Name: Qwerty282, but you can call me Qster for short (KEU-ster).

Age: I'm not tellin'! But I am in school, and that's the only clue. (Hey, a rhyme!)

Gender: I'm MALE dammit!

Relationship: Single and not looking.

Author Friends: LiLy Mon'Roe and I are in the same school, Mizuhara Yukie and I both went to the same school. Platinum123 is my best friend and gaming/programming partner. He and I run a few wikis together, like the SFH wiki, with Marshall Chi (not joining).

Favourite Games: Halo, Bionicle, Mass Effect and Raze

Strength: Somehow exploding non-explodable things (like that ant nest...), TBS games

Weakness: Why the hell should I tell you? Oh wait... are you one of THEM?! *cocks 12-guage shotgun*

Dream Weapon: EMP-blast-capable Plasma/AP Projectile Minigun with an oversized Plasma Katana welded on the side and a custom 60mm Grenade Launcher welded on top. TOTAL CARNAGE!!! (If construction of said weapon was possible)

Dream House: A 32 klick long, 10 klick wide and 9 klick high starship with c. 5000 AD technology and weaponry with 10 m thick Forerunner Alloy battle plating.

Hits: Halo, Xbox, Mass Effect, Sci-Fi, NemesisTheory, Waterflame, Left 4 Dead, Strike Force Heroes, Raze, HTML, BIONICLE, Hero Factory, Dan Brown, Jim Butcher, Books, Marvel Comics, DC Comics, Science (Astronomy, Astrology, Xenobiology, Nanotechnology, Neurology, Chemistry, Astrophysics, Biology, Microbiology, Computer Science, Paleontology, Archaeology, Geography, Geology, Psychology, Biochemistry), Guns, Swords, Axes, Kukris, Incendiary devices, Math in general, RTS, TD, TBS, Lego, Robots, AIs, VIs, Computers, Things that go boom, Blowing up things that go boom, Swords, Making weapons and IEDs (but I'm not a terrorist!), War games, Summer break, FanFiction.Net, FictionPress.Net

Misses: Twilight, Harry Potter, Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber, Algebra, Most pop songs and artists, Girly stuff, Cameras, Heights, Dark corners, Insensitive jerkheads, Bitchy people, Bad internet, Porn addicts, School in general, n00b farmers, Cyberbullies, Flamers, Internet trolls, Homework, Public Speaking, Bullies, Racists, Terrorists, Warmongers, Thick-headed stubborn idiots, Stalkers, Fights

Links: http://ask.fm/Qwerty282, http://razetwo.wikia.com, http://strikeforceheroes.wikia.com

JOURNAL

Just because I couldn't resist. Added the links section above and a few quotes. -4/3/13

Hello again. Sorry for the lack of doing anything. First: Assessments. Second: Camp. Third: Family vacation. Fourth: Shit-ton of assessments. Last: Moving. Won't be doing much here for a long time. Wish me luck... -3/31/13

Hello. Long time no update. Happy Pi Day. P.S. Write 314 on a piece of paper and hold it to a mirror. PIE!!! Oh yeah, 9:26:53.589 on 14th of March, 2015 would really be Pi day! I gotta get a screenshot of that! *Begins 2 year wait* -3/14/13

Happy Chinese New Year! 恭喜发财! 红包拿来! 没有红包? 给你 black eye! (Little rhyme my friends and I made up last year, can't frickin get it outta my head)
P.S. Happy Tết to all my Vietnamese friends (shoutout to Blu and Yukie) -2/7/13

OK. I've been procrasninating for some time. I can up with the idea a year ago, actually considered writing it 6 months ago, posted the idea itself 4 months ago, began writing the teaser 2 weeks ago, promised myself it would be up on Monday, and now I'm still not ready to put it up. Fuck me. -2/5/13

Dammit, alright screw my promise to myself AND my New Years Resolution to Hell an' back! My brain is too clogged up. Now Publishing: The Mantle: Alpha and Omega. -1/14/13

First week of school in 2013 is over. (Unenthusiastic) Yay. -1/11/13

Happy late New Year! Was travelling, sorry. My New Years Resolution is to finish TDS and TTFE before 2014 and not start on my MEGA X-over until I'm done with the former two stories. -1/6/13

Merry Xmas! And congratulations, the world didn't end! :D -12/25/12

The date is December 22nd, and I'm still alive. Fuck yeah. -12/22/12 (duh again)

12/12/12 12:12:12.12! And I got it too! For the last goddamn time in the century as well! -12/12/12 (duh)

Y'know what, screw the Bionicle ToD. Too many goddamn spoilers for TTFE. Maybe next Xmas. I'm makin' a crossover instead. -12/10/2012

I've been working up something special for Christmas. Involves everyone's favourite game (T or D), several drunk Glatorians and Toa, and a very, VERY cracked up Guardian and Makuta. Coming soon to a PC near you! -12/06/12

Shit. Halo 4 confirmed it. JOHNXCORTANA 4EVAH! WOOT! (Yes, took me this long to finish it) -11/30/12

Decided to do something where I can update stuff going on in my life, I suppose. -11/25/12

Hi guys,

Qwerty282 here. I am a Bionicle, Raze, Mass Effect and Halo fan so expect fanfics from those 4 games only, although I may dabble in other fandoms too.

I am a bit of a geek (especially in canon of certain games) and tend to go overboard (in real ife) when someone messes up something, though I try to hold back. Also, I have sub-consciously memorised the entire history of several gaming universes (Halo, Bionicle, Mass Effect, Raze...) so I can pretty much state 80% of what happened, but no hard dates.

By the way, does anyone hear that incessant whining when you turn on one of those electronic pest reppellents that keep mosquitos away with sound? No one else in my familiy does.

My inbox is always open so if you feel the urge, you may drop a comment. Also, any curiosity regarding The Mantle should be directed to my ask.fm (look above)

Qwerty282 signing out.

/START TRANSMISSION/

FROM: ERROR-SUBJECT NOT FOUND

TO: ALL VIEWERS

CLASSIFICATION: NONE-ALL EYES

WARNING: Subject has been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Multiple Personality Disorder, Mild Attention Defecit Hyperactivity Disorder, Mild Pychopathy and Pyromania.

Extreme caution is advised. Approach at your own risk.

/END TRANSMISSION/

Present Brainwaves

Here's my-ooh...Shiny... Nope that's the foil from my chocolate from *runs foil through excessively complex and large machine* 2010! - Oh right. Here's my brainwaves and they are rather hard to find as I am distracted rather easily... Ooh-Shiny...

P.S. All ideas are mine. MINE! Anything that you can adopt are labelled as such. Otherwise, MINE!!!

STRAIGHTS

Bionicle:

The Toa From Earth: A Toa is stationed on Earth to monitor humans. When the great cataclysm occurs, he faces a new enemy... -ON HOLD and to be rewritten.

Halo:

Splintered Galaxy: What if the Hierarchs-to-be disagreed in the Grand Sanctum? Mercy founds the Human-worshipping Reclamnation, Truth and Regret found the Human-extinctionist True Covenant, and Restraint founds the atheist and mostly pacifist Federation of Intelligent Life-forms--MERGED! Now to be a mini-story in TheMantle-verse

Spartan Family: OMG! Six and Chief are SIBLINGS!!! That would explain their lack of speech and hyper-lethality though... Did I mention Six made it off Reach? -Working on it! Should be up once TM-AaO is finished...

Raze:

The Mission: Story of Sgt. Johnson before The Raze Soldier finds him. -It's up and in progress! -ON HOLD until my rewrite is complete.

CROSSOVERS

MExHalo:

(Title undecided): Very AU. Halo-ish timeline. The Citadel is made up of Covenant species and the First Contact War is dragged out. I'll have to think the Forerunner-Reaper thing through though... -CANCELLED due to multiple plot holes and near impossible universe mix-ups. If you want to adopt it, PM me and I'll see if you're up to the challenge of turning this slag heap into a masterpiece.

The Dimensional Shift: Blue Team, the IIIs and Dr. Halsey escape the shield world in a... less than orthodox escape involving an unstable slipspace jump. The Forward Unto Dawn passes through an interdimensional rift. The Covenant Corvette and half a Supercarrier tumble into a planet's atmosphere. The Spirit of Fire fails to clear the slipspace blast, but instead of being destroyed, they are teleported interdimensionally. Admiral Cole makes a jump in a gravity well, but it is affected by the detonation of the nukes in the planet's core. The only thing they had in common were never-before-used slipspace methods, yet they all landed in the same universe. The universe of the Systems Alliance and the Reapers. -It's up!!!

MExHalo:

Second Contact: The Batarians atart expanding out of Citadel Space and are illegally opening Mass Relays. This puts them into contact with the UNSC and her allies in the war-torn Epsilon Indi system... -MERGED, now part of TheMantle-verse.

HaloxBionicle:

An Unexpected Ally: In this universe Makuta are Shadow Warriors loyal to Mata Nui and the Toa and Skakdi are their commanders and troops respectively. Mata Nui intervenes in the Human Covenant War. Uh oh... Oh yeah, The Great Beings are Precursors who escaped from the Forerunners. They're cyborgs so the Halo doesn't affect them or their creations. -Experiencing temporary developmental hiccups... Will start once TTM-AaO reaches the 90% mark, or when someone decides to adopt it ...

MExRaze:

Slaver Wars: The Third Interspecies Conflict lasts decades. Sol System is retaken by Human military. A Mass Relay is found leading to Arcturus. Humans and Aliens fight over Relays and colonies until the Batarians find a relay activated by Aliens... -MERGED, now part of TheMantle-verse

MExBionicle:

Reaper's Bane: Mata Nui stumbles upon the Citadel. Chaos ensues as the Council deals with the partially organic AIs and a sentient robot starship capable of extremely fast non-Relay FTL. Also someone has dealings with someone inside Mata Nui. Hoo boy... -MERGED with TheMantle-verse

MEGA X-Over:

The Mantle - Alpha and Omega: Combining Raze, Alien vs. Predator, Star Wars, Avatar (the blue nearly-naked alien one), Halo, Transformers, Bionicle and Mass Effect together (chronologically), this fic is going to be the most important one I'll write. -ON HOLD due to various real-life circumstances.

Polls

Which ministory or fic should I work on after TM-AaO (look above)?

Please vote! (goto top)

QUIZZES

First, write down the names of 12 characters of your choice. Then read and answer the questions. You can't look at the questions until you write down the 12 characters you're going to use. Otherwise where would the fun be?

1. Master Chief

2. Noble Six

3. The Raze Soldier

4. Cortana

5. Thomas Lasky

6. Ashley Williams

7. J Rockit

8. Zoey

9. Sgt. Johnson (the Raze guy)

10. Commander Shepard

11. Ex. Treem

12. Ellis

Question #1: Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?

Ash and Treem... Well, both are soldiers to the core... DAMMIT! Why'd you go and put that in my head!!!

Question #2: Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Cort- This... This is just unfair... Completely unfair...

Question #3: What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

Ellis getting Zoey pregnant??? Man, I'm sure a whole lotta people would be happy... Myself included.

Question #4: Have you read any fics about Nine?

Johnson? If you exclude my own fic, there's no other right now.

Question #5: Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Six and Williams? Erm... I wouldn't be too sure. I mean, he barely talks.

Question #6: Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

Lasky with Sarge or Shep? Definitely Shep. Well... FemShep looks like Palmer, and we know how those two are always appearing together...

Question #7: What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve in bed together?

Johnny walks in on Six and the kid? Man, I'd pay $100 just to see the fight.

Question #8: Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.

TRS and the Commander? Err... Shepard stumbles across a green-skinned muscular human who is struggling to stay sane. As she offers her emotional support during his stay, a bond which can only be forged between those who've seen it all forms between them...

Question #9: Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

Chief and Zoey? Nah. Completely and utterly unheard of. Although...

Question #10: Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

Rockit and Ellis? Ummm... Err... Hmm... AHA! Ravaged

Question #11: What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted Four to deflower One?

Cortana deflowering John? Dude, they're already going at each other! All I gotta do is just give her a (extremely strong) body and give him a titanium-reinforced room!

Question #12: What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?

Shepard? Err... Umm... The name of whoever he/she's sleeping with?

Question #13: If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, which song would you choose?

Zoey? Errr... I got nothing. Everything I listen to is meant to be played in firefights!

Question #14: What might be a good pick up line for Two to use on Ten?

Six on Shep? Err... He'd probably keep quiet and edge up to her. No pick ups.

Question #15: What is Six's super-secret kink?

Ashley? Geez, I dunno. Bioware never released the full sex scenes!

Question #16: Would Eleven get in bed with Nine? Drunk or sober?

Johnson with Ex Treem? You'd probably have to get them both drunk to the seventh heaven, paste the photo of a hot girl on both of their faces, stick 'em it a rocket and disappear yourself from the world if you want to live.

Question #17: If Three and Seven get together, who tops?

J Rockit and Raze Soldier? Rockit, for sure. Unless TRS is in zombie mode...

Question #18: Have you ever read any Six/Eight stories? If not, are you interested in reading one?

Ash and Zoey? What the hell? Those two are HOT.

Question #19: Have any of your friends written an Eleven fanfic?

Treem? Nup.

Question #20: Does anyone on your friend list read Three fanfics?

Raze Soldier? Yes.

Question #21: Does anyone on your friend list write Two/Four/Five fanfics?

Six, Cortana and Lasky? Never heard of THAT one before.

Question #22: Two and Nine were lovers, until Nine ran away with Four. Two was depressed, and then had a one-night stand with Ten. Two later had a brief and unhappy relationship with Five. Finally, after getting some advice from Eight, Two was able to find true love with Seven. Please create a title for this story.

Okay, let's see... Six and Johnson were lovers, until he ran away with Cortana (man, I don't blame him). Six then had a one-night stand with Shep, followed by a brief and unhappy relationship with Lasky (wut...). After Zoey gave him some advice, Six was finally able to settle down with Rockit. Buh WHA?! Okay okay, deal's a deal. How's abou... Love Sux ???

Question #23: How would you feel if Seven and Eight were in a fight?

J Rockit beating up Zoey? Man, my view of him would drop sooooo damned low.

Question #24: What would you do if you found out Five is a relative of yours?

Lasky? THE Thomas Lasky? Fuck me. My potential career in the Army looks so screwed...

Question #25: Lets say Two, Eight and Eleven are stuck in a burning barn. You can only save one. Who would it be?

Six, Zoey and Treem? I'll save the second one, of course. Six's MJOLNIR and Treem's Combat Suit are fireproof, and the damn pyromaniac probably started the fire in the first place. So yeah, Zoey's the only one who needs saving.

Question #26: Who would you kill, One or Ten?

Puta Madre!!! You're trying to kill me, aren't you, chao lanjiao?! Ah well, I'll be screwed if I tried either ways. Well, my shot would somehow richochet back at me if I took on Chief (assuming I manage to get within sniping range), and Shep can be resurrected again, so I'd pick Ten AFTER I've loaded up on DEWs and written my will, and equiped myself with Cyclops armour and a FERNIS nuke if things go south.

Question #27: If you died and could choose to bring Three or Five with you to the afterlife, who would you choose?

The Raze Soldier or Lasky? Errr... Lasky, 'cos at least he talks.

Question #28: Would you ever go on a date with Twelve?

I'm. Not. Gay.

Pairings:

Following a little misunderstanding with another author (no naming), I decided to create this section on my profile.

Halo

I like: JohnxCortana, JohnxKelly, JohnxOC, FredxLinda, JaixAdriana, TomxLucy, CarterxKat, DarexBuck, FemSixxJohn, SifxMack

I can tolerate: JohnxLinda, SPARTANxOC, SPARTANxSPARTAN, FemSixxNoble 3/4/5, MirandaxJohnson, LindaxKelly, SamxKelly, SamxLinda, FredxKelly

Don't think about: JohnxJohnson, JohnxMiranda, CarterxAnyone but Kat, KatxAnyone but Carter, JohnxArbiter, CortanaxAnyone but Chief

Bionicle

I like: TahuxGali, MatoroxHahli, HahlixJaller, MatauxNokama

I can tolerate: ToaxOC, TeridaxxGali, KopakaxGali, Mata NuixKiina, AckarxKiina, TarixxKiina, TakanuvaxGali, Mata NuixOC, KrikaxGali,VakamaxNokama

Don't think about: TahuxKopaka, MatoroxJaller, TeridaxxMata Nui, Mata NuixAnyone but Kiina, TeridaxxAny Toa but Gali

Raze

I like: RockitxDani

I can tolerate: RockitxRaze Soldier, Any characterxOC

Don't think about: TreemxSage, JohnsonxRaze Soldier

Mass Effect

I like: TalixShepardM, GarrusxTali, GarrusxFemShep, ShepardMxAshley, EDIxJoker

I can tolerate: LiaraxShepard(F&M), KaidenxFemShep, Shepard(F&M)xOC, KaidenxAshley

Don't think about: FemShepxWrex, ShepardMxMiranda, ShepardMxJack

If you aren't interested you may skip the rest of my bio from here.

Quotes

ANONYMOUS

"Time and Death are both an illusion, one need not fear the slow march of one or the coming of the other" -Anonymous

"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back, and let the world wonder how you did it." -Anonymous

"Caffiene! Do stupid things faster and with more energy!" -Anonymous

Heaven won't take me and hell's afraid I'll take over. -Anonymous

"Marriages are made in heaven. But then again, so are thunder, lightning, tornadoes and hail." -Anonymous

"This is good. And crazy. I think I like it." -Anonymous

"If at first you don't succeed, redefine success." -Anonymous

"Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't." -Anonymous

"We live, we die, and the wheels of the bus go round and round." -Anonymous

"Guns don't kill people... but they sure help." -Anonymous

"It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose." -Anonymous

"Cheating: The Plan B of winners for over 2000 years." -Anonymous

"Too much of a good thing is wonderful." -Unknown

Suicide is a persons way of saying to God, "You can't fire me, I quit." —Unknown

"Grammar is important. Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse." —Unknown

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. —Unknown

"Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much." Unknown

"Yea, though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death I will fear no evil; for I am the meanest son of a bitch in the whole damn Valley!" -Unknown

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car." -Unknown

"Why is it always me?!" -Unknown

NOTABLE PEOPLE

"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred." - Woody Allen

"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident." Arthur Schopenhauer

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all of its students. —Louis Hector Berlioz

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. —Douglas Adams

The air up there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious. And why shouldn't it be? -it is the same angels breathe. — Mark Twain

"The object of war is not to die for your country, it's to make the other bastard die for his." General George S. Patton

"We are not retreating -- We are advancing in another direction." General Douglas MacArthur

"Against logic there is no armor like ignorance." Laurence J. Peter

"I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch and you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back into the womb, spend your last nine months floating... and you finish off as an orgasm." - George Carlin

"Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally." – Abraham Lincoln

"You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your tricks of war." - Napoleon Bonaparte

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning." Rick Cook

"If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle." - Sun Tzu

"Give me a lever long enough, and a fulcrum on which to place it, I can move the world." - Archimedes

AUTHOR QUOTES

"Yer forgetting Rule #1: Do I look as if I give a flying fuck?" -Qwerty282

"You only live once, so try not to fuck it up." -Qwerty282

"Every silver lining has a cloud." -Qwerty282

"I know approximately 250 ways to kill you and, let's face it, you don't live that many times." -Qwerty282

"Gimme 30 seconds and a topographical map of the area, and I could probably blow it up." -Qwerty282

"What doesn't kill you only makes my job easier." -Qwerty282

"Having multiple personalities is like having a high tech starship with a motley crew, and it's awesome!" -Qwerty282

"If slim chance and fat chance mean the same thing, then does that mean fat is the new slim?" —Spartan Ninja

"The thing you should be thinking about isn't whether or not I can actually kill you with the nail clippers, it should be the fact that whether I can or not is irrelevant. No matter if I can or not, you know full well that I'm going to try, and that more than anything else should scare the hell out of you for more than one reason and answer your question right there." -Spartan Ninja

"Oh yeah, and there's a new trailer for the Hobbit movie... pardon me a moment... ok nerdgasm over." -erttheking

"The problem with shit is that it has a tendency to happen." -Kraven Ergeist

"Dying is just natures way of giving you the middle finger." -Mazula

"You know, stupidity and bravery really aren't that different..." -Mazula

"SHE'S A FRICKIN' ASSHOLE!" -LiLy Mon'Roe (I just call her Blu, doesn't mean you can)

RvB

"I like my digital life so much better than my stupid real life." —Simmons

"Yep, hand to hand combat is the old school way to kill your enemies. Killing a man with your bare hands says 'We're all equals as men except I'm slightly more equal because I'm still alive and your dead.' Of course dropping a nuke on them from 50 thousand feet is totally acceptable. I mean let's face it, there just not enough time in this world to show everybody the courtesy of a good strangling." —Sarge

"I've got half a mind to kill you, and the other half agrees." — Church

"Shotgun to the face is a great contingency plan! Wanna see how it cures insubordination?" —Sarge

"Oh yeah! Well there's no 'you' in 'team' either! So I guess if I'm not on the team and you're not on the team, then nobody's on the goddamn team. The team sucks!"—Grif

"Yeah, I don't really understand you but I guess I don't care." —Caboose

"Yep, I don't know what that means so I'm just going to nod and say "yes"... (nods) Yes..." —Caboose

HALO

"I know what you're thinking, and it's crazy... Unfortunately for us both, I like crazy." -Cortana

"I'm ready! How 'bout you?" -Emile-A239

"Dear humanity: We regret being alien bastards. We regret coming to Earth. And we most definitely regret that the Corps just blew up our raggedy-ass fleet!" -SgtMaj. A. J. Johnson

"Men, here is where we show those split-chin squid-head sons-of-bitches that they could not have picked a worse enemy than the human race! We are going to blow the hell out of those dumb bugs, until we don't have anything left to shoot 'em with! And then we are going to strangle them with their Own. Living. Guts! Am I right, Marines?" -SgtMaj. A. J. Johnson

"Men, we led those dumb bugs out to the middle of nowhere to keep them from getting their filthy claws on Earth! But now, we've stumbled on something they're so hot for, that they're scrambling over each other to get to it! Well I don't care if it's God's own anti-son-of-a-bitch machine, or a giant hula hoop, well we're not gonna let them have it! What we will let them have, is a belly full of lead, and a pool of their own blood to drown in! Am I right, Marines?" -SgtMaj. A. J. Johnson

"Don't look like any 'uneven elephant' to me - more like two squid kissing." -SgtMaj. A. J. Johnson

"Whoa...it's like a postcard: Dear Sarge, kicking ass in outer space, wish you were here." -PFC Chips Dubbo

"Die? Didn't you know? Spartans never die." -LtCmdr. Kurt Ambrose (Kurt-051)

MASS EFFECT

"Enkindle THIS!" -Blasto

"This one has forgotten whether it's pistol is equipped with incendiary ammunition. Does the criminal scum consider itself fortunate?" -Blasto

"Badassfully: (insert sentence here)" -Bubin

MOVIES

"This is how we fix things in Russia! *hits machine with wrench*" -Lev Andropov, Armageddon

"Earth? Terrible name for a planet. Might as well call it Dirt. Planet Dirt." -Jetfire, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

QUOTES FROM STORIES

"Me? Die? I was talking about you." - Frank, The Life by casquis

"Sure, you want me to pour beer over your grave this day once a year too?" - Pavel, The Life by casquis

"THEY'RE AFTER ME LUCKY CHARMS! 8DD"- Kongu, Welcome to the Matachatroon by Mazula

"English is for losers! I speak awesome-nese! 8DD" - Lewa, Welcome to the Matachatroom by Mazula

"Quit poking logic-shaped holes in my argument." - John-117, The Parallel:Path of Demons by Kireteiru

"We already have three aliens on board the ship, why not add three illegal super soldiers too?" - Shepard, Spirit of Fire: to save humanity by Left hand turn signal

"Spartans never die, they just go to hell and regroup." - Alice-130, Spirit of Fire: to save humanity by Left hand turn signal

"Don't worry about him. We Spartans can fall from space." - John-117, HaloMass Effect: Ruptured Universe by JediSpectre177

"Hate to say it, but Johnson just flipped off God himself if he's going in there like that." - Cpt. Jacob Keyes, Freelancers vs SPARTANs by 1-1 Marines

"A company of them walk into an insurrectionists held city. Literally just walked in. Every human rebel in the city surrendered the second the Spartans were in the city square. They threw down their weapons and begged for mercy. Because they knew, they knew they could not win, they knew they would die if the fought and they knew nothing could save them from those demons." - Rtas'Vadum, Halo Mass Effect Crossover: Empires Clash by HD-spartan

"Is that what you call it (mayo)?... It looks like cum." - Roland Deschain, Other Worlds Than These by Cor Tenebrae

Copy & Pastes

95% of teens would break down if Justin Bieber was about to jump off a building to kill himself. Copy and paste if you're the 5% that would grab your camera yelling, "JUMP ALREADY!!"

92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch or Hollister said it wasn't cool to breath anymore. Repost if your one if the 8 percent who would be laughing your butt off.

93 percent of Americans would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy and paste this into your profile.

95 percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the 5 percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Mr.Alaska, Tsuyu Mikazuki, Weasel Chick, Revenant666, dragonsroar, foxdude33, FallenLex, Soelle, Akihiro Asamoto, Corvin, 9tail_Naruto, FlameKaiser, NoNameNeeded, Kyuuki-sama, Seraph of Shadows, emperor-soul heroforlife, Spartan Ninja, Uncle Joe, Ebony017, Myevltwin, AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin, The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, Kikyouhater118, Midnight-angel-of-darkness, adngo714,cyber-porygon, the aku dragon of light, PirateCaptainBo, Ski Bo, bleachrules1314, KivaEmber, SilverFlameoftheWindScar, Kireteiru, Qwerty282,

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, Chocolate Chan, Staring.out.my.flooded.window, TheDevilsAngel93, c. b. o. l., Vert9411, pinkcherryblossoms225, CherryBlossoms016, Sam-AKA-SakuxSasuLover-, crimsonchidori, Alicia Kawa Uchiha, SilentSinger948, Homicidal Whispers, naruhina-fanboy-devlin, Spartan Ninja, Qwerty282,

-I was at the checkout of a Kmart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave it back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor and gave her the money back. She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing and returned the money again. I gave her the money back again ... same senario ! I departed the store with the $46.64.
-I walked into a Mickey D's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon For a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little Chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free." "They're already buy-one- get-one-free", she said, "so I guess they're both free" She handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door.
-One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one Of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said, "Where ?"
-While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh I don't keep up with that stuff."
-I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."
-My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a Seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.
-My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
-I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went To the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags Never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a Trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?"
-While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."
Bravo to the dotty and blur people of the world, for they make life so much more funny.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile! If you have ever run into a wall, copy this on your profile! If you've ever fallen UP stairs, copy this on your profile! If you've ever forgotten to breathe...you know what to do.

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually. I mean, what are the buttons on the TV for? Aesthetics? Stickers?
3. When people say "Oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it too". DAMN RIGHT! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "It's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?!
5. When people say while watching a film, "Did ya see that?" No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the goddamn floor!
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new. Contradiction!
8. When people say "Life is short". What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do that's longer? I mean, besides being dead, of course.
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here listening to your whining???
Copy and paste this onto your profile if you agree.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

My best friend is insane. If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, copy this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique. Therefore, weird is good. If you're weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

If you read your own stories or profile just for the heck of it, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile

If you don't do drugs (They are nasty), copy/paste this into your profile.

If you like cartoons, video games, and animated movies even though people say you're too old for them and you don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you would absolutely love waking up in a different dimension full of magic, put this into your profile

If this site is an addiction and your parents don't know add this to your profile

If you threaten inanimate objects put this on your profile

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for basically no reason, add this to your profile.

If you have a wild imagination and it seems like no one appreciates it or has any imagination worth squat, add this to your profile.

If you ever threatened a computer or video game console, add this to your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you love Fanfiction.net, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy and paste into your profile

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, copy this into your profile

If you ever tripped over nothing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Siblings can be/are very irritating... If you agree, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you wish you could be a character from the Halo universe, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Chief and Cortana should be together (despite Cortana being an A.I.), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Del Rio is a complete asshole and is the real reason the Didact got to Earth, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you wish you could be a Spartan, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are insane, know, and enjoy it, copy and paste this on your profile.

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If people think you are mentally insane copy and paste this into your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people who would answer, "Where to begin?"

If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you KNOW the voices in your head are real, copy and paste this onto your profile!

CHEESE!! If you are random and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

.eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile

Even when you can’t see him GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile.

••) .•) .•.•) .•)
(.• (.•Pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.

One day, a white man walked into a cafe. There was only one black man sitting at a table in a corner. The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism and racists

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (Alot meaning all the time...) You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?') When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?') After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...' You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!) You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth. You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it. You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground. No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper. The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (Well, not really, but some of my keys are getting worn out and not working right. ) Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome. People think you have A.D.D. You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D. You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense. You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason. Your friends stopped looking at you funny when you laugh for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago. And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101. (copy and paste this into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions) I am definitely a writer!