Hey guys. JotN here. Now, because I'm a semi-new writer here, I want you to cut me some slack if my stories are less than stellar at first. Speaking of, there are some important things that I want you to know about my stories. I will try to update each story I write at least once a month, but I will make NO PROMISES. You never know what might come up, but if something does, I will be sure to let you know, and when to expect the next chapter. The second thing is that any challenges I come up with will be posted in my stories, and that when I make OCs, their bios will also be included in my list of stories under the title of "Character Bio's," and will be put up when the story is complete. As well, I think that I will only be working with ONE STORY AT A TIME. Not to say that I won't try to update other stories as well, but the way things will work is that I will finish one story before starting work on the next. This is non-negotiable, please don't PM me about it. In the meantime, entertain yourself with the information I shall post below. JotN out!

Age: NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINE- er - Jarl of the North does not give away such information so freely. (mutters something about Thanes and something else about "useless conduct")

Sex: Male

Nicknames: none, so I'll make some up for you to use; Ulfric, Stormcloak, JotN, Jarl, North, Shadow, War Wolf, Gale (no, not like the Hunger Games, idiot! I like the character, but I'm nothing like - shut up! I don't want to hear about your useless conduct right now, Kain! So shut up before I throw you out of Solitude!). Open to suggestions, please nothing stupid.

Real name: NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINE- oh fine - as I stated earlier, Jarl of the North does not give away such information so freely. (Last warning, Kain!)

FAQ:

Q: Are you Dovahkiin? Dragonborn?

A: I was... but then, I became more, so much more...

Q: How many universes have you traveled to?

A: Can't remember. Too many to count.

Q: How do you travel between universes? How did you get your method?

A: Why the f*ck would I tell you that? Besides, even if I did want to tell you, I wouldn't be allowed. God and the Charred Council have strictly forbidden it, and I really don't want to cause an early apocalypse right now so, you won't ever find out. (Kain... get out. I mean it. Get out of Solitude right now. And don't even think about going to Riften because I will hunt you down and kick your skinny little ass if you do.)

Q: Does it have anything to do with how you gained the ability to show your so-called "true form?" By the way, you still haven't told us what that is yet. Would you care to tell us?

A: ... (draws sword) I'm sorry, but those are things I have to keep a secret. (kills interviewer)

Area of residence: Solitude's Blue Palace, or Windhelm's Palace of Kings. Either that, or traveling abroad throughout Tamriel. Or the other universes, but that's beside the point! I live in Skyrim, damn it! What else do you want?! My mahogany desk that I got as a gift from King Yenma?! Or the plaque on the wall for when I finally get Kami to agree to give me Mr. Popo's head on a pike?! (Shut up, Raditz! I'll get that little moron's head someday, so shut up before I tell Yenma that you're hiding here! Then you'll be sorry!)

Likes: Writing (why else would I make an account to begin with?), video games, anime, movies, TV shows, reading, hanging out with my friends... all that stuff. The usual when it comes to writers.

Dislikes: Jerks, bad stories and movies such as Twilight (don't even think about getting me started. While it will be funny for the time that I rant, you won't think it's so funny when I get Integra to sic Alucard on you afterwards), trolls (trolls will be immediately banned from my site: you have been given fair warning), idiots that don't shut up, yaoi/yuri (don't get me wrong; I don't hate gays, and have absolutely nothing against homosexuality. I just find the idea of even reading, let alone writing stories about gay sex... disturbing to say the least. That, plus I despise it when people make gay couples out of people who are clearly not in any way gay. SasuNaru? Give me a f*cking break, people!), pointless comebacks such as "your mom" or "that's what she said" (I. Hate. These. Do. Not. Use. These. In. Your. Reviews. If you do, I will give you a warning in the form of a review. The second time, a second warning with much harsher words. The third time, you're blocked from my account. You've been given fair warning), not being allowed to write, not being able to write (especially when it's due to writer's block), and pressure (so please don't pressure me for stories before they're ready. That, if anything, will only slow me down, so please, no pressure).

Favorite anime: Naruto, Bleach, Birdy the Mighty (shut up, and stop giving me that look. It's a good anime, and a good story. So shut up, or I will call Birdy and tell her you've been spying on her in the bath!), Hellsing Ultimate (basically a better version of the original anime), Inuyasha, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, Fairy Tail (do you really need to ask why?), Soul Eater (Ex-ca-li-buuur... Ex-ca-li-buuur... From the United Kingdom, I'm looking for Heaven, I'm going to Californiaaa...), Dragon Ball Z (both normal and Abridged by Team Four Star), D-Gray Man (read the manga, need to see anime), Death Note, Martin Mystery (frickin' awesome), Cage of Eden (manga only, though an anime would be entertaining to watch), Fate/Zero (F*CK YEAH!!!!) will add more if I find more. There is one manga that an author known as BlindFury the Ultimate told me about, I can't remember the name though. I do remember one of the characters however. I think her name is spelled Chiffon. If someone would be willing to tell me what the name of this is so I can look it up, that would be much appreciated.

Favorite books: Harry potter, the Silverwing series, the Gone trilogy, the Hunger Games trilogy, Rise of the Wolf (need to read the second book, Rage of the Lion), Animorphs, Eragon (good story, need to reread the first), the Lord of the Rings trilogy (yes. I like these books. Do not challenge me, or I shall bring the wrath of Gondor and Rohan down upon your heads!), Maximum Ride, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, the Kane Chronicles, the Dungeons and Dragons guidebooks (I am not a nerd. Call me that again, and I will drag you to the summit of High Hrothgar, and shout you off the mountain), the Dragonlance series, the Discworld Graphic Novel (the one following the story of Rincewind the Wizard... of sorts), Fablehaven, and the Elder Scroll that I stole from Winterhold. I'd add more, but I love reading so much that I'm afraid that I'll run out of space for my profile if I were to include all my favorites (which is made up of pretty much every book I've read besides Twilight. I got about halfway through that before asking myself "why am I forcing myself to read this garbage?").

Favorite games: Skyrim, Ratchet and Clank: Going Commando (my personal favorite of the series), Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves (can't wait for the 4th game this year!), the Jak series (never played Combat Racing or Final Frontier), the DBZ fighting games from Spike such as Raging Blast (I prefer 3D combat arenas to the normal 2D style), Soulcalibur II and III, Naruto: Ultimate Ninja Storm, Okami, Final Fantasy XIII, Disgaea 4: A Promise Unforgotten (Alucard vs. Tyrant Valvatorez - how's that idea for a vamp fight?), Darksiders (both one and II), will add more as list grows.

Favorite TV shows/movies: Avatar (James Cameron), Godzilla (both the Japanese version and the United Statian version {you guys in the United States aren't the only people on the Americas, you know! Stop being so damn egotistic!}), Avatar: The Last Airbender, Merlin, Buffy the Vampire slayer, the Chronicles of Narnia, the Alien series (hoping to see Prometheus soon), the Predator movies (I want to see the most recent one), AVP: Aliens versus Predator (original only; Requiem sucked so badly that I am disgusted that it's even related to the series. It sucks on a level that makes Twilight look good), the X-Files, Mortal Kombat, Shrek, Ice Age, the Sorcerer's Apprentice, How to Train Your Dragon (yeah. So?), Monty Python's The Holy Grail, the Road to Eldorado, the Emporer's New Groove, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, Dan Vs., may add more later if something perks my interest.

Favorite Bands: Dragonforce, Skillet, Rise Against, Three Days Grace, Nickleback, Great Big Sea, Arrogant Worms, Weird Al Yankovic (an odd combination of bands, I know. But I'm weird, not to mention insane. Deal with it)

Games I want to play: Final Fantasy VII and X, Prototype, something from the Monster Hunter series, Valkyria Chronicles. Still open to suggestions, so if you have any, they would be much appreciated.

Things I want to see: A Final Fantasy VII remake (GOD DAMN YOU SQUARE ENIX!!!), Japan (all over Japan), Australia, the Pyramids of Egypt, a Monster Hunter game including every single monster from every single game including the underwater monsters, the United States join the Kyoto Protocol (along with Canada, seeing as we jumped off the bandwagon. YOU IDIOTS OF PARLIAMENT!!! HOW COULD YOU!?!), a "Cage of Eden" anime, the Maximum Ride movie actually come out, may add more later.

I only joined this for kicks, mainly out of hilarity. Expect an update for my Naruto fanfiction soon.

Member of The Book of Log.

If you worship the holiness that is the log, copy and paste this section onto your profile... although you may want to change the comments

Position: Log Worshiper

Possible Book of Log Positions:

Log Worshiper: Beginning position. No requirements

Log Priest: You have created at least 1 Naruto related fanfic that frequently (every 2-4 chapters) praises the almighty log and actually fits into the story

Log Pope (there can be more than 1 pope... its safer that way): you have created 3 naruto related fanfics that frequently praise the almighty log

OR the Fanfic that already occasionally praises the log has at least 400 reviews

OR you create a (decently made) Naruto fanfic focused on praising the log... log forbid.

The religion worshiping the log was created by the author Third Fang. Check out his story and author page.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what,
and if you stand up 4 him he will stand up for you

Guess this means I'm not one of the 93 people.

Banging your head against the wall uses up 150 calories per hour. If you have smacked your head when you feel stupid, but never knew this fact before, copy and paste this to your profile.

98 of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you are the 2 that haven't, copy and paste this on your profile

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, kailover 2006, Iluvbeyblade, Lamanth, AnimeGirl329, Kathleen-chan, Life is a Highway66, moviemanic122893, Ham-Kelly- now Chibi Corn Chip, DolphinInsomniac 15, Cosplay Chan, WolfofDoom, guard of the twilight, xKronikPrimexDragonx, Jarl of the North

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. By order of Flame User Laurena

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer!

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, GoodyGoody23, -xIxHEARTxEDWARDx-, sakurabloom1124, AzarathianWarrior, Wolfofdoom, guard of the twilight, Jarl of the North

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current situation, copy and paste this into your profile

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile

Even when you can't see him GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what your like in another dimension, copy and paste this into your profile

I like cheese (uh, no I don't). I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCaffe, (actually I have) Hyperactiveley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki (I do all the time!), WeaselChick, Celyna (I fall up the steps to school every time I go up them... sadly...), SSAHC, Sanoon, Phantom-Flames, Leopardheart (just once, but still...), Littlewhisker (I do it all the time so get over it!) Flamestar211, Firestar's Gal, Amberstar-leader of SkyClan (sadly, I just entered middle school and I have a two-story house and so I am falling up the stairs all the time!!),the freak locked in ur closet, Guard of the twilight, xKronikPrimexDragonx, Jarl of the North

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in the tiune God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

then copy and paste this in your profile

If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...

"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."

If you believe in God and Jesus Christ His son... Then copy and past this on your profile.

Copy and paste if...

You're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews
You have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, hard, across the face
You've ever talked to yourself
You have ever watched TV, got to a commercial then completely forgot what you were watching
If Fanfiction to you is what Facebook is to other people
If you sometimes absolutely have to write something.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb or rude

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. (or uses an MP3 player and dances to their OWN music(Because Nothing on the school's playlist is even anything you are familiar with, seriously what the heck is a dougie anyway?))
I am the girl that people look through when I say something. (Or stare at you because what you said no sane person would know.)
I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. (Or has never even considered the possibility of being normal as anything more than a nightmare.)
I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face.I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone.(Or uses Facebook for games and sharing the weird junk I find by accident on the internet.)
I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year.
I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. (and knows the name and healing uses of the flower, and hopes to fall through the puddle into another world.)

BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with something knew every month, who can express herself better with words and actions than anyone else, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13., Slytherin Queen 1.30, Paramore Fanatic 13, Alienatia, Ptroxsora, Jarl of the North (I'm a guy, though)

Perfection is a waste of time.

If you can Raed this, you have a sgtrane mnid too. Can you raed this? Olny aoubt 75 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the only iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this forwrad it.
COPY AND PASTE ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT

10 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity. (I LOVE THIS :D)
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
3. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
4. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"
5. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
6. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
7. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
8. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
9. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
10. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!!!

If you know a video game/book/movie character that needs to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.

BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "Man we're screwed up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won’t tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you’re not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Have you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Lose your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the ass of everyone in the crowd that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are temporary
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him saying "seven days"

FRIENDS: Hide you from the cops.
BEST FRIENDS: Are probably the reason they're after you in the first place...

FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with you.
BEST FRIEND: will help you kidnap the band.

FRIENDS: Will help you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Will trip you again and/or sit on your back to keep you down.

FRIENDS: Will ask whats wrong
BEST FRIENDS: Will go to the person who made you sad with a shovel

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this!

If every time you hear the word rum, you automatically think of Captain Jack Sparrow, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

1. Look at your zipper. See the initials YKK? It stands for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushibibaisha, the world's largest zipper manufacturer.

2. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals. (Okay)

3. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled. (Thats just sad...)

4. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily. (Wow, talk about human error)

5. Chocolate kills dogs! True, chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system. A few ounces is enough to kill a small sized dog. (Awww, sad doggie)

6. Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as a medicine. (How dumb can people get)

7. Leonardo daVinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time. (YAY!)

8. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood. (Haha!)

9. There are no clocks in Las Vegas casinos. (Shame...shame...)

10. Leonardo daVinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips. (Talk about perfection)

11. Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to slow a film down so you could see his moves. That's the opposite of the norm. (Oh yeah :) )

12. The original name for the butterfly was flutterby.

13. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand. (Good to know)

14. Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there. (Invisibility cloak!)

15. Dentists recommend that a toothbrush be kept at least six feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. (I'm keeping mine in the car, EWWW!)

16. The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

17. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

18. Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.

19. Adolf Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor. (All I'm gonna say is...shmushmortion clinic.)

20. The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

21. To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, prick your fingers into its eyeballs. It will let you go instantly.

22. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

23. The "pound" (#) key on your keyboard is called an octothorp.

24. The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat.

25. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

26. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

27. "Dreamt" is the only word in the English language that ends in "mt".

28. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

29. In Chinese, the KFC slogan "finger lickin' good" comes out as "eat your fingers off".

30. A cockroach can live for 10 days without a head.

31. We shed 40 pounds of skin a lifetime.

32. Yo-Yos were once used as weapons in the Philippines.

33. Mexico City sinks about 10 inches a year.

34. Brains are more active sleeping than watching TV.

35. Blue is the favorite color of 80% of Americans.

36. When a person shakes their head from side to side, he is saying "yes" in Sri Lanka.

37. There are more chickens than people in the world.

38. The thumbnail grows the slowest, and the middle nail grows the fastest.

39. There are more telephones than people in Washington, D.C.

40. The average four year-old child asks over four hundred questions a day.

41. The average person presses the snooze button on their alarm clock three times each morning.

42. The three wealthiest families in the world have more assets than the combined wealth of the forty-eight poorest nations.

43. The first owner of the Marlboro Cigarette Company died of lung cancer.

44. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

45. The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

46. Our eyes remain the same size from birth onward, but our noses and ears never stop growing.

47. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV.

48. A person will die from total lack of sleep sooner than from starvation. Death will occur about 10 days without sleep, while starvation takes a few weeks.

49. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

50. The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows.

51. When the moon is directly overhead, you weigh slightly less.

52. Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, never telephoned his wife or mother because they were both deaf.

53. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an axe, leaving her mentally retarded

54. "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language

55. Colgate faced a big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries because Colgate translates into the command, "go hang yourself."

56. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.

57. "Bookkeeper" is the only word in English language with three consecutive double letters.

58. Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people.

59. The sentence "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog", uses every letter in the English language.

60. If the population of China walked past you in single line, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction

61. China has more English speakers than the United States.

62. Every human spent about half an hour as a single cell.

63. Each square inch of human skin consists of twenty feet of blood vessels.

64. An average person uses the bathroom 6 times per day.

65. Babies are born with 300 bones, but by adulthood we have only 206 in our bodies.

66. Beards are the fastest growing hairs on the human body. If the average man never trimmed his beard, it would grow to nearly 30 feet long in his lifetime.

67. According to Genesis 1:20-22, the chicken came before the egg.

68. The longest place name still in use is: Taumatawhakatangihangaoauauotameteaturi-Pukakpikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuaki tanatahu - a New Zealand hill.

69. If you leave Tokyo by plane at 7:00am, you will arrive in Honolulu at approximately 4:30pm the previous day.

70. Scientists in Australia's Parkes Observatory thought they had positive proof of alien life, when they began picking up radio-waves from space. However, after investigation, the radio emissions were traced to a microwave in the building.

71. Wearing headphones for an hour increases the bacteria in your ear 700 times.

72. More than 40,000 parasites and 250 types of bacteria are exchanged during a French kiss.

73. Men can read smaller print than women, but women can hear better.

74. Coca-Cola was originally green.

75. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

76. The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.

77. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

78. "Typewriter" is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

79. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

80. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

81. It is impossible to lick your elbow.

82. People say, "Bless you", when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

83. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

84. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

85. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

86. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history. Spades - King David, Clubs - Alexander the Great, Hearts - Charlemagne, Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

87. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

88. If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.

89. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.

90. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

91. Honey is the only food that doesn't spoil.

92. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

93. A snail can sleep for three years.

94. All polar bears are left handed.

95. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.

96. Butterflies taste with their feet.

97. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

98. In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

99. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

100. Shakespeare invented the words 'assassination' and 'bump'.

101. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

102. An ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

103. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

104. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

105. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.

106. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

107. Most lipstick contains fish scales.

108. And finally, 99% of the people who read this will try to lick their elbow (haha! I did this!)

LOL! Post this on your Profile if you want to share random facts!

I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me. "

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you".

POST THIS IF YOU LOVE YOUR MOM!!!

Normal people: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast

PJO FANS: will tell Zeus to make it rain.

Normal people: say OMG!

PJO FANS: say OH MY GODS!

Normal people: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings.

PJO FANS: won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers.

Normal people: say shut up or I'll tell on you!

PJO FANS: say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you!

Normal people: think that PJO fans are stupid.

PJO FANS: know that normal people are stupid

Normal people: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!

PJO FANS: when being chased use their awesome demigod powers.

Normal people: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms

PJO FANS: tell Zeus to calm down

Normal people: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation

PJO FANS: would try and find Camp Half Blood

Normal people: don't have this on their profile

PJO FANS: MUST have this on their profile

THE NARUTARD SURVEY! NARUTARDS UNITE!

1. Who is your favorite Naruto character(s)? ... Do I have to pick?... Fine. Naruto, Hinata, Kimimaro, the Hokages, and Madara Uchiha (badassery for the win, even if he is a jerk).
2. What is your favorite pairing(s)? NaruHina, NaruFem!Kyuu
3. Are you a Naruto yaoi or hentai fan? Neither. I'm not gay, and I'm not one for nudity. Sorry.

4. Ever cosplayed Naruto characters? If so, who, where and how many times? No.

5. List your collection of Naruto junk and merchandise, if any: Just a couple of games and books.

6. Have you ever felt that you were destined to be with a Naruto character? If so, who? Um... not really... Um... Ah, what the hell. Hinata.
7. NaruHina or KibaHina? NaruHina. I just don't see Kiba getting with Hinata. Or anyone, for that matter.
8. SasuSaku or SasuNaru? SasuSaku. Mainly because I don't support yaoi pairings. I'm not against them or people who do support them, but it's not really my thing, and there are some pairings of all categories that just shouldn't exist. SasuNaru is one of them.

9. Which team is your favorite? Team 7.

10. Do you support the Obito theory? (Tobi=Obito) No. It's true. But my theory was that Izuna Uchiha was Tobi (Madara's younger brother).

11. Do you support the 'Yondaime is Naruto's father' theory? No, it's true.

12. Your favorite Akatsuki member? Itachi Uchiha

13. Are you Pro-Sasuke or Anti-Sasuke? Pro with anti leanings. I don't agree with what he's done at all, but I guess you could say I'm overly optimistic; I see good in nearly all characters I come across. There are very few exceptions to this rule.

14. Have you seen all Naruto episodes so far (including Shippuden and fillers)? Some. Haven't been able to read the manga or watch the anime lately. Can't find anything.

15. Have you read all the chapters so far? No, but I have the basic idea.

16. Do you believe Naruto has ADD? Without a doubt. Add ADHD and a sugar addiction and you have him.

17. Sub or dub? Both. I honestly don't see what everyone's issue is with the dub. I think they have everyone's voices down pat.

18. Pro-Sakura or Anti-Sakura? Neutral with leanings to both sides.

19. Tobi = Annoying or funny? Both.

20. Do you even know who Tobi is? Who? Nyah, I'm kidding. I do.

21. Gai = Sexy beast or Ugly nerd? No comment.

22. Which character would be the best crossdresser? ... Who came up with this survey again...?

23. Rock Lee = Weird or Awesome? Awesome, weird, they're the same thing.

24. Which character would be best OOC? Who and how? Naruto.

25. Do you like Naruto fanfics? Yes.

26. Do you write Naruto fanfics? Not often.

27. Do you like lemons? No comment.

28. Do your parents know about the Naruto characters? No.

29. Have you watched the Naruto Abridged Series? No.

30. Have you seen The Naruto Ultimate Fanflashes? No.

31. Have you ever gotten someone else hooked on Naruto? I wish.

32. Have you ever been drawing Naruto in school and has someone recognized it? No.

33. Have you ever been in class drawing Naruto and the teacher came up to you and said 'WTF is this?' No.

34. Has Naruto affected your school life and grades? No. Dear god, that would be a nightmare...

35. Are you broke thanks to Naruto? An even worse nightmare...

36. Do you want to read Icha Icha Paradise? ... No comment.

37. Do you support the 'Yondaime is the Akatsuki Leader' theory? No. It's false.

38. Do you draw Naruto fanart? If so, count how many there are in your gallery. No, I don't.

39. Is Sasuke still sexy in his second stage of the cursed seal? No. He's certainly badass, but sexy? Absolutely not.

40. Do you have a Naruto OC? Multiple.

41. Looking back at some of your answers, do you think Naruto has taken over your life? Not at all.

Characters

Favorite: Naruto, Hinata, Kimimaro, the Hokages, and Madara Uchiha
Least favorite: The daimyos of the Elemental Nations. God, those guys are f*cking STUPID.
Crush: Hinata, Samui, 5th Mizukage (DON'T JUDGE ME!!!).
Favorite girl: Hinata
Favorite boy: Naruto
Favorite Kage: I REFUSE TO PICK!!!
Favorite villian: Madara Uchiha
Least Favorite Villian: None
Person most like you: I don't know. Don't ask again.
What you think of Choji: The word fat, from now untill the end of time, is now taboo.
What do you think of Ino: Don't really care.
What do you think of Sasuke: SO happy he decided to come around to see through Itachi's eyes. Both literally and figuratively. Juubi, prepare to have Susanoo arrows shoved up your ass!
What do you think of Lee: Funny and strong as hell.
What do you think of Neji: Much better after Naruto beat the shit out of him. Currently mourning his heroic end.
What do you think of Naruto: Overpowered as hell, but lacks originality when coming up with techniques. However, I believe the title of Rokudaime Hokage goes to him.
What do you think of Orochimaru: Creepy as hell, incredibly powerful, and very dangerous. Generally misjudged in many ways, but still needs a swift kick in the ass.
What do you think of Sakura: She's okay. Certainly better than she was.
What do you think of Hinata: Cute, but needs to stand up for herself more.
Ino or Sakura: Neither one.
Kiba or Shikamaru: Shikamaru. Kiba's okay, but can be annoying and doesn't think things out too much.
Neji or Lee: Neji. Calm, cool, collected, and overall more bearable than the Green Beast Version 2.0. Lee's nice and all, but I don't think I could last long before the Flames of Youth drove me nuts.
Tenten or Temari: Temari
Naruto or Sasuke: Naruto for now.
Gai or Kakashi: Kakashi
Hinata or Hanabi: Hinato
Sasuke or Itachi: Itachi
Sharingan or Byakugan: Sharingan. You can use it to get Rinnegan!
Mind or shadow control: Shadow
Fire or Water: Fire
Air or Earth: Air
Favorite Element: Varies according to my mood, but it's usually lightning or fire. Occasionally air and water, but never earth.
Summon toad, snake, or snail: Monkey. *a few seconds of silence* Oh, fine... Snake. I'm sorry, but toads don't appeal to me, and slugs don't do much... can I get the monkey summon? Please?
Genjutsu, Ninjutsu, or Taijutsu: Ninjutsu and taijutsu.
Weapon: Depends on current taste, but usually a sword of some kind.
Chidori or Rasengan: ... *holds up rotating lightning sphere* Rasendori. Enough said.
Shadow clone or Transformation: Kage Bunshin.
Who should Naruto be with: Hinata
Sakura: Sasuke or Lee.
Sasuke: Don't know.
Ino: No idea.
Choji: Ino
Shikamaru: Temari
Kiba: No one, maybe an OC. No other pairings fit, really.
Hinata: Naruto
Shino: I don't know.
Neji: ... *slams keyboard* DAMMIT KISHIMOTO, YOU SONUVABITCH!!! *a few seconds of silence* ... Tenten.
Lee: Sakura or Tenten, maybe
Tenten: Lee, possibly. Neji works too.
Are Ino and Sakura too obsessed with Sasuke? At first, yes. Now? No.
Best Sensei: Minato
Should Sasuke die: No.
Which girl looks better post-timeskip: None
What guy looks best post-timeskip: Sasuke (a few of his outfits).
Which guy looks worst post-timeskip: Neji.
What's the best episode: Don't know.
What's the worst: Don't know.
Funniest: Trying to find what's under Kakashi's mask. Hilarity at its finest.
Wierdest: GODZILLA!!!
Do Fillers suck: Some of them. Only ones that aren't that well thought out or drag on for too long.
Dubs or original: Either.
Anime or Manga: Either.
Favorite manga chapter: Don't know.
Least: I SAID I DON'T KNOW!!!
Have you seen the movies: Nope.
Are you a Narutard: I suppose.
Have you cosplay-ed, if so, as who: No
If not, do you want to, and as who: Maybe... Probably Naruto or the Fourth Hokage.
Do you own any Naruto items: Some books.
Have you read every manga: Nope
Have you watched every anime: Nope
Was this quiz troublesome: What a drag.
Did you understand that "joke": What joke? *audience laughs* No, seriously, what joke!? I don't get it! WHAT JOKE!?

No matter how strong you are or how much power you have there is always some one greater and greater than before, it's an endless cycle.

If you desire power have a reason for it, wanting just because so you can be strong or great isn't a reason to me.

People get stronger when they have something to protect.

When you meet power with more power only destruction and pain are left.

Life goes on no matter what.

Change is a part of life, everything changes so it's pointless to get angry or stop it, just adapt and move on.

Live and Learn, you're going to make mistakes in life because that's part of being human.

It's no fun living life all alone, make friends, cherish them, that's one of the key secrets to life.

Love can change the world and people only have faith in it.

Don't let anyone control you or shape your beliefs, you are your own person.

The world is full of endless possibilities.

Always try to find the good in the bad, even when others call you out on it.

Every beginning is an end and every end is just a new beginning.

Judge a person based on their heart not by blood, race, appearance, or anything else.

If you're curious about something, explore it always be open to new possibilities.

Love and woman are probably things you can spend a three whole lifetimes researching and still be completely dumbfounded by both.

The world is a part of you and and you are a part of the world.

Life is hard and cruel yet at the same time it's so amazing and beautiful so don't ever give u on living.

Taking the easy way out gets you nothing in almost every area of interest. Take the hard way then come and talk to me.

It's during the hard times and when things get really bad that you find out who your friends are.

The only time to give up on something important is when you're dead.

If you desire vengeance so be it, only know when enough is enough and when to stop.

Everything ends, death by old age is a rule of nature. Make the time you have worth something.

Do what you will with the following stories. I personally don't believe in this kind of stuff; I just thought it was neat, so I copied and pasted it here. I'm going to run from the Slender Man now. Bye!

After lunch, her teacher announced that the school was holding a fire drill. When the alarm sounded, Carmen and the other students filed out of the classroom and assembled in the yard outside. As the teachers read out the roll call, the gang of five girls decided that this was a great opportunity to embarrass Carmen in front of the whole school during the fire drill. They moved over... to where Carmen was standing, near a sewer drain, and began crowding the poorgirl, getting in her face and nudging her towards the open manhole.

They pushed her and she tripped over and fell head-first down the manhole. When they saw her falling, the girls started giggling and when Carmen's name was called out, they shouted "She's down in the sewer!"

All of the other students began laughing. But when the teachers looked down the manhole and saw Carmen's body lying at the bottom in the muck and the poop, the laughter abruptly stopped. Her head was twisted around at an odd angle and her face was covered in blood. Worse still, she wasn't moving. There was nothing any of the teachers could do for her. Carmen was dead. When the police arrived and went down into the sewer, they determined that she had broken her neck. Her face had been torn off when she hit the ladder on the way down and her neck snapped when she landed on her head on the concrete at the bottom.

The police hauled Carmen's body out of the sewer and sent her to the mortuary. Everyone had to stay behind after school while the police questioned all of Carmen's classmates. The five girlslied to the police, saying they had witnessed Carmen falling down the sewer. The police believed the girls and Carmen Winstead's death was ruled an accident and the case was closed. Everyone thought that was the last they would hear of Carmen Winstead, but they were wrong.

Months later,Carmen's classmates began receiving strange e-mails on their MySpaces. The e-mails were titled "They Pushed Her" and claimed that Carmen hadn't really fallen down the sewer, she had been pushed. The e-mails also warned that the guilty people should own up and take responsibility for their crime. If they didn't there would be horrible consequences. Most people dismissed the e-mails as a hoax, but others were not so sure.

A few days later,one of the girls who pushed Carmen down the sewer was at home taking a shower, when she heard a strange cackling laugh. It seemed to be coming from the drain. The girl started to freak out and ran out of the bathroom. That night, the girl said goodnight to her mom and went to sleep. Five hours later, her mom was awoken in the middle of the night, by a loudnoise that resounded throughout the house. She ran into her daughter's room, only to find it empty. There was no trace of the girl. The worried mother called the police and when they arrived,they conducted a search of the area. Eventually, they discovered the girl's grisly remains.

Her corpse was lying in the sewer, covered in muck and poop. Her neck was broken and her face missing. It had been completely torn off. One by one, all of the girls who pushed Carmen that day were found dead. They had all been killed in exactly the same way and were all found at exactly the same spot. In the sewer at the bottom of the same uncovered manhole where Carmen had met her doom. But the killing didn't stop there. More and more of Carmen's former classmates were found dead. It seemed that anyone who didn't believe that Carmen had been pushed, was eventually found down in the sewer with their necks broken and their faces torn off.

They say that Carmen's ghost is still on the rampage, hunting down anyone who doesn't believe herstory. According to the legend, Carmen will get you, whetherit's from a toilet, a shower, a sink or a drain. When you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in complete darkness, paralyzed, unable to move, hearing cackling laughter all around you. Then, as you scream in horror, Carmen will come and tear your face off.

So be careful who you bully, because you just might find yourself on the receiving end of the curse of Carmen Winstead.

FACT: About two months later,16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later,his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later,the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off.

Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true.

If you don't repost this saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or a drain.

Here's a little something I found going through a 'friend's' files. Apparently, someone decided to give Storia a ton of information on me!

Jarl of the North
Rank: Dangerous. Do not actively pursue.
Inversion name: Unknown and irrelevant.
Chron-Age: Unknown. Bio-Age: Adult, prime.
House: Unsure, appears to be Ghiaccio due to ice-based abilities. Possible fire-based abilities may indicate Terme hybrid.
Neg-In location: Unknown.
Current base of operations: Skyrim, Elder scrolls-verse. Time period is Fourth-era Stormcloak Rebellion. Dec-locus unknown.
Verse of origin: Hinted to be same.
Original species: Human, displays characteristic traits of other races. Apparently Dovahkiin

Report: We know very little about the one known as Jarl, abilities aside. In fact, we would not even know he was a Gorem if he had not actually told those Gormim he encountered. From what he hinted, he was able to break free of the Voice and leave us. How he apparently did so is unknown. His physical strength is enough for him to evenly match Medians. Jarl apparently has world-jumping capabilities, as the Charred Council has apparently been riled by him. All Gormim who encounter him return with failure. They report that the Voice invariably forces them to fight him. All efforts have failed to permanently kill him; it seems he is even able to escape an Infinity Unbound, which means that whatever world-jumping ability he has must be both fast and instantly accessible. For those who have not used IU, it means he's intelligent or resourceful enough to find the location of each one's NI. No Gorem is meant to retain such knowledge; as the de-facto leader and record-keeper, I and I alone have been entrusted with that knowledge. Also, he seems to have problems with debts, which he leaves for his pursuers. Hence the 'do not actively pursue' order. Find a way to head him off.

Theories:

1. No one can remember his membership to the Gormim nor his leaving. To have such a hole in my memory suggests interference by Scorda UDOM. As I can't make that bastard tell me what he doesn't want to, that's a dead end. However, my suspicions remain.

2. The Voice works by manipulating the soul. That Jarl has broken free of it's influence suggests that his soul may have been removed, or something similar. If it were not so doubtful, I might think that Dro UDOM might have had something to do with it. Nevertheless, I will endevour to ask him, if Scorda does not wipe my memory first.

3. His knowledge of a Gorem's Negative Infinity location is extremely troubling. It could be that he somehow has a way of gathering the info needed. That, or he was a relatively 'young' Gorem when he left. May be consorting with the UDOM, who are not controlled by the Voice.

Appearance: Witnesses of encounters with the Jarl describe him as nearly six and a half feet tall, with long white hair growing downwards from his head in severe spikes, with pale skin, piercing, stark blue eyes, several scars running diagonally on his left cheek as if something tried to claw his face off, and a multitude of scars criss-crossing all across his body. He has no Gormim equipment with him, only a massive nodachi slung across his back in a black sheath, special armour in the likeness of a tunic-length kimono with the left shoulder and sleeve torn off, made of mythril and having been fasioned into a mail so fine it feels like cloth, but is in truth hard as dragon scales. A black obi is wrapped around his waist, keeping in place a katana (presumed to be his zanpakuto, name and abilities currently unknown), and long black pants of the same mail as the kimono, with black metal boots that reach up to his knees. His skin is apparently made up of miniscule dragon scales so small one has to get right up close to see them, his fingers end in short, but sharp claws, and his teeth are incredibly sharp, more like a dragon's than a shark's. He also has a small leather bag hanging from his obi that, according to witness accounts, holds incredible amounts of money, seemingly limitless amounts of weapons and books, and is overall in truth a treasure trove. Is it a simple magic bag, or a portal to where he keeps his treasure? On his right hand is a single band of gold on his ring finger, a ring that he purged of evil and kept to increase his power; we suspect the ring to be Sauron's, having been pried out of the dead hands from Sauron in a Lord of the Rings universe after the Jarl killed him and purified the ring of the Dark Lord's evil. Good grief, this man truly likes to wear his accomplishments, doesn't he?

Rumored abilities: Since leaving the Gormim, he has not ceased to collect abilities and has no compunction against using them.

Swordsmanship to rival Kelvin Ghiaccio (Information is from long ago. Unknown if the comparison still holds true.)
Physical strength that overpowered Mason Gloma (Mason is susceptible to the Worf Effect, so he was not able to go all out; again this may be innaccurate.)
Ninjutsu: Apparently has an arsenal of thousands (Likely exaggeration) of jutsus in Suiton, Raiton, and Fuuton, using Katon the least.
Taijutsu: Perhaps higher than Gai. Neither Thaddeus not Hailey have encountered him, so unsure.
Accuracy: Rivals Archer.
Kido: Specializes in Hado, though has used Bakudo.
Cero: Uses all of the Ceros. All of them. Includes variations he made. Fortunately, not at the level of power of Lord English.
Zanpakuto: Has one. Able to release in both the Shinigami and Arrancar manners.
Has combined Shunpo and Sonido.
Unknown if he possesses Quincy abilities. Appears not to.
Skin is that of a dragon. Extremely resilient.
Has obtained Black Blood. Implies dealings with Medusa. Possible weakness should he face Blair.
Can manipulate Chronospheres. Takes a while to charge and recharge, fortunately.
Displays abilities that he claims to have taken from Samael. Good grief.
As Dovahkiin, has knowledge of Shouts. Claims to have knowledge of entire Dragon Lexicon. We'll see.

Accomplices and allies:

Paarthurnax: He apparently studied under the dragon for years in the Way of the Voice.

Alduin: The World Eater has apparently made an ally out of the Jarl for unknown reasons.

The Nine Kings: After the death of Sauron, the nine kings returned to their original states, and out of gratitude swore fealty to the Jarl of the North. They have even more power than what they had as the Ring Wraiths, so keep your guard up.

Ulfric Stormcloak: The Jarl helped this man win the war against the Empire in the Elder Scroll universe, and thus gained his eternal alliance.

The Companions: The Jarl became their Harbinger, so they follow his orders without question.

Note: He appears to have no knowledge of Homestuck-verse, thank god! The last thing we need is for him to get a Kernelsprite and Prototype himself. Or worse, go God-Tier! Unlikely he'd use the rings; they only work for carapacians and Archivist Adrian Dulcimer.

You are powerful, Jarl, but there is also much that you are ignorant of. Should we meet in battle, know that even the Heir can fall to the Mage. Of course, the reverse could prove true as well. So I will make sure that will not happen. I know you will find a way to read this, so...

With Regards,
Storia Daisho
Narrator and Head of Magia
Mage of Mind

(The Gormim belong to NorthSouthGorem; I only own Jarl of the North. The Gormim were used with permission. All info above was helped with by NorthSouthGorem; check out his profile in my favorites.)

If I ever find the guy who gave all this information to the Gormim, his corpse will never be found.