Hey! Before I do anything else: I ACCEPT ANONYMOUS REVIEWS! What fun is reading fanfic if you can't leave a comment? That, and you can comment on my stories, no matter how old they are!! I don't care if I updated two days ago or two years ago, you can comment, it makes me happy!

That said:

NAME: Becky

AGE: 17

BIRTHDAY: February 20th

LIVE IN: Pennsylvania. Honestly not a very fun state. Yawn. I can't go to Hershey unless it is the weekend. And our weather is freaky...95 degrees one day, 67 the next.

SIBLINGS: 2 bros...they just will not read Fanfiction! But I will get them to!! I swear it on the River Styx (PJO, anyone?)

HOBBIES: Reading (Fanfic and books), Cooking, and watching Phineas and Ferb!

FAV TV SHOWS: Phineas and Ferb (duh), Danny Phantom (epicness!), M*A*S*H (die of laughter almost every time), iCarly, Big Time Rush, The Ghost Whisperer,NCIS, and Worlds Dumbest (it really is dumb)

FAV BOOKS: Percy Jackson!!!!!!!(actually, all books by Rick Riordan), I Am Number 4, The Power of Six, The Darkest Powers Series

FAV AUTHORS: Rick Riordan, James Patterson, Kelley Armstrong (is that how you spell it?), Pittacus Lore (don't think that's his real name O.O), Andy McGrath, and Kathy Reichs

FAV SONGS: We Weren't Born to Follow by Bon Jovi, She's So Gone by Naomi Scott (from Lemonade Mouth), Bless the Broken Road by Rascall Flatts, Pray by Justin Bieber (don't judge me!), Oh Yeah, Invisible, and Paralyzed by Big Time Rush, EVERYTHING by Ross Lynch (he freaking ROCKS), Bowling for Soup, and R5 and about a million others you could fill a book with. And don't even ask me to pick my favorite Phineas and Ferb songs! (Summer, Man Where Do We Begin, Phineas and Ferb:Happy New Year, and Summer Belongs to You, if neccesary)

MY TWO BIGGEST PET PEEVES ON FANFICTION:

1. NOT USING PUNCTUATION/CAPATALIZATION. What the heck is so hard about capatalizing things and using commas, periods, question marks, etc? I hate that, especially when I see a sentence like this (I made this up so no one would be offended):

hey phineas whatcha doin said isabella as she walked into the yard not much phineas said looking up at her ferb waved and she sat down next to them hey wheres perry phineas asked

I can understand if English isn't your first language, but if it is, the above sentence is unacceptable. Seriously.

2. PEOPLE WHO DON'T READ STORIES BECAUSE THEY DON'T LIKE THE PAIRING/PEOPLE WHO REVIEW HARSHLY BECAUSE THEY DON'T LIKE THE PAIRING. I may support Phinabella, Buford/Adyson, Balinger, and Ferbnessa/Ferbolly (my pairing of Ferb/Holly), but I like to read stories involving Ferbella, Phinessa, and sometimes even (don't judge) Bujeet. Come on. Just cause you don't like a pairing doesn't mean you shouldn't read possibly the best story ever, or review it in a nasty way. Give the other pairings a chance, and don't hurt an author's feelings!!

FAVORITE FANFIC STORIES: You must read these!! I know I have a fave list at the bottom, but these are my absolute faves!! I've indented the most awesome, but I love them all! I've included a small descriptor for each to get you interested:

A New Normal by Amelie Nockturne: Percy Jackson meets Danny Phantom!! Freaking awesome! Percy goes to visit his second cousin Danny, and things get crazy!!

Abnormal Findings by One Heart That Stands Alone: Phineas and Ferb.This is a must read! Phineas and Candace accidentally get turned into frogs, Perry can talk, and there is so much confusion!! Poor Ferb! Can I say that this story is the reason I started reading and writing fanficiton?

Adventures in Platypus Sitting by Animation Nut: Phineas and Ferb. Buford and Baljeet are taking care of Perry, and they accidentally get kidnapped! Can Perry save them? Love it!!

AJ's Doubts by OddAuthor: Fairly Odd Parents. AJ knows something is up with Timmy, so when he gets kidnapped, he has to find out what is wrong. One of the best!!

Back Across, and With These One Shots by Radar180: Phineas and Ferb. A series based on Phineas, Ferb, and Perry's relationship. Adorable, and nothing else to say. Read it!!

Another Day by Radar180: Phineas and Ferb. Isabella and Pinky cuteness! During the Robot Riot.

Come Home Perry by The Sole Survivor: Phineas and Ferb. Perry's POV during the episode "Oh, There You Are Perry." Plain awesome.

Going Up by Danny Phantom SG-1: Danny Phantom. Don't read unless prepared to cry. This is one of the most touching stories that I have ever read.

Graduation by Zizzy333: Danny Phantom. Danny is graduating, and he decides to do a little favor for Mr. Lancer before he leaves.

In the Dark by TheCuriousWriter: Phineas and Ferb. Phineas gets kidnapped, and it's up to Ferb and Perry to find him again, before something bad happens to them! FREAKING AWESOME!

iPsychic by abracadabra94: iCarly. Freddie is psychic, and something is up with Sam. Will he come clean?

Man Of Action by NinjaNovelist: Phineas and Ferb. Ferb's thoughts during the movie. The ending made me so happy, so just read it!!

Misplaced Platypus by Phantom Misfit: Phineas and Ferb and Danny Phantom crossover! Perry gets stuck in Danny's dimension, and he needs Danny's help to get back home.

Phineas and Ferb: Take Two! by Animation Nut: Phineas and Ferb. Bloopers from Phineas and Ferb episodes. Read if you need to laugh!

PnF: Ghosts by Sols06: Phineas and Ferb. Ferb gets turned invisible, and no one can hear him! What are they to do???

PnF: Species is a Constant by Sols06: Phineas and Ferb. Ferb gets turned into a dog, and then goes missing! Will Phineas find him in time to turn him back? So good, and made me laugh, too!! Bonus!

Proven Wrong by Easternbluebird: Danny Phantom. Danny Phantom and Maddie wind up in the Ghost Zone, with Danny powerless! What will Maddie find out, and how will they get back home?

Sounds in the Dark by Sleepyreader13: Danny Phantom. Maddie hears Danny in the middle of the night, and things get crazy! Read it!!!!!

Stargazing by FashionDiva7: Danny Phantom. Maddie didn't expect to find Phantom in her favorite stargazing spot. One of my faves from Danny Phantom!

The Animal Accident by Katerina Riley: Phineas and Ferb. Perry gets turned into a human, and now he can't go home! Will Vanessa be able to help him? Beats me, but I will find out!

Titanium by huggablelove: Phineas and Ferb. Phineas and Vanessa get kidnapped, so Ferb, Perry, and Dr. D must go rescue them! READ IT, READ IT, READ IT! It's amazing!!!

Worth a Thousand Words by The Sole Survivor: Phineas and Ferb. In my opinion, one of the best written Phineas and Ferb one-shots ever. Perry's pictures from the movie, and how they came to be. Read it, and you won't regret it!

Photoshop by sarahhaley: Danny Phantom. Dash and Kwan get a hold of a class picture and play around with photoshop. What they find about a certain raven haired teen could change everything. Read! Full of humor and awesomeness!

Last call by wfea: Danny Phantom. What would you do with your last five minutes on earth? Who would you call? This amazing story makes the characters think of this question in depth, and they make some calls that they never expected to. I loved this story!!!!!

Heaven Was Needing a Hero by Urhairsmellsnice: Phineas and Ferb. I cried reading this. It is such an amazing story, and it has an amazing song to go with it. I can't express how much this story makes me feel stronger about all the people I've lost in life. I also can't express what great writing this is. You'll just have to read it for yourself.

Diversity by Iymea: Danny Phantom and Ghost Whisperer crossover. I just recently got into this show with my mom, and boy is this a great crossover to read when you love the show so much! And it kind of makes sense. Hello, ghost whisperer, ghost? Anyway, just read this!

Phantom Gravity by Mystic Piss: Danny Phantom and Gravity Falls crossover. The only DP/GF crossover as of now, but its so great! Danny, Sam, Tucker and everyone go to Gravity Falls for a ghost hunting convention, and while there, the trio runs into the twins...and a monster! What will be revealed...IDK, just read it!! Amazing!

More stories will be added as read, but stick with these ones for now. I've indented the best, so ENJOY!! And yes, I do still love all the others as well, so don't spazz!

What are my top 5 favorite Phineas and Ferb episodes?? Well, if I really have to pick, 1) THE MOVIE!!!!, 2) Summer Belongs to You, 3) Excaliferb, 4) Oh, There You Are Perry, and 5) Primal Perry

Likes: Children, Phineas and Ferb, reading, English class, Phineas and Ferb, SEDDIE!, singing, playing the cowbell (yes, I actually do. In my church choir), Phineas and Ferb...did I already say that??

Dislikes: War, Brussel Sprouts, Creddie (gross! Ever notice how they look like siblings?), raw onions, my last name (which you will never know!!!! mwahahaha), and people who chew their gum loudly with their mouths open (why can't it stay in the mouth????? do you need to play with it?)

FAVORITE QUOTES: Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend. -Albert Camus

Those who build beneath the stars build to low. -Edward Young

The only way to have a friend is to be one. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

One's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains it's original dimensions. -Oliver Wendell Holmes

QUOTES BY MOI!!

If you fall down, I'll laugh at you, and then I'll help you up. Sorry, that's just the way I am.

I don't know what's happening.

Don't judge me. You never know when I may need to save your life.

You called me a jerk. A jerk is a tug, a tug is a boat, a boat goes on water, water is nature, and nature is beautiful. Thank you for the compliment.

Favorite Quotes from Fanfic stories (bolded and indented are from my own stories):

"Ferb! How did you do that? Are you magical or something?"

Ferb snorted. "Or something. There was a false bottom."

-Revenge on the Platypus

Line Break

"Uh... Perry the Platypus?" Heinz chuckled nervously. "Yeah, I'm over here. Yeah I uh... I forgot my keys so I thought I— you know, just fit through the uh..."

Perry ignored him and opened the door. "Oh good, you're going to go get-"

Perry stuck a sign on his behind and walked off. Phineas and Ferb burst into laughter at the Kick Me sign.

The director could not help but grin. "Classic."

-Phineas and Ferb: Take Two! by AnimationNut

Line Break

Danny stood up out of his chair, his expression surprisingly blank considering the situation, but there was still an undertone of reluctance and anxiety in his movement.

"I'm 'Goin' Ghost', and all of that."

-Photoshop by sarahhaley

Line Break

Phineas grinned and turned to Buford, already holding two guitars. Phineas paused. "Where do you keep those instruments?"

Buford shrugged. "I'll never tell."

-Math Class the Musical!

Line Break

Perry sighed. Maybe there was more to the song than he thought.

He ripped off the Statue of Liberty garb and looked over at Dr. Doofenshmirtz, who was peering down at the floor from his pillar.

"Now…how do we get down from here?" the doctor said, glancing over at his nemesis.

-With These Blueprints: Perry's View

Line Break

"Is this a freaking waterbed? What the Hades, Perce?"

"Got something against water?" I asked mock-innocently. He looked about ready to bite me.

"Um, am I missing something?" Danny asked.

-A New Normal by Amelie Nockturne

Line Break

"Don't hurt Ferb! He has the house key," Phineas called.

"What?!" Ferb yelled.

"I mean, don't hurt Ferb. He's my brother," Phineas called again.

-Saving the World Again by gravity5

Line Break

Phineas closed his eyes and wished with all his heart that his family could be happy again.

-For Her Who is More by KuraiArcoiris

YOU KNOW YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH PHINEAS AND FERB, WHEN...

YOU USE THE CHARACTER'S CATCHPHRASES AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. (Duh. Hey, Whatcha doin?)

YOU KNOW MOST OF THE ACTORS' NAMES. (Um, more like all of them- hey the guy who plays Gaston la Mode has the same birthday as me!)

YOUR DAD SENDS YOU A TEXT SAYING "YOU BETTER NOT BE HAVING A PARTY" AND YOU SAY IT'S AN "INTIMATE GET TOGETHER" (Don't have a cell, but i have used that excuse before)

YOU KNOW THE LYRICS TO ALL OR MOST OF THE SONGS.(Uh, hello?? do you know who you're talking to? all of them!)

YOU SEE AN ORANGE AND WHITE STRIPED SHIRT, AND THINK OF PHINEAS. (Not only when i see one, but I own one!)

YOU SEE PURPLE PANTS AND THINK OF FERB. (Yup. Wish I had a pair)

YOU THINK OF THE SHOW WHEN YOU HEAR ANY OF THE CHARACTER'S NAMES. (I'm probably already thinking about it)

YOU ARE DYING TO GO TO AUSTRALIA, JUST TO SEE A PLATYPUS. (Heck yeah!)

DRAWINGS OF THE CHARACTERS APPEAR ON YOUR SCHOOL WORK QUITE OFTEN. (Perry the Platypus on just about every page. its in my sig)

YOU TURN THE TRIANGLES IN YOUR MATH WORKBOOK INTO PHINEAS. (Yes, and I've gotten in trouble for it. i also drew Perry in my History book)

YOU KNOW PLENTY OF RANDOM FACTS ABOUT THE SHOW, AND DON'T MIND SHARING THEM WITH EVERYONE. (they get kind of annoyed by it, too. did you know the tip of a shoelace is an aglet?)

YOU HAVE AT LEAST ONE PNF T-SHIRT, HAVE DRESSED UP AS AT LEAST ONE OF THE CHARACTERS, AND HAVE AT LEAST ONE PLUSHIE. (Yes, yes, and sadly, no. But i will get one!)

YOUR PUMPKINS AT HALLOWEEN HAD PHINEAS AND FERB CARVED INTO THEM. (It didn't end well, but yeah, sort of)

YOU DRAW THE CHARACTERS ON YOUR EASTER EGGS. (I drew Perry once, and my uncle ate him!! i have photographic proof, too.)

THE CHARACTERS APPEAR IN YOUR DREAMS. (All the time)

YOU TALK TO YOUR PLUSHIE VERSION OF THE CHARACTERS. (No, but I talk to my poster and PEZ versions)

YOU HAVE A CRUSH AT LEAST ONE OF THE VOICE ACTORS AND/OR CHARACTERS. (Actor: Vincent Martella, Character: FERB!! I LUV U!)

YOU OWN A FEDORA. (Got it for Christmas)

YOU TALK TO YOURSELF/TO THE CHARACTERS, WHILE WATCHING AN EPISODE. (Is that a bad thing?)

YOU HAVE CONTACTED ONE OR BOTH OF THE CREATORS. (I tried. Believe me i did.)

YOU IMAGINE YOURSELF WITH THE CHARACTERS. (I wish I could be with them!)

YOU PREORDER PHINEAS AND FERB: ACROSS THE 2ND DIMENSION. (Nope. Mom and Dad wouldn't let me)

YOU OFTEN COMPARE BOOKS/MOVIES/OTHER TV SHOWS TO PHINEAS AND FERB. (Always. Ever notice how Phineas' name is in a Percy Jackson book?)

YOU SOMETIMES PRETEND YOU ARE A SEMI-AQUATIC, EGG LAYING MAMMAL OF ACTION. (Not the egg laying part, but yeah, everything else.)

YOU GIVE YOUR PET THEIR OWN THEME SONG, TO THE TUNE OF PERRY'S. (I don't have a pet...dumb landlord)

YOUR RINGTONE IS THE PERRY THE PLATYPUS THEME. (Don't have a cell, but it would be if I did)

YOUR IPOD KNOWS TO CAPTILIZE PHINEAS AND FERB, ALTHOUGH IT THINKS THEY'RE NOT REAL WORDS (No Ipod, but my computer does.)

YOU'VE SEEN THE SHOW IN SEVERAL LANGUAGES. (English, Spanish, French, Portugese, Dutch, Pig Latin, Dog and everyone's favorite!)

YOU SING THE SONGS IN GYM CLASS. SOMETIMES WHILE DANCING LIKE A MANIAC. (No, but once Squirrels in my Pants came on at a school dance and I went crazy)

WHEN ASKED WHAT YOU'D LIKE TO DO THIS SUMMER, YOU RESPOND IN A LINE FROM THE THEME SONG. (Building a rocket or fighting a mummy or climbing up the Eiffel Tower, Discovering something that doesn't exist or giving a monkey a shower. surfing tidal waves, creating nanobots or locating Frankensteins brain-its over there! finding a dodo bird, painting a continent or driving my brothers insane-i have no sisters)

YOU HAVE A NEMESIS. (Stupid Landlord/James Smith)

YOU CREATED AN 8-BIT REMIX OF THE PNF THEME. (A who-now?)

YOU CURSE THINGS IN A WAY SIMILAR TO THE DR. D CURSES PERRY, WHEN SOMETHING/SOMEONE MAKES YOU MAD. (Curse you Al the landlord!!)

YOU ASK YOUR PARENTS "WHERE'S PERRY?" AND THEY ASK YOU "WHO'S PERRY?" (No, they know who Perry is. But i do ask it waaay too often in their minds)

YOU ARE PLANNING ON CALLING YOUR KIDS XAVIER AND AMANDA (Not really...sorry. not a big fan of the names)

*Note: If you have all/most of these symptoms, you may have "Irving Syndrome." Consulting a doctor may result in laughing, embarrassment, and/or humiliation. (Shoot, I think I have it!)

Paraprosdokian sentences-- A paraprosdokian (from Greek meaning "beyond" and,meaning "expectation") is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or reinterpret the first part. (I enjoy doing this to people. Take a look and annoy them!)

Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. (So true.)

Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. (No duh)

Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. (Hee hee)

Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. (yeah...)

Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. (True...how do you act when no one is looking?)

Ø War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Or ambidextrous)

Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. (DON'T! IT IS GROSS!)

Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. (Get it?)

Ø Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. (Always...unless, ironically, it's for sports)

Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. (Not according to my English teacher)

Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. (Cause my work stops there)

Ø Some people are like Slinky’s ... Not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs. (It's so funny!)

Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks. (OK. Not really right now...but maybe later)

Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it. (Anyone?)

Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". (*Snicker*)

Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. (There is a difference, people!)

Ø I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?" (Wonder what the shirt was actually for...)

Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? (Raise your hand if you've done this)

Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. (So true)

Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? (What is wrong with this country?)

Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. (yup.)

Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. (Who, me?)

Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas! (Shut up! I'm trying to type!!)

Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. (Or, if he does, give him less.)

Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. (WOO!! I GET TO RIDE THE DEATH TRAIN!)

Ø Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were. (My cousins...)

Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. (True. So does chocolate)

Ø I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot. (I do!! I freaked my Mom out that way)

Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go (Which am I? Let's walk away and find out...YEAH!...Ok, not funny)

Ø I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. (Don't think He works that way, either)

JUST BECAUSE I NEED MORE STUPIDITY ON MY PROFILE, I FOUND THIS:

What my mother has taught me:

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

My mother taught me RELIGION "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC " Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me MORE LOGIC "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident ."

My mother taught me IRONY "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!

My mother taught me about the WORLD "The earth does not revolve around you little missy!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

My mother taught me WEATHER "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

My mother taught me HYPOCRISY "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION "Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me: ENVY "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION "Just wait until we get home."

My mother taught me: RECEIVING "You are going to get it when you get home!"

My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

My mother taught me: ESP "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

My mother taught me: HUMOR "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My Mother taught me: Genetics "I swear you're just like your father."

My Mother taught me about my Roots "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My Mother taught me Wisdom "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

My mother taught me about Justice "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

Questions just to puzzle you:

Ever wonder where we are heading? (Hopefully up or forward)

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? (And in most cases, burns it?)

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? (Ha ha. They look like fish...I'm a girl too, so it's not technically an insult)

Why you don't ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"? (Because then there would be controversy...right?)

Why "abbreviated" is such a long word? (Is there a way to abbreviate 'abbreviate?')

Why doctors call what they do "practice"? (Makes you rethink that check-up)

Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98? (It's like pressing the IN to go OUT)

Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing fluid is made with real lemons? (What are they feeding us??)

Why there isn't mouse-flavoured cat food? (Hate to be the person who has to test that)

Who tastes dog food when it has a "new and improved" flavour? (They must get payed a whole lot of money)

Why they sterilize the needles for lethal injections? (Shiver)

Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box? (Cause then it wouldn't fly)

Why sheep don't shrink when it rains? (That'd be so uncomfortable)

Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together? (I...I got nothin)

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? (Yes. Yes it is)

Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe? (Also makes you rethink taking that vacation)

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual instructions on consumer goods.

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (What are you supposed to do, steal it?)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (How else am I supposed to use it?)

On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Drat.)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Oh, I thought it would be cold!)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But what if it's really, REALLY cold outside?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (What are Korean's using their knives for? Hopefully a translation error...)

On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (I must know the other use!!!)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (Really? Are you sure?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (Wait, you open them and THEN eat them?)

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief. Let's just destroy a child's dreams!)

A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago: Do not activate with wet hands. (So, what, you stand there like an idiot until your hands are dry? "Excuse me, sir, I need you to turn on this hand dryer for me! Oh, your hands are wet too? Then I guess I'll just wait.")

On a king size mattress: Warning, do not attempt to swallow. (I would love to know where some of these warning labels come from.)

NOW THAT I'VE WASTED YOUR DAY, LET ME CONTINUE TO DO SO IN THE REST OF MY PROFILE (-=

Fancy a challenge? Try this:I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile!

If you spend multiple hours a day reading, writing, or a combination of both, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

Ninety-five percent of kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of that five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara- Minamino, Yabie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, Browned-angelofmusic, Piratesswriter/ fairy to be, The Gypsy- PirateQueen, Caffy91, Lady of the Serpents, taynzpink, JayJay3493, Randy Taylor, XxiLove AmandaxX, xxiCarlyFanxx,PFTones3482

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you think Seddie is much better than Creddie, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled the handle on a door that said push, copy this into your profile

If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you've ever fallen going UP the stairs, put this in your profile.

92 percent of teens have moved onto rap. If you are part of the 8 that still listen to real music, copy and paste this into your profile.

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace or Facebook, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't ever been asked out. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15, Marigold Winters, SparklingTopazEyes, my name is paper YAH, Sakurablossom24, Rhianna224, Kisa T. Sohma, Lone-wolf761,charmed4lifekaren, Princess Marauder, iheartmwpp, FerbulousGirl, PFTones3482

If you are part of the .0000001 percent of people who don't have a MySpace and Facebook, copy this onto your profile.

-If you think you cannot live without music, copy this into your profile.

-Copy and paste this on your profile if you think that some of the fanfics that you read should be made into a movie/cartoon episode of said movie/cartoon

-If you actually take the time to read other people's profiles, put this in yours.

-If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you have your own little world, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this onto your profile

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. And when you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else.

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs..."

People think you're insane.

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week one week, and then dissappear off the face of the earth the next.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start laughing for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

If you even know 5 of these songs, then you actually listen to some good music! If not, go to youtube!! (Don't get me wrong, love Gaga and all that, but we need some good music these days)

We Weren't Born to Follow by Bon Jovi

Oh Yeah by Big Time Rush (You'd be surprised)

Crocodile Rock by Elton John (Gnomeo and Juliet!)

Generation Love by Jennette McCurdy (Yeah, she sings too!)

Take it Easy by The Eagles

The Eye of the Tiger by Survivor

Viva la Vida by Coldplay

Old Time Rock and Roll by Bob Seger

The Devil Went Down to Georgia by Charlie Daniels

If Today was Your Last Day by Nickleback

God Bless the Broken Road by Rascall Flatts (Hannah Montana the Movie)

Piano Man by Billy Joel

Live Like you Were Dyin by Tim McGraw

This One's for the Girls by Martina McBride

100 Years to Live by Five for Fighting

The World I Knew by Jordin Sparks

She's So Gone by Naomi Scott (From Lemonade Mouth)

Highwire by Lemonade Mouth (Actually freaking amazing!)

This Time by Pia Tascano (So Random!)

Believe by Travis Garland

This is Our Someday by Big Time Rush (Seriously one of the best songs I have ever listened to)

Invisible by Big Time Rush (Amazing, makes me want to cry. It's not sad, but it's so gorgeously amazing.)

Live Like We're Dying by Kris Allen (I wasn't thinking of this song on here until I read this one Danny Phantom fanfic, and this song really makes you think. It's a life changer)

Africa by Toto (My gosh, it's such a powerful song. It makes my heart swell with happiness every time. What, too girly?)

Stand by Rascall Flatts (This song makes me feel like I can do anything)

Here I am to Worship by Michael Smith (Has to be my favorite church song. It's so amazing and really says something about a persons love for God.)

The Gift by Aselin Debison (The most underated yet gorgeous Christmas song I've ever heard. It's so beautiful, and it shows what Christmas is really about)

Like a Lion by Newsboys (A gorgeous song I first heard in Youth Group. Not positive that that is the artist, but either way, it's an amazing song)

Highway to Hell by ACDC (It amuses me greatly)

Why do we sleep in church, but when the cerimony is over we suddenly wake up? Why is it so hard to talk about God, but so easy to talk about sex? Why are we so bored when we look at a Apostolic magazine, but find it easy to read Playboy? Why is it so easy to ignore a Godly Facebook message, Yet we repost the nasty ones? Why are churches getting smaller, But bars and clubs are growing? Think about it, are you going to repost this? Are you going to ignore it, cause you think you'll get laughed at? Just remember God is always watching you.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up.

He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism!

COME TO MY PARTY!

THE TIGHTEST PARTY IN THE WORLD!

I'm throwing a party, there will be a DJ... everyone is invited!

So everyone come, but first read the rest of this bulletin.

Come Kick it at The Biggest Party Ever!

DETAILS BELOW..

Special Guests: Jesus Christ, God The Father, Featuring: DJ Holy Spirit.

When: When you enter the Gates of Heaven

Where: Kingdom of Heaven

How: Just Ask

Why: Because God Loves You!

...Come As You Are! Bring Nothing but Your Heart and Soul.

98% of Teens Won't Stand Up For GOD...

Repost this if you're one of the 2% who will...

Jesus said, "If you deny me in front of your friends, I will deny you in front of my Father."

Repost as Come to My Party!

Even when you can't see Him, GOD IS THERE!! If you believe in God, then put this in your profile. If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this; because in the Bible, it says that if you deny me, then I shall deny you before my Father in the gates of Heaven.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't ignore it because the Bible says that If you deny Me, I will deny you in front of My Father and the glory of Heaven.

When you say I'm ugly, I say, "God made everything beautiful."

When you say animals are dumb, I ask, "Then why did God create them first?"

When you say that someone is gay/lesbian, I say, "God doesn't care, and I don't care, so neither should you. He created them that way."

When you say that God doesn't love us, I ask, "Then why did he give us His only son?"

When you say no one believes in God, I say, "I believe."

When you say that God doesn't exist, I ask, "Then why are there miracles?"