WELCOME TO MY LAIR! LEAVE YOUR SANITY AT THE DOOR—YOU CAN PICK IT UP WHEN YOU LEAVE.

I've updated this so much its insane—just like me! But seriously, my profile is waaaay too long. So I'm shortening it. Or—I'm attempting to.

ABOUT ME: (The Stalker Specifics)

I'm 5/9", caucasian/french/irish/cree cuddly Canadian chick who has steel blue eyes with a thin crescent of gold/yellow around the irises and bright orange glasses. Do NOT ask about my eyes or I WILL tell you a story about alternate dimensions and magic and ninjas. Its better for the both of us if you kept quiet. I'm a straight dirty blond—(myhairisn'tcurlygetyourmindOUT-OF-THAT-GUTTER). My body type is fairly plump but I'm not allowed to call myself 'overweight' or 'chubby,' or heaven forbid 'fat,' so I call myself 'cuddly.' (I don't have self esteem issues and I make fun of my size ALL the time—but I'm not listing my weight here, just because... No.)

ABOUT ME: (The Dork Side)

If I could be ANYTHING I wanted in the whole wideworld, I would be an Assassin. HELLS YA! I play Assassin's Creed for Xbox 360, and well... I'm obsessed. In addition to that, I own a Nintendo 3DS and a whackton of games. (SCRIBBLENAUTS RULES!) Like all good dorks—or is it geeks? Whatever.. Like all good deeks and gorks, I've seen Star wars and I can quote LOTR. Literally. I also watch Pirates of the Caribbean and Phantom of the Opera. DO NOT get me started on the FOP thing. DO NOT. (If you can't tell, I'M A PHANGIRL. If you don't know what a PHANGIRL is, SHAME ON YOU! Now leave before I punjab you for being annoying.) I also watched LES MISERABLES, and it was amazing. I'm a speed reader and have amassed a collection of over 510 books. (Counted last week). Favourite authors include Ted Dekker, JRR Tolkien, Angie Sage, Oliver Bowden, Derek Landy, JK Rowling. I like all music EXCEPT RAP. I play on my electronic Keyboard, draw Dragons, and write Stories. Fanfiction.net has been my favourite lurking site for a while now. (Yes, I was a lurker.)

ABOUT ME: (Stuff that could get me committed or placed in a padded room.)

I believe in dragons, and I think that hunting them should be illegal. Ditto Unicorns, Sea monsters, and Phoenixes. I used to think that rubbing the scale powder from the wings of moths and butterflies onto my skin would enable me to fly. Hot dogs are NOT made out of dachshunds, and yet... O_o I'm not sure, but I think SlenderMan lives in my closet and rearranges all my sock pairs when I'm not around. I know Bloody Mary got tired of my mirror and is now chilling in my fridge, where she loosens all my condiment caps and flattens all my pop. I have a Nazgûl crammed beneath my bathroom sink. I don't know HOW he managed to get under there, but every time I open the cupboard, he screeches at me. The voices in my head tell me I'm crazy, but I know I'm not, tell them to shut up!

I am not as random as you think I salad. But I'm random enough XD