Author has written 67 stories for Ranger's Apprentice.
For all of you who came here to get a laugh, bear with me for a sec while I take care of something.
1) Remember, it is the soldier, not the publisher who gives us the freedom to write. I would like to say thank you to all of our soldiers that may be reading this for some odd reason. Thank you for protecting us and risking everything, you deserve a million smiley faces. :):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
2) Here is something inspirational: Look up Nik Wallenda. This guy is epic. Everybody told him he'd never be able to walk across Niagra Falls on a wire but HE DID IT! And now he's gonna walk across the Grand Canyon sometime! This is just amazing to me. And it has showed me not to listen to others who keep telling me I will never be able to build a Lego house to live in and keep telling me to set realistic dreams
3) I am a proud member of the duct tape club at duckbrand.com (check me out at DTM99)
Onto funny things and whatnot now. FYI, I do not believe in copy and pastes, this profile is about me so why would I have somebody else’s junk on it?
Oh, one more very very big thing I have to say...ahem...Scar is the Johnny Cash of all villains
Oh okay, another one more thing, I have a vocabulary word for y'all: Braltish-something that is terribly tragic. This word was derived from the devastating outcome of the fic Closer Ties
I have a piece of advice for y'all. If you're in an argument and realize you are wrong but still need to argue, just start correcting the other person's grammar and all that:) Or simply use the excuse 'Well if Penguins don't like Giraffes then you, my friend, are wrong!' I don't know why but they get really confused and give up... I guess it has something to do with that whole 'if you can't convince them, confuse them'
Make fun of the Rednecks now but when you're being eaten by the zombies we'll be laughing to hard to care;)
I’ve gotten several messages and reviews asking how I come up with ideas like I do. The simple solution is the voices. It goes something like this:
Voice: You should write something stupidly funny right now
Me: Can’t don’t have any ideas
Voice: Let me help
Me: Last time I let that happen I ended up with Rangers running around playing hide and seek…
Voice: And it was awesome
Voice: Well let’s start with looking at your finger for inspiration, I got a friend living on your fingernail
And it basically goes from there
Many people say that they live in their own small world. Well I am not one of those people for a few reasons:
1) My world is definitely not a small one. It has several large castles and bazillions of pools filled with pudding
2) Saying you live in a small world is bad. The voices could invade and you would be left with a small space to hide in. With a large world, the voices would never find you
3) Who the heck wants anything that is small?
Hopes and Dreams:
I want to build a large Lego house that’s like a maze and I want to cover it in duct tape of varying colors and designs. I will definitely have a pool filled with pudding and a pool filled with plastic balls. My car will be an old truck held together with tape. If I become an author then I will not sit behind a desk to write, I will climb a tree and speak to the voices while writing.
My Theory On Objects:
Ever notice that objects (let's use pens as the example here) never do anything? Well I think this is because nobody really thinks they can. I mean if nobody believed you could talk do you think you'd want to talk? No, they'd pass it off as something short of some fake observance. Therefore, I think that if we get enough people to believe that objects, inanimate that is, CAN do something, they just might.
A few tips to help you get to 18 and possibly beyond:
1) Try not to get strangled by any snuggies, I mean it, those things are evil
2) DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES TRY TO BE LIKE SPIDERMAN
3) In reference to the rule above, do not try and prove people wrong by trying to jump onto the bleachers like him, you will end up unable to do too much (I know from personal experience)
4) I don’t care how cute the puppy looks, don’t give him your bacon, it will only ruin you
5) If somebody says trust me, do not trust them. Chances are you’ll end up dying of laughter because the balloon blew up
6) Epic is a completely epic word only used to describe epic things like the epicness of the Dinocaulay
7) Do not lick the mineral used to make salt...I'm serious...it makes your spit taste salty for at least the next 45 minutes. First ask your teacher if you really have to do it...
8) Doors are not toe compatible
9) Last but not least, do not anger the dino sprinkles or stickers; they are as bad as the snuggies
If you want any more advice just PM me
Now it's time for me to put things here that I found and thought interesting:
"When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
"Jingle Bells" was written by James L. Pierpont, the uncle of famed financier J.P. Morgan. The song, originally titled "The One Horse Open Sleigh," was actually written about Thanksgiving, and was considered a failure when first published in 1857.
The U.S. Capitol includes a subterranean crypt that was meant to serve as the tomb of George Washington. It remains empty, however, as Washington's will stipulated that he be buried at his Virginia estate, Mount Vernon.
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. Scientists believe this is due to a massive collision with another object during the planet's early development.
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