I now have a new obsession: LotR. I LOVE it, I am re-reading ALL of the books (anyone who says that The Hobbit is a prequel will be sentenced to go and watch New Moon in a corner. Period.) and watching ALL oif the movies twice. Because Elijah Wood is my future husband. Period.

Hi im Holmes1216 and i L.O.V.E doctor who and Jily (James and Lily) fics. I just want to say howdy. Byeeeeeeeee

challenge time!!!!: Write fifteen drabbles based on this word: Understanding. When ur done, PM me and I'll read :{)

Please review my stories i know there all rubbish but i tried my best

Byeeeeeeeee.Again.

Am eating cheese and writing. Am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Bored!

Please review. Please. Even a little bit?

READ ALEXIA BLACKBRIAR'S STORY'S THEY ARE TO GOOD TO MISS!

Ok...Erm...Slightly awkward...

P.S Bow ties are and have always been cool.

Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is.

Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’.

Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever.

Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as ‘Professor’, ‘Headmaster’ or ‘Sir’, not ‘Dude’, ‘My Leige’ or ‘Tim the Enchanter’.

Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy.

Draco Malfoy … disagrees.

Ron Weasley … is very afraid.

Hermione Granger:...is more afraid than Ron

Ron Weasley:...is more afraid than anyone especially Hermione

Harry Potter:...is bored of this conversation and want's to kick Voldie's butt

Luna Lovegood … is perfectly sane, thanks very much.

Voldemort ... HAS A NOSE OKAY?!

Ginny Weasley … wants her Hogwarts toilet seat.

Fred Weasley … knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it’s against the rules and therefore should not carry it out.

George Weasley … knows he and his twin will carry it out and are not remotely sorry.

Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter.

James Potter … doesn’t believe her.

Remus Lupin … would prefer less jokes about ‘his time of the month’.

Sirius Black … killed by drapery.

Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggle – screw the consequences.

Bellatrix Black … is quietly going insane.

Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if HP were to put on earmuffs and pulled out a mandrake in his presence.

Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff.

Slytherins … will push someone else off.

Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase.

Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet.

(\ _ /)
(O.o )

This is Bunny.
Copy Bunny into your profile to help him on his way to world domination!
Come join the dark side; we have cookies! And better yet, Merlin, Arthur, Edward, Jacob, Tristian, Peeta, and Percy plushies! Oh yes!!

99% of teenagers would die if Justin Bieber jumped off a building. Repost this if you're the 1% that would be eating pop corn wearing 3D glasses screaming "Do a back flip!"

"I walk, talk, eat and sleep on earth, but I live my life in a completely different world." If this sentence describes you, copy and paste on your profile.

If you wanna WHACK the BBC for cancelling Merlin, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE, GET A BAT AND FOLLOW ME

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile.

If you ever pushed on a door that said "Pull" copy this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you hate those obnoxious preppy people PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE copy this in your profile.

If you have ever burst out in insane laughter for absolutely no reason at all, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile

[1] I need to tell you a secret LOOK AT 5
[2] The answer is LOOK AT 11
[3] Dont get mad LOOK AT 15
[4] Calm down don’t be mad LOOK AT 13
[5] First LOOK AT 2
[6] Dont be that angry LOOK AT 12
[7] I’m bored.
[8] What I wanted to tell you is…THE ANSWER IS ON 14
[9] Be patient LOOK AT 4
[10] This is the last time I’m going to do this LOOK AT 7
[11] I hope you’re not mad when I say this LOOK AT6
[12] Sorry LOOK AT 8
[13] Don’t be getting a hype LOOK AT 10
[14] I dont know how to say this LOOK AT 3
[15] You must be realllllly mad LOOK AT NUMBER9

Tee he heee!

NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast
PJO FANS:will tell Zeus to make it rain

NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!
PJO FANS: say OH MY GODS!

NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings
PJO FANS:won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you!
PJO FANS: say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you!

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that PJO fans are stupid
PJO FANS: know that normal people are stupid

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
PJO FANS: when being chased use their awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms
PJO FANS: yell at Zeus to calm down

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation
PJO FANS: would try and find Camp Half Blood

NORMAL PEOPLE:

NORMAL PEOPLE:don't have this on their profile
PJO FANS: MUST have this on their profile!

this is this dog

this is is dog

this is how dog

this is to dog

this is keep dog

this is an dog

this is idiot dog

this is busy dog

this is for dog

this is forty dog

this is seconds dog

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down. If you get it. Paste it. :D

My fave pairings:

Legolas/ Anyone

Frodo/OC

Frodo/Sam

Merthur (ish)

Matt and Kaz

Matt and Alex

Doctor and River

James and Lily

Remus and OC

Sirius and Marlene

Rory and Amy

Matt and candy floss

Merlin and Freya

Merlin and Morgana (pre evil)

KLAINE!

Seblaine

Huntbastian (my fave! Like, ever. It's a Lily and James Potter situation, their both awesome, and one of them hates the other)

Blam!

Smytheberry (come on, their hilarious)

Sebtana (They literally HAVE to happen at some point)

I like...

SEBASTIAN SMYTHE!!!!

HUNTER CLARINGTON!!!

BLAINE ANDERSON!!!

RACHEL BERRY!!

NIFF!

I also kinda defiantly ship Merthur, sorry Lexi... BUT REALLY, WAY SHOULDN'T THEY BE TOGETHER? The love IS there...Watch the finale and you will see...

I freaking ADORE Frodo. Because he's freaking adorable, cute, all diferent kinds of awesome, and a total Badass. I sometimes ship Frodo/ OC or Frodo/Sam-ish. I don't really like them but it's kinda hard to ignore the 'My Sam's' or the 'My Mr. Frodo's' there are.

I LOVE Legolas, with pretty much everyone, including Aragorn, because feels (So THERE homophobic peeps!!!!).

Cheese

Candy floss

Sweets (Anything except liquorish. Yuck.)

Cookies

Chocolate muffins

Matt Smith ( met him. AHHHHH!)

Karen Gillan

Alex Kingston

Arthur Darvill

Darren Criss

Grant Gustin

Chris Colfer

Nolan Funk

Small vegetarian wildlife

Salamanders

Doctor Who (Duh)

Sherlock (double duh)

Merlin (OMG triple duh)

I Don't like

Yogurt

Liquorish

Homework

Blueberry muffins

Bananas

Pink fluffy things

My friends making me eat 'Mystery stew'

THE SEVEN MONTHS WAITING FOR DOCTOR WHO TO COME BACK ON!!!

Liquorish. Again.

The BBC for cancelling Merlin *breaks down into random sobbing*

Random Factoids about me

I hate liquorish

My friends sister i have nicknamed The Salamander

I'm part of a group called The Banjo's at school ( weird name I know. Blame my best friends)

I'm addicted to Doctor Who fics and chocolate cookies

Am addicted to Marauder fics and Candyfloss

I like cheese

My nickname is Wolfie

I own 12 sketch pads (9 of which are filled)

If I have any sugar whatsoever I have a massive sugar high

I am Moony the Zombie Werewolf (Other nickname. Friend who loves Dobby's Sock's stories christened me this)

I'm BORED a lot

I hate homework

I love the TV show Sherlock

I love Doctor Who (does there need to be a reason why?)

I'm an official Whovian

I have a pet Dalek called Richard

I live next to a pair of Slitheen who got kicked off Raxicoricofallapatorious for being nice

I'm a mad girl with a box ( and no, it's not cardboard)

School dinners are rubbish

I've read every book in the school library (no joke)

My mother is addicted to soppy strictly

I know how to kill you in seven different ways with an HB Pencil ( not kidding. I read far too many spy books!)

I've met Matt Smith (The Matt Smith. The Doctor)

I'm totally mad

Everything above is true. I solemnly swear it.

Moony XXX

Fave Quotes from WHO

''Bow ties are cool'' 11th Doctor

''Hello Sweetie'' River Song

''Impending alien attack, 20 minutes to live, no plan and I have a post office and it's shut!'' 11th

''Bacon! That's bacon! Are you trying to poison me?'' 11th

''Ewww! Alien bogies!'' 11th

“You need to get yourself a better dictionary. When you do, look up “genocide”. You’ll find a little picture of me there, and the caption’ll read “Over my dead body.” 10th Doctor

I can summon the armada and take this world by force. Well, yeah, you could. Yeah, you could do that, of course you could. But why? Look at these people: these human beings. Consider their potential. From the day they arrive on the planet, and blinking step into the sun. There is more to see than can ever be seen. More to do than - no, hold on... Sorry, that's the 'Lion King'. But the point still stands." Sycorax general...person and 10th

Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink.
What's that?
No idea. Just made it up. Didn't want to say "magic door"." Mickey and 10th

"Oh finally! True love at last! Amy Pond flirting with herself...Oh sorry Rory''' 11th

''Do not at this point Yowze.'' Amy Pond

''It's called marriage honey'' River Song

''SHUT UP SPACEMAN!'' Donna

''Is there any other way Daddyo?" Rose

''You knowe the Huuuhhh hoooh huuuh hoooh noise? No?''
It's not supposed to make that noise. You leave the brakes on!'' River and 11th

''Hi honey I'm home!''
And what sort of time d'you call this?'' River and 11th

''Yeah well Amelia! I have to go into a maze of dead people with no plan whatsoever. Supposing the radiation doesn't kill me. Supposing we don't all die. I have to come up with a brilliant and completely impossible plan to save everyone's lives!''
''Awwww. Is someone Mr. Grumpy Face today?'' Amy and 11th

''Something's wrong...''
What like the old days sort of wrong?''
''Exactly like the old days kind of wrong!''
''Oh groovy!'' Sarah Jane and Jo Grant.

"You're Scottish, fry something!'' 11th

These are in a word. EPIC!

Moony xxx

MERLIN QUOTES:

Arthur: Merlin!

NEXT!!!

Merlin: Prat

Arthur: Idiot!

Merlin: Oaf!

Arthur: Shut up Merlin!

NEXT!!

Merlin: Will it be hot? Will it be cold? Will it be wet? Will it be dry?

Arthur: Merlin..."

Merlin: What? Really? I don't know what to pack! Hang on...You don't know where we're going do you?"

Arthur: Of course I know! I just can't tell you!"

Merlin: I suppose you'd have to kill me" *joking*

Arthur: Immediately and without hesitation" *stone faced*

Merlin: Okaaay. Love a good surprise...who doesn't love surprises..."

NEXT!!!!

Arthur: Give me one good reason why I shouldn't run you through right now!

Dragoon: You shouldn't do that! Because if you did that, you would never learn of my plan...

Arthur: What plan?

Dragoon: EXACTLY! That's why you can't run me through!

NEXT!!!!

Uther: Can someone please explain what happened"

Merlin: Well-

Uther: Someone with a brain?

NEXT!!!

Arthur: Now I realize you're not as big of a fool as you look.

Merlin: I feel the same, now that I realize you're not as arrogant as you sound.

Arthur: Do you still think I'm arrogant?

Merlin: No. More... supercilious.

Arthur: That's a big word Merlin. Are you sure you know what it means?

Merlin: Condescending

Arthur: Very good.

Merlin: Patronizing

Arthur: It doesn't quite mean that...

Merlin: No. These are just other things you are.

NEXT!

Dragoon: Questions...So many damn questions! For once in your life, would you just do what you told!

NEXT!!!!

Arthur: Do you have any idea what it’s like to live with a man who constantly thinks he’s the best?

Merlin: Mmm… Must be irritating.

NEXT!!!

Arthur: Merlin…..

Merlin: What?

Arthur: I’m the one who gives the orders. Remember?

Merlin: Yeah. You ready? Let’s go.

NEXT!!!!!

Merlin: You're a hero.

Arthur: Thank you, Merlin.

Merlin: Not to me, to your people.

Arthur: And why is that?

Merlin: Because I know something that they don’t

Arthur: And what is that? *Merlin looks around. No-one is watching.*

Merlin: You, my friend are a cabbage head.

NEXT!!!!

Arthur: Describe Dollop head.

Merlin: In two words?

Arthur: Er yeah

Merlin: Prince Arthur

NEXT!!!

Arthur: You should follow them. The woods is safe

Merlin: Hmm...Nah, I've seen the woods already

NEXT!!!!

Arthur: We have to lift him onto the bed.

Merlin: What? He’s asleep. He’ll never know.

Arthur: Merlin!!

Merlin: Well… I’ll suppose he can have a pillow.

Arthur: But...he’s the king!

Merlin: All right, fine! Two pillows.

NEXT!!!

Merlin: I’m sick and tired of cleaning up after Arthur! I cook his meals, clean his clothes, not to mention the small matter of saving his life every other day. And what do I get in return? I get picked on at training this morning, and when I try to tell him why and how Elyan is acting the way he is, he nearly takes my head off! Gaius? Are you even listening?! Great! I might as well not even exist! Hello, my name is Merlin. Don’t worry about me, I’m not even here! I mean, It's not like I a have a great destiny! Nope not me!

NEXT!!!

Merlin: "How long have you been training to be a prat?"

Arthur: "You can't talk to me like that."

Merlin: "I'm so sorry, how long have you been training to be a prat, my lord?"

I LOVE Merlin. It is my life. Wow. I'm really obsessed...

If you are hardcore obsessed with a show or movie or book, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think that Uther Pendragon would accuse a rock of sorcery if he tripped on it, paste this on your profile.

If you have Merlin's rant down pat, this one's for you!

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientist's liking. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're a total klutz, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for something to copy and paste, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're the type of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy and paste this into your profile..

If you randomly check your email every five minutes while on the computer, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler then being cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get all giddy when you hear a trailer for your favorite TV show/movie is on TV, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're not ashamed to call yourself a fangirl (or squeal like one), copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've every tripped up the stairs, copy and paste onto you profile.

Copy and paste this to your profile if you know a book character that just HAS to exist.

If you want your favorite fictional characters to exist, copy and paste on your profile

If you talk to inanimate objects, copy and paste to your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end reading fanfiction, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are Merlin obsessed, copy this into your profile. (HECK YES!)

If you automatically tune in to a conversation whenever anyone mentions Merlin, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you hear the voices of characters in your head, put this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with FanFiction, put this into your profile.

If you've ever been called a bookworm and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

.Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile

If you love rain, paste this on your profile

If Fanfiction to you is what Facebook is to other people, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you like profiles that have a bunch of stuff in them, copy and paste this to your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for something to copy and paste, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.

If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects post this in your profile.

If, for any particular reason, you have laughed during a movie that wasn't funny, copy and paste this into your profile.

You are a WHOVIAN if any of these things apply to you

You wish you were ginger

You are Scottish

You hate apples

You hate yogurt

You love bow ties

You think jammy dodgers are awesome

You have tried Fish Custard

You love converse trainers

You have written at least three Doctor Who Fics

You call anyone called Jack 'Captain Cheesecake'

If you meet someone called Mickey you call them 'Mickey the Idiot' or 'Rickey' just to annoy them

You cried when Rose left

You cried when Donna left, Martha left

You had an emotional breakdown when the Ponds left

You love how River Song orders the Doctor around 'Heel boy' and whatnot

You hate when people write 'Dr Who'. Ugh

You have been to a Doctor Who event. Ever

You have met any of the cast

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliché, Katie-3llen,Angelz on Edge, TempestStormBFFofMax, that my bff!Aqua279, Martiny the one and only still, Cooper101, horsegirl332211,Valkyriexx, Holmes1216

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace,or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment),who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with alot of things, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone- Holmes1216, Bearhug946, EdwardCullenEqualsLife, Stephanie Deux, Aintzane411, BillieMaysSaysKaboom,Nuns N' Bagels, Damon.x.Baird.x, ita-chan01, Razzika, .Talithia-Hawk., Brittnodo, SunnySmile1324

What is this sleep you speak of?

-Moony

Don't upset me, i'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

Be optimistic, someday everyone you hate are going to die.

Sometimes i lay awake at night and ask "Where have i gone wrong?" and a little voice in my head says "This is gonna take more than one night."

The buddy system is essential to survive, it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Forgive your enemies, it messes with their heads.

9 out of the 10 voices in my head agree that I'm sane.

I'm not afraid of death, what's it gonna do? Kill me?

Boys are like slinky's, useless but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I used to have super powers but then my therapist took them away.

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Energizer bunny arrested, charged with battery.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

Go to hell!" "Been there, done that, got bored, bought a t-shirt, came back.

When I argue with myself it's normal. It's when I argue with myself and I LOSE that it's weird.

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.

It is surprising that history should be so dull considering that so much of it is invented.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Heaven kicked me out. Hell is afraid I'll take over.

(Someone boring talking to you) "Hold that thought, I need to do something" walk over and stare at a wall "yup, a lot more interesting"

I used to think that the whole world was against me. Now I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.

"If there's a light at the end of the tunnel it's the oncoming train"

"Whoever said that words don’t hurt, never got hit by a dictionary."

Parents spend the first half of your life teaching you to walk and talk, and the other half telling you to sit down and shut up.

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh harder.

People who think they know everything are annoying to those of us who do.

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

'Pessimist' is a word used by optimists to describe someone who sees the world for what it really is.

Don’t steal, the government hates competition.

Your village called, their idiot is missing

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.

If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

This isn't school! This is Hell with fluorescent lighting.

If con is the opposite of pro, tell me, what is the opposite of progress?

I'm never wrong. Once, I thought I was, but I was mistaken.

If it wasn’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.

This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence.

If you hate someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way you are a mile away from them AND you have their shoes.

Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn

We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.

Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away... if you throw it hard enough.

Whoever said, "Nothing is impossible," never tried slamming a revolving door.

You are an asset, when you’re not being a pain in the asset.

Stupid is when you spend 18 hours trying to drown a fish.

You can have as many friends that money can buy, but I’ll still hate you for free.

I never apologize. I’m sorry, that’s just the way I am.

The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.

If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.

If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing.

I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

When butterflies fall in love do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Me? Fail English!? … That’s unpossible!

I wonder if people wonder what I wonder, because I wonder what people wonder. Do YOU wonder what I wonder? Now THAT is what I wonder. I wonder what you’re wondering as you wonder what I wonder, if of course you’re even wondering what I’m wondering… I wonder...

I ate my homework cos my teacher said it was a piece of cake. – she lied.

If all the world's a stage... where the heck is the audience sitting??

Don’t expect the unexpected unless the unexpected expects you.

I am a member of NAPWDLA…National Association of People Who Don’t Like Abbreviations

There’s a fine line between genius and stupidity… I like to jump rope with that line.

In the beginning God made the heaven and the earth. The rest was made in China.

I am never serious. Seriously.

A message to LIFE: Please stop giving me lemons, can I have some chocolate now?

I don’t walk away from fights, I prefer running.

Many of us have sought the meaning of life. Fortunately it’s out on DVD now.

I’m always right… except when I’m wrong.

It’s bad luck to be superstitious.

Excuse me, but do these stairs go up?

Traffic is moving at a standstill.

I have multiple personalities, and so do I.

I let some blind guy borrow money the other day. He said he was gonna pay me back the next time he saw me. Wait.

I always lie. Trust me.

To kill a mocking bird. Now that’s one less bird that will wake you up, with it’s chirping.

If aliens come down to earth looking for intelligent life. Wrong planet. Sorry.

If life gives you lemons, say, “Great! I love lemons! What else ya got?”

Who’s stupid, the stupid that called the stupid, stupid, or the stupid who was called stupid by the stupid?

HEY CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHAT THE CAPS LOCK KEY IS FOR.

Why can’t I get any soup with this fork?

Today, I took an elevator up from the top floor to the basement. It was up-lift-ing.

The is a thin line between a stupid and a fool. I’m on a quest to discover whether it was an idiot or a fool who erased it.

We cannot give you the weather today because we depend on weather reports from the airport which is shut due to weather conditions. We might be able to give you a weather report tomorrow depending on the weather.

A day without sunshine is, like night.

People always say you can be who you wanna be but I can never be a giraffe.

Traffic is very heavy at the moment, so if you are thinking of leaving now, you’d better set off a few minutes earlier.

"What color was Napoleon’s white horse?" "Uh, I dunno… Black?"

As a girl was looking at a poodle, she said “Whoa! it’s a sheep!”

7 Ways to Scare your roommates

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."
6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.
2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you are insane, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile

If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile!(What do you mean not to put this on my profile? I have every right to, dammit!)

If you talk to yourself, copy this on to your profile

If you love someone who doesn't exist to pieces put this on your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you don't believe life is fair shit...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're a girl and get sick and tired of guys assuming that you're weak and can’t fight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever sung a song you hated so much, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever made your own "copy and paste", copy and paste this into your profile.

IF you suffer from CRS(Can't Remember Shit), copy and paste this into your profile.

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

"I'd die before I help you!"

"Oh, don't be boring. Everyone who says that dies."

I swear, when I've taken over the world and have a captive who says the first line I will defiantly say the far-too-goddamn-awesome second line. I swear.