Hi. I'm Megan Sleevewillow. I'm nineteen years old, and this is my profile page. It's cobbled together with stuff I've collected over the years. Enjoy.

Hobbies: Reading fantastic stories on Fanfiction.net, writing on Fanfiction.net, being baaaaad, making it to the bathroom in time, plotting to someday take over the world, traveling, and participating in the Pyro Club.

Favorite Books:
Animorphs Series
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, and The Return of the King
Harry Potter Books
Dear America: Voyage on the Great Titanic
The Cask of Amontillado
These Is My Words
The Hollow Kingdom (I love the Goblin King!)
The Chronicles of Narnia
Pirates!
His Dark Materials
Squire's Tales
Princess Academy
Jurassic Park
Timeline

Favorite Movies:
Bend it like Beckham
Moulin Rouge
The Wizard of Oz
Lord of the Rings trilogy
Star Wars Movies
Pirates of the Carribean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
Princess of Thieves
Beauty and the Beast
The Lion King
Secondhand Lions
Ed Wood
From Hell
Hidalgo
Secret Window
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
King Arthur
The Prince and Me
Doctor Zhivago (The Mini-Series with Keira Knightley)
Titanic
The Mummy and the Mummy Returns
Hellboy
Catwoman (Yes, I am serious. It honestly wasn't as bad as everyone says it is)
Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story
The Work and the Glory
The Work and the Glory: American Zion
The Phantom of the Opera
Paint Your Wagon
The Sound of Music
South Pacific (The Original)
National Treasure
The Terminal
Tombstone
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
The Power of One
Tin Man
Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Favorite TV shows:
Simpsons
Futurama
Family Guy
X-Men Evolution
Tremors
ER
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Angel
Lost
The Daily Show
The Colbert Report
Law and Order: SVU
MythBusters
Dirty Jobs
The Discovery Channel in General. It's my new Crack.

Favorite bands/Singers:
Good Charlotte! (BEST BAND EVER!)
Evanescence
Clay Aiken
Avril Lavigne
Backstreet Boys
Kelly Clarkson
Josh Groban
Keith Urban
Big and Rich
Spice Girls
Johnny Cash

Favorite Songs:
I'm With You By Avril
All Good Charlotte Songs
This is the Night by Clay Aiken
Beauty and the Beast from Beauty and the Beast
Can you feel the Love tonight? From the Lion King
In Dreams and May it be from the Fellowship of the Ring Soundtrack
Come What May and El Tango de Roxanne from Moulin Rouge
Going Under By Evanescence
The Steward of Gondor (BILLY! SING TO MEEE!) and Into the West from the ROTK Soundtrack
Measure of a Man by Clay Aiken
A Moment Like This and Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson
Every song on Backstreet Boys "Never Gone"
"Remember When it Rained," "When You Say You Love Me," and "Starry, Starry Night" by Josh Groban.
"I Pray For You," "Eighth of November," and many other songs by Big and Rich.

Favorite Male Celebrities:
Viggo Mortensen
Johnny Depp
James Marsters
Ewan McGreggor
Benji Madden
Jonathan Rhys-Meyers
Clay Aiken
Clive Owen
Jorge Garcia (This is the best: HE KNOWS I EXIST!)
Adrien Brody
Sean Bean
David Wenham
James Stewart
Johnny Cash
Gene Wilder
Jonathan Scarfe
Eddie Izzard

Favorite Female Celebrities:
Keira Knightley (I saw here BEFORE Pirates of the Caribbean! Stuff that in your pipe and smoke it!)
Nicole Kidman
Parminder K. Nagra
Natalie Portman
Madeline Kahn
Kate Winslet
Alexis Bledel
Fay Masterson

Things I hate/am annoyed by:
Saurkraut
Fish
Some Democrats
Spiders
Orlando Bloom (Gasp! Oh no! Whats wrong with me? I have a brain, that's what!)
Soap Operas
Jane Fonda (SHE IS LYING TRAITEROUS PIG SCUM!)
Liberals.

Things I like that have not been mentioned:
My dog POTZER!
My mommy's cooking (She makes the best cabbage soup in the world!)
The Salt Lake City Area, where my big sis and brother-in-law live. (They had this Smith's nearby their first apartment, and you can check yourself out and...THEY HAVE SHINY PENNIES THAT THEY CAN GIVE YOU!)
My grandma
Anaheim California
CHEESE!
CABBAGE!
Apparently, guy's with big noses. This is what my mom tells me. I do rather like David Wenham, Sean Bean, and Adrien Brody...
Eddie Izzard's Stand-up Comedy.
Saltines with ketchup...I saw it on 'The Terminal' and it looked too enticing...
Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic
Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman.

Things I wanna do before I die:
( )See the Great Pyramids
( )Publish a Novel
( )Meet Keira Knightley, Johnny Depp, Benji Madden (Well, all of Good Charlotte),and Viggo Mortensen
( )See the wreckage of the Titanic
( )See Stonehenge
( )Live in a foreign country for a while (Somewhere in Europe. Probably Germany or England.)
( )Become Rich and Famous (My dad and I have a pact that when I become Rich and Famous, he'll have a custom car made for him, and I'll foot the bill for all those times I almost screwed up his truck.)
( ) See the Great Wall
( ) Go to Asia
( ) Go to Africa
( ) Go to South America
( ) Go to Russia
( ) Go to Australia/New Zealand
( ) Visit a Concentration Camp
( ) See the Taj Mahal

A little shout out to people that put me on their faves and author alerts list: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! YOU ARE ALL SO AWESOME! YOU NEED ANYTHING, i.e. a fic to cheer you up or something, E-MAIL ME!!

And for the peeps on my Fave Authors' List:
Freak Apple: HILARIOUS Animorphs writer. She made me choke on corn. 'Nuff said.
Mousie2: Brilliant gal from Down Under. Read her Harry Potter fic and her LOTR ones look good as well. I still need to read em.
PrincessEilonwy: I forgot why she's on here...No I'm not joking...It was for a LOTR story...
Tani: Very good Moulin Rouge writer. Why Does My Heart Cry is such a beatiful story, it brought me to tears.
OMightyWifeofShinigami: My friend, Michelle. Her "Lord of the Shiny Round Thing" is hilarious! But, it has been deleted. BOO!
Lisa de Lujun: My friend, who has advanced in her writing skills. I'm proud of her!
The Noble Platypus: MAGNIFICENT, ABSOLUTELY STUNNING PARODY WRITER! All of her fics are good, and she is so friendly and funny!
READ ALL OF THEIR FICS LEST YE INCUR MY WRATH!

Current Projects

Future Projects
Planned Moulin Rouge Project -- A sequel to "Until the End of Time" that doesn't have a name for now. It involves Natalie getting her heart broken...And that's all I'm going to say.
More "What Would (Insert name here) do for a Klondike Bar?" Fics -- These are spastic and will appear whenever the muse lets me, or Jack does not hide the keyboard from me.
Jack: Oh no, don't get them to guilt trip me!
Me: But it's true!
Jack: THEY DIDN'T SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO IN WHAT WOULD CJS DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR!
Me: ... -Prods Jack with a cattle prod, and he faints- There we are...
The end of my Animorphs Series -- I'm rewriting every one and replacing the chapters, and then I shall finally finish the last chapter.
Perhaps a story for the Sparrow Children.
A Sequel to my Mummy fic.

Favorite quotes from Pirates of the Caribbean, the Curse of the Black Pearl:
Jack: I know its hard for you but stay right here and try not to do anything stupid.

Jack: Who made all these?
Will: I did. And I practice with them three hours a day!
Jack: You need to find yourself a girl, mate! Or, perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you already found one and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch, are you? (Looks down)

(Will points a pistol at Barbossa)
Barbossa: You only have one shot and we can't die boy.
Jack: Don't do anything stupid!
Will: You can't. (Points the pistol at himself) But I can.
Jack: Like that.

Jack: When you marooned me on that godforsaken Island, you forgot one thing mate. I'm Captain Jack Sparrow.

Favorite Eddie Izzard Quotes (Courtesy of Melanie):
'I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over. Cause if a woman falls over wearing heels, that’s embarrassing. But if a bloke falls over wearing heels, you have to kill yourself.'

'If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, "Heimlich maneuver," and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say "Heimlich maneuver" when you're choking to death. '

'Pol Pot killed one point seven million Cambodians, died under house arrest, well done there. Stalin killed many millions, died in his bed, aged seventy-two, well done indeed. And the reason we let them get away with it is they killed their own people. And we're sort of fine with that. Hitler killed people next door. Oh, stupid man. After a couple of years we won't stand for that, will we?'

'Cause, "Cake or death?" That's a pretty easy question. Anyone could answer that. "Cake or death?" "Eh, cake please." "Very well! Give him cake!" "Oh, thanks very much. It's very nice." "You! Cake or death?" "Uh, cake for me, too, please." "Very well! Give him cake, too! We're gonna run out of cake at this rate. You! Cake or death?" "Uh, death, please. No, cake! Cake! Cake, sorry. Sorry..." "You said death first, uh-uh, death first!" "Well, I meant cake!" "Oh, all right. You're lucky I'm Church of England! Cake or death?"'

'But with dogs, we do have “bad dog.” Bad dog exists. “Bad dog! Bad dog! Stole a biscuit, bad dog!” The dog is saying, “Who are you to judge me? You human beings who’ve had genocide, war against people of different creeds, colors, religions, and I stole a biscuit! Is that a crime? People of the world!” “Well, if you put it that way, I think you’ve got a point. Have another biscuit, sorry.”'

'I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.'

'And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do," but I think the gun helps, you know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, "Bang!" That's not going to kill too many people, is it? You'd have to be really dodgy on the heart to have that. Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).'

'My sexuality is straight transvestite or male lesbian. It seems we are beyond the idea that I am gay and hiding it. If I had to describe how I feel in my head, I'd say I'm a complete boy plus half a girl. I don't seem to have the sixth sense that women have or their stronger senses of taste and smell. Gay men can also have it but straight men don't.'

'I definitely have breast envy. When teenage girls were saying 'I wish I had breasts', I was thinking the same thing.'

'I can go from blokey to girlie in 15 minutes and then I'm out the door. But that's the fastest I can do it. Becoming a woman takes work.'

Favorite Quotes from Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest:
Jack: to Elizabeth You know, these clothes do not flatter you at all. It should be a dress or nothing. I happen to have no dress in my cabin.

Jack: You know... Lizzy... I am... captain of a ship. And being captain of a ship, I could in fact perform a... marr-i-age. Right here. Right on this deck. Right...now!

Jack: I want my jar of dirt.

Elizabeth: (About the thump-thump in the chest) It's real!
Norrington: You actually were telling the truth.
Jack: I do that quite a lot. Yet people are always surprised.

Elizabeth: This is bar-baric! This is no way for grown men to settle - ! (Seeing she is being ignored:) Oh! Fine! Let's just - pull out our swords and start banging away at each other! This will solve everything! I've had it! I've had enough of wobbly-legged, rum-soaked... PIRATES!

Pintel: (About everyone yelling and fighting each other on the beach:) How'd this go all screwy?
Ragetti: Well, each wants the chest for hisself, don't 'e? Mister Norrington, I think he's tryina regain a bit of honor. Old Jack's lookin' to trade it, save his own skin. And Turner there - I figure 'e's tryna... settle some unresolved business 'twixt him and his twice-cursed pirate father.

Quotes from stories I have written in my Notebooks:
"Alalalalahee!" -- Frodo, from Jacias' Story

"And what did we learn from the War of the Orcs?"
"Never trust someone that ugly." -- Conversation between Frodo, the teacher, and D'artagnan, the student in Aldrea's Story

"You see, Aldrea, your mother is called moose because of her stubborness and the noises she makes while sleeping."
"You are so full of it!"
"Am I going to be hurt?"
"Yes." -- Jacia and Urwyn in Aldreas' Story

Other quotes...from somewhere beyond time and memory...
"From now on, everyone must call Cameron Commander Nipples!" -- Me

"There's a nickel in there?" -- Friend Ben

"Megan, that hole should be just for you."
"Lisa, did you hear that? That hole should be just for me."
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" -- While practicing for the Powderpuff game, Zane, Lisa, and I.

"Whats the word for go?"
"Let me look it up in my book." (I open my German book) "Holy crap! It's all in German!" -- During German, Lisa and Myself

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes." -- I forgot

"Megan, I made a new story. It's called the Hunchback-- -makes the shape of a butt- --of Notre DAMN!" -- My friend Santi

"We're smarter than your average chicken, you know." -- Me during English when our teacher started reading spelling words the SUPERINTENDENT gave her. Examples: I, a, can, but, which. (I am totally serious)

Arwen: One is queen, after all. -pause- Not as big a queen as you, of course.
Aragorn: Burn. -- A fic Called "Aragorn is a Very Big Gay Homosexual" (I resent that!) at www.veryverygay.com "

Sam: This IS wrong. So very, very wrong.
Frodo: Sam. Put the meat cleaver AWAY.
Sam: -pouts- Fine. -- From "Frodo's Proposal" at veryverygay.com

"Nothing’s wrong, I just wanted to ask you something, in private."
Frodo: I do not speak with that many commas. -- Same fic

"Mormon this!" -- Cameron (Don't ask)

"My shoulder itches. I think I have herpes." -- Benji Madden at the Good Charlotte concert I went to in 2003.

"It's illegal in all 54 states!" -- My older sisters' boyfriend Alex while I was staying with them before Christmas 2003.

"The big 1-5 Nikki!" -- Me as I hold up one finger from each hand that emphasizes I am saying eleven, not fifteen.

"We're gonna be ok! We have a Summer Sausage!" -- My brother Erick when we were stuck in a four foot snowdrift on New Years' day 2004 in his car along with four other vehicles down the same stretch of road.

"Everyone hates me cuz I'm paranoid!" -- Cameron

"'I can tell by the way you draw you love to act.' What the heck, Lisa?!" -- Me, reading one of Lisa's stories.

"I'd do the whole Fellowship and then some!" -- Um, me. Yup...

"If I wasn't an actor, I'd be a secret agent." -- Elijah Wood

"OH GOD! NOT THIS BLOODY DAMN ISLAND AGAIN!" -- Jack in "Umm, run that by me again?" It's a really good Jack/You fic. Yes, I read those. GO ME!

Legolas: Your friends are with you, Aragorn.
Aragorn: You guys aren't my friends. You're just assholes I prefer to keep around.
Legolas: (Looking in Webster's Dictionary) Actually, that is the definition of a friend.
Aragorn: Oh. -- From my Fic "The Lord of the Cell Phones!"

"I want to wear the kilt!" -- Jake in German I when we were trying on clothes and learning their names.

"How do you say cross-dresser in German?" -- Ty in German I when Jake got up in front of the class that day.

"Let's tie Lisa up, put her in a sack, beat her with a stick, throw her in the river, and then send her to the Shire to be raped by Hobbits!" -- Me at lunch one day.

"Where's the cream filling?" -- Me, at lunch the same day as I ate a Jell-O Cup with good whip cream on it.

"Megan, you really don't have anything better do to with your time, do you?"
"Nope." -- Lisa and I when I was...doing something stupid...can't remember...

"The extent to which this colossal number is inflated by sites dedicated to swooning appreciations of the looks and long blond hair of Orlando Bloom cannot be precisely calculated in the average life span." -- A rough guide to LOTR.

"I feel less blond now and, er, smarter!" -- Keira Knightley

"They're a bit like chicken fillets, really, and you can hit people with them." -- Keira Knightley

"Few other griefs amid the ill chances of this world have more bitterness and shame for a man's heart than to behold the love of a lady so fair and brave that cannot be returned...but in me she loves only a shadow and a thought: a hope of glory and great deeds, and lands far from the fields of Rohan" -- Aragorn

"...Before I knew it, its 5:00 a.m., I'm drunk, and I'm back in the house." -- Billy Boyd talking about Oscars 2004 on the Late Late Show

"Photography, painting or poetry those are just extensions of me, how I perceive things, they are my way of communicating." --Viggo Mortensen!

"Oh no! One of my spikes is falling! Hair people, I need gel pronto!" -- Benji Madden!

"I don't think it was a dog at all..." -- Hal Holbrook, "Mark Twain Tonight!"

"I don't tap. The Music is within me." -- Emily while flutes were practicing for competition in 2004.

"I think that god invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey." -- Hal Holbrook, "Mark Twain Tonight!"

"The world will be ruled by roaches and spam. And styrofoam. Roaches, spam and styrofoam." -- Friend Michelle

"The Roaches will live in the styrofoam... but then later on will be killed off by eating the spam and the world will recreate itself and there will be fosilized spam where the new race of people will look and wonder, just what the heck the world was like before them." -- Michelle

"Well, Lily, you better get going before your friend finds us and removes my penis by magic. Speak of the devil!" -- A Sirius from a Yahoo! RP Chat. I'm proud to say that he was talking about me.

"...I hate you Sparrow."
"I know, love." -- Jack and Chris in my fic "The Adventures of Christiana Thomas."

"Yeah, well I'm Harry Potter's girlfriend and he taught me how to use a cell phone!" -- Lisa

Legolas: I swear, if you weren’t immortal and more powerful than me, I’d kick your ass. -- MST fic, www.veryverygay.com "

Legolas: You should really stop making fun of her, and tell her about the Elves.
Gandalf: Quite right. Well, young Melody, they’re the oldest, wisest, and fairest of all of the races of Middle-Earth, and they hate Mary Sues. In fact, they REALLY hate Mary Sues named Melody. Especially stupid ones. They have ancient magic that ensures that all stupid Mary Sues named Melody are eaten alive by rabid weasels.
Legolas: Go us! -- Same fic

Lancelot: There is a large number of lonely men out there.
Guinevere: Don't worry, I won't let them rape you. -- From King Arthur! (WAY better than Spider-man 2)

"I just schooled you on how to catch your horse!" -- Me, after Margo gave up on getting her horse to come to her, I didn't, and I "caught" her.

Wat: It's called a lance. Hello-o! -- From "A Knight's Tale."

"I'm liquid AND ice!" -- Me.

"Awww, he's making her a sandwich...HE'S GONNA KILL THE SANDWICH!...I'm just focused on the sandwich right now...She totally ruined the sandwich moment!" -- Me, watching The Prince and Me.

"You must enjoy your peepee."
"You have no idea." -- Ben and I. I enjoy my peepee.

Geoff: And you are?
William: I am Sir Ulrich von Lichtenstein, and these are my faithful squires, Delves of Dodgington, and Fowlhurst of Crew.
Geoff: (Extending his hand) I'm Richard the Lionheart, pleased to meet you. -- From "A Knight's Tale."

"Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be. " -- George Carlin

"Biggie size me!" -- Cameron

"Listen to me, little door! You are endangering my King's Wife with your stupidity. If you do not open immediately and without further discussion, I will twine myself through your lock and throw you down twisted and broken, and the goblins will put in a new door that understands its obligations." -- Charm, from The Hollow Kingdom

"Es macht mich hocht!" -- Frau Bochman, nee Andersson, when she pretended to be sniffing markers.

"You're eating...Leaves?" -- Jessica at lunch when I was eating spinach while on a diet.

"Diet. Keyword: DIE." -- Me, discussing said diet with my mother.

"...Bondage! This sounds good!...Did I just say that out loud?" -- Me, reading the description of a certain...ahem, fic.

"With all rumours, they're best enjoyed with a pinch of salt and marijuana cookies. Or maybe that's just us." -- an updated page from www.kkwavefront.org"
Home of all things Keira.

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!" -- Dunno

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." -- Thomas Alva Edison

"You're a resident. No one will care if I kill you. Now open." -- Neela from ER while examining Pratt after the river accident.

"Burnt out by drought. Washed out by flood. Ate out by jack-rabbits. Sold out by the Sheriff. Still here."-- President Gordon B. Hinckley talking about his age, and how it pertained to a sign that said this.

"My left hand sucks up all the water, and the other one is always dehydrated and pissed off at the other hand for sucking up all the water." -- Alex talking about how when he washes his hands, his left hand is dryer than the right. Always.

"...And what did the Red Scare do to Americans?"
"It pissed 'em off!" -- Mrs. Pearson and Jamie, talking about the Red Scare in American History Sophomore Year.

"Somebody cares: Nobody!" -- Alex

"Insanity: a perfect rational adjustment to an insane world." -- R.D. Lang

"...But besides that I love drawing, reading, and writing stuff, and telling people to piss off (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!)" -- Holly, from her Yahoo! profile.

"The hunger strike starts now!" -- Jorge Garcia on Leno.

"I have friends who kiss me on the mouth now...The men who kiss me aren't my friends anymore...They're my bitches." -- Jorge Garcia on Leno.

"See, I told you not all statues have wieners!" -- Someone on the bus trip to the Circus Circus Adventure Dome during Skills USA State 2005. They were commenting on statues outside a gentlman's club.

I wanted to check in before you left on your trip... remember my heart is with you and seriously...stay away from those European Men! (The rumors are true, kiddo... they're unscrupulous horn-dogs!) -- My sis Lana in an offline message before I went to Europe in the summer of 2005.

Me: -Strokes her cute addy book-
Ben : hears it purr
Me: -Suddenly it jumps and my face and starts EATING IT!-
Ben : BAD ADDYBOOK
Ben : DOWN
Me: -Addy book whimpers and jumps down. I have paper cuts all over my face. Squeezes lemon on them- OW!
Ben : o.o Why did you do that for?
Me: I needed some zest.
Ben : Zest-fully clean!
Me: And painful. -Winces- -- Me and Ben...Teehee!

Chelle: Boo!
Me: AHH! -Jumps through the roof-
Chelle: O.O -Stares through the hole. Squints and shields her eyes from the light-
Me: -Waves legs back and forth and falls back down through the hole-
Chelle: Eep! -Tries to catch you. Stumbles-
Me: -Falls to the floor- Thanks for the valiant effort
Chelle: ...Um, you're welcome... -- Michelle and I...Ahh.

"Megan, there's things Alex and I do that Jesus shouldn't see!" -- Melanie, talking to me about taking a picture of Jesus Christ off of her and Alex's bedroom wall...

"Man Gryffindor still doesn't have and Prefects."
"I know. Us rowdy bunch."
"We're all too busy being weird to make that work."
"Speaking of which, may I lick your shoe?"
"Why yes, but only after I dance about wearing only a cape."
"Oh alright, I can wait. While I wait, I think that I'll melt some chocolate and make it into a mustache." -- Antony and I discussing my deceased HP RPG.

"Have I taught you NOTHING since the moment you bowed to me?!"
"You've taught me that girls are wildly emotional." -- My friend Antony and I playing Megan and Sol out in a crazy chat concerning my deceased HP RPG.

"Maru doesn't like Dio either: She thinks he's an egomaniac. Where does she get these ideas?"
"Maybe because he was checking his reflection in his spoon!"
"Hey, he would have taken out the compact in his pocket, but Harry would've seen!"
"Oh my God, he has a compact."
"Doesn't everyone nowadays?"
"He is a competent Gilderoy isn't he?" -- Antony and I talking about an Orlando Bloom based character.

"Dio is SUCH a pimp. He's gonna be sleeping with most of your female staff, you know that right?"
"Oh God, Harry will hate the hell out of him." -- Antony and I again.

"Replied! Megan's being annoying...Ahh, so it begins."
"The friendship that makes no sense but is based around Megan being a borderline stalker, and Solaufein having funny feelings for her that he doesn't understand."
"How can it make no sense? It's a perfectly healthy relationship! At least Megan doesn't primp herself in her spoon!"
"Thank God." -- Antony and I yet again...Man, we're cracking these out by the minute!

Alex: Where'd you get that tortellini?
Melanie and I: The freezer. -- Melanie, Alex, and I when I stayed with them August 2005.

"I'm just pulling your feet." -- Alex during the said stay.

"TRUST THE TOAD!" -- Will Grimm, 'The Brother's Grimm.'

'After five years of studying while Meg was on a sugar high she had learned to ignore pretty much all noise...And Meg singing Willy Wonka at the top of her lungs.' -- Mo, who plays my chara Megan's best friend Nymph in my RPG.

"Well, let's get out of here before he wipes us down!"-- Alex, when Margo and I helped him and Melanie move in October 2005. A diesel came into the gas station we were at at breakneck speed, almost hitting the Durango, and then jumping out to grab a squeegee.

"Do you know how hard it is to watch my soaps while you're ranting and raving?" -- My mom when I was talking about random things nonstop due to the temporary insanity caused by my American Government Quarter Project.

"There's one good thing about staying up till one in the morning. It makes you feel more insane!"
"Meg, you don't need to be any more insane." -- Mo and I.

"I'm not judging you." -- Me. :D

"To love another person is to see the face of God." -- Victor Hugo

"My mom thinks I have ADD, but I don't think so. Oh look, a llama! I love pandas!" -- Stephanie

"Sometimes I think I'm a genius. Other times, I'd rather not talk to myself." -- Stephanie

"It was like all slowed down and I was like, 'Whooooah!' but I couldn't stop it." -- Stewie Griffin from Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story.

"Hello, my name is Wilford Brimley and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee and causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. Two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I find out that my wife died six years ago. Who the hell did I hit?"
"This message brought to you by the National Diabetes Association." -- From Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story.

"Arrgh me maties!"
"You want me to what you?!" -- Shawn and I on a 2005 AOT trip. We were talking about pirates, and Sean suddenly said that, and that was my immediate reaction.

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world." -- Unknown

"RPGs are role-playing games where you sorta act out things like movies and stuff online. Like in this one, it's Star Wars and I'm C-3PO."
"Ohh..."
"Anything else you wanna know about my personal life, like what color underwear I'm wearing?" -- Matt and I in Accounting one day.

"I feel like you're judging me. Are you judging me, Matt? Are you? Are you?!"
"Megan, I already told you, I've already picked out the verdict. Now you're just insane."
"You say that like it's a bad thing."
"First you were insane, now you're paranoid. It's actually kinda weird." -- Matt and I, same day, same class.

"We're both still up - our lives are pain. That is all." -- Antony, one night when we were up in the wee hours of the morning working on quarter/school projects.

"You worry me sometimes. But then I just hit my head really hard against something, and everything's right again." -- Me.

"And here comes the boss while they are still in bed together. Absolutely terrible..."
"Well, maybe Ewan shouldn't HUMP everything that MOVES." -- Steph and I. She was describing a movie called, "Young Adam" that has Ewan McGregor in it.

Antony: I am making several characters, based on people I know! Because they asked!
Me: WTF! -Two seconds later- ...can you make one of me? -- Antony and I.

"I'm in a dark place. -Tears- My heart is cold...Oh, there's a light switch. I'm better now." -- Melanie while her and I were talking on the phone. She also says lots of other funny things, but I laugh so hard that the oxygen leaves my head and I can't remember anything.

"It's like a theme park...OF DEATH!" -- Me while my dad and I were watching House of Wax.

"DEATH FROM ABOVE!" -- Chelle.

"I want to be that pole." -- Holly, after sending me a picture of this guy and his tongue getting personal with a pole.

"Sometimes it takes a crazy person to see the truth. If so, I'm a freaking lunatic." -- Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report

Ashley (Looking in her scriptures): Where's Moses?
Me: ...he's heading for the promised land! -- Ashley J. (Her and I have a UNION! -Puts three fingers together-) and I at church one day.

"Remember that rash I told you about? Well, I got the test results back today. Gonorrhea. Sounds sexy." -- Me to several people on their Myspace pages.

"The--the whojamaflibber." -- My beloved Grandma!

"Is it Heroine or Cocaine?"
"Both." -- My Grandma asking about a bag of bath salts we gave her for Mother's Day, and me answering.

Antony: You seem to be ROFLing a lot. If you keep falling off your chair onto the floor and rolling around you're going to hurt yourself.
Me: I shall LMBO then. I bruise like a peach! -Flips hand-
Antony: ...butt off?
Me: Yes.
Antony: You can't swear even with just letters?
Me: I don't like to at times. And it gives this impression that I'm innocent and all.
Antony: Which is a fallacy.
Me: -Smiley face-
Antony: FALLACY.
Me: Maybe that's what I want. Lull people into a false sense of security, and then overtake them in my not-so-innocent ways!
Antony: Won't work on me. -Glare-
Me: I know. Because you know of the fallacy.
Antony: I think everyone does. -Smiley that taps fingernails in contempt- -- Antony and I -- Need I say more?

Me: Emphasize the crazy people\
Antony: Yes'd.
Me: Haha, I did a back slash. I'm non-conformist!
Antony: ...yeah...keep telling yourself that.
Me: LMBO
Me: I build altars of bologna.
Antony: ...
Antony: yeah that's just weird. -- Antony and I again.

Me: Argh, I must sign off...
Antony: Lame.
Antony: Go away, I have no use for you now.
Me: Well the joke's on you, buddy, because I was just using you to get me to think stuff and gloat about bolgna altars to! I WIN!
Antony: Not true.
Antony: I was just using you to get annoyed enough to write decently for Red!
Antony: Ha! I called you annoying, and used you! EVIL WINS AGAIN.
Me: ...MY AVATAR IS PRETTIER THAN YOURS!
Antony: Mine kills ladies, that's what it's holding in it's left hand...a skinless lady!
Me: Mine picks flowers and looks pretty!
Antony: And then mine kills it!
Antony: And drowns the flowers in blood!
Me: ...Touche. -- Antony and I s'more!

"Frodo, what the f-- are you doing?!" -- Stephanie, speaking of Elijah Wood in Sin City.

"Eww, wiener germs." -- Me thinking to myself after a boy came back from peeing in the bushes and ate a tortilla chip out of a bag of tortilla chips I was eating.

"Don't tell me what I'm doing; I don't want to know." -- Federico Fellini

"'Ello Sue! I've got legs! (Hits them with his hands) Do you like bread? ...Well I've got a fresh loaf! (Whack!) Gotta go! (While running away, in a small voice) I love you!" -- Eddie Izzard, speaking of adolescents fancying one another, and what they actually say/do to one another about it.

"Megan, you should lie to your friends, not your brother." -- Erick, my brother! My fave one at that!

"You know what's awesome? Everytime I gag when I throw up, my stitches open up a bit. If I really wanted to, while I'm gagging, I can stick a finger in there and tickle Halczia! Ahh...mother-daughter bonding...isn't it wonderful?" -- Melanie.

"How do you know my name?"
"It's on your name tag." -- Myself while at the midnight showing at POTC 2, answering Will's question to Tia Dalma.

"...the Kraggen!"
"Kragen."
"Autoparts!" -- Person from POTC2, Steph, and then myself.

"You ran over whose dog with a cemetery?" -- Karlee on my trip to Europe in 2006.

"You did WHAT in the parking lot with WHO for HOW many jellybeans?" -- Something recited many, many times on the Europe trip in 2006.

"DIE UNGLAUBENLITSCHEN!" -- Karlee, attempting to say 'The Incredibles' in German on said trip at a French ferry (yes, Orlando Bloom) terminal.

"So, why are you a wegetarian?" -- Karlee to Markus, our Austrian Guide, who said most of his v's as w's.

"Did you enjoy your wisit to the Vatican?" -- Markus

"Markus said we needed to go to the bathroom."
"Well Markus isn't my BLADDER, is he?" -- Stephanie retorting someone's question on said trip.

"Tomorrow I am going to decide to not eat something unless it falls out of a tree." -- Herbert, my French Homestay brother, during a conversation about veganism and people's eating habits.

"You do not like McDonalds? ...Are you sure you are American?" -- Herbert. He was SO FRICKING FUNNY!

"My bladder is screaming for your mercy!" -- Melanie...I'd rather not explain this one.

"If I taste my own breast milk is that a form of cannibalism?" -- Melanie...ditto.

"You got me sick! That is the last time I ever make out with you while you're sleeping!" -- Melanie...Do I even have to write 'ditto'?

"Let's do it when she dies! I promise I won't break her or sell her on Ebay!" -- Alex speaking about stuffing Smapdi, Melanie and Alex's dog.

"...as soon as you get here I'm going to break your legs and chain you to the futon." -- Melanie

"I'm just a panda bear. Sezzy lil' panda bear and I'll dance for you if you gimme a quarter." -- Ben!

"Cucumbers. They are green. And are home on salad. Live in the moment and always carry a fork. Llama." -- Ben!

"I am NINJA! Unless there's a pineapple nearby. Then...I'm the PINEAPPLE PRINCESS! So...Yeah. Now you know." -- Ben!

"I can't stop eating all these quarters! Why did I decide to buy two ten dollar rolls today and then break them open and spread them all over my bed? ...I jingle when I walk. Owww! Those quarters didn't hurt going in, but coming out was a different story!" -- Melanie!

"DANTE AND MEGAN ARE GONNA GET IT ONE WHETHER TOM LEAVES OR NOT!!1111!!@@222@2@22!!1!" -- -Sigh- Me...

"You smell funny! Not funny ha-ha, but funny EEEWWW!" -- Me...Once more.

"If you are the Cheese Queen, then I am your Cheese King. Quick! Let us run away and elope and make cheesenips together. ...That sounded dirty." -- Chelle!

"Your mom!"
"Your dad!"
"Your face!"
"I like my face!" -- Myself, then Dain (Pronounces DAH-EEN), an exchange student from South Korea.

"Oh. I don't know if mom told you, but last week one of the lights above Halczia's changing table fell on her head and left a little bruise. She got me back today because she head butted me when we were playing." -- Melanie in an offline message to me.

"Adam, the police officer says you need to drink more." -- Jamie Hyneman, MythBusters.

"I reject your reality and substitute my own!" -- Adam Savage, MythBusters.

Jamie: So what's in these things?
Adam: Supposed to be vinegar and water. (Takes a sip of a douche and spits it out.) Yeah, tastes like vinegar and water. -- Mythbusters

Jamie: Adam doesn't know it yet but he's digging his own grave.
Adam: What's that?
Jamie: What?... Nothing! -- MythBusters

Adam: I wouldn't say Jamie's an evil genius. -- Mythbusters

Ben: You could so smuggle so much into the country in that thing.
Me: OHHHHHHHHHH!
Ben: Grandma
Me: If a dog got you, cavity searches would be alot quicker.
Ben: Her china closet.
Me: ROFL!
Ben: You get home and poop her out
Ben : How was the ride, gramma?
Me: "A bit stuffy."
Ben: Or you fall asleep, and then like fart.
Ben: OMG The guy next to me just gave birth to an old biddy and a china closet!!
Me: ROFL!!
Ben: ROFLMMFAO!!
Me: Flight Attendant: So...You want a different seat?
Ben: ROFKMMF
Ben: Wng
Ben: WG
Ben: OMMFG
Ben: ROFLMAO
Me: -Smiley emoticon rolling on floor laughing-
Ben: Omg I'm cryin ROFL my tummy ROFLMAO
Ben: Kinda beats the hell outta the in flight movie though, huh?
Ben: We'll return to Bridges of Madison County in a moment
Me: I can't breathe
Me: ROFLMAO!!
Me: gg
Ben: Until then, please enjoy the anal birth in seacon 23.
Me: OMGOSH
Me: etionh rtj
Ben: Dinner will be a choice of fish or beef,enjoy the rest of your flight.
Ben: Everyone: o.o
Me: Almost choked
Me: on my own spit
Ben: ROFKMAOO!!
Ben: /ersfgdb
Ben: i can barekly see the key
Ben Robinson: s
Me: You'd be lucky if your anus ever retracted
Me: or got back to normal size
Ben: and what happens when u get old
Me: If not you could join the circus
Ben: would it droop?
Me: or Colombian drug lords
Ben: likelips?
Me: O_O
Me: You can just fix that with a rubber band...or some of your Polident
Ben: You can pierce it
Me: ...Wow.
Ben: ROLFLAMO
Ben: duct tape
Me: It fixes everything!
Ben: "Whats that hanging out of your depends?"
Ben: "... my a--hole."
Me: ROFL!!
Ben: -hands over a roll of ductape -"Take care of that s-- man.
Me: "I'm gonna need an extra pair of hands."
Ben Robinson: ROFLMAO
Ben: Does your anus hang low, does it wobble to and fro, can you tie it in a not, can you tie it in a bow?
Me: ...I cannot top that. ROFL!
Ben : ROFL
Ben: omg my tummy
Ben: Your mom must hate me. -- Ben and I in a conversation about...stretched out anuses.

Adam: Let's PILLAGE!! (Enters the pirate obstacle course.)
Tory: (Starts the timer:) I don't think that's legal in California. -- Mythbusters, the Pirate Episode.

Adam: I think this is the strangest position I've ever been in on this show.
Kari: (Quietly:) Notice how he qualifies it with "on this show". -- Mythbusters

Me: HOLY CRAO
Me: CRAP RATHER! -- Me during a discussion between Ben, Chelle, and I including the Toxic Sandwhich. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

"LAY OFF ME, I'M STARVING!" -- Bill, one of my buddies, impersonating a person that I cannot disclose the name of.

Me: I could totally see Professor X doing drunken Karoake at the wedding reception.
Me: "I'm Shlim Shady, yesh I'm the realy Shady..."
Ben: ROFLMAO!!
Ben: ROFLMMFAO!!
Me: Prof X: Doing circles in his wheelchair
Ben: LAUGHNG SO HARDN ?
Ben: LAUGHIIIIIIIIIIIIG!!
Ben: EVEN MY TYPOS ARE FUNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Me: Prof X: "Peash out dogsh!" Falls off the stage
Ben: OMFG BRB GOTTA PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
Me: Ok!
Me: LOL!
Ben: I peed my pants!!
Ben: LOL I had to change
Me: NO WAY!
Me: WHAT?
Me: NO WAY!
Ben: omfg im still laughing
Me: YOU LIE ABOUT THE URINE!
Ben: I could barely see on my way to the bathroom my eyes were so teary
Ben: nope
Me: SERIOUSLY?
Me: OMFORKINGGOSH!
Ben: Cross my heart
Me: ROFL!
Me: Ok, Imma take Professor X.
Ben: ROFL!!
Me: Just so I can do that at Cam and Tom's wedding. -- Ben and I speaking of the wedding of two of our characters in an X-Men RPG.

Me: She's trying to be different...All "I don't like you Sparrow." Though given the chance, she'd plow that till next January
Chelle: Oh crap, I just spit on my screen laughing. -- Chelle and I speaking of a POTC RPG.

Dain: I'm going to die!
Bill: No Dain, don't go into the light! You're Buddhist! It'll burn! -- Bill and Dain whilst we were seeing a showing of POTC 3.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Dain while we were watching Will Turner make out with Elizabeth's knee.

"I like you. You're soft." -- Bill about me, while he was inebriated, the lush.

"I can't help it, I wath born that way!" -- Christina, Bill, and I whenever we feel like it.

"Great, now the carpet's gonna be drunk!" -- Christina after she accidentally spilled wine on her carpet.

"You got to give it up to God, brah!" -- Christina, impersonating Dog Chapman!

"Cracker says what?" -- Christina. :D

Christina: So how do you like Hamburger Surprise?
Bill: It's good! -Takes bite- Where's Admiral McFluffy (Christina's former dog)?
Christina: Um...Surprise! --Bill and Christina while I was away, and they were having dinner at Christina and Jeremy's.

"I like Megan for her evil laugh and her general disdain for the human race." -- Bill

"She can run pretty good...It must be the Mexican in her." -- Melanie, talking about my niece Halczia.

"I like money." Alex speaking to a Salvation Army bell-ringer during Thanksgiving 2007.

"I wear a lot of black. I'm worried I might be Emo...or Spiderman." -- Bill on his Myspace!

"Here it is New Year's Eve and I could give a rat's ass. Sure, I could go party, but I hate clubs. They're just a useless excuse for people to drink and rub up against each other because people are so repressed with their sexuality that they can't do it sober because they need something to blame their true behavior and feelings on!" -- Melanie!

"...there's really no point for me to make a "resolution". I think any resolution I have made for the past few years has been to kill people, so yeah." --Mennay!

“What ze hell is zat?” -- Harry, Chris' uncle, in The Adventures of Christiana Thomas when he first meets Pearl.

"Whoo, I'm glad he suits me. There's a lot of sad truth in his hatred for Man."
"Which is why he needs to get laaaaaaaaid..." - Chelle, then me, speaking about Nuada in an HB RPG.

"And Queen Boudicca was just a...barbarian bitch." -- Professor Albritten, History 105, Freshmore Year.

"You don't be showin' your ankles!" -- Professor Klemp, Theatre 100, Freshmore Year.

"...And now Emperor Diocletian was just a prick. Don't write that on the exam, but he was a prick." Professor Albritten again, History 105, Freshmore Year.

"Boy, I will slap the ugly off you!" -- Chelle portraying Prince Nuada in a chat-box of the Hellboy RPG

"Lol, I wanted him to say something poetic. That's what came from it." -- Chelle about above quote.

Me: The image of Nuada sipping coffee...XD
Chelle: In like a big white mug that says "I'm the Queen" with a little pink crown on it. -- Chelle and I

Nuada: I gave you a chance to live demon, it will not happen again.
Hellboy: You gave me- what? No, I let you live.
Frankie: -Sigh- This is why we can't have nice things. -- Chelle portraying Nuada, our Hellboy, and then me in the C-Box of the Hellboy RPG.

Angel of Death: -wishes she could attend (the BPRD Christmas Party) Christmas Parties are fun xD
Tabby: It'd be interesting for you to be there! We could string you with lights!
Tabby: (Omg I'm an effing crackhead)
Angel of Death: ... -- Our Angel of Death and Me portraying Tabby in the HB RPG.

Latest News --

You can find my LJ at megansleevwillo.livejournal.com

I'd just like you all to know that no matter what people say or think about my country, I am proud to be an American, and always will be.

I am living in Reno and attending university.

~Megan~