I'ma be having some writer's block... So, don't expect updates for anything.

ABOUT ME:

I consider myself a good man. (Though that's mostly due to my narcissism.) I write shit, which seems a lot funnier in my head than it probably does to you.

Seeing as most people post some bullcrap about themselves, I'm thinking, Hey, wow. These people are a lot more interesting than I am. So, I'm going to quickly put up my life story.

I was born on a dark, cliche, stormy night. My Father had left my family the night beforehand, and so had my Mother. So, when the Stork (that's how babies are born, right? RIGHT?!) came to drop me off, he couldn't find anyone to give me to. He was promptly all like, "F@ck dat s@it." And dropped me in a forest. Yeah, the Stork is kind of a jerk.

On a dark and stormy morning, I was found by both a group of pirates and a group of ninjas. Neither of them wanted me, because I smelt like cheese. Then, a wise wolf came up to me and informed me that I was the chosen one chosen to choose the way to unite the pirates and ninjas to create one, big, happy, badass family.

I'm doing that by writing shit fan fiction. Effective, isn't it?

QUOTES FROM A PLETHORA OF MODERN GENIUSES

"Revenge is a dish best served by an asshole waiter with too much free time." -An Amazing Artist. (By of which I mean me.)

"You a stupid hoe, you a you a stupid hoe." An Even Better Artist, Nicki Minaj. (I love you Nicki, you so kawaii lolz _)

"Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday, today it is Fri-day, Friday, tomorrow is Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards." - The Producers at Pato Muzic, the People behind the immortal masterpiece known as Friday.

"And then… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time." - Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Ravenway, the totes goff main character of My Immortal.

"Wow, someone is using my words in a quote page! I DEMAND MONEY!" - Kamuss Evermean, before calling her lawyers.

LINKS AND STUFF:

Here's a link to Ian2525's official fan sequel to my work, Dear Fan Fiction: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9170358/1/Dear-Fan-Fiction

I also have a Fiction Press account. My name on there is Mr. Noklevername. Here's a link to my profile: http://www.fictionpress.com/u/851183/Mr-Noklevername

On Readwave.com, under the name 'David Noklevername'. I have quality original works over there, like The Forgettifier, Inuit Jacques, and more! Here's a link to my page: http://www.readwave.com/david.noklevername/

RECOMMENDED AUTHORS:

Readwritereview-

Summary: This girl is much younger than me, but somehow much better at writing than I am. And I hate her for it.

Fandoms: Hunger Games, Percy Jackson

Link to her Page: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/4067705/readwritereview

DMC7500

Summary: This man was previously a very popular author, though, last year, he went on a hiatus, even removing most of his stories. Now he's back, relaunching some of his old fics, and is... Still signifacently more popular than me. Maybe cause he can spell signifacently. Apparently I'm also in his top 10 favorite Authors. He may be a great writer, but apparently he has awful taste.

Fandoms: Super Smash Brothers, Wreck-It Ralph, Devil May Cry, Rise of the Guardians

Link to his page: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3708102/

RECOMMENDED STORIES:

The Game

By: charlieal12, and, later, ME!

Summary: December 21st, 2012. It's a date that would mark the end to one of the most terrifying massacres in recorded history. A terrorist group would force children to do the unthinkable, disgusting even the most loyal members of Al Qaeda. The Mayans predicted it, and then it happened...

(NOTE: I know it's kinda cheating to recommend something partially written by me, but all the good parts were written by Charlieal.)

Fandom: Hunger Games, though also influenced by Battle Royale.

A Death in the Family

By: Jabraille

Summary: In the middle of the night, Vanessa receives a phone call that changes everything...

This is one of the most touching, beautiful fics I've ever read. It also has a genius twist.

Fandom: Phineas and Ferb.

Dear Fanfiction (Not the one by me, the one I ripped off.)

By: our dancing days

Summary: ... because, for the love of Peeta, the Reaping Ball is an inanimate object, and some people just need to be told thus. / A drabble series to fanfiction.

One of the most popular Hunger Games fan fictions ever, and, by far, the most popular comedy fan fiction for that fandom, it's recommended to any fan of my Dear Fan Fiction and The Hunger Games.

Fandom: The Hunger Games.

The Hellbound Hearts

By: Da Games Elite

Summary: Jafar rises from the grave as he's summoned by Ursula to a meeting of the fallen villains. Can these villains be united under one leader, or will their selfish goals, differing philosophies, and all around hatred for one another ruin them all?

An epic story starring some of my favorite villains: the Disney villains. A well written epic, I recommend it to all fans of Disney and Kingdom Hearts.

Fandom: Disney Villains.

Edge of Forever

By: BBBKA

Summary: The Duncan family's lives are changed forever in split second. COMPLETE

I'm not going to lie, this fic made me cry. (Something the intro to Up didn't even do.) It also made me love the characters I normally hate: the main cast of Good Luck Charlie.

Fandom: Good Luck Charlie

NEWS:

5/12/2013: WRITER'S BLOCK doo doo doo doo. Trying to get some one-shots up.

5/6/2013: I'm working on a new horror fic, called Ain't It Hilarious?. It's a Batman fic, involving the Joker and an OC named Gretchen Mcdonald. LOOKING FORWARD TO IT? Probably not.

5/2/2013: The new, final chapter, (hopefully for real this time.) of Dear Fan Fiction has been posted!

5/1/2013: I'm starting to write a Milkweed epilogue for a school project. And it's real fiction, too! Not just parody! (Don't worry, for those who haven't read this incredibly obscure book: I'll include a reader's guide.) Also, I've recovered my first fan fiction ever, Kingdom Hearts: Forgotten. It's bullshit. Like, even worse than the stuff published here. Yes, that's possible.

4/27/2013: I redesigned my profile. IS IT FUNNY YET, DAMMIT?!

TRIVIA:

Dear Fan Fiction was deleted twice. Once for swearing, and once for author inserts. (I barely ever used Author's Notes back then, so I used a whole chapter for announcements.)

OTHER THINGIE MEBOBBERS:

No copyright infringement intended in my stories. All characters I haven't made are owned by their respective owners. (Duh.) I'm including this here, because I'm not going to include it in every damn thing I write. (It's a formality, really. Nobody honestly HAS to put this up, but I did, gosh darn it.)

Seeing as I love a good crossover, I'd appreciate if anyone wants to use a character created by me in one of their fics, or even reference one of mine. PM me if you want to include a character of mine in a work of yours. Damn, I love crossover-whoring my characters...

If you're sick of all those profiles with a million 'copy and paste' things that nobody really cares about, copy this onto your profile!

STATS:

You are on the favorites list of 20 members.

You are on the author alert list of 18 members.

You have submitted a total of 290 signed reviews.

Total words archived: 65,644 words.

Average numbers of words per story: 3,455

Total views to profile page: 1,492

That's pretty much all I have to say. I'm not a very interesting person. Please, read, review, and... I'd say enjoy, but I know you won't
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