Author has written 3 stories for Private Peaceful, Batman Begins/Dark Knight, and Saw.
Hello, my name is Toffybird.
I am not initially normal... but that's good right?
Well I don't know what else to write, well I guess I can show you some funny stuff that I picked up:
Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.
If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car.
If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.
That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.
When life gives you lemons make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did it.
He who laughs last doesn’t understand the joke.
Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive
They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people...unless they die laughing.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
Don't follow in my footsteps; I run into walls.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.
It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's hilarious.
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance
Smile: it confuses the enemy
Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done
Why don't you slip into something more comfortable; like a coma?
I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try and keep up
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter
Invisible Pink Unicorns are beings of great spiritual power. We know this because they are capable of being invisible and pink at the same time. Like all religions, the faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorn is based upon both logic and faith. We have faith that they are pink; we logically know that they are invisible because we can't see them.
Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap them upside the head.
Don't make a scene? Oh, don't worry, I won't. I'll give you a whole damn Broadway musical!
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
You see madness is like gravity all it takes is a little push.
‘He turns to me, and says ... “WHY SO SERIOUS?”
So, he comes at me with the knife,
“WHY SO SERIOUS?!”
“Let’s put a smile on that face!” And...
“Why so serious?”’
Sometimes I remember it one way. Sometimes another. If I'm going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice!
"Do I look like a guy with a plan?"
“Well depending on the time, he could either be in one place... or several.”
What doesn’t kill you only makes you… stranger.
Do you want to know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick. You can't savour all the... little emotions
If you're good at something, never do it for free.
IMPORTANT. READ! Hello, I just wanted to say... I'm writing a story :D. It doesn't have a name yet but it's a Batman/Dark Night (I know, I couldn't resist :D) story! It might take a little while to upload but it's something to look forward to! THANG-KEW.
OMG! look at what Cleverbot said to me, i all most died of laughter when it said it:
Cleverbot: You should marry someone.
Cleverbot: Yeah, it's delicious!
User: Who should I marry?
Cleverbot: No, Jesus was Batman.
Just thought you should know. :D
I got bored, so I thought I would try it...
If your life was a movie, what would the soundtrack be? Here's how it works:
1. Opening Credits: Truth Or Dare - ICP
2. Waking up: Blaaam! – ICP
3. First Day of College: 86 – Green Day
4. Falling in Love: Castaway –Green Day
5. Kiss Scene: You lied – Green Day
6. Fight Song: Blackin’ Your Eyes - ICP
7. Breaking: A Girl Worth Fighting For – Disney (Mulan, she doesn’t sing it… Well she says a line XD)
8. Graduating College: Are You Kidding Me – Bowling For Soup (XD)
9. Big Break: In My Room - ICP
10. Mental Breakdown: Bully -Shinedown
11. Driving Song: She –Green Day
12. Flashback: Cotton Candy & Popsicles - ICP
13. Getting back together: Dear Agony – Breaking Benjamin
14. Wedding: Super Massive Black Hole - Muse
15. Birth of Child: The Dead One – ICP (… That’s depressing…)
16. Paying Dues: 80 – Green Day
17. Moment of Triumph: Mass Hysteria – Green Day
18. Final Battle: Unholy Confessions – A7x
19. Death Scene: Extraordinary Girl – Green Day
20. Funeral Scene: Disappearing Boy – Green Day
21. End Credit: Willie Bubba - ICP
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