Rubes99
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since: 08-29-12, id: 4227975, Profile Updated: 04-07-13
country: Australia
Author has written 4 stories for Alex Rider, Merlin, and Danny Phantom.

Hi! I've been haunting this site for nearly a year now, and I've finally decided to make an account.
I'm more of a reader than a writer, so you'll mostly find favourite stories here. (Does anyone even read these things? If you are, the only stuff on here that isn't completely random is at the very top and the very bottom. Have fun!)

My absolute favourite fanfictions EVER would have to be: (In no particular order)
Coincidences by Katherine Moonhawk
The Other Side by ProtoZivot
Fishing Off The Roof by Warriora

If you're ever in need of a laugh and love Charmed, check out ProtoZivot's stories. They. Are. Hilarious.
Oh, yeah, and if you're into Avengers (which somehow I manage to be, even though I've never seen 'Iron Man' or 'The Avengers') and looking for a laugh (seriously, I discovered muscles I never knew I had. Who knew laughing so much could hurt?), I suggest you check out 'It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time' by Livin4Jesus.


START OF THE RANDOM STUFF

Now for some random stuff:
-98 percent of all teenage girls would give their souls to Edward Cullen if he was stabbed with a wooden stake. Post this on your profile if you're part of the 2 percent that stabbed him. (Sorry Twihards, I just think that series is kinda dumb. I read somewhere 'Harry Potter is about overcomming adversity, Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend.)

-93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A- Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, SilverMoonArcher, Uchiha Kyori of the sand, LilMissWolfGirl, Ginny-Harry-2gether-4ever, GreenOscar, Rubes99

-If you've ever argued with yourself, and lost, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you are like me and totally support homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile. They are people just like you and me, so don't hate them just because their sexuality is different.

-If you know who Panic! At the Disco is and know that they are NOT disco...copy this into your profile.

-'They're' is a contraction of 'THEY ARE'. 'Their' means something belongs to a group of two or more people. 'There' is an indication of something that is not in the immediate vicinity. THIS IS NOT THAT DIFFICULT OF A CONCEPT. Copy and paste if you have ANY respect for the English language.

-Just because you learned a new word, whether it be 'cerulean', 'phenomenal', or 'juxtaposition', doesn't mean you HAVE to include it several times in the opening paragraph.

-IF ONE MORE OF YOU WRITES THAT SOMEONE HAS 'CURVES IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES', I WILL F--ING KILL YOU. If you agree, copy this into your profile.

-If you think Fanfiction.net is way better than Myspace or Facebook could ever hope to be in eternity, copy and paste and add your name. otherrelmwriter, WWMTgirl, Update, Rubes99. (This is coming from the person who hates both Twitter, Facebook and Myspace with a passion, so it doesn't mean much)

-If there are times when you wanna (and do) annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

-Drugs are bad news. Spread the word.

-If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If keyboards hate you copy and paste this into your profile!

-The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.


Things To Think About:

If two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feet ball?

They say guns don't kill people, people kill people. Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? It sounds like a near hit to me!

Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?

Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients, but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

War doesn't determine who's right, just who has the most guns.


For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut
I HAVE STRAIGHT A's so I MUST have no social life
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO

I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border
I GOT A CAR FOR CHRISTMAS, so I MUST be a spoiled brat
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills
I'mTEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies, drink the blood of virgins and worship Satan

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problem


I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that stuff up in two seconds. That's why when I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you."


Stupidest Last Words In The History Of Mankind:

What does this button do?

It's probably just a rash.

Are you sure the power is off?

The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!

Which wire was I supposed to cut?

I wonder where the mother bear is.

I've seen this done on TV.

These are the good kind of mushrooms.

It's strong enough for both of us.

This doesn't taste right.

I can do that with my eyes closed.

I've done this before.

Well, we've made it this far.

That's odd.

I'll just put my head in it to make sure.

Don't be so superstitious.

Now watch this.

Look Ma! No Hands!

Don't worry, it's not contagious.

Of course it's safe.

It can't get any worse...

There's only one way to find out!


(/) (/)
(='.'=) This is Arty. Copy and paste Arty...
(")_(") to help him gain world domination!


END OF THE RANDOM STUFF

Pet Hates:
Bad grammar and spelling. I mean, everyone's entitled to make mistakes, but being too lazy to put in a question mark? Spelling something wrong every second word? Yeah, that really pisses me off. Apart from that, there's not really anything else...hmm...well, apart from idiots, people who chew with their mouths open, people who don't respect other people's beliefs...Yeah, I could be here a while...

(21/10/12)
OH MY GOD! I JUST UPLOADED MY FIRST STORY! Sorry for that minor freak-out. Now I can get back to reading stuff without those stupid plot bunnies bugging me... or not.


1. The Mission Files » reviews
A collection of one- and two-shots on Alex's missions and people's views of him, themed around songs. Chapter Six: Somebody That I Used To Know, Gotye.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 17,089 - Reviews: 47 - Updated: 4-7-13 - Published: 1-30-13 - Alex R./Cub
2. I Am Not What You Think reviews
"My life is not what you think it is. You think I have it easy. I do not." A short 'poem' from Danny's perspective, directed at basically everyone who's ever put him down.
Danny Phantom - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 796 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3-21-13 - Danny F. - Complete
3. That's My Name reviews
Merlin somehow manages to get himself possessed by a sorcerer. And guess what the sorcerer wants to do. ...Kill the Pendragons. Anyone else notice the repetativeness? (Oneshot. Again.)
Merlin - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 803 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 12-29-12 - Merlin - Complete
4. Never Too Young To Die reviews
My footsteps echo in the deserted corridor, sounding like the rapid fire of a machine gun. I glance over my shoulder. They're still there. (Oneshot.)
Alex Rider - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 938 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 10-20-12 - Alex R./Cub - Complete