About Me
On My Writing: As you can plainly see by the descriptions of my stories, I write a lot of romance-- Whether this is because subliminally, I'm filling in all of the gaps of my own life and what romance I'd like to have, or simply because I'm better at writing the interactions between two lovers then anything else, I don't know. All I know is that I enjoy writing romance, and that's the way it is. If you find it stereotypical, cliche, lame, whatever-- stop reading my work right now. You will most assuredly never be satisfied here.
Why Romance Can Sometimes Be a Problem: Consistently writing romance (especially FF's with OCs) leads people to come to the conclusion that all of my OC's are Mary-Sues or self-inserts. Although I do have an overwhelming desire to be the wench of Jack Sparrow, or the sassy but sweet girlfriend of a particular TV show character (I admit my problems freely, the first step to recovery I've heard...) my characters are simply too much unlike me to be me. My flaw is having to write them when an idea pops into my head and obsess over it till the idea is finished or dead... Their flaws are whatever fits into the context of the story and makes them what they are... If this bothers you-- again-- Don't read, you'll just get mad and feel it necessary to berate me through a review and that won't make me very happy either, because believe me, I already know.
On another related note--Yes, a lot of my characters are red-headed, befreckled women-- Quite simply... Red heads are underrated and rare compared to all the other colors available. As for freckles... Having a body with no freckles is like having a sky with no stars.
And, to quote Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean Ride-- "WE WANTS THE RED HEAD!!" Get used to it mates, red heads are going to take over the world!
Onto the biography :0)
My FanFictions
Listed in (somewhat) Alphabetical Order (with a bit of information on what's happening with them)
What Vexes All Men (5 chapters): Last Update 6-15-08. Jack Sparrow is looking for company and gets more then he bargains for. During this adventure, he falls in love, finds a ship, and is betrayed all in a matter of time. Note: The history of the Black Pearl is somewhat shady and as far as I'm concerned, not set. Whatever you may have read, it's most likely not going to be accurate in my FF. If that bothers you, I apologize, but thanks to Disney, we've been left to our own devices to decide what happens. Live a little :0)
The Splendor of Light and Dark (2 chapter): Last Update 1-18-08.
A Message in the Garden (9 chapters): Complete as of 8-30-07. The sequel to Save the Child, with the arrival of Grace and Aydan, a new serial killer is in town, and they leave strange messages with their victims. Grace gets to help out in this one and a lot of research has been put into it, so I'm hoping people like it :0)
L'Angelo Del Fantasma (12 chapters): Complete as of 2-7-07. Thank you to all of my loyal readers and reviewers. I am truly appreciative and throughly flattered at your kind reviews. I am proud of this fic and happy to see I've finished it.
La Figlia Del Fantasma(10 chapters): Complete as of 3-26-07. This is the sequel to L'Angelo Del Fantasma, if you haven't read that please do, this will make more sense if you have. Thanks to all the loyal readers of it's predecessor L'Angelo Del Fantasma for reading and reviewing. I have enjoyed writing it and hope it makes people as happy reading it, as I have had writing it.
Save the Child (7 chapters): Complete as of 5-29-07. It's finished my dears-- finally. Now we see what happens between our two lovebirds :0)
The Heart's Delusion (Oneshot): Complete as of 6-15-07 A oneshot about none other than our favorite swashbuckling, heart breaker-- Cap'n Jack Sparrow!! It does contain At World's End subject matter, but it doesn't give away the ending... Have fun reading! Later Maties :0)
The Tale of Sareh (13 chapters): Last update 3-19-07. I will finish this story as soon as I can. Having so much stuff to do and a desire to write other stories, I will do my best to keep it alive and finish it. In my mind, I have two, maybe three chapters left to go. It's just a matter of getting into the mindset it requires. Sorry for the delays!
Deadly Melodies: Is truly dead indeed... Seeing as I've removed it from my profile. Not thinking it's going to be rewritten.
A Stream of Consciousness About Me
-My name is Jaina.
-I just turned twenty.
-I am a sparkle freak.
-I have crow-like abilities in finding anything and everything shiny.
-I Film Editing.
-German is my second language-- sort of.
-My children will be learning their second language when they're young.
-I think it should be a requirement in America.
-I'm deathly afraid of whale calls. I don't know why, but hearing it gives me the willies.
-I like the word willies.
-I hate the feeling of cardboard, especially the back covers of notebooks.
-I have a distinct phobia of needles.
-I look Irish, but am actually German.
-I was born with freckles on my right leg that look like Orion's Belt.
-I used to hate my freckles.
-My iPod is surgically attached to my ears.
-I can type 78 words per minute.
-I spend way too much time on the computer.
-I'm a cashier at a grocery store, despite a complete inability to do math in my head.
-I love that the register does the math for me.
-I love VW Bugs. And Disney.
-I have a VW named Squishy.
-I've been to Disney World at least fifteen times.
-My Mom equates my reading habits to that of a drug addict. Only these drugs are ok.
-I'm awkward in most situations.
-I used to be a ballerina.
-My hair used to be long enough to sit on.
-I play the violin, but I don't practice enough.
-I like to make people laugh.
-I'm a total nerd.
-Sci-Fi is my greatest love.
-I was raised on Star Trek: TNG and Star Wars.
-I understand why most Sci-Fi movies have sound in space.
-I have an almost obsessive love of technology.
-I can't afford all of what's available at the Apple Store but I look anyway.
-My Dad introduced me to computers.
-I taught my Mom how to turn them on.
-If it isn't an Apple, I refuse to use it willingly.
-I respect my parents.
-I look just like my Mom but I act just like my Dad.
-My Dad points out dye-cuts and font names.
-I know what dye-cuts and font names are.
-If I think I've said something stupid, I dwell on it for hours.
-I take too many pictures.
-My Grandpa always gets "mad" at me when I don't bring my violin when
we visit he and my Grandma.
-My extended family is pretty huge.
-I believe in everyone getting a second chance, if you blow it, don't expect a third.
-I think anyone who intentionally harms a child should die an
excruciatingly painful death.
-I think pleading temporary insanity is an obscenely overused defense.
-I think people need to take responsibility for their actions.
-I dislike people. Some days I mean that.
-Stupid drivers make my driving skills look infallible
-Stupid people make me look genius.
-I'm opinionated and share it when I find it appropriate.
-If you aren't interested in why I'm Republican, don't ask.
-I've been ready to fall in love with someone for a long time.
-I don't think anyone's been ready to fall in love with me at all.
-It's a toss up most days, whether I think I'm pretty or not.
-My first kiss happened in the snow, my last kiss happened in the rain.
-I would prefer hamburgers, in the car, talking about Star Trek, over an expensive dinner at a fancy restaurant, any day.
-I think someone telling you, "you'll find someone eventually", makes it
hurt even more that you haven't yet.
-I hate eating at restaurants alone.
-I hate being alone, even if I sit in my room all day.
-I have a dog named Faith.
-My best friend's name is Michelle
-She's a workaholic and I'm lazy.
Overall, my thoughts make sense for about a minute and then I forget why they were important in the first place.
Favorite Quotes
Quotes from Friends, Teachers, and other People I like A lot
Michelle: "I always put the par in cark."
Michelle:"OH! I see a bus for Colorado Springs..."
~Because Colorado is exotic enough for Disney World
"Oh Jaina-- You know I love hearing you talk,
Sexy jazz piece starts to play now-- let's retire to the backseat..."
~Kelsey while telling me in her own special way, that I'm not boring
Jaina:" What are you doing?"
Michelle:"I'm drinking Pepsi and it's Maaaaarvelous."
~Funny Phone Conversations with Michelle
Jaina: "Did you say Lipton noodles?"
Michelle: "Lipton CHICKEN noodle.. You missed the chicken."
~Funny Phone Conversations with Michelle
Jimmy: "My life is a Facebook quote."
Louie: "Well, there's no spoilers on that one, the damn things CALLED The Virgin Suicides."
Chris: "What the Hell, Who the Hell, Why the Hell-- I think that covers what we need to ask of Shakespeare."
Chris: "Yeah, I doubt Shakespeare would be like, oh yeah, turned 32 today, got some errands you might like to hear about."
~While discussing the diary like poem of Walt Whitman
Chris: "He talks about the nutrients from the roof of their mouths feeding the grass- and for those of you who may not be afraid of death, you might be a little more afraid of grass."
"A school is being shut down and the only way for the students to save it is through dance."
~Some Guy in my Modes lecture while discussing Cliches
"If you didn't realize that conversation was sexually charged then you obviously weren't paying attention."
~Chris about Dutchman and The Slave
"His member will be disabled soon."
~Yelena while discussing stupid boys
"I like to handle knots like Alexander the Great, that doesn't work here."
~Sara while trying to de-knot the Fostex wires
Alex: "I can't believe you actually did that."
Mark: "Of COURSE I did it, I'm an actor, you directed me to do it!"
~Director/Actor issues on set
"A man in a cowboy hat riding a bomb, to me, is the same as a woman in a bikini with an Uzi."
~ Film TA after watching an EBN music video
Vera: "What's the Deutsch word for congratulations?"
Nathan: "Congratulerin?"
Vera: "No-- What's the Deutsch word for belonging to somebody?"
Nathan: "Belongenin?"
Vera: "sigh"
Quotes from Fictional Characters
Pirates of the Caribbean
"Oy, Maboogie sninkle sninkle. Tout suite. Come on! I want more wood! More wood, big fire! I am chief, want big fire!"
~Jack Sparrow
"My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled."
~Jack Sparrow
"Rum say-say eunuch-y, snip-snip."
~Jack Sparrow
Elizabeth: There will come a moment when you have a chance to do the right thing.
Jack: I love those moments, I like to wave at them as they pass by...
~POTC: Dead Man's Chest
Pintel: You know you can't read!
Ragetti: It's the Bible. You get credit for trying!
~POTC: Dead Men's Chest
Lord Beckett: "You're mad!"
Jack Sparrow: "Thank goodness for that, if I wasn't, this'd probably never work."
~POTC 3
Stargate SG-1 and Stargate Atlantis
"Unless you get cute, in which case there'll be killin'--and whatnot..."
~Daniel Jackson in "Bad Guys"
"You're hostages, we're your captors, we're heavily armed, there's a whole school of etiquette to these things!"
Woman gives him funny look
"Ohhh, don't eyeball me."
~Daniel Jackson in "Bad Guys"
Science fiction is an existential metaphor that allows us to tell stories about a human condition. Isaac Asimov once said: "Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinded critics and philosophers of today, but the core of science fiction, its essence has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all."
~Grell from Stargate SG-1's 200th Episode
"I do not understand why everything in this script must inevitably explode."
~Teal'c in Stargate SG-1's 200th Episode.
" I'm sure I do, but only because Dr. Fumbles-McStupid over here was in way over his head!"
~ Rodney McKay in "Duet"
A Knight's Tale
"Hope guides me. It is what gets me through the day and especially the night. The hope that after you're gone from my sight it will not be the last time I look upon you."
~ A Knight's Tale
Chaucer: "To trudge: the slow, weary, depressing yet determined walk of a man who has nothing left in life except the impulse to simply soldier on."
William: "Uh, were you robbed?"
Chaucer: "Funny really, yes, but at the same time a huge resounding no. It's more of an... involuntary vow of poverty... really."
~A Knight's Tale
Eragon
"After all, how can a mere dragon expect to tell a man like yourself what to do? In fact, everyone should stand in awe of your brilliance of finding the only dead end."
- Saphira from the book "Eragon"
"That's the spirit - one part brave, three parts fool."
~Jeremy Irons as Brom in Eragon
Various Quotes from Various Sources
Leonidas: "I trust that scratch won't make you useless."
Dilios: "Of course not...It's only an eye, God saw fit to grant me with a spare."
~300
"Chakotay needs to get his head out of the clouds, and get back back to reality. Akuchay Moya my foot."
~Commentor on Sci-Fi Boards
"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? Thought I was the only one."
~C.S. Lewis
"No! He was pastey white, like a midwesterner at a pool!"
~Hoops and Yoyo
Abadon: "Don't push the thrusters either, she demands respect like any good ship."
Tom: "Sounds like you're sorry to see her go."
Abadon:"Well, in some ways she's like the daughter I couldn't marry off, but that doesn't mean I'd sell her to just anyone."
~"Alice" Star Trek Voyager
Vader:"Yeah, and the Empire? Gonna be defeated by Ewoks."
Luke: "That's unlikely?"
~Robot Chicken Sketch
Dudley: "The only people who grow old, are the ones that were born old to begin with."
~The Bishop's Wife
"Well, I don't know why the trainer's surprised... It's not like it's a Snuggly whale- It says right there on the sign "KILLER WHALE". Don't blame it for living up to it's name!"
~Craig Ferguson "The Late Late Show"
"Whatever it is, whatever you need, I don't care. Forget it, O'Connell. Every time I hook up with you, I get shot. Last time I got shot in the ass. I'm in mourning for my ass!"
~Izzy in "The Mummy Returns"
Favorite Shows
Charmed
Criminal Minds
Eureka
Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends
I Love Lucy
Jeff Dunham: Arguing with Myself
Monk
NCIS
Stargate Atlantis
Stargate SG-1
Star Trek (Voyager)
Supernatural
The Cosby Show
Whose Line is it Anyway?
Favorite Movies
The Classics
Arsenic and Old Lace
An Affair to Remember
Fritz Lang's M
Guess Who's Coming To Dinner
It’s a Wonderful Life
La Belle Et La Bete(just imagine the little carrot accent)
Miracle on 34th St. (1947 Version)
Rear Window
Singin' in the Rain
The Birds
The Bishop’s Wife
The Long Long Trailer
The Philadelphia Story
Anything directed by Alfred Hitchcock and with Carey Grant
The New Classics
300
A Knight's Tale
Apollo 13
Batman Begins
Bigger than the Sky
Braveheart
Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe
Dead Poet's Society
Eragon
Finding Forrestor
From Hell
Harry Potter (Prisoner of Azkaban is my FAVORITE!!)
Hearts in Atlantis
Inkheart (Not out, but I loved the book... I see a pattern)
Interview with the Vampire
Kingdom of Heaven
Lord of the Rings Trilogy
Master and Commander: The Far side of the World
National Treasure
Pirates of the Caribbean (Only the first one)
Serenity
Sleepy Hollow
Stargate
Splash
Star Wars (Original 3 and the 3rd new one)
Superman Returns
The Patriot
The Princess Bride
The Red Violin
Troy
X-Men Trilogy
V for Vendetta
Stupid Movies I Adore
Batteries not Included
The Island of Dr. Moreau
Firewall (Only because of Paul Bettany)
The Da Vinci Code (Again, the scrumptious Paul Bettany)
The Mummy
The Mummy Returns (The effects are lame but I love Oded Fehr!)
Favorite Books
Abhorsen Series by Garth Nix
A Cricket in Times Square by George Selden
Birth of Venus by Sarah Dunant
Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White
Eragon Series by Christopher Paolini
Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling
Inkheart by Cornelia Funke
Seventh Tower Series by Garth Nix
The Dark Queen by Susan Carroll
The Golden Compass Series by Phillip Pullman
The Trumpet of the Swan by E.B. White
The Virgin’s Lover by Phillipa Gregory
Trickster Series by Tamora Pierce
Wolf Tower Series by Tanith Lee
Queen of Camelot by Nancy MacKenzie
And several others I can't remember, but if I found them I would probably go "OHHHH, I LOVE that book!"
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