I am 19-year old (single) girl from Finland, I am at school studying to become a chef, and that for me is the perfect business since I can move almost constantly, I am not stuck in front of a computerscreen or anything else that includes sitting for a 8 hours straight, I can write as hobby (and when I am on a roll I may be sitting for longer but then I have to go for a walk afterwards or just run around the house irritating my folks ;)), but I could never work with it, I just get too restless.

well, I am 155 centimeters long, tiny, I know. I have brown eyes (glasses) and dark hair, my real color is dark brown, but I have it black right now. I have gone thru hell and back because... I simply am myself (dull looking and a bit overweight, but that's not criteria enough to bully someone until they stand on a bridge thinking about jumping), I have been bullied, by kids AND teachers and I have been tripped on ice destroying both my knees (that was an accident, so I don't blame anyone anymore) and overall had a tough childhood, but that's all over now.

what I want to say about that it simply this; kids, don't pick on others just because they look a bit different, it's not right, I have seen people my age and a few years older picking on people who are disabled, scarred or even just... nothing special. people have been laughing at me when I am out walking with my grandma (she doesn't know the difference between the stove and a sink), anyway I don't care anymore, but there are people that do. and some take it really hard. beacuse now I know, how would those girls have felt if I actually jumped off that bridge? could they with a clear heart come forward and telling my parents that they had done nothing wrong against me? I think not.

During this time I started crawling into my own bubble, thinking about how it would be, living in another world, a world of witches, wizards, talking animals, and fancy dresses. I would read books and watch movies definitely not meant for my agegroup. and somehow, I started writing about a world consisting of these and things that just plopped into my imagination, just like that. I found the diaries last summer when I cleaned my room. I have since then rewritten and tried to make it make some sense. I cannot post it here since FF doesn't allow that, but I am really proud of what a 12 yearold could imagine.

alright, back to now. I am happy, have a good sense of humor and take one day at a time. why stress and make a halfgood job when you can take your time and make a perfect job? I guess I am bit of a perfectionist when it comes to handiwork, if it isn't perfect or just a little wrinkled, out with it (I hade to bake a whole new cake beacuse of this once... heh). I must admit that I may be difficult to be with, I have moodswings, I may scream and kick for no apparent reason, I cry for nothing (I like to blame that on my past but I just don't know), and I may babble for minutes, maybe even hours and then you hardly get a word out of me. but I am not that hard to understand, if you have done nothing to offend me then you have nothing to fear, and I don't want to lose anyone, so I try my hardest to keep everyone I love close, they know my issues and they still love me.

I love my friends, more than anything, but there are three things I can't stand; it's people who claim to love you for you and then give you a verbal beating over e-mail and then pretend as if nothing has happened. if there is a problem say it face to face. that's just weak.

second thing; I can't stand people who put on an whole another face depending on who they are with.

third thing; liars overall.

I am from a tiny town on the Finnish westcoast and I am not a citygirl, for example, I could never live in like NY or even London (not even Finnish Capital Helsinki, I just feel closed in with so many people around me). I mean, I am from a place where everyone gets their driverslicense as soon as they turn 18, and where a traficjam is four to five cars behind a tractor. and that's why I am a proud countrygirl.

"Reality depresses me, I have to find fantasy worlds and escape into them."

Things you didn’t know about me.

Full name? –
Age? - 19 years
Who do you live with? – One hairdresser student/my family
Pets? – Two cats.
Color of your house? – yellow/white

boyfriend? - nope, and happy about it.

favorite:

Film? – Titanic/ memoirs of a geisha/ Valkyria/ Advent children
Song? – dead and gone – Justin Timberlake
food? – good question, eats almost anything
drink? - white wine
City? – Jyväskylä
country? - Finland
year? - 2009

black or white? - black
dog or cat? - cat
Tv-games or computergames? - Tv-games
how many piercings? – 9, all in my ears.

[x] I am shorter than 175
[x] I easily get a tan
[x] I have more than two piercings.
[x] My parents are together.
[x] I study
(x] I work
[x] I have fallen asleep at school/work

[x] I still cry to disneymovies
[x] I have made funny pignoises when I laughed.
[x] I have cried by laughter
[x] I have laughed so hard some form of liquid has come out of my nose

[x] I have driven more than 300 km one day.

[x] I have lost myself in my hometown
[x] I have seen a shooting star
[x] I have pressed all buttons in an elevator
[x] I have acted in a play.
[x] I have seen the northern lights
[x] I have an unhealthy relationship to anime/manga
[x] I have an own TV
[x] I have an own computer

What does your dreamguy look like? young Laguna Loire xD
last book you read? FsoG

favoriteband? - Within Temptation and Sirenia

You May Be A Writer If-

1. Every time you hear a song, you think of a new story or one you've already written. (At times)
2. You have the last chapters of a story done before even thinking of the characters names. (Depends on my mood of the day)
3. You often imagine your books becoming movies. (All the time?)
4. Spell check is your best friend. (Yup)
5. You give even the smallest of characters a huge background. (Can’t say I do)
6. You hesitate before killing of one of your favorite characters. (Depends on how the story will go on, usually I don’t like it)
7. You smile really big when you’re gonna finally write a character love scene. (Like a mental)
8. Every time you read something, you make your own story of the same thing. (Not every time, maybe it inspires me to something, but if someone has written it before, it’s not of my business)
9. You'll spend an hour trying to find one word cause you won't dare use a synonym. (heh)
10. Not being able to write is like not being able to pee to you... you just can't hold it in for so long. (True story)
11. You write so fast, you leave out words in a sentence. (You have no idea)
12. You have to tell at least one person your whole story before it's even written. (Nope, I don’t like showing things I write to someone I know)
13. Things that are written bad annoy you and make you want to re-write it better. (I am not good myself, why complain on others?)
14. You laugh at jokes you wrote yourself. (At times)
15. You can spell words like 'troublesome' but can't spell 'the' half the time. (Since I am still learning English better… yes)
16. If you're note writing or typing, your fingers are moving constantly. (All the time)
17. You talk to yourself... constantly. (Call the mental house)
18. You forget what day it is when you're writing. (Maybe…)
19. When you have to write some sort of story in class, you get carried away. (and my teachers usually hates me for it -.-)
20. You would rather die than use words like 'good' or 'nice' and etc. (nah)
21. You put off the last chapter of a story simply because you don't want it to end. (What I want to write that day, I write, let it be end or beginning)
22. You start to cry when writing about a death or other depressing event you knew was coming, and you are the one writing it. (at times)
23. When on a roll, you will ignore hunger, sleepiness, or the urge to pee until you run out of ideas. (true)
24. If a story, movie, show, etc. finishes without closure, you have a powerful need to write a suitable ending. (of course)
25. You like to fidget, tap, or chew on the tip of something when you are trying to come up with a new sentence, paragraph, chapter, or story. (food works too)
26. You are in love with the Thesaurus.
27. You dream about your stories. (I wonder why I am not taken in yet…)
28. You dream of new stories. (heh)
29. You often revisit some of your old stories. (umm…)
30. Someone can call your name twenty times without you hearing if you're writing. (Only twenty?)

Borrowed from GuilelessAesthete.

I am pretty stuck on Final Fantasy right now (especially VIII), but I also write Legend of the seeker, Lord of the Rings, Fifty Shades of Grey (ironic I know), Game of Thrones and a few disney movies (not saying that all of those are coming up here but...).

Pairings I like/writing about:

FFVII - Genesis/OC(Ami), Cloud/Tifa & Zack/Aerith

FFVIII- Squall/Rinoa, Laguna/Raine, Selphie/Irvine & Quistis/Seifer

FFX & X-2 - Tidus/Yuna, Rikku/Gippal, Paine/Baralai & Lenne/Shuyin.

FFXII - Ashe/Rasler, Vaan/Penelo & Fran/Balthier.

Lotr- Legolas/OC, Eomer/OC & Galadriel/Celeborn. w00t, why is there NO Aragorn/Arwen?! I just don't write about them, I don't dislike the them, i just don't write, same thing with Eowyn/ Faramir. ;)

Stories:

the first ones I made a HUGE mistake in, I used - instead of ". I am aware of that so, please don't say anything about that. I know.

Nothing is impossible: is done, first one, rushed like heck, but turned out pretty good still.

They can't break what's inside: update when I find time, easy as that.

Regret: as I already said I hate the idea of Rasler dying, I have not changed my mind. also I wouldn't like to kill the main characters. (I got this idea when I was bored on the train, at first I thought It was an horrible idea, but it turned out pretty good) this is the first I am completely satisfied with.

Never Told You: I was bored out of my mind this morning, so I sat down and started writing, this is the result :) I KNOW about quotationsmarks, sorry if anybody felt like their life ended.

Unwounded Soldier: I know, I should work on TCBWI, but I am starting on this one because I just have to get it out of my system :)

Things I think about posting:

Darkest Night (FFVIII) AU Rinoa/Seifer and Rinoa/Squall.

They say a bird need the freedom, so did she. But where do you go when all the windows are locked and closed? You sit still and wait for your punishment.

Scared (FFVIII):AU Seifer/Quistis and Rinoa/Squall.

Everyone else saw them as beautiful, healthy women. He saw them for what they were, prisoners trapped in their own bodies.

Nothing Left (FFVII): Genesis/OC & Cloud/Tifa.

he lost his mind, that's what he did. And there is one against whom he cannot win or escape.

How You Remind Me (nearly every FF there is): Squall/Rinoa, Ashe/Rasler, Lenne/Shuyin and Tifa/Cloud.

not in a million years had Rinoa thought that her hardly-says-a-word-but-amazingly-cute boyfriend of hers would start to sing. Let alone dedicate a song to her.

Dogs Of War(FFVIII): Squall/Rinoa, Laguna/Raine.

With no-one wearing their real face, It's a whiteout of emotion. And I've only got my brittle bones to break the fall.

songfic of Poets of the falls song War, my all time favorite song :).

Love will last for a lifetime(FFX-2): Lenne/Shuyin.

In war, there are no unwounded soldiers.

Stigma(FFVII):

"but first we need a word with brother, he likes to pretend he's not part of the family. and it brakes. my heart." everybody knew Kadaj was out of his mind.

Switching from my old phone to a Nokia Lumia 820 was obviously a good one, I can update by phone. Wohoo!