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Eldalie-mela
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email: Email
since: 02-07-03, id: 339306
web: Homepage
Author has written 2 stories for Harry Potter, and Lord of the Rings.
Hullo, I'm an idiot- but my mum says I'm just special.

I don't know if this is secret so *shoosh* but my friend, Claire, told me something. Yeah, she came up to me oneday and said "Tiani,"
"Yes, Claire?" I responded like a sloth.
"Something." She said- so there you have it.

Apparently in a bio you write about yourself- makes it easier for all you stalkers hmm? I really did have a stalker once, she even followed me to the toilet and kept touching my hair (I hope she washed her hands :S). I call her Purple Lemons now- she even wrote a poem about Purple Lemons- she scares me. I'm also a part time stalker myself- I'm Orlando's deranged stalker :D I even have a cage to put him in once I kidnap him.

Anyway, I'm an uncooked lobster- you wouldn't think it to look at me, what with all this hair on my head and no claws or shell, but I am so you'll have to believe me.

Now for my ramblings:
I love LotR, in particular the character Pippin in the book and in the movie Pippin, Gollum and Legolas.

I also like the Harry Potter series- I relate the most with Dudley I think- Claire will tell you otherwise but she just wants to be the skinniest!

I HATE my knees- screwed my swimming and running up, and I've had one operation on them and I've got 2 more ops on the agenda. I went to the doctor and he goes "Tell me, why are your knees sore?" And I said, "If I knew I wouldn't be here to ask you, dickhead." Then I got a lecture on male anatomy and how certain features are not present on one's head. Then I went to the physio and she poked me in the butt and said "You have no butt muscles!" And I said "I'm INCONSOLLLLLLLAAABLEEEEEEEEE!" And then she gave me exercises to do so now I'm getting butt muscles,Kylie Minogue eat your heart out and write a half decent song for once dammit!

I LOATHE ENTIRELY chauvinists (eg Islamic courts, the pope)and think they should all go shoot themselves- or I'll do it for them. I have about a 107 page plan for chauvinists but to cut a long story short it involves castration (HA HA!).

WAIT ONE MORE THING! Did I mention I just ADORE reviewers? Go ahead, give me a review and I'll add you to my adoration list. 



1. Random LotR » reviews
What happens when an idiot writes.
Lord of the Rings - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 36 - Words: 1,288 - Reviews: 233 - Updated: 10-31-04 - Published: 12-22-03
2. When a Kiss Was a Kiss, and a Sigh Was a Sigh » reviews
Vernon Dursely has the perfect life, but it all threatens to fall apart when long hidden secrets concerning Harry start to haunt him
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Romance/General - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,782 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 11-23-03 - Published: 6-15-03
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