at the stars, and said one thing I love about you for each star. I was doing fine until I ran out of stars. 1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 4. "And who is your companion, Postmaster?" asked the eagle. (Wildwood) [darn, I wasn't that far yet!] 2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? Sargeant Frog 4. Without looking, guess what time it is 4:43? 5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 4:42! 6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? My Dad talking to me and my brother eating. 7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? At about 4:00, I was leaving skool. 8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at? Another thing I was putting on my profile. 9. What are you wearing? Blue Old Navy sweater, jeans, a grey shirt with Grumpy from Snow White that reads: 'I'M RIGHT, YOU'RE WRONG, ANY QUESTIONS?', and black socks that have green and purple flowers on them. 10. Did you dream last night? Yeah, it was strange. I lived in a castle and there were all sorts of underground passages filled with colorful plastic buckets with toys inside of them. I was wandering about, looking for my violin. I lived with this kid who also played the violin. Then I went to the bathroom (still in the dream) and almost destroyed it because I was flushing the toilet too much. Then I woke up because my alarm went off. 11. When did you last laugh?
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in? Brownish yellow paint (quite pretty, actually), two paintings, a clock, a wall rug from when my Uncle went to Indonesia or something, and a Christmas tree made out of old jewelry; it is on a black velvet-type thing with a metal (looks like bronze...) frame. 13. Seen anything weird lately? Sargeant Frog. Strange show, seriously. 14. What do you think of this quiz? It's pretty cool, what do YOU think? 15. What is the last film you saw?
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? Lots of Nutella. I love that food like no other. Oh, and I would get VIP passes for the InvaderCON in Los Angeles this year. 17. Tell me something about you that I don't know: I used to play violin. 18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? Stop pollution & clean ait all up 19. Do you like to dance? Eh, it's okay. 20. George Bush. Um, well, I don't really think about them... and I'm pretty sure I wasn't even alive when he started, so... 21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? Sherieot. 22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? Johann, Mordecai, Alecziel, Erich, Frederich, Hans, or Reynard. 23. Would you ever consider living abroad? Sure, it could be fun. 24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates? I don't believe in God, sorry! This is a memorial to all those wonderful people, However fictional they may be, that have been harmed Emotionally, physically, killed, or otherwise, For the sake of our own amusement. Let us share a moment of silence for these brave beings... And, now, without further ado, copy and paste this onto your profile if you agree. By Order of the The Official Time Lord Registry, You say Martians. We say Irkens. You say Bill Nye. We say Professor Membrane. You say backpack. We say PAK. You say uprising. We say RESISTY! You say stupid. We say 'advanced'. You say idiot. We say pathetic, filthy human pig-smelly! You say ugly. We say big head. You say 'The Song that Never Ends'. We say "The Doom Song". You say robot. We say GIR. You say "That's not true!" We say "LIIIIIIEEEES!!!" You say aliens. We say "ZIM IS AN ALIEN! WHY DO I EVEN HAVE TO TRY AND PROVE IT THIS MUCH?!? JUST LOOK AT HIM!" By Order of the The Official Time Lord Registry, Let it be known that on the date 7/17/2012, zuzthezombie gazed upon the Untempered Schism and saw time in all its infinite possibilities and eternity and went mad. Her chosen name is the Scorpion, because she liked it. So it was chosen and so it shall be, The order is stamped with the Seal of the Time Lords. http://forum.fanfiction.net/forum/The_Official_Time_Lord_Registry/88918/ You say "I'm popular". We say "I'M NORMAL!!!!!" You say we're weird. We say we're Invader Zim fans. If you luv Invader Zim, copy and paste this onto your profile! 1. If you could hang out anywhere, where would it be? Zim's base! 2. Which IZ Character Would You Date? Zim or Dib. I can't decide! 3. Which IZ Character Is Your Best Friend? Dibbeh! 4. Which IZ Character Do You Hate? Keef, Tak, Mortos Der Soulstealer, Iggins 5. Your Favorite IZ Episode? Zim Eats Waffles!!! A Room With a Moose!!! 6. Your Favorite IZ Character Zim, Dib, Gir, both the Almighty Tallest 7. Favorite Almighty Tallest? Both! 8. Zim walks up to you, what do you do? Scream at him, then hug him, then become his love-pig and help him take over the Earth. 9. You just got 2 tickets to go see a concert, who do you take with you? Dib. He's the only one I would trust enough to go. 10. You accidentally got stranded on a deserted island...who got stranded with you? Dib or Zim. They both have the knowledge to get us out of that filthy place! 11. Zim asked you to help him repopulate Irk...what is your answer to this disturbing question? Me: *stares*...Ok 12. Favorite IZ Pairing? ZADR! ZADR! ZADR! 13. You and the Tallest are on the Massive...?? (I don't know where this question was going!)
14. If you could spend your Friday Nights doing something, what would it be? Helping Dib expose Zim. 15. Favorite IZ Quote? Gir: Your head smells like a puppy! "You're nothing, Earth-boy! Go home and shave your giant head of smell with your bad self!" "Okaay...there's a lot of things wrong with what you just said." Zim and Dib in Backseat Drivers from Beyond the Stars. 16. Favorite Zim Moment? Zim: (1) Oh such tacos I will give! (2) Your waffles have sickened me! Fetch the BUCKET!!! *retches* (I love his voice) 17. Favorite Dib Moment? "MY HEAD IS NOT BIG!" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo- whatever." "Why was there ham in my pocket?!" "ARMS... LIKE... NOOOODLES!!!" (Love his voice too!) 18. Favorite Tallest Moment? Purple: I am going to throw up. *Goes away, retches* Red: Not on the doghnuts! 19. Favorite GIR Moment? (1) I saw a squirrel! It was doin' like this! *does squirrel impression* (2) Can I be a mongoose dog? "I'm running! I'm running! I'm ruuuunninggg!!!" "Your head smells like a puppy!" "IT WAS ME!! I WAS THE TURKEY ALL ALONG!!!" "You look like you need waffles, boo, boo, boo!" "I wants me a barrel of floss, and I wants me two balls of glue TO BE MY FRIENDS! And dancing NAKED! *later* ... and a chair made'a cheese and a table made'a cheese-" Well, anything he says or does. 20. Favorite Random Moment? Dib: what's so scary about a moose? Zim: watch the monitor! Dib: *sees moose* yeah, okay, that's a big moose, but so? Zim: prepare your bladder for imminet release! Dib: nuh-uh! Are those walnuts? Zim: yes. Gir: (offscreen) my walnuts! Dib: *sees moose eating walnuts* No! No! Noooo! *crawls up on the shelf or whatever* I Believe that zim should take over the world if you are one of the 99% That Zim Should take over the world put this in you Profile (personal note: I do believe that Zim should take over the world, but it would be extremely sad if he did. : ) If your a Irken thats a Defective put this in your profile If you want Invader Zim to come back, copy and paste this into your profile and sign your name: RulerofFire, MyWhiteLady, Invader Nyx, Serentochan, Zim'sMostLoyalServant, Sara Zoe Tigris, Guy Person, Invader Catara,INVADER GRIM, bak602, TheAwesomenessThatIsMe1222, TaraLovesMewMew, YourMooseyFate6, IceLuxray, zuzuthezombie, You know you watch too much Invader Zim when: 1. You have a sudden craving to squeeze a rubber piggy. 2. You don't listen to politicans speeches anymore... you vote for the tallest one. (I will when I can vote XD) 3. Martians existed. And you know exactly what happened to them. 4. You pass out meat on Valentine's day instead of candy. (Darn, i forgot! XD) 5. You talk in third person. 6. You block up your chimeny on Christmas beacuse you fear Santa's 'jolly boots of doom'. 7. The most terrifing image you can come up with is a moose eating walnuts. 8. You check your soap for bacon... just in case. 9. When you get a zit, you name it Pustulio and insist that he has hyptnotic powers.(LISTEN TO PUSTULIO HE IS YOUR MASTER) 10. When a dog follows you, you're frightened that you're turning into bolonga. 11. Chihuahuas are frightening creatures... 12. Tuna is worth NOTHING anymore. 13. Waffles are the best food in the world. Period. 14. Being 'normal' is important beyond all else. 15. You've begun to wonder if your teacher can survive in the sun or not. 16. You've suspected that the nearby hot dog stand is controlled by aliens. (is there realy a difference between some people and aliens?!) 17. You wear a trench coat everywhere. (Love wearing vests ;) ) 18. You don't eat proper meals anymore; only snacks. (Me) 19. You've tried to convert your basement into a secret base. (If only...) 20. When someone calls you stupid, you respond with 'I'm not stupid. I'm ADVANCED'! (Me) Copy and paste that into your profile if you laughed. put this (\/) Copy the bunny into your profile to help him achieve world domination, and come join the dark side. (We have cookies) Put this on your page тнιѕ ιѕ α вøх (\_/) Put this on your site If you like to laugh! I love Sal, Murr, Joe, and Q. I you love Impractical Jokers as much as I do, copy and paste this onto your profile. CoPy AnD pAsTe ThIs To YoU aRe PrOfIlE iF yOuR aWeSoMe!i! If the Earth was Conquered by something, i rather be conquered by zim. copy and paste this into your profile if you agree. ( We're doomed...) Justin Bieber falls off a building. 90% of the girls are crying. 9% are watching while eating popcorn. 1% are pushing Justin off the building. If you are part of that 9 or 1%, copy and paste this into your profile. (I CALL THE 1%!) If you have a severe case of OOIZD (Overly Obsessive Invader Zim Disorder) copy & paste this onto your profile. If you say IZ pairings like they appear instead of saying the letters (Saying "ZAGR" as "Zagger" or "GAMR" as "Gammer") copy & paste this onto your profile. If you get obsessed over things, then look back and realize how stupid some of them were, copy and paste this onto your profile. Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile! Ninety-Five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are part of the five percent who aren’t, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmuisc, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minamoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy the Mary-Sue Slayer, Harry’s Girl 01031992, WanderingTeen, Erik’s Muse, comix-freak, the epitome of randomness, Yessie55, Zim’sMostLoyalServant, XxFuTuRe-EaRtH-RuLeRxX, Lord Dread Raven, Invader Kat 27, TheAwesomenessThatIsMe1222, YouMooseyFate6, IceLuxray, zuzuthezombie, Jhonen Vasquez for president! Copy and paste if you'd vote for him! If you hate stereotypes copy and paste this to your profile. If you're insane and dang proud of it, copy this into your profile. (I brag about insanity FT) technicallly everyones differnet therefore insanity is normal and normality is crazy The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train. ( Or oncoming voot cruiser XD) You know you read too much JTHM and watch too much Invader Zim when: 1) You've gotten into several 'Lasers vs. Smoke Machines' debates with your friends (LAZERS!) 2) Every time you hear a teacher say "Children today have it so easy", you're tempted to scream "YOU SPEAK LIES! LLLLIIIIIEEEESSSS!" while clawing at the air like Zim (Yes, it's very hard to contain myself. XD) 3) If someone says the words 'Red and Purple', the first thing you think about is the Almighty Tallest, not the colors. (Uh huh.) 4) You learn someone in your class is named 'Johnny', and emit a fangirl squeal. 5) You now think all Chihuahuas are EVIL!(*hides* They SCARE me! DX) 6) You've taped your fingers together to see what it would be like to have only three fingers (I'll have to try that...) 7) The thought of Dib being Johnny makes more sense than it actually should (Yeah...) 8) You now order 'Brainfreezies' at movie theaters and drug stores 9) Your friends aren't even surprised anymore when you spout a random JTHM or Invader Zim quote. 10) The name 'Jimmy' makes you shudder with revulsion 11) Speaking in third person doesn't seem odd at all 12) At least ONCE, you've tried to imitate one of the character's voices 13) You want a T-shirt that magically changes logos without your notice (Awesome!) 14) You're genuinely shocked whenever someone wonders aloud 'Who is Jhonen Vasquez?' 15) Height has become very important to you, and you now look up (both physically and figuratively) to those who are taller than you. If at least one of the above is true, copy and paste this to your profile! "Sorry I'm late Ms. Bitters. HORRIBLE...NIGHTMARE VISIONS! It's called life, Dib. Sit down." -Dib & Ms. Bitters "Miss Bitters, I think a pencil is lodged in my brain. Can I go to the nurse?" "How far in your brain?" "...*Looks down* Prreeettty far." "Alright, take the auxilary hallpass."-Dib and Miss Bitters. ( Is it bad I have that memorized, as well as other Quotes?! XD) You know you read too much JTHM and watch too much Invader Zim when: 1) You've gotten into several 'Lasers vs. Smoke Machines' debates with your friends (LAZERS!) 2) Every time you hear a teacher say "Children today have it so easy", you're tempted to scream "YOU SPEAK LIES! LLLLIIIIIEEEESSSS!" while clawing at the air like Zim (Yes, it's very hard to contain myself. XD) 3) If someone says the words 'Red and Purple', the first thing you think about is the Almighty Tallest, not the colors. (Uh huh.) 4) You learn someone in your class is named 'Johnny', and emit a fangirl squeal. 5) You now think all Chihuahuas are EVIL!(*hides* They SCARE me! DX) 6) You've taped your fingers together to see what it would be like to have only three fingers (I'll have to try that...) 7) The thought of Dib being Johnny makes more sense than it actually should (Yeah...) 8) You now order 'Brainfreezies' at movie theaters and drug stores 9) Your friends aren't even surprised anymore when you spout a random JTHM or Invader Zim quote. 10) The name 'Jimmy' makes you shudder with revulsion 11) Speaking in third person doesn't seem odd at all 12) At least ONCE, you've tried to imitate one of the character's voices 13) You want a T-shirt that magically changes logos without your notice (Awesome!) 14) You're genuinely shocked whenever someone wonders aloud 'Who is Jhonen Vasquez?' 15) Height has become very important to you, and you now look up (both physically and figuratively) to those who are taller than you. If at least one of the above is true, copy and paste this to your profile! "Sorry I'm late Ms. Bitters. HORRIBLE...NIGHTMARE VISIONS! It's called life, Dib. Sit down." -Dib & Ms. Bitters "Miss Bitters, I think a pencil is lodged in my brain. Can I go to the nurse?" "How far in your brain?" "...*Looks down* Prreeettty far." "Alright, take the auxilary hallpass."-Dib and Miss Bitters. ( Is it bad I have that memorized, as well as other Quotes?! XD) If you think Nickelodeon is stupid for canceling Invader Zim, copy and paste this to your profile. I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Today you called me ugly. Today you called me lame. Today you said I'm evil. Today you shunned my name. Today you said good-morning. Then said I looked like a beast. You meant it in a harmful way. Then said you loved me least. Today you asked, "How dare you?" Then shoved it down my throat-- How monsterous you think I am. Why am I such a dope? Today I sat in my bedroom. Alone and oh so scared. I wondered: If I died, Would anybody care? Nobody ever wanted me This I surely know. They all think I'm ugly. Because you told me so. Today my sadness left me. Today I realized. Today I found my home. Today I escaped your lies. Today I'm sleeping peacefully. I'm wrapped in Jesus's arms. Today I wore a smile. I'm away from all your harm. Today I watched the Earth. As you spent the whole day lying. Telling them you missed me so. While you falsely started crying. I know that you don't miss me. You wanted me to die. Mother, Father, my dear lover-- This is my good-bye. Every day, mental abuse claims the lives of teens everywhere. This kind of abuse is the cause of most suicides in teenagers. Mental abuse usually comes from those who you love the most: mothers; fathers; boyfriends; girlfriends. To be abused mentally is to be constantly instulted or critiqued by an individual, and has an enormous effect on one's self-esteem. It is usually caused by one's parents or lover telling the victim harmful stuff, like that they are very un-attractive, or that they are stupid and such. Even though this is one of the deadliest types of abuse, it is rarely emphasised on. Help spread the word and put a stop to this cruel abuse. Copy and paste this on your profile if you are against mental abuse. SECRET MESSAGE (TRY TO READ IT) I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch sutdy at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool! Post this to your profile, if you could understand it! If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you would marry Milligan Wetherall, copy and paste this on your profile! (Yeah... he's freaking awesome...) Whovian and PROUD!! 98 of the teenage population does or has tried pot. if you're part of the 2 that hasn't and never will copy this in to you profile. If you are cursed so that your favourite character in a TV show/movie/book either dies or turns evil or leaves, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever had a crush on a fictional character put this on your profile. If you've ever seen a movie or TV show so many times you can quote it word for word and you do so at random times or when the moment seems to need a quote, put this in your profile. If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. Copy this into your profile if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it. I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I Am VERY VERY Against Homophobia , Gay People Only They Fancy The Same Sex FOR GOODNESS SAKE !!!! There is no such thing as normal. Everyone is either weird, crazy or just plain odd. If you agree, copy this onto your profile. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself . So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, therefore weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile. I'm that girl The one that likes books more than boys. The one who pretends not to be sad, just to make others happy The one who always wonders what she did wrong The one who writes to escape The one who just wants to help The one that really wants to make a difference The one that sticks to her values The one that refuses to believe that this is it The one that will do anything to make a better tomorrow The one who won't give in The one won't give up -by linguisticsrock, Copy and Paste if you can relate to this. ( Above ) How to do you put an elephant in the fridge? you open the door put it in, close the door How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the elephant out put the giraffe in close the door. There is an animal conference, what is the on animal that can't make it? The giraffe, it is still in the fridge You are crossing a river that is infested with crocodiles, how do you get across alive? You swim, the crocodiles are at the animal conference IF YOU LOVE THAT LONG JOKE, AND FIND IT HILARIOUS EVERY TIME YOU TELL IT TO SOMEONE COPY AND PAST THIS TO YOUR PROFILE The white man said: "Coloured people are not allowed here" Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down...Finally, the guys' side of the story. ( I gotta admit, they're pretty good.) We always hear 'the rules' from the female side. Now here are THE RULES from the male side. THESE ARE OUR RULES! Please note...they are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sport or motor racing It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! JUST SAY IT! 1. Yes or No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions, and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. pumpkin is also a fruit. We have NO idea what mauveis. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched...We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely ANYTHING you wear is fine...REALLY! 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or motor sports. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape ! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh. (No, I am not a man, but I thought this was pretty funny. I'm not even male!!! If you think this is funny also, copy n' paste this onto your profile.) List twelve of your favorite characters from your fandom, in no particular order. 1. Tallest Red 2. Dib 3. Tak 4. Gir 5. Mrs. Bitters 6. Keef 7. Gaz 8. Tallest Purple 9. Zim 10. Squid Man 11. Red Gir 12. Professor Membrane 1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to? Keef/Red Gir No, I have never read one about that, and I proly wouldn't read it... 2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
Yeah, he is awesome! 3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
There would be a human/Irken hybrid. 4.Can you recall any fics about Nine?
You know, that's pretty much who every story is about... 5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?
If you like slash... 6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?
Mrs. Bitters/Squid Man cos they are both human... sorta... 7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve making out?
She would yank them apart then punch both of them. 8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.
After Tak was launched into space, she falls back to Earth and finds unexpected love in the ocean. 9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff? Tallest Red/Tallest Purple I haven't seen it, but there most probably definitely is. 10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.
A Scientist's Cold, Science Based Love 11. Does anyone on your friends list read Three yet?
Nope. 12. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?
No. 13. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five? 14. If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose? 15. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be? 16. When was the last time you read a fic about Five? 17. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (7). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (6), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (2). Eh, I'll finish that later. List twelve of your favorite characters from your fandom, in no particular order. 1. the Random Citizen 2. Hal 3. Tighten 4. Minion 5. Carlos 6. Megamind 7. Roxanne 8. Metro Man 9. Bernard 10. the Pink Brainbot 11. the "Hey, my kid can't see!" guy 12. the Warden 1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to? Megamind/the "Hey, my kid can't see!" guy. Iv'e never read one of those, and I would never EVER want to! 2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
Um, he's adorable and a fish but I would probably go out with him... 3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
That isn't even possible, but a very very boring Metro Man. 4.Can you recall any fics about Nine?
Yes, lots. 5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?
No way, man! Hal is *shudder*. 6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?
7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve making out?
Roxanne would probably throw up. 8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.
Tighten falls in love with a Brainbot. (What?) 9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff? The random Citizen/Metro Man You know, there could be, but I've never seen it if there is. 10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic. Roxanne/Warden Prisoners Need Love Too 11. Does anyone on your friends list read Three yet? Tighten (what is a friends list?) Noupe! (I spelled it that way on purpose!) 12. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven? The "Hey, my kid can't see!" guy Again, noupe. 13. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five? Hal/Minion/Crarlos AGAIN, noupe! 14. If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?
Song: Kryptonyte (is that how you spell it?) 15. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
K, because it would be just friendship! 16. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?
A couple days ago. 17. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (7). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (6), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (2). You can only type ONE Word! Not as easy as you might think.Now copy or forward, change the answers to suit you and pass it on.It's really hard to only use one word answers. You can only type one word. Copy this to your profile. 1. Where is your cell phone? Dresser 2. Where is your significant other? None. 3. Your hair? Brown 4. Your mother? Here 6. Your favorite thing? Reading 7. Your dream last night? Dunno 9. Your dream/goal? Author 10. The room you're in? Diningroom 12. Your fear? Statues 13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? College 14. Where were you last night? Bedroom. 15. What you're not? Male 16. Muffins? Yum! 17. One of your wish list items? Dunno 18 . Where you grew up? Home... 19. The last thing you did? Type 20. What are you wearing? clothes 21. Your TV? On 22. Your pet(s)? Bed 23. Your computer? Huge! 24. Your life? Crazy. 25. Your mood? Tired 26. Missing someone? Yes. 27.. Your car? None. 28.. Something you're not wearing? Hat. 29. Your summer? Enjoyable. 31. Love someone? Yes. 32. Your favorite color? Orange 33. When is the last time you laughed? Today. 34. Last time you cried? Grandma 35. Who will repaste this? Someone.
Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!! If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. If you have a lot of fanfic ideas in your head but are unable to bring yourself to write them, copy and paste this in your profile. If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile. 98 percent of the teenage population drinks or has been around alcohol. Put this in your profile if you like bagels If you're thankful for spell check, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever really wanted to give a certain cartoon character a hug, copy and paste this on your profile. If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile. !eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI If you shiver at the thought of cigarettes, cigars, alcohol, pot, drugs, or anything like that, copy and paste this into your profile. Do you like waffles? Do you like pancakes? Do you like french toast? If you can't wait to get a mouthful, copy and paste this in your profile. If random people scare you, DON'T copy and paste this in your profile. If you ARE a random person but you still scare yourself sometimes, then you CAN copy and paste this in your profile. If this doesn't make any sense to you, copy and paste this in your profile and see an eye doctor. If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy this into your profile If you have ever gotten a song stuck in your head that you only know a few words to, and then gotten so fed up that you looked the lyrics up online just so that you could have something else stuck in your head, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile. If you realize that copying and pasting stuff into one's profile is completely pointless, yet do it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile. If you already have a gajillion of these "copy this into your profile" things, copy this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you hope to write a bestseller someday, copy this into your profile. If you can't stop putting these things on your profile,copy and paste this to your profile! If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile! I hate pop-ups. If you hate all the ads popping up while you're trying to read some story, copy this into your profile. If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile ／l、 Yaaay Kitty!! This is Kitty. Please copy and paste Kitty into your 24 WAYS TO ANNOY PARENTS, SIBLINGS OR FRIENDS: 1) I NEED TO TELL YOU A SECRET (LO0K AT #5) 15) YOU MUST BE REALLY TICKED OFF (LOOK AT #9) Things You Do NOT Wanna Hear On An Airplane Intercom: 1. This is your captain speaking and I don't feel that life is worth living anymore 2. We're cruising at an altitude of... Ah hell I don't know 3. Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button does? 4. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Just kidding. 5. Would the fight attendant bring me a martini? And keep 'em comin' 6. This is... uh... This is... uh... your... Hmm, I seem to have lost my memory... 7. Passengers on the left side of the plane -- does that engine sound funny to you? 8. Good God Steve! We’re going to crash! Oops -- is this intercom on? 9. We'll be on the ground in ten minutes. One way or another... 10. This is your captain speaking: I'm depressed, suicidal, and I'm taking you all with me. By the way, I've already killed the co-captain. YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF... You talk to yourself a lot. You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs..." You live off of sugar and caffeine. People think you're insane. You'll check your e-mail every day of the week one week, and then disappear off the face of the earth the next. Your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it. No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper. The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome. People think you have A.D.D. You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D. You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense. (ZIM STYLE!) You start thinking about making lists like this and start laughing for no "apparent" reason Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago. And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101. (copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions) I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.' Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' 'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!' Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white roses.' A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message, or Copy this onto your profile if you enjoy copying things onto your profile, just for the hell of it. If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! DO IT!! (twitch, twitch) If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. (hehe) There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. (don't you agree? No! YES!) Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile. If you don't watch Laguna Beach, The O.C. or The Hills, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you can spout a random character quote on command, copy and paste this into your profile. 7 Ways to Scare the crap out of Your Roommates 7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate with a sadisitic look and mutter, "Soon...soon..." 6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil. 5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks. 4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan. 3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you’re hungry. 2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?" 1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer." I hate pop-ups. If you hate all the ads popping up while you're trying to read some story, copy this into your profile If you can't stand preppy people who talk like this: "I like, can't believe, I like, chipped my manicure!!", copy and paste this into your profile. If you admit to have fallen for a videogame or cartoon character, copy this into your profile. If you actually take the time to read other people's profiles, put this in yours If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add the name(s) of the characters you have crushed/are crushing on: Nny, Zim, Pepito, Dib, Wilfre, Tallest Red, Link, Shadow Link, Vaati, Need I go on?? If you take the term "Weird" as a complement, copy and paste this onto your profile YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2011 when... 1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries. 7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen 8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. 10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee 11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : ) 12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing. 13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message. 14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. 15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list AND FINALLY NOW UR LAUGHING at yourself. Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to! Go lick your elbow. HOW CRAZEE?? Crazy is when you have a voice in your head that you named Pedro, even though he clearly isn't spanish and you just do that to annoy him. Crazy is when you're so obsessed with eating your Jell-o (and you forgot to put a spoon in your lunch box) that you try drinking your Jell-o through a straw and using straw chopsticks because straws were the only untensil-type thing available. Crazy is when you start dancing in Walmart to its cheesy music. Crazy is when u laugh uncontrolable at your own jokes. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny. Crazy is when you crack up if someone says "Oatmeal!". Crazy is when you forget what you're saying in the middle of a sentence. Crazy is when you take the time to write down stuff like this and memorize it. Crazy is when your are going through this as a checklist. Crazy is when you quote Charlie the Unicorn at random momments. Crazy is when you eat twenty pixie sticks in one day. Crazy is when your crazy. Crazy is when start talking nonsense everyday during gym. Crazy is when you convince your friends your 'high' because you can't stop laughing even when nothing is funny. And then all of you convince the nearest adult that you're having a breakdown. Crazy is when you trip up the stairs, and laugh all the way back down them. Crazy is when it is last day of school you scream and run around in circles. Crazy is when you get drunk on air and laugh during the saddest part of the move. Crazy is when you can call yourself something else, and completely become that person, forgetting your reason for hating the world, Crazy is when you laugh at nothing during school and laugh when everyone looks at you like your insane. Crazy is when you trip over nothing at all, fall, and say "I see the ground...it's pretty". Crazy is when you kick, scream and cry when your favorite TV Show or Movie goes to commercial. Crazy is when you start skipping down the hallway and start singing 'Follow the Yellow Brick Road' at the top of your lungs. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list! 37 Things to do in an Elevator 1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" These are actually on the labels. On Sears hairdryer: On a bag of Fritos: On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swann frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children's cough medicine: On Nytol sleep aid: On a Korean kitchen knife: On a string of Christmas lights: On a food processor: On Sainsbury's peanuts: On artificial bacon: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a Swedish chainsaw: On a child's Superman costume: On an American Flag: At Funplex: Next to a kid's place: In a Parking Lot: FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food. FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs. FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry. FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door. FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile. FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough. FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you. FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. FAKE FRIENDS: Say no when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this If Fanfiction is your way of escaping reality and the rest of the boring people in the world and truly "unleashing your imagination" then paste this in your profile you are so obsessed with Harry Potter that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile (It's just pretty pathetic now.) If you can't stand preppy people who talk like this: "I like, can't believe, I like, chipped my manicure!!", copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever cried when your favorite character died/almost died, copy and paste this into your profile If you like to root for the bad guys in movies/TV shows, copy and paste this into your profile 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", If you have inside jokes... with yourself... copy and paste this into your profile. You know something sad? I know more about Harry Potter than american History Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that. If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile. If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile. If you've ever imagined yourself killing off a fictional character so that you could steal her fictional boyfriend, copy this into your profile Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines. Education is important, school however, is another matter. Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't You know it's a bad day when you roll off the bed...and miss the floor. You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you are all the same. I'm not afraid of death. What's it going to do? Kill me? The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor"--a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck, my friends, for I may not return alive. 'I used to have superpowers, but my therapist took them away' 'you're just jealous because the voices only talk to me' 95 of people would go nuts if Edward Cullen jumped off a building. If you think High School Musical is evil,and brainwashes little kids,copy and paste this in your profile. If you have ever tripped over a pillow, copy this into your profile. If you have stared at your computer for a complete hour copying and pasting copy and paste its into your profile copy and paste this into your profile. If you absolutely LOVE to sing even though you may or may not suck copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever been told a joke, not gotten it, and then burst out laughing half an hour later when you actually got it, copy & paste this into your profile. If you dare to say the Dark Lord's name, copy and paste this into your profile. If people tend to tell you you write very good and should go ahead with it copy this to your profile If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile. It's retarded. It's ridiculus. It's re-dic-u-tarded!"-unknown "Being normal is for freaks."-unknown "Exile. I'm in exile. They've banished me from the lunch table."-unknown "They have sent us to this dungeon, more commonly known as school."-unknown "When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then let everyone else wonder how you did it." -unknown "Whenever I have trouble sleeping, I count the buckles on my straightjacket." "Penguins!! They steal your sanity one brain cell at a time!!" Did you know Sarcasm is your body’s natural defense against stupidity? I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. (Stupid psychiatrist...) Boys say that in everything they do, they can kick a girl's butt so bad that they cry. If you're a girl who kicks the boys' butts so bad they cry like girls, copy this into your profile Dora is only teaching kids to be stupid, I mean, c'mon, any normal kid could see the giant mountain that is RIGHT. THERE. BEHIND THEM!!!! We get it. You're the map. Why don't you say it again in case we didn't hear you?!?!?!?! If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, copy this in your profile. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons. To them you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup If you can’t stand the heat, don’t tickle the dragon. I'm like time... I can't be stopped. If you hate it when new-comers barge in, declare themselves supreme rulers of your fandom, and begin trying to define what's cool and what isn't, PLEASE copy and paste this into your profile If you think fanfiction contributes to society and people ought to get placed in Guiness books for it, copy and paste this to your profile If your definition of happiness is jumping up and down your bed (and then laughing your head off when you fall and bump your head), copy and paste this to our profile "Help I've fallen and i can’t...hey nice carpet!" Strangers stab you in the front, friends stab you in the back, boyfriends stab you in the heart, but best friends poke you with bendy straws. I'm not antisocial. I just can't stand people. Don't follow in my footsteps. I run into walls. I'm an angel. The horns are just to keep my halo straight. To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!" 5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6.When you drop a pen, don't pick it up. When someone reaches to pick it up for you, scream, "Wait! That's mine!!!" 7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'. 9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!' 18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' 20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity... Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile. Fanfiction is to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile. Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?" If you have retained an unshakeable belief in aliens, despite severe peer pressure, copy and paste this onto your profile and know that you're not alone.' If you LOVE tacos copy and paste this to your profile. If everytime you hear the word rum, you automatically think of Captain Jack Sparrow, put this on your profile! If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile. If you think you should be able to watch what you want on TV without being called immature, copy and paste this in your profile. If you believe in doing what you love, no matter what other people might think, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are a chocoholic copy this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you say it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile. If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile! If you have ever wondered what the afterlife is like, copy this into your profile. If you have a lot of fanfic ideas in your head but are unable to bring yourself to write them, copy and paste this in your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. A large percent of writers don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. If you're one of the ones who does know and wants to SLUG them, put this in your profile. If you get a kick out of explosions, put this in your profile. If you feel that half your day is spent being bored copy this onto your profile. !eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI If you can't stop putting these things on your profile, copy and paste this to your profile! If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to your profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you like to read what people put in their profiles, and you like Copy & Paste stuff, copy and paste this into your profile. If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! If you realize that copying and pasting stuff into one's profile is completely pointless, yet do it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile. If you already have a gajillionof these "copy this into your profile" things, copy this into your profile. If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile. you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile. If you LOVE Choco-tacos copy and paste this to your profile. f you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile If you have ever made up your own language just for fun, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever run up or down an escaltor and SUCCEDED in getting to the top or bottom, copy and paste this into your profile If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think it's stupid that girls are associated with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile If people think you are mentally insane copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this into your profile If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing copy and paste this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile If you have a million and one notebooks, and still need more for your imagination or creativity, copy this into your profile If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. If you have no idea what people are talking about yet you pretend that you do, copy and paste this on your profile. copy and paste this to your profile if you want a taco CoPy AnD pAsTe ThIs To YoU aRe PrOfIlE iF yOuR aWeSoMe!i! When you were 5, your mom bought you an ice cream cone. You thanked mer by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind. When you were 9, your mom drove you from swimming class to soccer, and one birthday party to another. You thanked her by slamming the door and never looking back. When you were 10, your mom paid for piano lessons. You thanked her by never coming to class. When you were 12, your mom was waiting for a very important call. You thanked her by talking on the phone all night. When you were 14, your mom paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not bothering to write a single letter. When you were 16, your mom taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you got. When you were 17, your mom drove you to the mall and gave you her credit card. You thanked her by maxing it out. When you were 18, your mom cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by partying until dawn. When you were 20, your mom drove you to college. You thanked her by saying goodbye outside your dorm, so you wouldn't have to say 'bye' in front of your friends. When you were 26, your mom payed for your wedding. You thanked her by moving halfway across the world. When you were 30, your mom fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to children. Then, one day, she quietly died, and everything you did came crashing down on you. If YOU love your mom, re-post this, and if you don't, you wouldn't care if your mom dies, would you? I, as both a reader and a writer find it increasingly infuriating that stories can get thousands of hits yet only a few reviews. What could take you five or ten minutes to read could have taken someone several hours to write and a lot of planning. Reviews encourage people and make them feel good about the writing. YOUR GIRL SIDE: You wear lip gloss/stick. Total: 5 YOUR GUY SIDE: You love hoodies. Gory movies are cool You go to your dad for advice. Total: 14 PREP You own an iPod/MP3 player. Total: 4 GOTHIC Black is one of your favorite colors. Total: 4 PUNK You can skateboard (I suck at it, but I can) Total: 4 GEEK You love the computer. Total: 3 ATHLETIC You watch/watched the Super bowl. Total: 2 HARDCORE//SCENE You like loud music. Total: 4 NAMES YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE KNOWN 1. SKIPPEDED! 2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Sopizzle 3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): Orange Ponycorn (We made that animal up, okay! It's a cross between a pony and a unicorn.) 4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): Marcy Hayes 5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Chasosca 6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Red Tamarin Soda 7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maidenname, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Oamcyr? (I dunno my mom's middle name... sorry mom!) 8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name, dad's middle name (boy: Dad's first, girl: Mom's first)): ? Bayard 9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets): Black Lily 10. YOUR HIPPIE NAME: (type your name with your elbow): asoipohgia 11. Your Organization XIII Name: (Your first name mixed up, put an 'X' wherever you think one should go): Aixposh 12. Your Prince/Princess Name:(Prince/Princess, any letter(s) of (each of) your birthstone word(s), Middle name spelled backwards.): Princess Blutopycarm
It's empty in the valley of your heart, Ooo wee ooo, I look just like Buddy Holly, Stars hide your fires Ooo wee ooo, I look just like Buddy Holly, Bang Bang! Knocking on the door. Another bang bang get down on the floor. I'll try hard not to pretend Ooo wee ooo, I look just like Buddy Holly, Do you suppose she could change your life? Songs I used: The Cave by Mumford & Sons, Buddy Holly by Weezer, Roll Away Your Stone by Mumford & Sons, Saint Simon by The Shins, and Cut-Out Witch by Guided By Voices. All songs belong to their respective owner/writer/band. If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile If you have ever seen a film, TV show, or anything of the like, and can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments, copy this into your profile. If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you frequently have conversations with yourself and/or fictional characters from your favorite books or TV shows, copy and paste this into your profile. 5.5 million people are on the internet right now. Copy this onto your profile if you are one of them. If you have ever pasted anything on your profile, paste this on your profile If you have a profile, paste this on your profile. If you are a girl, paste this on your profile. If you're on the computer, paste this on your profile. if you LOVE tacos copy and paste this to your profile. if you like writing stories on fnfc copy n paste this to your profile if you hate the suckish hannah montana copy n paste this in ya profile YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF... You talk to yourself a lot. (Alot meaning all the time...) You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?') When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?') After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...' You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!) You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth. You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it. You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground. No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper. The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome. People think you have A.D.D. You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D. You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense. You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason Your friends stopped looking at you funny when you laugh for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago. And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101. (copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions) If you have ever yelled at the book you were reading because the characters did something stupid post this on your profile If you've ever run into something big and obvious in public, copy and paste this onto your profile. Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile. If Fanfiction is your way of escaping reality and the rest of the boring people in the world and truly "unleashing your imagination" then paste this in your profile If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. (my friends think I am weird 4 this one) If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL, Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART, Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG, Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY, Calling me POOR won't make you RICH, Calling me FAT won’t make you PERFECT, Calling me UNCOOL won’t make you COOL. So why bother? If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile 90 percent of teens today would die if Myspace had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10 percent that would be laughing (or dont know what the hell MySpace is), copy and paste this to your profile If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile. If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile. If you are really random put this on your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. If you think disclaimers are the most annoying thing ever copy and paste this onto your profile. Flattery will only get you so far in life. Then there's blackmail... If you've ever seen someone repost something into their profile more than once, copy/paste this into your profile. If you've ever seen someone repost something into their profile more than once, copy/paste this into your profile. Get a life, the rest of us are tired of loaning you ours. Life has a nine month warranty, it's durable, and you can always return it! If you're not insane, are you outsane? Ten things to see before you die 1. A vegetarian be eaten by an animal. 2. An emo kid talk about happy bunnies. 3. Homer say something intelligent. 4. Taxes disappear. 5. Voldemort destroy one of his Horcruxes. 6. Michael Jackson be stalked by children. 7. Children take over class and teach teacher in child subjects, such as: armpit farts, skate-boarding, real music, ect. 8. Wrestling people forget their moves 9. The coyote catch the road runner. 10. The reaction of the teen population if abercombie was closed and it was illegal to wear their clothing If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination, copy and paste here. (Planed it on a map and everything! Problem was, the tanks weren't fast enough!) Mommy..Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an author, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you" In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is retard cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is forty cat This is seconds cat Now read the THIRD word of ever line(HAH! Copy this into your profile if you find this funny[LOL it took less than 40 seconds]) Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me Being mature is overrated. Slinky Escalator = Endless fun! One out of four people is insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you. When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide! If you think the Cocoa Puff Turkey Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile. What is another word for "thesaurus"? ERROR: Keyboard not found! Press any key to continue. Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. When someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown about it, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap outta them. People like you are the reason we have middle fingers. Why is Greenland icy, and Iceland green? Wheres theres a will, I want to be in it. When I was a kid we had a quicksand box. I was an only child- eventually. Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong. I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours. The great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid. Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you could survive the odds beating you. Ive stopped listening, why havent you stopped talking? Im terrified of dying in a plane crash. Id hate the thought that peanuts would be my last meal. Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES! Welcome to the dark side. Are you surprised we lied about the cookies? When life gives you lemons, squirt the lemons in Life's face. Some say the glass is half empty, others half full, all's I want to know is who the Dark Forest is drinking my water! You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid... If you ever wondered who made up all of the 'copy this into your profile' things then copy this into your profile. If you still have to make an L with both hands to find out which way is left or right, copy this to your profile. If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this into your profile. (Yeah, you know who you are) If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. you still have to think 'righty tighty, left loosy' when opening, well, anything, copy this into your profile. if you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune. Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts: 1) Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms 2) I will not sing "We're Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office. 3) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class 4) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss 5) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda 6) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar 7) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy 8) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month" 9) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals 10) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches 12) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Moblie, Robin!" 13) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm. 14) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor 15) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental 16) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends" 17) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book. 18) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!" 19) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" everytime I apparate. 20) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls. 21) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice. (Damn, now I will have to use the other option.) 22) I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand. 23) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs. 24) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice. 25) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort. 26) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera. 27) I will not refer to the Accio charm as "the Force". 28) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays. 29) I will not put Muggle fairy books in the History section at the library. 30) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas. 31.)I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hardcore". 32.)House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers. 33.) Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever moneymaking concept. 34.)I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause. 35.) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord. 36.)I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snapes private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing. 37.) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it. 38.)I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice. 39.) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro. 40.) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class. 41.)The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid. 42.)I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets". 43.)When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts. 44.)Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either. 45.)A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly. 46.) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy. “ 47.)I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death. 48.). I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord. 49.)Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny. 50.)Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient. 51.)Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists. 52.)I may not have a private army. 53.) I must not substitute chocolate-flavored laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate. 54.)Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy. 55.)I am not the wicked witch of the west. 56.) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either. 57.) I will not melt if water is poured over me. 58.) -Neither will Professor Umbridge. 59.)I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors. 60.)I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose. 61.) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover. 62.) I will not test my Potions assigments by spiking Snape's drink with them. 63.) - Especially not all of them at once. 64.) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts." 65.) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos." 66.)Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'. 67.)I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter. 68.)When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'. 69.)Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'. 70.)The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters. 71.)I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort. 72.)Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of muggle firearms. 73.)Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either. 74.)I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins. 75.)I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes. 76.)I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing. 77.)I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'. 78.)I will not create a betting pool on that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father. 79.)Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka. 80.)Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles. 81.) I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter. 82.)Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin". 83.)I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape. 84.). - However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it. 85.)If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume. 86.) I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes. 87.)I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either. 88.)I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron. 89.)I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times. 90.)It's not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says All the good looking ones die young with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it. 91.)I will not yell "Hey look It's Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade 92.)I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad bad nightmare about Harry 93.)I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall 94.) I will not snap my fingers in a z formation and say "oh no, you dinin't" whenever Malfoy insults anyone. 95.) -Same with professor Snape- 96.) I will not play poker or bridge with Professor Trelawney's cards. 97.) I will not draw mustaches, glasses, scars, devil horns, or other paraphernalia on the paintings in Hogwarts while the subjects are sleeping. They do not find it amusing. 98.) Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit. 99.) I will not change gravity on the Hogwarts grounds. My fellow students do not need to develop extra muscles and jumping into an orbit is not funny. 100.) I will not follow potion instructions in reverse order "to see what happens." 101.) I will not walk up to a Hufflepuff and ask if he/she is going to huff and puff and blow my house down. 102.) I will not accept anything edible from a Weasley. Especially if it is offered with a compensation for any damages. 103.) Hogwarts is not in the flight path of any Muggle airport, and Muggle airplanes cannot crash into Hogwarts. That being the case, there is no need to have first years standing on the spires of Hogwarts waving torches screaming "Go away, go away!" 104.) I will not ask for advice from Peeves on how to wreak havoc. This goes for Fred and George, too. 105.) Making rumors about Harry and Draco's secret love life is not funny and it will stop soon. 106.) I will not suggest to Fred and George that they invent and sell Anti-Anti-Cheating Charm quills. 107.) I will not tell first years that the best way to study is to stay up all night balancing your textbook on your head, as gravity will cause the information to sink through the skull and into the brain. Having not done this, I will not stay up all night to laugh at said first years. 108.) I will not point to Harry Potter's scar and ask if his Voldy senses are tingling. 109.) I will not organize a Junior Death Eaters Training Camp at Hogwarts. I will not hand out medals for "Hexing Harry Potter," "Endangering a teacher's life by jinxing," or "Throwing a person from the Astronomy Tower." I will not send the latter to Professor Snape and make him an honorary member. 110.) I will not add "according to the prophecy" at the end of all my sentences to raise my Divination grade. 111.) I will not push Professor Flitwick from his stack of books claiming I need them for my studies. 112.) I will not spike my best friend's pumpkin juice and tell him to go hit on Professor McGonagall. Or Professor Snape. 113.) When asked a question by a teacher I will not inform them that the answer is protected by a Fidelius Charm and I am not the Secret Keeper. 114.) I will not hiss at Harry Potter instead of talking. 115.) I will not organize a witch burning, even if I have been assigned to do a presentation on Muggle history in my Muggle Studies class. 116.) I will not tell Oliver Wood that Quidditch as been permanently canceled. Having not done this, I will not tell him that it is Marcus Flint's fault. 117.) The answer to every question isn't yellow, Minnesota, 43, or the Imperious curse. 118.) I am not allowed to ink my owl's feet, have it walk across a parchment, and sell the result as cheat sheets for Ancient Runes, even though Crabbe and Goyle keep falling for it. 119.) Crucifixes do not ward off Slytherins, and I should not test that. 120.) When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good v. Evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and shout, "There can be only ONE!" 121.) I am not to attempt to stake Professor Snape. 122.) I will not stack Professor Trelawny's tarot deck so that the first five cards are The Devil, The Tower, The Hanged Man, Judgement and Death. 123.) I will not tell first years that they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow. 124.) Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit project" for herbology. 125.) No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class. 126.) I will not shave Mrs. Norris. 127.) I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or pirahna. 128.) Nor am I to sell any of these to Hagrid. 129.) I will not ask Ginny how to properly strangle a chicken. 130.) Hogwarts does not have a student council. Even if it did, they would not wear the rose seal. Therefore I will cease going after the prefects with a sword. 131.) I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry Potter's prized Firebolt. 132.) The giant squid is not a suitable date for the Yule ball. 133.) It is wrong to refer to Aragog as "Charlotte". 134.) I will not swap Draco's broom with one out of Filch's broom cupboard. 135.) I am no longer allowed in the student laundry. 136.) -Or the teacher laundry. 137.) Nor am I allowed to ever cast an Invisibility charm again. 138.) While wand safety is an important issue, I am no longer allowed to distribute any pamphlet, which makes reference to Belinda the Buttless. 139.) It is generally accepted that Cats and Dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory, no matter how wicked the result would be. 140.) I will not give any girl a one half of a set of two-way mirrors as a Christmas present. 141.) -Especially if I don't tell her what it is. 142.) Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled firewhiskey. 143.) -Charming the label does not change anything. 144.) I am not allowed to eat Chocolate Frogs in Potions class. 145.) -Even if I brought enough for everyone. 146.) -Emptying a bag full of them onto Professor Snape's desk to prove this last is unacceptable behavior. 147.) I will not stare at the great hall ceiling and say "there are stars!" 148.) Nor will I sing twinkle twinkle little star. 149.) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicate that they are "covered in bees". 150.) I am not allowed to draw a smiley face on my arm and tell everyone its the new Dark Mark. 151.) The proper way to report to Professor McGonagall is "You wanted to see me, Professor?" Not "I have it on good authority that you have no evidence." 152.) I will stop referring to Hufflepuffs as "cannon fodder." 153.) First-years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow. 154.) There is no bring a muggle to school day. 155.) And I should stop insisting there is. 156.) I must not start a "Vote for me as Minister of magic" campaign. 157.) I will not send pictures of magical creatures to the Weekly World News. 158.) I will not refer to "The Grim" as a nice doggy. 159.) I will not refer to Professor Lupin as a nice doggy. 160.) I am not permitted to utter the line: "Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a _ out of my hat!" during Charms class. 161.) There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder. 162.) I will not enchant the telescopes on the Astronomy Tower to display non-existent constellations during O.W.L. exams. 163.) Albus Dumbledore's proper title is "Headmaster", not "My Liege". 164.) I will not use Slytherin and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations. 165.) I will not die the Death Eaters robes pink. 166.) Nor the Slytherins. 167.) I am not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here. 168.) I will never again use the spell used to enchant bludgers on peas. 169.) -Or tomatoes, plums, oranges, or any other food item. Or any other item that is not a Bludger. 101 things I cannot do to Annoy People 1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." 3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..." 5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. 6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. 7. Speak only in a "robot" voice. 8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. 9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub". 10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies. 11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. 12. Sniffle incessantly. 13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. 14. Name your dog "Dog” and your Cat ‘cat’. 15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up." 16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think." 17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training." 18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace". 19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot." 20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol. 21. Practice making fax and modem noises. 22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss. 23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. 24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance. 25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person." 26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy." 27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control. 28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment. 29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. 30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room. 31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice. 32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting. 33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way." 34. Drum on every available surface. 35. Staple papers in the middle of the page. 36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates. 37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings. 38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks. 39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places. 40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page. 41. Set alarms for random times. 42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon. 43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving. 44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise. 45. Honk and wave to strangers. 46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange. 47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show. 48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies. 49. Wear your pants backwards. 50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register. 51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!" 52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE. 53. only type in lowercase. 54. dont use any punctuation either 55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets. 56. Pay for your dinner with pennies. 57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes. 58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question. 59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps. 60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories. 61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now." 62. Light road flares on a birthday cake. 63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley. 64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency. 65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador." 66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks. 67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained. 68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One." 69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk. 70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read. 71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it. 72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat. 73. Drive half a block. 74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination. 75. Ask people what gender they are. 76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back. 77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl. 78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes". 79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song. 80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet. 81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day. 82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September. 83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a." 84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. 85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed. 86. Wear a LOT of cologne. 87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing." 88. Sing along at the opera. 89. Mow your lawn with scissors. 90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!" 91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend." 92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme. 93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles." 94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture." 95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times. 96. Never make eye contact. 97. Never break eye contact. 98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn. 99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results. 100. Make appointments for the 31st of September. 101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties. If you're going to go down, go down with style. Failing your final exam can actually be an amusing experience, depending on what you make of it. Here are some suggestions... Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!" If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is. Bring cheerleaders. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?" Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc...). Play with the volume at max level. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative. Bring pets. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers. Come into the exam wearing a pair of birkenstocks, and nothing else. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB, BABE, etc..). Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Screw this!" and walk out triumphantly. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink). Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you start to hold your mouth and make "I'm about to bring something up" sounds.). Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!" Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!" Bring a water pistol with you. Nuff said. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation. Bring cheat sheets FROM ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out, too) and staple them to the exam with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit." When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her. One word: Wrestlemania. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start. Try to get people in the room to do the wave. Play Frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc... sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say "it helps me think." Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so". Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why My Professor Sucks" 333 things I cannot do in Wal-mart. 1. Take someone's shopping cart and switch the items with stuff from the person next to them's cart 2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment 4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!! etc." 5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person was trying to take your _ 6. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas. 7. Hide in the center of the clothes circle where people find shirts, and jump out and yell "AIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!" 8. Go into the dressing room, wait a few minutes, then yell "THERES NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!" 9. Get a batman costume, put it on, and run around the store screaming at the top of your lungs, "COME ROBIN! TO THE BATMOBILE!" 10. Hide between clothing and then jump out and yell "PICK ME" 11. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?" 12. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men 13. Hide in a clothes circle. When someone with a shopping cart goes by stick your hand out and steal something from them 14. Grab a guitar and start singing Wake Me Up When September Ends in a loud shrieking half screaming voice 15. Randomly place 24 bags of candy in peoples carts 16. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out. 17. Go up to an employee and in a official tone say "code three in house ware" and see what happens 18. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department 19. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap 20. Set up a concert of singing hamster dolls. Get your friends and turn them on all at the same time. Then act like a conductor 21. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?" 22. Open a pack of yugioh cards and challenge random people to a "d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!" 23. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation 24. Tape a walkie-talkie to the back of a Barbie doll and say to random people, "I know where you live..." 25. Attempt to drown in a kiddy pool... 26. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it 27. Open up random packages in the toy aisle then walk off. If an employee asks what you're doing, just say "I changed my mind." 28. Run around Wal-Mart in a bathing suit singing the Surfin' USA theme song 29. Say things like, "Would you be as kind so to direct me to your Twinkies?" 30. If an employee comes within 30 ft scream "GET AWAY FROM ME!!!" Then run out of the store screaming 31. Walk up to an employee and ask questions like how come this store is called wal mart? Or what's up with your hair? Why do you people wear name tags can't you all remember your own names? 32. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles 33. Glare menacingly at anyone who comes within 40 ft of you. Then hiss like a snake and act like you're going to bite them 34. Throw a fake rubber snake into some lady's face and watch her freak out 35. Squeeze their legs and either sing, "I like to move it, move it! Or say "You got chicken legs!" 36. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible." 37. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room 38. Bring your pet pit-bull into Wal-mart. Act casual. If someone is brave enough to walk up to you and tell you to get out, simply reply "He's going to help me pick out his favorite dog food" 39. TP as much of the store as possible 40. Whenever you hear a voice saying, clean up etc fall to the ground sobbing screaming the voices!! then get back up & act normal 41. Dress up in a trench coat & wear sunglasses. Walk up to someone browsing and say "The rooster is in the nest" Wait for a reply. After they finish talking, hand them a cap gun and whisper "use this wisely." 42. Go to the music aisle and start singing horrible karaoke 43. Walk along look at someone giggle at them & say to no one... I know I know... hehehe keep doing it until they give you a weird look & walk off 44. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day 45. Go in to the camping department and enter a tent then tell random customers that they can come in if they bring a pillow from the bedding department 46. Broadcast K-mart commercials over the intercom 47. Go up to the bagel section with cream cheese all over your face. Then start chanting, "We love bagels! We love bagels!" 48. Over the intercom say there is a big sale on all items in electronics department and first 10 people to the check outs gets one item free... & see what happens 49. Randomly start putting different size undergarments in peoples carts 50. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners 51. Run through the store and jump on random peoples carts singing I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODYS NERVES!! 52. Go up to random people and poke them. If they ask you what you're doing or tell you to stop, tell them that you're trying to find out what they ate for dinner last night 53. Do your American Idol audition in front of the security cameras 54. Get a marker & go over all the barcodes with a line then go purchase your items... the person who is serving you will have to enter all the barcodes in by hand 55. Go up to some of the customers while your carrying a paper bag and say "trick or treat!" and if they don't give you anything, do the sad puppy dog face 56. Hide under a big pile of clothes and throw random objects at people when they walk by 57. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie." 58. Walk up to a pizza place and ask for a Mcchicken 59. Go to the bathroom with a cantaloupe (hidden) Make grunting noises and drop the cantaloupe in the toilet. Then say "Phew, That's better" 60. Put blue paint on your hand and when you see someone put your hand on their shirt and point at them and say, "A clue a clue!" 61. Go to a clerk and tell them u lost your son and ask if they can call his name over the speaker! When they ask u his name make up a ridiculous name 62. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters 63. While Humming the theme to Mission Impossible While wearing all black, knock over all of the cans 64. Take all the CD's put them in the wrong place and when an employee puts them all back yell at her and mess them up again 65. Go to the front of the store in a baby diaper and ask a macho guy to change you 66. Take a friend with you and a younger child and start arguing over who gets custody then have the child run away and out of the store and yell CILLY COME BACK!!! 67. Climb up a ladder & try doing a King Kong thing 68. Run through the make-up department and yell, "There's a dead body in aisle 3!!!" 69. Grab a can of whipped cream & find a bald guy Spray it on his head 70. Dress up in a fairy costume, and climb up a ladder and when people go by say "your wish is granted" 71. Dress up as a giant smiley face and whip price signs! Then yell "ROLLBACK!!!" 72. Walk up to someone act like you can read their mind & say... sir or madam... don't think that. 7 3. Walk towards a group of people and hit your head and say in a loud voice, "Shut up in there." 74. Put make up all over your face so it looks like a 2 year old did it and then say, "She's horrible at giving make-overs!" and point to a random woman. 75. Go up to random people and ask them if they will be your friends then link arms and start to sing the friends theme song 76. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store 77. Smear ketchup on yourself, lie on your back in the kids aisle, and pretend to be dead 78. Lay a 20 dollar bill on the ground and back away and when someone tries to pick it up run up to them and yell hands off my dollar!! Then got to a manager and tell him that they stole 20 dollars from you 79. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles 80. Try all of the sodas and put them back then say, "Yup, that stuff's not poisonous." 81. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down 82. Run up to random people and ask if they like green eggs and ham 83. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags, then attempt to fit others into very large gym bags 84. Bang on the pots and pans in the cooking aisle 85. Act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions 86. Swing on the half price banners 87. Go up to a random person and tap on his/her shoulder. When the person looks at you, ask what and walk off like you're annoyed 88. Burp and say mmmm, tasty 89. Hold Barbie for ransom 90. Run around with a country music cd and sing Queen's "We Will Rock You" 91. throw random items over into the next aisle and see if you can score into someone's cart 92. Ride around in a Barbie jeep with Barbie in the front seat and act like you're talking to her by saying "Let's bust this joint!" 93. Wrap a hose around you and shout, "AAH! I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE!" 94. Do your own radio show over the intercom 95. Go to the aisle with the Star Wars stuff and hold up a Luke Skywalker toy and say "Luke, I am your father" and make breathing noises in your darth vader mask 96. Glue pennies on the floor 'heads' side up 97. Knock over all the shelves and run around screaming 'EARTHQUAKE! EVERYON RUN! 98. find a pair of walkie talkies and have a conversation with your self when everyone is watching you 99. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices 100. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over 101. Buy expensive stuff, go home and use white-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund 102. get a cardboard box, go in the store and pop out of the box and give out candy to passerby 103. Find the fish section and when someone walks by begin to pet the fish tank and say, "I know how you feel..." 104. Spill water on the floor, and run around claiming that the store is flooded 105. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items 106. Scream really loudly and when someone tells you to be quiet scream, "I will not be silenced!!!!" 107. Hold a bag of frozen veggies over your head and yell "Fear me and my evil army of frozen carrots!!" 108. Hug someone randomly and say, "I love you mommy!" 109. Go in the undergarments section and ask random people if they think this will fit 110. Tie a plushie to one end of a string your ankle to the other end, and run around screaming "HELP! IT'S AFTER ME!" 111. Start yelling at the stuffed animals when there are people around 112. Grab some pampers Pull-Ups and while buying them yell at the clerk "Mommy, guess what? I'm a big kid now!!" 113. Go into the bedding department and with cookies in your hand lay on a bed then pretend ur having a nightmare about cookies and yell " COOKIE!! COOKIE!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!" Then start rolling around 114. Make evil eyes at someone and start whispering, "I'm the little girl from the well... I've been waiting..." 115. Go to the cafeteria area and buy frys. Then stand by the door and when people walk through throw the frys above their head like there getting married 116. look at old people with wide eyes saying, "I see dead people!" 117. Get a tent ( With holes preferably ) and tell people to come in your lair. When they do chuck popcorn at them and ask them who invited them in 118. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a prissy English Man. Say things like "Cheerio, good man." to people who walk by. And don't forget to have perfect posture. 119. Chase your friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don't know you. 120. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if you on a horse, then pretend that your a cowboy, etc. And if a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start barking at them until they run away crying. 121. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind customers and "accidentally" hit the people instead of your friend. 122. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins. 123. Walk up to the customer service and when they say "Hello, how may I help you?" say "Yes, I'll have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of french fries and a diet coke." And when they start to talk, say "Oh, to go". Then when they say that they can't give it to you say "Oh, This is because I'm gay isn't it? I'd expect this from McDonalds, but not Walmart 124. Get popcorn and throw at customers, sneaking up on them in an un stealth-like way, while yelling random things 125. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream is because your family and all your friends seem to have a rash too. 126. When your alone, have loud conversations with your "multiple personalities". Have an English man, a Southern person, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old girl all at the same time. You have to use accents. 127. Start "dancing" like mad. Basically, just wail your arms and legs around like your having some kind of massive seizure. 128. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store. 129. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as your walking through the doors As if your suspecting the alarms to go off. Then when it doesn't go off, let out a big sigh. Then quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away as fast as you can. 130. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song. 131. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while, start saying blink everytime it blinks. Don't look away, just stay mesmerized. 132. Light a match under a sprinkler 133. Walk up to someone and say "Oh, so your back for more. I warned you never to come back here. Wait here while I go get my shot gun". Then walk away. 134. Buy something that is like $5 and give the cashier all pennies. 135. Walk up to a guy and say "Oh my god, is it you? Oh my god it is!!! I haven't seen you in so long!!!!" Then kiss him. Then slap and him say "Why didn't you ever call me??" Then walk away. Much more affective if you're a guy. 136. Stand next to a maniquin and pretend that your a mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check your watch and say. "Finally, my shift is done. I really don't get paid enough to do this" 137. Stare at the ceiling. See how many people look up. 138. Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone. 139. start hitting on the mannequins. 140. Super-glue a quarter to the floor and count how many people try to pick it up. 141. Switch the price tags with something expensive and something really cheap. 142. Put women's clothes into men's carts. 143. Put preppy stuff, like short skirts and whatnot, into old men's carts when they aren't looking. 144. Run around in front of a mirror screaming "COPYCAT!" 145. Bring a friend and a stopwatch. Get carts and race around. every time you nock something over, subtract a second from your time. You usually get kicked out before you figure out who won. 146. Find a couple. Run up to the one who is an opposite gender from you, slap them, and say "WHAT IS THIS? I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL!!!" 147. Go up to an assistant and ask for mayonnaise. When they say they don't have it, start crying and scream, "Now how am I supposed to paint my toenails?!?" 148. Lay on the floor and do a ground angel 149. Steal their ketchup, go on the counter, smear ketchup all over you and say HELP ME HELP ME! OMG! THE HOTDOG KILLED ME! 150. Start jumping on one of their beds attempt to fall asleep until one guy tells you to get off. Then yell 'HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!? GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! GET AWAY FROM MY BED!!!!" 151. Run around switching all of the open signs on the cash registers to closed and all of the closed signs to open. Watch the customers get confused. 152. Ask for Goat Milk 153. Make sure somebody's in the same aisle, then run screaming into a wall. Fall down and say "AHHH! The pain, the horrible, terrible pain!" Until someone asks if you're alright. When they do, get up and say, "Yes, I'm fine, why?" And then walk away calmly like nothing happened. 154. Dress up as an emo kid, then scream at people, "WHY HAVE YOU COME TO WORSEN MY MISERY?!" 155. Dress up as a ninja and go around the store karate chopping people 156. Ride a horse on a stick toy thing and have your friend pull you around the store on a skateboard while you scream, "The British are coming! The British are coming!" 157. Turn a cart over and put towels over it so they can't see in. when someone starts to open it, start yelling "Hey, I'm Using the Bathroom in here!!!" 158. Buy a chocolate bar, go to the bathroom, smear chocolate on your hand, reach under the next stall and ask, "Can I have some toilet paper?" 159. Take a fishing pole, tie it to a dollar, and go fishing for humans! 160. Climb up to one of the really high shelves and start singing Christmas carols at the top of your lungs. Works better around summer. 161. Get a mirror and put it on top of a cart so it lay across it. Get on top and have someone push you down an isle, and Sing "Surfin' USA" 162. When the intercom comes on, fall on your knees and scream in tears of joy, "God has spoken!!!" 163. Get on a bike and ride around and crash into everything and everyone who gets in your way. 164. Pour a bunch of lemonade from the entrance to the bathroom and come out saying someone should have told me where the bathroom was quicker! 165. Steal guns and ammo and shoot all the TV's you can find. whoever blows up most wins 166. Get an umbrella and have someone in a cart (or just a tall person) pour water on it while you sing Raindrops Are Fallin' On My Head. 167. Call the front desk and when they answer the phone say I'm sorry, your call could not be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again. Then call and say I'm sorry, I will have to put you on hold. Can you call back? I'm busy on isle 3. 168. Go into one of those employees only doors and go behind some food shelves. when people reach out to grab food, grab their arm and start to pull on it. 169. eat all the ice cream boxes and then blame it on a worker with ice cream all over your face 170. Pour carrots on the floor so the employees have to pick it up. Continue doing it for a long period of time. 171. Skate around on a skateboard, then fall over and pretend to break your leg. 172. Start playing the violin. 173. Stare at a blank T.V, for an hour and when somebody asks what your doing, answer, "Shh, this is my favorite show!" 174. Stand on the conveyor belt at the check out with a barcode on your forehead. 175. Start saying stuff like argetrargrehargenstartgen to everyone who walks in. 176. walk around in dirty cloths and eat all the produce lika a bum 177. Poke people and run away screaming, "Don't touch me!!!" 178. Stare at people for a minute and then smile at them happily 179. Beat your chest and run around screaming like Tarzan. 180. Throw stuff on the floor and start yelling at an imaginary friend. 181. Shoot spitwads at people and then fall on the ground laughing hysterically 182. Go into a bathroom that is of the opposite gender of yourself and open the stalls saying, "Ooh la la!" 183. Walk up to random people, give them a hug, and say, "I love you!" 184. Dress up as an old man and start stealing stuff 185. Start a fire, then sit around it with your friends in Indian clothes. 186. Walk around in a court jester costume 187. Run at people with a pitch fork 188. Pretend that you're having a heart attack 189. Throw tomatoes at people and then tackle them 190. Get on the intercom and calmly say, "Attention shoppers. I would like to inform you that the world is about to end, and that there's a sale on isle two." 191. Buy a carton of vanilla ice cream, run up to the cash register, tell the cashier you forgot your money, then start dancing like Napoleon Dynamite, screaming, "Where's my chap stick?!" 192. Pretend to be Spiderman by running up walls and trying to save people 193. Claim isle three as your 'Secret Lair' 194. Run around the store singing the My Little Pony theme song as loud as you can. 195. Get a giant Christmas stocking and hop around in it like it's a potato sack on field day 196. Build a wall out of stuffed animals 197. Put on a cape and run around singing the Phantom of the Opera 198. Yell curse words at people 199. Knock down as many displays as you can 200. Go up to a random old guy with white hair and say, "I want Bratz for Christmas! Thank you Santa!" and then give him a hug and run away. 201. Dress up in a super villain costume and then go around the store yelling, "MARRY ME!" to random people 202. Go up to a tough looking guy and push him and say you wanna fight? And when he pushes back start to cry and run away 203. Point to a cash register and ask the cashier, "How much is that?" 204. Get a tent and campout with the Barbie dolls in the toy isle 205. Chew gum loudly in people's faces 206. Throw a poke-ball at someone and yell, "PIKACHU, I CHOOSE YOU!" 207. Turn on all the flashlights, hang them from the ceiling, stand under them, scatter confetti at your feet, and start singing, using a Barbie as a microphone. 208. Play baseball in the middle of the store, then score a home run and run around the store screaming. 209. Flirt with someone, plan a date, and then break up with them, all in 10 minutes. 210. Get a cart and pile it high with items. When the cashier tells you the price, exclaim, "What a rip off!" And walk out of the store. 211. Start singing, "Tinkle, tinkle, little star! In a toilet that's real far! Up above us in the sky! It's weird to learn that pee does fly! Make sure it does never land! In my, my, my, my, my hand!" 212. Find all the beans you can and put them in your cart, and then tell random people that it's your breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next couple years. 213. Pay for your stuff with all pennies, and then come up one too short. 214. Scream, "Look! Someone's stealing an old lady's purse!" and when they look away, take all the stuff in their cart and throw it around the store shouting "I'm a terrorist!" 215. Run out of the dressing room screaming, "Michael Jackson has my dad!" 216. Go to the pet isle. Point to a fish and say, "I'll have that one. And that one. And that one..." Keep going until you've pointed to every fish they have in stock 217. Tap dance through the store 218. Change the music on the intercom to Mexican 219. Rip open every package you see 220. Get on a bike and have your friend chase you. Pretend you are going to run over somebody and then move out the way. 221. Stand in front of the security camera and pretend to die (dramatically) 222. Scream "SECURITY!" as loud as you can. When they come up act all panicky and say "This is really important!" Then smile and say, "Hi." 223. Sing "Mary Had A Little Lamb" as loud as you can in the music section, then smile and say "Well, it's the music section so I thought you might like some live music." Then sing it again. 224. Run around with underwear on your head, screaming, "I am Captain Underpants!" 225. Follow a male security dude and ask him where the "feminine needs" are. 226. Go to the toy isle, set up the GI joe figures and yell, " Then it's WAR!!!" 227. Pull down your pants next to a flower display and "water" the flowers. 228. Go to the bakery section and yell "I LOVE PIE!" to everyone you see. 229. Take all the pets out of their cages, including the fish. 230. Grab a strawberry shortcake doll and go to the bakery section. Tell the baker "I'd like to buy strawberry shortcake!" and hold the doll in their face. 231. Scream, "GET OUT OF MY YARD!" to everyone who walks by you. 232. Announce that there's a huge sale at Target 233. Throw a party in a busy isle 234. Test drive lawn mowers 235. Have a tennis tournament in the middle of the store 236. Throw all the bouncy balls in the toy section everywhere and let them bounce around 237. Carry a bomb and make it explode 238. Eat a bunch of candy and refuse to pay for it 239. Go to the in store restaurant and order anything. When receiving it tell them that this was not what you wanted. Refuse to pay and go tell the manager 240. Hide in a pile of plushies and then jump out at people who walk by 241. Act like an old lady and scream, "AH! I broke my back! This wouldn't happen at Target!" 242. Pretend to be a life size Barbie. When someone wants to buy you, run away screaming that someone was trying to kidnap you. 243. Take a marker to all the happy faces. Then change the prices. That will start an uproar 244. When a clerk stops you and asks your name read their name of their id card. When they say it's not your name scream, "IDENTITY THEFT!!!" 245. Throw jelly sweets at the cashiers 246. Steal a shopping cart(As in take it out of the store and put it in your car) 247. Ride on the back of the carts. (they hate it when you do that) Run into other carts yelling like a maniac. 248. Follow one person around the store. Poke them ever so often. When the snap and yell at you scream, "STALKER!!" 249. Pretend like you're a person who works there and walk around saying, "Can I help you find anything?" 250. Spill cooking oil all over the floor and then slide in it 251. Pretend like you're blind and can't find what your looking for. Go up to random people and ask, "Will you help me find some cat food for Fluffy?" 252. Bowl with bottles full of open soda 253. Run around with a bowl of cheerios yelling, "It lowered my cholesterol!" 254. Order a pizza from the cashier 255. Ask to have your pizza shaken, not stirred 256. Start a food fight 257. Go up to a fat woman and say, "Taxi?" 258. Put underwear over your shorts, get a blue shirt, yellow paint, and red paint, paint an s on the shirt, go to the material section, cut a red cape, then get an umbrella, open it, and jump off the tops of shelves. 259. Take the spray paint and paint all the people around you 260. Go up to random people and hug them while putting a 'Kick Me' sign on the back of their shirt 261. Hide in dark places with a golden ring. when people walk by, jump out at them hissing, "We wants it! You cants have it!" Then gently whisper, "it will be alright my precious" 262. Flip off the manager 263. Go to the food section, take all of the boxed items out, and stack them up to make a fort. Glue can help. And creating a 'distraction' elsewhere for the employees to handle while you work does too... 264. Drop a pen and let someone else go and pick it up for you. When they do try to pick it up yell to them, "HEY THATS MY PEN THEIF!" 265. Bring a slip n' slide blast some Music and bring some random people to it and kick their back so they slide accross the slip n' slide and scream "PARTY IN THE HIZ HOUSE!!!!!!!" 266. Throw a dance party 267. Write on the floors 268. Pull all the clothes off the racks into a pile on the floor and hide under it, and when someone tries to pick the clothes up, leap out cackling madly and run down the aisles, still cackling. 269. Go up to someone and say "look over there" Then pull down their pants. And, if you're lucky, their underwear. 270. Pretend to have an asthma attack, and when someone tries to help you, bite them. Or pretend to faint. 271. Get a bag of chips and walk around the store eating them. When an employee tries to stop you or make you pay, tell them that they're your chips! Keep screaming it. 272. Spray a customer with pepper spray and scream, "Help! Help! He's a rapist!" 273. Pretend to be a rabid dog and run around growling at people. Then if someone tries to stop you, bite them. 274. Lie on the floor. Just lie there. It is guaranteed to freak people out. Either pretend to be asleep, or to have passed out. 275. Take toys and put them on the floor and take a cart. Start running over the toys screaming, "Monster Truck Mania!!!" 276. Climb up the shelves/storage units, then refuse to come down. 277. Take red juice Pour it on your face make streaks or stripes then layout on the floor with a flower in your hand when a crowd of people come stand up and walk like a zombie! 278. Grab a bowl, spoon, milk, and cereal. Eat it right there and tell them you'll pay when your done. 279. Stand on the conveyer belt when your checking out and walk like its a treadmill... then ask for a speed increase 280. Wrap yourself in toilet paper rolls and pretend to be a mummy looking for your wife, Cleopatra 281. Follow a stranger around and mimic them. Continue doing this for a long period of time. 282. If you are in Target, say there is a code yellow 283. Get some candy corn form the candy aisle put two on your canine teeth and go around the store biting peoples necks 284. Flirt with the manager's wife 285. Walk calmly to the CDs, when u see one that has Hilary Duff, yell (if you're a fan) OHMIGOD! HILARY'S LATEST! OHMIGOSH, I, LIKE HAVE TO HAVE THIS! (if you're not a fan) Find a hammer, take the CD, gently put it on the floor, then mash it like a madman. 286. Run around spinning and say you're the Tasmanian devil 287. Run around in circles and yell, "I'M THE CIRCLE MAN!" 288. Announce a sock-sliding contest and take off your shoes and start sliding. It's actually really fun... 289. Go up to a employee ask for a application and where it says goals write down 'to take over Wal-Mart' and turn it in 290. Get a water gun and threaten someone with it. A cashier is usually a prime candidate. Then say in a low, dangerous voice (without collapsing into laughter) "Empty out the cash register." 291. Take a soda, shake it up, and then spray it at people. 292. Hide in the clothes so when someone comes to look you yell, "PICK ME!" 293. Request that an employee find you an imaginary product, then keep saying: "I know it's here somewhere, just keep looking!" Eventually the employee will run out of patience, so then you say: "You've been punked!" And run out screaming and laughing. (Maybe you won't get kicked out, but you'll freak an employee out...) 294. Print out a bunch of advertisements for Target, Marshalls, etc... Then calmly go around taping/gluing/stapling them to products, people, and walls. It helps to have a WHOLE lot of them. 295. Move things around. (Put frozen food in with the barbies, etc...) 296. If a fat person has a twinkies in their cart take it out and start eating it and spit it out on them and yell, "That crud is sick!" 297. Point at an old man and yell, "LOOK EVERYONE! IT'S BRITNEY SPEARS!" 298. Put a ski mask on and wear a black cape with black clothes and a fake sword and yell, "Zoro has returned!" 299. Dress up as an old lady and whack people with your purse and when employees come to stop you, pretend to faint 300. Go to Wal-Mart at 2:00 in the morning and do cartwheels around the store screaming, "I'm pregnant!" 301. Put on a long wig and claim to be Pocahontas 302. Break some glass, then accuse a flying monkey 303. Threaten a cashier with a candy bar 304. Bring in scissors and glue. If anyone asks, tell them you are fulfilling your dream of giving Wal Mart a Make Over. 305. Buy a bag of candy. Start to walk away, then ask if you can exchange them. Repeat until they get angry. 306. Go to the dairy section and protest against milking cows. Say things like, "What if the cows aren't ok with us milking them? Cows have rights too!" 307. Redecorate the Rollback Smiley Face so he is green with neon pink eyes. 308. Go up to the manager and ask where the nearest K-Mart is. 309. If you see a couple holding hands, run through their hands and scream, "RED ROVER!" 310. Grab a gnome, then hide in a clothes rack and when someone picks out a shirt or whatever jump out and yell "The gnome did it! The gnome did it!" Then throw the gnome and run. 311. Put up free sample signs all over the store and watch people leave with their "free samples." 312. Run around the store screaming, "OMG! HELP! PINTO BEANS ARE TAKING OVER COSTCO! AHHH!" 313. In Walmart, they give out free stickers. Take them and decorate your body with them. 314. Get a bunch of your friends, about 10 or more, and go up to a lady who looks like she's in her 20's. When there are lots of people around, ask, "Mommy? Can we have some ice cream?" 315. Spit in the manager's face 316. Stare at a customer for a long time while saying, "Hello, hello, hello" nonstop until they get really mad 317. Go to customer service and say, "Your fat vallet guy stole my car." 318. Put an "Out of Order" sign on the manager's butt 319. Go up to customers and whisper, "Seven Days..." and if they turn around, pelt them with Skittles 320. Melt chocolate, then scream, "Free face masks!" 321. Wear a pair of bright yellow pants on your head and run around screaming, "They Got Me!!" 322. Slap the manager and scream, "He's alive! He's ALIVE!!!" 323. Put a lot of matches and gasoline in your cart, then smile at people 324. Run around the store five times, and when you are done, scream, "I WIN!" and do a victory dance 325. Let a collie lose in the store, then scream, "Lassie, come home!" 326. Make your friend that's a guy try on girl clothes and then have him run around like a crazy person. 327. Hide in a boys clothes rack, and when a boy with glasses walks by, scream, "You're a wizard, Harry!" 328. Grab lots of G.I. Joe action figures and Water Bombs and yell, "ITS WAR!!!" whenever someone walks by and throw the bombs at them. 329. Put a Dora toy on the floor and when someone tries to pick it up, yell, "Swiper No Swiping!" 330. Buy a fake but expensive looking vase. (ex. a cheap glass pot.) Fill it with some ash and soot. Then take it to an employee, bump into him and drop it so it shatters. Then keep screaming at him that it was your mother and you will sue him for every thing he owns, and tell him he has to pick it up then and there or he will be cursed for 10 years. 331. Put a squirt gun in a stuffed elmo's hand and scream, "Everybody down!! Elmo's got a gun!" 332. Drive around in a kiddie car singing the batman theme song. 333. Run around with underwear on your head screaming, "I'm Blind! Funny XD-worthy labels and warnings On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!) On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions: "Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?) On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion!) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?) On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.) On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!) On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.) On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..) On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.) On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.) On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..) On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this.) On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.) Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. 'Before you take the life of your baby, really consider all your option. Would you rather be fat for a while, or kill your child? Personal addition: There is no situation that will ever make this okay, do you hear me?! Not rape, not even if the mother might die giving birth. Nothing should ever, EVER, take precedence over your child's life. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you think those kids should just give the Rabbit his cereal, copy this in your profile! I solemnly swear that anyone who flames my stories will get a flame back. FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE! BEAT OUT THE FLAMES! If you agree (or hate flamers), copy this into your profile. If you think pocky is addicting, copy and paste this into your profile. I want child abuse to stop. If you do to, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever had a "yeah whatever..."moment, copy and past this into your profile 22 Ways To Annoy Kate Weatherall 1. Fire Nerf darts at her bucket so that they stick. 2. Using her slingshot, fire rocks at her bucket so that they go PING! 3. use Reynie's BB gun to fire pellets at her bucket so that it goes PING PING PING PING PING! 4. Make her wear a dress. 5. make her wear a skirt. 6. make her don a corset. 7. dress her up as a princess. 8. have Constance write poetry on her bucket with Sharpie, so that it never comes off. 9. give her a total makeover, so that she looks more "girly". 10. get Reynie and Sticky to cut her hair. 11. have her wear an outfit that Number Two made for her all day, taping it every second. 12. rip open her stuffed lion Renee 13. tell her that Milligan died. 14. trash her room, especially the wardrobe/dresser/closet, where she keeps all her clothes. 15. replace her bucket with a plastic beach one. 16. fill her shoes with sand. 17. replace all her soap with glue (Or anything sticky, but not Sticky.) 18. steal her hairbrush. 19. steal her towel. 20. when she's asleep, take off her blankets and turn the air conditioner way up high. 21. have Reynie and Sticky steal her bucket when asleep. go into her bathroom and begin opening drawers and stuff. make sure to wake her up. when she comes in, claim that they were just "helping her to restock her 'stuff'." 22. replace everything in her bucket with makeup. Danke Shein to whoever reads this! | |||||||||
1. Rapport » reviewsA series of one-shots about Six and Kyntak's friendship, but it can be interpreted as Six/Kyntak if you want. Rated T for violence. Please review!Six of Hearts series - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,532 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 5-16-13 - Published: 8-22-122. Puff the Not-So-Magic HumanFrom a dream I had, and a complete troll fic. Has Puff, Benatar, Axel, and Dee Jay from Your Favorite Martian. Also, Kate Weatherall. Possibly more people later on.Crossover - Misc. Books & Web Shows - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 384 - Published: 3-1-133. The Golden Plague » reviewsThe Doctor, a wedding, Jack Harkness, and his daughter. However, she doesn't want to get married, and when people start to regenerate, what could go wrong? Set after The Wedding of River Song, when he's trying to lay low. I own nothing. CH 4 UP!Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,753 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 12-11-12 - Published: 1-6-12 - 11th Doctor & Jack H.4. The Djinn's Puzzle » reviewsReally everybody, but there was only room to put 2 names. Kate meets some friends from the Circus, but what happens when Mr. Curtain escapes from prison? I own nothing.Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 2 - Words: 830 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-11-12 - Published: 2-29-12 - Kate W. & Reynie M.5. The Cat and the Crow » reviewsShawn now owns the house, and Arrietty and her family move back in. But what happens when Squeaky Clean Exterminators capture them? I own nothing.Arrietty/借りぐらしのアリエッティ - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,894 - Reviews: 13 - Updated: 12-11-12 - Published: 2-22-12 - Arrietty & Shō6. R E S P E C T! » reviewsZim gets horribly sick, and calls the Doctor for help. But there may be something more sinister behind this... Eventual ZADF. Everything is c Jhonen Vasquez and BBC.Crossover - Doctor Who & Invader Zim - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,129 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 12-11-12 - Published: 4-22-12 - 10th Doctor & Zim7. Pandora's Jar » reviewsThey told her not to open it. They really did. But curiosity killed the cat, and Humans seem to have the strongest brand. Kate is about to find out what it's like to be Pandora. Mild Kaynie. T for violence, a bit of blood, and mild swearing.Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,078 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 12-11-12 - Published: 5-17-12 - Kate W. & Sticky W.8. Just One Kiss » reviewsWhy won't he let me give her just one kiss? A series of one-shots dedicated to our favorite OC pairing: Tremme and Shaeale! Dedicated to dwatlaskrhtcm. Rating changes each chapter. I'll tell you if it is over K . Read The Golden Plague. Everything c BBC.Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,719 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 12-11-12 - Published: 4-23-12 - Alonso F. & Jack H.9. Ax Man » reviews"...Keef?" 'Yup! Heya, buddy.' "You do realize what this means, don't you, Zim?" "Yes. That we now have TWO things to deal with." Keef has finally snapped. And he's out for revenge. And Zim is, too. T for blood, violence, & mild swears. c Jhonen V.Invader Zim - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,797 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 12-11-12 - Published: 4-3-12 - Dib & Zim10. Of Bacon and Curses reviewsTip wonders why J.Lo keeps whispering 'bacon'. Very short one-shot. Made for Awesomesaucelv8 to tide her over until I finish my other fic. NO PAIRINGS. The True Meaning of Smekday belongs to the wonderful Adam Rex.True Meaning of Smekday - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 55 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 8-20-12 - Gratuity T. & J. Lo - Complete11. Want You DeadYet another JTHM poem. Not Diamante, but just a random one I wrote for skool/shool/school.Jhonen Vasquez - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 124 - Published: 6-4-12 - Complete12. DiamondsSix JTHM themed Diamante poems. C J.C.VJhonen Vasquez - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 162 - Published: 5-16-12 - Complete13. GIR reviewsZim teaches Gir how to write his name. Short, pointless fluffy stuff. And guess what? I don't own anything! Really didn't know what to put for the title...Invader Zim - Rated: K - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 886 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 3-21-12 - Gir & Zim - Complete14. Pie, Pie, Pies, Pies, and Pi reviewsThe gang celebrates Pi Day. Happy Pi Day, y'all! It's the wonderful day of March 14th, 2012, or 3/14/2012. Have a nice Pi Day! Hmm, that was all for the summary... oh! I almost forgot! I own nothing. Gir: ya, happayy Piii Dayyyy! Zim: quiet Gir!Invader Zim - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,248 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 3-14-12 - Zim & Dib - Complete15. puryS elpaM »Read the name backward! Zexion faints, Roxas gets called 'Rosa', and the Orgy gets a new member! I own nothing. DISCONTINUED.Kingdom Hearts - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,309 - Published: 2-28-12 - Zexion
| Community: | Things That Have to do whith Mr.Ledroptha Curtain |
| Focus: | Books » Mysterious Benedict Society series |
USA