If your story is in my favourites, then be very proud!! Only my favourites are there!! My top four favourites just have to be: The Perfect Match/ When Edward met Bella/ Turning Pointe/ Online Offline. I recommend those four- as they completely blew me away.
These are hilarious!!!!!
On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure?)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)
On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (But no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this.)
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
I find this adorable :)
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose me or your life...
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
Boy: The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile
Things to do at a Supermarket:
Get 24 boxes of shoes and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream... "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"
Throw skittles at people and yell, "Taste the rainbow!'
Go the toy section, get a light-saber and start challenging people to a jedi match.
Follow a random person and if they turn and ask why are you following me yell, "No I won't have sex with you!"
Whenever someone puts something in their cart, put it back on the shelf when they aren't looking. When they begin to say bad words, call them a potty mouth and tell them to scrub their mouths with soap.
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