Author has written 15 stories for Nadesico, Sailor Moon, Slayers, Ranma, Bubblegum Crisis, and Harry Potter. I am going to get hurt for this. I know it. I am going to endure scorn and ridicule for not dropping out and staying gone. But while there will be mocking, scorn and laughter at my expense, there is also going to be something else.
You see, it came to me, from those many trying to convince me to end my seclusion (and to many of whom I responded with scorn - my deepest apologies), that it was all my friends and those who loved me (and my works) that I was hurting. My enemies crowed in delight, because, really, they’d won.
Well, hurting all the ones who care for you and making glad all those who hate you ought to be clue enough to anyone that you’d done the wrong thing. Even so I nearly turned from a return, thinking I would instead prefer solitude and silence to a return to enduring scorn. But, there was one letter that touched me more than all the others did. I was a schmuck, I still haven’t replied to it. But I’ve read it many times.
Gosh, you know? The person on the other end of that email sounded so much like me: hurting and wounded and gentle, but pleading with soft and reasonable words that I was important to him in making his own hard life more bearable. That my works mattered, because without them he had less with which to deal with his own strength-sapping sorrows.
It felt like facing myself at the judgement seat, waiting to pass sentence on a man who had done nothing to earn the hardship I was about to inflict on him. Well, so much for that. Here’s the reprieve. It may be too soon by my earlier thinking, but I may as well make it as open and public as possible. Those who hate me seem strangely obsessive about seeking me out and would doubtless find me out to heap scorn upon me if I were to bring a webserver to life on the dark side of the moon.
If I am to endure the scathing of their bitter hatred no matter where I make my return I may as well spread the soothing balm of benefit as far as I can reach with it, that I can do the most good I can to those willing and able to receive it.
To those others: Those on forums I cannot help but think as equals to the Knights of the Terrible Fiancee, who are fully to blame for just as much hardship and loss and ill-feeling amid your unending streams of bile-broken authors you *claimed* to enjoy. There is very little point in appealing to your reason, sense of compassion, or honesty. Very few of you seem to think those virtues. But I would ask you one question, for you to answer in the silence of your own souls.
What if God is real? What if all those words about do unto others as you would have them do unto you weren’t just trite phrases? What if the Savior’s promise that inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my bretheren, ye have do it unto me, really was the case? What if all those Sunday school phrases of scripture really were what he meant when he asked us to love one another? To go and do as the good samaritan? Fools mock but they shall mourn?
What if, at the end of life, you really will be called to account for all of your doings here in this life at the foot of the throne of a God who cannot be lied to, cannot be decieved, and who knows everything you ever thought or did with a perfect clarity and loved each and every person you did them to?
What will you say when you are called to give an account of this life?
If you have done nothing wrong then surely no guilt will tear at you. But perhaps you might chance to slack a bit on your vehement urge to slash and scourge all those who commit the dubious crime of disagreeing with you.
Better safe than sorry, right?
I am not breaking into your websites to write these things. You have come to mine to read them. Therefore, if you are offended, who else do you have to blame but yourself? Someday you and I will stand before the Great Jehova, the Eternal Judge of both Quick and Dead.
Do not imagine then that he will be impressed by your childish antics or mocking laughter. Do not fool yourself into thinking that because you ran about doing harm, never thinking of the eternal consequences of your actions, that he will own you at the last day.
Nay, but ye will be forced to admit that the devil was your master, and ye are his children, before ye are dragged off to a torment that hath no end.
I call upon you, in the name of Almighty God, to repent before that day. Else your souls shall be damned and ye be dragged down to an endless torment. How terrible ye know not. How hard to bear ye know not. But which has been likened unto a lake of fire and brimstone, whose flame ascendeth up forever and ever and hath no end.
I say it, and do not lie, as ye yourselves shall be witnesses at the last day. |
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